The evening world. Newspaper, November 8, 1904, Page 10

_——.') ee eX Alas! Alas! The Poor Fat Lady! By Nixola Greeley-Smith of adipose tis | sue there can- not, of course, 0 two opin- ons, To be sure, & small and therefore giigible class composed of artists, poets and {dle dream- ers may prate of the superior loveliness briefly summa- daed by Mr Kipling as @ rag, a bone and @ hank of hair, | But the great majority of us will go | on believing in the beauty of mere bulk, | and all the rhapsodizing of foolish Ideal- VOTING FOR PRESIDENT. | ists will not shake us from thts opinion, Whittier’s poetical contparison of election ballots to Women particularly are very generally gnowfakes “lightly falling” to register tl freeman’s | creditlous of the charm of siendern: and there is hardly a two-hundred- ‘will needs correction to conform to the prosale fact Of dor alive who does not in her heart the bulky blanket ballot, It appears that the 2,000,000, believe that the sculptor’s vision and ballots prepared for use in New York to-day weigh 600, the poet's dream have found in her| tons, the printing of which has kept six presses busy | Miele moet Complete expression fand required the manual labor of one hundred men and, M! {oF flesh foods and physical girls, Computations of the aggregate welght of the made over into the herole mould. And allots provided to register the will of the 15,000,000 and 1t behooves those of us wo bereft to re-| More freemen of the entire nation suggest the devasta- sg wit manok eanaelalion ee wey | $ @, on the inconveniences of the adipose tion of large hapeel sips and rey rn spel tiesue that is denied us, ‘Whole groves of spruce trees. bi 0 | Slenderness in the first place ts In- Cleveland campaign the official ballot was @ naTrowW conspicuous, A slender woman may ‘strip of filmsy paper of the general width and length | walk in Twenty-third street, or even | What has always seemed to n’® a still (Ota railway pores vet einclien si for tho | frequented haunt of the mashes ‘The election inery ays neceseary | the whol district of lower Broad- Operation of @ national election impresses by its Very way, and escape wilhout comment of _ Yastness. More than 70,000 polling-places are open to- any kind, an exemption far more to be @ay, at which an army of nearly a million election clerks ‘desired than any of the quasi-compll- fund officers, party representatives and policemen are on Lance psd ee the boauty of more oportions. duty, expense entailed on the States for rent, the) iuther advantage which she pos | m of voting booths, the hire of clerks, the sesses is that of being far more likely by the Press Publishing Company, No. & to @) Row, New York, Entered at the Post-Oftice ‘at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter, ME 4B. , 000 seerees the ab- Nixola Greeley-Smith, DISSE BLESS SS SESSIE SS GS6S-S4HFG8 SESS Ore | y “pony” / printer's biti and the minor legitimate expenditure in- | to be made room for in a crowded car. volved in an electoral contest has grown to large pro- THe very man who, glancing casually a | woman welghing 19 pounds and makes Tn the first four national elections no discrimination jroom for her may not give her another ‘was made in the voting for President and Vice-Presi-| ‘thought. And bis mind and hiv glances | hanging to a strap above hit, But he | | electoral votes, gained the Presidency, while his rival, | won't move up even though wih the) Thomas Jefferson, with 68, became Vice-President. supreme assurance of the atreet car Four years later their positions were reversed, Jefferson paper, ., Dresemakers will all admit that a | Popular vote increased from 352,572 in 1824 to 13,959,657 giende- woman is much easier to ft. fm 1900, The most notable majority in the electoral @dllege was achieved by Monroe in 1820. He recetved | !s apt to look far better in their choicest creations, And It In said of one of the most prominent stage managers tn the ~~ SLOT MACHINES IN THE SUBWAY. jicatricat ingonue begins to uke on Following the appearance of advertisements in the| flesh, she is doomed in bis eyes and Subway comes the penny-in-the-slot machine with its| tat his one deckled idea about young , ; ; | Wants something atraight up and down, tw the exploitation of the Subway on Coney Island Mines | Considering the general partiality tor to go? It has been suggested that the flashing effect of | all-too-sond flesh it is remarkable what Of Kinetoscope views, Certainly the possibilities of Its rests Ra dl dl veges dy have a vs 0 a thore to be mura whe ‘utilization for vaudeville features of the “Midway” and) (nthe midat of “b wig But do not the commercial uses already made of the : solid phalanx of 1Mpound knock. ' : * need loveliness carried the spears underground for advertising and catchpenny purposes which tranafiged the elderly New Yorke prise? The Subway was calculated to be and