The evening world. Newspaper, September 22, 1908, Page 14

| keeping of worthless notes, valueless stock and non-Interest paying Bees PULITZER, Pres., 1 Bast 132 Sireet, p @ubecription Rates to The Fvening orld for the Unjteu States and,Canada, P @eMitshea Daily Oxcept Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Nos, 53 te @ Park Row, New York. Bntered at the Post-Onice at New ATE ap $i 9 at MBA Ahly Sty oer uti bie sn Giant ihn gnps id Daily Magazine, Tuesaay, Evening wor | Mad Elephant Frees Snakes. By Maurice Ketten. ODO OOOOOuOnT \OO Years from Now n New York By Helen Vail Wallace OOOO OOOO J. ANGUS STAY, See, Trena,, 901 West 112% Stro — s : x ) were York as Second-Class Mall Matter. | For England and the Continent and ‘All Countries in the International Postal Union. One Year. One Month DOOM E'LL need no graves in which Morning suffctent for the day's outlay. ) tap much of what the politicians call The convention that nominated @ome respects that it forgot to speak bur deieat. tocracy, the great combines and the nd the purchase of laws in advance This is the sort of thing, carried and Bailey in confusion and shame. to honored graves long ago, with no been gross offenders. If Foraker and opinion has changed. mendation. ++ ago the other day, it was found that of fresh fish or newly lald eggs, it ts art of the embalmer has been carried to an extreme, WHAT CHANLER NE It {8 said of Mr. Bryan's sojourns at Wolfert’s Roost and Esopus that) @hey rejated to Mr. Chanler's candidacy and “the construction of a more ® pertect harmony pian.” Under all the circumstances there can sasily be, Lat him vewaro of it,, What he needs is a platform. "that its real inspiration came from monopolistic, corporate, speculative) and other selfish interests known to be opposed to good goverment. the general weltare; less of attempting to profit by some of Gov. Hugaes's | @pMities and more of the opportunity which 18 undoubte him of surpassing that officer in true independence, real efiiciency and \ Courage and genuine zeal for public service, in one direction lies uothing dn the other there may be advancement and iame, —— PRIVILEGE BiKEAKING DOWN, For many years the liepublicans made a god of vusivess. In adminis-| tration and in legisiation it was alw: Baturaliy some businesses were favored more than others, although there Was @ pretense to the contrary, aud so were developed privilege and plu- It is not so very long ago that public men accepted employment from | important business interests and regarded it as praiseworthy, end of government was to promote business, what objection could lle in a service which contemplated the advancement of a particular businesa? Alexander Hamilton held that government must be by “interest'"—that is, by corruption. If the rich and powerful could be attached to government by interest it would be safe enough to leave the poor to thelr generosity. breaking down of late and which is involving men like Senators Foraker business and government were identical. Many of their associates went derbolts gf popular wrath it is not because their sins are more helnous than | | those of many others, but because public conscience !s awake and public) To whatever extent Theodore Roosevelt as President, or William J. Bryan as agitator, or numerous sensational writers as muckrakers, bave contributed to this most beneficent awakening they are entitled to com- TOO MUCH COLD STORAGE. Overhauling the affairs of a financialiy embarrassed concern tn Chi- been held in cold storage for sixteen months. The firm's difficulties are not known to have proceeded from anything of this kind, but {t Is @ fact that cold storage has made Infinite trouble in the financial world. While sixteen months may not be a long period for the preservation to sleep, {Equality the order of the day, Milton “One hundred years to |Aires and tramps both historical mon~ EDS come;" }Strosities, Burglars extinct, Poor folks No more we'll die, no