The evening world. Newspaper, September 14, 1908, Page 13

2000000000000000000000; OW comes N the. time when every- thing in the shape of an educational Institution that can be made to hold together, and prop up a sign, will soon be run- ning full blast, it's @ wonder to me that Hamlet doesn't drop down here, and start another Dramatic Behool, just to show “to what base uses we may return.” B'death! I can see him, now, before his class, » Working off the old “trippingly” stunt, and then getting Horatio to give him hypodermic—atween times—to keep “Antle Disposition” trom losing contract. Ophelia could, of course, run the ypewriter and answer the telephone, but Ham's mother would have to put up the money for the start off. No more charming picture can be fmagined than that of Ophelia, with a nice, fresh, wreath in her hair, every day, making carbon copies of the les- the rescue and giving the lessons In Ophelia at the Typewriter. Delsarte, in case the regular teacher e'phould fat! to show up. " 4 As dean, Polonius would surely take ? the blue rfbbor, and he could pull off a ‘ baccalaureate address with the best of a tem However, as a preceptor for young -:- Josephine Nye -:- A Woman Who Is Funny By Special Arrangement She Writes Exclusively tor The Evening World fons for aspiring pupils or coming to} The Evening World Daily Magazine, Monda OOO The Educational Uprising. and toothsome New Yorkers, one feels a little shy in recommending @ man like Hamlet, who ao deliberately, #0 brazen- ly, encouraged inebriety. Think of his | Saying to Horatio, “We'll teach you to | drink deep ere you depart.” Consider how he took advantage of Horatio’s |Overwrought condition when he had | Just been exposed to the night alr and They Cut ‘heir Teeth on It. to malaria, and perhaps, even then, was HEY GIMME HES BRALGIN' BouT HIS OLD FAMILY AGING Family Pride ae September — 14, 1908) By T. S. Allen MY FATHERS QRUNK SO MUCH WHISKEY DAT DE DOCTOR SAYS HEAINT Gor HARDLY ANY UNING To His STUMMICK LEFT! HAW, | BET MW FATHER AINT COT ANY LEFT { SOOOVES : FLICKER- ING nimbus as of long- Worrled about his gas bill. | The proffer of @ hot water bottle and | some pain-killer would have been much | more the part of a true friend. What do you suppose a man like Mul- doon would have done with Hamlet? I reckon that If there was a red corpuascle in his princely insides Muldoon would have found {t and worked It overtime. But woe's me! What COULD we ever have done without the Soliloquy? Think of the real actors who cut thelr | teeth on it, Think of the would-be STARS wha have walked the floor, with | their hegdu tled up in @ wet towel, bound and determined, live or die, to be letter perfect In the “pangs,” and tho | Insolence,” and the “whips and corns," and the “despised love,” and ‘things that way,” as the old woman | | gown in Martell used to say. | Think of those who have been willing \to squeeze along on borrowed money— | even if mother borrowed it on the fur. niture—and those who were willing to | SLAVE, SLAVE, SLAVE for the sake | of their ART, and then have graduated [into real nice capable shoe salesmen and ad. solicitors. | We MUST learn to be more grateful, ' Honest—we MUST. Betty Vince , | An Afternoon Wedding. © = Dear Betty: \ | AM going to be best man at a wed- | ding which is to be held at 6.80 P. ' M. on a Sunday. I would Ike to| know what it is proper to wear, E. A D, The proper dress for a wedding which takes place any time before 6 P. M. Is @ frock coat, gray ascot tle, high stand- bead up collar, white waistcoat, gray trous- ‘rs, patent leather shoes and gray } gloves. | | He Admires a Widow. | Dear Betty: | FEW days ago I met a young wid- ] ow whom I should very much like to meet again, Would you kindly tell me the best way to make engage- ments with ladies, being a bachelor who never bothered very much with” ‘U0000000000000000000000000 on Courtship «nd Marriage DODODOODODOOODDOOIOO”, nt’s Advice |irls, Would {t be advisable to call/ on or write to the widow? ADMIRER. If you see the widow soon again ask her if you may call. If you think you are not likely to meet in the future, write her a note asking if you may call, as you would like to continue the acquaintance, He Proposed. Dear Betty: YOUNG man of twenty-two has proposed to me, I am nineteen, ll I like this young man when he is away from me, but I just don’t