The evening world. Newspaper, April 26, 1904, Page 10

2 \eaterid Yublioned by the Press Publishing Company, No. 6&3 to @ Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-omice / at New York as Secona-Class Mail Matter, — VOLUME 44.......0- cceeessee seen NO. 15,889. eee The Evening World First. Nutaber of columns of advertising in The m Evening World in March, 1904...... 1,50134 Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World in March, 1903,..... 1,03214 INCREASE............ 469%) No other six-day paper, morning or evening, in New York EVER carried in regular editions in any one month such a volume of display advertising as The Evening World carried in March, 1904. SUNDAY CRIMINALITY, Y It is a truly shocking thing to a thoroughly good Man or woman to reflect on the great monster of twickedness and lawlessness which lies torpid and un- Buspected for six days in the week only to raise its hideous head upon the Sabbath. Take, for instance, last Sunday. That day was Protected by a law stern and inexorable which reads: All shooting, hunting, fishing, playing, horse racin; + OF other public sports, exercises or shows * * are forbidden. Yet on that sad day one army of criminals fourteen Mhousand strong defied the law by watching baseball ed. Another felonious brigade spurned law by ing horseback in Central Park. Another smaller t desperate band of lawbreakers played golf and fennis at the country clubs. And a vast horde of YWalefactors poured across every bridge and ferry upon their guilty bicycles. ; Another clause of the law reads: All processions and parades * * * excepting only * * * Processions to and from a place of worship in connection @rith a religious service * * * are forbidden, Think of the callous thousands who without thought tof church marched criminally up and down our avenues and streets! When to all these are added the further thousands of felons who revel in the lawless delights of ‘sacred concerts,” and the yet further miscreant multitudes who steal into saloons, there to fuaff beer, it appears that all unknowingly we are living in a city which for six days in the week is as law-abiding as most, but on the seventh day becomes a ' Sodom of crime and a Gomorrah of iniquity. Pee, © Governor!—On Thursday a distinguished ation of men representing this olty in politics, in business and in philanthropy, will meet Gov. Odell in Albany and ask him to veto the gas “grab.” Thero are : many men who cannot take a day off to mo to Albany, But for a two-cent stamp any citizen can make It plain that he has a vote, that he has friends who have votes, and that he will not submit without protest to seeing the oity robbed. Write to the Govern Write del IS INSANITY CONTAGIOUS ? Ts insanity contagious? Of course tt is not, Yet, im yesterday's news could be read the story of Mr. Wwington Shock, who, having nursed his insane wife Mor twenty years, at the end of that time went mad Mimzelt. That Is no isolated case. The news frequently con- Yains similar stories, Moreover, it is a well-established Fact that doctors in lunatic asylums and alienists in putside practice become insane with significant fre- fauency. / It would be ridiculous to {magine that there is any ygerm or bacillns of madness, But it seems reasonable to suppose that so slender is the margin between the ‘perfectly balanced and the utterly unbalanced mind that Reason is too often Itself dominated and wrecked by the very madness which it strives to control and ture. Berving the City for Whatt—In a spirit of fairness The Lvening World yesterday printed the statements of five ‘Tammany Commiastoners ag to the good work done by their departinents, But of what use 1s it simply to clean ihe elty, to police It, to give it parks, bridges, fire protec- tion—and then hand it over on a silver platter, with humble genutlections and reverent mien, to “grabbing” trusts? POLICEMEN AND OTHER PEOPLE, Commissioner McAdoo'’s order to the members of the police force to pay more attention to personal ap- pearance is worth pondering by young men who do hot wear uniforms. i A slovenly policeman, his chin on his flattened thest, his stomach protruding, his clothing stained, is not pleasing to the eye of discipline. Nor to the eye of a business man is a siouchy salesman or drummer or clerk. Lord Chesterfield, in his letters to his son, said that & young fellow who was not a fop at twenty would have Black fingernails at forty, and at sixty—the rest of the sentence will bear looking up. Chesterfield wrote of the idle aristocrat of the Lon- Bon clubs. The business man need not be a fop. He does need, for his health's sake, to sit and stand erect and give his lungs a chance to breathe and his blood ® chance to circulate. He does need, for bis pocket’s sake, to dress neatly and appropriately for his work. ‘The Mayor had nothing to say" about the signing of ‘grab. Naturally, What could he say? none enen 514,149 School Children in all Greater New York. But The World 50 more individual subscribers and pur- } chasers in New York City alone every day |, than there are school children. It fe natural that per: entneneme 1 LL love Goes Home atli P.M. By |Nixola Greeley-Smith. “Eleven o'clock at night ts long enough far any beau to stay with his sweet. | | heart.""