The evening world. Newspaper, January 9, 1905, Page 10

Man H M @ke the Police- an's Life a Bed Roses. SEB,” said The Clgar Store Man, “that there aro 2,209 pollcemen on snap details, “You never hear any from them,” remarked The ) Higher Up. “They nover run nd to Headquarters and pro- a holler; they simply hang to ir nive little jobs, take their Sun- ays off in winter and their Satur- we and Sundays off in summer aw down their bit the first of y month, i of which ought to give Com- miseio McAdoo a line on how to ymake the police force contented and Sippy. Make every detail a snap Abolish the patrol system away with night work id not till then, will the of New York be con- My fs to make a polico- ia’6 office hours from 9 A, M. to 6 ublighed by the Press Publishing Company, No, 63 to 68 Park Row, New York, + Entered at the Post-Oflice at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter. (ATLL Sad Le cee RTE RA IG I »e»- BY Martin Green.... ww McAdoo Might Wee, igher Up. ¥ up billiard tables and buffets and transform the greon-light stations into clubs. “Put up complaint boxes on every corner for the use of citizens and haye the complaints of robberies, murders, misdemeanors and other violations collected by Chinese ser- vants every day just before the opening of the precinct clubs, While the fellows are drinking their morning’s mornings they can lool over thelr mail, read the complaints and throw dice to see which of them shall be attended to, “Telephones should be installed In all pollcemen’s houses at the ex~ pense of the city in order that they can pass the word around if any- thing should happen to be doing at night. To ask policemen to walk beats at night is cruelty, Nearly everybody is asleep at night, any- how. If the Commissioner will only adopt all these suggestions he will have an army of devoted admirers in the Police Department.” “Yes,” agreed The Cigar Store Man, doubtfully, “but if you do any more for the police force there won't be any living in the same town with them,” “Then,” announced The Man Higher Up, “the people will have to [) with an hour for Tunch, Put In all the station-houses, set 4 RS. LILLIE DEVEREUX BLAKE de- Hlared before’ tho Meeting of the Leg- jslative League last week that Eve did hot eat the applé or hat, if she did, it was a quince, At about the same ime Prof. A, 2 riiMathews, professor Spt Physiological SekeySmig Chemistry in thy PA University of. ok tn i ineing that there {s ni ing as the ‘Divine creation of Gldentally declared the stony. Eve to b# entirely mythical ie week, thereforé, woman d the apple theory and theory. And, therefore, vorite charge against our poor oth may be considered dis- Nv Jack of evidence, si it , no apples in the region inden of Eden is sunposed ‘be n located, as Mrs, Blake fe naturally did not eat one, “there was no Eve, as Prof, tains, the apples, it there it have withered on the a ‘At Is to be hoped al b)was not a quince; for quinces, H the form. of preserves, aro to eat, and it Is not re- historian that our frst iny preserves from tho ledge, ij fact alone would seem to vthe guinee’ theory, since \proverblally good for noth- possibly in solution for am, Eve, and the Quince By Nixola Greeley-Smith. move,” and every other poet and artist that have sung or painted our first parents Are unanimous in declaring that Eve had naturally curly halr,. Being mere men and liable to easy deception in | such Iittle matters, their Imony on this point ought not, penha to be considered final. But still, no evidence has ever ariven to contravert {t, {Let us, therefore, dismiss the quinco ae even though it have an advocate able as) “Blake, Rut ine fae oonelder the jgraver change of Prof, Mathews. Was ‘there no Adam and Hye? , On this point I | may be sal briefly that even though ‘Adam and Ive nover lived, they, will) ¢ ont assuredly never die, Tt they didn’t it, ewerhave \euecesstully invent cm, aid’ thie’ stamp of the ages 1 the world can take our first mother and fauier away from us, pabricidal jnptingts, who, dedicated to the pursult of pedigrees, object to the oxlatence of Adam and Eve because all nedigrees must end there, ani to the treo of knowledge becatise no family tree can grow any higher than {ts top- most branch, Bot Most devoted sons and daughter Adium and Eve, and not all the phy! logical chemiatry In the World can tran: form this personal devotion into a cold, Impersonal interest in the artifci origin of Ife. At tho story of our first parents is not true, It ought to be,, Why, Adam's on romark of ‘he woman that Thou gav- est mo tempted me and I did eat" 5 prompt, 9 Inevitable, so characteristic of his race, fs alone worth the price of Adinission, Kor whather it was an apple Or 4 quince, the fact that Adam made a) wry face ufter he had eaten It would ot) the hair in curl, And Milton ve racing weather fills me th the joy’of livir said Amateur Philosopher . ca- ‘in Harlem, do you?” asked lst dryly. “If you did I think i it have all of that joy- crushed out of you. Me ya Join the atrap-hangers’ to, cure ig yourself of the exuber- ‘hanging’ onto’ a strap now ng and evening for the