The evening world. Newspaper, May 20, 1904, Page 14

sc HAT ta the! |//| \ LIKE You—wik TO GIVE UP) "menaced by the veto of “Butt-In Ben” of Albany Is pose vabised | Roow, SERvice.! 1 con car. \ Fis) DIVIDENOETACIPCR EE - ULATE IN YOUR MORAL : 100,000, As no record 1s kept of the individual pupils, Pad ey Hoes ase COURAGE Rewvou) Possess Me i LOVE OF PUBLIC VIRTUE Are the Grout ““Mines’’ a _ Whose coming is voluntary and irregular, the common attractive masculine TOURS RAV Cee ee ee Play for the Governorship? estimate that 300,000 are reached and benefited by the ee aiea ha came ’ no 4 p - 5 or vacatl been asked a thou- . ” Y Playgrounds, bath-houses, roof-gardens and vacation g bse nuked ar thet: “ SEE,” said the Cigar Store Man, “that Comp= _- stehools is entirely reasonable. Award cin ai tneGs troller Grout is planting mines under Tammany, Measuring cost against accomplishment, this is the sand different ways. Hall.” theapest work the Board of Education does. It costs bee eats ea - “You know what happens to people who plant mines,” the price of a cigar to each citizen; It costs a trifle over eRpothers, courage, (dha) said the Man Higher Up. “Look at Russia and Japan. § dollar for each pupil. noral or physical, They planted mines and reaped explosions. Mr. Grout ithe. ol PHehok i according to the seems to forget that If he had stuck to the Fusion ticket e city of Hoboken has just had an impressive pein severe cent oT NETIC last year he would have been snowed under and ren- Jesson upon the dangers of the street to young children. feta Geaintoe EN RD dered politically inocuous, but he is not violating any “A curfew bell is seriously suggested to keep them off} It seems to me that neither excep- promises to Charles F. Murphy, because Murphy didn’t tfonal mental foree nor marked physi- exact any promises from him. ee 2 2 evetne Cal arength commande pat no much sey ee ee EC a G e ? et’ ane o 0 Te * it how about broad daylight in the streets? No] respect and liking as the combinations Dt tanding® Boek of the two which produces that entire that ingratitude is an invitation for the knife, and Mr. curfew bell in the long hot summer days can keep}eontrot o fmind and body which ts THE w EVENING w WORLD'S 2 HOME # MAGAZINE. # ¢ublished by the Press Publishing Company, No. 53 to 63 Park Row, New York, Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Class Maéil Matter. Leads All the Rest. During January, February, March and April of th's year The Evening World ‘| carried SO87 columns of paid cis- play advertising. | No other New York paper equalled this showing. The increase over The Evening World's own record for the corresponding four months of 1903 was 1270% | ~:— Jack, the Jester, Whose Merry Pranks Are Told in Four Words >< HERE 1S Ree KEEP THE SCHOOLS OPEN. “vised charter grows brighter. While the legal question has been submitted to the Worporation Counsel, the plain intent of the clause Seems to be that bonds may be issued by a unanimous vote of the Board of Estimate. There ought to be no doubt of that unanimous vote. Whatever political and factional differences may exist between the members of the board should be forgotten when they face the grava problem of the Child and the Street. _ The average daily attendance of the Institutions columns—more then twice the gain made by any || { other paper. The prospect that the vacation schools and play- grounds may be saved by the Connoly clause in the re- BONNET, By My TROTH! SPORT FOR | | | FAITH! A PRETTY | | THE MAKING | FORSOOTH IT 1S A SORRY Foo. I BE !. MY FOLLY WET Witt “MAKE AN END OF ME' The Deadly Gift of Gush. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. The Great and Only Mr. Peewee. Mr. Peewee Congratulates the Western Union Directors. Fwite Con THE EVENING FUDG! ber Nalis anal so! You HAVE AT LAST on Gen STENED TO PUBLIC Seno) AND STOPPED YOUR PooL- Uy A FUDGE AND GET A REO SMUDGE | THE EVENING FUDG ~~ Your INDEPENDENT SPIRIT, EXCITES MY EULOGIUM! HO! = Cae IT 1S TO FIND A MAN By Martin Green. Grout In allowing David B, Hill to use him as a political / phildren mewed up in the tenements. ‘There 1s no re- Lgaaleh tlt Hales ae eeracenttt Mrs. Nagg is laying himself up for # stab. | treat for them but the streets. ronseaa thia wreatest of masculine gifts ee we Lie seen Mr, Grout was so sure ee ; BP The dangers to children there so entirely a8 to be protected by it pr when he ran ahead of his ticket the first time he ER nee are physical, mental,| trom any of the sudden misfortunes a was elected with Low that he was in a trance for two “3 Moral. There is the chance of their being crushed by] harsh fate may Infilet. Tt really serves days. When he woke up the Gubernatcrial bee wa: x rs them as @ cout of mall against 1 bad : 4 s 4 me Weme, There is the certainty of relaxation to their the “slings and arrown of Sunes hatched out in his bonnet and it has been buzzing ever ye Winds in long idleness. There is the danger of their| fortune,” which caused the melancholy since. David B. Hill, in absolute control of the last | oe a ZA Prince of Denmark such concern, are Saratoga Convention, might hav i | " wdertaking petty theft and “gang” depredations and] piunted and thrown, spent and harm- 1DIOTORIAL PAGE OF THE EVENING FUDGE h farrea Cot i @ nominated Grout, but { a aying the foundations of serious crime, all out of sheer| !