more |Unbeard of, oo Strect as well as indoor clothing for men and women uniform, Sex distIn= guished only by colors of garments. € ted. | Both petticoats and long pants abol- now know jished, Legs as universally common and Je adjusted, jrespected as arms, ‘The happy hatless age. Milliners anu millinery no more, Millinery energy of all sorts long ago we'll weep, “One hundred years to come. Birth we Death eliminated. Marriage and d © it unheard of, Race s oe harmony in the case of Mr. Chanler, . Time-wasting a thing of Calling cards, calling costumes and s0- the past. | Mr, Chanler was so harmonious !n} | cial stationery optional, “Lwill be in. |tranumuted inte artistic gardening | for the people and left the impression stead, “You're on my tniniing list, Catt {Street effects. 6 me tp telepathically at trom 4 to 4.05 | Temperance in all things general. P, M, ‘Thursday, Wil reserve enitre | Common sense umversai, Poucemenm time for you. Inharmonious persons | and Jails unknown. Handeu clubs: Fak |eannot communicate; a scientific im- |and uniforms of “the Minest’’ long sin Everybody is tully informed as to the attitude of these elements toward | possibility. Social deceptions eliminated, |gone into oityion, All the vig, tne Gov. Hughes, There is no vast amount of harmony in ‘hat relationship | Phonetic spelling used for all neces-|men busy being happy and selping and not much js likely to appear hereafter. sary or business letters, Superfluities, | others to be so, . such as “Dear sic’ and “Yours truly’ Seg’ | What Mr, Chanigr’s candidacy needs move than anything else 18 con- ; hj dead and gone for decades. Smiles and best ps only eines i t } | 2 Inized as good form in aking. ) wisicing evidence that it is not looked upon more favorably by greed and i pie , Slaughter of animale for food or for | Kissing e men, f any other reason abandoned. No | jgegii j @raft than thai of Ar. ilughes. The present Governor appeals to some-| | butchers’ or grocers’ bills. No cooks. abandoned unthouglite thing more than the Republican party vote. He has instituted reforms | No husbands scolding about dinner not! of, jndividual uso of bruins a sacred on time. No sad wives, No family jars, ace alisha } which are not yet compiete. The Democrat who would defeat him must [eirnithelexeentioncet cocestard Urol enya pe \ ‘i i } @ddress Limseir to something more than partisanship. He too must have! gen 80.) ty the order of the day. Condensed | | i ; < SRRA Lo “ ie et food supply suiticient for one @ programme of reform. Gov. Hughes bas the advantage of Mr, Chanler) NY v/, ith carried in pocket in small flat ip that his record has been established. This is a situation, however, 2 by 3 inch box, A knowledge of how | “yteot me Square Gure | B : ‘ o extract sustenance {1 both water de owe i} vv el s. Which need not iast a day longer than Mr. Chanier so wilis it. | sadibalenccaninen (Onalll | INO UTRTH Revert t eae en Raels Raat 5 Wise advice from Woifert's Roost and Esopus to the Democratic nom- lunches. No indigest No Ume lost. latest hit, “Suppressed i } No energy wasted; by Holan soul ineg would be that be think less of hurmony and more of honor; less of feath. Sulctde und \, nse wear your pale-blue C the bosses and more of the people; less of special interests and more of $i eae n girdle and s with the ge el in alr-ships, Surface tram: about ye orts abandoned with the excep- r hair oraided and coed round y presented to! noiseless, odorless, harm- your head the way I like it. [ am LY LE autos (only recog- | wearing the black and gold sult you Be ne jate waste of time) for are partial to.” § necessary supplies, All freight | (Reply, June 2, 2008, 10.30 A. M. underground or by water, Clty from Sybil Sweetness, of New Yori converted Into a thickly-settled country,| City), This is so sudden, but I'll be a paradise of flowers, grass and shrub- there ON TIME. Please arrange to bery, with simple dustless centre road-/Stay and spend to-morrow over