The evening world. Newspaper, August 1, 1908, Page 8

eye ’ ‘The Evening World Daily Magazine, 7! (Twelve Men Che eS c Who Give Up} Published Daily Bxcept Sunday by t pt i P Park Tow, New ; AG ake a ae ' Seats mn Cars 3 1 bis ; Ue ED EI RSE SS BOBCAT ed toy To Women. Saturday, Aug TBOODHOWDOOMDOODOOGOOHS 2Q Iusbands -t-. All of Them More or Less Undesirable, a Going Away [rom Here. » Presa Pirbiiehing Company, Nos JOBREN PULITZER, Pon. (Fat d-Class Mall Matte w Yor ered at the Post-Offe Bubsertition ing | F 1 alee % : 3 , ism, bbl ’ be sian Van Walltes | By Nixola Greeley-Smith One Month or! On BY) RST—The man who respects him- ‘ self too much to ait while any woman remains standing, 2ND—The man whose heart: :Ings are too numerous to permit him to remain seated when faty ladies are in distress. The spontaneous ylelder. THIRD—The smiling, apparently afta- ble man, who gives up his seat grace VOLUME No, 20—The Husband With No Faults at All. { He pondered the failings of nineteen varieties | DEATH AVENUE—A VESTED RIGHT. z LEVENTH AVENUE is cullad Death Avenue because th York Cen- of undesirable husbands, we have reached the most exasperating type of the twenty—the Huse band With No Faults at All, The man without faults 1s also without virtues, ex- tral trains have fully, but who thinks things (bat he | cept of the uninteresting oatmeal varlety, Living with Desh ii would not venture to say, | slaughterhouse. FOURTH—The fatherly, "good old and milk would be. If you happen to be his wife your spirit chokes on the exasperating sameness of his per- fection, You feel as you did when you were a little girl and your music teacher compelled you unceasingly to play exercises when you wanted to learn a dreamy, sen- timental, easy waltz. The Husband With No Faults at All's as Interesting as one of thase exercises whieh you would have to play over and soul" of a man who wants to be kind | and succeeds, God bless h!m! | | FIFTH—The large-minded, — large- | Souled {dealist who prefers to stand for all womankind rather than fall below his own ideal of a gentloman. SIXTH—The man whose reverence for Wealth and art are about equally di- | ted. He rolingiahes bis seat giadly.| to elther a fashionably dressed or $i him {3 ebout as inspiriting as a perpetual diet of mush | f the killing in the nearby abattoirs | f less than a month old. In n slaughterhouse there is Less protected than babies of that the huma no age limit. bob veal are the neighborhood, Some years ago the Senators and sho protests, “do you knew that I've had a brown dress every fall | for the past six years, I had an idea i * y dressed woman, over again all y life, Moreover, the | that one of the new blues or perhaps. Assemblymen of the west side had $EVENTH--The profoundly good and, Worst of him !s that every one of his|an old rose 4 F , B be oantralctatalirectracke Slevent Just ‘man who would rather do right Negat've virtues renders escape from Suit voursel@’ John retains sweatty, a bill passed to make the New York Central take its tracks off Eleventh | heh: be. Breslaent: “Elo le de QumOha Red ; ant avenue, | with self-forgottulness that he Is al-) aN WHY DON'T i , ye (ina ‘ o0S rethi ro ki ople | ways ready to sacrifice himself for YOU ASSERT YOUR- ] To remove these tracks would cost something. To kill people |e ORY Meerared on the he cee Sh Bae \ Costs next to nothing, Therefore the tracks have not been removed and | EIGHTH — The self-constituted re- MIND (EM e hevenieiany¢ blic official former, who resigns his. se THOSE MOSQUITOES } the enforcement of the law is shifted from one public officia 19 ane flourish, as who would s WAYS? i other. The New York Central's lawyer raises a new point. The Public these other men @ lesson tn politene j | daa (>; Feet, AAR arings The f ives | ‘. He feels proud of himself’ His appro- Service Commission gives hearings. The Board of Estimate gives hear. BE Featnsbie Ww pourisied sonsiouslly by | ings. The Corporation Counsel writes opinions. will ‘nis own kind acts. ; ¢ 1 j / o} ‘ j NINTH ] During ail of which years the New York Central continues to kill NINTH—The man who looks for the OPERATED AS AN INDEPENDE voman who ts neglected by other men jand bestows his seat upon her. His sympathy is always with the down- trodden of humanity. | TENTH—The cool, discriminating man | | who decides which woman, if any, he | will atand for, He has confirmed opin- [fons concerning Mrs. New Woman, one lof whtch Is that a necessary part of her evolution consists in standing up for herself, along with her #ther phases of proclaimed independence, ELEVENTH—The man who gladly gives up his seat for anybody in pet HNeoats regardless, TWELFTH—Tho obstinate but kind man who will not willingly relinquish his seat on feminine-optical demand, but who may bo led Into standing by some amiavle strap-hanger in his immediate vicinity who patiently refuses to look his way, children, women and men, and the law for the safety of Eleventh avenue continues unenforced upon the statute books. “The Mosquitoes Welcome Him Back.” ‘\ him the more fstence with hir dreary exhau If a man deats you, you can leave him, but !