The evening world. Newspaper, September 3, 1906, Page 9

in The Even JOSH BILLINGS--~ SIMPLE SPELLER How Tew Pik Out a Dog. D will be forever too late than 1 Qo now, or ever shal kno agin, an essa onto dogs, and in that essa t kiaimed Yhat the best kind ov a dog for all purposes for @ man tew hay was a wodden dom. The experience ov yours don't seem tew change mi opinyun, and t now, at then, reckomend the wodden dog. Dogs, ae a genral thing, are ornamoftal, and the wodden dog kan be made Hilly #0, after enny pattern of devign thet @ kultivated taste may ost It the wodden dog tg made with the bark on, 8 mutoh the better} for we aro told bi those who studdy sich things that dogs whieh bark never bight Wodden dogs never stra mway three gt four times a year, Ike flesh and Blood dogy do, and don't kost 5 or 10 dollars reward each time tew make them um bak bum agin. Wodden dogs don't hav the off hydrophobiskiousness; neither are they run- nihe round, and round, and round, and rohnd after themeelfs, trising tew ketch up with a wicked fea who is biszily engaged kiTfwing away at the dog's con- Unuasn un. Taare ain't no better watoh dog in tho world than the wodden one. Tu eet them teow watching enny thing, they will watch It for 3 years, and they atn't krasy and want (ew jump thru a winflow in a minnit @f they just happen tow hear a boy outin the streets whiseling “Yankee Doodle’ or “@alty Cum Up. Wadden dogs woil't stretoh themsetfs out in front ov the fireplace, taking up all the hot room, nor they aron't fly ata harmless old beggar man who only OOM are mitting dretful menses, and If yu dont pik one out putty soon tt T bay written during my yunger days, when I knu & good deal more THERE'S One £ LEARNED FRom Kip mscoy! g WOSFIG"t Daily Magazine, Monday, September 3 UNLUCKY LOOIE, . How Fate Pursues Him! By R.W. TAYLOR | Wants a krust and tare him all tew Mttle bite tn a mit If yu want to plk out n good dor or & leg th eum akrimmoge i dose they retire, will foten thein out of ov Bpaldings gu. strait in che mornii Betty Vincent's we « Advice t FORT BST ” Army, and a8 we are bo of erplened youn people can ob, | [the samo religion 1 delteve we “both | faire by writing to could do a lot more good by working | Lattera to: r together, He is a captain, Would it | 2 af) ) aon ¥EN ig be right for me to ask hkn to marry! i pf ow be et a. Ce att EEE YON BOR we 4 ci eS aot am | a 4% him aee that you for hin Has an Old Svitor. And perhap will nok fou to mars Denr petty I think you would both be very AM 9 love win # youre wes ~~ 4 also loves me. Would you advise me) 4 im’ | “inept Snbee ol alge ap ‘Only Can Go Out with Him’) var ' having ter voice cultivated, and tetis me she Intends to go on the stage in | MET a young man three monthe ago Gimuh Souls At escan were wn os I know he loves me, but defore he | GE teikin’ aad Waebeioe, und datin ben hat met me he went ‘nother git! Sian Wah We tertae to Wik ber jfor three years I know he only goes G. J, | With her aa @ friend; but do you think | From what you say, I ” the advaninge. Youth Is a ereat (ir you know. Tell her that you jove b Wants to Give Him a Present. Dear Betty: | HAVE been in love with a ws now? He you, I would had the right young “man and would like to give hirthday «ift. Kindly give me nd- vice. Ho i seventeen yoors of nee Dear Bet A NEW YORKER A tie, soarfpin, r military brushes, Jearn that euft butions or a book will do. an pik out ® wodden one; they range tn S11 the way from 10 cents tew a dollar, mekerding tow the lumber in them, old! Age don't make them Krom and useless, and tf they do happen tew lose a hed! doing right by going with both of oul With anybody but him if ne exacts that kind of thing from gaged to bimt Has a Rival. HAVE grown very fond of « girl have called on her twice. old friend, innitt, taken at night jist before ing. . we