The evening world. Newspaper, March 11, 1904, Page 14

FRIDAY EVENING, MARCH 11, 1904, sf perereemenerees o oe : Spe EVENING THE ot Company, No. & to @ Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OMce at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. — VOLUME 44.....0006 seeseseeeeseees NO. 18,848, The Evening World First. | Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World for 12 months, ending February 29, 1904..........2+..+- 612,518 Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World for 12 months, ending ‘February 28, 1903. + 825734 eo L) INCREASE........ 4,261% This record of growth was not equalled by any newspaper, morning or evening, in the United States. 4 TWO HUNDRED FEET OF MENACE, ; In these days of tunnel-digging, the North River is} fn little thing between cities. But two hundred feet of North River pier space threatens to be a consideration fatally big between New York City and.a large slice of ocean commerce. Behind this two-hundred-foot menace is former Secretary of War Root, whom New York respects as to his accomplishments and disputes as to his pier con- © clusion; in front is Secretary Taft, whom New York > addresses with hope. It is a self-evident fact that steamships 805 feet long, Such as are to be put in commission in a year and a half, ¢annot dock properly at the Chelsea piers—now con- tracted for—measuring only 800 feet over “rip-rap” and all. It is also apparent that the Cunard Company will not be alone in the building of the new type of steam leviathans. If the giant steamships cannot find hospitable docks at New York, they must sail to other ports. The War Department might claim that it can take No part in a rivalry of cities. But what else is it doing, but taking sides, if it persists in denying to New York the full advantage of its natural resources? _ Commercial facts proclaim the need of 1,000-foot piers; capable experts declare there is room for them. Now, Mr. Secrefary! "GOOD CLOTHES ALL THE TIME.” “I like {t here, where they don't make me wear good clothes all the time.” There are periods when silk and patent leathers 4s a joy, the misfit garment a refuge, the hole in the stocking a hall<mark of glatsome unrestraint. In such a pertod Httle Miss Adele Quintera ran way from a city home of luxury, At such a time she protested because she was to be taken back again from humbler quafters, Her plnint is of the very present human. I will merge later into the content of the ‘eternal feminine—with the relieving discretion of ‘an occasional “old elothes” hour in the strict seclusion of home * Good clothes are al! the better for a quiet resting spell. Unless one regani good manners as raiment. It is never well to lay aside the fine garment of courtesy. THE ACCENTED “SUB” IN THE SUBWAY. A story of rapid-transtt trouble declares that “the sub-contractors A. B, & C. sublet part of the work to D., EB. & F., who sublet part of & to G, H. & J." In “subway” the accent is on the “sub.” Perhaps ‘ this ftem tells one of the reasons why. At any rete, “Fifteen minutes to Harlem” is x proving a good quarter of an hour for the contract middleman. As has been urged before, the city must, - in fts further tunnel yentures, find the way to get mearer the actual workers. There will be millions in it, 43 WALK A MILE, * . ‘Walk a mile up the newer Broadway and note the elty’s increase in chest expansion. Walk a mile up richest Fifth avenue and reflect ly that you could spare every millionaire on the street more readily than the millionaires could Spare you and your fellow-milltons. ‘Walk a mile up the Riverside Drive and soe the “wite open” which does not call for police connivance being Nature's own. Ge off at the Pelham avenue “I/ station, walk a , mile tuto the Bronx and acquire a fresh idea of why ew. York is Greater. ( Mhese words are addressed to many plain people Particularly, perhaps, to the man who bonets that he “Bas not “been above Fourteenth street in ten years.” If the disposition were a human heritage of pentéries which binds a New Yorker below Fourteenth treet for ten years, there wouldn't be a New York, ‘or a New World, or « printing press, or a horseless earringe. And eavage tribes would hauat til) the Haiison shores. ray THE TEACHER IN MATRIMONY. There has, perhaps, been