{ he merely bosses you, you Impossible, though ‘ex- have become a own prefers I'm used to seeing you all."' So brown !t 's for enth successive t! Or perhaps tt the mat of going awa the sums ‘I merely expressed my | ence. Gen y the = —— a { must grin and bear it. Yet there are | tner that John's yearning nna ony Cj ’ QO | few women who, te te came to a cholce, asserts itself. No matter NOR The Chorus Girl Says There's Gloom in the Snare Rea eae uM ce a a ga | Musband wi! % e mere fact that they did go is te | \ re a aah; ee — e Fault ots the slava of in imperative reason for retur This is an old story. ‘The occasion for bringing it up again is the and Dope McK night Has Lost His Personal Scenery Rarreleee ia Racine nated + nhac sania! eaetuMAT eI CuBCHURTATKS hearing before the Public Service Commission when the people of the: monotony, have amazing charms but others may in the same places , Bi : ‘ fi | * - * | for him that he would rather read the Other w contemplate the poss west side humbly requested that even if the Jaw requiring the removal of | a Rlrdnone (on tle Darh end Hee dus, Snr eae eae veo fer eame book or tisten to the same play fessor of the Husband With No Putts i the tracks was not to be observed there might be flagmen stationed so Between @ beau in the wine business and a good heart in taxicabs ‘tis time 2X timer tan plunge into the pertlous at Alt with envy By Roy L, McCardell. that mothers could take their chikiren to the recreation pier in compara: | Biro sudiclently tomplek ie duapand sat “6osY. Kid, iUs the lst of August Belmont and I for @ young girl to ponder and reflect, and, anyway, Amy don't think it will ren aays f ‘ . (eal a NE te ‘ y to 46 4 unclation act. She'a /® [UW OF ive safety ain't signed up with nobody and I've been sitting do any harm to give George a jolt, co she frames up a renunclat ve seeee eTestyett erty ‘ tive safety and that younger children might have somebody to see them S wo long agains: the Wall in K& H's oftice that to ga down to his office and call him a wretch and throw her rings at him, | U9. ear, a cree ame be more : safely across the tracks when they went to school. Tom, the iger, think'’s I'm a pattern on the paper “This she'll do, knowing others will gather around her and restore her junk “Brown!” he replies without a mo- Lies fa as To this, too, the New York Central objected, and at the hearing, "T think I'll go home and visit the folks for awhile, for to her and lead her sobbing from the acene to a cab | eaantas nealtation Het trad eens hef he Public Servi tay - ; | {tf I don’t get there to see them they'll de o: 8 10 ‘When she gets in George's office, one sweeping glance tells her there {s a | = eee zee x nets ve. efore the Public Service Commission the following colloquy took place see me, and relations ts s at the snare, ag the guy rathole in one corner, and she must throw her rings in the other direction, so | —wmutaw between a commissioner and the west siders’ Tepresentative: | ald when his aunt and uncle was thrown from a buggy she does the denunciation and the ranunciation and then swings 4n a circle as ge doooOOCGOOO00000000 i i | thelr back: {ft to ‘ows the rings at him, In the safe direction, but not too hard “Well, | walked 7 ‘ ht? " “and | and wr thelr 3. 3 up the avenue the other night,” sald the Commissioner, “ind "Ld Know why I'm expected to mess tn with other to bo loose rettings. 2 rou U T saw two watchmen talking to one another. You can't expect the road to pay | people's tro: When I agreed to take a room at “Alas, poor Amy! Her blg spark engagement ring, she has just got back |2 men to entertain one another.” | Mamma De ¥ s flat and share !t with Amy, with n George, made sacrifices to get {t out of hock, and the only giltter | £ A : f . ® “Thal’s not our fault. The people have more rights to the streets than the all hairpins and curling tongs and cologne jn common, and she's got that isn’t phoney, hits his desk and bounces back right Into the rat ® The Feeling-Sorry Club. 8 railroad.” 