The evening world. Newspaper, May 31, 1905, Page 14

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tork. ‘Company, No, 63 to @ Park Row, New New York as Becond-Ciase Mail Matter, svecvesessesNO. 18,089. | et the Fost-Oftice at A MB. orcrcncererssvccsen s —_—— a © TIME FOR ALDERMANIC SPITE. Aldermen have special need of wise leadership at this moment. wise direction has brought upon them the penalty of the franchise- ‘teoval law. If, in taking steps to test the constitutionality of (measure, they shail put an obstacle in the way of rapid transit ex-| i, they will incur a far beavier weight of public disapproval than | yet filllen upon them, ‘Comptroller Grout proposes in the matter ofthe new subway fran- #5 & course fair and reasonable. He suggests that the plans shall be 4 at once not only by the Board of Estimate, which has power the new act, but by'the Board of Aldermen as well- If the law be boom im the courts no harm will have been done by the double action. “Hf the statute ts overthrown the Aldermen will have exercised thelr pre- ‘Served authority. In any event the vital work of rapid transit extension Gan proceed, ‘wolos should not be that of the Board’s majority, A test case under the Taw can be made readily without the ugly feature of a purely spiteful Snterference with a great public interest. STRETCHING THE LAW. By Just what warrant of law the authorities of Ardsley stretch ropes ‘across the State road to stop automobiles, or by what parallel right Con- necticut constables block the highways with ladders to facilitate arrests, is Mot clear. With automobile drivers who forfeit respect by their defiance ‘of locat ordinances there can be no sympathy. But it is a mistaken zeal which, in the effort to apprehend the occasional culprit, nullifies the Tights of the road belonging to automobilists generally in equal measure me , ‘with the owners of other vehidles. The use of unlawful means for up- by “holding the law is in no way excused by the justice of the end sought. ; Similarly, in the wholesale arrest of unoffending Sunday baseball ‘players, there appears to have been an arbitrary exercise of authority ‘without legal warrant. It is obviously not the intent of the statute, as Ht certainly is not its spirit, that a police dragnet shall be thrown out on ‘Bundays over vacant-lot ball fields, and a horde of boys guilty only of Seeking innocent recreation haled to the station-house, to the needless “congestion of Magistrates’ court-rooms, If the Commissioner's orders were “misunderstood” last Sunday let © them be made sufficiently explicit next time to prevent any possible mis- Interpretation of their meaning. The boy with his bat on his rude vacant Jot “diamond” is not a criminal, and the law is made ridiculous by the assumption that he is, A GLASGOW EXPERT’S INNOCENCE, The simple-minded faith of James Dalrymple, the street railway ex- » pert from Glasgow, in American politicians is really touching. Municipal ‘ Ownership of public utilities should succeed in this country, he says, be- | @ause we have Civil Service, In Glasgow they have not the disease of political corruption, so they do not need the antidote. How can anything ‘Alderman Doufl was quoted yesterday against this arrangement. His | ¢ PSE EF9OOGO6: Strike Up the Band! By J. Campbell Cory. SOOO & we LOEPEDRGEDBTGUH PEPOGSHHSFOOCHOGHOGHHIGOTCHOHOE DOGO OHH OSE GDOHOSHOOEY SS TSOS 8-06 06-2-990O96OO 2D dO30 DOOOO998O69$4669O0OHOHO0599HOOS 9OO0-060098OGHHOSS HOD &0 wrong here when we have “the specific.” To be sure we have. In New York we have a State Civil-Service is Commission and a Municipal Civil-Service Comunission and no end of / laws, tests and examinations, But somehow Tammany refuses to be Cured of the notion of the cohesive power of plunder. Out of deference ‘to Mr. Dalrymple “Charlie” Murphy ought to have turned reformer years ago and “Little Tim” Sullivan to have been Preaching the beauties of non-partisanship from a Citizens’ Union platform. Properly, Civil ; Service ought to have convinced the Consolidated Gas here and the © United Gas in Philadelphia that it is not good form to traffic with Legis- latures and City Councils, If Mr. Dalrymple will stay with us long enough he will observe that no medicine ever works the gang politician any good except a complete Fest—and he never takes that willingly. FOR THE JANITORS’ UPLIFT. ‘ The Janitors’ Society