The evening world. Newspaper, January 1, 1908, Page 6

oe 6 THE EVENING WORLD, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1, The Diary of a Young Year.’ By Irvin S, Cobb Time Is Short---of Breath. | The Boozeless Year of 1908. By H. T. Smith. | By Roy L. McCardell. ANUARY 1, 1.05 A, M.-Just arrivea 5 = ae Nineteen Hundred and Eight dawns bright \ ns, every bod y y 1 : and fair, But dry, oh, very dry the right w Ht = Go ™ North Carolina has gone prohibition, and South onversation an Ae W } 1 a Carolina, after some years of experimenting With State dispensaries, has done party, with an overhangir eath and a se Kean A PSS away with these. Well may the Go wr of South Carolina say to the Governor ne. Between hiccoughs he wearily info ped — of North Carolina, “It's a long time between drinks." place; said it had been a stor i him 1 di = bama, Goorgia, Tennes kansas—the whole South—Js almost unant- anvt bout the Moors, but, Judging by . mously solid for prohibition, Kentucky, that had three boasts In one toast—Fair at it must have been and nis Women, Fast Horses and Good -has out out the booze, and Marse Henry began to strike 12, and Ol fas worked a parlor mag!c w vanished. I w der if I'M be having that much her face a year from now. I wot not! 215 A. M.—Hate to start tn knocking right c e reel, but from where I sit th to be slightly lachrymose. I fee! that I haven't the proper outfit for this climate. I the plunge room in a Turkish bath, but something seems to tell me that I would able comment on Fifth avenue. At this writing © available and visible wardrobe own hair, the end of a damp cloud and one ose foolish Master Rollo sashes ar on it. I don't know whether that's my name or a he nur I have a strong presestin tterson's screams are pitiful to bi: Oklehom with a ment that ales, wines and liquors a . a new Sta (GET A MOVE > ON, THERE / ARE orate ) \2 OSE BEHIND ") 5 tion, declares in the latter doc: * not to be made, sold or shipped through {ts domain for twenty- a one years, And not then unless It he so decided by a majori All efforts to restore the canteen to th ny have a. of the Bottle ts on In Mary- Fv ‘order rand; local option obtains in various States—even in New York State, where at the last election White Plains, the seat for We y went dry as a bo A black eye {s being aime! at the jug trade. An an t to the Inte gress, which will direct that whisk te that makes or sells it teheste oo law will be introduced again ot be shipped into a gures “190: at this sitting of ¢ daylight some enterprising haberdasher and gents’ furnisher is ng to have a chance to pu State that doesn’t. If necessary to effect this tho-oughly, MaInENUITOL Rel Gonstieu ion wile d for, and most me and then work both ways. \likely will be passed. 10 A. M.—Outlook brightening. Have been introduced to a - and nutritious n tastes som | he Anti-Saloon League ts preps his efty may vote “No Saleons!” The ing a ward system law by which sections of lyear of 1908 may see the town of "Step Live Steet i Having succeeded in closing the theatres or inset neepoEltasite close the saloons on Sunday. Alo on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, T In ul gray dawn of the a water wagon procession. Everybody will be on will the harvest be? Breweries and dist thing like a foot gone to sleep, Called champagne. Am told it is the common tipple of t Was also made acquainted with the brand of vehicle known as an automo! file extreme, but can't say I fancy the brand of perfumery It favors have a suspicion {i spends its lire trying to run away from {ts own smell HIGH NOON —Find pickled cherries and olives to be very nourishing articles of diet. Esp nectic with the mixture known in the vernacular as a coc! 2 P. M.—Recetved a delegation of financiers from W: street, who informed me ey 1 of the time under my predecessor, the late Henry J. Shrubberies. Asked me for a bettcr my watch gone. 30 P. M.—Party named Fairbanks called. Gathered from his remarks that - TES, he'd like to get a nomination. whatever that 1s, during my incumbency. Just to be sociable, offered him a cocktal!, whereupon he fled with a low moan. 4 P. M.—Hear a good deal of talk about a party named Roosevelt. General {mpression appears to be that he considers himself the original full portion of {romage, Hope to put him over a few bumps during the ensuing twelve months in order to show him that I’m descended myself from the old Camembert stock on the paternal side. 6.45 P. M.