The evening world. Newspaper, June 8, 1907, Page 10

Evening souecersar’ Daily Magarine, Saturday, June — 1907. men ote ON ‘The Evening World’s Laugh-Makers} Bnrered at the Post-OMoe at No reer VOLUME 47. ere | The Chorus Girl Laments the Lack of Tact ‘Shown by. Fires. CCORDING to its sworn report t , By R L. McC Bindings fide an een Pied ofa [house ae long as you ask others to share tt, he he the State Railroad Commission the) y oy cCardell “Dopey McKnight #ays nobody that doemn't have | no use now for his hot-water bag except to keep his fol Som-| tin bedclothes should trust themselves to go to sleep | cigarettes tn. Interborough an Com- “ec you want to ge is the 4 reseonable hour is the Giptiins at'ens Warenael “ome Dopey dayy ie he/eomeead oe fee De | b $926,501 applicable ssoge a sitar far, | imlens they have thetr hot-water bag Allied tn casel na Keep hie cigaretien jn his sock and Freon of fire A hot-water bag ts your bedt friend, Dopey says. He never trevele withdut one. He never travels, but that doesn't matter; hin hot-Water bag ie his most cherished posseaston. Nobody ‘mends the poor slob’s clothes and the holes in his pockets are something hot-water tag always ready to extingrish the rag ing flames “For, Dopey: says, if he was at the Baransc and the weekly fire broke out in the daytime when he war fast asleep, What good would {t do him to anac with your pleture undet your pillow, Wd the Chorus sir, “Phen, soon me the weekly confiagration gets well under to pay the last quarter dividend Instead it declared a dividend of $2,341,878 This ts -specifical prohibited by 4 way, you wide down the fire | nog escalate down the fire-ercapes? Ie he a ski? Would the Stock Corporation law. Every encape with the picture and «ty frot, ae he says, the holes are 00 big that tt| he be ricturesque nga thrilling rescue scene? Would 3 + 7 vi pote ren or who Vv for this divi hand ft to a reporter, but De | googn't matter whether ne pute things tn at the | the M Le ehaghd me . hie Lp tape Pepredwond,. ev is individu liable to ré-! sure you have your name. and ion or shoves them up in from the bottom. Bo he| if he save {t-to t cartes Gend 1 inal! sie the last company you DIRYG | carves his cigarettes, when he had more than one ‘The only thing for tilm to do, Dopey sayy, when nd if with on the back. For them J ; | awakened the crackling of the devouring rlement, mci it. in @ hot-water deg. id is to induce } would be to cuss\a little at a hotel that had fires : just when a gentleman was getting his sleep. Then he could grab his trusty and well-filled hot-water t up, put out the fire and go hack to bed. seporters t¥ that forgetful! “How he got the hot-water-bag habtt was when he “The Saranac may be & Uttle | way playing the piano with @ ten-twent-and-thtrt [ott ol fashioned tn some things, but st wurely KNOWR| Jaen Arthur Stanford, who's’ now im ‘Fascinating & is water. ‘The dividend was| now to eater to theatrical people Whore’ Gt the Onatne. The reason this fictitiou: 4 illegal di $nnoceni: investors to buy the st The law should be enforce uneamed, The balloon should be promptly exploded DON'T FORGET , (saved aT vast! [REPORTER MY } | wene’s MY LATEST) (<<< WHAT WILL THE MEN DO? || (bee's Name al a > he You r ISS FLORENCE BRUNING was iS KIT ee i graduated at the head of her class) ( | ( in the New York University. Law Schodl. The ninety-six men stu- dents all ranked below her. Year before lest another young woman, ce Dillingham, of Englewood, stood at the head of the class. In the put cational colleges and whereve women come in ¢ men jn recitation and examination the fwormen av t prizes than the per- centage of ir numbers warrants. At machines which ¢ 4 require great physical strength a woman qwill turn-out more Work than a man. She sells goods better than a man. As a cashier or in a’ jog of and confidence a woman is mote honest and s ¢ than a man. With the entry of women into the professions their success is greater than that of the average man lawyer, d ect. In de- signing, interior architecture, decorations, panels, stained glass and the | fike women are more and more crowding out the men. What are the limitations of woman's superiority to man? ee ae Miss he men and take m xlor or arc “Soon as the confixgration gets well under way, you slide down the fire escape with your photo and hand it to # reporter!” It nevor pas its fires on matinee daye; and fory “They used to play them moral middie-size! towns | “Mamma De Branscombe said that was Just lke a Miwayr having them in the daytime, when the girls | where {t wan considered @ faux pas to chase the man, only thinking of hie seifish se : are as 1 ready tn thelr rooms (o be waked up | growler, “Think of the poor girls who had been busy all and rescued, 1 cal) that kind. | “So Afthur Stanford and Dopey would take turns, week putting