ut fe) Lovers, | does not want do the same to him, if 1 to do s0, Are you en- 1 Now I another young man, also calls on her and has ‘Yes, T ADVERTISED FoR A MAN TO EXERCISE With ME = Box AND PLAY HANDBALL! ames on, t CAN Do IT! I USED To MAKE TRAININGS AIT ' e. They Both Belong to Army, ken ber out a: times He is bectar WENT TOO FAR, PHILANTHROPISTS. | aap Hetty [om than T am and con see her oftener | gtiee Jonke—Hiavy you roatty proken| “We have a tieh man tn our town ‘AM dend in tove with @ youre man | 1 "UM Uke to kitow IF T ought to call | of your engagement to him? who gave a whole blind axyluin ite who never told me he loved the, till 1 am aiways treated well and) seine Hlytie--Oh yea, 1 dust bad to. |atte."* The other evening he walt that if “AEs & pleaaant time. wee ae lyre WAG wetttrie to) sertinents!—began We have a magistrate In ours tbo he had A companion he would et ye unwelcome Maybe ake chrae mor, t0 talk to me about mattimony.—Philn-|gives @ hearing to every deat man ar-| ajong better In bia work Tt te the Bal- for you RAMA HH Aeiphin Ledger rested."—Baltimore Am#rioan, | mornin’. Philadelphia Preay Ne PAY You WELL IF YOU ARE ANY Gob! / DERE L YusTt a a hngpigp Erie SURE! 1 CAN Hop DIS JOB ALREADY! 7 183 1T ONE LEARNED MYSELF! OW GEE! ANUDDER Coop voB GOES A Quiet Sunday Home Is What Makes a Man Real- ize That in Marricd Life Can Be Found the Only Trtie Happiness. THERE are tha Munday papers, Mes, Jaret” bawled “ Mr as he came our of the bathroom in his dressing €6Wn and slippers Bundy Morn- . Ing at 20, o'clock, “You never mind the papers, Mr. Jer,” replied his loving wife. “You come to your brenkfast. Everything 4 Cold waiting for you. If you cared anything for your family you would pave breakfast with them! The obtl- Gren have been up ines 7 o'clock wanting you to take them out for a walk! “Don't get excited!" replied att J “For goodness sake, let a main have some peace end comfory on Bun+ day!" ‘We could have peice and eomfort @very day, Mr. Jarr, if you would only try to appreciate your home. You are out ti! afl hours Saturday night and then you come home and sleep all day Bunday; you ought to be ashamed of yourself!" “You owght to be ashamed of yourself, driving a man out of the house by the way you carry on! was Mr. Jarr's rejoinder. ‘Kindly try to stop jawing you ank for the papers!" Where are they?" “How do t know where mo and walt on youT Don't to look at the funny pictur “By George! What am phasis, “MA an old slob, th You know yourself be you were to ask me, I wo head of the house, Mrs. Jarr, “and if you. ch peautitul Sunday morning, car te oe suppenness! temper! But have @ care, sorry!" news, OW children, 1 things never see you from you carty on ii could haye the old papers, "Doggone the papers! pomfortable day of It “T" TAYLOR —s, your poor father has had WORSE YET! | SAME OLD STORY, _ Dhiety Tanke—Get It yer nad WVU, my family te at Lethargy| | The soubd of mpanking whole batrel o' beer wouldn't it make rBeach. They write that they are sleap. | children had subwided: Mr yer wieh yer hed two throat’? jing every night" —~ great giod buror and Weary Willke—Naw, ‘cause dat-woutd) “Ah, th moan yer'd have two heads de mext | that sare old story. They write they are sleeping under dieu (ties. Loulevtiiw Courier-Journal ing tt them! there's no “it down, Clara, {end of the tuble, dear!” Sted papers In my hand til tt anits you to ask fr themt “And if you want to know what you are, ‘I would say that you are & woman with {he meanest, most | iter MaiiEGN WS Mee MaRS Ores tees Member meme? ars “T told you the ehiidren took them to look at the funny pietures,” replied “Oh, 41 had only known! that every Banddy of my life, every day of my life, 1 have to put up with your “Mucti you care for the children,” interposed Mrs. Jar, “Revenge yourself on me, but don't you daré