The evening world. Newspaper, August 7, 1907, Page 13

The Evening Wor 1d’s Daily Magazine, 7 Wednesday, Auxust 7, 1907. - THE EVENING WORLD’S HUMORISTS ARE GREAT LA GH-MAKERS. totctc kc tok HIPAA II AISI ISAS AADAISAIAIISSIDISSIIS SIS ISSSS SSIS SASSI ISS SAIDISPAIPISIISISISSASISI IAI IISA IS IA IS ISA ISIIS ISAS IAS AIA AIA SIDA III IS IIIA ISSSS ISIS SSSISSIIS IA. The Jart Fi New York Thro’ Funny Glasses * By Irvin S. Cobb. The Foolish Season Catechism No, II. WHAT ta New York's favorite au) ‘A. Sousepariifa. Q. What {s the favorite summer divers: A. @) Going away from town and wishing you (2) Staying in.town and wishing you were away. Q. What isa Gfical summer show? AWA form of diversion fr the fer ¢- principal differenc dimmer show and were pinded, Lween, a typi } Now York winter New York a’ 'typles in from fifty cents to a dol- lar, depending x neat Q. What ar the most st AL UWituinar all, hours. Qu It must, thereforo, be a well-is tA. Indeed, it 14. There Is somebody .getting It up’ in nearly every Booze ads.’ by night induce teoze subtractions by day. i Q. How js) Manhattan Istand ‘bounded? r > A. On the north by, the Mocomb’s Dam Bridge ana on the south by @ Utidge having the same name without the part F Q. How many persins live’'on Ms. nd? A. Upward of two tniiiions. Q. Whatiis thoir favorite occupation? A. All trying to Tide @ subway VINGENTS © VICE ro LOVERS VACATION ROMANCES. - 1APS cafe | “Macomb s tan Is! same’ time. train a you are just back from your vacation, Per- haps you are just going or arc in the midst of its en- Syments, whatever they may You are Mable to bring home with you the memory of some new man ac- quilntance with whom you have walked and driven or pinyed tennis, and tho first week of your return will be speat in looking for- be. ward-to tho letter he:premised to w but you will expect that letter to co! tions, and under the temporary ah elded your anewer will be a favorable You look for it day after day and thin and you write. him, and there ts atill simmer filrtation too sertousiy, tha get all about {t as quickly as possible you. Uaugh at yourself and then forge: Loves Her Friend’s Beau, Dear Betty: |= in lov with @ young man who goes with a girl friend of mine. He seems to Uke her very much, yet whenever I am around he pays more attention to me. I dan't like to cut her @ut. Should I give him up? FLOSSIE, Be cautious about giving your entire heart to your “friend's beau.” He may be courteous to you only to please your friend. I have known of such eases. It ts easier for a young man to gay pretty nothings to a girl he does not love, but only admires, than to say them to the girl of his heart, to whom, fm the presence of others, he some- ‘times appears indifferent. Do nothing rash. If'you are hs choice he will find a way, Afflicted by His Beauty. Dower Retty: AM a drug clerk and considered very bandsome. Nearly all of the ‘young ladies in the neighborhood come Into the store and try to engage me in con- Yeraation. There is one in particular In whom I am very much Interested, and thought she was very muctim love with me, as her actions gave me every reason to believe It. The other night I saw her tain the formal declaration of his affec- rour s all,and you must go to work and for He didn't quite propose tn the country, of reminiscence fou may—heve—ces And then the letter does mit come. k, perhaps, he got your address wrong, no answer. Well, you have taken a Den't let him be the first to laugh at . ering an fce-eream—saloon- with an- ther gentleman, when she knew I was atching. Do yon think she Is trying ) make me jealous pris she fickle? PERPLEXED. gs her temperament, It 1s 3 tell you, It may be that she only admit yor tood looks and ts not in love with you at all. I have known of such ca: Do not imagine At thore girls are all in love with you. Not Worth Having. Dear B KNOW a very nice young man. One night he brought a friend around to See me and his friend tried to cut him out, but did not succeed. I gave my friend's friend a picture of myself and he tore it up and sent {t back to me, and he also tore up