¢s% at thelr feet. The Evenin eee ede TAitice het Beau ran lelecios ay ig There are few men who do not share dently Grout thinks that Senator Hill is going to be | i * gok of something better to do. {t In some dogree. Indeed, they are as Is a Pug Dog Wiser Fud sales fear kinder next fall. : The Jast and almost the greatest undertaking of our| farce in numbers as the women, who, Than a Dill Pickle? Veit ROT ae “The Comptroller got along all right with Tammany /@8* — qchools has been to supply this lack with pleasurable] For the greatest defects of the fem- AGook That Goes Like Chowchow. 8 122 it) pickle i until there was taik of running McClellan for Governor, detivity. a thing sharacter ats fue 2 . coraplete Copyrer, 1904, by the Pranet Pud. Co A so tong as his tall | except that he wouldn’t give a Tammany man a job a lack of poise, and the inevitable ten- isCURLED. Pugs Ever since the McClellan boom has shown signs of bein{ a Sympathetic nature study instead of abusing home-| dency to exaggeration and tnsincenty * ny ti which result from it and which sum- marked by lack of thought, reason and wit, om able to go the route Mr. Grout has been working like ¢ esa dogs and cats, basket making or scroll work or|j;narized, make up the deadly gift of Fudge asks, ‘Can a pickle A pprraarabat it |i] | hired man on piece-work on his fences, but how he ex ft flingti tones at window: srush. does NOT think. a gookery instead o} ging stone: Indows, the)/'h i youlLeven (MnGw) (el maaniceho NO. It Laila ‘ ‘oes mes nice enough: to EAT, but pects to get a Brooklyn and Tammany delegation to thé gymnasium instead of the “snipe,” swimming instead of| "gushed? Ransack your memory. for cannot State Convention is something that will have to be years back and at most you will dis- cover embalmed in contemptuous recol- lection some two or three. Did you ever know @ woman who ald not gush. You can count them on the fingers of one hand, and about these even you were not quite determined as to wheter their marked repose was due to superiority to the women about “ itealing—these are some of the substituted activities with which Gov. Odell sought to interfere by his istounding veto of the bond biil. » If he were to have his way New York would have weither a sufficient water supply nor adequate schools. {ff a unanimous vote in the Board of Estimate is all that famillar with the raillery of JOE MILLER, i | mevuT, did you ever notice the curl tora pug's tall? } This appendage has DIRECT connection with his medulla | oblongata. So long as his tall REMAINS curled the CIR- CUIT fs broken, so to speak, and he 1s UNABLE to think, This difficulty once overcome, Mr. Pug would be H DELUGED with thought. He would be SUPERIOR to the dreamed out with the aid of a layout and a good cooky “Why wouldn't Grout make a good Governor?” asko’ the Cigar Store Man. “You'll have to ask Hugh MeLaughlin about that! answered the Man Higher Up. ee ag "Ig Deeded to disappoint him in the latter particular, “ shere should be no doubt about that vote. Peter McGuinness thought he wished to commit sulcide ‘Ynd jumped trom a ferryboat Into the Hudson, The water was cold. He changed his mind and scrambled out upon a Yugboat cheerfully enough, That 1s why suicide in cold vater is much to be preferred to shooting or polson. Some- dames a man can swim out. PLANKED BABIES. Prof. Starr, of the University of Chicago, says that “qe should adopt the Indian method of strapping our pables to boards. He claims that bables thus planked will never be round-shouldered. This seems a reason- able contention. He also claims that boarded babies ‘don't cry half ‘as much as they do when given more liberty.” This appears to need the procf of experiment, though it does seem likely that if we only strapped tight enough we could grap the cry out of the most tearful infant. In Eny event Prof. Starr's is an interesting theory, and, if all he claims for it is proved, it is to be hoped that before long both the nurseries of the rich and the Sre-escapes of the poor will be sgudded with babies, tigid