The evening world. Newspaper, July 25, 1907, Page 12

ole World’ ss Daily Magazine, : Time. Table. By Maurice Ketten. fs Hansanee Daily excep! Sunday by the Press Publishing Compa Park Row. New York. HELLO, Sonn | Ralerediat the Post Otic et Now ritkas Sesand SOING on Your vou BET Wubscription Rates to The Canada, Kor \_ VACATION at ony. G : in stats Union 60 | One year... One month... NO. 16, 7A. One year. -.45-- TRAIN United Statics One ‘year. oe One moni VOLUME 48%. 2A ROO PREPARE THE CEMETERY. IGHT Senators from Greater “New E York ‘voted against the five-cent Coney Island fare bill, it was aot a matter of politics. ;- Amdng_, the » eight are a Republican, threq of Mc- Carren’s dummies, McCarrkn him- self and other Senators w! a Sulli- yan or Murphy own. }; The people may soon have an opportunity to. get at them. : The new apportionment, or, if # - that is declared unconstitutional, the pporlionment of 1394, will compel these Senators either to face their ‘constituents again or to withdraw from elective office holding. That is swhat makes the action of the special session of’ the Legislature| on the apportionment question of such interest to e rery man, woman and child 0 One. month (Gre) 'T waa an awful moment at the annual lawn fete of the “Young Ladies” ¢ y Aloia Pleasure and Benefit Axsociation” The company was all grouped See SSE stiffly around a dancing platform and the social comnilttoe was in « fever of excitement because the musiclans had not yet come. “Whe are they askod one, “Belle's brother's band," sald another. | ofclock, and they'll be here. “It's five minuteg (o four now,” sald the first, “But if Belle promised they'll he here Belle’s as good as her word. There she js now A ‘glorious hig automobile was drawing up, fpirly apliling over with Belle's. brothers band; and Belle herself was discovered on the front seat Diushing and laughing. and thanking a distingulsted-looking elderly gemtieman who, with & amile ‘of amusement, waa acting as chauffeur. "I aakt I'd be here’ et four, didn't /17" saki Bélle, ax she alighted. ‘The atreet car ahead was deralled,-and it took « litle time to getithis gentleman to bring us up. but I sf we'd bo here at four, and here we are:! The Only “Good Excuse.’’ The ‘Aistinguished-looking old gentleman, wie teemed to enjoy the episode immensely, stayed a while to watch thé uancing, ard as we stood Ahere Belle told us a story. A Southern tand owner, she) saif, once’ went In f rage to ® ‘ negro's hat to complain that Sambo had not kept) hia promise) ty como ated cut , wood. Sambo's old vite: finally got,a chanen/to peak. oe have to "souse Sambo dis mo'nin’, sah,‘ she sald. “He's dead" is “That ta what I call’ a good excuse for not keeping your word," “Put it's about the only good excuse thero 18." It-was not diMdult to see why every girl in ttre Aloha Pleanure ami Benefit ——— Asnoctation hai! confidence In thie girl who had promised to bring the band at four. Se tookad you syuare-in-the eyo when speaking) to yeu. She did not myeak without ‘thinking, and: one could be sure she would|xeep her word. With many of jus making promises ts a mere matter of form, a cheap way to curry favor ahd get a reputation fot amiability und generosity, We will take tickets for balls, ‘fairs and raffles with a lavisi hand, only to retum them the day before the festivity unsold. We under:ake to furnish cakes or music or flowers for the party, but on the night. ‘oh where are we? Ws agree to spealt up for-an ‘unpopular cause, but at the crucial moment you can fairly hear our. silences, Few of us realize that all thin smooth, showy, false promising’ under- mines our character, hurts ourselves far more than those we decetye ami dis- appoint. | Folly of False Excuses. & Eyen If our intentions jn making promises are honorable, when we are ensily | overcome by difficulties in the way of thelr fulhiment we Justly Jose the confidence of our fellows, who know that “Hades ta paved with good intentions.” Our | unreliableneas comes to show in every line of our faces, in every tone of our | voices and every turn In our manners. Even children learn to scorn those who | put them off with excuses. I once knew two little girls who had been repeatedly | promised a drive, only to be disappointed day after day. One morntng I saw | them ruefully watching the departing wheels of the surrey which carted off their mother and father without them | There!’ cried the Uttle girl of sx. | the State of Tilinois:"* A promise is a very sacred thing, It should not be given lightly, and once given should be kept. No matter how plausible and clever excunea may be, they | do not take the place of deeds. Actions speak louder than words. People come |in time to carry about tn their personalities their surest “references.” And we | nay of the cheat: “I do not like Dr. Fell, the reason why I cannot tell.” In | some -undefinable way the unreliable come to be distrusted. and the rare girl who Is “as good ax her word” js recognized and honored in this disappointing: | land of easy promis: “Belle raid they would he here at @ DENG CONNECTION SEE PAGE 343 said Belle Kind in the State Legislature as misrepresentatives of the people of this city. The State Constitution ‘sequires that Senate districts shall he compact and ‘contiguous. None of these districts is. They are ‘ee! beneficiaries of an unconstitutional gerrymander. >The one Republican, George B. Agnew, misrepre- “sents the Seventeenth District, This district is a narrow strip five miles HELLO, JoHN ! DOES NoT GOING AGAIN CARR There go two of the biggest liurs im $aw to take in the colored vote and make the Republican majority so large that a misrepresentative like Agnew can he elected provided he secures the Republican nomina- tion. The districts of McManus and McCail—were} made overwhelmingly Democratic in order to make Agnew’s strongly Republican. In Brooklyn McCarren was allowed to gerry- mander by Woodruff, who is the Republican boss. Thus the people of Brooklyn who live in the Mc- Carren districts were deprived of their right to have a five-cent Coney Island’ bill passed. McCarren’s district was drawn with a soft-shell crab for a pat- He had Hasenflug’s district lines paterned like the trail of a @runken man meandering around a field. -, Such an apportionment as this requires a wholesale revolt fot the | people to have their wishes truly represented in the State Senate. With see eee A Glorious Back Number. E prosalc announcement that the U. 8. & Baltimore was placed out of commission at the New York Navy Yard, May 15; ad¢s the final word to the record of that historic ship as a unit in the fighting line of the national fleet. Whatever her future may be—whether she shall be used as a mine planter or a repair ship for the Meet—hef cruising days are ended and, an the Army and Navy-Journal Citi t eae henceforth be recognised merely as a glorieus olf — “back number.” In the nineteen years that have passed since she was launched in Philadelphia, the Baltimore has cruised in many seas and passed through stirring experiences both in peace and war. The Best Fun of the Day by Evening World Humorists, cent's worth of satisfactory service? That year after year people buy them | tured everybody that it came in contact with. I believe that if the Spanish In- : ‘and imagine they have done something for comfort, when, as a matter of fact, | qulsition had known of the hammock as s pain-maker it would have packed tts Th J ily”. 1 hammocks are only muscle-atiffening fakes, contrivances to hold you Ike a fish | victims into them, by the hour and done away with the thumbecrew and the 1 6 alr aml y S al y ars .| 23 monquitoes ating you and caterpillars drop in your face?” rac * “A hammock ts the most comfortable thing in the world. They are typical] --rhere are patent kinds that are very comfortable, Ones you can sit Im By Roy L. McCardell. of rest and recreation,” said Mrs. Jarr. ‘The very ptght of one swinging under | ike a chair, or that are spppad out and you can rest easy in,"' sald Mrs. Jarr. 46 P*s". {@s warm this evening! Wouldn't you Nke | the shady treew tsa ster that some tired ‘taring-x restfut “Tr ve trea thent Mr Jarr- “Tne "patent part breake the second dazy~ €arren's candidates, with Parsons allowing the election of the Sullivan Senators in New - Xork almost by default, there ts no remedy under the gerrymander such as this except a seen > wholesale uprisi perKor yepreexe| ‘Yes, it ja! It's a algn that some one haa left the comforts of heme—open | and the