Bay. ways for the suppl but the lau of Fundy with me. We can make the tp before sunrise and spend the day floating over the upper Atlantic. have a new book for us to enjoy titled, ‘What the People of One Hun- ‘ars, No street ster of happy word- less people or the cinging of birds in he trees, All discordant sounds long aince departed ays business first, Iucidentally and f tae dred Years Ago Did in Summer. It's No more unwashed coin or old un- very funny, It is by the new historian, saniiary paper money or bank fatlures. | Erasmus Esperanto Ultra, Thoroughly ste 1 “medium of ex- | change” delivered fresh at door each "Yes | By-by be there PROMPTLY. trusts, the colossal campaigo funds of their enactment. | TO OCOD OOOO DOORN DOOCDCOU OOOO UD UO ODO] Keliections of e Bachelor Cirl § &y helen Rowiand POCO UL CRE On EO OOO OO OD UO): If the chief Derers - s confidence a man has tn his ruling powers ts on an outward show of deference; the to let his women wear the trousers and to a great extreme, which has been @ more he Purk jan't af smoke cigarettes, They have survived the day when The Tushingtons—Mr. Tv. with Bushy Whiskers—Are an Ideal Couple; So Mrs. jarr thinks, But You Should Listen to What Mr. Jarr Says. asked Mr. Jarr, i, because when he craves for coffee it !s a sign that he wants to sinoke, and when he wants to smoke it means he {ts succumbing to the temptation to drink again ve told me all about it,” replied Mrs. Jarr. vas he a hard drinker?” ked Mr, Jarr. 0, 1 do not believe he was, but he seemed to enjoy tt, and so Mrs, Tush- Nowadays no gentleman will stoop to tempt a woman= especially if he can induce her to tempt him and theresy pronounced suspicion that they had snitt the responsibillty, Bailey have lived to meet the thua- The hardest task a mother has Is to teach her child to ye patient with his father se?" Now {8 the time of the year when the lucky ba congratulates himself that nobody ts coming home tu dis- | cover that he spilt ink on the parlor carpet, broke the best coffee pot and left the windows open for the rain to :us By Roy L, McCardell. “ON; that's what L call ag \ Jarr en departed the curtain ra formal call. aera ‘ and then she ington made him give up both coffee and cigars, but he deceived her, an of them?” ae iui ees t i The fly that seeks the sticky flypaper is a wise and intelligent being beside \ “1 think snorted Mr Tinvanventavatmoralliul wath nt the man who makes love simultanously to two girl chums, \ Jarr, “and as b. 1 never saw No said Mrs. Jarr, ‘And I guppose you have noticed how she al-| A woman doesn't object to being Kissed s0 much as she objects to a man nat Was any good.” Mrs abors in b igarette crusad and time again fo a man that wore those bushy w! “You mustn't talk Ike that Tushington 1s famous for her ance; she | her name in t | thinking that she doesn’t object. “But what has ber affection for him to do! Jarr. sald Mr, Jarr. o> mer dissipations?”* ell, you never can trust a man," said Mrs. Jarr. “And the great sorrow that he will drink or smoke !f she doesn't watch him, And {fa man baer | Ther life is Cos Cob Nature Notes. Balnee race +s been smoking who Wears a beard his wife can detest !t when she kisses him. “Did she ever di ke or bet on tho horses? {che Ads he has been smoking she knows he has been drinking.” {t had in its possession fish that had K r ids he has been smoking 2 6. 