care for him when he ‘s near me, What shall I do? x. ¥. Z Hvidently absence makes your heart grow fonder, but if you don't care for the young man when he !s with you I advise you not to accept him, Be- sides, you are entirely too young for matrimony A (Copyright, 1907, by Robert W. Chambers.) @YNOPSIS OF PREVIOUS INSTALMENTS. Gaol, Phiuip Selwyn, whose wife Alize had vorcea. him to marry ui Ie to visit his slater ‘a Mrs, Geral & ward, Bileen Selwyn has lett the Selwyn and Ellen ride to- pass the Captain's former wife, ixe, He {s overcome, Elleen (s anxious ask Selwyn about Alize, but dare not, 8 w meets George, Fane. They go 8 the “ub, ‘where Ellen's brother, Gerald Erroll, meats Selwyn, 1 latter endeavors. to q make the doy visit hle sister oftener and to ve up gambling. Selwyn and his former ite mieet frequently in society, : CHAPTER III. | i Continued.) Under the Ashes. EAR Capt. Selwyn,’ she wheezed over the telephone, “Tm short one man, and we 8 and It's that now. Could you It's the rich and yellow, this time, but you won't mind, will you?” Belwyn, standing at the lower tele- | phone in the hail, asked her to hold the wire @ moment, and glanced up at | his sister, who was descending the ;} stairs with Eileen, dinner having at that Inetant been announced. “Mrs, 'T. West Minster—fiying signals of distress,” he sald, carefully cover- ther ani evelation of New York Society the original old dog Tray. Whistle, and I come padding up. Ever faithful, you se,” And he uncovered the transmitter and explained to Mrs, T, West Minster his absurd delight at belng whistled at. ‘Then he sent fora cab and sauntered into the dining-room, where he was re ceived In undisguised hostility, “She's ‘been civil to me,” ho sald; ‘Jeunesse oblige, you know. And that's why l’— “There'll be @ lot of debutantes there! What do you want to go for, you cradle robber!” protested Austin—' lot of water-bibbing, olive-eating, talcum- powdered infants.” Eileen straightened up stiffly, and Selwyn’s teasing smile and his offered hand in adieu completed her indigna- tion, “Oh, good-by! No, I won't shake hands, There's your cab now, I wish you'd take Austin, too; Nina and I are tired of dining with the prematurely aged.” “Indeed, we are,” sald Mrs, Gerard; “go to your club, Austin, and give me a chance to telephone to somebody un- der the anaesthetic age.” Selwyn departed, laughing, but he yawned in his cab all the way to Fifty- third street, where he entered in the gone “better ays’ still enfolds this one, His {8 a sublimated case of the shabby gen- teel. Like most shabby —genteels, he harps upon the iistant time when he world swam in = rose for him, He CLARENCE LCULLEN would have you belleve him to be a thoroughbred, but he !s none; for your true-blue reduced thoroughbred walks his shrunken world with never an adversion, complaining or other, to the dimming time when he “had It." knows The Tonloftical Toucher that A Case of Shabby Genteel. you remember the period when he was cutting his ostentatious swath with in- herited money; and this, to his warped view, {8 more than a sufficient reason why you should aid him in his self- wrought but querulous indigence—even though you never were a benefictary of his former opulence to the extent of a cigar, Always, when he meets you, he has a bone to pick with Fate, and he makes you the intermediary of his re- pinings. The duologue usually runs about as follows: He—'D'evening. How dot Hurrying along? Always busy, aren't you? Eheu! Wish I had something to do—some:hing fitting, you know, You—— He—But see here, now, old man, you wouldn't have me go to work moving pianos or motoring a street car or han- WODHDOHPODHDOD@OGDOGDGHOODIDOOS WOOO The “Touch” Toploftical : OWDDDDODOHGHAN NO, 9 OF By C 8 THE SERIES. 