The evening world. Newspaper, September 16, 1908, Page 13

_The Evening Won't Somebcdy Ring the Beil on ‘School Days?” By CHARLES DARNTON. HE amall boy who creeps unwillingly to school hew lucky he {s compared with Days" tor “copy.” In glancing over the list of houses. It has e tion It now off A youth named Timberg falls down enough. His spine seems to be as Indestructible as his cericature of a young Hebrew calls for more effective punishment. There 1s no good reason why this ‘Izzy’’ sort of thing should be tolerated, for tt 1s Iit- tle short of @ libel, and it ts far from being funny. Close to the Timberg youth and the centre of the stage 1s Miss Janet Priest in the sweet role of a pickpocket. ought to get six months— not on Broadway. Miss Priest, with the ald of a short-cropped yellow wig and red- stockinged legs that are too large for her height, goes in for being precocious. Somewhere, somehow, she may have got the notion that she is a “character ac- tress." Ah, me, and Oh, my! this tea strange theatrical w gid The only schoolgirl at the Circle who seems to have learned anything worth while is Miss Carolyn Waide— not simplified spelling, as anyone can fee, but a sweetly simple way of sing- ing "Sunbonnet Sue. Miss Walde ydoesn't enter Into the juvenile honors of “School Days.” When the statuesque teacher asks, “Don't you want to go to heaven?” {t ls not she who answers, “With the dead ones?—Naw!" doesn't drink the inkwell dry, and yblotting the lips take pains to remark Everybody seems to be sick in the ool. I'm glad to see the ink well.”” Th have the songs teaches ‘It Takes a © “dancing comes along you are wi ng to | hing to lose and nothing to galn by little pleasantries are left to the bright puplls in the front row. ed them out of Aaron Hoffman's book of kindergarten humor. » to Co hese days doesn’t realize hool the poor critic who hag to gu to " pupils tn Gus Edwards's primary grade “musical play’' at the Circle Theatre, you come across such names as Timberg, Rabino, Aurlmenta, Osmun, Fleasel- trat, Kazermirsky, Weiner, Friedman, Levine, Selleberg, Feltcorn—real names of youths whose school days seem far removed from their stage nights of riot- | ous noise on Upper Broadway. The girls are a mixed race, with Gypsy Mooney and Berenice Faye keeping you guessing as to whether they are Irish, and other maids—some with legs still In their school days and some with legs long since graduated—in dresses shorter than the shortest term in the school calendar. Teacher, may I go out to play? Won't somebody please ring the bel! on “School Days?" But stay, there is at least one lesson to be learned at the Circle; “School Days" sete @ standard for the “musical play''—{t couldn’t be worse, It was bad enough In its vaude- ville Infancy, but now it ts three tim as bad, for {t Is three times as long. Any critic, be he ever so humble, {s in pretty small business trying to square the Circle, but a “knock” in time may save nine, The Circle Thea- tre deserves better things than ‘School Days,” for {t has location tn {ts favor, and with proper direction {t should be- come one of the most popular uptown @ amateurish exhib!- hard several times, but never quite hard urance, His cheap World Daily Magazine, The Million Dollar Kid + + + / Hunt SEND A MILLION VOTING CONTEST, E | OPULAR MAN IN NEW ROCHELLE! HLL BUY A LOP OF PAPERS AND. | HAVE CARRIE VOTE ALL THE COUPONS FOR me} Wednesday, OF THE WORLD UP To THIS ADDRESS ,PLEASE! HURRY 'EM ALONG! | tim = WUE September 1908. By R. W. faylor v9 rn nnn ( fl 16, WHOHOTDOHOTOYOOOTOYOHOGOOGGOS -i- Josephine Nye -:- A Woman Who Is Funny VERY WELLY MR. MONK! By Special Arrangement She Writes Exclusively for The Evening World she prefaces all her really profound as- severations with "My Lord!’ uttered fortiastmo, . Sometimes you #e her in full pano~ ply at the opera or on the board walk, but she Is the belligerent beldame still, the same yesterday, to-day and forever, Now and then she essays to {mper- wonate a real mdy, but at such a time ahe ia very apt to alip and dislocate her vocabulary, and {f you live in the same neighborhood you’ ask for @ refund on your rent, See foot note, She ta never the victim of neuras Sad but True, TS an awful condition of things when you start up In the wee sma’ hours and know) you've got to gat dressed and rush out and procure a half-pound of Joke seed before break- fast, #0 as to get | - eg it before thing#! tenia or paresia, and vou will not find MR MONK TOLD ME TO WeLL, I'LL CO OVER, PHINENYE ave been pewed| ner in the pychopathlo ward. SHE ue hea Rid * over, and thet) wasn TIME! VoT@ ALL THESE COUPONS © THE’ Town HALL maybe lose sleep! Neither will you often find har In sine | FOR THE ONE DP CLIK Ae AND GET MY all the next two or threes weeks for! gis blessedness | A RIZE! IM SURELY, fear the blame things won't sprout. Shi r BEST, So “| 4 b A She usually has appended some apedts. Ty HERE qoESsi! THe WINNER! But One coastal the programme: men trom the matrimonial rogues’ wale - ero Cena OW: gy [Jet who hides behind her valorous per + son, and who having become thoroughly | BELDAMEUS BELLIGEROSO, | $: 4 st if HARDY EVERGREEN. omesticated {s quite harmless and can DOESN'T HE Look GRAND! \You ToLp mi You Know, Ma MONI, i FOR THE ONE J LIKE Best tend the children, do the marketing and, under urgent necessity, sit behind a roiie top desk and suck a cigar which ehe haa, j tenderly selected for him. As the vears roll by he develops @ personality about as forceful and ag luminous as a sweet potato, She wears the belt for gladlatoriag sprowess, but as a wife and mother she {s about as soothing and restful om forked lightning or @ prairie fire. It I remember rightly, she has a daughter named Valerian, Valerian {@ @ family name on the husband's side. If you can get her calmed down she «a very good magnetic healer or ializing medium, But the realm of the subconscious attracts her not at ally, unless It can be worked up Into Blas Habitat, large cities. specimens not fully outline districts, Sporadio and developed tn & To Vote id Secs i CURSES! Leen i SHE VOTED ALL. MRS. 350 THERE Yaw f, MY GOUPONS She heaves Into the car with one of FOR Looe! those captivating baes made of twine. In tt she has 87 parcels, protruding Trom{smuously and presenting a topog- raphy that suegests everything from a | clothes wringer to a full-rieged aero- plane. | This charming I!ctie retioule, in the most cordial manner, bumps the shins |and wabblas Into the laps of her ne bors, honoring alike the magnate of | Wall street and the colored blanchis- seuse de fin. What @ lesson ts hare | for us! She sticks her umbrella between the in the floor of the car so that you have to go out of your way to DOOOOOO0000000OKO 0000; Press A Herman Himberg as Jerzy Levi, They One of and when some energetic t go at that, A few lively songs fur- nish the only pleasant recollections of “Schoo! Days." ‘ | An Ecclesiastical Hat. | MILLINER who works in a large city says that one day a woman jl came into the store very much ex- | elted and wanted the trimming on her Dew hat changed. She sald that {It had | been trimmed on the wrong side, relates “the Youth's Companion. “But,” wald the saleswoman, “the trimming is on the left side. That {s where {t ought to be.” “It doesn't make any difference whether tt ought to be In front or back, or right o rleft, it's got to be on the ehuroh i gasped the astonished “Yes, church side, I sit right next the wall in church, and I'm not going to have all that trimming next the wall. I want it on the other side, s0 the whole congregation can see It.” The trimming was promptly placed on the “church side” of the hat, Not a Nursery. (0 P)EFORE I got this Job I had no {dea so many funny things happened on street cars,” said @ new conductor, according to the Den- ver Post. ‘Every day I eee and hear things that are amusing. For instance, a woman with a baby about two years old boarded my car and rode down- town, When we reached 15th and Call- | fornia she rose to get off. The baby | was tucked snugly {n the corner of the| seat. The woman hesitated tn the aisle. | Say,’ she said to me, ‘I'd like to ask a favor of you.’ | “What 1s 10?) 1 asked, ‘I've got some shopping to do,' she sald. ‘Would you piease take ‘baby around a trip with you? I don’t want im with me. I'll be back when you urn to this corner and take him.’ Madam,’ I replied, ‘I can't take of your baby. Suppose he should ying, as he undoubtedly if gocaness me!’ she could slap him, couldn't you? By-Clarence L. Cullen | Trance No, 3. Author of “Tales of the Ex-Tanks.” we qiss LEVA V BANG UAY,/ dainty 1! tle Biblical eluci: dator of the vau- deville stage whose searching terps!- horean study of Salome has arous- freak of nature, clinging to the outs!de of the oyster’s shell when {t was taken The pearl pleased Miss Banguay weil that she {s going to have a set of Salome anklets made of about twenty-nine more of them, if she ca: Procure them to match exactly in color name by a@ delighted opening sing of Its 8. Trance No. 4. R. BAT HOODWIN, the agile young ante-bellum comedian GS ame ee | and value whose recently exhibited pe ay lon bane ‘The oyster already ts deeply attached chant for almlese ocean ¥ eth poaendeal? Miss Banguay, and {t follows heey aging has been the source of Of a quite. un-| UP and downstairs with the greatest some amusement to his friends, has CLARENCE L CULLEN weua! pet, ‘maginadle Intelligence and affection. become an adept at playing the ancient It 1s sald that Miss Banguay ts now engaged tn teaching the oyster to mark time, which {t does by audibly opening {te shell while she sings her latest nalve little song, “Go Chase Yourself.” When the oyster ts not tagging after Miss Banguay on her daily constitu- tlonala through the Park, it t@ kept in and winsome game of jack. Byvery morniny, for several hours, Mr Hoodwin squats on the rug in the dou- dotr of his hotel suite and’ engages In this juvenile yet absorbing pastime with himself. Mr. Hoodwin has at- tained such profictency at the game that ha can rlace four of the floor Jacks This new tol of the dainty little singer (now pla: her 918th oonseoutive week in the York vaudeville houses) was sent to her by an admirer who ts heavily {n- terested In the pearl fisheries of Ceylon and @ resident of that distant British poasession, It is none other than a pet oyster, ja large bow! hollowed out of s jon the back of his hand while the ‘The oyster was taken from the Gin.| Brazilian crystal, the bowl being kapt|toseed jack ts in the alr. constantly filled with ocean water galese pear] fisheries by a native peal diver, who, by the way, was assimila:ed by a huge shark just three seconds after he had reached the surface of His manager has !t in contemplation brought from Ceylon by special messen- ty challenge any comedian in the world gers, the pet oyster naturally evincing unde; thirty years of age—Mr. Hood- a fondness for sea water from Its own win's approximate age—to a sories of the sea with the remarkable bivalve, part of the world. Miss Banguay has games of handicap jacks. A pear-shaped black pearl, valueq| named the oyster Bertle Bill, and the Mr. Hoodwin plays the clever little at $400,000, was, by some peculiar bivalve responds to her menti of game with a set of jacks presented to =| find it In hunting around for something | | to fall over. But the world ts brutal and unkind, and not once have I ever heard @ man or woman say “Thank | you" for this thoughtfulnes How we j\ do neglect the Titife aruentttes of Nfs, aa the compendiiim’ of #tiquette says, and how we regret afterwards our sllence— our lack of appreciation Now, IT with my own eyes, saw * i woman render such assistance the other | day to @ man who was carrying home, a bag of yreen apples. He just swelled | gents “Hides Behind Her.” | vateky stunts, safd stunts ylelding a wood, brisk dividend, To make a long story short, she ts what the darktes call a hogs in the' canebreak. You all know her. ZODOOOOO0 of Goldfield, from whom oddly enough, [re last vear by @ well-known miner) Mr Hoodwin has since become some at estranged. The tacks ere of radium, heavily|up and grew purple, and I said to my-| ‘here's no block without her. | chased with and embossed in gold, with | self, “Oh, how that man will regret not! Long may she wave! | Mr. Hoodwin's crest on one of the| having spoken. Haw this silence will a | shanks of each. The crest constste of | the hind legs of a heifer argent artist: NOTE. ; shadow his life!’ | If you reside in New York you will But there—I digress. cally arabesqued—naively suggesting | If she wears perfume it's musk, and’ not get your money dack, the beginning of Mr. Hoodwin's theat- i rical ¢ er, When he served as the rece eY, rear si legs of the dancing helfer in i} " H . iangetines? oe ate | Laugh-Provoking Lines. , t ll be of keen Interest to 16 pub- at h lic to know that it was from. Mr, Hood: | 198 ASCUM=I (hought you weren't going to send Marle Mclnnes an win's fon for the game of Jnok Invitation to your party. fiat his heautitul chateau on the OKT r j | Thames, Jacksonville, was named. ALiss Cutting—Oh! 1 decided it wouldn't be right to hurt her feelings | catia that much. Miss Ascum—So you sent her one? Miss Cutting—Yes, but I addressed it to "Miss Mary McGinnis.”—Catholte Standard Times, Trance No. 5, R, JIMMY JOWERS, subtlest | ot the latter-day comedians, | whose recent marvellous de- oe He—Do you remember the night I proposed to you? pletion of a man falling She-Yes, dear. downstairs with three trunks He-You sat for one hour and you never opened your mouth, tumbling after and upon him haw She~Yes, I remember, dear /arousal the admtration of the more He—Ah, that was the happiest hour of my Iife,—Cathollo Miner, profound students of the stage, has te “That was a gilt-edged meal,” exclaimed the diner as he passed A five-cent piece to him who'd on him waited; Just completed a rearrangement of Sir livan's world-famous song, 4 the arrang The latter eyed the coin, and then, in sort of vocal blast ? HD ele ai Replied, "fhe probf proclaims {t nickel-plated,” It mprovem: omposition, = Mr, —Boston Courter, n To 80, A Revelation of New Vork Society -- THE YOUNGER SET -- By Robert W. Chambers, Author of ‘i he Firing Line’ and “A Fighting Chance.” 0Oe @oprright, 1901, by Robert W. Chambers.) SYWOPSIA OF PREVIOUS INSTALMENTS, Capt, Philip Belwyn, whose wife Allxe had him to matey Jack Ruthven, Te turns to New ‘ork to visit his sister and in-law, , and MMi Austin Gerard, Wee tilly sonaisie of a ward, Ellen Bre voll, and four children. Selwyn has loft the eemy. Capt. Belwyn and Elieen ride to-) igs ‘and pase the captain's former wife, lize. -E¥leen is anxious to ask Selwyn about Alixe, but dares not. Elleen's brother, Gerad Erroll, meets Selwyn, The Geavors to make the boy visit his tener and to give up gambling, his former wite mest frequently in society At @ inner party they are accidentally @eated next each other and converse in order te avoid ridicule. Selwyn tells her thelr unhaopiness was more hie fault than hers, but refers slight- fgiy to Ruthven, As he is leaving tho party be sees her step from the door, CHAPTER III, (Continued.) Under the Ashes. HH saw him as he moved back, nodded, passed directly to her brougham, and set. foot on the step. Pausing hero, she looked about her, right and left, then over her shoul- der straight back at Selwyn; and as she stood tm silence, evidently awaiting him, {t became tmposstble for him any onger to misunderstand without a pub- Mo affront to her, When he started toward her she @poke to her maid, and the latter moved aside with a word to the groom im waiting. “My maid will dismiss your carriage,” @he sald, pleasantly, when he halted beside her. “There {s one thing more which § must say to you.” ard might bring to him?