another girl's picture jus: because he got fealous be- cause I did not treat him as well as I did his friend: The reason I ald not treat him as well wan because he talked all the time about girls he knew. Since tien he wrote mea letter of apology know And wanted to come ground again. Should I accept his apology and treat him as before? Wo A. I would not cultivate the acquaint- ance of A young man who has no more justice than’to try to “cut out” his friend and no more-control of him- solf than to tear up-a young lady's photoxraph, and no more courtesy than fovend It back "to ler torn “up. 3s friendship (1) Is not worth having, much less himself. HINTS FOR. Lady Cake. ALF a cup of 14 cup H sugar, 1-2 teaspoon lemon extract, | 1 -yeaspson raniiia: creme teeta: Add whites of 4 eggs beaten stir, 1 3-4 coup of flour, 1 rounded teaspoon of Potato flour, 2-3 cup of rich milk, 2 cof- foespoona of cream of tartar, 1 coffee: | @poon soda, 1-2 coffeespoon of salt. Bake | in a ten-inch sheet 3% or # minutes, moderate oven, and frost with mocha frosting. Dutter, 1 {ce Cream, E quart of milk, 1 quart of cream 12 can of condensed milk, 1-2 package of powdered gelatine. | Bweeten and favor to taste, freeze and | let stand two hours. Scald milk and ‘condensed milk together, turn cream fi THE HOME. Into that and let cool, thon sweeten and favor to taste. Deltcious. Picnic Fare. GOO}. ides for a micnio adjacent to buildings where things did not have to be brought far Was recent- ly carried out successfully. While the menu fs not elaborate, everything being freah and wholesome the repast was voted a great succes#> Permission was given to bulld u fire in a grove, A large iron frypan ‘was carried out, In whch to makb chipped boet with cream gravy, Coffee wax made also, und ham was berved— cold. AWOeT Datter “Aid Byratoga~ chips” went with these. and the repast was com- ploted by fresh berries and beked cus- tards. Jt was all good farm fare, noth- Ing expensive, and yet every: one safd It was nice and pleasant little picnic, without much preparation. 5 OR reasras tinnecessary to dwell has put up her winter's suppl: upon, Mother Hubbard arranges her Jam fn uuch & way that she can keop.taba on the outgp, ves has placed the same quantity. of Jum ' Lanow. We are ait! sorry. y in jars-of three sizéa, end upon esol dispose of as -much jun Boarding House Fables. By Joseph HI§ article 1s certainly severe’ on you iris,” I said to Tess Inet Sunday morning, referring to # criticiam of the fair sex by a well-known writer, which appeared in that day's paper. “Wells you've certainly got your lamps open to-day,” she answered smilingly, and at the same time passing the fruit. “You win the Heal-cf-the-Class. for that. I piked that of myself this morning, and {t's just like everything else those nooly flap-jacks hand out—punk! “A little education, like blowing out the gas, or talking back to a cop, {4 a dangeroun tiiing, and {f some’ of those! Ink-Wells don't look out they/'il fall Into the dog machine rome day. and come out az brain food. Every time one of those whiskerinos wants another Buck tagged on to eee his Per he gives usm stab, and then he'n'the Front Pake or a week. Having your Thought Factory filled now's as easy as falling off] a car, and I'm not Educated Emma, with windows on my nose, but those yahoos h teach me to’ tle up my fufty-dufty. ; : ery time they make a dippy crack {t's about: un. we started all thé trouble with Adam in the first Mat, and kept it up since Last year one Rain-in-the-Face said all the blondes were wetting transfers, and next morning I counted twenty-six on one block, How ts it every broken pitcher ‘Is blamed on Mary Ann? Every (ime the paperas- fall over some old geezer doing the hermit act, with his finger on hin tongue, it's um that did it. Evéry time a Shining-Virtue kisses a chunge-factory goodby, with a ton of rocks under his belt, all the papers are, Bulldog. Jake on’the fob, with<a yell about some Mollie beir responsible. si ta about time we got the count. We've been a try-out too long. ‘Bolomon knew us from tne cellar to the roof, but he