3 i “Welly she hag Mr. Bushface lashed to the mast, then,*sald Mr. Jarr, with a | on eM CHE teed 3 Feep]ANY communities have spent much time and thought In providing “Did she ever see an ar nteen Or a race?” asked Mr. Jarr. bs TL don’t know," sald Mrs, Jarr; "he has had a severe cold and she ts very | to set the unemployed at work, because of the hard times which sone “Of course not,” sald Mrs. Jarr about It.” ; people lay to Neighbor Theodore Roosevelt over at Oyster Bay, but “Did her husband?” asked Mr. dart. “A man can't Lelp having a cold, and why shouid she be bitter?” asked Mr. which we think belong to Tom Ryan. Neighbor R. never had a hard “He may have,’ sald Jarr; “that's why she makes him wear a jart time in his life, while T. F. R. has had several. We remember when Jar vest ‘Tghe isn't sure It's a cold,” sald Mrs, Jarr, “She thinks he's only pretending |he used to have to borrow cartare back In 1s, and eat at Dennett's, instead an unconscionable time for the sate “That's a new one on me,” sald Mr. Jarr, “What has a beard to do vith 1. nas a cold. and he ts constantly taking medicine with menthol In it, and | of the Lawyers’ Clut, But we wander from the point. What we wanted to say the gay lien iryen he does that she can't tell If he has been smoking, All men are decoltful:”” |is that down here Our Rulers have evolved a simple way out of not working. “T do not know that I should speak ab "said Mrs, Jarr, “but as che” wwhat do the women marry them for then?” asked Mr. Jarr, “and when | If one of our citizens feels the need of exercise he goes and rakes some grivel bonds. Nearly all of our business troubles show sooner or later that the tells everybody in confidence, 1 may as well Her husband used to be a they do why don’t they let them smoke if they want to?” from one side of the road to the other, taking care to cover the oiled spaces, Men deceive them.| *"® "And drink $f they want to, and stay out night after night as they want] and then sends in a bill to the Temporary Selectmen, which they pay as soon as erie ones yet sit 1 cycr sem Chey sel Aree to?” sald Mrs, Jarr bitterly. they can get some one to discount a town note at six per cent., compound Ine modities may be kept In fairly good @earcity and waste. To be fair to the the home. selves with such assets first of all, and eventually they deceive others. Cold storage is a scientific proceas by means of which perishable com.) 2°" @ conservator of supplies, @ regulator of prices and an insurance against bouseman, however, there should be a limit to the storage, and we should, ay that fresh fish sixteen months old had gone about as far as 11 coald | They have found bread {n the ovens of Herculaneum which !s almost 2,000 years old, but it was hardly fit for the table. mates {s edible after many years, but no one prefers {t to a steak or a chop There would be fewer serious commercial mishaps {n almost every Une if housecleaning were carried on as regularly in business as {t ‘s in “Oh, no, he's different now, since she mak the way you "He act. used to drink and smoke before that tim! she can tell !t on him now. Did you notice how she looked at him whe! d coffee and he wouldn't take any?” “Didn't pay any attent * sald Mr. Jarr. “But what of 1?” “Well sald Mrs. Jai gton velleves that a fondness for coffee consumer and profitable to the ware- betokens e@ fondness for st “But I'm on the water-wagon,” sald Mr, Jarr, “and if th feel about It I'll wear whiskers too and look like Mr. Tushington. “Oh, you needn't do that,” sald Mrs. Jarr, “T ike you smooth-faced best.” “Hum,” sald Mr. Jarr to himself, “whiskers as a crime detector is a new one on me, but, then, so is menthol. ou a keep a squirrel on the ground. “Wha e you saying?’ asked Mrs. Jarr. \ “Nothing, only there tf some queer people in the world!" replied Mr. Jarr. By T. S. Allen. terest. It might strike observing people as a loose way to du business, but this |thought does not distress the T. 8, half as much as losing some yotey would, | | Our nelghbor, J. Lincoln Steffens, over at the pleasant place called Riverside, |has been out West Interviewing a gentleman named Debs, who, among others, te lrunning for President, whether he Is wanted to or not, Mr. Steffens described Mr, Debs as a man who knows there 1s something wrong on the Inside of Things and he would be glad to take it out and step on it if he could find it. Incidentally | Mr, S observes gravely: “It may be deemed expedient to hang Mr. Debs some {day, and that wouldn't be so bad, but don’t try to hurt him.” Personally