The evening world. Newspaper, September 2, 1905, Page 7

es ee vee Fie Eveatad ‘Love Letters of an Old Maid By Roy 1. McCardell. To a Young Lady Engaged to Be Married, ¥ DEAR MARGARET: Your letter announcing that you were engaged to-youtg Horace Willing and would SHORTLY BE MARRIED has just bepn received. ‘To say that {t fills ne WITH PItY AND CONTEMPT ta drawing it mildly. Oh, you silly girl, how could you be 80 SQFT? With MY BXAMPLD before your eyes, too! Think of THI. TRIUMPHS I have hed all these years—no, I mean for tho} past few years—in BREAKING MEN‘S WARTS! You have doubtless thought that 1 was FOND OF THD CREA; TURES, that I sought them out and WELCOMED THEIR APTENTIONS. My dear Margaret, I did that simply to FOOL THE WRETCHES, You notived that at times the ‘men seenied to avold me whon I was ALL SMILES, that they hove even left suddenly, PLEADING OTHER ENGAGHE- MENTS, when I have come into the room and SMILED AT THEM? - ~ ‘Ah, my dear girl, that showa us how CRAFTY THESE WRETCHES of mon Gre. Some, whose LIVES I HAVE BLASTED BY MY CRUBLTY, when (hey l\d*s Ho Have a Laugh with the Funny Men Bosh-T knew @ man once who had hever met with a daappointment in his e. Josh—How was that? Bosh—He was never looking for any thing but troubdle.—Detrojt Free Press, 0.80 Black Jim, the errand boy, would per- eist in eating his cake or plo first and the srosser clenfents afterward, Hiy mistress expostulated, so Jim ex- plained, “You see, Miss Sunte, 1 allers warts good room for my ple and cake, so 1f anything has to be lef’ out it can be de peas.”—Lippineolt Magasin, eee ‘were led on by my SEEMING SURRENDER, to fall madly in love with me, these Whom I have LAUGHED TO SCORN when they did propose, TOLD. THE, HERS. 80, when you seo men PLY FROM MY GIRLISH LAUGHTER, i fen iny BIREN WILES, you may. know that it is men who have heard of my IGERISH COQUETRY. But how about your engagement? I know you will be happy, because you tiave not the brains or FORTITUDE OF CHARACTER TO REMAIN UNWED. T Gan, Nhave. I will NEVER, NEVER MARRY. You doubtless think young Horacé Willing, your flance, a fine fellow, but while f WOULD NOT DISCOUR- AGE YOU, I know he is a weakling. You will be very WRETCHED AND UNHAPPY. Oh, I know you think you Jove him, but what will you do when you find he {s neglecting you going to his Give Account Se e business EVERY DAY? Little do men think of breaking hearts at home when they go downtown to their offices and forget the patient, tailing wife at home, with nothing to distract her attention from the monotony of existence except to read books, to taka a beauty nap, to g0 out to tea or to a matines, or per- haps shopping! This is to what you CONDEMN YOURSELF. I 4o not want to ey ANY- THING to CAST A SHADOW over your married life, but Horace is @ weakling of he would not have proposed to such a silly young creature as you when there are WOMEN OF MORE MATURE.AGE, of more determined character, yes, of finer figure—because you know, my dear Margaret, my figure Id FAULTLESS as # sculptor’s viston. Xou may be happy, THOUGH I DOUBT I'v. Horace will probably take to @rink, Hy is well to do and steady now, but WHAT WILL HE BET He haa an uncle who drank TERRIBLY and swore dreadfully, HIM, and just to annoy me he would drink more and swear even worse every time I waa around. I do not say that YOUR INTENDED HUSBAND will be & brute and, after spending all his money and yours and breaking up your Uttle home, will bent and desert you, BUT BE CAREFUL. Do not let him IMPOSR ON YOU. Do not be a softy. Make him account for every CENT OF lig MONEY and EVERY MOMENT OF HIS TIME. Do not permit him to have a word to say in the house. Always have your mother or some girlhood friend. say myself, around to assist you in subjugating him I wish T could stacerely say that I think you will be happy, but I will be frank. HORACE I8 A WEAK- LING and his infatuation for you is BUT MOMENTARY. Well, tar be it from me to say anything except to wish you joy, but I know the ragh step you ard taking will only result IN LIFELONG MISERY. Choerfully yours, 1 used to REPROACH} "The man died eatin, some one said to Brot! “Yes, suh.” he replied: ‘sometimes Providence puts us in paradise ‘fo'-we ite to heaven!'—Atlante Corieiitution. eee wthe said the red-eyed clerk, “I'm & Httle late thia morning, The mid- night ofl, you know"—— “Him!” interrupted his employer, “oll, eh? Well, the next time you paint the town I'd advise you to use water colors exclusively.”