The evening world. Newspaper, March 8, 1904, Page 10

ee Abdlisned by the Press Publishing Company, to Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Ofice at New York ws Sccond-Class Mai Mattei —— VOLUME’ 44......... 4. veseeeeNO. 16,540. > The Evening World First. Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World tor 12 months, ending February 29, 1904. 3 ++ 12,518)4" Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World for 12 months, ending February 28, 1903...... 8.25734 -4,261% ‘This record of growth was not equalled by any Newspaper. morning or evening, In the United States. INCREASE.. } ‘ of | THE »- The New York Girl and the Beauty buncheon By 'Nixola Greeley-Smith. CHICAGO wom- fl an, Mrs. John Rarton Payne originator of the ‘Reauty luncheon, has Invented a brand-new way by which one may get even with one's worst enemy—for by | omitting the name of any offending person from the Its guests, chosen imong one’s intl-, “HOME RULE" VERSUS MEDDLING, A policeman dismissed from the New York police force has his only plea for reinstatement through the courts. It is said that a “home rule’ sub-committee from Albany will report to the full committee to- morrow a recommendation that a rehearing before the Police Commissioner be provided for, with powers of reinstatement “for sufficient reasons.” : Legislation in accordance with such a recommenda- A .tion would be full of practical usefulness where it was sdlesired that the police should stay permanently in _ Politics. The right kind of a Commissioner would be able to put back the wrong kind of men with a despatch greatly pleasing to “the boys'’ and tne boss, and for reasons amply sufficient to satisfy both. There is no other argument for the suggested » Measure. Policemen, high and low, are dismissed in New York “for the good of the service.” For the same good, committees at Albany are urged not to confuse “home rule” with mischievous meddling. The latest strong man lets an automobile run over hie ehest, Tiere world he something tn this if he could sub- Siltute for cil the knocked-down-and-run-over people of , New York. -AS TO THE PURSUIT OF TRUTH. Machiavelli, a shrewd genius in many ways, ivided men into three classes: Those who find the truth; Thoae who follow what ts found; ‘Those who do neither. The classification is curiously incomplete. But for the wisdom of Machiavelli it 1s well to re- a member that in his day there was no mecjority of a " House Post-Ofice Committee at Washington which , having had forced upon it startling and scandalous 5 truths about many members of Congresss, moved to - table the whole matter. Of course !t is no concern of the people that their _ highest law-making representatives—and the Governor of New York with the rest—are listed for using “in- * fluence” on petty matters of clerk hire and other Post- office details. Shall not the people, too, be tabled on ' Mr. Overstreet's motion? Under the eccentric bearings of the current wer, even Chinv’s traditional rage, redivivus, might become a Con- fucius worse confounded. il THE HOUSE OF GREAT VOICES. The House of Great Voices—it is here. A little late, ‘but exceeding fine. Every age must have long enough to catch up with its own marvels. This time it is the . Phonograph, which comes at last into {its higher use» fiiness. We arrive thie at the phonographic pantheon. Beside the portrait gallery of City, State or Nation, there is to stand the hall of records, given over to! cylinders of wonderfu! utterances traced in wax and fit for re-utterance. Through tardiness of installation, . much. There will be no record of— Mr, Roosavelt promising to follow whither Mr, Kinley's Buffalo speech led the way; Mr. Hill promising Mr. Croker in 1900, with teurs and pain, that the 1904 State Convention should go to Albany; Mr. Behwak persuading investors to partake of Ship- we shall miss Me- yard stock; Mr. Pallas murmuring that the city “might as well” x have $1,500 out of