past till! my arms have almost ‘an upright position, @n’ old story,” said the jopopher; ‘but why don't ne on the Subway? The ‘To ififteen minutes’ cry ought ta of the ‘L’ habit, ered the Possimist, “To fifteen minutes. Now, what foes any ono want to get to in fifteen minutes for? I'm In ery, If {t's to get away from Har- vfitteen minutes I could see the d enough to have to get to ‘all, without doing it in fifteen Any way, once a member of p-hangers’ union always a mem. tried the subway expresses, “Who told you that I was Hicay ‘wife. mb, ead ly wife; ho aaid that Dbotwood! at prove the story. he Pessimist’s Growl: | By Alice Rohe, ; And it's all the same, Samo old story of being twisted into bow-knots and Ketting curvature of the spine that you Get on the ‘L,’ 4 “And it’s all\the fault of the women, | { too,” : “Well,” said the Amateur Philosopher, reprovingly, "I can't see how you are! going to blame that on the women.” “Why not? We wouldn't have to stand up If it wasn’t for the women, “Why can't they go home when th ought to, Instead of waiting to fileh am rightly earned seats at night?" “Well)!’ aid the Philosopher, "I never noticek many men hurting themselves giving thelr seats up to women. The poor, frail creatures can be jerked back and forth and almost torn into shreds, and men will sit there buried in their newspapers, entirely oblivious of the fact that there is a suffering woman being tortured Jn the aisle, In my mind| ‘ the worst kind of a hog In the world {8 a brute who will pop Into a seat that! has Leen just vacated when, there is a! % Woman standing, No, you mustn't gay & word against women, They suffer enough,” "You make me tired!” Snapped the Pessimist. “I tell you, it's all women's fault our lives are made burdens when we want to get home at night, And don't put me in the class who take women’s seats away from them, Woman is the cause of my being a strap-hanger, “I'm not a New Yorker and I never let a woman stand when I can make a martyy of myself, but did I ever get a| ‘ bit of thanks? Not on your life, It's grand, isn't It, to get nicely settled with your paper and then aclenc: hay your s pt the courtesy as a matter of I've given up my seat Just six times @ week for the last ten years, and I have yet to experience the first sensa- tion uf belng thanked." “Well, you can complain all you Ike and you won't be able to regulate the tanwportation "gald the Philoso- pher grand|, what are you going to dio about it? “There's only one thing to be done, and that 1 to pass an ordinance keop: ing women off of the cars between 5 and 7 at night, ’ "Then maybe we men can take that Dn 4 ride to Harlem with = nap AE with a lass de- ) The Evening w the patent. Not all the professors in! ‘Tero are, to be sure, base persons of | 6 h this one exception we are all | 2 orla’s Wome Mageriné> Mond Ihe LyenIne WorLD will print here every day az Editorial on some important poprlar Need Abolish the Janissaries! ISTORY, modified by civilization and circumstances, continu- For five hundred years the Turkish military corps of Janissaries was the pride of the .Ottoman Empire, but with the increase in their military importance they became in time a menace to the State, and in 1826 the State ally repeats itself. destroyed them to the last man, He is needed now. “ x Letters from the People \e Se Tuesday, London In Largest City, To the Editor of ‘he Eventng World: 1s Greater New York or London the largest city in the world? What Js the population of each? 2 World 1» 1880, fall? PEACE - PEACE” VISIONS She You HAVENT GoT ANY RUBBER BOOTS f DOWN IN THE PA- LOOK AT PEACEFUL VALLEY BA KICKUMS’ NEW Boors! CANT. Government and municipal employees in this country are get- ting into the position where, by combination, they attain political influence and defy discipline, while by co-operation they raise large sums to buy privileges and higher salaries, menace to the public welfare as any sword that was ever drawn. President Roosevelt has met it firmly in the case of the organ. ized letter carriers, and Commissioner McAdoo is fast reaching a point in his relations with the secretly organized police force in New York where he will have to use drastic measures or retire, Taking heed of the skill with which in the past combines of bi-partisan commissioners, captains, inspectors, wardmen and roundsmen have operated, the patrolmen have banded themselves together to defy the rules, buy themselves better salaries and easier hours, with such success that discipline is near its end and the authority of superior officers has become a mockery. There will be graft, scandal and corruption so long as this.sort of an organization is permitted to exist in any part of the service. The police are a military body and should have honor, courage and honesty. They still have courage, but the other qualities are fast fading away in the force. When will the man appear strong enough and bold enongh to end this state of things and make the ‘‘finest’’ worthy of the name? He cannot come too soon. never be permitted to become their masters and oppressors, The servants of the people should 000944409490 