is the Pride of the city. It Is not only the “conquest of en- "4 Ellaas, loving and lovely of yore?" | gineering” which the Mayor called ft, the successful wen = ody or cures but these pe aay are taking in wash. " " | public taste, Khey can no longer din- monuments) work of civic art as well. ‘The diefigure-| ray “instr too adequate proportions i, @alism as amazing as it is deplorable. | Piers tiasad tothe tesnd af popular Are we yet to see the “barker” on duty at the Brook. °Plnion that there are nowadays 4 fow| to convinced that they are too fat and ° wi exer rantic efforts to decrease and fro on the platform? = _ thelr bulk. And herein Hea the inet | woman. For with the di en's aD THE Y. M. C. A. AS IT GROWS, | winivtincs “sive cat be anv sige” sine » By the annual report of the International Committee, 'kes. While for the ta Just issued, it is shown that the Young Men's Christian can give ler the appearance of slender- Associations of North America now number nearly D** she Invarlabiy covets, — 376,000 members. This represents a larger aggregation save Russia, Germany and France, The year's increase BEST JOKES has been almost 26,000. le ‘The growth of the Y. M. (. A. as a body affords OF THE DAY, _o |up from his paper, beholda a little dent. Thus, in 1796 John Adams, having recetved 71/'"4¥ both revert to the tw-pound siren | flirt he may make goo-goo eyes over the being elected President and Adams Vice-President. The than one who Is the least bit stout and 281 votes out of a total of 232. \world's history that the moment a assorted offerings of chewing-gum and candy. How far | @7'¥ comtumos for the stage is that he the white pillars on the vision be avatled of for a series * deKree of ottenuation the chorus “br “Pike” order arc limitless | ballets sigh for the good old days when amount to a desecration of a noble municipal enter) ory heart “Where are these Maryx and Annes achievement of which marks an era of progress, It ts! Ing. For, strange metamorphosis in tent to which jt is being subjected !s a form of van- Anything but road companies of refined lyn Bridge station and the sandwich man walking to convinced that they wae no are really | supreme advantage of the slender not all the straight fronts in the w than the army on a peace footing of any great power SOME OF THE something broader than a merely religious Interest Conducted on non-sectarian lines and with an incread Sngly liberal regard for the social and general ameni- thes of life, the organization has acquired more and more of the featurcs of a wholesome and universal club, {te Ubraries arc finely supplied, its educational depart- ments are excellent, Its gymnasiums with their 127,000 etudents of physical culture are promoting good work for the future of the race, Still and properly retaining the title of “Christian,” the associations are neither bigoted nor oppressive in their requirements as to the actual religious practices oft members. They find an abundant becomingness in providing for healthy-minded young men quarters where vod company aid varied opportunities for improves ment may readily be found. THE PAY OF THE DOCTORS, Defending his $4,090 charge for medica! attendance, in case before the Surrogate at White Plains, a New York physician testifies that he makes $80 per day in general ‘Practice. With liberal allowance for holidays, this is in | ehkcess of $25,000 per year, Between such an income and ‘the $750 which is given as the average yearly earning of the 200,000 doctors in the country—an approximate count the difference is striking and guggestive. Was stated recently in a special article that the tion giving a man good standing in the medical On means an expenditure of $4,000 in a reputable of medicine, $1,000 for general expenses during } hospital service, and perhaps another $1,000 up an fice Probably the greater proportion of American have gut through much more cheaply than this retty certain that the “country doctor” of |; and smal! income, exists quite frequently de of the story-tellers’ world. it may be be- staiements of large earnings here and there whole tale of professional core and merit ¥ of phyricians good in responsibility for e are yet poor dividend-earners on | of time and tuition money, 4 BEAT THE MACHINE, He dropped a single cent Into the hungry slot; Four lonely kings showed up, And ten cigara he got “Great luck! ho erled in glee, And right away forgot That previously he had dropped in the slot. 1 Commerelal Tribune. A LONG REST, “Tow long have you been out of work, my good man?” asked the head f the hourehold as he parleyed with the rusty-looking caller, “L was born in ‘8, #r."