The evening world. Newspaper, April 16, 1908, Page 18

The Evening Che Published Daily Except Sunday by the Press Puflishing Cempany, Nos. toe Park Row, New York. POREPA PULITZER, Pres., 1 Rast 184 Sireet, J. ANGUS AITAW, Boe.-Treae., 91 Wet 11708 Brows | “Entered at the Post-Omce Rt N few York aa Second-Class Mall Matter. For England and the Continent ang acript ii Rates t The Evenini ind Canada. Postal Union. 7 One Yea! ++ $3.50 One Year... ae One Mont) 2D One Month. oe id me oa VOLUME 45.. NO. 17,040, | WHIPSAWING THE FARE BILL. | WHIPSAW differs from an ordi- nary saw in that it cuts both ays. A Chinese saw cuts when it is pulled toward you. An or- dinary carpenter's saw cuts when it is pushed away. The Assem-| bly and Senate Committees on Railroads have now completed their whipsawing of the Coney | Island Five-Cent Fare bill. By a vote of five to two the} Senate Committee on Railroads refuses to pass this bill, which the Assembly Committee on Railroads unanimously reported. Maybe if the Assembly Committee had not already known what the Senate Committee would do, the bill would not have passed the| Assembly. Maybe if the B. R. T. had not known what the Senate| Commitee would do it would have made more of a fight in the} Assembly. In either event, a whipsaw may saw wood, but it pulls the wool over nobody's eyes. The Coney Island Five-Cent Fare bill, which has for years been advocated by The Evening World, has been annually introduced in the Assembly by Mr. Wagner, who is honest, sincere and able in his efforts to pass it. , Last year this bill was killed in the Senate by the votes of New! York Senators repmsenting tenement-house districts. They heard from their constituents last fall, and this year they both voted and talked In favor of it. To deprive Mr. Wagner of the personal credit for the bill’s passage by the Assembly, the Republican majority draughted their own Five-Cent Fare bill and put it through, thereby enabling the Re- publican Assemblymen from Greater New York to tell their constituents next fall that they had done evenything they could to secure the Coney Island five-cent fare. The Senate Committee on Railroads has only two New York City members. Both of these voted for the bill, and none of the others did. That enables all the Senators and Assemblymen from New York City, both Democratic and Republican, to go before their constituents next fall and pose as the real, true friends of the people. This will deceive nobody. Any bill which afiects only New York and which all the New York Senators and Assemblymen are honestly in favor of ,stands a pretty good chance of passing both houses of the Legislature. ; The representation from Greater New York is two-fifths of the whole Legislature. Its members can easily pass any local bill they want by refusing to vote for the local bills other members want unless they get theirs, ; This ts not the end of the Coney Island Five-Cent Fare bill, The Evening World will keep on advocating it. Mr. Wagner or some other member, in case he decides not to return next year, will introduce it. Some day there will be a Legislature which really Tepresents the popular wil, and that day will come all the sooner from the exposure of the tricks by which meritorious legislation like this is prevented. . Letters from the People. — Licenses for Cats. To the Exittor of The Pvening World: Why not license cats as dogs are ll- censed and kill those with no lcenses? This would put a partial stop to the nightly yowlings that murder sleep. Dis- cuss this, New Yorkers. Is there any fane reason against it? H. A. LAHNAS, No. To the Editor of The Evening Wort Is there or was there ever an ison star. RICHARD BINNS, “Unsociable” New York. To the Piitor of The Evening World: | ‘The recent editorlal on the unso- elableness of New York struck the r: Friday as a legal holiday in the State ot New Jersey. Is that information correct? Cc. H. ROBERTS. Elizabeth, N. J A Boy's Spending Money, To the Editor of The What Evening World: ought I to get for readers? Iam working in N nd make 4a we My parents | i I ge | Time Limit for Jobs. To the Filtor ing World note. I went to school with a fellow] I read every now and then of city and we became close friends. For more 3 who hb ia for Ge than twelve years we > e never met,|ce rao. Re you t nal and yet all that time both have been! it too Png for any da job] Mving th! r old town and per- off the city? I think e wlio has 1a job twen and give sor What say you, r haps but a ks distant fror another. 