9O9-9O0O9OSOOHD This is as much of a GO WAY, | DONT BOTHER Aw- GO GET A DOZEN, YOU LITTLE NUISANCE!!! r New York's (census of The population of! examination? Ml, is Greater Lond and clty police districts) in 190L was 6,- Grea JB A al twen mot necessary jfor “two, West Point Militar: To the Editor of The k At what age mi Academy, World ididates for A, 8. A, says that admittnnoe, World Almanac for any further Infor. magion concerning West Point, Weak Petal tanks ts lMAlon?! to Would Welgh More, 1 est Point take the examination To the Kditor of The Hvening Worlds London's population (census of 1901) is" it necessary for a young man to have a college education before taking the; aeal ARTHUR M (ineluding metropolitan! Applicant must be between seventeen | A college education {s fhe if & man ate @ hearty in enema A I eT Ree NR ET Ore OMT Tt a neem, em’ Wat he would weigh the same a3 he did before he ate it. B, says Wat de would weigh move than he did after he ate it, Vicase decide, G, Py No, to the Bdltor of Tha Evening World: Is there a jaw or provision in the Con- athiution pros @ man trom rune ® |eide a pocket harbor, perched on round ®|Trade company, For a background to » |latter dress 1s worn on the first public Home Edu iy SAW that Mra, Coflor this after> [vm sald the professor's wife, placing some emphasis on “that,” "and I kind of suggested what I thought of her trying to got Bridget away from us by offering her $3 a month more than we are giving her, Of course she dented it, but she's a wicked story teller." “I should like to haye been there,” sald the professor, laying down his "Uses of Minor Axes," ‘and heard you ‘kind of suggest.’ It probably was not as kind ag It might have been, But I like your reference to Mrs, Coller as & story teller. You mean that you think she Is a liar?” “Of course,’ sald the professor's wife, promptly, "Have you @ more scientific name for it?! “Yes,” sald the professor, "I might state it mathematically and say that Mrs, Cofler was guilty of hyperbola In 40 fur as she exaggerated her gullliess- ness of falsehood,” "I’m quite sure she was guilty of hyperbola if hyperbola is deceitful and sneaking,’ said the professor's wife. “Not that I know what hyperbola Is.” “You're not onto {ts curves, that [s," said the professor, “Charles!” expustulated the profes- sor’s wife, “Not at all,'" sald the professor, "I mean it Hterally, That is what a hy- perbola is—a curve,'* “Any different from an ordinary curve?” asked the professor's wife. {s," replied the professor; “but I pre+ sume you refer to the partial clreum- ference of a circle, A hyperbola is dif- ferent from that. I wonder if I can show you. Let ma ace—ah, I have it, Lot \e have some lve cream," “How ridiculous you are this evening, Charles," sald the professor's wife; “what has tce cream to do with a hyperbola?” “Much, in this case," said the pro- fessor, “for I feel that I would Iike some myself, and at the Ice cream palace near by they serve It, if I re- momber rightly, in the form of small cones, I need those cones for demon- stration, Come, send out Bridget for some—three kinds, mind." “Now," sald the professor, when the {ce-cream was brought In on threo plates, “here we have a vanilla, a the) “That depends what an ordinary curve | cation. 2 se A Regarding Conic Sections, weather being suitable, frult knife and on one side of the va« nila cone I make a out straight down, Perpendicular to the plate. Observe the side of the cone left, That curve you see Is a hyperbola, It ts a wonders ful curve, which finally joins to complete the clrole, the hyperbolic curve never meets from Itself the longer it Is continued, You can understand how that Is by seeing that the cone, If continued downward, must have a larger bage,’’ “Very pretty," sald the professor's, wife. spoiling the hyperbola with hee spoon, “What aro you golng to do with the other Ice-cream?" “T now take the strawberry cone” sali the professor, ‘and make @ alight« ly different cut with the knife, Instead of cutting straight down, I do so eide~ ways, still keeping on the side, but the cut 1s made parallel with the slope on the opposite side of the cone, The curve now scen is called a parabola, and the ends of this curve also never meet, It differs, however, from fhe ‘hyperbola In a good many ways which I can't go Into now—though its my turn for It to go Into me,” “And the chocolate?” asked the prto- fessor's wife, also helping herself to the now shapeless parabola, “The chocolate cone,” sald thé profes sor, “will yleld us the third curve. % simply lop off the top—not horizontally, for that would glve us a circle, but slightly downward, We thus get an ele lpse. These three curves, the hypers ‘ola, the parabola and the ellipse we call conte sections, becayee they are sections of a cone, Now" “Don't you want some more paraby ola?’ Inquired the professor's wife, “My favorite is va—I mean hyperbola,’* sald the professor, helping himself to spoonful of it, “Isn't this what is called the higher mathematics?” asked the professor’a wife, "Yes," sald the professor, sampling some of ‘the chocolate ellipse, ‘but you see that we can lower M very easily,” “I think conic sections are as sweet as they can be," sald the professoye wife when the three cones had disap> peared, "I always thought they were so dry," “So they are,” sald the professor, ree suming fis ‘Uses of Minor Axes,"? strawberry and a. chocolate cone, and conveniently rigid ones, at that, tho sidered \to have the grandest scenery of any coast in the world by Roger Pollock, who writes of a jour- ney thither as follows: ‘The sunny arc- tic day, which lasts for months, a sky all flaming glory, the fretted spires of the Alps flanked with stupendous cliffs und based on the restful levels of the | sea, cities of crowded bergs, compound of dasgling Ight and ractant color— such scenery as that blots out one’s former memories. Our first port of call was Jakobshayn, at the head of Disco strait, biggest of tho northern villages, a metropolis of nine white people and 400 natives, Be- Gasend west coast !s con- shoulders of the naked granite, ure the bulldings, all tarred black, of the Royal the dismal scene rise higher rocks, lil- tered with garbage and turf huts, the homes of the natives, At heart the place js gay, for our soldiers went ashore every night to dance with the Eekimo girls, while the officers of ship An Italian | None of the churches on Baxter I street, in the centre of the down- town Itallan colony, the marriage record reaches the startling proportion of from twenty to thirty a day, and) more on Sunday during, the early spring | months, The summer Js comparatively marrlageless, but during the winter tho recoFd reaches {ts zenith again, For three successive Sunjays the) banns are given from the pulpit, and by this means the entire colony keeps tabs on the brides, says Leslie's Weekly, The Jtalian girl has a much caster time with her trousseau than has her) American sister, for ft Is the duty of the }tallan bridegroom to furnish hoth the wedding dress and the going-away gown, Ag the conventional honeymoon ind golng-away cusiom has not yet come in style with the Itallans, the appearance of the bride after the wed- Ging, ‘The only other piace on the Amer- jean conUuent where the bridegroom furnlakes the wedding outfit 1s among the Zuni Indlans, where the man weayus {t, The wedding drevs of the Itallan bride is almost invariably of white satin or eflk, the quality and number of yards used being regulated by the financial state of the bridegroom, Orange blus- voms ef Wax are always In. evidence, ind the bride carries a bouquet of fresh white flowers, In addition to the wed- “for 1 feel the necessity of a glass of {ce water,” D Day Six Months Long, and. colony swapped dinner parties, breakfasts and luncheons all through ® nine days’ festival. “Men and women alike,” the writer continues, “were Ingulsts, well read, accomplished, a little too polite for comfort, Ilving a metropolitan life on one batch of Igtters a year in an arctio outpost, Expecting tho pathos of ‘ banishment, I found the gayety In per- fect content, The Danes of all the ast+ tlements were alike in social charm, gentle and polished—arrant gossips, too; ‘and the indoor life had little to remind one of the outdoor wilderness, The In- nuit servant maids wore the furry breeches, boots to the hip, and curious topknot of their national dress—one had to fall’ promisouously in love with all of thein, “Even the Danish men wore native dress, but there was one Important dise tinctlon—they washed! ‘The food, apart from Danish groceries, was seal meat, fish, reindeer, venison, shellfish, ptare migan, sea birds and their eggs, which, as served in Greenland, are always pro nounced In flavor," Wedding. cing gown It 1s incumbent upon the Tlallan bri.iegroom who wishes to do the correct thing to bestow upon the bride certain jewelry, Aside from the regula tion ring she generally receives a watch and chain, a brooch and a palr of ears rings, ‘The ceremony over, carriages convey the party from the church to the house en pall where the celebration is to be eld What Monogram? To dveipher this monogram turn, twigs and fold it as you please, Folding tt four thmés will reveal a woman's name, Why Clams Do Not Sing! (Copyrot, 1905, Rianet Pub, Co.) ff ‘RSI AN RUA TE ERS SN WE will answer you, oh, sympathe The clam does not sing because it You marvel at this? But there are Do not think because a clam has BI Neither should you marvel because If it cannot sing IT CAN SIGHI And, oh! The worldof meaning | HEADED FOR THE CHOWDER POT! NOT OFTEN, 16 ping, being elected, and pervlay ite President of the tines as he A music lover writes to know WHY CLAMS DO NOT SING! Ah! Always the sweetly sympa: thetic artistic temperament seeking for melody, forever longing to hear the world in SONG! {1c soul! HAS NO VOICE! a] OTHER MARVELS about a clam! ROTH that it isa BROTH OF A BOY! the clam cannot sing! n a VOICELESS SIGH! We believe the clam sighs because it Is sad, possibly because (¢ ty Yet the risk Is slight. How often do we find clams In CHOWDER? Indeed quite SELDOM! WHY SHOULD THE CLAM WQRRY? T take the: Unlike a> circular ourve, ~ but stretches out further and further , Lage