but smiling in their planked placidity. them or to a state of vegetable torpor which the others had traversed long centuries before. The gushing woman thinks, speaks, moves in superlatives, If you happen to be the person she has met last, you are quite the sweetest she has ever met f It was at your house she ate her last dinner or attended ber last dance, tt was there she had the greatest time of her life, She saw the “dearest” negiigee tn a Twenty-third street window yester- day, and she bought the “sweetest pair of tar shoes.” She “adores” tun shoes— she ‘s golng to wear them “always,” And 80 she chatters on, using and mis- using all the words that have most meaning, and rendering them meaning- Jess, To be sure, as Sir Peter Teazle said of marriage, the crime carries the punishment along with it, For when ut some moment of sincere emotion she Searches her vocabulary for tender phrases, for endearing words, she finds it bankrupt, for has she not used them all in pieturesque description of a new shirtwalst, or If her leaning 1s to things gastronomic rather than sartorial, in enthustastic comment on the appear-! ance of a partl-colored salad or per- haps the fascinating curl of a paper frill on a French chop. HIS ROUTE, I r i | dull pickle, IRONED, Take your dog to the TAILOR and have his tall To-Day’s $5 Prize ‘‘Fudge’’ Idiotorial was written by C. F. Murphy, 223 West 21st Street, New York City. PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for to-day, $1 paid for each: No, 1, D. VAN LIEW, No, 82 East Eighteenth street, New York City; No. 2, KENT B. STILES, No. 5911 Fifteenth avenue, Brooklyn; No. 3, TONY BURKE, No. 347 East Eighty-seventh street, New York City. To-Morrow’s Prize ‘‘Fudge’’ Idiotorial Gook, Some Interesting Questions.’”’ | ' | (Copyright, 1904, by the Press Publish ‘om pany, The New York World.) Mrs. Nagg and Mr.— 8» Roy L. McCardell. Theirs Would Be a Happy Little Home if It Were Not for the Sneering, Capricious Ways of that Man! Why Doesn’t He Appreciate Her Gentle Nature? Fables, Far, Far from Gay. No. 11—The Physical Cujture Fiends HERE was once a man who, though a Prodigal Son himself in the Way of Waste ‘Tissue, doted on seeing the Fatted Calf on other Peoplo's Shins, He hung out a Sign, ‘’femperance ‘leacher Fizatelan."’ From morning to night he Kept Rubbing it in, and he had his “Views on Cereals’ serialized to increase the Ciroula« tlon of the “Bad Blood Buster.” For him every meal waa Oatmeal, every Tenderloin a Red Light of Warning, every, “PI a Greek letter. In the matter of Shoes he was such a Protestant that he would not have bought Indulgence to save his Sole, and he scorned to read “Pilgrim's Progress” just because of a Bunyan, for he maintained that the Extremities should nob be carried to Extremes. His Bachelor Apartments were Honeycombed with Trol< leys for his Triceps, Stcycles for his Biceps and all sorta of Stunts to keep him from getting Stunted. But his favorite Rxercise was doing a Jew-Jitsu, in which he was so good that his Friends declared he was the Dupe-licate of his Master, a: Thus he Kicked and Kept from Waxing Fat till you mibht have struck him by accident for a Match—cxcept for fear of his going off in a feint. But most of all he Admired the Athletic Girl; and at last he confessed his Subjection to the Charms of the lead- ing Strong Woman of a Museum, And now he is an Object Lesson and an Exhibit, where you may see him any Night performing to his Wife's pa of “A Hundred Uppercuts a Minute,” as Advertited outside.) If you ask him about Cereals after the Show his face wi ps assume a Serious expression and he will answer: “H, i “You reckon Brier Jinkins went ter an ¥ ( i + “Huahahy \ I ‘ Nag. © tired of y y chalr you ¢ ew aut awful game of chess, aude, Why didn allo} ¢ ——- Z eee te eaeins eee Bromreet Xe Sheiqueation suit] | "Lerma eee, Iow high la de mule home, you are tired of me, al-| two of the wildest men about town.| “Why cun't we have a cheerful game |Pyciuse I didn't choose to. 0 , remains: y was eld up? kick him?"