of the City of New York is chiefly of humble caretakers of east-side tenements, an association It has furnished which entitle it to be taken This society looks, according to a member of its Executive Com- mittee, to measures which shall, through education, turn a large number of unskilled laborers inio a body of employees ranking as skilled in their own field, Having got the janitors instructed, it would next have them subject to license, not only for their own protection, but in order to afford a basis for discipline, Of course, better pay for janitors’ work is a thing finally in view. | It fs argued that perils to life and property lurk in the present system riously, shift till something betier offers, There is no inducement for him to increase his efficiency, or even to be reasonably vigilant. The Attorney and Allen street fatal fires are cited as terrible examples of what ma come with things as they are, Among careless janitors the Tenement- House Depariment finds no allies. One may see that the organized janitors are in earnest with their agitation, Perhaps it will be just as well not to dismiss the matter with the sneering comment that it is all “somebody's politi Certainly there are no tenement dwellers on the east side who are not as fully entitled to efficient house service for the rent they pay as any tenants of great apart. ments elsewhere in the city, The People’s -Corner.| Letters from Evening World Readers| Mandojin Vs. Violin, fo the Editor af The Evening World: a if ie a Bre nor was the Naval Acndern: lay his day ny there in ‘The President thinks Jones's midshipmen need tho presence of a cof-| fin ap thelr midst to wry thelr work desently they must be poor ot, Wh nted Fenders day Mt $9 jother disappointed ‘sweeter, the mandolin or the violin?” I wish to say that I can play both in-| stmuments perfectly and can say that tho mandolin {a the sweeter instrument of music, The violin 1s perhaps con- aidered the leading instrument on ac- count of being on the manket the longest. ANDREW B, | ;, Calls Annapolin “Hackward.”’ ‘To the Faitor of The Kvening World: 1) followed «with enthusiasm your) wplenaid campaign for bringing Paul) Wonos's body here for burial. New York's! Waa the Inalionaile right to ther honor, |2#,2WD aafety and that of others : some other great and historic|and to tale Wee’ £0 Bare Thad bad the award given it 1| friends who suppose ove he Ic A Timely Sugwestion, ‘To the Witter of The Rvenine Word: us day people have been drown ‘ailing, Strlot regulations rn forbidding tgnorant pergons f, running autombbdtles © yatlee for many texts for humorists of the weekly press. Really it declares objects under which the tenement caretaker, poorly paid, holds his job as a make-| Ih reply to the question "Which is |My there will inspiro mldshipmen ie) 9 them to do fonday we read that on the| 899008 OO00O8 6 8-9O9-44O00$09O00H5O06-OF oe . The Man Higher Up. « « By Martin Green. SHH,” said The Cigar Store Man, “that the vacation season {is look at the white clouds float across the blue sky, About four houre later 6 open.” he becomes aware thet there is a sawmill under each of his toenails and “That's one bad thing about living in town,” declared The he is informed by a hooting anda unsympathetic ruralite that he has accu- Man Higher Up, “When the vacation season comes you are sup-| mulated a colony of chiggers. posed to spend it in the country. The country people come to town for “How fine it is to hitch up a live invitation to the S. P. 0. A. at a their vacation and enjoy themselves. | country livery stable and drive out along the winding roads, two feet deep “The call of nature reaches every city dweller that has the price of| in dust and arched with cobwebs! Oh, joy, to return to the cool tavern an excursion ticket from the first of June to tho first of October. If he| covered with enough real estate to pay taxes on and stand in line for a is dropsical with wealth he goes tc Europe to be trimmed by the foreigners, | chance at a tin bathtub! Lovely sensation to lave yourself with water so Most of us stay at home and take a native trimming. hard that when you try to rub yourself your hands bounce like a man “The easily accessible places are jammed with big hotels and the hotels| bumping the bumps at Coney Island! Great to adjourn to the village cigar are jammed with peqple who canfine their luncheon expenses to two bite