The evening world. Newspaper, December 28, 1905, Page 14

rTraursaqayrnvening, vecember 283, 1905, “The Bvening worias mrome magazine The Ryanetus-Belmonstrous-Gobblemus. NEW YORK THRO’ FUNNY GLASSES. - By I. 8, Cobb. HERE was a preacher who had fashionable whiskers and a congregation match. He preached sermons burdened with Kant (spelled both ways) and Nordau and Schopenhauer, Hé used wonls so long that they ran as serials in the Unabridged. His perorations were as full of mystery and foreign matter ohop-suey. Nobody could understand them, but the papers would say that the Rev, Dr. Hyphen J, Sidewinder had again delivered one of his masterly and thoughtfu} ptiulosophical discourses at the Church of the Leavened Yeast, and give him a column, Hia membership was wealthy, Including several persons re lated by marriage to large life-insurance companies, besides a number who haa . worked for thelr money, 7 Then there was the special wuxtry clere up-to-date, He was on the Job more hours than a fire chief, When tt came te featuring the latest sensation he was the ginal Sunday supplement, IgMwasn’@ , often that the comedMans who sing the topical songs on Broadway beat him to @ | food one, If the Presidentess-General of the Amaigainated Assoctation of Crowe | ing Hens, in the interost of parliamentary decorum, jabbed a hatpin into a laggy 4 member who had called her an “old thing’ his next sermon would be entitled { By J. Campbell Cory. Published by the Press Publishing Company, No, 63 to 6 Park Row, New York, . Botered at the Post-Office at New York ax Second-Class Mall Matter. r " VOLUME 46 ...0ssecvescreeceeser sere eevee NO, 16,199, ———$—$$$— $ The “Good Old Times” Outdone. Speaker Cannon thinks we are much better off than our forefathers were in the good old days, and the country, after a fat year on the| farms, is in a moog, to agree with him. From Wall street to Walla | Walla prosperity has brought self-| complacency and self-satisfaction. | Why should any note of disconten: be heard in a land to whose aggre gate wealth each sunrise adds $3,000,000? It is only in hard times | that the conscience pricks. mht man, Who almed to be timely an@ a Some carpers, to be sure, rail at bishops who suppress resolutions immoral finance. The customary number of pulpits on New Year's Day will decry the chase of the almighty dollar as the sole tnd of man, How far will ther pessimism penetrate the joyful din arising | hj fl nop 2 Ss SSS S SS IRS < from those who possess full granaries? It is for them that Mr. Cannon bs “The fathers,” says this prophet, “tid well, but the sons and the grandsons have done better. They are better physically, mentally, mor- ally.” What pleasure the Speaker would take in showing round an old- timer, say a member of the Continental Congress returned to life, and {ntroducing him to these sons and grandsons! | In the matter of morality there are the shining examples of the Pitts- Footbal! vw. Women’s Clubs; Should We Suppress One and Permit the Ocner? | Personally, his conception of a glorious Immortality was spot-light that j wouldn't burn out. He aiso got preferred position in the ne dailies, 1 And there was the strongly orthodox dominie who made a weekly specialty 5 of picking out the fatal errors, of other denominations and other preachers, He could find more motes in the oygs of his esteemed contemporaries than any beams infested theological optician In town. He forgot that, although there are many creeds, the spires all point one way, And many a dull Monday morning the | elty editors played him up because that kind of copy has bean Scarce since the | burg millionaires, In mental subtlety what Puritan could distinguish and divide a question of principle between north and northwest side like a Perkins or a Hegeman? What did Robert Morris know of speculative finance compared with a McCurdy? What did they know in colo days of bosses, graft, divorces, yellow-dog funds, excise hypocrisy Where was there a Platt or a Depew? A day in the Speaker’s company would greatly enlighten the visitor ducking echool for common scolds went out of style, But over on a side street was a little preacher whom nobody ever read much about, He didn’t have large crowds to hear him as a genetal thing, Sometimes on a rainy