to touch them! cuse to make mé miserable this day I would have thrown thent in the @ret* | wait Mr. slept late if It is going to inconvenience you. Why didn’t you wake me? know I wan aleoping #0 late till litte Emily end Willie ran through the tonsed the Banday papets ankde, rerneteing, I'm hungry ae a wolf, the eat thine 1 ttle “It ali you come home for ia to look at the papers, why Gon't you stay oD an hour or two longer and get them from the delivery man?” esked Mra Jarr, ‘ou are breaking my heart the way you act! | meals are eaten tn this house? why you act the way you do! coming to your breakfast you ask for the papers! “Yes, I ask for the papers, and I want them, and I'm golng to have them! How can I keep a gift the way You know tt is Mary's Bundwy Out, and that ts Now that you are out of bed at tast, instead of they are?’ raid Mra. Jarr. “Am FT to let everything - you {hink 1 havé anything to do but waft With the ‘The children took them on! I in this house at's what I am than we do, of courre,’ maid Mrs. Jars, “but it i way that you ate a fuffian,” Mrs. Jerr,” crted the now tfrefal asked Mr, Jarr, with rasping em- cone to carry on jike a madman, and on sugh & too, about fifteen cents’ worth of old newspapers you To think I was warned, but 1 wouldn't Hates! Mr. Jarr, wame day, when it is too late, you will be “And @ome day you'll be sorry, Mra Jurr,” sald Mr, Jarr, with forced calm- men like you drive © man to Gemperation. if it were not for the “The poor tittle ohe week to another, and when ydti are tn the house crany man because they dare to look at your papers! I told them they and if I had known they were going to be your nth, reaiising that he frowld havea m sorry I said a word about them, and I'm serry & ft didn bell steps, where they had been looking at the pictures in the Sunday papers, “You naughty children!’ she eried. “How dare you take the & chance to look at them? And how tmrougn the halla and wake Alm on the only morning Tie hed to Bat w Mitte sleep?” ross Upon the morping mir ead ere tht walle of the Sarr waa in the dinihg-room, He kisnid bin wife with “Why, It chy Menin Iy 1 Hee You mt the “KING MIDAS”’’—A Love Story—By UPTON SINCLAIR—Author of “THE JUNGLE” - Printed Exclusively in The Evening World. (Copyrightest, WOl, by Upton Ainietate.» STNOPSIE OF PRECK i4 ie daughter bane. Revetts (whe ing foe | eeyh, continues ty pram Heit emtlen MOOT), Onn LTD Ay Goring tile her he bas a Dien Wt | me 7 CHAPTER VL (Continwed.) RECEIVED your avnt’s perminton to ast you,” | me continued SM Marrizon, “and sq 1 meed only youra.* “For what?’ Helen inquired with varied emotions. “Po drive you over to OnkGale with my rig,” anid the othef: “L had it brought down, you know, be esuse I thought there might bem chanes to une It” Melon had turned ollghty paler, abd wae staring in front of her. “are you not fond of driving, then, Mise Daviat maked the other, a» she -hositated “Yoa." avid Weten, “but T don't like to trouble you"—— " “L wamite you It will be the greatest pleasure in the! world,’ sald Me. Harrison, “I only regret that 1 snail! not be able to #ee more of you. Miss Davia; it is only for the prosent, I hope.’ “Thank ‘you. aaid Molen, etl very falntiy vand I have a pair of horses that 1 ath rather proud ot.” added Mr. Marrizon, aughing; "should He you tp toll mo what you think of them, Will you clive me the pleasure?” And Helen ei could not hesitate very much longer Sithout being rude, "It you rea¥y Wish th Mr. Marron,” she said, “very well.” And then someone wlan game out on the plosea and cut short the convers sation: Heleh had no time to think any More about the matter, but she hat a dissgreedble consctousnens thet ber bidod was flowing faster watin, and that her old agitation war back In all tty atrongth. Boon afterwards Mra, Roberts came out and joined the twa "Mies Davis has granted ave the very great thyor,” FAIS Str. arrigon, “1 fear J hall he hapoler than T obght to be, cobsideriag what suffering I leave be. hind.” “it will do ho 06a to worry adtut tt," anid Mew, Noberts, « refection which often keeps the world from Wasting It» sympathy, “I shall have your carriage Drought round.” “hen't It rather early to atart?’ avked Helen, “1 dont know,” wald her munt; "ia itt ‘ We can take a little drive tf it ik" weld Mr, ‘Btar- rison) “I mean that Mies Davis shdll think » great dval of my horse” Hap ml See Dt a ening ious fat acroms the imate Ske could not pat avny from her the exeltement thie Mr Hiarctson’s presence G@roupht; the viatons of wealth and power which glesmed before her aimowt overwhelmed her with thelr vaathees, But rhe bad |atvo the memory of her motning pawnlve to trouble ber coneclenctt the -ttault “aa “the Aste ocentuned helploesness, the dagmt and frighiehed feoling which % #0 Fedoiied againat, “1 do not want to be thombied tm this wey." sputtered angrily to bereelf, agai And Again; wlab to be let lone, so that I oan be beppy!” Yet there waa no chance just then for her to find an inatant’s peace, or time for further thougnt; there one "a Gat’ | were half m dosem people about her, ahd she was oot. pelied to ilstem to and tnewer commenpiack renames about the beauty of the country tn front of ber, ana Short ner sing te onthe revicus events: Sho bad to etife her agitation as beet shh seutd, and aknost betote she realized M her mund nad come to summon her to get ready for the drive. Helen hoped to have @ moment's quiet then; but thre Was nothing to be done but put on her hat and gloves, and Mr, Roberts waa with her all the time “Helen,” she agit piadingiy, as she smtchod the irl hurveying berselt In the glass, “I do hope you will not forget all that T told you” ‘ “Tl wish you would let in@ alone about Helen, very peevishly. “It you only knaw, my dear gil, how much I have done for you.” replied the other, “and dow Te planned and looked forward to this thme, I don't thn you'd anewer me In that way.” “Tt ten't that, Aunt Polly,’ exciaimed Molen, “but Tam #0 confused and I don't Know what ho think.’ “IT am trying my poor, bumble beat’ to whew you whet cw think, And you could not poswibly fei more worrlod thah 1 just mow. “Melon, you dould be Tid of all thene doubts and struggion in one in- stant, Jf you cHowe, Ask yoursell i it la mot true; YOU have only to give yourself into the aris of the happiness that cilly you. And you never wail get of the matter in any ophetr way—-indbed you wit not! I you should fing aqwhy this chance, the monwiry of it would never leave you all your life; after you knew it was too late, you would torment younselt a sidan aac more thin ever you om mow,” “Oh, dear, dear!” cried Belen, hA\t hysterically; “1 can't stand ¢hat, Aunt Poly, IR do anything, only let me alone! My bead ts Aching @o apllt, and I don't know where I am,” “And you mill never find another Ghanda lice it Melon,” went an the obher, with sledgehammer mordeleseness, “For if yu behave in this penteoty tneane way nat lowe tits opportunity, 1 shell almyly wive you up in, despair at your perversity.” itt” orted “Bat 1 haven't satd T was @olng % lowe Ht.” the | wirt exclaimed. “Me won't be any the tans in love with me if I make hie weit, Aunt Polly “Mr, Harriaon was hank to Cinckawl ta « uy oF two,” put tn Roberta, witty, “he will stwy ff To wien nim fo," wea ithe girls reply, ‘“Dhéte is no need for so euch worry; one would think I wae setting old,” “Old! lewied the other, “You are so beautiful this morhing, Molen, that 1 could fall in Jove with you myselt.”” Bho tureed the girl towards her, wii ins that her ttlek wae Gninhed. “s baven't & thowsht In the world. deer, bur to Keep wou so | beauthoul,” he aaid, “T hote to eee you wrmenting yourselt ard tanking yourkel( so pale. Why will you bot take my advice and fing al) these Worrion Aare end jet yourselt .be happy? That ia ali [want you to do, and it ewe eany! 1 like to kee you waite Helen!" And Helen, who wae tired of nate & wie or mind tt nm tompent of emotions. | into a laugh at herwelé, Meanwhile the other picked ptraction for her, |'@ rose from a «reat bmneh of them thet ay upoa the bureau, and pinned ft upon her dress. “There, obikk" she eld, “he ean never resiat you now, 1 eow!