store and discover that unless you have your favorite brand of cigarettes when they are at home and dine out every Saturday night. A man who shipped from New York it ie your cue to smoke a.cigar named after the would put up a holler like a trained geal if his wife or his steady hinted a| Mayor and manufactured in the back room of a harness shop! Blissful to feed at the Waldorf-Astoria during the winter will stand to be soaked be a menu to files by day and mosquitoes by night and eat food cooked by for two or more weeks in the summer time in a country lodging-house and| > graduate from a brickyard! Fine!” in ia write to everybody he knows a ‘con’ about how he is enjoying himselt, | geo ,Mient there any places in the country fit to live In?! asked ‘The Cigar “The closer you get to nature the more enjoyable 1s the experience, It “Sure,"! replied The Man Higher Up,” but they're barred to summer fills @ city dweller with ecstacy to le on the grass in the still woods and| boarders,” BPIDPOEOIDODIDESGHGLDODDHDOSGDDIDEDODE HODOODDD HOPED DOOHGHHPDG HE .OO9490OO99HOOE w The New Pugilist at Home. By Ferdinand G. Long. uw “WHENNE SMALE FOWLES MAKEN MELODIE AND SLEPEN ALLE NICHT WITH OPEN EE—4 (Aw FudGe! ) ® “ YeLepT-(Aw, GwaAn, LLL PUSH IN YER. FACE!) HE GETS A PAIN IN TMB SOLAR PLEXUS. | WHERE \g Me GETS THE SMALL END OF HIS |% TAE FAMILY PURSE. Ss ey ASS ° IF YOU DONT x Ss GET UP BEFORE] .) Shine D A count TEN, RAI ‘ —t Lr CLus Your Ya) have made no complaint, But) sill No guentions aro as 5 Ho. wake. tips on ik Of thone haliowed bones reeting |alde his alls welt are often deny Int a law: be Dusmed that wo one wit annoy show a ventiiierte of prof be allowed to hire or man Yacht, ked i mr hall ‘and s¢e them! Annapolis waa in tbo: Wy Sonnented with Jones's career, Mot 4 erioan in 1,000,00) can afford nows how. to ME “TAKES THE COUNT | A reporter recently called on Kid McCoy, the prize fighter, who Is abavt to be married the fifth time, and found him reading Ghauter, Browning, Tennyson and Longfellow, \A Vitascopic-Stenographic Interview with the Ruse ® |*most of the time, Ah, how we suffered! .| Togo himself has only won twice, | onild, > | adapted for a narrow path.nBoston Rojestvensky Didn’t Do So Badly. ere: sian Admiral That Demonstrates He Won Two Naval Battles Out of Three, Hoorahski! By Roy L. McCardell. YOUR name? A. Admiral Rojestvensky. \ Q, How do you pronounce it? A. With, sneese, Russia {s a cold climate, and all Russian nimos ape pronounced either with a sneeze or a cough. The ruling Romanoff tamily, for instance, has a name that\is ptor nounced with a cough. Q. Why this difference? A. The Romanoffs ale not to be sneezed at, that !s why. \ Q, As an Admiral you have been rather unfortunate? A. I do nos | think s0, Q. Were you not defeated by the Japs under Togo? A. Ah! that was /only one battle. I won two engagements at sea and lost one, Q, You think that a good record? A. Why, even Admiral Nelson's was | no better. vd | Q, What two sea fights did you win? A. I utterly routed a large Eng» | ish fleet in the English Channel and I sank an American ship off the | coast of China. | Q. But wasn’t the fleet you routed tn the Wnglish Channel a lot of unarmed little fishing schooners? A. I did not stop to ask that. I did not know but what It was a fleet of forty steel-clad Japanese battle-ships. Life is only a matter of imagination. In my imagination it was such a fleet. My officers thought the same, We fired a few broadsides and routed them, It was a glorious victory! Q, In your mind? A, Yes, in our minds, Q. It was too bad Togo did not defeat you jn his mind. A, Those are the fortunes of war, Q. And the American ship your fleet sunk? A. Stop! You gloss over my great victory in tho English Channel and dismiss it too lightly. Q. Well, what about sinking those defenseleas fishing vessela? .\. Remember WH DID NOT KNOW THBY WPRE DEFENSELESS, And the English are so proud of their naval prowess, They were English boats in English waters! “Twas glorious nows we sent the Little White | Father! 