The evening world. Newspaper, June 24, 1907, Page 6

Mark Twain Unloads Crop of Lemon Jokes On Easy Mark ‘King Ed -¢2—— His Majesty Has to Endure the Agony of the ‘Take Two Chairs’’ Gag and the Rest of the Gamut to the Tale of the Wrong Font Pants. You hetel that Mark Twain met King award in London? No? Yea? Well i te thir Ww: Whenever King American—espectally American humo: ward meets an i he meets an wants to heat & story, a funny Some there be @n this side of the water who aliege that King Edward wouldn't know & funny story if !t walked up to him and pulled his whisters, but of such de the Clan-na-Gael Of course, the King wanted to hear Mark Twain say sompthing Mughable. Mark lt one of the King’s superior igure and sprung this: || The Tale of the Two Chairs 1] “Joseph H. Choate was seated in t Bile inw office one Gay, when A 1 young man entered and in a rather f pompous manner announced “Il am John Jones! “An! sodd the lawyer, ‘take « wate.” : fT “"¥es," continued the young man, h ‘Zam the son-in-law of Gen smith.” t “ ‘Indeed replied Mr, Choate bowing low. “Take two chairs "Ighness was pop-eyed Sut game juat; about to inquire if Mr. caller was & Biameso tytn or | something on that order, dott you &eow, when our beloved humorist cut loose with the following: 1) ‘The Water Route to Heaven, | “A negro exhorter at a great re- "OSSTRKE, THEN NEW STRKETALK | HELPED MALADY HEAR BOSSES AND Bt TELERAPHERS OF LEWISOHN’ TURN TO WORK v= «oc Millionaire Is a iioellae From Railroad Laborers March Out to Arraignment of De- the Effects of Drastic Excensive smoking of the kind that cost H or the abouts each, and a genera! of the digwative organs inade recesmary the operation from which is0bn ie now recovering at Mount Minal Hospital De Morris Manges, of Ne 71 | Hargy Le Ban. h and robbed by >t them wearing th y, on Riverside Drive, identified one of he Centre Street Po | New York Central Rallroad this morn- ling quit work and began @ march down the night of May 23, | the main track at hl r ‘ that hls million cruits, and when One Hundred and Stx- atisfaoction ie felt suffering from ue, as has been Te * prisoners, Martin Mullen, Mr, peinted Aim out and sald "Here ls the man I nave scribe to the police and one of ti I have been looking for. Se eS ee who assaulted me. Le Ban hveo at the Scberter th street and River- ryre. He loft bie cub early 08 the moruing of May 2 and encountered One pintoned hie afems while the other three beat him lwhen he resisted and les him unoon- Le Ban recovered he was rotibers had taken clothes, Jewelry and 99 In money. | ie reported the robbery at tive Bureau the next he has visited the Brooklyn Navy Yart And all the naval vessels in the harbor. Jo ponsestiy was explained in various languages to}ing to tx the matter. If the com- ot all that le going on et his om | 4 fa forbidden to talk even in yas ,, Performed tact | om Saturday camed a scarcity of tracks | strike ir, Lewisohn te visited by ree tim: once every six hours through day and night. "That, the work of the surgeon's knife will prove a complete cure for the mal- ady the physicians do not care u> state will not admit that he is —— nude The awisobn, Bros., bankers an 4 of govper holdin, | ned deen unfairly laid eff from work. Slee Titian Russell leni'e room and cals enol GRANDSON OF HERO TS HELD FOR THEFT. | Se Manet wire ome seph Stiverman, of Temple Rmanu-El hed the Bowery and -the of sallogs throught the city. They fell in with & score of eatiors at No. 3 ory and with the sailors w ber_of men dressed tn otrtiian “That tat fellow looks ike one of the Mr. Le Ban told Stapleton, if he is the man he seflor'a toes that night.” given further consideration te their! the house. The black casket, relieve! Descendant of Marshal Ney f vive! in the South shouted # “‘Come up, and fine de army ob i { “Ine done jined,’ replied one of \ e congregation. f “‘Whard you fine? asked the | "Wy, chile,’ replied the exhorter, | *yoh ain't tp de army—yoh's in de navy!’ | This one sent the King to the ropeb, | but he jreturned as gamely as an old man cojilé. Just as he had framed « question relative to the connection be- tween aj baptism and @ battie-ship, the Merciless humorist handed out ove | And| This Old Timer, Too. » “Ade White, a Viewinia darky, | was arrested on suspicion of having { stolen chickens. When he was | Drooyit before the @qiiire the next | moraing he was axked: te ‘Abe, are you the Getendant tn "thts case? FP "No, sah, Yo! Honor,’ repited 5 de man what stoled de \ ie had never fated: | Abe. * ehickens | Be prepared for the next. it Wise Little Johnny Jones. 7% “A, school teacher was lecturing ‘@m natural history and told how the English sparrows had been imported } to Kill the worms on the trees In the | Darke. * “The sparrows,’ she said, * become almost as numerous as the | worms were.’ | “Noticing that Johnny Jones was { Inattentive she suddenly nshed | “Now, Johnay, which do you think are the worst—the worms or the sparrows? P “Don't know,’ anawered Johnny, 1 1 never had the sparrows. ‘1 i i | Ai the mention of Englieh sparrows King Edward preceptibly brightendd He imagined he was going to hear something that would allow him to twit Mark Twain with being a nature faker. As (he story proceeded tears filled the royal eyes and at the wind-up quired. Mark Twain disdained to answer, out burried him along to the Afth yarn. Djever Hear This One? friend Bena wtreet car Gay A litician was with him and the Benator handed the conductor tea eents A block or two further on the conductor went thro the ear again and Depew handed hi Snother dime But I bave your fares already protested th know ‘thie money ts for the compa: “1 thought Mr. Depew had to everything,” vobbed the Kin t never told me that, Is ft true that Mr Depew rides in « tram? “Phere was a time in New York Jong ago. wponded = Mark when they wouldn't have let him aboard ear on the Canal street crossyern In But here is y Majew’ a sure will Alt you in Buckingham Yalace her words rig » And iieasly and concisely.” Not That Kind of Pants A wrens Binithy ae boe Mad be | ‘fhe King started toward @ push but- | tom in the wall to eummpn the captain | of the guards. Twatn headed him off. |, Hie Majesty's rubicund | countenance |"was wrinkied into lines of perplexity, | Bracing himself with & paipeble effort not something of that kind tn ® song in the Mikado?” he in Depew telnet Oe Lauisane leks oe Incifiry developed ihat the “fat fellow’ waa @ deserter from thie bat josh Connectioult, leaving et Ham ton Roads April 3 He was prea 3 survetiance and when tt wae that he had disposes! of a sailor's uniform in a pawniiop be was arrested, Magistrate Walsh complimented the | Meutenants on their work and sent Mullins to the Tombs in default of 33,00 dail for examination on Wed- nesday. PARTY FOR CLASSMATES AT THE NORMAL COLLEGE. Miss Ray Suteskind Entertains Those Who Have Just Been Gradyated With Her, Mine Ray Sureskind, the daughter of Au ip) Suemskind, proprietor of Terrace Garden, gave a party yesterday after- poon to her classmates in Normal Col- just’ graduated at the head of her class. of the most popular girls in the school tak. Her guests yesterday were rene Silberstein, Madaline Laursberge: tela Piokus, Annd Susskin 1E | Katnarine Bra Bptmson, Ruth Rothechild, — [waver “AD THE cattrey, Sennvows!/? anna < Patelie Danziger, Fyossie Sim | mons, Meiaine Brand, Irene Alkow, Hi yanziger, Bila Danziger, Kathr ng, Syivia Frank, Helen 6: tia Peppers, Hebeoca Mar Jeanette Brooks, Edith Lescnin EYEGLASSES WILL BEAR HAR Fitted to Your Glasses for 35 Cents. Soild Only at Our Four Stores WAH Towis 54 East 23d St., near Fourth Ave. 489 Fulton St., BROOKL _Ovvesite Abraham & htraus’s NOTED FOR FAIR DEALING” SitAve & Q!St BROOKLYN. CLOTHING For the Entire Family, Down 50 st $ and c Werk 4 Gn a Parchase of $10, sav sumoav mer vow || FURNITURE ; Pane Pre Bund and Everything for Mnusekespin; wing Ie® wes enforced bs prtome « or Uke Oty places where With Typewriter (Machine) in Possession. Borie haya Sielaip, wits ol ‘ONE CAR-CRASH VICTIM DEAD. |*“ise Sex"fo% age man, who talled volubly with was in the line of prieot 4 up in the Central OMoe at Police Headquarters to-day, He said was a grandeon of Marshal he Tenowned soldier of France papera to prove it release tim for «| , of the Delancey Station, passing the conlyard of John Milan, at “offered to briny {tne police woul couple of hours. | Hospital, from « fractured skull ye-|Commisstoner Moses Herrman. | collided with an tnsuranc ' place. private EVENING’ WORLD,S MONDAY.” JUNE 247 1902. PUED QUT TAR PLACK CIGARS ~ AS HIGHWAY MIAN IN COURT LINE Le Ban’s Indentification Leads] ators to Get Work Causes Much Complaint. of Yards, Turn Around and Unies the Western Untcn ‘Telegraph f ah Company takes decisive action in the March Back Again. matter of retnetating men alleged by u unton to have been discharged for activity In organising the operators the Fer neers toate nat ace ee ht its efforts of Predent Roosevelt's peace ur one ¥ ba commissioner, Charles FP. Neill, will pipyed et the Mott Haven yards of the amount to nothing. Fourteen operatore—nine men and five women—calied on Supt. Muiford to- Gay, applied for reinstatement aad were [Pert down, to the Grand Central M®ation. At various points along the road the strikers were joined by re Part of the peace agreement signed teenth atrect waa reached the crowd |/@st weok was that these fourteen mon numbered 300. and women should get thelr old places At @ tunnel entrance @ eeotion fore. | with the company. man threatened the men with arrest if) Acting President Konnenkauf, of the they entered. The strikers, according | Telegraphers’ Association, was in con- to the railroad officials, were led by a ference with President Clowry, of the |\ebor agitator, and when the situation | Western Union, until late to-day tr~ | the strikers they returned to work. |pany falls to eeinstate the fourteen In Ut appears that the rush of business question, the telegraphers threaten to |pn which to store pamenger trains. The \men who quit to-lay are at work at BANKER ISIDOR WORMSER the Mott Haven yard on tracks used for making up trains. The tracks, the Central office say, were meeled to re BURIED AT SALEM FIELD. eve the rush of business, The laborers were held eff Saturiay and told to re-/Many Prominent Persons Pay Last port yesterday. To-day they helt « . t Pi Pay masemeeting and decided that they} Tribute to the Dead Police Headquarters was called on Millionaire, the telephone by General Superintendent | Bradfeld’s office, and Sergeant Con- polly and the reserves of the East Bix-|rerqoon eO® wpond = begarernd ty-seventh street atation were hurried to| Srvice was aceducted by Rabb! a sna | The funeral of the late Istdor W: In the meantime the strikers had/ The body lay m the drawing-room of troubles and decided to return to work | only by the silver nameplate, was They marched back the tracks and at/ banked with flowers, which came from | Ml e'clock resumed work | the family and the host of friends The ——— | most conspicuous piece wee a wreath ht feet across, sent by the members York Stock Exchange. — jaune were not wufficient to sccommo- (date all who came to pay—their re- Baxter Was Caught im Collision of | spects, and there was « constant stre: Trolley Fire-Patrol Wagon. | he pee Sinai: tai aeua tens eeceem Robert Baxter, thirty-five years old,| were Henry Seligman. William Gug- euheim, Samuel F. Sclseffer, W. died to-Gay tn the Long Island College 7 ie age ak gr Rg celved Saturday aan tee eae hort service ‘for the t Bo y wie excorted to He was walking at Sc and Dean | Sitide Cemetery, on Boag trojley car East New York. patrol wag-| This eveningy at the famfty home Dr verman ‘will eonduct m memorial on, ang he was caught under the Moe the im 1 I agen wheels. He lived at Na 80 Second | tno itetin eC thetiowe Tom ath te streets, Brooklyn, when lege, from which Institution sbe has Two Blocks on Jue Wes bubs Que Vaiedsorma and one} /Neill-Adams Co.)2:::: Mies Sueeskind, who is i hor fifteenth | Sixth Avenue. year, will enter Barnard College next 20th, 21st & Established Forty Years. } Minees Carrie Mersx, Ruby Pinkus, The Invigorating Ocean Plunge Is More Enjoyed When You Have a Real Good BATHING SUIT ~ of Your Own Hundreds of correctly made Bathing Suits for women are ready for this sale to-morrow and the prices are very much less than regular. Gertrude Pimken, Majory Simkpn, Jo- ine Bmith, Boptie Metz and Ida To own your own Bathing Syit costs much less in the end than to hire one, not to speak of the advantage from a Those we have selected for to-morrow’s special sale are well tailored, made extra full and sewed with ct, first-class, high-grade suits in every particular, sanitary standpoint. jevery possible test against slipping, shaking or tilting if or. are fitted with the I ; : ted, $'SUCTION CLP. Inspection and Comparison Invited, Suits — trimmed with | braids, regulation model. Value $2.75, "$4. 