9 al to sit In at fodder tlme with them all—that didn't mean Y © “No,” the Commissioner said. “The railroads have certain vested rights | which must be observed.” [home from Indiana, 1f he can “Ln first place, inted rece! at the constable ver for all thelr sorrows, did 1t? Donald De Branscombe 13 to the State com line, He's had She does a faint that aln't no Imitation, and she ts sent home ina cad. But a{n't men the wretches! Them wine people send her home ‘collect’ and that taxtoad driver won't let her out till he gets $1.90 for bringing her from down- | By Irvin S. Cobb, From High Glasses to Green Glasses. of the sibility that thls cup may pass from Iniks, there seems to be a pose lim, But i€ Gov, Hughes should become the Republican nominee again, and “Well, | don't care. ft (8 severe shock, but it's nothing to the one handed me when this depressing {ntel- /town, And while a crowd collects and @ ecene {a created, the taximeter clicks | Mr. Woou i mpl The lives of our ligence {s passed out this morning. aixty cents more for waiting time, total two-fitty. For them taxicab driv- NEW YORK, Aue. 1 Vag. vee us Pa vag eer try Meg rae ee pao than all the “I can stand Mamma De Branscombe’s faults and failings, but when they are has hard hearts, they working on twenty per cent. commission and furnish EAR GREE hed feet ney in New York.” ‘ Has the New York Central a vested right to kill people? Are not “the lives of our peo- ple worth more than money?” Is it the duty of the Public Ser- vice Commissioners, to whom the people and not the New York Cen- “It's all right when mamma's darling hoy {Is enfe GEORGE, You HAVE BROKE MY HEART! HEAVENS! THERE GOES My tn fail. For, while there, nelr own gasolene, “But Dopey cones to the front. Old Man Moneyton has just sent him a new of clothes, When he gets them he gives his others away to the Musical suit wor's THE MATTER WITH DAT WOMAN ts CRALY! So many of our best known citizens are golng around this summer looking as af somebody had Just ordered them to pick a hundred red ants and hive ‘em in a hat that it has been decid- the club will hold @ special lodge of sorrow for him on the nteht bee fore election. Arrangements are under way to give 1 monster aympathy benefit for the crop of young stage ladies who are undresse ing themselves and epringing forward wih ambitions to do the Salome Dance, When the first of these talented ladies dressed herself up lke a Bock Panee tella, all but the wrapper—that Is t@ 6 «oo ! ed to organize a say, by putting a gilt band around the tral pay $15,000 salaries, to protect D RING Volunteer sob-sav- walst—and hurled herself out on @ the profits of the New York Central ing crew, to b® roof and did a correct imitation of or to protect the lives of the peo- ple of New York? eee he WHY MISS WALSH ELOPED, Miss Evelyn Walsh tells in tomorrow’s World why she eloped. She did not want the fuss of a formal wedding. Lady Menendez, who was born in New Jersey, tells how she likes to be the wife of the Chief Justice of Northern Nigeria, and how it feels to ride in a bullock cart in-| Stead of an automobile. Helen Vail Wallace tells of matrimonial horo- Scopes, The Home Page has photographs of Lady Sara Wilson and Mrs, George Keppel, showing how a woman shoukl hold the new style | skirt. These articles and the music from “The Girl Question” are some of the things which will make to-morrow’s World such Pleasing femi- nine reading, | For men there are all the usual news, a sport best in the United States, everything about pol of Help Wanted advertisements for men out of work. RAT HOLE “HER ONLY GLITTER HITS THE DESK AND BOUNCES BACK INT O THE RAT-HOLE.” ted fo) Jent and never being par- known as the for service during At the Feeling Sorry Club, the remainder of the season. first session of the new organization applications were received from a large number of those who desire to be felt very sorry for. | A case which attracted Instant pity jfs that of the Staten Island Cricket Club, composed of as loyal a group of | gentlemen as ever kicked of a motn- ing because they were given brolied (brook trout and fresh strawberr'os for | breakfast, instead of Yarmouth oloaters land Dundee marmalade, You see the grounds of the Staten Island cricketers | are over there by the Narrows, And when the ship bearing the american | team