The evening world. Newspaper, May 26, 1903, Page 12

ci vi ss ey AGAZINE DOPDDOLE-DD YO®OODPYOVVDECY VU DDDOADDDY® EBOVEDUDOOVOOH 0902044 DOLE E POD 090001-022000000 MR. HOTFOOT COMMUTER IS LATE AGAIN---THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN. ; HOPE 1GET TO THE ras ir SM. Be ME CHARG aS C2 Z, Sie: cE, S STATION GEFORE YONDER v Wee in? bee Zoe i is) Ms t MOVE STORM COMES UP. Ei eenltae Baer? CHAR cE! JI Wete oh HIS OFFICE OUT : Nae a w THE EVENING # WORLD'S # HOME Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Omoce at New York as Second-Class Mali Matter. “s e G, is GT JERSEY RX A VOLUME 48........::c0:seeseeee1/NO. 16,253. SKEETERS! (| «; o d he ee -— CONFLICTING COURT RULINGS, J e eo ’ At the dinner of the Civil Service Reform Association’ & | NOW 1S THE TIME : \ , ; Police Commissioner Greene criticised City Magistrates To Buy A HOUSE Y 6 —- AR op, J ° for various shortcomings, among others that of holding) @ |ON’THE ‘DELIGHTFUL oe —S “such views of the laws that the result of bringing any! @ samplaint on certain kinds of offenses before them 1s / dargely a matter of speculation.” The allegations were somewhat contemptuously refuted by the Magistrates, Magistrate Zeller saying that the Commissioner's com- ita ‘Were ‘not worthy of notice.” ‘et is not point ient them by Magistrate Breen's latest excise ruling? In the Yorkville Court Sunday he} said: ‘‘When a man onters a hotel the proprietor and his employees have a right to presume that the man makes himself a guest and intends to obey the spirit of the law; hence if he orders a drink the proprietor or his em-_ ployees, presuming that the guest intends to order a dinner, may lawfully serve him with a drink first.” This seems intelligent law and is doubtless good law; fm effect it will permit others besides Magistrate Connor- TOLD ABOUT ton to “take a cocktai) on Sunday an hour before dinner NEW YORKERS. 2950600606 $5606 eoutoees BOTHGATES ON OLD JOKES. Genial Joshes with Gray Hair and Moss on Them Defended by the ‘‘I,’’ Guaid. OD 3 ba bs = (Ss & 2 eS = = iS Zz = Es & > D > co) (‘= = > Z DM fo) 2 O = Es S i fm spite of 10,000 Greenes.” Considering the general Yack of uniformity in the Sunday meal hours a proprietor will be justified in presuming that a cocktail ordered at 9DOOGOOOO ‘7 WAS THERE ® A. M. is as sure a bona fide preltminary to a meal as NDREW CARNDGID hes paid « AND at 7 P.M. That is, in Breen's district. A proprietor in debt which his mother incurred THAT ANNIE LAURIEY | Ci pee Fee Sere oe ta emeraT ead pay @mother district might find his “presumption” at fault long ego in the highlands of Scot- = GAVE ME HER > = SEF atin, eased an e Wes! Platform. He fend his house raided. land before her @o nhad earned his first PROMISE ae HIS VOICk ») wrinkles about his eyes. ia ieee dollar, ‘When tland Mire. ! ; Su But the point fe that the Breen decision ts in direct | Cermegie had borrowed & ton valilinee Travel - OH SINGS: WS ld) Bothgates aughed as he sald: “If 1 wasn't so busy TQ: @onfiict with other magisterial decisions on the same | trom a neighbor, and as the years rolled LIKE Os bY ike fo take a spin out to the green things in my automo 3 SAw- MIL . ‘yexed question, and therein lies proof of the justness of |by the debt was forgotten and left un- “Your automobile? Say, man, didn't yqu see the big head- tho Commissioner's criticism Going Slumming—Two young women exploring “China- town"? in San Francisco donned mule attire, were dis- covered, arrested and subjected to a most unpleasant experience with the law. In New York, when two no- torious Tenderloin resorts were raided lag week, fully half of the 150 persons arrested, most of them women, Desought with tears in thelr eyes to be re'eased on the plea that they were only sight-sowng. When a down- town resort of notoriety was “pulled” not long ago an apparently respectable couple begged off with the excuse that they were “slumming.” Perhaps tt 1s the risk in- volved which gives this kind of diversion its Incentive, ‘Yet {s {t not a somewhat dangerous venture for a woman at all Jealous of her reputation? Does it pay to see how ‘the half world lives when the sight involves the oom- Promising of one’s good name? . MR. CANTOR’S CONFESSOR’S HINT. Much in the role of a confidant dropping a hint of a @ecret he would like to disclose in full, the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst intimates that if President Cantor would tell the public as frankly as