95 | Women’s Bathing Satta ai’ Mercesised Women s Bathing Suits of Mohair- ~ with novelty braids, Value $3.75, at .. Women’ + Bathing Suits of English Sicilian—plaited waist and skirt, extra full in cut, 7,00, at , denkoia skew aus a4 alse enae $4.95 | shor t mo 4 West 125th St., near Lenox Ave. hort walst model 442 Columbus Ave., Sist & 82d Sts. plendidly tailored NY EITHER BUILDING French Poplin—excellent in quality and last- trimmed | ing Hare, fast black, trimmed with silk flat nov- elty braids, plaited waist and extra full $2. 95 | skits and bloomers, Value $5.50, at.. $3.95 ——|~" IN EITHER BUILDING Great Remnant Sale of White and Colored Wash Dress Fabrics at Less than Half Former Prices. To-Morrow (Tuesday) we will place on sale on special tables all of this season's short lengths of domestic and imported Cotton Dress Fabrics. The to 12 yards and are suitable tor Ladies’ and Children’s Choice of the following fabrics— Scotch and Domestic Ginghams—frish Dimities—French Organdies—Voiles Dotted Swisses—-Panama Cloths--Scotch Plaids—Loliennes— 1 -Chiffon Cloths-~Sateens-~Percales—~Mercerized Madras—Silk Organ- dies—-Galatea Cloth—Poplins—White Lawns-India and Persian Lawns— Lingerie Cloth and Figured Madras, &c. lengths run from Remnant Pri a Se eee wa | {Wash od | Wash Goods | ay o worth up to | 2 if | | 40 Yard; 58c. Yard; || Remnant Prige Yard Remnant Price. Yard, ago, since when this business has been recorded as the most phenom- enal success in the piano industry. A piano that does not live up to the standard of excellence claimed for it may fool some people into a first purchase, but can never maintain a reputable name, It is easy enough for a general bargain store to have a local name stencilled on a piano and make exalted claims aboutvits artistic merit and the money saved; but this can never alter the fact that sooner or later the pur- chaser finds that he has paid dearly for his experience and that the real maker is hiding an identity which positively has no artistic value, have always maintained a reputable name and have Commanded an equitable price because of actual value and genuine artistic merit. This reputable name for near to every purchaser and is to-day a guarantee tl interest and insures a permanent musical satist Sterling Piano has really done and is really doing for those who purchase it that places if in an exalted place as an artistic piano the world over Sterling Playerpiano its great possibilities as a musical instrument, and almost limitless means for entertainment, so far exceed the ordinary piano that to hear it demonstrated is all that is necessary to cap Those in the Bedford section who love to stu bilities of this remarkable piano will be given every opportunity and onvenience at our temporary under the direction of our most competent demonstrator Free recitals every afternoon and evening. You ar whether you have any thoughts of purchasing a piano or not the Sterling Pianoco. 518-520 Fulton St., cor, Hanover Place, Brooklyn Sl. For Infants and Children. _ t— a ta>] a) = a. =< [—] | —j = & 3 ye In Use For Over Thirty Yearsi = Yes GENTaUr comeamy mew rome Ory. Reputation Is an Absolute Safeguard Charles A. Sterling establisned the Sterling business over 47 years Sterling Pianos y half a century y has been a protection at Safeguards your ion, It is what the The indisputable perfection of the all lovers of music. y the marvellous capa- Branch, 1234 Bedford Ave., cordially invited. Reserved Scats for the Brighton Music Hall May Be Secured at the Sterling Warerooms. OPEN SATURDAY BYVENINGS. 1S THERE LIFE BEYOND THE taped