enough discussion of the ‘merits of the rule that a woman teacher who marries Sprust resign her position. Current chronicles of sifiueens County impart a new phase to the general pacnation- ‘Two teachers of Astoria, it appears, have com- ® G the offense of matrimony. They were married Beoret. One has been a wife three years, The other )@ runaway match, decelving even her own people. its relation to the noble calling of there is certainty that marriage is an institution. That rule is against public policy drives the parties to a nuptial contract to treat a how. It ts not a game of chance like faro eloy. At these times the shoe with the run-down heel | ® The Game of Hearts for Art's Sake. By $8000040S0O004O9 9500 809-0064 The Great and Only M THE MOST IMPORTANT LITTLE MAN ON EARTH. POSES O LOOT LOO ov a r. Design Copyrighted, 1903, by The Evening World. Nixola G AVE you played reeley-Smith the most fas H cinating and dangerous little game in the world— that of hearts for course you have, if! » you are a woman— for every woman course if you area San JUST Look ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, TOOTSIE —AND Tic DEMonsTRATE TO ‘you HOW EASY IT man, for every man thinks he knows or roulette, but of cold science. A chess| 4 expert in an untutored baby compared to the man or woman who has mas- tered all its rules. Beginners—those who don't know any better—play it for the stakes and are not interested tn playing unless there are stakes. But the real devotee of filrtation plays for the aake of the game without insisting that it shall be worth the candle, or indeed, that there shall) be a candle, which they know {s,a thin of conflagration as well as {llumination and therefore dangerous to play with.| % In the game of hearts the one essen- tlal of successful playing is a cool head. Which is by no means incon- sistent with the warmest heart in the world, For ft doesn't matter how warm ® woman's heart ts provided she knows enough not to wear it on her sleeve for days, the human variety, to peck at. If she keeps {t in her own breast where it belongs and pays absolutely no attention to the occasional mad thumping and even tells herself, in a Christian Sctence fashion, that it tsn't there, she can have all the other hearts sho wants to play with. Men will help her to the bellef that she has no heart by upbraiding her with | 4 the supposed lack. For the moment the refuses to give her heart to a man he will solace himself with the belief that she has none to give. It is the only way he can account for It. An occasional loser will revive tao time-honored simile of the cat playing with a mouse, and torturing it for the sale of tortyre, ‘There 1s something humorous in the image of a woman, say 6 foet 4 as a cat playing with a mouse represented by ®& man 6 feet high and bread in proper- tion. Yet men use it repeatedly without seoing that itis funny, They forget that the mouse is the natural prey, and that if some rising mousers do disable more game than they know what to do with they do {t In the Interests of sport. And the mouse ought not to complain. Besides, other less accomplished cats may come along later and want a| 2 mouse. So that it will all be evened | ¢, up eventually. Cees ee SOME OF THE! BEST JOKES OF THE DAY. 3206-9 weve Long Island City, N. Y. & © TOO DRASTIC A CURE. A Borlin paper aays the best preven- tive of appendicitis is to walk on all fours three times a day, twenty minutes at a time. But who wouldn't rather have ‘appendicitis?—Denver Republican, BENCH AND BAR. Judge Rowndes—Your face is familiar, I've seen you before, Prisoner—Yes, Your Honor, quite of- ten. Judge Rownder~Ah! what was the charge the last time I saw yout Prisoner—I think it was 15 cents, Your Honor. I mixed a cocktail for you."'~ Philadelphia Press, 80 TO SPIQUE. ‘The natives of hot Mozambique Called one of their number a frique, He wore for a fob A china door knob, And an earring he stuck in his chique. —Columbia Jester. OTHER WAY AROUND. ‘Has your wife the whist craze?” answered the sardonic person. “Sho keeps her mind all right. It's the Person she has for « partner that is in danger of craxiness."—Washington Star, TWO EXTREMES. Eben, “‘is man dat won' take no advice at all an’ de man dat tries to take all he hears."