8 3 TOWPWOE DHGGOOOOOOOOSS dling @ cotton hook on the docks, would brought up the way I was, with every you? After what I've had? [right to expect that there'd never be You— ;&n end to the money and the luxury He—Oh, yes, I know that stuff about/and all that. It's easy enough for the dignity of work and all that copy- fellows that never had anything to book rot. But vou can’t understand accept the harpoons of mischance and what it means to ‘ve had everything,| impecuniosity as they whiz along, but you know—all kinds of money In both| It's a different matter, I’m tellffig you, hands, and never a dream of any other When a chap that was brought up with state of things—and then, pouf! to have| everything fine im life gets the uppercut the wind blow it all away like those| from the mailed fist of Destiny. wind-blown things Villon wrote about,| You— ‘Member what Villon wrote? | He—Who's using fine,’ sentimental You— | phrases? Mo? Now, I call that un- He—Well, that's a hot barb, I must! kind of you, old fellow; 1 surely do. say—"Forget Villon and get down to| 1 am only endeavoring to portray what cases." Oh, well, I can’t expect people,| I have been and still am up against. I suppose, to understand my case, Per-| Helgh-ho! It's my own fault, though. haps it's unreasonable to hope for such| fof expecting anybody to understand consideration. That's the trouble about | Just how I am fixed. the social system in this country. When| You— a man suffers a big come-down, why,| He~Of course I am merely drifting nobody remembers or wants to remem-| *!0n® with the tide. What else can I ber his up state, and the world rung|%°? 1 can't become a White Wings, over him as it he were mud. Deucei| 1 can't keen books. 1, can't paint. humiliating state of things for a gang eeu act, or anything like that. My | | | | folks never save me a profession be- sitive man to put up with, I can tell! cause there never seemed the remotest YOUN RAtr ela man: Mkellhood that I'@ ever need one, Of you course I'm only drifting. And It’s He—-Oh, I know all that airy talk| deucedly uncomfortable drifting, too, I about being game and bucking up and|can assure you of that. putting on @ square jaw against the| You— Auvellns of adversity and all that,| He—Oh, well, what's the use of talk- But that stuff doesn't apply to people] !ng about it? I don’t see any way out arence LL. Cullen OO. CICOMOOODOGSIVE myself, Iam glad I met you, though, for I am going to ask you to do some- thing for me. You fully apprehend, I know, how mortifying {t !s for me to ask anything of anybody. But you were on my list of acquaintances in the days when the very thought of my ever being compelled to seek @ monetary fa- vor’ would have been ludicrous, and therefore I feel that you will under- stand, I have an aged aunt up the State who !3 now In a very low state of health, and, in case anything hap- pens to her, I feel fairly confident that I shall come in for quite @ little legacy. Until then—well, old man, you must know what confidence I repose in you when I acknowledge such a thing, but, positively, I am in most acute diffi- BOOOO culties for the mere means of living, &o, and— &o, &c., oocon A WIDOW WORDALOG Masculine Taste in Feminine Frills By Helen Rowland, OMB with|knows what an artist has put tnto a me,” said | painting, but he can tell a well-dressed iG the Widow | woman from a trump as quickly ag he mysteriously, lead- |can tell a real picture from a daub, ing the Bachelor) 20 you fancy women powder their toward the walt-|"oses and peroxide thetr hair merely Ing hansom, “and|ter the pleasure of dabbling «in hemlcals? Do you imagine they wear * you th I'l show you the) corsets, and French heels merely greatest Invention |‘ (ti jbecause they are pining for indiges “hat is stv {tion and a pain in the sdet Do you | suppose’. demences ee "L hadn't eupposed anything about " . broke In the Baohelor desperately, suspiciously. = j"But, tf you make éarly Christian | ‘The ‘latest tri) areyrs of yourselves In order to umph of Whale! fascinate us, you are wasting your | Done and steel,” responded the Widow, lume, A man doesn't respect nor ad- waving her violet parasol dramatically mire a woman that ty gotten up lke as she gently pushed him taward the/ing third aot of @ comfo operm hansom, “The newest things in fgures| ojoms,' and fashions, I'm going to the Dre: “Who wants to be respected and ad> makers’ Convention!'’ mired—and left at home?” demanded, “But I don't want to be shooked,"|the Widow scornfully, “Who wants to complained the Bachelor, squirming in his side of the hansom. “And I'm not interested in inquisitions, nor instru- | ments of torture, nor human euffering, no monomania, nor’'— be @ ni are ar! ydest violet, when all the men 1 the corner chasing chrye- and oreiids? If women ane and artificial and useless, t made them 80, No, volous, men who “In what, Mr. Trave: woman Is g to spend her days in "In the ridiculous fashions of wom-| (io pursi tue and economy and | en,” explained the Bachelor bluntly, the cook book while you are spend- | “It's the ridiculous taste of men that! ing yours In the pursult of some \{nspires them,” retorted the Widow| tow litt! ing who doesn't know | tartly. A om from an egg beater and, “Nonsense! protested the Bachelor,| Wouldu’t know what to do with @ “No man admires a human work ofjscruple if sae had one, but who knows jart, nor @ forest of false hair, nor aj how to wear her hats and’— figure that works on springs, nor’— “Oh, well,” broke t the Bachelor “Bill -avetét” Exetatmed the Widow. “Of course you don’t,” put in the desperately. “Tf we men are that kind, Widow sympathetically, “on principle. why do you care’— Theoretically you don’t anprove of| . “You're the only kind there ts," sighed rouge, nor dyed hair, nor peek-a-boo} the Widow. “And—and here we ara!” watsts, nor sheath gowns, nor—nor §a-| ‘Where are they?’ demanded the lome; but when {!t comes to practice| Bachelor, glancing eagerly round, aa the TACKKNIFE-KNIFE # ALCOVE Perhaps You spond, Whereupon, of course, it 1s up to you. Perhaps you respond, and then, again, perhaps otherwise. It all depends upon the condition of your Iver and upon Whether you are able to take a toler- ant view of the repinings of a oritter who insists upon dodging the old bat- tle and ret ning a mollusc, Fooling With Idioms, FORWIGNBR, meeting an Amert- can friend, sald to him: “How are you?", The latter replied: | “Out of stant.” \ The man considered this very clever, land decided to use the expression on the next occaston. Shortly after he was met py a friend, who asked: “How are you?” With visible pride he answered; “You don’t see me, -- THE YOUNGER SET -- through @ great deal of noise and some} wondering how best to avoid anything ;lap—the horrid little poodle!|—always Spanish music, which seemed to aquirt) through a thicket of palms and bespat- ter everybody. “Wonderful musto!” observed his din- ner partner, with singular originality; “so Uke ‘Carmen.’" “Is it?" he replied, and took her away at @ nod from his hostess, whose Qaughter Dorothy leaned forward from her partner's arm at the same moment and whispered: ‘I must speak to You, mamma! You can’t put Capt, Selwyn here beecause’’— But her mother was deaf and smiling- ly sensitive about it, 80 she merely guessed what reply her child expected: “It's all settled, dear; Capt. Selwyn ar- rived @ moment @go." And she closed the file, It was already too late, anyhow, and presently, turning to see who was seated on his left, Selwyn found himself gaz- ing into the calm, flushed face of Alixe Ruthven, It was thelr third encounter. ‘They exchanged a dazed nod of recog- nition, @ meaningless murmur, and turned again, apparently undisturbed, to their tespective dinner partners, A great many curious eyes, lingering on them, shifted elsewhere, in reluctant disappointment. As for the hostess, she had, for one instant, come as near to passing heav- | ing the transmitter as he spoke; ‘man overboard, and wil) I kindly take a turn at the wheel?" | “What a shame!” sald Eileen; “you ) @re going to spoll the frst home dinner we have had together in weeks!" “Tell her to get some yellow pup!” @rowled Austin, from above, ait though anybody could get a. yel- | pt. aa they whistle,” sald Nina “Bhat's rug” acétes Gelwya; “Tm wake of the usual laggards and, sur- rendering hat and coat in the cloak room, picked up the small, alim envel- ope bearing his nante, The card within disclosed the informa- tion that he was to take in Mra. Some- body-or-Other; he made his way through & great many people, found nis hostess, backed off, stood on one leg for @ moment like @ reflective water fowl, then found Mre Somebody-or- Other and was adecntiy goed to her i that might resemble a situation, Instead of two or three dozen small) tables, scattered among the palma of the winter garden, thelr hostess had preferred to construct @ greal oval board around the aquarium. The ar- rangement made it a little easier for Selwyn and --re. Ruthven. He talked to his dinner partner until she began to respond in menosyllables, which closed each subject that he opened and wearied him és much as he was boring her, But Bradley Harmon, the man on her right, evidently had better for- tune; and presently Selwyn found him- self with nobody to talk to, which came ag near to embarrassing him