The evening world. Newspaper, October 11, 1905, Page 13

I | | + ,®ho gots the tickete for nothing, and so it doesn't cost me anything. I do not tho “eioniee wisbiars ‘MRS. NAGG AND MR.— Willie Warb By Rroy L. McCardell. That Overworked Lady Bemoans Her Husband's, Laziness. ROTHER WILLID would lke to have some tickets, “B for the ‘ball game, Mr, Noes. Why don't bo get them? Well, of a}! the men! poor boy is to pay for everything out of bis own pocket! | ‘When you want to go to the ball game I notice you are not atingy with yourself, “You gave him the money the other day? Now, don't begin to find fault with Brother Willie. He went up to the Polo Grounds to buy a ticket, and there were hundreds of: people wasting In line. It whys that way, and he is not strong enough to stand the atrain. He thinks you might get some tickets for him, Hoe is practising with the football te1m to play the Staten Island Stranglers next Sunday, and he can't lose the time to walt, in line with a lot of ruffving crowding him, and when he edged In at the head of the line, because ‘he was in @ hurry, a brutal policeman drove him back. Willle has such @ prejudice agninst policemen, anyway! “You bnven’t anything much to do, and I {hink you might go up and get h home ‘tickets, And you might do @ little shopping for me, I want aome pale- green velvet matohed, and I do not seem to have one moment's time to myself. Nothing hut work, work all the time. I have un engagement ito go to the theatre with Mra, Terwilliger, and you know how nervous she ds if shé's Asappointed, aro to call a cont my own, and I know you would carry on if I bougtt theatre! tickets, and sv I deny myself the pleasure of seeing anything, “T do not waste uny tnoney, Mr, Nagg. You begrudge me a Mttle pleasure, but, thank goodness, I have a few unselfish friends who won't eee me stuck in the hovse day after day and week after week like you do. “Of course I do not feel myself beholden to Susan Terwilliger, because the tickets do not cost her anything, and they are generally poor shows, and then ‘efter the matinee I have to take her to a restaurant and pay three or four dol- Jars Tor Ivnoheon for Susan Terwiliger, because she always complaing of feeling falat. “As she has the tickets, of course I am expected to pay fo: #he don’t stint henself in ordering, and of course if she geta th to pay for it I amnot going to take a club sandwich while Jobster or ‘sirloin with fresh mushrooms, But 1 notice that she gets a three | dollar dinner for tiokets 1 coult get for cents, but that ts just like her, and ft in no use t. pay for tlekets for two-dollar shows, which is the only kind aho'll| ® to on my treat, in the expectation that I will be bought a nice Junch, because! dhe will run into one of those cheap shopping places and say, ‘A bite will do us; Tai not @ bit hungry, are you?’ when she bas to pay for it! "Oh, Well, everybody tn this world is selfish, and I suppose you would prefer me not Co see anything, even when @ good friend te kind enough to give mo a) free ticket. It doesn't cost me anything, Mr. Nagg, 6 you need not find fault, “I want you to stop in at the bank too and ask them how dare ‘they to send me an impudent letter telling me I had overdrawn my account and they wouldn't pay the cheek I gave dhe dressmaker, What is a bank for, with all the millions Mt has, if it can't be accommodating? They are as bad as the life insuramce com-| panies, using up all the money in big salaries for themselves. + | “Dinner? I that all you come home for? Why didn't you marry @ cook? ‘You do not appreciate a wife!" ‘ With the Funny Men! Dallas News Man: Plannory—My! that's high, Don't ve Have a Laugh Do you expect that) x Home Magazi ae Dove oF Peace i BALL WARRIORS cy Nel evelt is aA peace conposhen Beste Boved owD Avon tesret ow he plans for it the middle OF the strenuous football gridgte, But if there he Peace releases Twill bea case of - Save te Pieces! Rents go up, but. nevar down Th tbis Plat-house- spotted town, Tenants Kick’ but landlords make A noe like Chocolate layer Cake ! “What's the difference between