—Having a lovely first day. Acquired the cigarette habit and had @ few. Tossed off a few crocks of that champagne stuff with a lovely young ontrivanee, pleasing in feavor more strongly than ever to Friday and Saturday is very morning—this town will see the great annual irsday, ning after—wnich s wagon and off the booze no mills will close up, nil will shut down, cork, bettle and labe! me that is, tt may Wine agents rep The Gne Who Remenibercd. By Nixola hes ey -Suh off two-thinia, vis but grate ed to Fairbanks! ind comforting will be a nes are with us, mber his pov- ipon his head. But little bit! on a woukl ree: i HE Old Year s 1, som y woman's cu person of the feminine gender. possessive case, present tense, who tells me she's | char i eran aoe Re a eter ater snal relcner se Sen in a show with a weird name that opens at the Casino next week. Explained ae pie Tae ee cerlegs outlook! Well, let's hav ee inervorattiaiyet to me that ft is possible for a chorus girl to have much jewelry If she saves Rune: Theanine nYou dear Old Near’ she sald, ‘‘T could not I her money. To which I replied with a slow yet graphic wink. (Feel that I am andi ee aeiheuttuianiciig you) for|alll soul Have) you pa done e woman "You thank me! nor beautiful, for? I brought you Old Year had shame that ts worse learning.) 11 P. M.Learn this !s leap year. Am taking all the hunfles except the water jump. My next imitation will be that of 9,000 Yale men giving their college yell simultaneously 1.58 P, M.—Mere shank of the evening. They say everybody turns over a new as hough he w Tt was a ought, tha thing, ne the Old Year gasped. an old man spend the last eievereyererererer The Same Old Story. By Charles H. Forbell. + later So hour of oy earth fn @ were con- woman 1, but a mome ; Jeaf on this date. Trust I'm not too late with mine; can feel the new leaf or erertedunark: : Tea tao aR were juininows and something turning over inside of me to beat the band. Where's the walter? Wm Oh Gio mut coke Tveiey Ninnelye oraud January 2, 11 A, M.-I regard bromo seltzer as science’s noblest gift to man. Rel henedonaleotmuciitor it Balla tote 5 You bre le Lovett she eatd, thing else F happy lovers whom he had ere men jostled him, wt blew h that has happenel matiers. And for that you wi brought together, the radiant jn his ecrs and laughed, threw eu in never die, Old Year. You will lve in my heart a) The Torn---Not Turn< d---Leaf vin cman ere snnvams ata he hnd Whadyaoge or tacked ss wesrote none tags e laid alittle child? Somewhere along that high- STaL ino. ena anes Hs AE ' with a feat noise that stretched to tte might as wel way of lights and furio. By Ferdinand G. Long. the Stayed where he at that mome of him, stuffing themselves inarestaurant, — ¢hought . the neighboring res, probably. Certainly they had all forgotten about And tnen suidenly he was face louder clamor of horns and ulm, or if they remembered him recalled on canoe ih Gt Gin Gen fe (roe the river IN THE PB? SAY,0L0 PAL, faults and w 45 MINUTES FROM even now toasting his success. though she “HOME Coa was ap fue malteicorner 1907 eee) || ee, ee tr, ean a DN, cle 1 man with wl wea Nhe AAG “ted after the Od Year Te ‘Old_ man, name ; wPpM ’ ot bear to “AT NOON JUST ONE" 4 ut By Martin Green. Te wastiapouteallincic: fome.” said straight ap pat) Binashon a 4 e ong uousiy, “wae the bar an yr another Lh u tdenly thousht | ee it SRE ESS aa j ea Ready for the Game. on Heh A New Amsterdam New Year's oclated with a bar it i man siould extend the gree hotel In the | By T. O. McGill. Leis an en oula aaa the 8 Ce ca mien Ws ity of Forty- Mr. Pyde had regolved to call u : aif ynd atreet and ( onaheucelechone o'clo YNHEER GULIELMUS VON SCHWEINHUND, tun ] ingles = yalway, He had ; | FORGET IT . Jan 1. 18, and gre: M gess of New Amsterdam village (and goodly man ; i “ yeen associating fo! Ha New withal), sat him in a high-backed, horsehair-cush- i ae ener eR |, “nore various bars at in her feeling nied pew at St. Paul's Church (situate, as all folk know, (a | 0) over hearing the initial salutat corner of the Broad Way and Vesey's lane, to north ef | Here's a Bench Show of Good | oe ie sear ii mon nen Iairieclatsiyraiae eis agen ge te p latter aid forget his dereliction, scarce the half of a mile southward of the Bouerle lane. y } t There be some raggarts who boast windily that a day next time Mr Pyde 5 will come when all the peaceful farm land around St. Paul's “ will be built up and waen Manhattan Island may number full 10,009 population. A