The evening world. Newspaper, April 27, 1903, Page 10

Bat. WS C ( Press Publishing Company, No, 63 to 63 York. Entered at the Post-Oflce ‘as Beoond-Class Mail Matter. -NO. 16,224. ig ‘. gain of contro) of the Hoboken m os negealber besides the New Jersey com- this route to and from suburban homes. a the railroad implies an eventual moderniza- and terminals and an immediate improve- the service, boons long looked for in vain from owners. There will be the remoter benefit to nity of the force of the good example on other riines. Improvement begets improvement. A more adequate ferry servion has long been overdue. ir facilities of transit in and ¢o the city have been dei and bettered to keep pace with the wants and / @%pectations of patrons; the ferries alone, except for the vania, a shining contrast, and in some particulars oe Hoboken, have held to the obsolete standards of a generation. Except ‘for these lines, there is no ferry company on Mther the North or Hast River possessing a fleet of fast, ‘modern and commodious boats, There are boats on each “®iver which have been in regular service almost since (wer times, Antiquated and shabby, plying between an- SE SLHOGHGOHOHH9OOG-H9E ~elent and outgrown terminals, they are to the river traffic | > ‘what the horsecar is to the underground trolley. The Lackawanna’s purchase points to the building of 1@ footbridge across the Barclay street plaza, where the congestion of traffic calls for such a means of safe cross- ‘ing as urgently as at the Prie terminal in Chambers treet. It is likely, also, that the new ownersiiip will provide for direct entrance to the upper decks of the ferry-boats, a change demanded for the comfort and con- venience of passengers. That these improvements will be forthcoming tn due course of time is made probable ‘by the road’s present policy of liberal expenditure for betterments. ‘A MORE "' BROADWAY PRICES.” JThentregocra will be glad to see Harrigan back on the But will not. many regret that tho arrangements [ee his return necessitate the end of the Donnelly Stock ‘Company's engagement at Murray Hill and the trans. . dtommiation of that theatre into a playhouse with “Broad- ) way prices?” This means that a pair of orchestra seats, ‘nti! lately costing $1, will now command $4. Mr, Donnelly says he has ‘‘about exhausted popular~ price material.” He has assuredly given his patrons their money's worth in meritorious performances of good plays. In the case of many of these dramas the novelty thad worn off so long ago that they were new to the Present generation of theatregoers, and the house held the favor of a large and appreciative patronage. ; ‘There was profit in the venture for the manager, as Where was for the CastJe Square Opera Company at the ‘American and for the Pike Company in Cincinnati, and there usually is everywhere for good plays presented i Be ie exes of talent ‘at popular prices. The regret Qs that there should not be more rather than fewer com- ‘panies of the kind. The passing of the Murray Hill re- ‘moves a popular “‘halfway house,” so to call it, between i. Broatiway ang Bowery standards. A MILLIONAIRE'’S AUTOMOBILES. + The purchase of-a private automobile “stable” by C. . K. Billings gives an idea of the extent to which the ownership of horseless vehicles has gone. " What is now a second-class ‘‘stable” which does not con- fain-eutomodiles of various kinds and styles, ranging from focomobtle runabout to Panhard racing machines, ignd including electric victorias and broughams for family Jame, + Given a stable that houses two high-grade racing machines of sixty or eighty horse power, costing from $15,000 to $25,000 each; a victoria and a coupe at $5,000 ‘each, and various runabouts, an investment of more than 950,000 is represented apart from the cost of the bulld- sing. The services of the chauffeur call for monthly » ‘wages of from $125 and board for a capable man to $200 oe ‘an expert familiar with mechanical construction. ‘The incidental expenses of keeping the machines in good running order are not insignificant; the mere puncture of @ tire may call for an outlay of $100 to provide a new one. Automobiling {s thus for the present, and probably Mestined to remain for some time to come, an exclusively i ‘millionaire amusement. It forms a new outlet for sur- plus funds into the regular channels of the “circulating medium” and accomplishes good results thereby. Within three years the automobile manufacturing industry has provided employment either directly or indiregtly for a } small army of men, It is the provision invention is con- stantly furnishing for the rellef of congested trade. RICKEY’S LASTING FAME Col. Rickey will live on in fame along with Boyoott, Burke, Lynch, Blucher, De Joinville, Bessemer, Gerry, Gladstone, because of the beverage which will perpetu- ate his name in the dictionary as at the bar. The num- ‘ber of men who have enriched the world's vocabularies ‘dy acts or deeds or inventions or fashions bearing their mamies is large. Yet the creation of a word 1s not easy and it) is due more to accident or popular whim than to an earnest purpose on the dnventor’s part that new words come into se. Von Helmont, the Belgian chemist, originated the fword “gas” and it survives; but his other invented word, “bias,” died a-bernin’, Various writers have endeavored to make old words fashionable again or to devise new, without success, nor has success attended their ef- ‘ foxta to oust or suppress new words to which they