a| hov throumle geitin’ it togither? workingman and 4 politiclan?” Finnegan—Fakh, Of don't, but the “Dunno,” ’ agent does, One Woks for work and the other mee Ldn niche tes oh Chicago Tribune Man: Johnnie—Pa, is the dog otar a comet? Pa—No, how did you get that idea? Johnnle—'Cause it's the only one that's got o tail, Philadelphia Ledger Man: She—Miss Gabbie's such a bore! When whe darted talving I noticed — > He-Gractous! I didn't think you were that old, She—What do you mean? How old? He-Old enough to take notice when Bne started talking Orbe © " Flannery—Wohat rint do they charge for a house lotke yours? FarreneDoosn't tt cost a great deal to send a boy to college? Kooler—-No, ‘That's hardly / worth mentioning, But it coste like smoke to keep him there. * e8 Though he had six doctors of mure To help him prepare for the ®hork, Ho Ungered a week at death's door, Too modest and timid to knock, Pittsburg Dispatch Man: ‘Tramp (at back door)--Ah, falr lady, will you" — Old Maid~This fe 0 sudden, eee Misa Vassorward—And ‘wasn't the professor anvtully, awfully provoked Whoa he caught you th the very act of panting Ms door with masty, black, sticky tar? YatelonI guews he was pretty mad {about 1' Me told me to never darken hw door jyraint Chicago Newe Man: , “The best Nfe preservers ere made of corte, ane they not?’ observed ihe hart. mare _deummer, “Not to any greet extent,” roplied the g from Kentucky, "The bes: one I over saw was made of olass, with a cork in one end of it,” . ef “T heaw,"’ sald the e@aronsth friend, “Dear me!" exclaimed Mla Pider- loigh, excitedly, “Ie it to any one I know?" NO ENERGY, ‘The notions some men have of "A Contended mind" are hazy, ‘They claim they have contented minds When they are merely lazy, Philadelphia Preas, Laws or, Yoree-What dods ehe do now? Docior—Teies my patience, ~Xes, my wife used to be a Young pe:pie can ob- dvioe/ on thelr tangled ting Betty, Let for her be addressed to ‘XY, Post-Offloe box 1,84, New by q peomrammmey Ta Ema Af om i AORS, 8 UES ‘PE hod orthaos, ” (Banker Farson, of inilllonaires have forgotten News Item,) ve his Art (anf Near-Art) ‘Treasures Morgan site with aching heart; Bince he recognizes smiling’s A Lost Art, Gould forgets the Wabash squabble, Dally grows morose and thin, As he racks bis brain recalling How to grin, Tohn D.'s wig wags with emotion And his tender hear beats quicker, a a 2] ‘| A he pumps his rain to conjure 7 { Up a onicker. Blinks—1 wonder <zhat makes her take | Gates (now-made New York ctvillan) fF Silent muses for a white; says mulll- to wile, —~ cn: Pears in Molasses. H*t four peers are 4 popular dn this fashion’ Pack in a bean pot with a ttle water, ‘and moluebos to cover. Bake til soft aod put In cans while hot, Spiced Black Butler. ’ till soft, Bit, \TEW purple grapes Toe ar ts ee. re man. Think ef the awful dearth of bonnets the! tingula matt ot } Donselohh—where Sree ee think of the subtly wn- effeot on the home, €) €0 get wu how hat & WomAN would have to get e NEW and piace over the Has ta: yet to be discovered who considers any price paid Pennsylvania Games didn't break all divorce Ned bo identified with new millinery und the Wednesda ler. \@ \@ \. Tho Chain-Lightning Poet, The Smile-Restorers. By Albert Payson Terhune . . By Nixola Greeley-Smith, * PENNGYLVANTA bank president, aged seventy-two, FA took unto himeelt a fourth wife the other day, Btrhightway he told dis.new-made bride to hang her bonnet on the fourth peg in a wardrobe where hung throe bonnets of three former wives—a mute matrimonial register in, millinery. ‘Dhe peg, the banker decbited, he had kept freo through years of widowerhood, that the bonnet of his fourth wife might adorn tt, Bo wags the world Pennsylvania. Bui fanoy an al- tempt at similar classification by even the most monogamous Now York min, The mere notion of having a wife for every \ Evening, Octo HUGHES “ NOMINATION Tal Odell the latest news is - Hughes the nominaish refuses. This witt mean to Boss Odelt That Hughes will keep. on raising Harlem! Tt seems to be ho easy game To fill the gaping Hall of Fame But