1 it is a far task to keep track of one on than in this metropolis, What do s say? A. THOMAS. A Lace Shipments, To the Faitor of The I should like ve Would discuss the sol lowing problem: A ¢ dozen lace; same was BALLOT BOX Board Problem, vening World much {f readers 1 Honbap ether fale give me an answer RoI erserei lt digs an excavation 12 feet by narged and ship- y16 116 feet by 9 ha who oc t been able find ped to him as 12 dogen, but on receipt Pt How can he cut the board in niece of the goods he finds in eae ones ain? 0989, he, On Teallty go as to exactly cover the excava- re ts only 6 dozen reporting ‘ion PROBE the shoriage, the to Seed essen en him, without and asks that ment for ins She's Too Smart. | you want the storekeeper hence re 8 wife because ° at you salesman was the statemen How muc charged with? throws things at ot The World TW Me Britor 1 w es Good Daily News. Wour Almanac for Jesse caeiaianieitinmmteds orld Daily Magazine, Thursday, “He Laughs Best That Laughs Last.” By Maurice Ketten. w HAW |! HAW! Haw! HAW | S Lo ISS r=) —> t aqueouel OPENING WILLBE PERMITTED AS USUAL YESTERDAY The Showing Off by Parents of Their Cute Little Darlings Is a Dangerous Undertaking, as Mr. and Mrs. Jarr Have Learned Being told how pretty they were and how brignt they were stirred up both youngsters to outdo all former efforts as infant pests. Little Willle sald a whole By Roy L. McCardell, j lot of bright things and also sald and did a whole lot that were not at all bright, “M R and Mra Gote, of Brooklyn, will be here this|!cluding his latest accomplishment of spitting through his teeth. evening, you know," said Mr. Jarr. jeraatile “Om, I know 1t very well," said Mrs Jarr, ‘1 40%0 don't see why those people maist on calling: it Just upsets & VioroUs and screaming protest for coffee—something neither was ever permitted everything. It's easy enough for them, though; they have; f° have. ROSCA te {The intercession of Mr. and Mra, Gote saved them from condign puntshment, “But, my dear, you tnelsted that they should come to /@nd then all withdrew to the parlor, where Willle demonstrated, to his own see ue when we met them at tho theatre the other night,” satisfaction, the feats he had observed at the cirous, stich as ground and lofty salcieatr, (Jarry [oXeulyyourselrinamed \thisjeveningjvand||jeuu was an Net ncludeds @yeumnedgend) bleeding) noes) resulta) Otjiaich) Were MOUIaIL tabeion Terlactereoaen apparent on Mr. Gote's white waistcoat. “Well, it wasn't because I wanted them," said Mra Little Emma, the while, climbed over Mra. Gote and transt Jarr. "You are always talking about what a good friend Mr. Gote {# to you and that he would lend you money, and articles of jewelry that lady possessed to herself. These juvenile efforts at entertaining being interspersed with threats by their that's why I was so nice to them. To my mind, the man looke Mke @ fool!” parents and remonstrances againet such a thing on behalf of the little dears by the guests. “I eaid he'd lend me money,” replied Mr. Jarr with a| After Wille had dropped « large sized cest-tron locomotive on Mr. Gote's pet corn that gentleman heartily seconded the suggestion that the children sing one “Goodness knows I've | of thelr school songs. Tih{s both children flatly refused to do, and when, in con- sequence, Mr. Jarr threatened severest corporal punishment in tragic whispers “as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Gote go," Mr. and Mrs, Gote commenced to stir un- easily, as {f to indicate far (ve tt from them to delay matters, Finally Mns. Jarr yanked the chtldren from the room and ordered them to bed. In two minutes they reappeared, litte Emma wearing Mrs. Gote's bonnet and hospitably remarking, “Go on home; I don't i!ke 'o!"" and Uttle Wille wear- ing Mr. Gote’s silk hat, in which, before he could te stopped, he proceeded to stand on his head, At this point Mrs, Gote pleaded @ severe and probably truthful headache, and * eald Mrs, sald she MUST go. ee the children. V y had departed Mr. Jarr said coldly, “Now get me the strap!” Rut Mrs. Jarr declared she wasn't going to have the children punished for the sake of two old prigs from Brooklyn. On the way home the Gotes resolved that {f Providence im its wisdom had decreed they should be childless, perhaps Providence knew best. red