--Wash- ington Star, FROM THE FRONT, The war news jumps the open ewitch, And scares the heathen jossky: But I can’t tell a fakeovitch From a canardovosky! Cleveland Plain Dealer. POSSE2O8490G902-2 2OODO 4 (ee CRAZY Loon! \TO DE BUG-Hous Mr. Peewee Tries a Little Hypnotism on Miss Tootsie Sixfoot. e SOOOOH ewee. OY A FRESH RED WAR WITH EVERY EDITION. UUST REMAIN DON'T You FEEL. DUCING YOUR SENSES TOA COMATOSE CONDITION Ww SLEEP -TooTSIE,; IE EVENING FUDG i) ane 4A, SS ANie SS New o> Don't Beat the Kid! (G2pyret, WU, vy the Planet Pub. Co. many valuable articles flying” direction of the back fence try! cat, WHY, OH, WHY, we ask, d WILLIE? Should be TALKED TO (death), MONIZED? off the cat’s head! to that, If it does not this paper will see to it DOES. The child WILL think. tween a child and a cobblestone. The stone CANNOT think. Only cats, children and cobblestones can thoroughly appreciate the advantage of mixing gray cerebral matter with red ink smudges. To-day’s $5 Prise “‘Ebening Fudge’ Editorial was Written by Mrs. F. E, Elliott, of No. 12 Ely avenue, PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for to-day, $1 paid for each: No. 1, FRANK J. LEAVY, 650 Ninth Ave- gnue, New York City; No. 2, JOHN WEHAGE, 319 West Fiftieth street, New York City; No. 3, CHARLES? »JANN, 969 Amsterdam avenue, New York City, > To-Morrow’s Prize Iditorial Gook, “The Difference Between the Dinosaurus and YOU.” Soak the Cat! women and men trying to connect aith Morpheus, so Don't you—you SAVIORS OF THE RACE—know thar ! your cute little fifteen-months-old college-bred Moguist By all means, when he does ANYTHING WRONG, | don't get him in a clinch, but bounce A COBBLESTONE \ The cat will not THINK. The cobblestone will see | OOo fathers, thinwless mothers, WHY, when there are soy many tired and worn-out working ) through the air in the ‘Ing to connect with the 4 lo you uppercut LITTLE ' argued with and SER- | 90900-0096 that it | $ That Is the difference de- | Z Itcanonly copste. ! $ @ $ 3 3 > $ ° 3 3 922D 9D ©8000-9069 090 $P2OLDS-7-399HOH G99 9-44. HER ERROR. ‘Why is she so sad?" “Oh, jum at the beginning of winter she became engaged to a man with an jauitomobile and she might just well have had a man with a h and sleigh."—Chicago Post —-——____ “CRIN.” GOLF SKIRT. Non-Sinkable Ferry-Bonts. To the Editor of The Evening World: Let the proposed new ferry-boats for Staten Island be provided with water- tight compartments, to prevent their sinking. The sinking of @ ferry-boat, with great lows of life, not long ago 19 still fresh in our minds, A collision in the long stretch between Staten Island. and the Battery is not to be desired in & boat not provided with watertight compartments. Make these new boats unsinkable J. M. FINCH, Commodore U. 8. Volunteer Life-Say- ing Corps. No. To the Editor of The Evening World: Was William C. Whitney ever Mayor of New York City? gement as one necessarily surreptitious. more, while the right to marry of a person ‘arrived at years of discretion cannot be denied, to interfere of an outsider, even a school is not yet established. bes Ae 1Uran, eta and tangles. To the moral that lc 'peril the Morse-Dodge caso| » Another (Near-S To the Editor of The ening World: shall we sea the last of the nightmare? Are we to have and consequent mud jot to line the 14 thus make a complete bar- m the sidewalk in fair weather, as well ag at present? Mr, Woodbury was quoted by your paper as saying he would require more men if he’ were to English modistes say the crinoline next fall. kirt will be popular on the golf links be obliged to keep the car lengths clean on all the crossings, It seems a shame that taxpayers and the public in gen- eral should be made so uncomfortable simply on account of one foolish dea, JENNIB. Overlended Wagons. To the Editor of The Evening World Why doesn't the city have Inspectors. to prevent. horse-owners from overload- | ing the poor beasts? When there Is four Inches of snow on the ground it is twice as much work for a horse to pull a load as on bare pavements. No city should allow scenes on the streets such as wero seen during recent snowstorms, when horses were maltreated on all sides. THOMAS B. No National Legal Holidays. To the Editor of The Evening World: A claims there are five legal holidays in the United States, B claims