Sunday his congregation, coming out, looked ike the Grand Jury going to dinner. The newspapers never gave him space, because he was satisticd to just go on preaching the old-fashioned Gospel in the o!: any frills or polonatses. THE FUN And yet there are some who compla wonder why it Is, Y PART: in at sensationalism in the 1 3 ES ———_—++. Science and the “Missing Link.” Gia na are again on the trail of the “missing link.” Two years ago cer Li the improvements wrought in a century of progress, Ut fs proper to recall that Woodbury Langdon and Alexander B, Orr, both Important members of the Rapid Transit Commission, were deeply concerned in Mr, Ryan's merger of the National Bank of Commerce and the Western National Bank. tain marks were found on a block of sandstone near Warrnambool, in Australia, which were thought to be the imprints of the footsteps of a pre historic man, At the time this idea was ridiculed, but a plaster cast was sent to Germany, and the inevitable German savant went out to Investigate the matter. He now reports that, in his opinion, they were gymulne human Imprints, and this, taken {n conjunction with the extraordinary human skulls to be see fm the Warrnambool museum, ts supposed to show that a link between humanit: and the ape has been discovered, The idea of the German doctor is that at a early period the sandstone where the !mprints e found had been a great level beach on which, perhaps, prehistoric men were accustomed to camp. ——_++. Smoke Experts, HE Japanese are experts on smoke rings, and it is said in Japan it is cone sidered no uncommon trick to blow three rings of smoke In succession, “Judge” Hamilton’s Services. The interesting nature of “Judge” Andrew Hamilton’s statement to the Insurance Investigating Committee makes it doubly regrettable that the delicate state of his health forbids his presence here. A few direct answers to questions put by Mr. Hughes are wanted, ‘The statement shows that Hamilton performed his duties as agent and legislative watchdog with rare fidelity and discretion, As the guardian of the eompanies against “strike” legislation he saved them extravagant ling th » first ar nnoust amounts, He spent sums which will be “returned one tostasaat to! ~ het Saernord GH aT’ Ge Ran ve hag pate at Meggan war licy-holders.”” For seven years he carried on a highl Be th p A t : are not only able to multiply the number of rings thus mado, but actually form i 7 wisten srane “serot” and srthuiat sag etters [rom t e eop e xd rN J nswers to UCSTIONS | serenose characters representing words und sentences, And all without “in any way transgressing the law of the land or the! In 1012, means my one great opportunity In life | was I had an awful fat, Let Mr |hold down any oniinary job in the busl- wat iew! ble mae hy Hi i ; orld: I would like some level-headed readers) Powers make your new water aut? |ness world as man is? Does the fact Es pe Me uid hoa ait te cenit” highest order. | riea wit “oe fret day Of Janyary to tell me if I should do a8 my Wile] good And strong and save me a@ front /that she usually gets less pay come y does he arrogate credit? y his reti- Pat . implores me to and keep my presen. | eat for the coming year. 1 also have |from her lesser ability? Also, In wh r sat A fall Mondi ain, after 1900 cova nd keep . i y , what cence regarding those who participated in the good work? Why are the) ‘M” Montay “#5, “TT Rien, |taitly good New York position, or it 1] few uniformed friends who are look |inea of industry, it any, does woman +e—_—-— -— Thumbnail! Sketches, UBJ e. W. Harriman, S Favorite Spor!—Imitating Towser. q " $e} ay x ai rn 4 | should go West and better myself, My|‘ug for seats, Kindly jet me know !!