all portable grin, “Why don't you borrow some, then?” asked Mrs. Jarr. plenty of use for all I can get! Oh, well, let them como!" she added, as {f Mr. Jarr was coaxing her to permit it; “let them come. Tl have get out the new dishes, and that girl we have now {s just aching to break them! Mr. Jarr made no reply, knowing the coming of company alw wives Into @ peevish and exasperated state. However, Mrs. Jarr was afl smiles and was #0 to see tnem “I thought you intended giving the children an ea to bed and not be a bother?" queried Mr. Jarr, when b so up to the table. nind your business and let me attend to my throws good Gotes arrived when Ainner eo they could go saw the children's chairs ve none of thetr own, you know.” At the dinner table both Mr. and Mrs. Gote paid particular att e and Emma Jarr, as all people do who are childless, not car up the Demon Showing-Off In the Realm of Repartee. . .# . ByJ.K. Bryans n to Httle ow they MISSIONARY—BSee here, young man, why deu't Here, nurse! Who's that young chap that’s “Now, boy, this {s Important. It's an tnvitation *It see you in Sunday schoo! any, more? always following you around? Is he a beau of to qinner!” yours?” KID—Aw, go on! Dey ain't even got de life of “Oh, no, sir. Dat’s Jimmie Hawkshaw, de de MPSSENGER—Thanks, lady. But I don’t think James In de library. tective. I hires him to protect me fram kidnap- [ kin accept. Me drese sult’s in hock! pers an’ things!” mma put her hands in the Wutter and rubbed !t in her hair and orted | y for more dessert when there was no more, and joined with Willle tn 16, 1908. TOO OO CO Nixola Greeley-Smith ON TOPICS OF THE DAY. Vivisecting Cupid. SS ADAIL PRATT, menber of a colony of women M near Washington who bel that all associatien with mankind is sinful and who lived th ehe waa ut having met on f the forbidden sex, who was ever Introduced twenty-nine wil has t married the first man to her. It was inevitable that she snoutd. Deprived of those standards of comparison that make the choice of @ hus» band a matter of some complexity to the normal womam it's a wonder she didn't try to elope with a taflor's dummy or an Indian cigar sign If a group of match-making mothers had held @ species conve to devise early jages for their Infant dang! . they could not hi nd a surer plam than vhat of women Who sought to bring up a colony of moni: problem reduced to its a husband presents @uch fs of a grand passion to girl who had the ma ner parents for hee if John only ha@ td make an ideal husband, bus his Greek nose a trifle ous ard, &c., John would appear quite perfect, there fore supremely &@s a husband. And that is precisely what the mothers in the queer colony at Washington have done for their daughters. Perhaps ip the general scheme of things {t matters very little whether a girl marries the first man that proposes to her or the last. The late Ward McAllister, in hie Mgotten book on sootety, advised the detute to accept one of the Is she recetved In her first season, as these would be, undouMedly, the ald ever get from the very unworldly Washington colony hae "some very worldly ndvice. Just as happy a wife as though she had the process of selection. Analysts {s the bane of modern love tt isection of poor Mttle Cupid to find out whether his heart eats | properly or his arterles are in good condition. Women who linger too long over an aesortment of suftors are too much given to The woman who marries the first man 3 her has no time for vivisection—at least not till after marriage. Indy She may Jozen hearts picked over @ that as DOONAN CONNOMNGDGOMODNDSOAOAAOAPSOOOOIDGS! Gertrude Barnum —— On the American Girl —— Is She Only a Dream ? had been shopping, and several of the girls were much cast down because of the fatness of they desires and the siimness of thelr purses. Such {mt toxicating temptations hat and gown {.? dty hol “closings!” counter barga Most any one could look Itke a duchess tn that ermine me hat!’ sighed the aristocrat !f our party led a brunette beauty. think of some people blowin’ money on buttery lls, and us not able to earn enough to feed the at the door!’ exclaimed a plain girl, bitterly. What's the answer?” 