hammock lures on {te unsuspecting victims to come to Its embraces and (Uae PEL CS Ui tetas i Go plumbing, shower, baths, ice, good food and pleasant, places to resort to—to #0 | be made pore and stiff, to be hung up by neck and heels, to fall with him and hurt ‘ to some sun-baked shack on the seashore or the treeless and parched mountains, \aim. to make him sick $f it swaym: to be im the shade when not occupied, and $ to eat salty ham and ad eggs, melted oleomargarine and prunes. It meana—|in the sun the very minute some victim tries to use It; to catch the buttons of is about time aa hammock fraud was exposed. It Wks | Well, tt-means 2—hammock-and—unhappy—ten-minute-intervale—oftrring. to-get -clothes-in-tts-meshes_and- pat them—off, Hammoek-makers-shotid—be-hung-——- gone on {ta way for years obtaining attention under false | in them and to lle twisted up tn a net, aching in every Joint. but tied dowm and] jnstead of thelr hammocks.” pretenses. It's a fllmey swindlar” ~ tt ye that It's going to bust somewhere and injure your. spine ‘They look comfortable though’ sata Mra Jart 2 sa i Vall!" declares Mre. Jarr, “Bometimes I realty doubt | by bumping you down on the hard earth? “They lurk in dark places on porches and under the trees at eventide,> 1f you are sane! The idea of talking so’ ridiculous “Yfammocka are {deal for sweethearts to sit In and swing.” sald Mra. Jarr. {continued Mr) Jarr. “There Is a stumble, a shriek, and a fat lady has fallen “MDo you mean to tell me that you really believe a ham-| “They are.only Ideal, however,” sald Mr. Jarr. ‘They are not: practical. No |over them and {x hors du combat. ‘nildren fall out of thenb and break thelr ota futile, dod cheap Imitation of wore: | (wo peopre-can-wt-tn-n-hemmock;-tt-sage tn the -middle-and=throwe-them -9o:jcoliar-bones-Away-withr-them!! thing of no earthly use?’ asked Mr. Jarr. i omtortably tometh Sng ALTER SUS INs KAM, aT Me, TUFF, “IK we Ko to the country I want you to aet "I think it is-rery allly for a man of your years to rant “{ used to see you getting In the hammock when we were tn the country, !a nice, big hammock for the children and me. There are some that can be ade about hammocks dr anything else,” said Mrs. Jarr, calmly, sald Mrs, Jarr. Justed In every position, and are safe and strong.” z ‘m not ranting,” replied Mr. Jarr, “but did you ever | “Do you really think they are any good? asked Mr, Jarr. realize that the hammock has bluffed its way through life and never gave | getting « clair. “I aww them demonstrated in a department store, and they certainly aid The Cheerful Primer. somewhere? asked Mrs. Jarr. “A ecerabek ti said Mr. Jarr. “A hammock? A ham- bunco in all mutton or cross-cut saws or soft- shell crabs, but which divided the city in the simple and mathematica! manner which the Constitution pro- vides, would mean both obedience to the fundamental law of the State pat the-etiminatios -froni-the State Senate of T. J. McManus, J. T. McCall, P. H. McCarren, James Owens, George P. Agnew, Conrad Hasenflug JamesA- Thompron, Thomas H: Cullen. Letters from the People. No one ever had any comfort in a hammock; but it has tor- By C. W. Kahles.| “We ought to 2 wet one of them and hang JX,up on the roof,” sald Mr. Jarr. “I'd ike to lay off in a comfortable one once in a while, out I'm: aceptical. 111 bet {t's another humbug!” New York Thro’ ane Glasses _ By Irvin S. Cobb. Gi HE belief that the Foolleh season was purely a New. York {nstitution, generated by friction between the roof garden jokes, the street oar advurtis ments ~Serometo--einnwer- f\- ae find that it is spreading afar, attacking not only the hither- to Immune, but mowing down in la! swathe the more Busoceptible classes, auch as the members of the Harry Lehr trained animal pet at Newport, and the persona who Want to stand out jn the hot sun and argun the Moyer- ‘Haywood trial. Probably the most recent and promising contender for 1 the Dippy Cup is the local person who has just anuounced \ Free Ioe Water for the City. ‘To vse Wiltor of The Bvetfiag World: ‘To alleviate much ouffering, and a a Seierat ‘conveniences diirmg jne- hot weather, I would suggest that the aity the tickets, no matter which road they (Were bought, from, I can't see tha! there ts any more to