as any- thing could, and which so enraged his hostess that she struck his partner's name from her lisis forever. People were already glancing at him askance in sly amusement or cold curiosity. Then he did a thing which endeared him to Mrs. T. West Minster and to her two disconsolate chi.4nén, | “Mrs, Ruthven,” he sald, very natur-| ened her slim figure and turned; but nis, of conspicuous silence, or of r curled up on the edge of your skirt!” She stared at Mis. Ruthven acrose the crystal reservoir brimming with Tose and ivory tinted waterlilies, “That girl 1s marked for destruction,” she gald slowly; “the gods have done thelr work already,” But whatever Alixe had been, what- ever sho now was, she showed to her little world only pale brunette sym- metry—a stran; ind changeless lustre, varying as little as the moon's phase and lke that burnt-out planet, reflect- ing any flame that flared untll her clear, young beauty seemed pulsating with the promise of hidden fire, Selwyn, outwardly amiable and for- nral, was saying in a low voce: "My dinner partner 1s quite impossible, you see; and I happen to be here as a filler in—commanded te tne presence only a few minutes ago. It's & pardonable er- ror; I bear no malice, But I'm sorry | for you." There was a silence; Alixe straight- “T will if Ican, What am I to say?” ‘Have you nothing to say?’ she asked, smiling; “it need not be very civil, you know-as long as nobedy hears you.” To achool his features for the decep- tion of others, to school his voice and manner and at the same time look smilingly into the grave of his youth and hope called for the sort of self- Jcommand foreign to his character. |Glancing at him under her smoothly fitted mask of amlability, she slowly grew afraid of the asltuation—but not of her ability to sustain her own part. | They exchanged a few meaningless phrases, then she resolutely took young away from Rosamund Fane, s Selwyn to count the bubbles wine glass, in a few moments, whether by nt or deliberate design, Rosa- rund interfered again, and Mrs. Ruth- n was confronted with the chotce of a squabble for possession of young In- ally and pleasantly, “I think perhap# young Innis, who had taken her in, had suming once more with Selwyn. And we had better talk for a mement °F become confidential with Mrs, Fane. Ag | she chose the last resort. two—-if yeu don’t mind.’ She said quietly, “I don’t mind,” and turned with charming composure, |for Selwyn's partner, she probably di- vined his conversational designs on her, | but she merely turned her bare shoul- You are living In town?” ahe asked pleasantly. | "Yes" I met & man {t's always the girl with the pink chin and the butter-colored hair and the openwork stockings and the handmade figure that you furn around in the street to etare after.’ ‘ | ‘I don't!" declared the Bachelor, “And the woman who rustles I!ke a windstorm'and leaves a path of pat- chou] behind her to whom you are coining for an introduction.” strength of mind and breadth of char- acter, that attracts a man. Theoretically vou admire flat heels and vhysteal oul- ture and sweet simplicity and. beautles introduce her husband to: {t's the kind |with high heels and a straight front fig- ure and Paquin owns.” “And yet, sighed the Bachelor, “T don't know a $# hat from a $4 one, nor chiffon from calico print.” “No man does,” agreed the Widow soothingly. "No man knows what a | Widow led him Into a room full of wire manniking draped !n tmported gowns, “Where are what, Mr, Travers.’ “The—the inventions?” y “I don’t know what you are talking about.” " “The triumphs i whalebone and» ‘The Widew wrinkled her brows ques tioningly, 3 “It's false!” orled the Bachelor tn-|. “The models,” ex: ‘1tned the Bachelor, dignantly. "The live ones.” “Of course it's false,” accufesced the! “Billy ‘Traverst” exclaimed the’ Whiow, quite unruffled, “but {t's fem-/ Widow, “Dk you think I would inine. Ruffles and ourls and lace and] bring you here when there wha a! perfumes are the Insignia of femininity | demonstration going on? Did your and {t's a woman's femininity, not her! think you were going te see live models?” “I knew I was going to be shocked,” , grumbled the Bachelor bttterly, “but I didn't know it would be such 8 soak" the oul and dote on a irl with! “A shock?” Inquired the Widow, bf d Jes, but th “Ot disappointment,” — sighed heb {eats and principles. but that| (Of | disappointment,” . . isentangle fen't the kind a woman hesitates to) fromthe folds ‘at 4 inane coe ae e wire mannikin and tripped over a white lave train in his endeavor to escape, —_——~.