}excel man? JUVENILE DEBATERS. a of legislators oll gah helped hed secret? Who were they | Happiness or @ Career? wife 1s not a fool and in other ways|you can supply them. uO M ‘The Blacksmith's Stone, ~” Favorite Tusk—Overlooking no bets and how much did they get? Perhaps Mr, John A, McCall will answer! ro te waitor of The Evening World: then this one is lovable and reasonable. Favorite Book—“The Wreckers.” ‘ I have an excellent business offer in| sit tt be her happiness or my career? | Prcigs oF iy amen yn teoly to query about, the: blacks i ve ni te me, raise my a: ‘ J * lor of tT Worta: Begpead preeliytell obecadh ct Uhre te BEE SES EPC ba J Vi Miners has beans Tesher Reates dis re bid forty-pound plece of stone Mr, Belmont naively observes that “it 1s admitted in this connection that the | But my wife won't go to Denver, She cussion among us, and we have left it oat rats] ay ip aie pieces as transportation facilities in this city are already superior in rapidity, comfort, s4y@ !t will be lonely exile to her, | to your readers to decide, So pleane| \ os a Hd any weighs wil have my work and business a6s0-| 75 the Editor of The Evening World send opinions. The question is this: Is | Devween one and forty pounds, I would character of equipment and low cost of travel for long distance to those of any | clates ‘here, #he says, but she will be] The seat I had on your water wagon|woman man's equal ia business? In like to say that the pieces weighed these questions, Favorite Author—George Christy, Favorite Antist—Lew Dockstador, Favorite Fruit-Shaken-<down plums Favorite Plant—Siippery elim. Pavorite Vehicle—The pirate shig. Pavorite Musical Instrument—The lead pipe. Wants Stronger Water Wagon, other city in the world.” Who else has “admitted” it? jalone all day, so she won't go. his! ("196") gave way, and the consequence [other words, 1s she as competent to tyboves pounds. a 1 WEISER We OO Peraviie Charsetr ta Mitaeritds, ie Lae Mr bad a U R Y ¥ WONDERFVLLY SPIRITED AND INTERESTING. A LIVING ROMANCE OF WILD NATIVES AWD WIDE DISTANCES | ' y ote A Tale of the Arizona Desert » 2 By Roger Pocock (Copyright, 1905, by Little, Brown & Cy.) | tives to liberate, except four measly Ley recor m vaqueros, which gave us a redhot cusi i Aridoad living Were With lis Wie wid | fem time We had a sickening miserable 6 ®O Jim, He Wind in atiiude of ‘Almont, leader picnic, a waste of sweat and oratory. ee A couple of miles to the eastward of | La Morita Jim found thet his little ;hartner welghed a ton, After working) all night, and struggling to the limit of | his strength, he could go no further, | The day was breaking; to move by daylight meant an extra risk of being | seen, and there was nothing to be Vin\ties' | @ained by travelling, So he staggered to the nearest hilltop, found a good) | look-out point, then smashed up some local rattlesnakes and Iaid Curly to | —he done gave judgment that we-all with shelter, and itvint } D, Yells the story) 2 es @nd throws @ glass of nfieht @ en. "i jn ha ed, WS are several others. ut the Jahte. n assists Curly and Jim to escay fa posse pursues and captures | and a mother, was In the wrong. Then father ap-| safe, and bein’ joved? [' y & \ pealed to the Die Court ‘at Washington, | wolf with a Saunt ee ny Maen te i Whioh says he hed the right to his | hunted down and soot? Dace land and home. Bo the cattle company} “And you-a girl!’ P+ the re on fire and burned our! "No, a mistak ag other was burced to death.| Jim pawed out, and gnibbed her sof ‘father he went bad. I the} small brown hand. “You came back," only thing he gaved trom the fl he whispered ‘big “Poor No wonder he turned | “I came back to ae if that Ryan was { same, by goin’ to, wipe you out, and yo [ ry ople. Y He shot Judge Thonison frst, then | Phy gnoet ws qin he killed Mose Thomson, and the sher-| +] yeckon,” gays Curly, “I ain't quite if put out to get him. He got the | responsitie anyways for my fife—'cariss sheriff. Then he went all through Kam-| ]'m only a mistake—jest @ mistake. t was and Colorado, gathering Pre |fenis one way, and acts the contrary stockmen what had been robbed and |'whiri in to kil, and tovrescus: rulned by the rich men's law, They Jats to hate—and Inst i" held up pay-escorts, stage coaches, | "What? banks, the trains on the railroad, That boginning of the Robbers’ of that I'— "I dunno," she laughed. "Up tome at Robbers’ Roost we got a lil’ book on the two, rest under a sheltering rock, From | * elr w 0 ide fo Iquet' vo Seana Maeda aie pete TU thetee none, | there he what the Weekly | heaps thoughtful, looking Yadtianta WHat, tells, vou how ladies and th the desert, “Our breeding ir ames ought to act in heaps cattle, he, tallying on his fingers, “then Hol vi then apother, thon thor, and pow tm being hunted for) way that hook ts wrote, I done broke “Now