had to ring thrée hundred Marys before he was called’ Wise Mike, We're The-Only-Man-Around-the-House now, and if wo keep on driving trucks, carrying cannons, licking hubbles, running honk-honks, going up in alr bubbles, putting strong-arm guys underneath the They A. Flynn, table, pusning pens, punching keys, and night, the Jolins ‘Il be the car belind. to-day that we can®¥ cop, or a W Weak Annies. Slush! Why, little & trim four cops, while the trolley pole she travels with haa n¢inber eleven in the; igh cush to feed the rat in her mop. back o “Wo certainly get the Shove on the the gutes, forget Mother's Advice; and morning for a cent. Once upon a time milk, in the morning and a nice packs under the plaho, but now xhe's Wid hair, and next day he wonders how elicate pieces of machinery, and a shafts forever. Every: Band-Box Willic hubby's dope isn't Clarence, as long as he reads his paper, for J.cantt ntand crashing the bonnets, | The queer thing {# all those Whangers get collared in tha end. Hoe had ti up to his’ ears, but he was sore on| rusty old bats that's always making a crack about soak with us for four bir ns. He was one of tho days. There ain't » Mikes we can't do, his neck, and don't crag down en| many smack on the lps won't keep ann't always got his board, and every Directions-to-the-Golden- Shore. ‘T don't care two prunes whether 4 KUys © Rommy-Dum—or_a Pusset-Up+ © in every Saturday e wire on the boards and yet they call us the first loo could Kink home al epy-E rm now, but some day we'll unlock you can read the whole thing Wabbling Jerry blew tome with of Joy, and Soft Bertha bad to steep n-Wake-Sts on the job with the leg of .« We are were killed jn the wreck ud tn the Mary..Anna not amgunting to anytiing in. this world. He y he went and help him across the stropt. tis bunk, he waa’ his own skirt in the got his."” 8 Sour-Apples on the fa “Well, It's too bad,’* I remarked ‘sympathettcally. many more cranks, he djed and willed all “Dogs! vention fn tho sugar. across the street,” Home Ginger Snaps!" Tess answered, ‘He robbed the cradle, , Dear-Doctor on the Kalr, and whenever ut the undertaker at the corner‘d mark off nother day in, the book, He would Carpet Sweeper I he'd throw a ‘ft. But, Uke! every other, gooscberry, ho n't allow a Mollle to take @ pike at and-if you made-a nolse like a his money to the Dogs’ Home, eh?’ as she adjourned a fly con- EPISTLES OF ANANIAS== === By F. G. Long SURE! WIFE’S AWAYS SUST SUITS TIES THS 13. AUER 7 You Cort OR CHING WITH US! 010 You SAY EXT, er lad MR: ANANIAS = MISS TOOTSIE~ MISS WOOTSIE. “AW- COME ON,! {TS TIME 70, GO. HOME! ALEABED TO CIRET YOU, Good, fresh bread and Parched mouth quivering as though ms were under physical torture, her strained eyes ed on the énipty air, the veins in her throat swelling and throbbing till they glowed to pur- ple, Then ahe crushed the letter in one hand, gad flew, fleet as any antelope, throt the streets of the Moorish ‘hol quarter and across the oty to the quay, The people ever gave way before her} but now they mcattered like frightened sheep from her psth, ‘There was something that. .terrifed them in thet bloodless horror set upon her face, and in that fury of Teaistloss speed with which she rusted upon her way. Once only, in her headlong career through the throngs she paused; it was as one face, on which the strong light of the noontide poured. came bevore her, ‘The senseless look changed in her eyes; whe wheeled out of her route, and stopped before the man who had thus errested her, It wag Berkeley Ceo. He was leaning idly over the stall of a Turkish bazaar, and her and ‘gresped b’a arm before ho saw SYNOPSIS OF PRECEDING CHAPTERS. Bertie Cecil, officer in w crack British re ‘son lemtn, tar i feit'tne harne for's Sorgery chmnmtted by n rt other Berkeley, and with his iS 3 re to . where the rine by hie po pas 4 He her to ins CHAPTER XV. For Life or Death. IGARETTE, a day's journey away, was hearing read a letter from one C © of her, Zenaves: ‘ ner, ser nore (49) Cubs Mawes i Bales fae B8G f(r his face?’ she muttered. struck the Black Hawk-—« Naht