if ‘twere Shame thot Aad its Haul Theres HYDE MS CURDY and t WoNDER\,| IP TLL Ey: Bat KS y — ‘Then proclaims; ‘I'll bet a million T could smile!" Carnegte takes laughter lessons, Practising with kilts a-wriggle; Then he sobe: Hoot, mon! I canna’ Bulld a rigetet" Til last spring, Depew emiled ever; But his grin has ceased to work, Nowedays he can't concoot a Bingle smirk, Yet in one Place hope”ehines brightly For the smiloless millionalres— Place whére smiles come quick and Dlentt When the Equitable magnates rH ws val ts Houve out" ip the R With « She-So Dauber has given up the pen ‘brush | J to malie!” aks Eaiee ae salsa BEAUTY HINTS Y To Remove Tattoo Marks, R.Yes; you can’ have the tat- too marks removed, The peo- ple who do the tattoo work are the best to consult, The process consifts tn applying a concentrated so- lution of tannin to ‘the tattooed spot, ‘The applicatién is thade with fieedles such as are used for the tattoo, After the tannin, the altric stiver penoll is mused and the mark {9 obliterated. For Red Eyelids, K.-Horate of soda, two grains; camphor water, one ounce, Mix + and naturate a small plece of lint Would make him feet like & Turk or 4 ‘must imply in the Pennayl- ‘aod millinery were ao. xide for Superfluous Hair. should not use perowide to bleach betake herself to Sloux Walls, which J superfuous hair, The effect of pw n Toxide 1s, after several applications, to I delleve that even the make tho hadr #o light that it will not © turn her toed plac's bonnet. qe perceptible, Mixing ammonta half she tilbj a creation trom the and half with” peroxide would in time the first time, only the # Ars that’ destroy the helr, at least on the surface . Jot che skit, But it might create a good stare sang, by the way. OF oourse the dou! of Inflammation Before it pad the < Mhomselves, chanted “We Are desired effect, MH of gum arabic, one ounce; 000, moist ‘sugar, one-hal, an ounoe; pire \hot water, three quarter pint. Dissolve, When tiie #0- HSSIHThere 1s no reason why you |’ ' ber 11, #* chia earth Is hell, as Br, Keogan's I ‘Tetle black man” taught him in the |* allomed play at the Garrick Inet |night, then three and one-half hours of Shaw on nationaliam, Uberalism, land- lordism, somlalism, Catholiclem aad ro- mantiolsm 18 at least purgatory, “Joon Bull's Other Bland” ts oer- talnly not one of the Blosned Ialoe. It ty & dreary woate of talk, It ie not a play; ttf simply @ long-drawn-our dis- cussion of questions more auited to @ freo-and-enay mocting of ‘the Fabian Soolety than to an American audience which couldn't possibly have $2 worth ef Interest in then). To « person who tna ® @oul, @ heart and brains there is @ grew deal that appeals, @ great dori that raises him owt of the mawk'sh medivere muck with which Broadway In paved, But there isn't any play. ‘That'a what Mr. Arnold Daly, olever a be 18, wasn't clever enough to see. Mr. Daly, with the tnypetuosity of the Irishman*aggravated by the enthusiasm of the actor, 6 lovt his head over Shaw, He bh fled to distinguish be- tween ‘what 's good for the stage and what is bad for it He fs like a man tn love with @ woman—hie oritioal faculty is gone. Unloss both he and his author are more careful, the bottom will drop Out of the Shaw pan that has cracked many @ toothsome corn, One playwright without plots is quite «rough, and just now the only mantle in our midet that Is covering a multl- tude of ging on this soore is hanging none too/eoursly from the shoulders of George Ade, Thomas Broadbent (Mr. Mitchell) Proposes to Nora Reilly (Mise Herne), Tr this tnstance Shaw has fated to 42 whgt Ade Ip nearly always, careful to do—anake himself entertaining, Hore- tofore Bhaw has been careful on that point. He has tickled us ‘ato forget- fulness of a little thing like @ plot. But now'he asks us totake him and his Ire- land sertgusly, to Yorget our Chauneey Olcotts and our Andrew Macks, and to believe that ‘top of the monning,” “broth of a boy” and other accepted Trish pleasantries are mere decoys to get our money into the box office, “fairy tales, fairy tales,” ts his any- thing but