* Halen kissed her oxctiedly upon the cheek, sind darted quicklyJout @f the door, singing, In a brave attempt to bring tack ber off, merty aelf:— ATHY flowers that, bloom tn the apring, tra-ta-ia, | Have nothing to do with the cast A fthoment later, however, @he recollected Mr.) Howard wod his tnivfortuns, mnt! her heart sank; | she ran quickly down the atwpa to get the thought of him trom ber nvind. j It waa easy enough to fonmet hii and ail other troubles se well when she was coos outhiie Upon | the plasss; for there were plenw of happy peop'e, | and everyone enowded about her to pid ber good-by. | Phere too was Mr. Harrinon alandicg upon the sfepe waiting for her, and there was bis driving-cart with te} (wp magnificent black horse, ater, and wager for [Sree ports——sthetean seme arot-meaet ert borhan ttre + | having bever had one of het own vo driva, but she had’ the #ye of @ person of aristocratic tastes for | what was tn good form, and she saiw that Me, Maeri- | | son's turnout wae ell of that, with another at- wore ithe, veadets cron thorowgtbrate, both of thom; and it looked as If they hed not bein out of Ube mtathe In a week. They were giving the groom Wao weld them all that he gould do, = | Mr. Harrison held out hia hand to the girl as she came dawn the steps, and eyed her keenly to seo if her tuahed ehowks would betray any wien of fear But Molen'* emotions were surging too stronely for euch thoughts, and whe had, besten, a litte of the thoroughbral nature herself. Sho jaughed wally as she KAYO Her hand to her companion and sprang Into the wagoo, he followed ber, and as he took the reins to groom «prem aside and the two ites, hornes bounded away down the broad avenue, | ihorougndy tired of thinking; whe wanted to feel, Helen turned once to Wave her band in anewer to] qias again and again wie drank in deep bieaths of the chorus of Kood-bys that sounded trom the porch. | the hreese. eed _ ‘uly a camel tae paid ra sed It waa only a minute or #0 before they passed etal cmon my “sing fh IME | ne gates of the Hoberte piace, and swept out of the | woods nd ho thi nu el “Ob, 1 tidok shia te Gee!” she otte fowoining than, link Ales artaee Wass. Gn bores ete Hee deeiebng, aan Teoh Live abbas, scp Senet wstiltn whe eub, naenk” woh Che vegty. "A lke thia king) OC Fela, ed Tae Was SoMPOTEA to eNA-WA To ¥ har Dat He saw delight and laughter glowing In war wo mah,” “Walt unt we get opt on the nigh-rowd,” weld Mr. Harrison, ‘Wind then we will mee what we can do. Don't Let This | ' | | Happen to You! By “Pop.” think Iam wise 6 tie subject of hornes The woods om either side sped by luen, and Meten’s omeatione soon began to how fawter. It war | alway, amy for her to forget everything And lowe herself tn feelingw of joy and power, and it wae | Aiectally easy when she waa as much WrouRnt op Ae pie waa jumt (hen, It waw again ter ride with the thunder being #Wepl out Into the rejoloing and the victory onot more. She might have reaiined, if she had tivoueitt, that her joy wae coming onty bacwuse she was following her mum's advice, and yielding her Wit into the arma of hor temptation, Out Helen was | her countonmno> ws abe watched the Iandscape that fed oy them, with ita bilisides clad in their brightest keen and with (ls treen-ploughed farm lands and showy orchards; the clattering of the honwwe and (ne whirting of the wheels