you know,” sald “Ourly, “wh |all my wolves outer that book to sot we robbers played a hand tn vO ‘game, Wer thetr talis and act pretty, Now, PT Undermand. “Bay, Curly, f take! I had the book 1'¢ know how T' back all I gald about tt being ‘bad—thie | OYRM to nct In regand, to RL pobbery-under-arme, Ite the only thing | yeatly about as humorous as a funeral. +0 Ree "Am I nothing to you?” he asked, feel- To check thelr pure Jim seta the grass | Ob afire. They | uary described as “an infamous | tier | Outrage, perpetrated at La Morita by nt Mtehas) | @ #408 of cowardly rufflans.” Not that | at Jim) Jin Was shocked—indeed, I reckon the | Car | jad put up signs of depraved joy, He » the little partner to know whether I'm a lady or a gen- Ueman, but it's mighty comfortin’ the nd Curly munfered the eve and some of his cow ‘ } é 4 It whorely worries ma \ 1 | We're sure saved, Curl, from being | ed down by the Guards and mur- trac you dreaming,” said Curly, | y¢ ), but eh to “wo-all ain't blind; our eyes is open a| in hurt; but she just-opened one eye whole lot wide <o ‘truth, and we make | @t,dim, smilin fi said nothing, dered, A ralastorm came up a little later * Pagan ; aed Presently the pain got #o bad that | Pedy Aid raga goge ag there should ‘be a bounty offered, 90 | forme of hotness MAS) sho tognn to roll from aide. to alas, age ich as perfectly y " { 7. h -HAPTER XIX His leatier Mexican clothes were shrunk rar thee batere Pin killer 1 never| . “It's all right for me I'm a man, |face of te rock overhead, CH: ? XIX, A : , " fist = ‘cept | nd I'm not a coward, elther, But, Cur: é % 1 do something?” says Jim. ; \ght with rain, the staining ran in = \ \ bed e chance to get my team in 1°o| ly, you're not At for a game like this, | "11's awful to elt and watch that pain. The White Star. treaks on his face, his teeth played , , AS ei bee ane ed von ahora | im, going to take you eway—where | nist do something.” . tunes with the cold, | A 5 i just have seen way they put | You'll be safe.” If you olimb to the of this | f oon as Capt. MoCalmont was! jim told her about the escape, and | ra | out after us plenty enthoo:| And wear tory SN te Mua Me Yr peed gO . clear of the city I meandered In) iow the Frontier Guards had been left TELM slasto and they'oaime mighty near oole| chains ve Got fave you-T must) Jiud Hee Le Goledad, My feahory | @ cams) way around the saloon afoot, and how the ston hed some — TeGHng Our Wea oe to think of you| She laughed at him. “You! Do you |. 'lt run.” ; taking @ drink here, a clgar there, | convenient to wash out the raiders’ 4 with @ gang of thieves,” i passing the word for a meoting of the) tracks as well as his own, 5 (2) “Father eaye that the worst orkmes|Punched cows for Chalkeyet I might |rounmi looking-glass out of the broa, fephers env. Whe teis had oust and th \ —< “ : 4 is cowardice, meanness Ynd cheating.| ha’ been thar atill but for you,” of ber shirt. “You've only to get the " Wee cata oY. gikth no pare) te . 1 qu nd the plain was . The next worse things is banks, rajle| ‘What on earth do you mean?’ fur on this glass and flash the light Boys,” I sald, “I ain't no pai whining lke a sea of gold which ran in ar yrad Pompantes, Jpwyerw; apd that! ‘Jim, 1 met up with yo’ mother, and |! ree times upon La Soledad. ‘The man acts of violence; but I do propose that | channels between the island groups of . young Ryan— specially R¥an—he saya|I didnt want to be bad any more when |", lock-o1t will fee the flash.” we just whirl In to-night and rescue! purple mountains, 80 one could eure \ that us robbers ly angels compared|I seen her,” Gt the glass, then,’ with trash like that “Thot'a no excuse,” “Fathor says that them po' kids at La Morita, Of course, | geo rango after range meltigg off into in busting the calaboose we may have | more than a hundred miles of clear dis- fo shoot up a few Mexicans—but {t does] tance, to where the sunshine was hot them good to be taken serious at times, | peyond the clouds. That clearness after “The brute! I'll wring his beastly neck! You love him?" and they'd sure hate to be ignored while | rain ig @ great wonder to see, and we atolo thelr captives.” makes one feel very good. # No. ro roke out laughing. you know whet {t means, Jim, that the law is tac eae