pink ribbon bows on their kimonos to “Bu every other fad, it's expensive. A girl | when on them moral week stands, at having neu- look cute when they were rescued, Mamma De ralgta. Branscombe said, ‘and then to have « man spotl all AVnen they was encountered on the astaire with neces of their getting a good notigh in the fire jo of changes of rescued-at- he hot-water bag they used to say they was going newatbytaking a pesky old hot-water bag and sub stage clothes. deen to the kitcnen for hot water, because none of duing the raging flames before a gtri could as muah { says fires makes him nervous, |them Jay-town hotels or boarting-houses have th + Ret her daytime make-up and her pretttest night- on the stage that Ikes excitement and press notices and #o takes a room out Louls Zinshe'mer says that's because Dopey | water upstairs clothes on and beat the other blondes to the Broad- an't stand prosperity “Then they'd hike to the nesrest cafe and have the way fre quoape “Dopey said it wasn't that, but at the Saranac they hot-water bag filled with beer. That's no bunk, kid ‘Mamma De Branscombe says, with such iGears as jon't provide the guests who emoke cigarettes tn bed You just ast Arthur Stanford he hes, {t's no wonder that Dopey Mokaight never with tin bedolothes, Ike Manma De Branscombe, who “Of course, living in « civilized community ike know how to gather the kale, and ts always broke in economic competition with men, women have many advantage 's always jooking out for his comfort, does for him New York, such eubdterfuges is ry, but and no use to himself or bis friends, Nee, Ht . boas “That's true, kid. Bince che iast time he set the Dopey has a sentimental regard fo: pt-water Him and his old hot-water bac! Say, 1@ ain't at the start. Their intuitive power is great. They can tell instinctively |..4 on pre Mamma De Branscombe makes hia vag, so, living with lberal-minded people like Dopey the big boob? cn what pleases or displeases an employer or a customer, . They are quick }on a big sheet of roofing tin she sent the maid up ho dogs, who don’t object to your having beer tn Yhe| “It's enough! to learn. A woman's power of imitation is instinctive. > Also a woman has fewer distractions than a man, Her interests are S A t . H 7 less numerous. The feminine tendency ts to specialize, not generalize t Vere W a S . 4n trying a lawsuit she would regard her client’s case as the only pos F sible way in which the matter could be viewed, and her sincere belie/ By Maurice Ketten. would impress the jury and the court. But what will be the result should women crowd the legal pro- [ewepeter tc fession and displace the men, if they crowd men out as doctors as they STRAW HATS have already supplanted men nurses, if they take the place of architect as they have taken the place of men designers, if they become engineers @s they already have become draughtsmen? What will the men do? Many of these men have wiv ff their own to support and children. Waturally, with the incres ion fewer men a cial burdens by un ing to s port a wife also, and fewer men wh are already struggling to support a wife add to their financial cares t ¢ having children. i In any competiti { fessions or in business betw pnmarried woman and the S. reread vam le ei gan with a family, tt nat NO. (STraAw © = —— 1 N' 2 ANIC SOME THING) t fwith a mind more free from care. Without the worry of the hor aah | WANT COOL STRAW? | NO NOBBY IN cine ne) | ANICE t i ab Hi | FUR. A PANAMA In oe Ian te) STRAW JA RUBBER) LITTLE ' t ties and with limited necessary expenditures she can afford to work MAP fat 8187 LEAs ee Aw | HAT? car | PANAMA { @heaper and still have more money t { more hours of recreae] {* \A STOVE \ | font to D spent it in than if she : Letters from ‘the People. ¢ The Man With the 61,000. we ’ * Evening Worl 1 read letter of the young who, 6.00, oaks A @ young man J would find work In sor oMoce as ork and invest the & te s Adress ng ~ Beal estate, bu f Jation, then @ble profit, and buying sem f Gifferon: sage ways tr With contemet and Should t pone ompted to #0 his com. | oe = 4 lady while « reheat STRAW HAT ; The Pension suggestion y he would tanges yt we £ * J 0: of reapedt t © . FUR dyeay Be we Waiter of The Bvening W anon of rae * ) t lmcerning the plas | do | Wann) pensions,” I would Like Vor Another Bridge Words & regard tom if A Pvening W | @nter my wixty tire! vee ' across of a pe med etre t yake tor old p : , New mane hy ) HOUSE ane LO know how muc e wlong the Hudson on the Jer A+. Nt Feta ed by many tm re & » ™ a take Ww roman, | pray that (he time will " plown ferrie@o and from work Prhen old age cen be lovked turwerd to| Also, there ure thousands of acres of Bnd respected Mrs. MASSE on mendowland, known ae the Jer sey fate or salt meadows, within ter + Mtreet Cor Hudences, minutes ride of the Penneytvente