4, I can't see that makin’ faces ts cares the wolf from the door muoh” orted the plain girl. “I s'pose you lke bein’ dows ng other people hog all the cream and uppers all 2 even the skim m 1 again, placatingly. “Riddle,” satl she: “Which you'd rather en or those that's troddin’ you down? Honest, I'd drether 1k than hog all the cream. I'd drather fight wolves thag s, an’ I'd drather look like the right kind of Americam ess living. girl than any du ‘After we had separated from the others and packed our treavy bundles about Ina. resumed: . z girl we read about ts only a dream The ones I know would mostly all be buyin’ ermine hats with money they never earned if they got the chance, or givin’ butterfly balls while the uneme or marryin’ dukes, and leavin’ the land of the free an® ve. few I sea tries to te free or wants to be or read about the Vanderbilt weddin’ than the Ten Hour law beln’ constitutional., They'd drather be put down with tdiots and criminals thas ret laughed at for wantin’ to vote. They ain't ever free and brave enough to join a union, now that the ‘perfect ladies’ and preachers say it’s no sin.” “what's answer?’ I quoted, after we had sat in dejected allence a little veel," she repited, meditatively, “maybe the men'll get afraid of havin? so many ‘soab’ girls around, waitin’ to take their Jobs, and begin to organise em. P’raps Mrs. ‘Potter Palmer or somo other swell will make it the fashion to hea wuffragette. Likely the oid girls that don’t look good In ostrich plumes any mor 1 have give up expectin’ to marry the Superintendent, will line up and call for their share of the cream. As {t looks to me, though, we'll have t@ walt a week to see things movin’; but we can keep on dreamin’, Sometimes | 1 feel lke I'd like to take a Rip Van Winkle sleep till @ few real American | girls come out of the dream and got on the map. They'll have to bome trug, n , you know.'"* iuaeats rode along I reviewed what I knew of the independent, brave, just land patriotic life of the little friend beside me, and when we parted I coul@ nu sist saying: So athere's at least one true American girl, and she’s no dream.’ ' +> Reflections of a Bachelor Girl. By Helen Rowland. OME men think that by putting on @ silk hat and a white Ascot tte they are disguised as gentlemen. Love !s like gambling; you want to be sure that you are a good loser before you go In for the game = Of course it's awfully funny to seo a@ dignified off gentleman upstairs on ald fours at 2 A, M., with his hat on one side, his shoes ne ts collar on crooked—but his wife never aprreciates the Joke, b ds, and hi: Me hans; Tcan never understand, and that f# how a man can tell the front trom the back of his hat, but he always can w man’s idea of honor Is 8o peculiar; he would die rather than steal a friend's monuy or cheat him at cards, but he will steal hia wife er cheat him out of sughter with perfect equanimity, ceeiner oe tue same after ten years of matrimony; they all smell of cloves cad eng: taik in monosyllables, and tell the same stories when they come nery, They'd drather his of fortune tellers—especially if they are the amateur kind thet and while they read the signs in your face. tion is ike a cocktall with no headacte in it, champagne with no “next ware —_—_———_—+-—____—__ The Lovers’ Parting. By Stephen Crane. 5 editor took down a volume dated 1894. nen Crane, the man of gentus who died in youth,” he sald, i} ‘used to write humorous paragraphs for me. Here 16 a little thing of hs, I think it's awfully good. T'll read tt to you. ‘And he read this brilfant buriesque of a lovers’ parting: | It was 6 o'clock, and 90 Tresham had been spending the afternoon with: et Lian Bellatrs, Good-bye, George’ she murmured, nestling her head in the time-honored i MAGAZI | ww | place dearest, there 1s the image of death,” George Tresham parting, “Do you know that we may never meet he girl passionately every | whisperal, kissin) again?” “Who know “On, Geor ing Lilany | beens” ' i} ‘Trust me, Lillian, darlin: trust your George." “Oh, George,” she said, strong in the faith which women have, “I do trust could I fove yon if I did not?" And she kissed him fondly T shall come again, Lillian, my own" , George, when?” she wi{spered passionately. George, darling,” she erled, clinging to him flercely. my own, what may happen ere we see each other once more? ay that you will come back to me—back to your own Ittle lows My George, the same beautiful and brave George you have always you. Hov “Oh, Georg must It be so long as that? So long, #0 long?” He took her tenderly in his strong arms. he whispered, “7 will make it 7.34°' And it came to pass as te S04 spin {