quaint, laughable fantasy, egad!) Resoives for Young 1908 ; Seer ee tener aes [ment hotel in w | ip his hot s Mynheer Gulictmus sat hearkening to the right profitable iloteretarmenvaced! tetsrert he courts, and [inz he had p | cle ne voice of the hote New Year's discourse of Rev'd Evarardus Bogardus, Domt- att its, jointly and se turned over aj He had pr | sounding in his ear put as hie of New Amsterdam. It was New Year's morning in the bul! tat | upon the warmth of his a < year of grace 1628, Full eloquently did the pious Dominie GIEGER farmer and Justice of the {iter U A E EnUNe = holt forth on the duties of the coming year, But Gullelmus \ resolved to pr economy in the ma EY i alled for his num it ha paid scant heed to the worshipful exhorter, For this morn ne and make a yous effort to reduce the Proper’y ve ene ils inind was as sour and jaundiced as a reformer’s visage, Thus did Gullelmus New Yea Fonhin preduct to a po dozen ruminaie within his own spleenful heart CHIEF Jt i opwWwy f Court. who has eight Por Mrs. Pye 1 break home. ‘Paese be parlous rotten times, ' faith! This ts not the country ft used te Justices assign a five courtrooms for them, resolved that the new |!dnt mind t of misgivings: be. And, what's more, it never was, Ten miles did I tramp through snow to Justices do all the we s Donne McAvoy, Vinelite and Behmack | “° © you, Jessie lurch this day, lugging my blunderbus and ever keeping shrewd lookout for sit in Parts 1 Court House, while Justices Conlan, | Ma) ib the shu telephone oper | sauvage Indfans, Yet I could get a shot at only one, And be, gadzooks, was well Rascal!, Dele! Yhief Justice elt in Parts 5, 6, 7 and 8=—| 1) | Shay, Jesshie, do some-n for me,! nigh too thin and tough to eat. The last consignment of rum from Antwerp be out in City He | vant | an . I shee you giv uni to wash a dog in. Weak, wat'rish stuff it 1s, and yet so heady that one CHIEF CLE d ITH, who makes the ndars Et you nice big box o candy? Good girl, waxeth dizzy after quaffing the first twe or three galions of it. Yea, and the fe for the eight S Supreme Court. has resolved that as “°™ | p Jessie. You jus’ call up my wife an | price of Hving be fearsome high. Twopence a pound for beef and a penny « \ he has, by di ilidozing of dilatory lawyers, got t aah Ha ‘ew Yenr’ for me Jes-4 dozen for new-mown eggs! Jacobus Wienerwurst hath had the audacity to calendars up abreast of t y. he will invite the Judges to go fishing with aets shie, an’ tell ne be home Juss ciarge me ten shillings an acre for land along the Broad Way. And ‘tls ru- ! him o: impel agora ize eel [el MiRa CATHAL A) janes Ss street cars start runnin’ Goode) ny eee will be Blue Laws enacted against the innocent sport of burning } av JOYSIUS HENDRICK, wi fier a waole year of try-| 1 dd ; [witches on the Sabbath, Oh, the times be cruel hard! I would I were a hand- | ing strc 5 pen assigned | | painted sauvage or*— i known Par for thitty SECOCS IO COO COOOOX 5 ON yu've got no kick coming, BUI!" squeaked a shrill voice at his side. With to property by rallroa Iareaoument © |, start Gullelmus turned and saw beside him in the pew a wizened little white Muinessiitiaal registered a hornic! 1ea0! WM ] hy th -e New yf e:r Is Ne ver a Girl % conrded man, ‘The stranger spoke right out in meetin; and Interlarded his speech on him | with wondrous, unheard-of words. “Cut out the grouch, friend Gullelmus,” went on the little man. “You thin. strapped to the lemon vine, hey? Well, how'd you like to be your own \ JOHN HPNRY MC a broken a SENIOR JUS months’ e! aye a : uby Rose C, 1i.lotson, nd Chester you great-great-great-grandson?” eaoauhianaaiut to any ot who may be passing In her abated TR a tec A Tacee i SeRT ECU Ran etme rOEECLINE EON Be ences caaen ell know not how I would Itke it." replied the puzzled Gullelmus. “I have victoria. F thn ( throngs of @ touched the pretty ohiffons, the lacy | never seen him. At least,” he added, with cautious afterthought, “not that I JUSTICE JAMBS A. © GORMAN, of the Supreme Court, resolves to “duck't ve rd y ~ each oth friily and hows, and in ler heart there strongly recollect,” the next t arcalledl Un COLOUR CULT ad ALS pas fe | ail 8 weleome to ther ex r mei loverod clothes ‘tam the Spirit of New Years to come,” went on the other. “This greate makes for New York a blue Sun ‘ion this gown, then she tried on @ | crent-great-grandson of yours will live in New Amsterdam—dt'll be New York ) JUSTICE CHARLES F, MACLEAN, of the Supreme