he has told him the inner ggagons for the removal of Commissioner Stewart, it “would ex- @eedingly relieve the existing tension.” There has been a prevalent Impression that there {)-7 were facts of Interest leading up to the request for Mr. Stewart's resignation which have not even been outlined @m the brief communications with which President Can- for has favored the public. The summary decapitation of an official with whose ‘work he had declared himeelf as pleased less than a year @go, indicated a change of mind on the Borough Prest- Gent's part as complete as it was sudden. What was the caune of it? Will Mr. Cantor now take the community fmto his confidence and thereby “relieve the existing tension?” : patd. Not long ago ft came to light in a ourtous way. An enterprising adver- Uaing manager offered a prize for the best suggestion as to how Mr. Carnegie shoul! use ‘his wealth. One of the an- swers was that “the best thing Mr. Car- negie could do wes to pay his mother’s debts," and in thie way Mr, Carnegie firmt learned of the 16 qhillings ($3.75) his mother had forgotten to repay. He made inquiries, found that two daugh- ters of hie mother’s friend wore living and paid them each #3, being et the rate of compound interest at 6 per cent. twice over. eee ' “I came near winning @ small fortune at Mors Park Saturday,” sald ‘Pat’ Powers to « party of friends last even- ing. “In faot, if the winner had been Bagnum's old-time headless horse I'd have been flush to-day," “How do you male that out?’ aslo Carl Devis. “Why, the horse I played! to win lost by a nose,” explained Powers. ee ° '@. © O'Sufivan, the Tammany orator, and Deputy Police Commissioner Piper have each lost an arm. Their figures are, however, #0 perfectly developed otherwise that at first glance many per- sons would not note the defect. co 8 “abe” Levy ham bought a summer home on Long Taland. For the firet fow days after he moved out there he made Ight of the inconventenve of the twice- a-day railroad trip. Yesterday, how- ever, he reached his office nearly two hours late, owing to the slowness of his watch, the laming of one of his horwes and the perstetence of a freight train in blocking the main tine. As he walked into his office he greeted a group of waiting olfente this: OUR ST IN A MONEY, beven % GIVES f “ovr WHEN ROCKEFELLER To SON GDPVDITO0G-IOO9GHGOO< lines In the papers, '8 Killed in the Paris-Madrid Automobile Races,’ ‘Automobile Ran Away and Plunzed Into the Sea, and ‘Automobile Exploded and Killed Owner and Chauffeur? You better be thankful you ain't got none." ‘i “That's £0,"' said Bothgate: “They is advantages In being. poor. When I get sick the doctors don't operate on me for appendicitis. My little red-head hikes over to the drug store and gets some medicine and back 1 go to work.” The fat passenger laughed heartily and entered the car He had been blocking the platform, and a passenger come. mented savagely on “idiotic exchanges of inanities whlo&! some people call humor." “That man don't eat his breakfast till 12 o‘olock," sal@! Bothgates. “What's he expect? I'm only a guard. If Ej could reel off good jokes every time a man gives mo a a I'd be getting a house and lot a week from Weber & Fielda, “Ain't (t funny? They's lots of people purtend to get mad when a fi works off a little fool joke, and they get ner vous If somebody hums a tune, and they got sarcastic if feller whistles, Them little jokes keeps many a feller out the eick house if they have got gray hairs and moss all| around the edges. They's a feller gets on at 82, and ev. time he says something Dutchy: ‘Vell, how you vas, ain’ it?" Now, when I say that it ain't so funny, but I ab laugh at that feller and I say, just lke him, ‘Purty not? and I tell you straight I'd rather meet that feller tl @ whole carful of glum ones like that sour stomach in there, ‘What harm {s {t being a fool if a feller wants to.be on Read about that feller that tried to josa with a conduet on the bridge Sunday? Says he when he paid his nickel te the conductor, ‘Can't I ride for half fare? Sald it serious! and kind @ surprised Ike. What does the conductor do? He) just gives him the hard eye and don’t say anything, and the) fool joker jumps off the unsoclable trolley and over the bridge fence Into East River. He says to himself, ‘This 18) @ cold world,” and over the rail he goes. Now, if that a conductor had just dropped his dignity and joshed back the| feller might a gone on to Brooklyn and raised a family. “ ‘Bothgates,’ says my red-head, ‘is my hat on straight? ‘How a’ I know?’ I says; ‘I ain't seen the hat-store map of how {t ought to on.’ Well, I guess I said that 1,600 times, but red-head, he laughs every time. Of course {t's a f Joke; I don't know anything but fool jokes. ‘What's the! harm? She laughs and I laugh and the kids laugh and we're, ihappy. I don't see as these college boys make jokes that would look well in print. They just fire their old, worn-out! “T used to feel like congratulating the Abe ACO sues ex yella around, and/the Oieger tools they is ¢he bet: chi whi tence coma: fer they e 1 CAR-STRAP GYMNASTICS. We en oe feed py CE THe ‘"When I get to be too old to laugh at a fool joke I want! ‘The poet who could find books in brooks is outdone by @ comedian in “The Runaways,” who discovers means of physical improvement and personal beautification in car straps, elevated stairs and generally in the daily ordeal of ¢rush and scramble to which New Yorkers are obliged © submit en route to and from their offices, To stand in a surface car, according to this authority, is to strengthen the muscles of the legs; and to look upward toward the top of a skyscraper gives the neck mruscies elasticity and tone. The strap exercise, as outlined, is to hang alternately by the right and left arm between stations and to finish the trip with each hand clinging to a strap. In this way the benefit is distributed, neither biceps being @ighted. And the good derived 1s passed on to the muscles of the chest and to those of the back. It is apparent that the philosophic strap-hanger, in- @tead of grumbling at his lot, should appreciate the ad- vantages and consider himself blessed by the opportuul- ties for exercise freely provided. Every man can become his own professor of physical culture, with “L” or sur- face car a gymnasium ready at hand. The discovery de- gerves to rank with that of the conservation of energy. But now I know, by sad experience, that the electric chair is far oreferable to the miserable existence of the com- mater.” eo ee Prot. A. V. W. Jackson, of Cobumbta, was one of the very few Columbia in- structors whom irreverent students had never nicknamed. Recently, however, he hes started a class in Anglo-Saxon Uterature, since when he is familarly Icmown, from one end of the campus to the other, as “Anglo-Jackson.” 8 Mary E. Wilkins ¢who is now Mra, Freeman) recetved « crushing blow at @ reception tendered to F. Marion Craw- ford. A friend brought Miss Wilkine up to the guest of the evening with the introductory remark: ‘Mr. Crawford, I want you to meet Miles Mary B, Wilictns, one of our fore- “Baracenesca,” politely; ‘Ah, does she writet” LETTERS, QUESTIONS, G.OR 13 Nor Sung ING vrese @ GWohkn D. Rockefeller astonished a number of his guests by singing “Annie Laurie’ other rtch men are here suse: ed.) Hark to Gates, Gould, Platt and Morgan exercise the vocal organ! “a WESTERN at, Onys, GRAPH a voice as smooth as O11. The favorite songs of % ouT IN THE COLD WIND, OUT IN THE SNOW! SPEED MADNESS. ANSWERS, Their arpeggio scherzandos rend the money-laden air. The casualties of the Paris-Madrid automobile road $ Ah, how sweet to hear them singing where mere coins were erstwhile ringing! rece point anew the moral of a recklessness which in of “0, K" > But the dulcet notes they “float” can’t be discounted anywhere. this case was different in degree only, not in kind, from thet with which we are all too familiar. Whether it is the upset of a racing machine on a Staten Island road, or gocidents like those in which the Fairs and Hillott Zbor- owski lost their lives, or this latest and worst of road secords of disaster—whenever there 1s a powerful machine pounding along under the direction of a speed-mad chauffeur there is the prospect if not the near possibility of a smash-up. It seems an immutable law of automobile owner- Bhip that a desire for fast travelling shall develop, Gada an ordinary locomobile runadout tame and sighs to (Possess a large and powerful touring car, In the case of women chaufieurs the early feminine fears give To the Editor of The Evening World Kindly inform me of the origin and meaning of the letters "0, K," DESIROUS. ‘There are several versions of the term's origin, the most generally aocept- ed belng that an fiilterate man finst wrote it as an abbrevietion for “All Correct." “All Correot" {a the meaning it still bears, Civil Service Query. To the BAitor of