—-Judge Pollard, of St. Louts. H, admirable Judge, oh, wis young man! | Sighs of relief from millions of young women will! reward him. By a single wtterance he hax enshrined him- self in the hearts of all the jaded, weary The !mmortal ut- | terance of this St, Louis Dantel was the outcome of a complaint entered against her father by a young woman whore aultor had been forcibly dismissed by him after 12 o'clock But the young woman belonged to a very limited class, inasmuch as she ob Jeoted to the young man's departure. For no matter how attractive a man's presence or conversation, the average girl has had quite enough of it by 11 o'clock; and if he remains jonger her one idea is to get rid of him. Almost any man {9 entertaining enough until 10 o'clock and tolerable until 11. But after that he is @ bore. It Is really remarkable how a young man of apparent intelligence and schooled in the waya of this world can stay and stay and stay while hours of sitting in a bright Ught makes circles under the girl's eyes and the strain of keeping herself awake shows In her | creasing pallor and the drawn lines about her mouth tense with supnress- ed yawns of mental exhaustion and | bodily fatigue. If she could fintter herself that her too-stationary caller was glued to his chair by the spell of her enchanting beauty or fascinating conversations. things would not be so bad, But nine times out of ten she knows just an well as he does that he Is ing for the simple reason that he does not know when to gu. Often, Indeed, whe realizes that he in no better entertained than she is, and that he Is atruggling bravely against the strange fatality that keeps him there against her will and his, This offense of outstaying one's wel- come would be pardonable, if it were cenfined to very young men, or-to thone who had not in youth been accustomed to the ways of society, But It is not confined to them. Men in every walk of Ife in New York will be affected by the judicial flat concerning calling hours, Of courne, 4 Bt. Louls Judge can only directly in- fluence his native town. But, indirectly the effect of Ma ruling will be felt throughout the land and will be of luat- viotima of the men) who doesn't know when to go | | Ing benefit to long-suffering young enema SOME OF THE BEST JOKES | OF THE DAY, ANCIENT HISTORY. Chureh—T see some one has been call- ing Grover Cleveland the Democratic Morer, Gotham—Seema atrange the Demo- cratic party clings to back numbers, “What do you meant’ “Why, for the Iast two Presidential elections they have had a Jonah, and now they're after a Moses.""—Yonkers Statesman, A LIMERICK FROM KY, A playful young thing from Ky, ‘To her hubby purred, ‘Buy me that dy,"" An he paid for the hat (Which was forty-five flat) He whimpered, “Now, ain't Tuniyt” —Penneylyanfa Punch Bowl SHE, Her nleeven are 1830, And her skirt ts ‘6, Her tresses in the manner Of Louts Quinze are done, | Her hat ix quaint colonial, | Her brooch i pure antique, | Her belt ts 1860. But when you hear her speak What vear the maid belongs to You do net wonder more. Her dreas is many periods But her slang t# 1904 Washington Post. GREAT GALL, Stubb—Now, that's what T call gall. The idea of that doctor making calle in an automobile, Penn—Gall? Why, T think it ts very enterprising for a doctor to use an au- tomobdite, Stubb—But he's a horse doctor.—Cht- cago Nows, POOR MOTHER! Chapley—Aw—what natural wit T poa- sess I ot from my mother, Miss Cytt—Oh, como; don't talk that way about vour mother.—Jeater, a RUSSIAN “SCARE HEAD.” Cb TEATPA BORHbL MOAPOBROOTH FO NORD DOPTD- APryYPOM'D OPHEAS> KOMENMMAHTA OFT APTYPOKOR KPRIIOOTR, MU0KHM OBCIPRAURAXE TEP MAHCEIA KPERCEPS. rere Scope The present war has produced the fin heading containing more than a single Ine ever published in a Russian 855954994 a $2484-99 PIII! & ee ees oe Rare LABMDDODD DDADDADODIDAHPADINDDD DOOD HOME SWEET HOME. By T, E. POWERS. ‘Want You \ HAVE, ANOTHER DOO SO9OO9G9OH0HOO4OOLOOHIOHHH LIGHTNING, SOME THING Hubby Procures a SPRING TONIC for Mother-in-Law —Somet Pray Don’t Miss the TUsT ALITTLE: Toun, A I Feeu Like ANOTHER Woman Peewee “Fudge” Idiotorial Gook in the Next Column. SIOOOD POD IAD o a The Perils of Accepting Some Men’s Pressing Invitations, » | 66 y | “I don't feel that way,” replied the Man | Higher Up. “I feel like a marked-down shad roe, I had one of those experiences with a guy who ‘wants to take you home at night and double with hiv bun so that he can square himself with the bosom of his family. “I encountered this gazooliker about 9 P. M. with' his chest against a railless bar, and feeling for the rail with his feet. He was loaded to the Plimsol line, but was ‘rarrying his cargo like a tank steamer. “Escape from him was like getting out of Port Arthur ‘In a rowboat. By midnight he wes stewed to a steam, ‘nad he put up such a Bourke Cockran finish to an argu- inemt that I should go home with him that I fell to it Ae insisted that I should go home and meet his dear, sweet little wife, and partake of some of her chicken potpic. As a manufacturer of chicken potpie, he said, she had all the cooks from Portland to San Francisco anchored at the start. ““We went uptown in an open-faced cab and he leaked stuff about the sweet disposition of his