—Detrolt Free Press, | TRUE CHIVALRY, Sharpe—The Young Women's Poker Club invited you to play with them. Why did vou refusety Whealfon—RBecause IT would never raise my hand against a woman,—Phil adelphla Record AT THE POST, Hicks—-Whatever else may be sald of Boggerley, he's pretty well posted in soclal matters Wicks—I should say #0. He's posted for dobt In every club he belongs to, Philadelphia Ledger BISHOP'S EXAMPLE, Firat Saloonkeeper—Can't tribute somethin’ to ou: 8 tor? First Baloonkeeper—Why, a few 1 us vir woing to try to start a model church. Louisville Courier-Journal PRIDE, “Why did vou tio that walter? an't afford to give away money.” “L know it, but I didn’t want him to | a wv then Free Press, you con: fund, BU? ‘ond Saloonkeeper—What's the fund You » THE w EVENING wt ee EES BS Be ERE Sette 56-599 SSSSO9SESE 0H5-G-5 54-25 F-96-7SSSS5SS-O4 6 Ob edad ry But It setters e ee give ME Two OF Your BEST A~FoR Fives Ir WAS A BRIGHT [DEA——> OBA O-5-BS OHS DSHS I-GS-O9 SOS FF DSSS09- nnn 3 io ’ Fe Fa ® 5 P 4 ‘y- Ive Gor 4 “ PEACH OF : A_LimeRICK ) > Ps i @ « 3 wno OnE OAY| | WAS STANG 5S | BY A Bee -} Q Y WH iT HURT- SHE REPLIED NO IT DIDN TH Nh REDO AO MDO ERED EDD Fed de 2 @ LETTERS, QU The Lett Side. To the Faltor of The Evening orld On which side of the road does & carriage have to drive in London, Eng- land? HB. OW. To Veevent Ratlroad Acoldents, j Pullman cars next to the |express vars and to place hes at the rear end | en wou'd the heavy and Cars stand the first brunt and never, in the case of i ese tie. reaee anh biroaaty | people in the public coaches (numbering, bullt Pulinfan care do not even leave the | %2 Shey dy, at least four to one of those track, and the passengers therein get |'® the Pullman cars) being ground to only ® “shaking up." while between the | PUlP OBSDRVER. | Pullman cars and the opposing engine Wedding Quertes. there ta often a ghastly hetacomb of To the Edltor of The Rvening World: people mutilated beyond recognition in the ordinary coaches. head-on" co nt than “rear-end” collisions, an im-| the best man; or should At a church wedding Is a endian eenely SO Pe ie ome Sa) aoe Ween Pa ae ‘The righthand horse i galled. the | same and bedded dd > OE: collision, would we hear of the helpless the bridegroom to march In with the ions are more {re- | bridesmaid and the bride escorted by WORLD'S HOME w Didn’t Work. By T. EB. Powers. G0 AS FAR AS You Like WITH THEGAS, TONIGHT! a 9 ® J papal’. A MAN OUT HERE CALLED us BRATS! / PAPA! PAPA! HE CALLED IT To US AGAIN 99904-49006 baggage and altar to receive the bride, who is given the “flimsy” | away by one of her brothers (her fath of the train. | Cannot be present)? ALR safe Pullman | The bridegroom and best man should of the impact | await the bride at the altar. The a “head-on” | walks up the aisle with the relative who is to “give her awa: There No Such To the Editor of The Evening World: Is there any law forbidding the Presi. a and roo! dent of the United States to be elected evening wed 7 | Dress sult, white vest, | for more than two terme in bias yale patent | er 8 - Tegal Ald soctety, 289 Broadway Right-Hand Horse Is “OM” Horse. To the editor of The Rvening World: To the Balter of The Evening World: Whieh is the “off” horse In a team| Is there Fe Morey ot he is It thus called? C, | legal advice those and why ¥ WBERS 2 2 “oft horas, Tho term originated in England, whore the driver sits on the tt side instead of the right. The horse nearest him is thus the left or “nigh” |horse. while the right or ‘off’ horse is farthest away. Evening Dress, To the Editor of The Evening World: his attendant: ding? it proper for the best man PEPDD®IGOVDID DL DOG OGD OD FBO OPS DES HOGI GE DIDS GEA LEGO HE OO * ; g ® $ 3 ® |the new abominations women ® | vou know they tried everything under the sun—they ae eee!’ ete Ss ae MAGAZINE. w PEESHHE OROEOLHO4 119-9449 990 9H 6464444-1004064-66 0088009406001 aoonde $99600-000000000 Br MARTIN GREEN. eee ~ The Final Struggle Is On, But Nothing Awful Seems Imminent. $6 ELL,” said the Cigar Store Man, “it'll be all off in a few hours and we'll know whether the ccuntry is going to ruin with the able assistance of Roosevelt or Parker.” “We're up against an awful finish whichever way it turns out,’ remarked the Man iligher Up. “If Roosevelt wins the trusts are going to cat us alive, It Parker wins the trusts are going to eat us anyhow, but we have half a promise that they will pass around the ether before they begin. Both sides have a cinch, and if we didn’t have a lot of experience the most of us would be beating it for Europe or Mexico, “The free, untrammelled and noble voter goes into the polling place to-day, takes his ballot, and if he’s a strong man, carries {t without assistance to the booth. There with the solemnity of his task sticking to him like maple syrup to'a cold plate he makes his mark oxpressing his desire to vote for Roosevelt or Parker as the case may be. lit he feels real solemn he may vote for Watson or Debs, | “To-morrow morning he waxes up, looks at his paper | and sees that the man he didn’t vote for is elected, Does | be go into the bathroom and (urn on the gas? Does he lock himself in his bedroom and flood his interior with ¢arbolic acid? Not on your natuval. He kicks himself |a couple of times for betting a hat and makes a rush for | the ‘L’ or Subway, depending on which side of town he | lives on, The next and last time he'll think of his sac- | rifeed ballot will be when he gets @ bill for the hat. “It's tou bad that in this great country, with 80,000,000 people, we have to pick out the two worst citizens to run | tor President, Roosevelt is the limit; Parker is also the | limit the other way. It must be nice to live in a quiet monarchy, Where all the people have to do is pay the bills—like we do here—and not worry about elections,” “I gee that snow is predicted for to-day,” said the Cigar Store Man, “Yhere will certainly be a frost for somebody,” an- ewered the Man Higher U $5 for a Limerick. ee > Subway Poets Now Cut Loose and Earn a “V.” Mary Jane’s Papa Has a Blithesome Limerick. at But His Darling Daughter and Kickums Spoil the Recital of It.” END your best limerick on the Subway to “Subway Lim- orick Editor, Evening World, P, 0, Box 184, New York City.” Prize, % ‘ A young chap from Avenue D Thought he'd ride on the Subway free, So he jumped for a train, But the cop's club caused him pain, So he plunked down a bright shining “V." NORMAN L, BRODA, No, 168 East Elghty-second street, S The Subway appears now to fll For New York's taxpayers the bill; And you may as well know » poor man's auto, that no people ‘twill kill, . K., No, 787 Decatur street, Rrooklyn, N. ¥, Sammy Smudge, of the Evening Fudge fame, Painted red a new Subway train, "I know the red ink Will put It on the blink, Who said I hadn't a brain?” JOSEPH WHITE, No, 438 Rroome street, There was a young fellow named Percy, Who look © the Bubway for mercy. To the “I,” crushing throng No more to belong, ow he feels happy and cherchez. PERCY BALLANC No, 1132 Ameterdam avenue, city, The New Plush Woman Looks Like an Arm Chair. “4 By A. Rohe, “ MEN ‘are getting worse every day,” sald the WV resins “What's the matter now?’ querled the Amateur Philosopher. “Matter enough,” growled the Pessimist, “Have you seen have turned themselves Into? ressed \ilke men, stole styles from the dogs in dog collars; they've | done everything from wearing garden truck on their hats to | carrying whole baskets full of fruit on their heads, But now } | what dosyou suppose they're doing?” hat?’ asked the Amateur Philosopher interestedly, y, turning themselves into plush upholstered furnt- screamed the Pess!miat, “T was walking down Broadway to-day when I saw some- thing sail out of a department store that looked just Ifke “What was it? asked the Amateur Philosopher, “What was it? It was a woman, ¢ was rigged up in @ green plush that made her look just like a plece of up- holstered furniture. “T stood there a while, and by and by another woman came out and followed the standard rocker down the atreet, ‘The second creature was broad, and looked like a nice brown plush sofa, I thought if I stood there long enough I'd land @ whole set of parlor furniture.” “Yes, but that plush furniture fs all out of style,” inter- posed the Amateur Philusopher. "go I inferred,” commented the P those women strutting down the ot a good old partor suit on their bac! | “Well, you oughtn't put all the blame on the women,”* gently interposed the Amateur Philosopher. “If you trace the originator of these ridiculous styles you'll find it's @ simist, “when T saw with the coverings 1." growled the Pessimist, “there's only one thing worse than a woman, @nd ¢hat's a man mvlliner or a man dressmaker. 1t may be a man who starts the crasy fashions, but dead sure the fool women will fall for them @ some one puts a Parisian tag on them, “Just as you sald, plush furniture ts out of date; #0 some thrifty upholsteror, with a big toad of old plush on his hands, got hin gray matter Into working order and deliberated on \how to get rid of that superflulty of antediluvian furniture covering. The answer is-woman. “Then the ambitious upholsterer gets Interested in a branch store and calls his old furniture covering ‘crushed velvet’ and crushed plu the latest Parisian novelty, and the women go wild about It, “You can't do anything about it," commented the Amatew Philosopher “{ know,” sald the Possimist, “but t's tough luck, Last night when I went home I found my wife tearing the pluay | the sofa in the back parlor and my mother-in-law was dressed up to look like a red plush armchair trimmed in What dress should the father, the! guimp. s wear at An) «Now I've stood for the upholstering stunts In building up white tie and, the figure, but when it comes to invading the furniture stores for dress hints, and having something that looks like . & plush rocker but is really your wife greet you at night, I think something should be done,” ear uati ne emer eres you shoves eee ‘