The Evening World Where can application be made for al positions In any of olty de- Agply at oflice at Oivil Service Com- missio} alm street, Manhattan. $O9OSO998-4946906-6096040OO040990OO0O, TRY THIS MATCH TRICK, a8 Same Old Penny Query. Anybody knows that six matches and CONUNDRUMS, What kind of pins make good pies? Pippins. When is @ man the sweetest? When he fs candid (candied) Why should we think that @ locamo- The weekly (weakly) news- papers. ety? Because it Isn't aloud. Why is a whisper forbidden in polite | CAN YOU DO IT? HOME FUN FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS. |/9°™ of the Best Jokes of the Day. REDUCING THE DRINK HABIT. “That {n Sandusky.” ‘Not in Sandusky?’ Yes. The Brewers’ Unton demands the only cure for which lies in its gratification. This| partments; also where ctvil service ae rae eer aE SEE WORE SR twenty pints of beer a day for each em- emplains why the ?rime Minister of Great Britain has|P*P°T* are obtained, and where infor. we ae: ‘ 5 ployee, and the brewers want to oul dup age Haare rants Ares i Bs mation may be obtained as to when ext Nite shou las acer wil a pscnlen 6°, them down to ten pints.”—Cleveland ‘been ; ren od for violating speed ordinances. | sarien of examinations are to take pines? me the c ate. ond Fore vee Plain Dealer, ‘ + Ca Ma at periodicals are always out o ; Probably that s why a young woman like Miss Roosevelt JACOB A pealth? THe 0 HIGHER GAME, “The Earl's first idea in coming here wak to become engaged to a girl witn a million,"* to Jump the track and get splintered." —~ UNLUCKY THIRTEEN, A man at Cassel, Germany, has petitioned the authorities ; to alter the number of his house from 18 to ll, the reason of his request being the Impossibility to let rooms in a house: nuinbered 13. Even well-educated people, especially women, he found would have nothing to do with a house bearing the! supposed unlucky number, says Home Notes. At Cassel the” hotel-keepers have no rooms numbered 18; they pass to & direct from 12 ON THE EVENING WORLD PEDESTAL ay ig 2 Rete | To the iaite The Kvening World ¥ ure young ladies at the break- Jn tme to a hee confidence admirable enough in| I hear that pennies will ve called five matches do not tr ing up of a perty like arrows? Because pavects as u development of feminine accomplish-| in ind the value of the same will be{and yet they can be made to do this) !!ey can't fo off without a, beaw and One girl with five - : fe “but suggestive of the Inevitable working of the {17 cents, 1 hase quite @ number of them are all in a quiver till they get one. —Phitadelphia. Prens. accumulated and I would like to know When is a man out of date? When PLAYED ON APRON STRING. Pchard A. Canfield, gambler, whom Jerome toasted thet he had catia] phase of this speed madness is witnessed in| “Cther thls 1 really a fact. Go to the match box and get] ne's a week (weak) back. “Mr. Henpecqué, let me introduce you en Hey Fe) see se pees waa ess 4 sed in Miss c. | Cleven matches. Lay ee of them on the What did the spider do when he came to the Count de Dieppe." Ohfidren! See on our Pedestal i ishiug around a curve} ‘There ts no premium on 19? pennies and then place the other tive in| out of the ark? He took a fly and went “, sto meet “ Green.” coach, now jumping the track and im-| Maca is worth one sent and no more, Such @ manner that they will make| lime. : ui Rinna ayer oi et A Nem ter one lives as. near Paterson ‘Sunday. Tho!T old hoax concerning an additional You can fool ull the members of) | Why has an ocean voyage no terrors ily play ze mus ene Tee eure MNS ce teetcie trotalit cian fe P| valuulonthem seems) (math new be with this. trick. for physicians? Because they “Why, I don’t know the first thiag By claiming he'd turned Canfield down; ‘ mere: «The li voca day, dewalte the frequent. acser, 4re) customed to see (sea) sickness, bout music,'” But lo! He's braved th frown, 1 racing tro Rita hin Hamitct neery, a Sate) vg. /Cleven, but you can shaw them how mx|” Why tn rT p Arey olka r 7 is his n early every reputable news- U jaw the Vhy & popular novel iike autumn] Can you" draw this figure without lft-| “But 1 hear éet all eround wou ' A By strolling back to Gotham towa, ? paper that the 1902 penny is worth no,and five, is properly placed togetner,| Because its leaves «re u i i" . be fo ni fy l Quickly turned |ing your pencil from the paper and with-|play second Addie to your ‘—Btt~ | Tow Tete, wsdiwa ltl, abies a AAR. oie be