The evening world. Newspaper, May 2, 1907, Page 17

RE ial, THE BEST FUN —w«i> Of the Day. Written by Evening World % © et & FAumorists® The Jars of the Jarr Family By Roy L. McCardell.! * gai Mra Jarr, petulantly, “your rela ye you for a convenience!’ | the matter with my relatives nowT’ asked Mr, Jury. “T was speeking tmpersonally,” said Mrs. Jarr. “T my relatives I'm talking about. They write'me that theyll) stop off and spend the day and night with va on thelr way to the Jamestawn Exposition. I no they want me to| fo, along with them, but they don't aay anything about} payies my expenses!* “"" 4y your expenses tf you want to €o with them,” | eald Mr. Jarr. No, {hank you," replied the @ood lady. “I naw the Bt.) wa Exposition, and that was discamfort enough for ma. They are all allk 4 when you do wee them they are only! tween. .Luna Park and Dreamland at Coney | Inland and a lot of department stores.” | would be a nice trip,” eaid Mr. Jarr. | “ie would be a fine trip for me!” said Mra, Jarr, shrfly. “You know how your covatry « My country co * asked Mr, Jarr. “Well, mine, then!’ ead Mrs. Jarr. {It's all the same, They tnstst on rid- tng in the coaches In the crowd and discomfort, Just to save the price of | @ parlor-c they will go to cheap hotels, and they will earry lunch-| boxes and rr sin public with them and humiliate one, and then they and grt . I think those expositions are only’ enjoyed by “My, oh! But you are dteposed to be satirical to-day!" sald Mr. Jarr. “If rural relatives are on plea: bent and have @ frawad inind at the same time, what do you care so long as you are not going atong?” | “I would like to go,"' replied Mra. Jarr, “but not with that erowd And they | have « nerve to coolly write me word they are going to stop with us on their! way. I beven’t any room for them, and they know it. They have no const: | jon!” | “Don't you write them yeu'll be there to spend a week or so with them and * anked Mr. Jarr. : me, and, anyway, they have plenty of reom. “But what wo' s me ts what I stmll get for dinner. And I suppose Ill Pave terrible grocery bilis after they are gon: “When in doubt get odicken,” eatd Mr, Jarr. “I suppose Ill hare to,” grumbled Mra Jerr, “and otickens are awful Gear, Anywaf"—as struck with an idea that Mr. Jarr shovi4 ha put to some frouble, too—“you'll have to carve!” j “I never carve,” aaa Mr. Jarr. “You will this time,” sald Mra, Jerr. “You have your way about giving them chicken, »q you can carve.” The country cousins arrived tn due time. There were chickens for dinner, and Mr. Jarr carved. - ° “TM give Cousin Lucy the wings,” said Mr. Jarr, afably, “That wfl be a toate attribute to the fact that she ts soon to be marrled—take flight, you ‘The girl blushed and the rest looked on as if wondering where the connec- fon between getting married and taking flight with chicken’s wings was, “Aunt Janet's twins being Uttle boys get the drumsticks, of course,” eald Mr. Jere, ‘The twins promptly declared they @iin't want drumsticks, but no one pald any attention to them. “Aa Unole Wllltam contemplates opening another summer hotel," Mr. Jarr wrent on, “he shall have the second joint.” “And ea for you,” sald Mr. Jarr, turning to hie wife, “you take this gizmrd, fogether with my heart, that went to you jong ago.” . Aunt Janet rose majestionlly, “I ain't used to sech talk at meal-times,” she paid, “but what can be expected from @ man that’s fell #o far away from his church that he don't say no grace when he has respectable company? I see no Bign of intoxicating Mquors, but I'm eure I make no mistake when I do say that I am eorry for you, Clara Jurr, that before your own people te should be |}. Bhowed that your husband ts « drinking man!” “And if you don’t mind, as we hain't unpacked our grips,” sald Uncle 1p wewwtam, sternty, “we'll go to the deppo and take @ night train to the Ex-po- Bishun!” And so they arose and departed, leaving Mr. Jarr grinning and Mre. Jarr bm tears. “Can you beat that!’ sald Mr. Jarr, as the door closed om the last of them. “Don't apeak to me, after insulting respectable peopl: arr. “Uncle William eald they'd take me along if I'd pay my own expenses.” “Sind what Keay,” said Mr. Jarr. “They'll stop on their wey bagk.” f | New York Thro’ Funny Glasses > By Irvin S. Cobb. HEN @ Gelegation