The evening world. Newspaper, August 14, 1905, Page 9

OETS have been proverdially un- P lucky in thetr marital and love affaits—not so novelists. At the + orenent the great English masters of the novel are, with, perhaps, one oF two exceptions, all tenedidts, and, ‘what ds more gratifying, all happy benedicts! Be SP aM Fas A Difficult Job. open novelist of Canada, the United States. tine, of thie city, and hag taken ter placo among the olitical hostesseb, She ehterfains the statesmen of the day In one of the most magnificent man- Cartten House Tertace, ler husband's books, Bennett, and next year shi author of ‘The Countess Tekia” have been married thirty Mrs. Jerome K Jerome, the “petter-hatf’ of the writer who is dne of the comparatively few ‘English humorists, wag the daughter of Bpan- ish officer. @he is immensely proud of her. husband's popiilarity, and <sharee and the mistress of DitepIngham, where her hujband’s many intoresting agrieu!- tural experlmenta have been tried, was the only child of s. well-known Nor- folk magnate, tle Inte Major Biargitson. ‘This year the popular couple celebrate their: sliver weseine, en pes t that not marriéA and set- ted down to home life did/Mr. Rider The Lapless Man. By Albert Payson Terture. inh SERPS ESS idem OT HVE seen full fhany @ brainless man ‘And men bereft of legs or ears; But. 4t nematned for Michigan ‘To'coin the marvel of the years By. eyoluting that poor ehap,, The man who ham’t got a lap, failure én love's courts he'd bel ‘Twould turn hig girl with anger mute hen, every time she'd mount his knee, She'd unsuspecting| shoot the Becauve no resting place she > Miko. SE Is really a great sin, ~ Til have-to go up in @ balloon "To collect a bill from him, a An Uncharted Language To. is the conversation between the girl with the 50-cent earrings, and the girl with the gold-plaikd |’ “(bracelet of her wrist, says the Chicago ‘Tribune. _ “Baylia! “Hajjer vacation yet?" “Nope. Getttt week arnéx. ‘Bet! Haddagoodun, too, napolis, Gonnaweek. Mettalotavold, friends naddasplendtime, _ Sumpindoin’ everyday. Sayliz did Jevvengo ,tindin~ * mapolist” . « Nope.”* “Belicight few gottalotts frionds “there Punk few hain't,' Gotaher place ‘“pleked out chet?” “¥'bet} Imagoin twaukshaw, Guessile gofum there t’ the country,” *Bjunasase, Gottabuncha ktdslong— Seg ne a Mawzez theyvail got. PH na Ee ROW Mle Gus "i yess Rien 24 ahevey he [ “alone” de Mik And leave him in his lapleseutss: Ah, cruel fate and sorry hap ¢ ‘To lose love's race by just « lap) slsstnierah wc let Upset the Court. BELF-SATISFIED young lawyer game over from Ohio to repre- original Juriediction, gayw the Detroit ree Press. =2i Soy. Sapen . Sep ois es Bo: eyo er became tangled the Seco Banity, adviasd time bo Bead tp and repeat with greater deliberation. ‘Then the Court let the youth down by saying: “If you do thalt Twill be better able to follow the thread of your con- tention,” for” Haggard bogin te cater ae an author, Ushed six years miter he became @ ben- edict. Mrs, Coulson’ Kernahan’ {9 quite as while “King Solomon's Mints" was pub- |'prolifid a writer as her husband; they @ protty compliment to. have both paid ‘a Cellow rovelist by naming their ven- side home ‘Tiroms."’ Mr, J. M, Barrte, who bide fair to sink his reputation as @ novelist in tha of « dramatist, went to the stage for @ wife. 7 ‘The lady who is now Mrs, Barrie asted % that ii her husband's fret play, the dritfiant poottirey little farce, “Walker, London.” Tn: her case marriage spelled retirement; but A NEW YORKER IN BROOKLYN # «& 2 & By T. E. Powers -His Explorations in the Land of Tangled Trolleys and Tribulative Transfers—He Was Two Days in Discovering Brighton Beach. Thi WITH Round WHEELS. ink She R ants eally + GO To ey BRIGHTON, NOTHING 1) Orie inacd fn, eae da.”* a and Kin have a, becuanut 2 hospitable to. iiterary nd” dheathioat Mi se aan Se ats : a Seman So ; 2 eaty a allow the fact to the who had t ‘before her moa- a8 The ‘Laughoscope. Best Efforis of the Funny Men. “How da you mind things in Amer seat’ asked the interviewer of. the Bu- /conaactar—wWhy don’t you move up forwan, there? p' Passenger—The motorman won't let me.—Cleveland Leader. } oe 8 “can't I sell You one?” querted the phonograph agent. ‘It “will store up eterything you say and repeat it to you Inter,” “Gosh, not" replied the rural party. “D've got a wife tew home that kin dew all uy thet, by hen!"’-~Chicago News. eee “Young en,” said the Clergymau, "don't you know. vhat ts very Wrong to play baseball on Sunday? What would your father say if he knew about {tt “You'd better ask him,’ was tho re- ply: “he's playing shohtstop,”—Harper’s Weekly. \iruibcc eet ‘Wite—I' made © big batch of thes cakes to-day. rf Husbaid—You dtd, indeed, dear. Wite—How do you lmow how big & batch I made? * Husband—Oh! I thought you sald “potch.""--London Tit-Bits, indu); Queth " “When the mad dog’s on @ rampage ‘He 'can only bite my etick,’ ror Sampled: Everything, _ HE nelgtibors having dropped ta informally upon, the ithrons, during the evening, Mra, Suthron suzges!s that imyer hudband will gather some mint from the mint bed tn. tho Le A a gent esa is aie “ote Benulne, Kenta julepa Ge arrival of the gucsis, gosa will seerch of the des! rit ent for the drink. He remains. in the garden. duke a while, and finally the others go out to ascertain what the delay, says the ¥ “Why does a woman always add a doar?” hi postscript to her letter?” “Well,” nswored the . ungailant wretch, “she probably figures out in her her letter has made you eay, ans last word.’ leaves, enge and burdosl, find a sprig of mint onyw! By T. 0. MeGill e =