the 320,000 per year pald for advertising on the Public Library fence; And lots of other things. Byt there are a few compensations. The mugic + cylinders may yet afford reproductions of— ‘The “sacred” word of Mr. Morgan; i Perry Heath's recital of the statute of Hmitations; Postmaster-Gencral Payne's conclusion that “hot air’ fan burn when it is hot enough: Mr, Bryan ordering the “cross of gold" into cold storage; And further remarks which anybody shall suggest. A nation may be happy with or without a history, But without sthe House of Great Voices, hereafter—it is that which is another matter, quite, with authority With Senator MeCarren it was not so much a cage of the tle that binds as of the collar that choked NOW IT’S THE BEAUTY LUNCHEON. Chicago's latest social function {s commended to the study of Manhattanese in search of drawing-room novelties. It is-called a “beauty luncheon,” and the price of admission is good looks and the good’ will of the hostess. ‘There must be restrictions, however, as the guests number only fifteen, and if Chicago hes not at least a score of hindsome women {ts admirers are sadly mistaken. As a device for the kicking up of social rictions it would seem notiing could be finer than the “beauty luncheon.” Of course those left out in the cold will be rn by jearousy, and each of the fifteen inside will wonder how it happened that the others were invited. © Besides # certain pulchritude of her own and an mates for personal) pulehritude, one can more than squ accounts with her, whatever her offense may have been. Before making out her lst of selected beauties, Mrs. Payne gave her own beauties Mrs, Payne gave her own they are, She suid ine eyes are, above all, an essen “lal to women's beauty, The almond eyes and the perfect oval contour of the faces of Titlan’s women are to my mind) most exquisite Next as a basic neces- sity for beauty is a dainty and well- chiselled mouth. An ugly mouth has spoiled many an otherwise pretty face. Then there is coloring. It need not necessarily be high, nor even accentu- ated, but a passable complexion ts necessary to help the eyes and mouth ‘inully should be added sh of per- sonal magnetism, a certain manner—vivacity, spontanelty—call it what you will. With these four ele. ments T think you have the really neces- fary “constituents of a beautiful woman.” ‘If Mts, Payne had only added to this description that nll the massage and complexion creams and lotions in the world will not make this kind of beauty, however beneficial they may be in re- Meving absolute ugliness, she would have conferred a benefit upon her nex A plain woman can be and often ts Improved by eyebrow training and lash culture and a host of other little alds of the beauty specialist. With the as- sistance of lavish and becoming gowns may even, upon occasion, produce the effect of beauty. But in the pregence of a really beautl- ful, woman her glory fades, her splen- dor varnish suddenly as Cinder- Olla’s did at the striking of the clock, New York has probably more hand- som’ women than any other eity in the} ‘world. And yet the number of these women who have beautiful eyes in startlingsy few. The next time you are in a streét car look at the eyes of the women opposite you. You will dis- cover that. they are almost without exception small, blue or. blue-gray, frank, honest eyes perhaps, but ne(ther splendidly intelligent nor dangerously alluring. A» a race the Anglo-Saxons are not noted for their beautiful eyes. Neithe® are the Germans. And though New York {s @ cosmopolitan city the Saxon and Teuton strains are strong enough to make themselves visible in the eyes of its women, A beautiful mouth fs really one of nature's rarest as well as one of her works. The mouth is the one fea- which art can not modify, and there are probably not Afty beautiful mouths in New York, though Its women culled beautiful number 60,000, However, a feature in which the New York girl excels and which