BAttwr of The Wreuing Werte tion ia Jersey City. Thies could be| fe be riding on @ west-| drained, made healthful and wupply sire erosstowsl innd for countions homes mee Meuped FOL BOOM. i New York Thro’ Funny Glasses. By Irvin S. Cobb. From Hi Glasses to Green Glasses, NEW YORK, June & BAR GREEN: As time passes on, bringing me everand ever ctoser to that last promissory note, I find thet I am getting to be more and more of a New Yorken When I first came here I could hand a haughty walter « dime as a tip for bringing me a frugal order and still gage @nadashed into his cohvulsed and outraged chart. But now I meekly offer him a heif in an apologetic and cringing man- ner and then dodge. Also I discover that my appetite fs a fitful thing and he declines to be tempted unless | spend for my dinner about $8 more than I can afford Yet I recall,that when T was coming here on the cars and went into the palatial dining coach the bill-of-fare jooked so kind of magnificent and adequate that T ate all the way through It, from the mess of four little blue clams that had been away from water eo long they were dusty to the preserved peaches with canned cream and cinders on ‘em; and then I returned to my plush seat in a torpid and gorged state end couldn't enjoy the scenery of the adjacent Jersey meadows, because my eyelids wouldn't stay up. At that period, also, a S0-cent table d’hote (pronounced to rhyme with “shete,” Green) ame mighty near fulfilling my Ideal of an epicurean spread. But, ae I eay, the salubrious osone of Manhattan's biessed isle has cured all that in me, But what convinces me more than anything else that J am entitied te be em o'led in the soctety of the Real New Yorkers is the fact that I can't see anything kood tm this town while I'm in it and I can't mee anything good anywhere else hen I leave tt. So I'm playing Hammer to win all the time I stroti down Hroudway, The bright ght» burn tn clusters in front of the demon-rummeries and the how shops. I mingle with the typical New York Throng Of CArs-free amusement seckers I know at a giance they are the Te-free amusement seekers because they all have tired facds and they ere oping along nervously and many of them are quarreling about something and others wear eet, fixed, gloomy expressions, which would lead you to bellewe that they were hastening to the bedside of expiring friends. And I say to myself, with bitterness of spirit, that after all ‘tis but @ tines! counterfett gayety shadow and heartless and fale, a veritable hollow mockery. Once I even called ft @ mollow hockery, but that was late at night when I ad been to @ club,emoker and was fillet with the sort of philosophical reflee Hone @ fellow so often accumulates and brings away from a club smoker, with other things: ao I will pass over that occasion without further eomment. Rut Just exile me for about four days In one of those inland metropollt that are built nround @ packing plant and a Carnegie library, where they burn eoft coal, domestic cigare and coal off lamps. That's when the lights that I thought were cold and garish ee I eaw ‘em along Rroadway begin to loom up in my memory like the gold teeth in a friendly amile. I start making comparteone , between New York and the town where I'm quartered that would not be guiteble ~ for use in a venir edition advert: « the other, and J catch myself drifting down to the depot to ascertain when a train, preferably &@ passenger traim ie Solng to page through bound for the Grand Central Station Bo I know I belong. 1 suppose the next time I eee Niagara Fells Pn ture away in dumb regret that euch a volume of water should be satisfied with fall- ing down hill when tt might better be employed irrigating ratiroad stocks te ©. H. Herriman’s office. Yellowstone Park can never be anything more to me than @ large stretch of untmprovea realty that ought to have flat-houses and real estate boomers scattered over it. Hereafter I shall think of Mammoth Cave as @ place that would make a good site for a new subway Providing it amelied worse, and If I visit-the Grand Canyon I am certain I shall find myeelf remarking that a Wall street skyscraper ts equal {n ecenic possiblities and away ahead of it tn elevator facilities and janitor service After which I shal! return home and resume knocking New York where Y left off. Yours, ———_— oo The Kiss Is Worth the Microbe. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. HIE American Medical Association now assembled at | Atlantic City has decided not to abolish the kiss, at least for the present. Dr G. W. Drake, of Virginia, had Introduced a resolution before the learned body caliing for “legal halting of unnecessary osculation But Dr. ©. W. Irion, a. youthful delegate, voiced the opinion of the Medical majority, which quickly shelved the unfeeling reso- lution, when he said “to undertake to buck Dan Cups@ would mean sure death for the American Medical Assoda- tion ye movement for the suppression of kissing by the Medical profession, though it has not yet met with the slightest popular encouragement, t* becoming general and widespre k « Liverpool physician de tle osculatory practice as @ distributer of spotted fever. And there te an increasing tendency among phystcians all over the world to discourage the mort ancient and pleasing pastime of the race. The Virginia physician, to be sure, limits hin demand to the “legal halting of uaneccssary oeculatioh.” ‘But who shall determine what eeculaiiee io teeta None;" the sentimentalist scorns the suggestion that nounced the ge sary? The cynic answers any kiss, from the first impassioned tmpact of new lared lovers to the final perfunctory marital peck, is without its value to the Individual and the universe, To my mind the sentimentuliat {» more nearly right than the cynle, Bvepdt physicians do not exaggerate the number and danger of the microbes that lurk ving lips, the gan sons not sentimentally inclined t rs is probs worth the microbe. Among par ix entirely too much keisaing. The general, n by public of @ custom which should properly be limited to lovers is both deprecatory and unjust, In Chicago @ Te Hgtous sect al strong, known as the Bahals, wae recently organised the members of which’ are elled to kiss each other whenever they meet, This is taking the kiss in vain, making It meaningless, purposeless and ctory, and Chicago physicians would do well to denounce the kiss fanal indiscriminate, perfunctory appre f | Kissing between » }for by the very parents who should protect his ri oolgiris and casual women acquaintances should aleo ‘be discouraged. Kissing of bables by admiring callers should be prohibited. Bhe basis of the kiss is reciprocity, mutual! consent. The poor baby has to be kissed by any person that takes « fancy to him, and his protesting yell is apologized in the matter. Magistrate Whitman decided the other day that It-t# no crime to kiss = girl in the street provided #he ts willing. ‘That seems to be the right idea, ang this principle of willingness if applied to children Would prevent the dissemination of many million microbes and tend to lintt the kissing habit to lovers, to whom $% belongs. ——+ ¢-o— < rep Cae Hard to, Reach. HE RETIREMENT of Lord Archibald Campb<li fron; the sctive manhae | ment of Coutts'a Bank after thirty years’ work brings to ming « tale which may not be true, but Is certainly very amusing. Lord Archibald foll in love with Mise Janet Callander, and went to lis father, the Duke of Agyil, for his approval of the engagement “I'm deligtted; nothing could be better,” said the/Duke, “But—er—er—hadn't you better let me speak to Lorne? He might think we ought to consult the Princess.” 60 to his brother, the Marquess ef Lorne-now the Duke of Argyll—they went, and he certainly thought that fle wife, the Princess, should be consulted as to who should be admitted inte the family, “If Archie likes her, she sulle me down to the ground,” «aid the Princess ingmalatvely, “But, you know, | think I ougtt to speak to the Queen.” Her late Majesty graciously approved of the match. "Bul, Loulse, 1 think 1 ought te onsult our German cousin frst,” she said, and accordingly wrote to the German Emperor. The Kaleer—the < Emperors grandfather remembered having met Miss Callander, and approved of the match, but jeft his letter open beenmes he did not care te inwer finally without consulting Bismarck, The Kaiser found his Chancellor, and telling him of the proposed alliance, asked whet he thought, When bis Sovereign had finished, Bismarck blew « cloud of smoke and replies “Me? Oh, I don't care « hang’ Frese meceartindtomenenninmnnes How Great Men Avoid Breakdown, Vu heavy are the burdens of some of the high oMfees in Great and leaders bave been driven to curtows methods to prevent Felior of the Exchequer he laid down feet of asphalt and gol b if & palr of roller skates That was his of mastering @ liver and the fatigues of office, Karl Spencer, when in during the darkest days of hie office? found Fiding fast and far the one to relieve his epirite of gioom, Gladstone out down the trees and translated Classica; Lord Randolph Churehill went Palmerston tougon hie against weariness in the very workely ‘The late Mir James Paget ae bim at work, standing at @ high desk, and told him that he really must more reet. Palmerston answered that It was impoasible; that it aad now come his habit to work whtle standing. Formerly he had been eo that_be used to fall asleep while sitting writing at hie table, Te conquer weakness he took to standing. "For," he said, “it I fall down that wakes ane, + The Gold From the’ Yukon. HIE total amount of gold exported from the Yukon territory i When Robert Lowe was Char