of our people cross the Harlem or W the Hudson to the Aimerican Continent and visit ‘one of the inland cities the inhabitants always start in to @ntertain the distinguished visitors from the metropolis by showing them the points of interest, First, of court there ts the formal address of welcome, lasting fifty-four manutes, by the boy dretor of the county and the presenta- tion of the large gilded wooden key signifying the freedom pt the city, by the President of the Board of Aldermen, repreventing the Mayor, who is unable to be presem owing to having a temporary tide on. After which the guesta of honor are @ivided off tnto groups of four and wadded Into @ number of gravy-boat barouches and aro driven out to Lovers’ Leap, overlooking Mink Creek, and given @ view of the scenery on the other bank back*of the slaughterhouse, And then they are shown the Carnogie Hbrary. and the court-ho and the fair grounds and the new tanyard,. which ‘eun not only be seen but smelled and tasted. And members of the reception fommittce tell them how many prunes or sideboards or oross-ties or neckties or at the ends > collars or cowhides they export each year and how many inhabitants the last But alas, how Scking are we in euch sentimenta here upon the native heath cengus gave ‘es and how many more than that {t would have given If the reports hadn't been in the hostile hands of an accursed Republican; and call thelr attention to @ comparative table of local bank clearings showing the average and hearthstone which we may fondly oall our own, just as long as we keep annual increase; and otherwise point with pride until their forefingers are sore ‘a paying the landlord promptly! When the sojourner from atar eomes hither the manifold wonders of what the true cosmopolitans galls “N'Y'k,” do vie @ spend any great amount of time giving him facts or figures tn regard to our | hipping and our commerce? I wot not, Not @ wot, not « half of ® wot, not have @ rich but careless friend, we take him out @m an automobile, But es we whirl him up Riverside Drive, whieh would prove to be indeed a handsome thoroughfare if we only took the time to slow up and look It over, we do not halt the ear on his account near the elevation off One Hundred end Twenty-third street. No, we merely say “Tomb of late U. 8. Grant's somewhere ‘round hi but you can't eee it owing te two of Mr. Ryan's fascinating and graceful eas tanks being in the ay. Anyhow, we won't stop, because there's @ place up here on the bill where es enw ‘et one poor drink for the price of three good ones and then we'll - up the Boulevard and maybe if we have buck we can run over somebody ‘porloceman.” other hand we are sti! Hving on & salary and haven't any automo him for « walk; and when we reach Windy Comers and he bends ¢ looks like the Boneless Wonder etarting after handerchief, in ‘nd itmber-necked friend, for ft te the Flatiron Building, #0 os it looks @@ much “ike « Satiron as it does lik wack of bit or a petting of exes At the base you wi observe @e ful of the Manhattan Voluntewr Hose Company wailing for ee aimean to This erructure is fustly rewarded as an arohttturs! mesos os it only known building ty the wovia that Is homelier than the New York OMee.” Nay,-nay, not for us! We leave that wort of thing to the orators of the ubber-neck wagons who get paid for doing it. We only grab him by the collar ent him inte an upright powiiion agetn and say in hurried tones: Flat'n Bids’. sad affair. How many stories high? Dunno. Did knew, “This te « thing worthy of your best attempts at the contertion business, wd Jed « count the stories to the top, we do not say to him in « kind way: | AH-AH! BABY MUSTN'T PUT PAPA'S WATC \ IN ft EY! Novellzed from CHARLES] ; , A A lk HE PUTS ONG a EVERY THING X& S MOUTH! L. THINK THE im HL BEA THING tS GOING TO HAVE-ANOTHER ) TOOTH! —~ KLEIN’S Great Play, By Arthur Hornblow | 23 ee een eee ee oe oy, (Copyright, 1906, by G. W. Dilling- ham Co.) SYNOPSIS OF PRECEDING CHAPTERS Ramng’ of king “John nove! Shiney Hoss Le young & Supreme court Dudes, has Os “aniriey, Ureon") purkett Ryd Caoabiee st Te Sonal ae {rust “ngnaye | Sounded in Bulrley'a ear like @ soft ca. has aigy Unknown author o“and writes to | resolves her coo! —— - rs te YWE elsi-t=i IAsi-lel-ii-t-l-te! R_LITTLE D iff