—- The Theatre Goers, N New York the theatres have seating capacity of 1 comes London with 1% | woman has on any moro than he takes third place with 9,31. £00-940404409060000O00009480960464004 By Robert W. Chambers, Author of ‘‘The Firing Line’ and “A Fighting Chance.” man was ‘Boots’ Lansing.” “Bovtal’ Here!’ | “Arrived from Manila Sunday, Sans gene as usual, he introduced you as the subject, and told me—oh, dogons of| things about you. I suppose he began} Inquiring for you before he crossed the troopers’ gangplank; and somebody sent him to Neergard & Co, Haven't you seen him?” “No,” be sald, staring at the brilliant fish which glided alone the crystal tank goggling their eyes at the Iights, “You~you are living with the Gerards, where.” Co." “Do you suppose I could have re- |matned tn the service?” ho demanded | His volce was dry and almost accent less “You may answer that que: yknow you are scowling? These people here are ready to laugh; and I'd much prefer that they tear us to rags on sus- picion of our over-friendliness.” “Who {# that fool worman who {# mo- nopolizing your partner?’ “Rosamund Fane; she's dolng {t on Purpose. You must try to smile now and then,” . My face ts stiff with grinning,” he said, “but I'll de what I can for you"— t “Please include yoursalf, too.” ’ “Oh, I can stand thetr opinions,” ne I believe,” she sald carelessly. j#ald; “I only meet the yellow sort oo “For a while.” |castonally; I don’t herd with them.” “Oh, ‘Boots’ says that he Js expecting sr Go thank you.” $2 TOS6 GH aperineMe wilh 7OU-POMP | icetow 48 you. ike than?” Gal ae “What! Has ‘Boots’ resigned?" lon of the yellow set? Hore y "Bo he says, He told mo that you) y/ vs a Ye pene zor had resigned, I did not understand ii. tr ote the Orchile thy woe that; I imagined you were here on ata Crete area yet |teave until I heard about Neergard & # lady, the Lawns of Westlawn en dellberately—“and Ruth I forgot, Alixa, Dw pertestly equipped tg the golden hod.” ens. she suld, drawing @ deep but the fixed smile never al- Every eye ehifted to them, then obeyed | der a trifte more unmistakably and con- | “Of cours I forgot. decency or training, and the slightes tinued her gossip with Bradley Harmon, | jagt night who sald you had entered enward as she could without doing it | preak in the gay tumult was closed up| Allxe broke @ tiny morsel from her when she discovered the situation. Then she accepted it with true humor. She could efford to. But her daughters, Shella and Dorothy, suffered acutely, delng of this year’s output and mar. tyra to responsibility, Megnwhile, Selwyn, grimly aware of an «jeident somewhere, and perfectly conscious of the feelings which must Ww tie time dominate bis estes, wee ing to scramble inte Rosamund Fane's with chatter and laughter, | “Plucky,” ead Sandon Craig to niy| reads sensible of the tension. fair neighbor; “but by what chance did| “I suppose," she sald, as though re- our unfortunate hostess do it?’ | q “ghe's usually doing {t, Isn't shet|musing dit of gossip—that we are What occupies me," returned his part-| destined to this sort of thing occasion-; “Please don't terminate so abruptly ner, “ls how on earth Alixe sould have/élly and had better get used to it.” the few subjects we have in reserve, | thrown away that adorable man for! ‘I suppose so.” We may be obliged to talk to each | Jack Ruthven. Why, he is already try-/ “Please,” she added, after @ pause, other for 4 number of minutes if Rosa- “eld me o ita” \ mound dosen't let ug alone, * * * The parereiye ent sno | the firm of Neergard & Co,” “| have. Who was the man?’ “You can never guess, Captain Sel- jelting to some new acquaintance aa! wyn.”’ "I don't want to, Who was he?” | pleasantly than I can.” oan talk, . J | She usually avoided champagne; but can't, Take that | to do something for h Yano as goon as now. As for him, he joftered without noticing ¥ jand grew whiter and w must goon, Task r 4 to y this thing through, w gradua ared e on her cheeks; courage, tmpa 4 t sudden anger at the forced conditions steadied her nerves “Will y ve equal to the ; wu please | steuatiea she sa but wit} @ charming amile der her breath, “De you