Mra. Bar- ton Payne fails to mention as a requl- site of beauty, Is the nose. Gibson hax not fdealized at all in giving to his American goddesses the nasal arch of triumph which distinguishes — them, For the New. York girl os a rule has a yery good nose—a little short, perk for the Greatan deal, but nevert straight, clean cut and beautiful She has the complexion and the vi- vacity prescribed in Mrs, Payne's recip for beauty, and she has, as a rule, a Most exquisite Ngure according to mod ern standards. Praxiteles perhaps might not enthuse over her broad, flat buck and narrow hips, but te fast able tailor finds her perfection beautiful hair, too, th fects sometimes a most out of doing it. Witness the re dora pompadour, which every woman*who wore it look as If she were trying to conceal a black eye. Alto- wether, indeed, she ts a ft candidate for the “beauty luncheon,” and the first New York woman who gdopts the Chi- cago fashion will be troubled by an embarrassment of riche: —————— SOME OF THE BEST JOKES OF THE DAY, 38, She ugh she af ndish way 3 ENOUGH SAID, You reckon Maria's in Paradise? asked the friend of the widower. “T can't tell,” was the reply: “but 1 know one thing for certain, an’ that ts ~she ain't here no more!—Atianta Con stitution NOT DAZZLED. “You have allowed yourself to be daz zled by money,’ “That,” said Senator Sorghum, “is untrue, In ang matter where ioney was concerned I have invariably been coldly practical.”-~Washington Star, UNPOPULAR. iveadfully mortified when I took thi er-plated pitcher the pedro club gas on our anniversary down to the Jewellers to Havé it exchanged.” “What was the trouble?! “1 owas charm of| 4 ¥ e ® 3 “They said they'd already exchanged it four times."—Cleveland Plain Dealer, Amount of available tact, the hostess for one of these fanetions should possess courage in a marked degree, ae for Gru ~Himeelf a small man, Gruber possesses Wappily, Nhe many anothe copic stature, the acumen of the mite, mighty. ‘Miaplayed at its brightest in, the wonderful Gruber /Adams—proposing to turn probationary ri ites" Courts into, police serge nd the Civil-Service Commf, WANTED A MOURNER. ‘The lawyer was drawing up Enpeck's will. “{ hereby bequeath all my property to my wife,” dictated Enpeck. "Got that down?” a veny asked the eréd «the meek and DOOTDDEDOD orooe PIVESEDDD) $9000$0O6004406000046 4269096 The Great and Only Mr. Peewee. THE MOST IMPORTANT LITTLE MAN ON-EARTH. Lesign Copyrighted, 1903, ey The Evening World. Mr. Peewee Attempts to Give Some Kind Friendly Advic2 to Mrs. Nage. (How CARE You BREAK) VINTO OUR DOMESTIC Ces! row DARE you) Finsutr | Shes] 10) THAT Hus (BAND OFF (98 NACG) » THoPe. You REALIZE How 4, perrectix Dis~) GRACEFUL IT 1S . FOR A MAN ANO\ WIFE TO LINE IN A STATE OF CONSTANT <— VARRING DISCOR’ You SHouLo TRY Tie ERrecr OF A_REASONABLE FORBEARANCE TOWARD EACH OTHER! BuY_A_ FUDGE ANO Ger A RED SmuDcE!/ On! on!on! HounvEo~ ABUSED - INSULTED- VJAWEDAT FROM ft TILL NIGHT’ MOR SING Ty Poor WEAK SYSTEM CAN SUFFER AS ID. You! You! 20-Day’s $5 Prise “Evening Fudge’ Editorial Was . PER SONA i LL COURAGEOUS May ST A LADY WHOSE y FSSION US CHARDIN 4nt’y PROFITABLE SERPENT NA Moccasin, Thus was the mystery of how manage a mother-in-law HGee the rea! at the Job ts | solving Yhe problem at the wrong end give the mother-in-law the ato made plain, and American men are enabled to see | amateurs, thay they have failed ecause they set about Written by Susie Riggs, No. 109 West 104th st., N. Y. City PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for To-Day, $1 paid for each: No. 1-HARRY MUNCHAUSEN RAPP, No. 724 Carlton avenue, Plainfield, N. J. No. 2—-F, J. MESERON. care of Siegel, Cooper & Co, Chicago» Ill. No. 3—-JOHN BISCHOFF, No. 340 Garden Street, Hoboken, N. J. To-Morrow’s “Fudge’’ Editorial Gook, “Why Does Baby Suck Its Thumb?” | double Propitiate her with 8, and when {t came to hoodooing | comes. blind. TAM, AND You ARE A CHARMER ee YOU WRETCH! ro EN- COURAGE