there are not. Which is right? A and B. Unclaimed Bodtes Are Burted in Potter's Field. ‘To the FAltor of The Evening World: Please decide, A says that there is a burial place known as Potter's Field, where unclaimed bodies are buried at tho city’s expense, B says that these | bodies go to the various colleges to be experimented on, that the name ‘'Pot- ter’s Field" is merely a blind. J.C. M, He Waa Born in Dresden. To the Editor of The Evening World In what part of Germany was Mayor MeClelian born? cw. Eveving Dress. ‘To the FAltor of The Evening World Is it proper to wear a silk hat to an evening’ ball being held pn Sunday? I am wearing a Tuxedo sult. CHAS. H. Birletly speaking, a high hat should only be worn with a frock or dress sult. The latter coatume, and not a Tuxedo, should be worn at a ball, In the World Almanac. To the Editor of The Evening World ‘Where can I find the location schools and high schools? Yea, ‘To the Editor of The Evening World: Is a man born here, but whose father a citizen, eligible to vote? ABRANS, A Milking Record, To the Editor of The Evening World: © Referring to W. H. B.'s statement of the WB, YOKG | # LETTERS, QUERIES AND ANSWERS. ¥ ¥ that eight cows can be milked in one hour, T beg to state that I have milked fifteen in the same pertoc and they had to stand without hitching. J. H. “Blue Blood.” To the Editor of The Evening World: Kindly explain what “blue blood’ means, A.C. R. It 1s a figurative term signifying aris- tocratle ancestry, More Cow Testimony. To the Editor of The Kavening World: 1 see that W, 1, B.'s answer to Dantel H.'s question, as to how many cows one man can milk in an hour, 1s eight cows. Now if the milker is a man he can milk twelve cows, In one hour, and the reason I say this is be- cause I have done it. CBW. Was Scotland Ever Conqueredt tor of The Evening World: land ever conquered or not? It so, by whom? D. Ww. Scotland came under English rule by “union Jn 1603. Prior to that period Scotland had been on several occasions had, from time to time, 1 | . him ‘Fearless Theodore.’ »}man who has been sentenced to jail. Government. | s0me scheme in your mind. You actically subjugated by England, but. ha shaken off the Roosevel2 lu Line for a Fine Bunch of Scars, SEE," said the Cigar Store Man, “that the report on the crookedness of Congressmen in connec- tion with the Post-Office Department has raised a loud and penetrating smell in Washington.” “Yes,” answered the Man Higher Up, “and it is an odor that will continue to prevail. There is politics back of it and the large, hairy hand of the President is appar~ ent in the deal, In his sleep he hears the people calling “Of course, the President has it doped out that this {s |going to help him with the people. If he didn’t think it would help him he would see that the report was em- balmed in the committee. But it is a question if his ar- | tion won't bounce back and smash. him on the solar plexus of his ambition. “In the first place, he has created a grouch against himself in the mind of every Congressman mentioned in the report. They are wise that he had it sprung for po- | litical reasons, and they are not demanding any encores of @ proposition that puts them in the same class with a Not only are the Congressmen involved in the alleged crookednesss. sore, but every member of Congress sees in tnis report. an at- . | tack upon the main foundation of his pull—his abiliy to help postmasters and post-offices. “If President Roosevelt thinks that the people in gen- eral are going to jump on the offending Congressmen for getting increased appropriations for post-offices and post- masters he has put his checks on the wrong card. The post-office question is one that hits the people right where they live. They expect their Congressmen to get them the best that can be dragged out of Washington, and if a crimp is put in the law in the operation it is ex- cused on the ground that it is no crime to steal from the The people regard the United States Treasury as a soft plant, and second-story work on in- side jobs on it In the way of appropriations for post- offices and repairs to impossible rivers are considered strictly on the legit.” “Do you think that the Congressmen who are stung will knife Roosevelt hard enough to beat him?” asked the Cigar Store Man. “May be not,” replied the Man Higher Up, “but if he manages to win out he will carry a lot of scars.” Mrs. Nagg and Mr. —— By Roy L. McCardell, ~ She Is Unsuspicious, but She Is Forced to Believe He Means to Desert Her. Ie It Any Wonder the Most Trustful Woman Should Have Doubts? 