The evening world. Newspaper, April 27, 1904, Page 14

- WRDNESDAY EVENING, ° APRIL 27, 1904, EVENING WORLD'S | Published by the Press Publishing Company, > Park Row, New York, Entered at the Post-Oftice at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. VOLUME 44... .ccerceeee scene: Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World in March, 1904...... 51,5013 | Number of columns of advertising in The } Evening World in March, 1903,..... 1,03214 INCREASE............ 409" No other six-day paper, morning or evening, in New York EVER carried in regular editions in any one month such a volume of display advertising as The Evening World carried in March, 1904. FAMILY TIES. Y If anything could redeem the scandal of Mayor Mc- McClellan’s gas grab signature, it would be the beautiful wealth of family affection with which that transaction is permeated. In it we may study and admire the ideals of fillal pbedience, of fraternal attachment and of conjugal de- yotion. % ‘Mike, the Meddler, Teddy-fies His Terrier ~~ —: ‘ernmnrw | aa ot QTY SAI ee ot «~~ * » » BW BR BY B. CORY KILVERT. ¥ ? 1 ) po Filial obedience was laid bare by our faithful Mayor) What Is the when he dutifully signed the Remsen bill at the behest of his political foster-father, Boss Murphy. Fraternal attachment was expressed by Boss Murphy when, by having the bill signed, he lovingly insured to his brother John’s “Contracting and Truck- ing Company” the job on the Gas Trust’s proposed $15,000,000 Astoria plant. Conjugal devotion was evinced by James B. Gaff- ney, who, before brother John, was the president of the New York Contracting and Trucking Company, and who on being elected ‘Alderman kat fall, and thereby having to relinquish the presidency of the company, tenderly made his wife its secretary and treasurer. The New rk public sympathizes with family affections. But it considers a Remsen gas grab rather too stiff a price to pay for this touching exhibition of domestic infatuation. rea day! Let no man laugh or Ve Mourn Oar smile! Weber & have sundered partnership and New York is plunged tn gloom. A little loss to cause such loud lament? Nay, good sir; any pair who could compel so many million laughs as these droll fellows have done for twenty- eight years are a public institution whose loss careworn hutaanity can {ll afford. They cured much fllness with the medicine of mirth, much anger with the sedative of smiles, much misery with the antilote of Inughter. But now ‘they are no mora A MIRROR'S MISCHIEF There are five elevators in the southeast corner of the Philadelphia City Hall. Until recently only one of them had mirrors. Consequently women used only that one, and it was so congested with reflection studying’ Jemininity thet the mirrors were removed. Woman has of late been so prominently in the news m masouline fields of endeavor—all the way, in fact, from running street-cleaning depertments up to essist- tug tm the manipulations of high finance—that she has to be regarded as e@ regenerate being, freed from former foibles of ther sux, shouldening the stern) @eponsitfiities of Ifa scorming Ms fripperies and Bimectaties. ‘en@-me was-cowett in: awe, I wouan, striding proudly through her new WQpasin,. cuddenty faced fhe magic of a mirror. There ‘earihie moment.cf suspenm. Then che-patted ‘ato new nentnems, © crent igh fede Fornow he knew Bibahe war ctl a woman, te . platy of Nia et the ugiter @ egpenr, er constter the ‘The longer RYPNOID AND THE OYSTER, © rm ‘qguter knows too smh to ive In wwates, Theat deadly envizomment @ forced neattergs. When they ero caled reluctant from thele| mattve Sete they are left for some Gage to “tirtnty,” as ft {ep calied, in crates of trays. moosed at the mouth of Qeech-water stream. Dn Walter Bensel showed the County Medical) Bootety on Montlay night by photographic slides crates! of oysters thus “drinking” or fattening below the gushing mouths of sewers, Hence typhat, Oysters carry typhoid germs for nine days. If thoy are put into pure water the germ Msappeara in three days. Every oyster on the market hag gone this fattening process. It may or it may not have fattened fm polluted water. The customer bas no means of knowing. But typhot germs cannot stand heat, Cooked in any style, the oyster carries no contagion, It is the raw emer rs ‘the half-ebell” that {s dangerous. And May com! a Justice Davis finds that Mrs, Dodge-Morse In not “fully represented” fn the Intest legal twist of that nauseous case. ‘That is the way {t has looked all along to an interested publio, But apparently the Bar Asacclation “doesn't care.’ WHAT COTTON GAMBLING DID. Foolish persons a few weeks ago were “buying” cotton they had never seen and did not expect to see for 18 cents a pound. It is now worth from 11% to 14 cents, “futures.” Clerks, office-boys, messengers—and many business men who shontd have known better—Joined craze. Most of them were “closed out on the drop.” lds are gone, never to return, They | In the Bachelor's Ideal? By Nixola Greeley-Smith. T would seem from a number of letters re- volved from bache- lors of various ages that there are ao kreat many young looking — for ‘This should and rather unexpected tidings tor the eligible spinaters of New > York. A great deal has been sald and writen about the growing indifference manifested by the average young New Yorker toward matrimony, and It is a relief to hear from so many of them that they are actually in search of wives, though, to be sure, they usually add, with disheartene( candor, that suoh wives as they want are not to be found. One young man takes excep- tion to the modern girls’ mdependence, another to her strides, another to her loud and somewhat emphatio opinions, and stilt another, after reading a play- ful treatise on the subject of glad hose and divorces which appeared fn this column recently, sent in thie plaintive inquiry: “Betng a candidate for a wife, I would Ifke to Know if the up-to-date girl must draw attention to her ankles fa order to win favon Pleage write again on this sudject and tell me if a real good gtri.wM weer half hose.” Before answering a question of such grave Import ope would prefer to ser the “real good girl.” TM may be said ret as @ general thing she would not wo array herself. But there are a great many nice ttle girls who do a great many sify things, harmless in {ntent, but able to create a false impression, and the weaving of half hose to follow a ety fad might well’ be one of them ‘Phe trouble with bachelors of serous Henterrt is thet they are apt to fudge the jeligibte youts women whom they weigh tm the batanmce and find wanting, by some one Iittte detall of speech or ac- tion, mstead of by their general be- Mhavior, well-bred or othenwise, Each one has an {deal which, accord- Imm to biz taste, contains, fust so much uty, so much gentleness, #0 much culture, so much charm. Fe has made ap his mind that tf he ever happens to ® real Mve young woman possess. fomt these qualities in just there proportions, amd she displays a proper @ppreciation of his charms, he will ask ‘ner to beseme his wife For she wil! Ris ideal, But ff he does meet a girl who has ‘& greater proportion of beauty and a smaller allowance of charm, or vice versa, it is only after many difficulties and grave misgivings that he persuades himself that the differing ratio ts all right and that she will do. Tt t# not given to many men, or women efther, to marry their ideals, 9 fact which ts on the whole rather good for them. If by same wonderful ‘magic the bach- elor’s iden! could assume tangible hu man shape, or the young woman's hero of romance could step from out his pasteboard covers, there would be uni- versal wonder as to where all the un tnteresting, impossible human beings had sprung from and a general wish that they might botake themselves to the realms of idle fancy whence they came. For nature fn far more of an artist than any man or woman that ever Uved, and the very people who full short of our vain {deals are her | products, | $0o< Oey The Seven Ambitions PDPROAD? An observer gives the seven am- } hitions of a lifetime thus: 9 @ street railway That was the private side of the calamity. The public > be a professional bal The Great and Only Mr. Peewee. Mr. Peewee Shows What He Knows About the Rubber Plant. SaMATs THAT! SEE -HERE , YOU To-Day’s $5 Prise *‘Fudge’’ Idiotcr'al W-s Written CETS *::: OLD MEDAL FOD HONEST OULD BE POLICE ; CAPTAIN S/s|Sisisisi= Did you cver THINK If You Didn't Have a # Why you have a NOSE? If not, ponder, meditate Nose—What Then? If you DID NOT have WHO KNOWS? @ nose what would hap- pen to the handkerchief it had a COLD in Wer ied D you a in your would mow your car? - your EYES were bad would you fasten |GLASSES to you hair? son f Therefore cultivate a BLOSSOM, cheer- Hy fully given to DYE your nose. atria by PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for to-day, $1 paid for each: 1AM KLEIN, No, 149 Broadway, New York City; No. 3—C. E. FARR. What Is the Telephone Number? x, Walter A. Brcp5y, 211 West Twenty-first St., N. To-Morrow’s Prize Fudge I! 0 orial Gook, ‘‘Why Do Pink Camels Fish Absent-Mindedly?” Y. City. No, 1—LEON C, GIORDANE, No. 29 Broadway, New York City: No. 2—WILL- ee LACH TO THE FIRING LINE FoR YOURS 3 glide comes in the news that the German Government B Tancipal (2 SRD ™may, guarantee the interest on a railroad into Kast|© 4 nary the amarteat girl in the Africa to tap a natural cotton-growing region, 5, To be the President of y | Last year a bill to that effect got a black eye, This yoar ied lee the Reichstag is more favorably inclined, The foolish}? 