Conrt. bas resolved not ! ther and unitaer in her newly (® tien—he'll lve In a place and a century where It takes the Board of Aldermen Pex ere iee dU exdent f na 2 gal ex A great, floppy hat she buat {ince weeks to decide the difference between the Sunday night performances of a his ¢ r instance tude 1 inigenoen (tal ticamenandial in traine! elephant and an untrained soprano; where elastic time currency stretches JUSTICE MITCHELL L, PRLANGER, with the rubber st Godsr i wilohingi capiinext (cauglit shen trivolous) fancy |*ifteen Minutes to Harlem’ into three-quarters of an hour; where insane patients ‘when he first tock on the Supreme Court woolsa , ent AC Bdorawanalarin el led addi inernencucRiane 4 are ‘hanged’ and thelr tormentors aren't even ‘suspended;' where Prosperity page ty 1S and im. > st year's res won lerca eheme; ne would — tleesion anna ‘ plumes, all held the caild in enchantment with | means that prices are so high the consumer can't pay them, and where in Hard ) Judicial aienity t wel F Con MeCLRS ania ht hin tata coal basement Nel nav anarousit salt 3 ‘rimos tie consumer has no cash to pay for anything; where a fleet sallx on a \ Jus I, GREEN, of ty Court ved to make a y ; (areata beved AVE MECE GnriemecamallNaw-Vearattnre (lenge ® |ejondiy Pacific voyage, carrying so many humble peace offerings In the way of hercuile ‘ and h s fellow * J rest for a twelve- wio were waiting for With head bur Rat hureclmanon despair, for he saw Zl uieh explosives that even inflammatory language ts barred; where the Big Stick \ Tudige ner Uittle hands she fled to Father Time In ¢ what impatler bongs waited below, But ® | beats the Milk of Human Kindness Into whipped cream; where it takes a rone- . Jt E BURY 8 1 to appot % mor elvers of ‘ “Oh, TL cannot go out in the world like th New-Yearetta a single word: she was Q) | colored telescope lens to toll the Dove of Peace apart from the War Eagle; where ‘i propert ‘ : f eau sinte r aliew oried tone, putting up lost in the bew abyrinth of clothesdom, Wal! Street digs pools for watering Its thirsty stock in dry commercial weather JUSTICE ct J DAWLIN * " \ down" by t Appellat n pink fin; r flaming whence no femin soul returns—entirely sat and"—— Divi i n 7 s 3 1 es. ‘They will a Isfied, | stop!’ roared Gullelmus. “Forsooth, 'tls enough! Me for the good old sey- yas 1 t be con 1 he ist ' © me somethl T ag throngs shouted in anger: they de- © lenteenth century! of oMer ex «+0 , ) , lisgusting 1 "a womun!" manded the coming New Year and Pather ‘Tine % | ‘The stranger vanished, The worthy church folk were gasping in horror @t obsmo fe F * the oa r to the baza in bewlldered frenzy cast forth the tue twin © | Gulielmus ven Sehwetnhund, whose howl! of dread had so rudely interrupted the | JUST + None RY a IVRARD, ass 1 to sit in we ‘ous things — brot of the tardy girl | pominte's holy ciscourse. ullelmus was roughly dragged out of church between | Appr ' Jonot to try any murd : ‘ thea eart with delight en her tollet was finally completed New-Year- @ a sithing man and a teadle. He spent the rest of New Year's Day, 1928, In the | ord 4 eo} c vers, Vv and n spleni raiment set out proudly to rule Village stocks as punishment for the crime of falling asleep in elu He haa \ s } ( mOute intaleasurninr ek the new= the we To her dismay she found that the @ lenten navght since dawn save a tripe sandwich and a pair of turkeys. ‘The me} Noliaie diotel 8: i nmering fold: year was half over, That's what pretty frocks tury was 1S below zero, The ungodly smatl boys of New Ams‘er'nm guyed the | Ww “ New jorning, @ Ww @ beautifu Ufal place! » sighed and entrancing wraps did for the first and only captive full sore and pelted him with frozqn snowballs, and with eggs whope } fasdedlvcwalie ‘ . n rs as she beheld the neing frocks girl New Yeur we ever came noar having. hope of posterity was long past. Yet did not Gullelmus von Sehweinhund come 4301 fn yerautine rt at t ugh lur'r splayed t nany ehar And that's why the New Year has nev ain @ | plain Tr care 1 fc e ped » the ow v7 MW w-Yearetta. F been a girl, And never will be, She just couldn't @ | “Anyhow.” quoth he with a chuckle (as hy cleverly caught on his nose-tip an ws N “ d to his ‘beer and” lunches et e © and shouting ty red a plea t get dressed on © lovermellow specimen of hen frult that whtzzed his way). “anshow, Providence ' Delan’s sages DROWVLO SHTOVOVGI‘OVOHOOYOOHOG LOS @ ‘be praised, J don’t live In my great-great-great-grandson’s tim nd ! |