—was this the prophecy of his hammering pulses? ‘Please hurry before people come she added, and entered the " he muttered. “I've sent away my maid,” she sald “Nobody has noticed; those are ser vants out there, Will you please come before anybody arriving or departing And, as he did not move: “Are you going to make me conspicuous by this humillation before servants?” He sald something between his teeth and emered the brougham. “Do you know what you've done?” he demanded harshly. "Yes; nothing yet. But you would have done enough to stir this borough '€ you had delayed another second,” “Your maid saw'— “My maid {s my nmald. He leaned back in his corner, gray eyes narrowing. aturally,” he sald, “you are the one to be considered, not the man in the case.” “Thank you. caser’ “There {8 no cas he sald, coolly, “Then why worry about me?” He folded his arma, sullenly at bay; yet had no premonition of what to ex- pect from her. “You were very brutal to me,” she sald at length | “I know {t; and T did not Intend to be. | Are you the man in the The words came." sf at your merey; and showed me Iittle-@ very little at first. | had me does noti¢e?” } over my own signature That ie why, “Please let me; tell Hudson, or I Bhe set ber white-gloved elbow on the) Capt. Belwyn.” will.” window sill and rested her chin in her} And as he remained atlent: “That | “You are very kind,” he maid; and palm. what I had to say; not all—because—| Save the order. “That—money,” she said with an|I wish to—to thank you for offering it.| Silence grew between them like a wall. effort, “You set—some—aside for me.” |* * * You did not have very muoh, | She lay back in her corner, ewathed “Halt,” he nodded calmly. ether, and you divided what you had |‘? the eyes in her white furs; he in his “why? So I thank you—and I return it.” ¢¢ ¢| COMMer sat upright, arms loosely folded, He was silent. |The tension forced her to attempt «| tring ahead at nothing, After « ‘Why? I did not ask for tt? There laugh. "So we stand once more on) While he rubbed the moisture from the was nothing n the-the legal pro- equal terma; unless you have anything Pane again. ceedings to lead you to believe that I of mine to return— prulcuaeiren Det la He omUm cay desired it, was there?” | "I have your photograph,” he pee UF peetly &S Hone Mere Fle “No. The silence lasted until he stralght- | te ath logs eater ny eee tha “Well, then,” her breath came un- | ¢ned up and, rubbing the fog from tne | 8", S eet ee re steadily, “what was there in me to | window glass, looked out, “Very rei ciy Ltt) sdftane secs make you think I would accept itr” | “We are in the park,” he remarked. | ing Ana a moment later: “Will you He did not reply. Sarma to Were pers Jee me something? * * * You see," “Answer me. This is the time to! “Yes, I did not know how long !t answer me.” - might take to explain matters, eivk with eelf-contempi, I tell you.” with @ forced laugh, “I can't keep my You aro) mind—trom it." “The answer !s simple enough.” he | free of me now whenever you wish." “From what?” he asked. said in a low volo Together we |, He picked up the telephone, hesitated: | The tragedy; ours had made a failure of partnership. | “ome?” he Inqulred with an effort.) tt how omased to be that; hasn't And at the forgotten word they looked | i¢ at one another in stricken etlence, Hable R? You saldcyoulesid w-what I did to you was n-not rible as what I d-did to myself.” “That is true,” he admitted, grimly, When that partnership was dissolved there remained the joint capital to be | {one at ivided. And I divided !t. Why not?” | | Y-yes; to your omg first, {f you will) “That capital was yours in the bo- | '@ me drop you there ginning; not nine, What I had of my | iar you; that might be {mpru- that a ter- own you never controlled; and I took “Well, then, may I ask my ques- it with me when I went. | "No, I think not. You say you aro! tion “It was very little,” he said | tying at the Gererdst | “Ask it, chilay’ “What of that? Did that concen you?) “Ye®. temporarily. But I've already| ‘“Then—are you happy?” Did you think I would have accepted ‘ken another place.” | He did not answer. anything from you? A thousand times| “Where? | “Because I desire it, Philip, I want I have been on the point of notifying| “Oh, {t's only a bachelor’s kennel—|¥ou to be. You will ba won't I you through attorney that the deposit @ couple of roor did not dream that I was ru now standing in my name is at your “Where, please army career when f—w n disporal.” “Near Lexington and Sixty-sixth, [| “How did it happei he ‘Why didn't you notify me, then?” he could go t's only panily far-| asked, with a Rsioalt- Tha al asked, reddening to the temples hed ner. “How did !t come atext?. “Recause—I did not wish to hurt you n tell Hudson to drive there.’ | wretched as we seemed to be together Afterward, none.” MORE MY ors ga” pasemnentaair-n) kK you, but it le pot neges-|—unhappy, incapable of understanding —by doing it that way. * ° * And I Bad Rak HbA commen ta MR . / Belwyn looked at her gravely, and stg looked him very steadily mm the eyes, “Before I go—may I say one more “Phill ‘There were days”— derstand. I, the architect of our fu- He raised his eyes. | ture—failed.” “You speak only of the unhappy] tt was woree then that, Phil; we” ones,” she eal; “but there were m0-|_gn9 looked bilndly at him-we had| TOM?" he asked gently. Crt sae eee yet to learn what love might be, wel . xee-it you please, Is & about Gaps area wit, And oo I ask vou! aig not know. * * * If we could ae heal les Maven Cues are gh eS ES ey Gees You saw the signavure on that cheokf* “Phil, I don't know. There was that | pecause there were moments’—— She ; “Yes, Phil.” last bitter quarrelthe night you left) qushed crimson. lennenyou d Nepen't ie kee for Layio after the dance, #** Ill] couig not make you love me" be| do fe again.” iain all grew suddenly tntolerable, = YOu) ated; I did not know how.” “No. And—Philt"’ seemed so horribly unreal—everything | yee. Jou yourself had not | “What?” seemed unreal in that ghastly clty— you, I, our marriage of crazy {mpulse— the people, the sunlight, the deathly | “That check sis deposited to your credit—with the rest. I have never dreamed of using !t."’ Her cheeks were |learned how. But—at times—now look- ing back to {tI think—I think we were very near to it—at moments, odors, the tort. « tle) art ¢¢ © And then that dreadful dream | a tenis, He with shane ae the punkha. * wae - Ou “You will have to aocept {t, Alixe,” st-of love, of anger, of hate, I ee ee ty Cots 0 Aud ie exanel aa you I was stunned—I had no emo | then—the en “You mu! Don't you see you will Hons concerning you or myaelt—after| ‘If you could have held out.” he) gtront Gerald? He hes repaid mep last scene—only a stupefied, blind | breathed; ‘4f T could have helped! It) that check ts not mine, nor fs it his.” ssity to get away; @ groping in-| was [ who falled you after all!” | "I can'e take it,” sald with & + to move toward home-to make| For a long while they sat in stlence; | wudder. “What shall I do with it?” ny way home and da rid forever of the Mrs, Ruthven's white furs now cov-| “There are ways—hospitals, if you sam that drugged me! ¢** And ered her face. At last the carriage|care to. * * * Good-night, child.” y—and then"”— rtopped. She stretched out her gloved arn to ‘He came,” said Selwyn very auletly. | ‘Aa he aprang to the curb he beonme | him; he took her hend very gently and igs aa Jaware of another vehicle standing In| Fetamed It while he spoke, ; Bibate had nothing more to say, | Front of the houseca eab—erom which! (0 Win you happiness,” be, eald; « your forgtveness, ‘Give me ming, Men.” “Yes—If there {s anything to furgive, Mrs, Ruth maid deecended. “What ts she doing here?’ he asked, | | “Alixe!’ losing her eyes. | Dok her head le girl!—o! » girl!” he eald | turning in astonishment to Mra, Ruth- | good-night.” 8 the old ar phrase finding | yen “Qood-night—boy,” she gasped. {ts own way to his Upe—and she) pi” phe sald in a low votce, “I He turned sharply, quivering under trembled slightly; “was there no other xnow you had taken this place, Gerald the familiar name. Her maid, standing way but that? Ha fage made 414 me, Forgive me when I saw in the snow, moved forward, and he 8 world su R ye 1 der the a came to m h nter the brougham, aut sf ediat f x at a flash what And I've done T ed.) nth, H ake | °° ¢ Are gory?’ _- ——e-- — Y \ . ably tnad: No, ## # Did Gerald teit you that Sunday World Wants Work equate to design anyt better for| I had taken this place? r, Vue E Aldo’ know bow. I didn't uo! “Keay fj aaked bi." ‘Monday Morning Wondera,