bithesome song. ‘My way of joking," says he through one of bis ters, “ls to tell the truth—it'’s funniest joke in the qworld,”” But he forgets that he should tell ft either entertainingly or forcibly, In “John Bull's Other Island” he does nether, Not only that, byt he loses his grip on hie chief character, Larry Doy, before the dreamer-re- former is half through the bossy business. Tt f# only in his merolless, half-pa- thetic analysis of Irish character that Larry atttkes you as worth his wind, ‘This speech by Mr. Daly was the brightest spot in a generally dull even- ing, This wndentably fascinating and uncsually tntelligent actor made it flare up like a beacon Nght; but the “FOHN BULL'S OTHER ISLAND” A Dreary Waste. Arnold Daly as Larry Doyle, hope ft gave of good things to come soon died out, After ‘hat Mr. Daly had Jittle to do but stand around with bis hands in his pockets, The plotiess piece left every one stranded, » Two only chatacters who had anything happen to them were ® plg and @ girl One was run over by an English autcomoblie, the other thrown over by @n uncivil engineer Larry went back to Ireland and the girl after olghteen years’ absence sole ly to give romance a black eye, Tho in’erest aroused ia an English opotist by mere mention of Norah Reilly's name prompts Larry to go with him and see the fun, You know eight be knocked out in vhe' first pound, Norvh is @ aspiniess apinster-a new Sort of Shaw, heroine, b¥ the way— Who doesn't do anything, She jist ete an walks, You felt socry for Missy Chrystal Herne in her dire noth: doinghess, It was a oad case of “What could the sini dot’ = Wihen L Neglected hep and sie sobbed he: 40 matrimony on the ehest of the Toast-beety Broadbent, who grabbed the Opportunity of & seat ih Paniamem and everything else in sight, you fe rex leved that @he fed ot bust done come. fthing. Mr. Dodson Mitchell certainly deserved all he got, It was small enough return for all che taking he had to do, He made Broadbent a trifle too obvious, pethaps, but he is eniiiod to great credit for saving the speoci- making bore from, belng mobbed by the audience, All the men ip the cast were splendid, ‘Never has Mr, Daly's dompany dis played such universal ability, One who made much of @ smal) part was Mt, Fred\Tyler as an English yalot, In a wrangle yith the greedy gwner of “a dirty little potato patch.’ whom My John Findiay made hideously real, Mr ‘Tyler grew red in the face as he told the tragedy of the Boglish poor, and fairty gripped the audience for a mor ment. “I am of Ireland!" he cried, "I'd Ike tof out the enable and make it A present to Germany to keep the Kolser busy for awhile,” Shaw wastes no sympathy on the Irish, He dubs them dreamers and preaches the gospel of efficiency, He takes o slap at Yeats andthe school of Celtic revival by eaying that the dreamers want Ireland ‘to be an old woman and to call it Cathlern ‘na Hoollhaa, “Jobn Bull's Other Island” we get Uttle sympathy from elther the [Ash or ygoers in genoral, Mz, Daly's crouble Pall wot be pete oor. into the Gar- riok at 8 o'clock—It wh! there at all, GHARLES DARNTON, —p- be gottiog them MAY MANGON*S DAILY FASHIONS. N spo of the num- I per and vartety of : the ehirt wadete al ready fomiliar, HOW Here is & notable @x- api, when 2 mk rably wall eulted to the season, and appropriy ately can be made from ailk, wool or the many washable wastings whioh in these days are worn throughout the yer Ae tilustrated, , the material the quantity of ma terial required for the medium gine Is 4 1d Forde 1, 8 18 yards 21 at yards “4 inohes aan! wpattova 5,171 In cut seg for a %2, 4, %, a Mp and 42 tnch bust ution We geld add alcohol, two fluid Wyncen; Pighloride of mereury and wal- Peele Wiz grains cach, ‘The Inet be disavived in the alcohol ¥ add Ae Hi ne, might dave Joined meagure, How to Qvtain York. Send Tucked Skirt Waist—Pattern No, 6,171, URBAU, No, St Wert Twenty -tiint atrest, Se eee te in coln of stamps for each Patiern a put mane, and addreas vleiniy, a z Call or send by mati to THE BVANING WORLD then that dear old romance is going to ed i 4 oo’