THAT HUSKY BRUTE HUSBAND OF _/ MINE INHIS OVER— & BEARING Conpucr <>) \ FoWaRDS HIS MeeKf INGE FER SIVE Mupe AML Nor PERSECUTED a, Ma WAR NEWS APPEARS IN NO OTHER PAPER! er en OF RUSSIA SAYS Any SOLDIER wHo — 7 PoLLy WANTS, A NAG “ Eminent psy- ae chologists tell us $ = that the EMBRYO ; MEN and WOMEN | A of our great unl- { verse do in thelr | Infantile and undeveloped state, even up to the age of } 1 1 ' Why Do Bables Offer Biscuit to Their } Feet? Copyrot 1904 by the Planet Pub. Co.) ‘wo years, offer BISCUIT to thelr FEET, { The learned psychologist HOFFDING tells us a baby offers biscult to its feet for the same reason that A DOG « CHASES ITS TAIL, It regards it as not belonging to | ) ' itself,: This ty 2 great thought, PONDER on {t John D. Rockefeller does not offer biscult to his feet, ! He Is arich and successful man, HE HAS RISEN. He ! has taken biscuit and THE WHOLE BAKERY, ‘ It {s dSo.true that you have to begin at the foot to ! attain ‘success, ' YOU<rd NOT a BABY, bat do you want to offer bis- ! cult to your feet 2 ‘ ' ‘ a Led booed comet naa Hie Sometimes they are . y ET by walking on our Evening Fudge Headlines, r ! A Fudge smudge on your feet or elsewhere will t make you think hard—perhaps luridly, ' Bables do not think. Therefore they offer biscult 10 ! thelr feet, 336-5 tte « ---The Charming Lady GREAT SNAKES anything she was past mistress of the|comes dumb, Cajole her, and she will art. Divested of its passes and flim-flam myste! ing a mothe | ‘Thetr trouble has been qhat they trial} but ever ef 0 where the whole standing army couldn't drive her, If she is one of the women who think y, the Parisian charm for work-| they have a commission from oh high -law is merely the old| {0 run the universe, consult her opinion tive one of conoilintion. | every subject. A woman !s always gifts, ands she be-| 0 pleased and flustered by being asked her, and she be-| for advice that she doesn't notice while they were merely bungling Jolly “1d lke to know" meats haven't any meat in ‘em," . Flossie—At the church we |} before the’ sermon. 4 for the dients and tngen-|— thing to make them mad invent a way] 4 ‘ to curb a mother-in-law's tongue, @yo..| | Paris comes wlid that a celebrated secress, apne for help by a man in danger of be! jJectured to death by hfs wife's mother, wave him a magic charm which turn her strictures, upon his conduct in praise, and made his life one grand, sweet ong of domestic peace wut nar mony. ‘This talisman consfi¥led of a eleyhant in cry: with an amethy | set in its back, which the man pre- aented to his chere maman, and ne sooner had the old lady donned it than T has heen land of hap fous subter mL 1 yo give an exarple os, ma’am: a red-hot poker,” med Mother (to Dorothy small t it your hand Dorothy: her mind took on the larg “Does the baby talk ye of the elephant ‘toward hi: ping, and sho, begame so iin} moderation tyylified jn the amethyst that she'quit nagging im and refrained from interfering 8 affairs, h “Doesn't have to tok?" eee OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES. - began little Willie, “Well, what would you like to know!” “1d lke to Know why sweetbreads haven't any bread in ‘em and sweet- Ro to they always pass round the collection bag Dolly P'raps that's so ax peorfe may give before the clergyman’s said any- “An abstract noun,” sald the teacher of the juvenile grammar cuss the name of something you ean Uhinks of but cannot touch, Now. EH: romptly answered the boy. Betty, having been pecked on the tinger while trying to stroke a parrot uy vGh, dear! Oh, dear! I thought !t was going to be a nose, and It's a tooth, who, after being allowed to make n small tart for herself, gehorously invista on dividing with the family)—T hope you we fore you made this, dear, >, mamma, but I did afterward, . 