NAUGHTY! * ae } NAUZ ‘ ‘The Evening World’s Daily Magazine, Thursday, May 2, 190 —- 4 EIR BABY * efelelefeteteteletetcedeleleteicie lel tedsteteiteteltetel leleleleietelste st HTY! vibrating with impetuous Bhe closed her ey otra! is ef languor was | foe! eu tealing over mfune | fer a mysterious, (hFil passed throug her’ whole body, The eternal, inevitable sex inatinct was disturbing, for the first time, © woman whose life had been sin- |fne' ‘itgnt al the: eclculaugne ‘and | th to fight @ calc whives her judgment had made * her to gy, abcepta the tn: | ‘The senauous 0 the place- > tiers in ge hi witth wil Shongfafs net'tatter"Wwie | te distant, splash, of the, esse. toe Te" atoat™to. bg" liveached. She. hooge” (9 ; Ta, a trarranoe oF whose | of” oye mg tees CHAPTER XIII. (Contisvuedi) A Love Scene. a a godeend to me,” he aid, rees and —e! | of the jay of life conspired to arouse loveshunger of the women, Why, ‘all, should she not know heppi- Vike oiner woment, ioe Nees sa t orm. Seid ibe te woll done because she | dyolined to stifle the, natural leanings | of her wagnanhood? Both soul end Jed | you. ive yourself to him, he te worthy Upon her oheekK! ro Mgnirley, I offer YOU ail the Gevouss fleetully, ““Thetr pian ls te get a man oan maki the bap married next Wednesday, tmat will mone of eee my father on Tuesday; I'M put the, evidence in hie hands, and I don’t wreck my life T ‘TH { wretoh men Only think well before you love you—1 love you! I will watt for you tf need be until the one word t OF or no! Phi lel lagndl ge sal Ey eigadl 40% ‘Bay—eay you will be me any more about Miss Roberts.” crack of doom m “Bo you're not going away now?" eaid| he opened her eyes Shirley, amiling down at him. He pat up and leaned over toward her. “I can't, Shirley; 1 simply can't,” he replied, his voice trembling. * ‘ou are more to me than I dreamed a woman could ever be. I realize tt more forcibly every day, The is no use fighting againet it. Without you, my work, my Mfe means nothing.” Bhirley #hook her head and ay eyes. ed “Don't let us peak of that, Jeff,” she pleaded gently. “I told you I did not belong to myself while my father was in peril.” “But I must speak of 1t,” he tnter- | rupted. ‘‘Shirley, you do you Injustice, as well as Indifferent to me—I fi this barrier betwoen self an You are not that. The: us?’ m why r ‘A eott light stole into the girl's eyes. Ah, It was good to feel ut one to whom she was « wortd! rything re Was some jm the wel” Hin face was bent close over hers, Their lips almost | > 4 | ieceet Jefferson,” she murmured, “1 do love you!” in a longs, pastion- (Ei iee, Bat here 18, 2 lone, Prater. i « the thrill ecemed to *convulse her wie, being. The birds in the trees bverbes4 sang in more joyful chorus in celebration of the betrothal. yb Lic CHAPTER XIV. A Plot that Failed. r was nearly seven o'clock when Shirley got back to Geventy-fourth street. No one saw her come in and she went direct to her room, and after a tusty dinner, worked until late into the night on her book to make up for lost time. The events of the after noon caused her considerable uness!- ness. She reproached herself for her weakness and for having yielded so readily to the impulee of the moment / NO; NO! > { RABY; CAN'T \ EAT MAMA'S Ne pITTY VASE! : GOT NICE BALLOON man who had rutned ter own father? be idea was preposterous, and hard ae the sacritce would be, Jefferson must be made to seo \Thety engagement it in that light. wee the greatest folly; i bound each of them when DUt unhappiness could possibly | nothing come of M&M Bhe Joyed Jetterson, must preva over was sure now that she it would be bard to #i¥e him up, but there are tines and Carounetances when duty end principle ether considera ona, and thie whe felt was one of them. | retary, whose manner grew |perctitous and overbearing as he drew nearer the date when he expected to Tun off with one of the richest catches of the season, He had not rude stare, had not delened to n indig. her, which attitude of haughty | ‘Tue following he rec | eager, cones. le t the slope letter fron Bastia wan Spring wo | ment Hep Soe uae | hear the good news regarding her im- portant discovery, and be ureed her co lose ne time in securing bie jette: forwarding them to Massapequa, when he would Knmediately go wo Waali- ington