in the sandy road were music and inspiration such as Helen longed she beén alone. As Whe ber way animation and glow that bad fagcinatet her com- panioh upon the previous evecing, She talked of tye sights the: Werte abqut them, am when they came to the top of ahe hill and paused to gaze Afound a the view, #hé told about her wip through the Alpe, and pictured the scenery to iim, and nar- rated #Ome of ber mountain-climbing adventures; ata then Mr. Hatrieon, who must have been @ dull Man indom not to have felt the contagion of Helen's | happiness, told her about hie own experiences in the Rockiss, to which the girl listawd with genuine | interest, Mr. Harrison's father, #o he told her, had | boen A station agent of a Nettle town in ome of the | | wildewt portions of the mountaine; he nmeelt bed rm, and soon phe folt an if she were | hoofs! for, and she would have sung with all her heart had | she talked instond, with ‘the same / that it wae during; for the horvem) ft oamo from thd West, you know, Min Davis, #0 1) be time,” and be (urmed to ber with & savy Would you like to have an adwentarel” be asted. (To Be Continued.) val MAY MANTON'S DAILY FASHIONS begun as a rallvond wurveyer, and dad vinen atep by | wttp by constant exertion and watchfulness, It Was a Mory of a telfmade man, euch as Helen had| vowed to hef aunt she apuld not bear to Heten to: ye% abo als not find it disagreeable Just then, There | wea an exciting story of race with & rival road, to wooure the right to the bést route aorosy the | | mountains: Helen found it quite @s exelting as | | mrusic, and said on, “Perhaps i is a kind of musto,” said Mr, Hartt: | son, laughing; “Mt ls the oly kind 1 have cared any- | | thing about, excepting yours.” “I bad no 1404 people had to work #o hard tn the works,” said Helen, dadging the compliment “TDaey do, uniaen they have aomeane elon to do it! for them," sald the other, “It is a Merce race, now adays, end & man has t watch aod think every miloute of the tine, But it is giorious to triumph. Helen found hetvelt wlready @ Lirte more in & position to rwalike what ten million dollare| amounted to, anf very much mure reapectful and awe-stricken in her reintion «9 them. She was waficlently obiivious to the might of time to be quile surpeied when mhy gaxM about her, end discovers | What They wore win couple of miles of home, | “IT had no ided of bow quickly we were going,” she mad You are not tired, ¥ . indeed,’ then?’ anked the other ach "We Lewes horses are hardly waked up." | inight. drive farther,” aald Mir,’ Marrison; | tio riibed them in litte and gisnews at hie watoh, “IVA just eleven,” be aid, . saink there'd * ‘ | and inserted and Helen answered, “1 enjoyed tt ever so. variation of Tucked Blouse with Yoke—Pattern No. 5,457. pla At not VERY (he tucked bhowwe fade tne E materials ant for the thin etlkh thes are alae . « ls @ favorite for linger larly tremted; but forf' all nmiatentate ge ealficlently Might weight to allow of tucking. This one. Inchadew & yoke of unusual ehape con be treated after « tumber of ways, In the illuwtration Peralan lay te combined with yoke of Ineented tupicing: asd trite of embroidery and fancy stityhes, But chow are & grout many materialn that our be utiiieed for @-contraating yoke, the various all-overs, alk tucked © one from whieh the wala iW made, trimmed in « nu rf of ways, while the bend At the lower edge can with propriety be either of nce vr ombroidery or in one of she fancy trimeuingh or of the material ombreidered, = that there tv every opportunity flor the exerclae of tndividual mate And discretion. Miterial for guedium sing te 8 4 yards 323-4 yardy 2 or 1 4 yards Mucha wite, With 5-6 yard 18 inches wide far the yoked 114 yeete If long sleeves are used and 1 yant of banding ale Pattern 5,467 14 cut in sizes for a M, 4M, I abd # inch ust menwure.