—Atianta Constitution. though T have been a good and gentle! “And then’ there was your other) of poker here at home? Or e game of | giles? , What do F cate fay The Papal Seals _C soe ey wife to you. I have made your home a | friend, Prof. Hammerstine, the geolo-| whist where we can all talk? to know. My poor papa was an elegant " .. . THE BLOOMERS’ TRAGEDY. haven of peace, but you do not care| st. You and he were gay rovers in| “All right, you say? Co layer; he lost all our money play- Every Pope has three seals, The first is engrayed on m . ny, | 6 tht | those days, How many times did you| “Come, Mamma and Aunt Ellen ana |! rds. vou tearing your halr tor, {10S and ropresents St, Peter in a boat, with the name of) i dady nemed Mrs. Sperber has travelled 3,000 miles BROWN EYE “L know you are yearning for your|go with Prof. Hammerstine to Fort| Brother Wille, Mr. Nagg Insiste we|Mn tage? oe i Fe Fone On AA neT This In the Wiahsrman 4 Ring, and wee) Re treae through the jungles of South Ameri onih Her hazel eyes are deep wild bachelor days when you belonged | Lee to bring home specimens from the | play cards. ‘Ah, [know: you don’t care for a quiet | used for the first tline in If. The second fs a double seal oe ie! s 8 erica. On her As the fathomless eyes of Sleep, }| © & boisterous chess club and stayed | Patlsades? “AU right, Brother Wille, we wilt [Mt eaeeme ce cards In, your own nome: | which is used to stamp the lead on the Papal bulls. ‘The wf tions she wore khaki bloomers. These the Deep, deep— out til all hours, sometimes as late| “Men are deceitful and tricky, Col.| have stakes, If you say #0.” Meet ene Seed Theis the way he| oldest specimen in the Vatican ts that of Pope Honortus, | enlightened races of Ecuador and Peru treated with the And will no love declare, 4s eleven o'clock, with that gay crowd. | Wilkinson has Intertionally pretended) “Whose deal is it?) What's trumps, |@lways does: I) | nud bears the date (21. This seal has on one side the figures ‘yoneration they deserved. ‘And will no sorrow share, I can earn my own living. I will| to be un Invalld for years simply to dis-|Is it my lead? of St. Peter and St, Paul, and on the other the name of the f But, alas, the adventurous lady came to the Unitet Nor laugh, nor weep? Bet be a drag upon you, Do not con- | arm suspicion, Perhaps, for all wel “Mamma, did you notice how Mrs. EXPLAINED. ,, | Rope for the time being. The third is the seal which bears “hepa abe adataee A Avarm\ (sarsirany, Ride rehina sider me. Only be frank, Tell me) know. he deliberately cut off his legs) Gradiey 1s looking? She is getting so| “The trouble ain't with the farm." the private arins of the Pope, and Is used only for his pry Btates, r bloomers with the jungles! phe ayaiian Gold: you are tired of your home and of | thinking then he might not be suspected) fat, Oh, I know you think sho is hand- | sald the old man, “If the farm didn't) vate correspondence. t is where her troubles began. For first the be- Rah ctaace Ga atvineal our quiet, simple live and want to be| when he lured marcied men away from| some, Mr, Nagg. You think every | have to do auycuing vue support boeit @ savages of San Antonio arrested her, and next have realized that bloomers, like morals, or A’ thousand fathoms down, ¢ else are chained alive —R. C, MeFie in Harper's, a Kay rolsterer with your chess play- | (helr homes to go to his house and play, woman is nandsome except your own |# Could be made to pay; but it don & xo to the Museum of Natural History Sunday after Sunday in your. wild bachelor days? “Even before he had bis artificlal me, you say? “Here I am aitting not saying a word | “Oh, no, Never let ft be said that 3] and nobody tells me it {s my turn to| kept you home when you would be out) play. to all hours, getting nervous “I trumped your ace bap bx ‘Bhe—And you swear you will uiways love me? | dition holds that when the pillar touches the church aa) world will come to an end, The superstitious local pre: whenever ho Imagines that its point Ix getting nearer ‘sacred building, mounts the pillar, tt is sald, und ¢ Dit off the top so as to save the world from an un in wr ’ RAM ied fe Bore Z ¥ Hor.Loye to And, ing friends, chess with him. 5 wie. Aeriivin' annie: sa. foreekon” were ts A Weird Menace. ‘misguided barbarians of Chicago stoned her, The depths may hold; if, "There is Col, Wilkins, your old| “Chess is a brutal game, It leads to} ‘Why don't you play? Why do you si | blame. cago Poat. Close to the old Augvaldsnaes Chureh on Kitrneon Istand> 1 were, of course, outrages. But as an oxperl- But daring souls who dive riend with the artificial legs. T know | all sorts of dissipation. It makes a man|there like a dummy? Don't you see Fae aa yr ERED Norway, an leaning toward {t, is a stone pillar about twene salbreciehe shonid have investigated the cust Into the water brown you long to be running around the| moody and allent. Well, it does make| everybody is waiting on you? WOULD SWEAR OFF TAX. ty-flve fect high called the “Virgin Mary's Necdle.” ‘Tras & de : fran ‘omy Tg seek the secrets there town with him, them silent; you can't deny that! “My turn? Well, why didn’t you! ‘This conversation took place out in| of our tr! before venturing among Sink and drown, “Don't deny it, Didn't he and you| ‘‘You won't go, then, if it displeases! say so? Kansas, where they tax bachelors: 3