dear little wife until it was a scream. After climbing three flights of stairs with him playing the harp all the way, he made \ Christopher Columbus look ke Blind Tom, by finding she Keyhole at the first rehearsal and landing me in his Rat. “Then his wife came out. She wanted to know who the lobster was that he had steered into their happy home, and handed him a line of conversation that sounded like an explosion. He came back with a digni- fied roast, whereupon she picked up a heavy tray and j essayed to land on him with it. Of course, she landed | on me, and as I hiked out I could see him taking it on jithie run to the rear with her fingernails clamped in hig ; ears,” ' “Has he apologized to you?” asked the Cigar Store Man. “Apologize!” retorted the Man Higher Up. “T met him on the street a little while ago, and he gave mo the cold-storage eye.” Costly Keys. Under Philip II. of Spain and his successors the Ministers of the Crown were possessed of what the Spaniards termed a clave maestra, or master key, which gave them admission to the royal palaces. During the reign of Charles II. (16% 1700) gilt master keys were conferred on the nobles and gen- tlemen In attendance on the King. These keys corresponded with and gave admission to all the rooms of the royal palaces, They had huge, oblong bow handles, which pros Jected from the right-hand pocket and were attached to the person by a ribbon. The subordinate members of the royal household were honored with similar keys, though they were not gilt. It is recorded that if one of these keys was lost the unfortunate loser had to warn a high official 6f the court, who at once had all the locks changed at a cost of: over 10,000 Spanish dollars. This large sum had to be pafd by the unlucky tndividual who lost the key. Another ouriowy custom in vogue in the peninsula at that time was the give ing of dummy keys as badges to officials and to certain now bles who held no court post as a mark of favor and distinos tion. OU look like a bargain sale of canned goods,” announced the Cigar Store Man. ae de» Spring Poetry, Why don't they say, These poets gay, ‘When they begin to write, “We want clothes new, These old ones do Look such an awful fright!’ Why don't they say “We want to pay Our coal and butcher's bill? The rent is due, And I tell you, ‘Those duns just make me 1 But no; not so! They'd rather go And write a silly rhyme About the bore We've heard before— The beautiful spring-time, RALPH EARLE. What Is the Telephone Number? w& w& & & THE GOOK. It Will Pay You to Cut This Ont Not Often Does Anything of This Sort Happen in This Column, Copyret, 1904, by the Planet Pub Co, one paren a wectse| the eminent Russian Fudgerino, whose book “Smudgaky \ uN lead fire company who nearly lost their lives a we A newspaper. Previously the most im- portant news had never been so hon- ored, and the death of Queen Victoria the al H, says he has. waa announced without any heading, Racehorses are bred and trained for To the Editor of The Evening World: wwula it not be a good idea for Fire | an age before they acquire thelr full! Ife very #eidom gets home from work Commissioner Hayes to To the Editor cf The Evening World ee 2-0-5-2 Williamsbridge (to Owe Five to William's Bridge.) Now Guess What This Is. Fudge Idiotorials and still keep! out of the foolis! for Firemen's P, |'Mhey also leave the track, as a rule, at have the men | strength. | » Baltimore fire} the parade on May 14 and let the | Tuesday. Sunday. ‘To the Editor of The Evening World: On what days of tho week fell the| ‘iways on time, but he does not ap- two following datas: Sept. 7, 1868, and Sept. 2 pk or two ago march with them? a,c. ‘Truck Horse Is Stronger. 18607 JAMES E. B., says that a racehorse has not got trength of an ordinary truck horse. Which je right? Aand B. every UUme, saloon al at the proper time for him prectate | enffor in allence. Corona, LT, | be found out. Lovel nd his poor wife sits at hom». his wife waiting patiently with supper. His this woman and she has to 1 hope his acts will A NEIGHBOR. Swain Aske Advice. itor of The Evening World: been a friend in a family for T am living in the same) over two years and have gone out with house with a couple The husband! one aister of Sve a great many more | # LETTERS, QUERIES AND ANSWERS. .# ¥ Now I find that I care for one of the other sisters a great deal more than for the one with whom I have gone out often, The girls’ mother does not approve my going out with any other than the joldeat (the one T have always been it Can you advise me what to tentive to). do, readers? No. To the Editor of The Eventie \orla: In there any law that compels a son- |in-taw Xo support his mother-in-law! Now, readers, how can 1 man- hore is kept clean and his meals are !ge to propose to her without having a [falling out with the rest of the family? You will observe from the above that Boroftky 1s a. profound THINKER—yet at times we modestly affirm | that we can give Borofsky cards and spades in the'): imatter of profundity of cogibundities. } #0 of To-Day’s $5 Prise ‘‘Fudye’’ Idiotortal Was Writ. ten by Arthur Raphael, No. 50 East Eighty. | yf eighth Street, New York City. ? 4 To-Morrow’s Prise Fudge Idtotortal Gook, Md fb: You Didn’t Have a Nose—What Then?’’