and lay them before ehe Benaie, Documentary evidence of that con- ohusive nature, he went @m to omy, would prove of the very highest value in clearing her father's name He added that che judge and her mother Were as well as circumstances would Permit, and that they were not in the least worried ebout her protracted ab- | eence. Her Aunt Milly had already returned to Durope, and Dudoxla was mal threatening to leave daily irley Deeded no urging. She quite realized the importance of acting — jy, Dut it was mot easy to get at the letters, The Ubrary was usually kept jocked when the great man was away, and on the few cocasions when access to it wae possible the tyn«-eyed Mr. Bagley was always en guant, Short as bad been her way in the Ryder household, Ghirley already shaied | Jefferson's antipathy to the Kngtinh seo- more 6u sourht the acoustntance employer's biographer since her and, with the exception of «| mé he had wid only what Was the truth ference was all the more remarkable in we I bad no dea you were so friendly t have BETTYe VINCENTS c ADVICE IBALOUS HUSBANDS, WHOLE lot ef preaching ts done to jealous wives. Yo | fancy far move unhappiness ts caused by jeal: ous husbands. Few writers think it worth while to not all Bf @f 4 fool, You my And m M pees, A foe © tears, an insulted woman, an } remind men of the misery they cause the tender-hearted, igh-minded women to whom they are married by petty oning and eterpal suspicions sends out invitations to dinner, Bhe receives rather more cordial than the rest from « men in whom she takes no partioular interest, Her hus sand picke It up. "What does that fellow you ‘My dear Mire, Blank?" he glowers. ight, le It? Well, of course, you knew better than I; but Oh, don't tell me it means nothing. I'm ncouraged him,” TY man—all about some perers of whom nelther had ever thought seriously, and all because of the blind, waresso s Je ah ny of the husband True love means trust and perfect confidence. If you & man with a Jealous disposition, try to cultivate @ Mitle pride in yourself and faith in your wite, You will both be & great deal ‘y thirty, somewhere ‘roun there. Om on lese get THR FUNNY PART: for the'ebaperoned visilor to get a real ides of what New be vd ich choad ppler. | son, Love” « I ani eure ¢ cha into the orchestra Uke “A Lemon tn t ad "No Wedding t this has « proposing ; think, make gin pearly seriou he was bet it a bad algn that he le ec ming Wiese tunes? How mind into more perious ch: play °"T AM a¢ he you! Bend & request to the Good O18 Bunun ppant, and he | orchestra Time sentimental ditty those and perhaps propose They Quarrelled ana Parted, man for rung lady seventeen I have Deen keep! Tr The other evening he called and how we quarrélied He r to returm any articles of » in my possession othe He woursed my lov ing advances and left the poume in & | 2e¥ ry mood, saying that he would hens innere &t various never retura. 1 feli very lonely aod imieiligent opin: it it te tus tale “4 week uarty ihm Sn } JUST LOOK DON'T CRY! AT THAT DEAR MAMA <ET BADSY t HAPPY stow! KNEW WHAT eet ak SOMETHING NICE ) ‘eu! 3 DOT Bid, SPOON BABY WANTED! ‘ a TO PLAY WITH! FROM KITCHEN! PAPAS TOOOLE UMS urtTu CANT GET GALLOON RASCALS B DA~DA ~DA- IN MOUFY! TOOTH S\, OA~DA-DA! i anes OID THAT! 4 See “Don't ask me to betray my trust, Had sie admitted she loved Jefferson. IpetoPh eg {Se Meh feet Gee Kon. Femoy was L gee gr provenay| Rime Sopemabe 2f cusstions she ss 68 i; Jeff,” she faltered. “Fou know I am what “right bad she td dlepose of eee ea met Svery 9 pen ir gles Baas g wher ged { not indifferent to you-dar from it But|her future wislle her father’s fate was tractive fenaic feo mer, riting when t the keen, haw ia cena Ke cu uncertain? am war that what with Mr. le oot Takin “ows “ pana ahs : ; lence try er ha pd - reel poco (she came to ahead iowa the thal re, in. whic Tuas iuinedarinatauneetes: a ea ic more i per tim: i ; + murred’ fever from every peut St view, “Mow nena nao to {idee his cumomery ato dar —ontored. Hie smatled opr. Teas tle SD future wite! |mhe become the daughter-in-law ef the |“iflss Huber had oalled at the house Tale welt woe Ie the. cates eran neeaae vernal times, ostensibly to. see Mra Ated she wae to think abe should be » Ryder, Ly mere, @ eM under his roof, and it Bhiriey