—Philadelphia Preds. eee watermelons.” ir Dickel, “Education,” said Uncle ben, “ain’ no benefit to a young man if it etahts him recitin’ Shakespeare when he ought to be mixin’ de whitewash.’'—Washing- ton Star, eee “Oh, I'll get through all right,” boasted the convicted murierer. “There's always some loophole of the law for a fellow.” si “Yea,"" replted his counsel, “but the loophole for you, I'm afraid, a a mnope.""—Philadeiphia Press. oe Queery—You've got a Morris chair bat your house, I @uppose? * Henp»k—Oh, yes. Queery—They're great, I think. Don't you enjoy it? . Henpeck—I do,when I get @ chance, |but Henrietta's cat usually gets thore «“Tin-Clad’”’ Warships. ULTIPLE screws were used ab M easly as the American civil war an certain vessels known as “tin-clnds" on the Mississippi, their adoption belng necessitated ‘by the shallow draught. The great advantage they possess in securing a vessel against total disablement and for manoeuvring goon made them the rule in the nevy. They were much longer in coming Into use in the merchant service. But alnce tae era of the very large transatlantic steamers, beginaing with the Paris and New York and the Teutonic and Ma- ANN TEAK, Is tt true there ts insanity in Horace's family? AT. ee v course et Cotymbia College or at the Pratt Inetitute, The exeminations are very difMoult, and unless you have passed the course tt fs not so easy to Secure a position, as most of the pos! tione in the big metropolitan. Mbrarica oe secured through dufluence of;some To Go on the Stage. Dear Miss Ayer: AVE @ young daughter whose-only cited mono tl peatck and the teacher a3 ry reat ability. Would you Kindly Men Sine ie she could get with a company, ‘We are Door folks and could not her a course in a dramatic school, R. B, Go to one of the first-class dramatic e@gents whose business it is to place professionals with theatrical companies. “THE HIGH ROAD * TO SUCCESS. yaaa Who Needs a Model}. Advice to Girls Who Hope | Dear mie ayer: ‘ t to Succeed in New York. A amine hats sty A 4 OSKtLs im fn life ia to be an actress. In, the school she attended, she re-| festic, all very lange veasela have besn ‘built with twin screws, BY T. & POWERS t DENT PLEASE EXCEPT (GRATULATION S Ai Ata guceesoml. EPPO FOR PRACE™™= 11 Wands, 25 cenrs, PLEASE SEN. BRACKET a REFORMER DEPEW GIVES IF BACK FUSIONIST AT SEA * A LOVELY PROSPECT, He—T shall work hard, oh! ever so hard, and in a year ér two we'll have rer? } ‘our own little home in the country, Mr. Beefwad—Fine. He oan steer you She-Oh, how lovely! We oan rent stir to the penitentiary without get- A GOOD ONE, ALL RIGHT. Mr, Ollroll—Ig Squirmington » mood and board in town, can't we, dear?—| ing you in than any other lawyer in’ Brooklyn Life. own.—Louisville Courler-Journal, THE REVISED LEXICON. Mrs. Oldun—All you young girls now- adays seem to be muscular athletes, Mies Oirong—Yes, indeed, In the proud lexicon of feminine youth there is no such wort as “frail.” — Phjladelphia Ledger. Tae. "AND ALL THe BIRDS ARE Flown! “Pretending” Exercises in Outdoor Physical Culture Which Have Been Devised for the Improvenient of Children. Saturday Evening, September 27 . PICTORIAL POINTS ON THE NEWS | ‘ace pesled off his raincoat Daisy nearly fainted. Ei By Alice Rohe. - TOLD you about’ ie Sar aloreey i geie baie Oe har porto Well, Horace’ f mor He's been in New York juat six days, and there's no use of bin staying any Igngor He's thing there ix to'be seen, SU rk “Isn't tt refrashing to think thet these: from tle wilds can come Into little ft all In six days, when ’ and haven't begut to see hale “Horace will go back home and tell the folks quoted in Icas than a week. Panga “My, he's a swell boy! He took Daisy out yestertay to ehow her her life, He had announced that ‘he wasn't going to let mal Yorkers got ahead of him on the matter of dresa and that he Nad come “When he appeared at the little Harlem flat for Daley we thought hé rather dressy, even thougli he did have. a mackintosh on, Shire < “He asked Daisy te go downtown to lunch, and when they eat down and | “What do you guppoae he had on? Why hie last year’s dreveeutt! Ob, be beautifull “ <a i “When Dasy stared at him in horror he hm decidedly , = of monchalance; ‘Oh, what's the use? One saat fone ata has eek ‘ He Wasn't Going to Let Thess Smarty New Yorkers Get Ahead of. Mim: { In Drees. , ‘ don't believe tn letting New Yorkere think we fellows trom the West don-know what style is.’ . * igi “Then Horace took Daisy to the matinee. She suffered agonios, she has been explaining to her friends that she wasn’ if Seng oot Ne and that the man she went to the matinee with wasn't an Be reer “What bas Horace seen? Oh, the Eden Musee, of course, ‘He thought: was grand Thies! gist to ect Gan cae Ci a ‘him feel ifike @ real devil to eat chop eusy right in the of euch « ¥ § pine oo aetentowe: He even stole one of the Chinese spoons as @ sotiventr, Tate: 1e tho out~ap? ; “Horace diin't care for thé Metropolitan art Gfuseum, Bs nye Jalen Ham to pieces, “He Cra{gmile hag an art gallery that can beat the Metropoltan all hasn't the quantity, but quality predominates. x “All of the Judge's pictures have people'with clothes on, says Horate, and of course, there's @ lot more work on them. Horace wanted Dalsy to mo through, Horace went,’ and fixed the stuck-up bellboys, should guess not. He wasn't so easy es that! Spt “Horace went through the Aquarium and up to Grant's Tomb. He spekt ft- History and finiahed thst. : teen minutes in the Museum of Naturad “He says New York lan't #0 much, after all. He doesn't think it compares: “No, Horace didn’t atop at the Imperial.” , ase fl the St. Regis and the Waldorf on 9 rubberneck trip, but ehe, tol ee so he said. nip tent Week with Kansas City. There isn't half so’ much excitement. ‘ A Sleepy Tree. A curious member of the vegétable, sunset and curls its kingdom has been diecovered in the} of ® Distal. pea alg Wy A: Far East. It ie a species of acacia which grows to @ height of about eight feex, and when full grown closes iis leaves together in curls each day at Betty's Balm for Lowers. The Effect of Gosstp. Dear Betty: N‘% long ago a boy whom I thought a that takes you out. It Is pertectly Proper to go out with your cousin if You care to, but don’t, lead him to he eve you love him, A Bratal Husband Doar Betty: AM. a married woman, | twent I Youss old. and havea nie in married rly. reat deal wbout told some of any’ triends something about me, 1 hear nm ae Gia I broke off my friendghip with, him. Do you think I was right? £ was sorry after and we are not yet speaking. CILLEAN. if you are gure he made unplessant remarks about you, you were right in| days. cutting, bis) acquaintance, Rut you should give him a chance to expYnia. Her Cousin Loves Her, Deer Hetty: and fa 60, never complained until he started to “lap my face before his and my. sister, diam fo ashamed, as 1 ala not want v ‘0 know the way I have treated, Now I am. broken in hentth a AM « young girl of neventeen and] and spirit, Shall I stay with him 4: hear "or teaye nim aad ty to a0. ar myse tf? I have no family. A. C. Ry Judging from your letter you ai married to an Irreclaimable brute, Y¢ have never kept company, A cousin of mine, nineteen years old, ‘but Yong in this country. cares’ for parents do not I lke not me vory much. But my are for him, and neither do I. Dut not tor my Cellow: | have no children and’ there te ro feneod He atwase aula my Seite me it ies | WAY You should submit to. such. treat- Piper for me to eo out with him. of, J,{ment, Let him Know that "unites Ne ‘You do not have to marry every man! mends his ways you will leave him.» —-— z Sa May ‘Manton’s Daily Fashions, lay ‘Manton's Daily Fashions, \ ay TICH simple coa- - f pa S tumes as this i 7 j : ond are always ; in demand for achoal wear and are alw attract! and charming, @* as serviceable. Th tits instance the material js royal blue serge, trimmed with a fancy band- ing, while the shield and collar are of white, but the ais- 1 \ | tests a second, then lowers the arms aug xhules slowly, The story Is spoken to take just the length of time required, Instead of the ordinary bending exerr cleo, the children have small aticks to| © pick up, bending correctly, of course, A stall bale of hay ts used with pitch- forks for the harvest games, witch are *y part of the body. sewand méyements, t he Ideavf roaping with walld loves to pretend and is willing to nid 43 given Rowsise that physieal tmpvovement in the children 16 aost eratifying ( the Parcata, who soe their small sous and daughters visibly ‘utonded to develop the shouldera and} checks soythe. Every! variations, { tin Cs \ v tude mi wools inclu in (ang ine 0 walst 3 and the are ‘ 5 . 79 through any Kiad of physical-oulture| joined one te the lg veiled In the exelte-( other an uent of a storys. This young teacher} [Yt inds her classes growing dally and the! tho “3 de® apis hed aye shi be i Mi improving in health and strength while iets it atthe wolng through their physical cukure e. enclees with an Bide ay if they weve at play, ———— Elght-Word Puzzle, Seaerer a pays the Philadelpiia North 3 +g and alin thie bel ‘The quantity jerk eight words ‘wita | 2859 each omitted, | ant Ae mpc