from the Olympian Games comes up the bay with tho brass bands and |Mike Kenny blaring on the Battery jsea wall, and P. J. Conway atand!ng on the red buoy down by Quarantine | dressed In an emerald bathing sult om- brofdered with golden harps, and a long row of scalps of English athletes. at least thelr friends claiméd they were ‘athletes—drying at the Wow, and Mer- Anais : Tet naa et a 1 the flat tin Sherklan and Matt McGrath and K ndly ask your newsdealer to be sure and keep a copy for 1M run around to the police station, Johnny Flannigan clustered on the ———— at Sitar Ff ( 1 ma De Branscombe kisses him on the brow and says amid all tHe clouds | quarterdeck, singing "God Savs The Letters ‘from the People. ver, he !s one constant star, and takes the new autt as Dopey 1@ portleres, on them, and Amy is released. That's two days | icing,” to the alr which { always nsed | when this song 1s sung In the south éf Ireland—when all these things happen, some one suffering from the caissow Alte. easo commonly called the bends, under the Impression that she was putting across the sameystuff that got Herod's A Bean With Whiskers, ee W 14 exact . ag { aia}| those champlon cricketers of (he tight] Israelito-Roman goat, It was regarded \ pr c it 1 1 Is threatening to throw us out of the snare, George {s sore | little Island called Staten will be ined as a very nourishing spectacle for ‘hot AvLaila PhTaAe, k soctle i Wand W © up, the telephone is cut off, Loule Zinsheiner and Able Wogele- | on thelr popping crease thinklng Weather. And the second Indy who \ ps : a fis Geaiieery ey ¢ vim | Arverne, Old Man Moneyton !s at Saratoga, none of us has a cent, | What a grand showing the English con- andthe: thlFd snay “escapes MRT ngTOLe (zg " : a ike { > 4 thing to eat In the flat, and Mamma De Bransconvbe says there's |testants would have made in ail the stewed prunes thrown at her, but the we z ” id that w <0 ng to do, and that ts to take In boarders! leventa if only nobody had opposad|rest of them should have a care, They Me : eater (tiie! CHML obedy: GanGaal @ FallPORAPSRES ARG waOrE TT ther, 0 all members of the clu have Should have several cares, bteaune, In atin for “Tt wit ' stage na iple of years ago T knew @ general passenger agent of the Erle who | Promised to feel sorry for them oni galome sistens are golng to be shoved pea a Z u peesiistae sald little girl, any time!” rising, retiring and before each meal. |so far up stage that near-sighted per- London, sons in the first balcony will mistake ++ 4 wide wave of sympathy Is also to| thet, for fesh-colored Scenery pasted rae i 1 a rural p. o |be sent billowing forth in the general |on the back drop. 4 2s NR BEOKAt One Taste Enough, |directién of the Honorable ‘Tim’ special session has been called on ugha 5 Ata : Woodruff, It is agreed by the Account of Mr, Bliss, of ion, y Of military service require officers to visit the kitchen during city that tha: sony ho |} Cs who thought te ought to take @ a An g hours to sce t he soldiers’ food 1s properly prepared. One old |“ l ae only man who | wife, but made the error of trying to New York. 2002 Pan eee ever faced the frightful possibility | take the wroig one. He, as you know, at tend Ai > let It d tly generally known that his orders must bolor having to put his hand in) Went forth for # soctal lina lemon w n explanation, once stopped two soldiers who were the fatal hat and draw out @ Black Sherbet summer suit and returned ' Mara sane celtenar \ : " fore dawn looking so much like a ae 3 se ‘ ‘ rene ‘ n |Bean with sandy whiskers on {t Mr. dominecker rooster that he was crow: tat ar Pi dal uy 2 ' rate bei? S Niet hei Woodruff {s deserving of sincere con-| Ine for dav. It must Indeed be a sad t ‘ ) PK ‘ (1 fetched a ladle and gave the colone} the desired | 4, ai hing to start out as a sartorial fcan ‘ wors el spat and a 1 jdolences, However, as he has already | triumph and wind un asa combination Mitiats ct) ot 2 apy td ‘ ar |assured the Great White Father at/of tarred reofing and a feather duster, te an n 8 event is y baat t call that stuff soup, do you? Oyster Bay that, !f renominated for a As for Hisgen and Graves, ev F replied the soldie " " . i Bnrailahe dutiriag: gan nid G4 a P ridier meekly, “it's dishwater we were emptyin’,| second term, Gov. Hughes will not get iliation thing as alr. erybody'e Magazine any votes of the Eagles and very few ery Member will of course rh feeling sorry for them ah tnt the campaign. Yours sorrowfully, AI. t ee