The evening world. Newspaper, August 10, 1905, Page 13

rh Ba Wotltd’n Wore Madarine, Thurs das Tho “heen! nf A Novelist’s Trick. He Played It on Himself.| vening. - Fooling the Farmer---As Usual. By J. Campbell Cory. T. he Letters of An Old Maid. By Roy L. McCardell. _ Ha By Walter A. Sinclair. | (A Pittsburg inventor has invented « machine that can turn out @ ples @ minute or 2,400 an hour—Newas Item.) SASH of my clionta ts a well-known O hovellst whose n je, of courns, T can't give you. He In a ou- IT 1S WitHwouT SEE, mY FRIEND, NO, I, iy fi You pexiite4 Tous character—not exeotly lazy. but al.) To Her Niece Mildred, Giving Her| ways boing diverted trom bis work on | DECEPTION AND WITH THE GREATEST EASE N Pittsburg, where they have black alr " ' Some Good Advice. the slightest excuse, His trotible {| N FLOW And new rich ev'ry day, —_— ¥ DEAR MIt+| that ts that he 48 much a capital fellow THAT | CAUSE TH 1S MONEY TO A baker wise now makes his ples | 47, " 3 any suggestion | ; Tn automatic way. he Latest and Best Jokes of DRED: Your|ho will take up with any sug | mM YOUR WHISKERS letter antiouncing|made to him to go anywhere or| FRO He atioks the meas into a press, Professional Newspaper that next’ Wed-}do anything’ He loves companton- And then the fruit and flour H nesday 1s your| ®t and is restless tf he stays for any) Comes from the dies as forty ples lamorists. birthday ts just |leneth of tlme in the house,” says a Hach minute of the hour. SETI lnwyer in tha You ‘Companion. “Well, one day 0 of his dusiness needed his immediate attention, and I caked him up on the telephone. “I can't come down,’ be answered. “ ‘Sick? Ieaked. “'No, not sick,’ replied he. ‘but I can't go out—that’s all. Better drop tn here with the papers you want me to sign a8 you go uptown.’ “T opuld not imagine why a man who ‘was not {ll shoul! not be able or witling to attend to such important business. at hand, My dear girl, do not be 80 BOLD IN » TELLING TOUR AGB. A young girl's age is no one's business, . T told a young man the other night that-I remembered PERFECTLY all about the obelisk in Central Park, and ho asked ff 1 was present when {t was first erected. Of course It was s0 pre- Think! Forty pies of even size, And Gone to dainty brown, That toothsome shade, each minute nade i In @timy Pittsburg town While patient wives work all thelr lives At learning making pies, ‘Tote printing press does i in leas ‘Toan time to wink your eyes. Pit tl eee poser! oA Via Ciiep dough all ni AM nice and browa, with ld clamped sown And daintity befrilled. Now, women can “ha! ba{" at man Beoause he'll have to make ‘This new complaint: “Machine pies ain't Téke ma'e preas used to bake.” ——_ Philadelphia: Press: Man. “Now,” waid the teacher, who thd” been describing the habits of “Oh! wure! the pote-cat.”” Hen stary “But,” said the lawyer, “your case. seems TI don’é eo what I can do for you. You amit that you beat. your wife." si "Yee," replied the defendant, “but Hy wite's teatimony, will discount thée. Ghe'd never admit that she waa beaten,” Pittsburg Despatch Man, Pastor—-I was not acquainted with the deceased, but I heard that she was divorced twice prior to her marriage to you. Now, I hardly know what to say of her in way of eulogy, The Widower—Er—couldn't you say that she was faithful to the last? oe @ Bhade of Shakespeare—My, but to-Ghy. fs awfully hot. Shade of Brutustiet's go, for hike comes Methusaleh, and he'll tell us‘ the summer of the year 24. goods, | Chicago News Man, But when I met him at the door of his apartment I could see quickly enough why he had no wish to appear in pub- lic, Across his forehead, written in*a brownish yatiow, was a date—Jan. 2. “E coutin't help laughing, and he looked at me in e puzzled way for a second, and than he said. ‘Oh, I see, You are wondering what this date on my, face is for.” "Yes, sald I. ‘Who wrote it there’ “"T did’ “You did!’ I cried, wondering ff he was insane. " "Yes,' he replied. ‘You know what a | great hand I am for flying here and | there and neglecting my work? Well, | I have hit on a scheme to fool myself. When I have a lot of work to do I take | some Jodine and write the date up here. | {2 won't wash off, and a man can hardi Ko about much avith it on. It wears o after several days. Meanwhile, here I stay and write like fury!” {tori strolled into the Mttle shop kept by an old man, @ native of the place. In looking about she found @ kind of nen oloth which she bought for fancy HE ASKED IF I WAS PRESENT WHEN IT WAS FIRST ERECTED. @ Posterous that I laughed with the rest. But if I thought he meant It for IMPU- DENCE I'd scratch his eyes out, How they love me for the interest I take here! Every day they ask me if I am going back to New York. I am thinking of it, of course, BUT I CAN- NOT SPOIL THE HAPPY DAYS FOR THEM, and so I tell them not for a long time yet, and then they sigh! They are 80 AFRAID I will FLUTTER AWAY LIKE A LITTLE BIRD. It hea been ¢0 pleasant here. I make expire of agony. He brightened up,.end| said I MUST GO with @ party on @ trip on his yacht off the New England coast. HE WOULD NOT BH DENIED, He is 0 solicitious. He continually begs me not to fatigue myself, AND NOT TO SIT UP AND BRPAK MY HEALTH. ft so. Last Wednesday the minister] y41dred, I need not say that he MUST | om GIVE UP HOPE. All I care tor men | Fi {s to BREAK THEIR HEARTS! Be-| i ware of them, my dear! Do not allow 2 any of them TO CALL tM I return. | ‘Taey may call thinking I AM THERD. | | Mr, Swinks, the florist? Is his wite 7 still afling? ‘That man Swinks will marry BEFORE SHE 18 COLD, mark | Sever en watt srr sere ANN . ‘They shunned the flery Well bait “ind Py gid. Sinetin j "Dope et, thie oo, fnto the rooord | Ta tal, it wos &.aDor Foal cares Sear | = Eas Sekar er Bisco plain eng the shy ; 9 And kept away the heat, MAMMA’S BOY w Ww w By F.G.Long Ww Ww W He Gives the Tiger Rug.a Hair Cut) steric a a a (Henk! 3 AVE IT AS Cone Stop! _ ony SPANK THE Vint Tac eee ee COME on lers ¢ HAIRCUT! RENE ree oO, ony | Tear menrest ct. ws alt ] GWE XHE RUG A AAR CUT, Chicago Tribune Man, girl, CALLS TO GEE HER! He pretends But, my dearest girl, that is the of the hotrid creature. You thought he called to see you; but, |, ally chitd, it was ME HE SOUGHT! I tola him once I would never, never other night and I mentioned how dread- fully sick I get on o boat that I nearly THE ~ WOMAN'S » CORNER © © © In Which Much Will Be Found to Interest HtomesMakers Home Hints. |Carmencita Has a Splendid Beauty Treatment of Her Nut-Cheese Sandwich, With ¢he plenic season coming, & ‘ ; simple sandwich filling may not prove : May Manton's Daily Fashions, Own Which She Explains to Margaret Hubbard: Ayer. ' | i 5 It Hf | +43 fy Hy aes ! ae ef H ittel five or six hours the peste ia weabed Off with warm woter, Novel Way of Using Lemon. Mile. Carmencita believes thoroughly fn lemon juice as a cosmetic, but her way of using It differs from the usual method The lemon, eut in halt, ts turned inside ovt, the Inside 4s taken out, the lemon haying the akin on inside Je filled with beaten yolk of ¢ and js pressed over the slip, the gil of the lemon and the ews cleaning the skin and removing freckles, To Keep Teeth White,