blow, but], you pave ‘What are you to him? wetth threat t6 wil following it. He hap ie deen tried amd t to be shot. There ia no| ‘He imade no anmwer; he was toc ‘appeal to The Conseil de Reviston. Tho case | amazed. jo cleat; the Colomat could have out Btm| | ‘You are of his race,’ she persisted. down, wer that ail, I thought you should! “you are brethren by your look. It wae done on the night... of Ge fete 1 am thy humble lover and slave, i ‘Gignrette heard; she never made a movement or gave & sound, but all tho blodd fled out of her brilliant face, leav- ing it horribly ‘blanched peneath tts brown @titi*soorch, LPagaalg “The blow was struck for MiWk!* What ate you to him? “To whem?” “To the man who calla hinaclf Louis ‘Victor, a Chasseur of my army Her eyes were fastened entirely upon } keen, ruthless, flerce én this mo- ‘ment. as a hawk's. He grew pale, ani 7 Siena rece Net which never “Be stili—tooll"’ she muttered;| and there was that in the accent that lent & atrangg force and. d’gnity in that mo- ment to the careless and mischievous Plaything of ‘the soldlery—force that eee gyerame tlm. dignity that ovesawed nee ee repre mtgt) ou are of hé people; you have ts eyed and t's looks and his features. | He disowns you, or you him: No mat- ter which. Ho ls vot your blood; and he les under sentence of death, do you know that?" With 8 at{fled cry: the other recoiled from her; ha never doubted that poke the truth; none could who looked upon her face .1'DO not He. to qne,"" she sald curtly. “It avails you nothing, Read that,” She thrust before him the paper the pigeon had brought: his ‘hand trembled sorely as he hell it? he belleved In that moment that the strange creature, half soldier, ‘half woman, halt brigand, halt child, “knew all his’ story and all his shame from-his brother, ‘Shot!"" he echoed hoarsely, as she had done when ba had read on’to th “Shot! Oh, my God! and f?— as She drew him out of the thoroughfare} into w dark recess within the bazaar; he submitted unresistingly; he was filled with the horror, the remorse, the overwhelming shock of his brother's doom, A Contest of Wills. end. nd tried to fling her from him; but al that “wond ould have could tn the stupor o} had selzed Sim: he brought nim pens | And from the ‘Turk’s store at: Gictaked “went the wrote: & Brother’s Remorse. ing in tho name of Louls Victor is my clder brother, c heritance the Vikoount Royallleuy peer fof Wogland. Shat have succeeded to und borne the tlle {Megally she quitted him and vondy <b Under Two Flags. ~< >> or curiosity, or interest, : opner thé fingers only wound themselves} (ju! Montene ae a cow | prot oeer On iy er i Micts thal bore Upon the ~tate—of-+n8. condemned, ‘Monaleur, Ido not want your story: I am not used to men who let others siffer for them, What I want is your written statement of your brothers east ie he hjs. soul 1 sa seated Feat which ‘thereby affirm that the n serv fhe Gnamseurs dafrique under Bertie Cecil, lawfully by In- 1 herepy also acknowl under the supposition of is death. (Signed), ea SERRRKELEY CECIL.” ‘Then, swiftly as & swallow darts, iow on her head- jown through the pressure long way, @f the people, and ithe. thromes, of the tharta,(and and the movement of the streets, the noise, and the color, fhe had @ long route before her; sho 10h to travel, and there hud many } Were but four-and-twenty ‘hours, she know well, left to the man who was nd-twenty 1 to death. Fou open for appei no dalivery no more xecution of “He! will be shote! ano said with a ea de strange calmness. We shoot dowh| There. iss eh mary men in our army. T know him] ard her wall, He was justifved In bia act Todo] pees) not doubt, but discipline: will not atay for thal " 0 ngilence, for mercy’ sake! In ther no hope—ho ponsibility 2 Her lps were parched lke the desert sand as her dry, hard wordy came through thers. “None. His chief could have cut him down on the Instant. It took place In camp. You feel this thing, had told b done paused, to le th and foam, sho his foam-ftaked side cS ort sWeet grass. tha Krew tof water ran and made earth’ green The borse was! reeking