wrest that] “Oh, shucks!” Then her face went bit- |¥au flash that wiaral he the Government's too’ pore and weak| ter. “She waid she loved me, eh?’ iAtescug for you." iadow. He ollows| "She eald I was a beastly little cad) “And for you, Jim, It means that compared with you, When I got home pe quit bein’ an honest man, it meane from college sho held you up for a holy |AuMm",!4 means death. Us ounaw® “Wouldn't you love all yo’ brothers, nursed bh ti] he wes able to get shore enough, more than most boys.” 4 ' remember me at Holy Crawss when I/ “Why run?” She enatched a sma! | f ; 4 a A ‘The boys came yelping, and we trot-| sina grene more,” saya Curly, “the dime , ,, pound agaln, and he loves me worse) "It's all beastly rot calling him good ‘example and rubbed my nose in tt, She | "4! ') Ie pair beds, Jam.’ Ged the night through, throwing the) 1) vont ne encouraging this A n te di hrorhere “that's all ekg ut | than ever. It cayn't be helped.’ ~MoeCalmont good!” “Shore thing It's Wy | was rlght—but how I cursed you!” Nein Patan » When Alles besind us, incl der irri, by oy the rotten coward make "So these robbers know that You! “| hawss or a dawg or a Ml’ child| what made Vs baat OE AR ge | Curly laughed faint and lay beck |and te is riding with hne outta At B o'clock, to judge by the stars of . bi. that you're a etrl?” will run from a bad man, but they love) Ws cowboys and stoclamen Ones; Nit / moaning, for the sun. had come hot |ramped at our stronghold, the army 4 i “Shall I lift you here to this dry cor ou see, Buck’a plenty fond of me) «mney found me out last year, Yea, | my ‘ fs saints, but trying {ike| {fom the clouds, and she was burning | Hi lO Chane wo min’ 6 Orion, we rested our ponies near the Ys and his emotions is raring high, spe | i yeu i athe aan Vet ee father, Oh, but you don't know) only stealing cows quite moderate, with “So yo' mother claimed she | ‘era, and walk boundary, at the streak of dawn loped ba 88 ia ane SiOne, we : dally when—wall, I refused to be Mrs eat F a btert rade thea mn [how Rood he 19!" ole aye, eet ee ctr bn out loved’ me. Well, I know better!” Runs, to take our Wwater-hples, to drive s ‘No; ) Moving, Leave n . f A het siste r 6 “Well, let It me You wanted | stea i iy iu away our remuda, to block our esoar9 Mayinee eat as the day broke hurvi: | 7 be Buek, it sounded 80 funny that 1 had! +6 brothera to me, Jin. Now, don't you|to bew'robbers”, “+ Mab. YoU cattle away, ‘Why didn’t you stay with her, truls, to close in on us, Our fires pain to be put out, cue porpees Tete (9 8. . blaze down on La Mo- bia eaned in & gun “I geen her face when she walled for) the coyotes and me engl Le, a | "O 14 to laugh. Then be got bucking, squeal-| sort like a hawss, ‘cause they're all] “Shorely. yes, but he never would let Pacing eh OS ER Oe oat? ing crazy, and when he's feeling red fae wothaes ive. got.” if me. It wok trae what bee sigh paper awe hrows knives, which it's s ays up in the oity yonder, t 1 Race eiecils: Groarde ere “Buck handed ene that. He's shorely ph TA at alloca “Were you always ratsed aaa boy?” | robbed a train. f waai't there al all, | er to piay up thelr side of the forte) ot Nisa om pad Why, | ile wounded you with a knife? The} “Allus, He made me learn to ride} ot) tae tiabeing mea and bares | PR Me eA ond in commas rt ‘ope a i ive me s Burrendered abject before en Pi a oe ets tans cur! and rope and shoot ever since I Was liim, ‘That mean, ornary cuss went and | settlers. ‘They tu Daves trom hor hank, ery come Ponie-yoy,, Jim, and she ‘Give ij re hungry, What was I tol “And Nf that beyond that is the Bverlastin’ “ce o any m of Buck. whole lot afterward, and father shot} learned me scouting, cooking, packing |! ng wh ui 4 the lawyers . had vamoosed through @| pne brute! I'll wring his beastly | him, too, Father always shoots when!a hawss, tending wounds, hunting—all oa iy AK f Md gine C4 ment eee ogy as maar thant _ Bo there wore no cmp: | neck! You love himz”. . ...—.«. | the boys get intimate, Poor Buck! I gorts of things 1 been well educated wants ¥000, OF gone it's folder io’ the ‘honias . ae Voters \ bt ‘ brother Bill ‘cause Oh, but Buck was remorseful a! weaned, When I got old enough he Joe eet, Spe wi Ry aa in ie they iy aid Then ‘eather mt ras {op ot tn | A \ ‘