2 asked a friend of the family, ,! replied the baby's disgusted Uttle brother, “he doesn'thaye to.” 19 do is to yell and he gets anything there is In the house | Whether you take it or not, If she is one of the ladies who have A reform bee In ihelr bonnet and whose breasts are’ so covered with “anti” badges they look like a perambulathig |ribbon counter on bargam day, get her [to drink corktatls fe dyspepsia and play rn because it "a sclen= . tifle mathe; teal game, vrauade| ds to relax her g., t ming iz musical comedies and vaude- shows, Reformers only knock the they do not do themselves. If she !s of a suspicious nature and believes all men are gay docelvers, [Matter her to the Hmit, ‘Tel her she! | stilt has the figure of @ Gibson girl and ask her how she preserved her complex ton. ‘Thus you will have an ally who | wit scold your wife for her silly: Jeal- Jousy because she is convinced that you |are an artist who can't help admiring ja fine Agure when you see one, | if she stays too long: neglect you | wife to pay her attention, In this wa |the tutes will settle i between them, jand {t will not beyour fight. anyhow, Above ull, never ungue regarding your rights, Lay them at her feet and she asked his mother, Pv “I ean | Odessa. | can't, Lverything (Except News) : =e About the War. 467 SEE.” said the Cigar Store Man, “that the Japane ] ese have got busy with the Russians agafn.” “They had to do it to keep thelr war adver- Used," replied the Man Higher Up. “The Japs made 4 qucrter-horse start, but they have been plugging along jlately like a repeat relay on the Pony Express. For a | couple of weeks back the war has been a series of inter- missions and the war editors are mixing their drinks. I've read Weird news from the seats of wars and dis- asters, but the bunch that is coming out of this con- filet between the whiskers and the kimonos ts all to the mustard “You pick up your favorite newspaper and turn fe- | verishly to the war news. In the headlines you see that |the Jupanese uppeared thirty-two miles off Viadivostok and opened fire, tossing in about 200,000 roubles’ worth of lyddite. Then you leap down to get the horrible » letails about how the Russians in Visadivostok were scattered ail over the snow-covered plains of Siberia and find an account of how a Japanese shell struck the house of Gen. Shookemoff, broke the mirror in his fold- ing bed, bonnced into the yard and blew up a safe. If the truth were known the Russians are probably pick- ing up the Iyddite shells, screwing the cans off and using the contents as salad dressing. “Seeking for news of slaughter from the scene of ,, hostilities you read that Major-Gen. Pflug acknowledges the receipt of 2,000,000 cigarettes for the soldiers. The jice is so thick in Vladivostok Harbor that the red ball will be up until ufter April Fool's day and the price of j beef is so hich in Harbin that it takes almost as much to | buy ‘a beefstenk there as it does in New York. Con- { | d t a” ¢ A | lensed mill has gone up 50 cents a can in Mukden and ithe orphans in the Moscow Orphans’ Home have asked |that they be fed black bread instead of white so that the ¢ rence in cost may he applied to the Red Cross So- lety’s work, A Japanese barber in Vladivostok shot a Russian officer dead because the officer criticised a hair- ent, and the push-cart peddlers’ association. of Man- churla hes organized a union. Russian sailors at Se- bastopol get full of vodka and serenade Vice-Admiral | Bezobrazoff, and 1,000 ‘longshoremen are out of work at Yevanten, the Chinese leader of the brigands, proclaims that he catches bnilets in his teeth, and Ivan Ivarawfulsouski, the celebrated Irkutsk dealer in edible candles, announces that he will pay his married em. * ployees full wages if they go to the war.” ) : 1 s pretty soon,” predicted the Cigar Store Man. -* “So we ought,” agreed the Man Higher Up, “but ft wouldn't set me back any to hear that Admiral Alexieff has refused to Int his soldiers fight because their chest protectors are worn out.” | 1 “We ought tofget some information with gore on ft By Roy L. McCardell, At the