tt but simply an @ of tickets between the dif- ferent roads. This pian cowld take in ' |, BLEACHERS might furnish the water supply toe cold, {n- the following manner; During the ‘winter months the ce which forms upon the water in the reservoirs could be col- Iroted and stored tn that locality, then when needed in summer a muffictent quantity of this loe could be dumped “dally into a suitable basin ot the outlet ‘of the reservoir, where thé water flows © into the-waterworka tunnel,’ This would —eoo) the water as it flows through, and inagmuch asthe water thereafter fows ndergreund, H would absorb little heat itil delivered through the pipes into homes, The Iee-oold water thus fur- would servo all the good purposes th @ more ‘abundant and conyen- VMokets Agnin, ening World: uh scred was meade \ 3 tioused fs as foolish ax it in take A é all the roads in the city. Let each road pring tts own tickets as ts Gone now Let them all be the same olor, but with the difference that each road has ite name on the back of Its tickets. . G. HANSEN A Sermon on Swearing, To the Eiitor!of The Mrentng World! Profanity seems to increase avery yeas, When I waa a boy my pastor used to say; “Satan baita his hook In many ways when fishing for sinners. He offers the pleasures of drink to the drunkant. the ple: # of gain to the tlef, safety from punishment to the Mar, the pleasures of the table to the glutton, &e, But, in’the matter of profanity Satan Sshes with a pare hook. ‘here ix no reward, no pleasure affered him. He sins for the me! of —tin—and+ rete penent—m ng ia ea useless, vulgar and idle’: ‘@ many who might w by fils Little sermon: FOUN SM UCI Tatrytown N. ¥ Race-Traék Lonnes, tor of The Evening World } “Mr, Dool hos wald that if th {betting © cloved there wouldn': race nd maken yesthird of people at Miy hush lens than tik & bis ten the allows ra. i} uppresses Kun : hijqultous. WORKIN WL. iiss Wi 4 seaethe |e that bis infallible system for beating the bookmakers woul: P have turned out al right if his boss's mone; had only lasted a Ittle Jonger. Never a Foolish yeason waxes and wanes but some genius bursts out of the Incurable Ward with a certain eye tem of beating the races. i: Weil, there's no reason why this should not be. The man who frames up the trap and sets the snare for the feet of the unwary bookmaker generally has lots of Ume for working out. and perfecting his plana, When he leaves the track for town he hasn't anything to do but walk and feel the linings tn his pockats and think out the details in the eyatem. And, during the long rummer nights on the park benches, when he I tying the soles of his shoes on with twine and @ wondering whether the present shirt {a going to develop gangrene before he ets the other one out of the laundry, he 1s In position to meet with many people of experience who will give him all sorta of valiable racing information that tw not availdble to the bookmakers. For the bookma! ride hurrtedly to and fro In large imported automobiles and lve at expensive hotels, yhere’ nobody talks to anybody else, except the wilter, and consequently they are debarred from-ail tiieso sterling opportunities for Jearning how to mucceed at thelr chosen yooation. 0 For some days we felt an inclination to bestow a chaplet of the frenh-plucked. yes of the Foolish Tree upon the concave brow of the Indiana patriot who ‘originated the movement to throw the thres-tined ‘ix into Fairbanks because Fairbanks forsook the chaste bumper of buttermilk which cheers but dove not Inebriate, although Jt sometimes clabbors, alas!—yea, fornook it for a certain exhilarating beverage containing edible souvenirs of the Cherry Sisters. But we wisely hesitated; and now we have decidéd to send the wreath to France, to be used an a wedding gift at the marriage of Mme, Anna Gould, nee ellane, et al., to the Prince Imbrogiio de ParamMne, or words to that effect. The enables’ inform us that not only js the Prince a member of the old Paria _ regime, and therefore « ‘true Parisite, but thal when it to Inclnerattyg ” the inflammable maxuma, he haw the lady's recent husband jammed through the back drop. s : " THE FUNNY PART: view lin Py olla term for good A person. who gets time off the first me always secma to Benker fore, second