4 Q. Now tell about sinking the American ship, A. Gir, a sailor does not boast. We saw the ship. In fact, Capt. Ivan Ivanpvitch Skaredto- deathsky had been drinking a quart of vodlita on a wager, and he vowed he saw a dozen ships. But 'tis of little moment. We saw it, we fired. We missed it. We were not discouraged. Wo fired at it all day, Finally my brave Capt, Skaredtodeathsky convelved a brilliant plan, He aimed*away,* from the ship and so struck it with his fourth broadside and it sank, We toasted the {kon of St Vladimir and St. Nicholas that night. It wag glorious work, but very fatiguing, © Q, But Togo? A. Don't mentina his name. He is no gentleman, Hs does not observe the sles of ctvilizel! warfare, He fired on us while Russian gentlemen were having light breakfast of cigarottes and vodka. He is a heathen; there would have been no ‘honor in defeating him, Q. So you are perfectly satisfied? A. Perfectly. We defeated the Eng- Msh and we defeated the Americans, Two countries that boast of thelr Nelsons and their John Paul Joneses and Deweys! este! They were easy for us. ‘; Q. But Togo annihilated your fleet? A. We fought against frightful odds, , ‘We were apent with our two previous victories; besides we had no vodkm and no cigarettes, How can a brave Russian fight without tis minitions? Q. And you are perfectly eattefoa? A. Did we not defeat both English and Yankee? What do we care for Togo's empty honors, He sank our jj ehips, but they were already in a sinking state. He acted in a most brutad manner, But we don’t care! My brave officers and sailors were seasick And then, alas, we ran out of } In spite of this we won twice and only lost once, “| Utterly Routed a Large English } Fleet,” “Capt. Ivan Ivanovitch Saw a Dozen Ships.” yodka and cigarettes! to £ o? Little Willie’s Guide to New York. The Sub-Treasury. ‘© subtreshry {# where tainted cash te taiken to be redeamed when the I Heroin haas toarn the roi of Inderd doller bills to shreds and has ast them at the villen's hed she gathers up the peeces after he js goan an@ carrys them to the subtreshry and kashes them in fer good munny If it wussens for the subtreshry people wood thluk twice befoar thay lost thare tempers and toar up good mykrobbic munny. at the sibtreshry thare is @ bunde! of bills an@ when rubberneling visitors go thare from bauston or from pompton n. J, the Klerk hands them that roll of billa and says Now yout oan tell the other reohs hoame that youve held u milyun dollers In your hand but when poppa took thare I dug my nate into that fat bundel befoar thay could take it bak and uns Jess Iam mutch misstaayken it seamed to be stuft with green wigarette ‘coopone and breakfast food. the subtreshry Is convoneyently sichuated between aie | 1 ofa and the attty nashni bank on waul street and In front of It a figger of jorge i washenton has bin riggod up to serv as skairkro to shoo away anny of thoame finanseers who mite try to underkappitalize tho subtreshry or watter its thurety, stok, good oald subtresiry. A. P. TERHUNB. | ce oy JP er The Laughoscope " ‘A deacon asked @ little girl why her father was not present at services one Sunday. ‘He went to the woods," sald the ury deficit instead of the grocery bill? Philadelphia Ledge Citi . "T see that a prominent statiadolag says that considerably more than one halt of the world's population ts femie nine." "I don't belleve tt, I¢ that were 6a how would we account for the fact thet ‘one-half the world doesn't know how the other half lives?’ "-Philadelphie | Ledger, A ’ a | Andersen’s Precaution, | CRITIC writes of Hans Christies Andersen: “His vanity was per= thaps tis most salient characterd tate, Ho photographed scores of times in every position and ooat and he never wearled of new present menta of Mn strong but unhan features, His whims wero legion, had a morbid horror of belng allye and always sot a slip of paper by his bedglde bearing the word: ‘Sow sidndod’ (iam ina trance), Eis often found him an exacting guest, but “Ltttle girl," @aid the deacon, "I am afraid that your papa does not fear “Yes, he does, 1 guess, because he took his @hotgun with him,"—Grai (Mo.) Indfcator, % eo. Howes—Deacen Slims prides himself upon being in the straight and narrow way, i Barnes—tte certainty 1s to be congra' wlated upon having a soul admirably eed Transcript. “Does that new teamster eult you?” said one Chicago merchant, "Not quite,’ answered the other. "He 1s a good driver, but a poor shot." --Phladelpnla Press. oo. “Your husband han a wonderful In- ject, anyhow,” #aid the soothing re- Who Insist on wortying about the team his little failings were easily pard or ‘th of bis en," anawered the woman who tell Jus and his i.

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