only with the greatest difioulty the lat that she remained. civil. int {a the moral of your Nifet" she nded bluntly, « Yacuous sort, oomoerning | ae ee (To Be Continued.) nnets, riley at ona ne ment-oving empty-headed, irrespon aible—just the kind of «irl to do mai thing fovlish without weighing th HINTS FOR aL E fe) teually vanish, and one day, after one | H H ME. eriows Iisappenrances, \iriey happened to, peas the HORE Lemon Ple. / a et, bak na ‘caught sight of ber and Mr. 0 Ternon, 1 rofled oracker, 1 cup ef! tues ah pil ad oi fh ie Bagley conversing in sub water, 1 eup of sugar, | ee, JU8t no larger than macareons, When re & bit of flour in bottom of plate | moved from the oven put together im maturing. Lf) made with two crusts, Makes one large | pairs with chocolate icing. we Tt te prevented, Jet. | Ue | | Orange Puffs. acquaint him Worotaite that at REAM one-chind of & cupful of bet Prewld mene ee es DAT together untf! @hick and sinooth ter, a44 1 cupful sugar, then add to segure the Inyo much hurry might three-quarters of « pound of sumer Deaten eggs. Add alternately halt careers and five eggs AAG thre-qumeters s eupful milk and 114 cupfule of Bowe, aye Pemmed: Sine history 8 cr a pound of flour, wtiwing it in ®| teaepoonfuls baking powden @ dash |atmost all her tims to fey Tustin 9" | pound ef flour, wiring i ist by. the of malt. Beat thoroughly, tum inte Pate 5 col deal of hie wits mit ‘Then add eme-quarter ef ®& tered individual dishes and bake tm Ryder, er., pate Lay A canch apoon! £ se Bhe found her a5 matured woman, entirely free from | ane Soll offensive arrogance and patronizing | wea ao usvelly marks t May Man on imrvenue as distnet @rem the thorous nto Mre, Ryders tog, Biro Tne Nee tnannier’s wit OUNG strts find ment scheme the we tarson ht to see ~ acquaint fim with the facts bes Berfingots. jt Piast of eat, and the jolaets lemon. | grange sauce, ’s Daily Fashions ve chat, un Began esr Sorward ¢o these Little ben: rw |promptu wisita, eo much se enjoy’ = over waists, them. 1 4 ba Jothing more had been Marky well @utted toy gesterson and Miss teir ceets and oon young man had not yet r nee iallad ut tie mother knew he was only w won pa ggilst y opportumity ¢o Gemand an ex: | then {ikns agement announce | welcome, Here is : ot the <i Plan ation ar nueband, on the other band Nenired the match ‘more than eve, 0 to the contin mm z | owing te ierts, As usual, Mrs. Ryder | ple and which ean be ', These Littie Gomeatio troubles to | uttiined for everything weasels, ae Dive | trated, tt erer-blouse ta mpde of pale blue ine, with trim of oream lace nd Ris father 0 mer Roene.”” ction has your eom to Mise red Mhirley innocently me seat reason, eished th | edeel with pele blue I've no doubt he velvet, while K is worn love with another avon a tatheios at Aa ‘i witte muslin wi apoke af her.” puke of embroidery |amere are, however, not stone A great which make attractive n very much. What shati I G0 0 | wuiete of the sort for ; t| tring shout « reconciiation, for! feel | yom girs, but elm I qannot live without, him? @ great many cotton HOPEFUL, Cartisle, Pa and silk « . as Perhaps he woked aq vel You saath a " teriaia, 7 can do nothing, more since, ae you eay yed your advances If you Maly but goldly be may + not necessary to return the SiMe unless you wisn to. Should Head Rule Heart ? Betty ‘aa in love with ® young ; ‘ mou pw. yeam my oe - SF ca sonlenelaine Misses’ Jumper or OverWelst, with Quimpe, , a » tne » chink. omer + one Coe Pattern No, 6666, ; repae gy hee kcead oak Spouse o made as it te from silk wid lade, It te on exoeedingly dressy ? pai Nhe le yee ype vony ip. non ¥| antity of matertal required for sixteen-yeer sie te 214 yards 2, 108 oe er teat 4 “yer | A 44. with 8 yards of lace had 6 yards of vatvet ribbon, S88 pasde pee juestion te! Inches’ wide 14 yerd of all-over embroidery for the gutmpe, earning © yory amell salary and Pattern 600d ‘a cnt in sives for etrle of fourteen end etrteen years of eam pe ag aD aca Call DT wend by mall @ THE EVENING WORLD WAY ie paghrows Tali me, whet would YON FASMION BUMEAU. Me @ West Derentr-tears erect Mew Tork end (en comings onte oF etamnpe fer enek paitere entered, 4 | 1 ould have to know the omouns | IMPORTANT Write your name sod etdrese plainly, mad af \ie rf r OF Over,