2 Lon OF thes pee bo use $OR5540.88 “corner” is raising up rivals for this country’ " 4 ss ‘i 3 ; ‘Woes that sort of “high finance” pay? _ $00990006-0000900000000069 st 4 A |old sucker average, kept right along sending out the'r | stamp. By Martin Green. The Federal Bank Fiasco Shows the Sucker Is Still on Deck. T'S wonderful how many syckers Rothschild 66 pulled into that Globe gag and Federal Bank,” remarked the Cigar Store Man, “You're in wrong,” isn't wonderful; it’s natural. said the Man Higher Up. “Ti The time limit betwecp the birth of suckers has not been extended by legisla- They continue to arrive on earth at the rate of about sixty an hour, and the more practice they get at hav~ ing their rolls taken away from them the more willing they are to be worked. “You would naturally think that the hundreds of miles of type printed about the Miller 520-per-cent. game would have made everybody withy money and a yen for getting returns on the first bounce bury thei> hoards in the ground. If there was any newspapes reader in this country who wasn't put wise to the Miller fake it was because he or she was temporarily blind. But the wise crooks, who have confidence in th» con. and getting a come-back from a come-on for every “The Globe Security Mterature was dgsigned ap- parently by men skilled in decorating circus advertis- Ing cars. It is in red, gold, green, black and white, and on one of their circulars is a quotation from Shake- speare that is a hit, in view of the autopsy that was performed on the tin safe by a man with his foot. Tho quotation reads. “Our castle's strength will laugh a slege to scorn.” “It must have made the stage hands in the Globo laugh every time they thought of that quotation and side-stepped to. keep from falling through the walls of the tin safe, The circular was adorned with photo- graphs of the magnificent offices, was full of con. that a Coney Island ballyhoo man would think himself a moun- tain of gull if he used, and there wasn’t a name on it—* not a name of an officer, a director or an incorporator. There {fs one truthful statement printed across the: fice of the front page, surmounting the pictnre of an eagle with his wings spread over two hemispheres. The state- ment is that the Globe Security Company Is the greatest institution of its kind in the United States.’ “I should think the sight of a circular Ifke thet would make a man with money balk hard enough to break his shoe laces,” said the Cigar Store Man. “It ought to," replied the Man Higher Up;” but if we were all wise everybody would have to work, and the scheme of naturé makes no such a provision.” GOSPLETS @ Rhyme. By the Passersby. A ‘‘Hundredth Gir'l,’? fhe Goes, “Say, ma! I guess I'll go to work in Gotham, ‘There's nothing here but woods and hens—I loathe ‘em!” “My dear! Now, don't you get in such a pet. ‘There's time enough to think of such-like yet." “But Della’s gone, and Bess, and Lou and Katey ‘They all commute—and Lou 1s getting elght.”” “I know, Tut, tut! The girls are going bughouge, + AN daffy to typewrite in stock, or cloak, or rug house? “Well, wheres the harm? They'd better carry bricks Than hang on here, to turn out country aticke!” “Now, there you go! With one thing and another, I guess you're "bout ashamed to own your mothen” “Say, how you carry on! Am I fool Because 'm like the chums I had at school?” “Put, tut! [never sala you were, But, Sue, Suppose you went—now, what ‘re you golt “Do? Do! Why, anything, of course—t I guess I know as much as Lou or Li: “Heigho! Well, ask your pa, You're set as him, Law bless ine!~there he 1s, You're early, Tim.” She Returns, “Last thing T know, Tim, she was doin’ fines But that’s three months ago—and ne'er a ne. “Hello! Well, ma! Well, pa! My sakes alive, Don't look so scared. It's me, and I'll survive.” “Why, Sue! Come here and let's just have a squint, Well, by your looks, you didn’t bust the Mint “Oh, don't begin right off to Jolly met Say, got a slice of ple, or cup of tea?” , T just guess! Sit down, my dear, and eat, Weil, Tim, if that’s the style, it aren't too neat,” “Oh ma-go ‘way! I know I simply would, wide And now I'm back;that's all, I didn't make good, 1 couldn't throw a bluff the same as Kate, 5 . Bay, ma, this pie te-out o sight Home's greati? tive enactment, the dope of experience or otherwise, , ‘