46 \] O_matter how you treat me, Mr. Nags, I forgive you. T can stand your bickering and quarrelling, I can put up with your fault-finding, and I can still smile and be silent and patient while you carp and criticise, “But do not keep me fn suspense, Mr. Nagg, You haye re too deep for me. Mea who constantly worry and aggravite their wives, as you do do it with a hidden purpose, “Iam unsusplcious, I never see harm tn anything, but, ohy Mr. Nagg, I have a presentiment that you are keeping some- thing hidden from me, “You have nothing hidden, you say? What do you meas by saying 80? Why do you contradict me? It would kill me to doubt you, and I never would doubt you, but tell me what are you keeping hid from me? ety time I start a cheerful chat with you on pleasant home topics you grow angry and rush from the house. Why, is that Mr, Nags? “Oh, I know you men! You are all alike. Didn't Mn Gassaway desert his wife and go out West and write = to her the cruelest letter saying she could have all his pi erty, but that he couldn't stand her tongue-lashings longer? And, while she 1s a horrid old cat, who is always carrying tales and scolding, she kept the cleanest house tried to make Gassaway comfortable. And just because al used to upbraid him for the way he carried on, smoking the parlor and smelling up her lace curtains and m things up, he ran away and deserted her. * “Even now she only wants to find him to make happy, for she told mo if she ever lesa her hands om hi she'd scratch his eyes out. ‘And what does she get for being kind to him? Why, teal somewhere out West trying to get a divorce from her. “Lucky man, you say? Ah, now I see! You are all same conspiracy! You are helping him and he will help “I am patient, I try to be happy. I am broken and will not answer you back, but let you keep on and scolding and never say a word. My friends, my know what I put yp with. Mrs. Terwiliger knows, Gradley knows, Mr. Smig knows, Mr, Smig doesn't want say a word or to interfere, but he said he was at you. “T look after the house, X pay the bills, ¥ try- dollar go as far as three. I don't smoke or spend my —waste it fs the better word—as you do. “Your tastes are all extravagant. A box of cigars only; lasts you a couple of weeks, you bought a necktie yesterday: and I never said a word, and just because I wanted a new. shirt waist, all hand-made, dirt cheap at seventy dollars, 4idn't you sneer and sdy ‘why not get two? “You were not sneering; you meant it, you say? Ah, ar, Nags, you can't fool me, Well, I took you.at your-word; did get two. “{ can get another If I want to? That's right; be san castic, I haven't a decent thing to wear, The d: or botched my new dress, and I will have to wear old things, I never say a word about clothes; I would sooner go around in a calico wrapper {f you would only stop quarreling with me. “But you never like to see me have anything—and look at the money you spend. You haven't spent a cent save for your Iunch and carfare in three weeks and you can prove if, you say? “Ok, oh! It is even worse than I suspected! You -are saving your money to go out West and become a Mormon and leave me to etarve, to desert me, to Join that horria man, Gassaway. For if you never met him, I know you have been’ corresponding with him! “T am talking silly, am I? Well, we'll see! What dia $ou do with your money, then? Pald my dressmaker’s bil? ‘Dhat's right. Now I see what you have been scowling about and vilifying poor Mr, Gassaway for. Poor fellow, {t fs — wonder he didn't commit suicide with such a wife, But you, who have a wife who is kind and patient, are carrying om like a fiend over a little dressmaker's bill and threaten The Oldest Tree on Earth. said that the oldest tree in the world fs @ bo Aan hapura, Ceylon, which was planted close to a Bud- bist shrine in 24) 'B. C., and Is therefore 2,149 years ol Legend ‘bas it that this tree sprang from « wevered by miraculous power from the sacred run away from me to become a horrid Mormon!” Blak -