we have never been hanged, but we once caught our neck on a clothesline running through the yard in the dark, and it hurt considerably, If Mr. Steffens has dis- covered a way of hanging a man without hurting anything but his feelings many will be pleased. We have a memory of Mr, Debs as a careless person with matches and dynamite requiring Gen. Miles and seven companies from For Sheridan to subdue, but who cooled off nicely in a penitentiary Word reached Cos Cob the other day that a Democrat {s running for Governor vt Connecticut. Uncle Miah Husted says it's true, Frost grapes are ripe, Frost grapes are sour little blue-black things with vig seeds that hang In long bunches from the vines. Boys and birds like them, Dut rer order for considerable periods. It {s Sun dried meat in some cli MY FATHER SAYS HE WOULDNT VOTE FER DAT MAN HUGHES , NOT EF YOU WAS TER GIVE HIM ER TEN DOLLAR GOLD PIECE ! Letters from Amusement for “Grown Ups.” To the Editor of The Evening World During this reign of play-grounds and ‘the like, why should the people who are not quite old yet be forgotten? ‘elally the young man or young girl who | «works all day, probably sitting down to |“ that work, and who gets little exercise ‘et any time, and Js therefore apt to be- ome cross and horrid and altogether Aisagreeable, and apt, also, to get into stacks of mischief? Now this para- graph {3 more for Jersey, for the subur- Ddanit who read your paper in very large numbers, than for the New York- rs, Almost school in Jersey (anyway, around the Oranges) has a 00d sized gym and auditorium, which fe seldom used at night and which oyid come In very handy to the ing girl and man. There are num Who would certainly appreciate ihe use of same if these young peo- le hing to look forward to in 3 or the like, even ev Hazel nuts are plenty, Cressy Monroe picked a peck up in Joe Cristiano's ot the other day. The hazel nut {s very small and round, and it is done up in 1 big package with prickles on, which stick in your Angers. Cressy's peck was with the wrappings and prickles off, Miamus Hose and Ladder Company No. 1 has raised enough money to buy a gasolla+ squirting machine like one they saw out in Jorsey that can squeese water up to 10 pounds pressure, They think, though, that they will walt and get enough more change to buy an automobile attachment, so the machine can the People. Aw ME FADER NVOULDNT EP EIR QB HM ER 20 DOLLAR GOLD PIECE jthough {!t were only one r » they would mret n compas ns and be t leeh waver if) snough areola ( go itself anywhere it wants to squirt, This will save waking up Byron New- mesa FA GERNEE: abO™ Aik : (BET YER ! man's horses, which Ike as not have just hauled a load of furniture trom there 1s no sane reason w ie =) Haljem, and dop't care much about going to fires, anyway. shouldn't obtain same. It would = sean 4 tn oF fen cent de THE DAY'S GOOD STORIES, flights. ee. are inci the taxes WOULD-BE ATHLE I'd been retained on in this particular Rachel The Busy Allentst. lease Wiedyoene jeut aseisieass ORE I answer your quos- | again.”—Philadelphia Ledger. Te * said the great allenist, mit Lucinda’s Point of View. me to refresh my vice ex memory.” {nation have t n to, B says HEN 1 engaged you, Lucin- Hereupon he consulted a notebook. 4“ ‘i ' they do not. Which is right? ; “May I ask,” resumed the lawyer, da,” said the mistress to her See mue why you found it necessary to consult colored coef, “you sald you Cold Baths Are Good at All Times. some memorandim before answering a | 084 no male friends. Now almost every \ Lilo nuciebe | ae ee simple hypothetical question of only a| time 1 come into the kitchen 1 fing @ vp ts t: ‘ few thousand words?” “Lor sakes,” laughed Lucinda, “he (ed heap dite he fact ts,” replied the allentst, | ain't no male fren’ 9° . ng, in the summer time, “that I did. that to get the| .jhenwho le he the take them throughout the winter? guayely, She f se jet wes id ? aR point of view. I'd forgotten which side — —