Photograph Gallery He Deliberately Tries to Spoil Her One Happy Day, and Then, the Last Straw, the Photog- rapher Said, ‘‘Look Pleasant,’? ‘sc © 1 won't go to any other photographer. That N lust man who took my pictures made me look like a fright, with hard lines around my moutt idan awful expression, “Oh, T krow vou hiked that picture, but it didn't do me justice, it was so horrid of me that Mrs. ‘Terwilliger, the nasty cat, begeed me for one. you car} ene in your pocket, too. I presume you were lke Mra, Terwilliger and tonk {t out to make fun of me before. sour friends, ‘You did't, you say? Well, 7 wouldn't put It past you. 1 found three 5 hairs on my left temple this morn{ng. Who Is responsibie for that, Mr. Nagg? Why, you are, Oh, if you were only Ind to me like Mr. Terwilliger ts to thas beats him and that he fs afratd of his life of her, And yot see how kind and thoughtful he te | of her. You ave nor that way with me, But ‘that fs be- cause Tam so quiet and uncomplaining, because I keep @ smiling face and never say a word— Stand straight, Mr, Nagg! Positively you are getting round-shouldered! “Would you have them taken profile or three-quarters if you were me? » “You don't know? Of course you don't know! You don't care elther, You take no Interest In anything I do, Perhaps you don't want me to have my picture taken. Maybe you want YOUR plctitre taken, Have it taken with your foot on my neck, Mr. Nagg. Have {t taken with you stending ove! me scowling and scolding and bullying and browbeating Take it some way that will show ‘how one patient, meak- spirited woman suffered at the hands of @ tyrannteal, un- feeling husband! “Don't you dare answer me back! Don't you dare open your mouth to me! I don’t care if it is an open street. I have stood no much, T have stood your abuse so long that J a have reached the end of human endurance. : “Oh, I have no pride left, Mr, Ni You took that out of me long ago. And as for creating a scene, what do I care if T do create 1 ncone? You have driven me to it. Yea, 1 will scream. I'll shriek if you abuse me further! “Why don't sou speak to me?’ Am I not good enough for you? Are you ashamed 6f me? Den't you want to be out In public with me? I go with you for a day's pleasant outing? io have a photugraph taken to send to my friends and rela- tives before I age under your cruel treatment, so that they would not know me aa I was, and you scowl and sneer and ‘ never spenk a word to me. Why don't you say something? “Don't you dare speak to me! Why are you silent? Oh/ how long can I stand it? You will speak to me if I give you. a chance, you aay? “Oh! Oh! O-o-o-h! But T will be calm! You want me to break down and weep just because I was happy and wanted to have a picture taken! But I will have a pictuge taken. Here Js the place, ‘There, I have torn my dress onWhat nail on the stalr! Why did you bring me to this horrid place, You knew how It would be. I suspected. T did not want'ta come, T did not want any pictures taken. But you cargled on so that, as usual, I gave in. ‘ “Didn't T esk you how I should have them taken, ahd what did you sty? Well, IT don't remember what you sald, but It was the cruellest, harshest words you have ever spol en and T shall never forget them as log as-I live, “You can't recall whot you sald, you say? \Gf-courme You say 49 many harsh things to me un@ you ‘cont care how you wound me that It is no wonder vou forget But T don't forget. Every cruel word. you atter Burns iteel ndelibly into my memory, into-my heart! . t “[f T could only think what tt was you sald to me you would see that every word 1 utter is true, tin He “YeaT am all ready, Mr. Photographer, ‘Look pledieant? will return then witty liberties « Bewdes, ina talline mate! mice bts mother-in-law every man la outclassed, ie dare you, yit! take me tome, Mr. Nage! Your cruel plot: i phuve che aftronted by this puppy bie i OVEN ,) i How dare you? As)if T tooked “any other way! "Oh, oes ea ae