The evening world. Newspaper, December 21, 1904, Page 14

lt I thin bm 2m eis th enn, A. ll in thie Mh ht as 3B LLPDIDED IDR BEYER NDORGD DEED EY OEDTE LEED DE DTORET TD ED HORE YIEEDEDEDED ES F4GDGIDTGOHE EDIE TIE D1400-04-0-0 14.094 0000400000000000 CG ‘ Writing Reaches the Butcher Business, # # # wf TO LOOIE DINGLEBLOTZ LOOK! us LOOIE DINGLEBLOTZ YOU ISS A LIAR! ror vy You CALL ME NAMES DER NOOS-PAPERS IN 2? FOR VY? VOT? because you iss A CHIGGEN SDEALER! TOMORROW 1 VILL CALL YOUR SHOB IN UNDT MAKE You INTO A HAM. BURGER STEAK! VOT? acu: GO CHASE MEINSELLUF! TANS DONNERWETTER VPrVs $4.04 VOT | NEGST ‘IR! xe IGES 18S ‘T! vor? EST POY . DAY | DANCE LOOGING. BAH! ‘BLOTZ. # Other Frenzied Letters, # at! BY T. E, POWERS, Gnono- 2 oO we 5% AWHILE \C-~B-9-O-3+9-D-O<W-S+S-B-D-3-DD B-O-D-B }-6-D. @-3-3-@.SD-S-H3-@ HS-3-OD SOD BY MARTIN GRIEN. How the Beauty Sciiools Have Patched Up the: Mother. in-Law SEE," said The Cigar Store Man, “tliat two men 6s in Missourt eloped with thelr mothurs-in-law,” “They must have been Democrats,” com- mented The Man Higher Up. “Since Roose- velt carried Missour! a Democrat {11 the show- me State !s like a man in a closed shop without a union card. Maybe these Missourians wanted to get out of the community and took their mothers-in-law with them to lighten the blow, “It is very likely that the elopements wer due to a desire on the part of the male elopers to get rid of their wives, A wife who takes her mother to live with her handicaps herself from the start. If her female parent is disposed to be bossy, the husband is all in. ‘"he aver age man {s willing to take orders from one feriiale; but wien it comes to standing around at the will of two ho is disposed to sidestep, “In thése days, when women learn how to be! beautt- ful from a correspondence school, the mother-{.1-law ts no longer the hatchet-faced, muscular dish-thrower of ; the comic-supplement brand, Often she has her daugh- ' ter skinned a mile on looks, and when {t cc 9 to expe- rience she puts her offspring on the useful plate of a hitc.ing-post In a garage. In running a home sh: {s the mistress of points of play that appeal to a man who js careful of his own comfort. “An Imnressionable young husband, geeing that hig | mother-in-law Is really the boss of the machinery, need create no surprise by concluding that he might as well | make her the real captain of the works. Abor' 60 per cent, of the men who marry find out that they are bum choosers before the ink on the marriage certificate ig dry, anyhow,” “T can't see any excuse for a man running away with his mother-in-law,” persisted The Cigar Store Man, “Well,” remarked The Man Higher Up, “if any body reproaches him he can say that it was all in the fam fly.” <OXOXD OSD OHS © DI Poet’s Craze for Idols, Gabriele D'Annunzio, the famous Italian poet and a pvel- ist, has a craze for Idols. In his villa at SettiguanoyInear Florence, he has a large room full of there “divinities,” i host. ly Indian, Chinese and Japanese. He pays any tair eur) for {0 FLO“ YOODOOOGS 5H POBG GBD. GOETH F-4-D.OHO-H5-.H.S-0-B.H6 >En@ > ANY PERSON WHO pret utd REFUSE K \ ‘' ELEVATOR A A 6 a good specimen of his favorite gods. He is so much ag Uns of een FAR AS % ‘any one belng admitted into his sanctuary when he {9 away .t @ that before leaving the villa he always gives strict or Hers aROU CH! ANo ® to his servants not to allow anybody in under any pret inse VOVLD STEAL A < | whatever. DOOR MAT $ ME HE ins A Nicknamed Nobleman, THe Boy ‘ The late Str William Harcourt, Hke many other partiae mentary celebrities, was honored in political cireles {y} @ varlety of nicknames which often expressed in themsisl{es jo feelings with which he was alternately regarded, dine FTO DSGDYSD of these cognomens was “the Heavy Father," another Mas “the Giant Blunderbore,”’ and it ts on record that the wate | Mr. W. 8 Caine at the time he was a Unionist-Lit teral actually dubbed him "“Pumblechook,” “Historicus” was whis own chosen Iterary nom de plume. Saas _ The “Fudge” Idioforial, | Gums Better Than sink wo Bal Dorp, Staten Is!- Teeth, Copyrot, 1904, by the Planet Pub. Co, ff and, has writh ma pathetic letter’ to _ THE FUDGE'S Christmas Tree editor asking a little cha ity. She wants to have A SET OF FALSE TEETH susper ided for her on our Christmas Tree, The pathetic pleas of the poor ALWAYS move ulm ; little further away, We would LIKE to oblige this woman, | We would Ilke to have our Christmas Tree COVEL ED » | with false teeth, e But we CANNOT, We have SO MANY OTIIER @ FALSE THINGS to take care of that the TREE wil} te 2 | OVERCROWDED, ny. F Yet we will give this poor woman a WORD \OP & COMFORT. PrPOOOO-S PD Ore F-OxS-O~8 FOTOS GE ODOD, @- a Pre y _ |} She doesnot NEED falee teeth! GUMS / RE BETTIERI Uy Nes i, & " 4 | With gums in the mouth you do not HAVE TO CHIEW! _— M4 Sly v 13 Gladstone insisted that every mouthful mast be ch ewe wi eli ~ 3 ed 28 times! emarked to a Puma, A Gnu who was new to the Zoo Prise Mei Pico prehuyrs Rabo lewe >| FIGURE THIS UP! It means at least 7,007,832,78 limit game art In huma?” Remarked: “I know lote of things, too.” Asked a Youth of the Man with the Hoe, 077 jo of the Jaw Ina Wotton be the Puma In rage! He stopped at the word, He replied: wo nto here p- patel 4 1 back to the cage! And no one ere heard Blamed beast |e a deer; can get my mazuma.” How much more the Zoo’s new Gnu knew. You s00, | am hoeing my Ree.” NO, good woman! YOU SHALL NOT have the ted it ’ . ‘ ‘ ' if vittlest > Ae Mee el eee |