with smoke em Cl bare and the blood was coursing ‘OU are of hia race, then?" hin’ flanks,<as sho reached her ¥y am hls brothert"* from ation at last, and. throw. Weraelf And. hypnotised by her Impertousneas,| oft his suddle us he sank faint and he told her the whole wretched story, "| quivering to the ground. Whither sho lstened. with her face set’ in Axed, resolute. command varied; she neglected wi) Bho that stern, Hd come Was to a fortress where the Marshal of France, who was tho Vice. poy of Africa had artlved’ that day 1a next the | We had «n old} “T/ suppose, like a good and married a Lizzie Frizsles @ | Bhe The J Family’s Daily Jars. By Roy L. McCardell. 6a TV, YOU ever notice that you have a, most tm- D Jeasant way of raising your voice?” asked Mr. , when Mra, Jarr had finished reproving one of the child: "I know 1 ~-that in, they Jarr. “The way mé, so unpleasant the way of raising “Oh, don't get ave a good many ways that. are unpleasant made unpleasant for me," replied Mrs, raising children is made unpleasant for t I have no doubt you are right about voice!” i y about it" md Mr, Jarr. only a hebit, only thoujghtlessness, I know.’ “And do you know { habit and only thought- _lesineas the way you Ond YaultT’ asked Mys. Jarr, comé now, I wasn't Winding (Kult, sett Ate Sarr, “I'don't know whet else were doing: I don’t know what else you are always yloing,” said Mrs. Jarr ‘witp's sigh. | “It'e all’ very, well for people who have nothing ‘to worry them to oultiyete a well-modulated voloe, but if they had to work and. worry lkeXI do they'd’ forget -how they spol together with’ other niceties of life that I hve forgot\ten, too. Stilh do you think it 4a kind to remind:me of it?” “ | “I really, think that we get into the around us without thinking,"’he hegan, ‘Now, for instanc: : cup or a dish. The child is frightened, he wouldn't have ‘roken the thing purposely. Instead, however, of cautioning the child calmly to be more careful next time, the parent will invariably, scream at the’ child, scola\ and abuse 4% and often shake or slap it. Me “This sort of thing goev on continually, and, to my mind, tt , wardens child: In its alsters or brothers or playmates, and when {t is old enough or bia to dare the thing it replies to the loud-voiced parent in kind.” “Children, leaye the room!" exclatmed Mra. Jarr. The children retucy, 4 did a0. x ‘Oh, don't send them out. I'm not saying anything!" said Mr. Jaz, “Ite XN “at least you can do it whan I'm not presant. But if you'do insist on encouraging them, call-them back and I'll leave the root!" “I'll leave the room myself!’ said Mr. Jerr. “Doggone {t: was only speaking generally, and now you'll have the children believing that i am scold. Ing you, and I was just*— “You just were scolding me!” seid Mra, Jarr. ‘You are always acolding mez nothing that I do is right tn your eyes!” “Great Scott!" exclaimed Mr. Jarr. ‘Yeu make me do just what I was tall ing egainst. I was only speaking about the habit of scolding for nothing or for little things, and here you've worked it all around as if I were doing the very thing I was talking against.” ‘ : “You mind your own business!” seid Mra. Jare sharply. “There ts no scolé- ing or fault finding in this house unlesy you- do it. I will run the house, you provide forty that's your duty ae es “Oh, very well," said Mr, Jarr, reaignedly. “I only know if ¥ come home and talk to you about the office you tell me not to talk shop, if X read you say} I'm not interested in my home, and yet whea i do try do talk of home things you always deliberately mistake my meaning!” “I do not," said Mra. Jarr, sharply. “You were saying that I scolded the ren about every little thing!’ ‘I did not,” replied Mr. Jarr. “I just mentioned generally that children were hectored too maich if they accidentally broke. anything about the house, and so “Huht said Mra. Jars, grimly. “Little Wile broke your meerschaum pipe “He did, did her’ cried Mr. Jarr excitedly. itr “On the contrary, I took ft away from him twice,” sald Mrs. Jarr, ‘but as he was scared when ha found what he had dene’— ~ “You aida’t-whip-him?’ said Mr. Jarr. ‘Indeed I id," sald Mrs. Jerr. “i hope you gave.tt to him good,” sald Mr. Jarr, “the little rascall” Health and Beauty. By Mar garet Hubbard Ayer. 4 For Wrinkles. ai franfineense, 2 grams. ql “And I supposes you let him have ould not recommend a: hatr tonic unless I kriew some- thing more than that your nair ‘Gry or olly and Ganérufft The pro- fave been using 1 and tt is probapie ‘hat, as the halr continues to full, you ané you will soon see great ienprovement in your hatr. persistently continued: row strips of court By Ouida <j Scena: queef Quick. “qtlok! fi ha progrese the provinces, her eager! over the tho: A your tones pouring hens theese | Horwe,“ake ikl WHIT HOt tne ton She pointed to the an! a your Fecend onger: rads may then they will not ‘Dhen, another second’s pause, she few "Brom ‘thane and, vaulting into the meddle of @ young.” horve which stood without in the courty with one hand, to the gaunt pile stone that brisUed with cannon the other. “HAav6 & care of him,and-lead-me te the eles.” The Marsha), leaning against a bi feld-plece, turned to her with the staile in his keen, stern eyes, “Monselgneur, I have come to resque @ Ikte—the life ‘of a great soldier, of @ guiltless man. Ho who saved the ‘honor of France at Zaralla ts to die the death of & mutineer at dawn!’ And, breathless, she told him all. Bhe ‘forced jnto hia hand tho written statement of Cectl’s name and station. All the hot blood was back in her cheek, ail the fiery. passion back in hor eyes. lashed this potent ruler with the scvurgr-of-her-seern-as_phe had lashed & drunken horde of plunderers with her whip, She was reckless of what she said; she was conacioua only of one thing—the despair that consumed hi The French Marshal glanced his eye y. mo ag & Gallop for Life, ‘There were elght hours’ hard -ldin before her at the swiftest pace hee horse could make, and she was ulroady worn by the Jeagues already traversed, Although this was nothing new that slo did. yet as time flew on and sho Ceasalonsly flew with tt, on the fragment, carelessly and cold! through ty Ap ho saw the Words he started, and | Srata now Yonge Bogue land, ber n with Wondering eagerness) | heart now aud ther aft afte Zignet ‘atliou!” he muttered — “Roy-| Addon mimbing fteineeos, Ma, with the weakness of her with scorn for It of her nature, and seed: ed in ity banishment: ‘There Whs a long silence; those prea-| Midway tn her course, whe; ont who knew nothing of all that was | ars, the “kitew “midnight huey yo? in ‘hig memory, feit insti atively that | the animal strained with hard-drawn Ama dead welght ot allen gullt wag | DADHNg gasps to anewer ie Gree ted off Diamelest life forever. made on him by ehe spur with weir te drew & deep, 1onK, sighing breath; | Was goaded onward, She naw his hot Know that he was safe. Hor hands Nnconaciousiy locked on ‘the great arms; her eyes looked Up sens in thelr rapture and tpgr dread | atratobed out th’ the ruotn, ny. AMatended Syedulls, hia neck’ eavwlny wth foam and blood, ts heaving tans ¢ seemed bursting With every throb she that his heart gave! she ki ‘ Quid, quick!!! she | gasped. The | half a league more forced her, fiat 4 nours Ko so fast; while we ‘speak here) ho would drop like a dead thing never i to rise again. Sho let the bridle drop ‘rhe words died in her throat. The} upon the poor best's neck, and threw, Marshal swung round with a rapid elgn|her srma above her head Witt a shrill Wailing cry, Whose despair ecto the nolmolese plains like the vey at m, shot-wtricken animal, She saw it allt the breaking of the rosy golden day! the open coffin by the oper grave; “the levelled carbines gleaming in the: fret 9, aft oflicer: ‘beng and ink! instantly! My brave can we say to you? I will fund’ ah aid to.arrest the exacution of the sentence. It muat be deferred. (Hl know the whole truth of this; if tt w } ica pow, we thall be Pa aah y Moma tt cebu ha A child used to brawling and quarrelling falls into the sams yabit with © “If you are going to encourage the children in disobedience,” sald Mrs, Jar, st Ete talrab ier R ree Sewn. it Aa