ob- sected. Many British purists fought against “bus,” and swhen “telegrapher” was suggested there was @ chorus of r ; “telegraphist’ was the proper word, and Rich- Grant White fought for it la vain, ve proved equally futtle, _ It ie 8 fact not likely to please the purist that most worms that,are incorporated in national speech, ting always the new descriptive terms of science, up from the ranks. The number originating in society is small by comparison. Language is Other objections thue @ greater word-colner than Fifth mic Wadden than Van Bibber, The on arrive in the form of slang, u a Sapo the Vaudeville stage and = JOKES’ HOME. By Roy L. McCardell. SHALL WE TAKE HIM IN? ESTERDAY we were waited upon by a well-dressed, shabbily ai young man of middle age. He med Jet dlack auburn hair and ight blue dark eyes, He was a short, thick-set man, very tall and thin, and of a talka- tive, taciturn disposition. In’ the boginning of the\nterview he cloned his remarks by silently handing us the following card with pompous ver- Profemor of Pseudclogy. ‘With this hé also handed us the fol- lowing typewritten printed matter that showed eyiderices of hasty carefulness in its compilation, ang the excelent pen- manship and bad writing impressed the reader in a manner that was scarcely noticeable: Opinions of the Presn, ‘He Mes like ¢ruth.”"—Chicago Timos-Herald, “To him truth ts far stranger than fotion,”— aN eee nay fronted “Ms an ‘eighteen-carat tar he takes the deanery.'—Boston Globe. "To @ vivid imagination he Joins @ quist con- ‘A emile that ts childlike and bland, @ tongue mankind."’—San Francisco Examiner, “We thought we nrere good at the game uatl) Grey appeared, but we admit that his Meabilities jain Dealer, that ts convincing, but—great Scott! how deftly he does avoid telling the truth!"'—New Orleans Picayune. coming to us without any end in view was to apply for position of Professor of Pseudology, Prevarication and Eco: nomica gf Veracity at the Old Jokes' Home, Shall we take him in? Do the mem- bers of the Society for the Prevention ot Cruelty to Humor deem it necessary to have a Professor of Pseudology, Pre- varication and Economics of Veracity at the Old Jokes' Home? Write us and give us your opinion, Your will is our pleasure, ‘The handsome 8, P, C, H, badges are still to be had by those who send a two- cent stamp to Prof. Josh M. A. Long. Old Settlers’ Reunion, Prot, Jouh M. A. Long: “Say, Disie, do you folks have family prayers?’ “Of course, we do.” “When; in the morning or at night?’ “Why, atmight. We ain't afraid in the day time.” “Do hurry, doctor." “Wity, yes, yes, dut what's the troudle?"’ “Trouble enough! My wife's mother is lylng at death's door. Maybe you can pull her through,"’ ‘Talking about all our dnventions and improvements, I often think of the pov- erty of the ancients. They didn't even have slates, for we read in the G (Book thet in those dayy men “multiplied jon the face of the earth.” $ c. F, 3.6. P. Cc. LETTERS, QUESTIONS, ANSWERS, Asks About “Flying Rat,” To the Editor of The vent: World Is there such a thing asa flying rat? { have seen one flying past me, and I have told people this and they only laugh at me when I say I saw a flying rat 8. K. What you saw ‘ you was probably a bat, “KF are un- known, ying past’ ing rats! He In Eligible for Presidency, To the Editor of The vening World ts @ boy born,in the Unjted States of foreign parents eligible for the Presi- dency? WHA4AM WPRBECK, There Is No Premium on Them, To nue Editor of The Bvening World Is there any premium on 1902 pennies? Needs No Papers—He In a Ciilsen, To the Kditor of The Evening Warld 1f @ son is born in this country to foreign parents and the f elt could that son Th here or must he get citizen Pers because his father is not a citi J Mayor of Brooklyn, 181-1585, ‘To the Editor of The Evening World wh When was Botn low, avon of Brook. SCHULLER, “Mme acs is Blind, To the Editor et Tee rine no iat” fi Se Ae Mie cup * detender, Hat asd i LA Pibug. the w THE POSSIBILITIES OF A PLAT THey DONT KNOW I WEAR THink Tec RETIRE Him ON A PENSION Si “GN ‘Au, BUT WHEN ‘I BH) OF. I GUESS HE Spm WONT DOANY ANNIHILATING? Co pLay THIS GAME with ME AND You GET A U. §. SENATOR: SHIP-MAYBE, \ FRANKIE! —S Now that tales of Mafia-killing the public mind are filling, Let us hope the bad example won't infect Odell and Platt; For to see such staid civilians go vendetting like Sicilians Wpuld be a sight that e’en would jar the stanchest Democrat. Hight strokes of the pencil are eum- clent in most cases to tell the story of the face, The first requirement is an exe-shaped line. If you cannot draw this without @ guide, lay an egg on the paper and draw a lie around {!, with the amal) end down. That is the chin end, The big ead of the ere line represents the pene el pr. The subject will be baldheaded and beardless, to be eure, but if you care to add a few little curves about the length of one side of a paren- thesis mark, your ation will possess whiskers and hair. For the present purposes, however, all drawing is confined to the interlor of the ege oval, fttaight Mees will represent each eye, with the lashes. By slanUng the linea on mond-eyed Chinaman, down in the mouth, make a Ines fnd es is desirable, inasmuch as the exclusively straight-line face hag 4 vapid expression, whereas curves add oN ty; @ face ail curves, on the other hard, chdwa too much rotundity to be perfectly agreeable, Leanness may be expressed by drawing # slant’ ne at each bide of the nowe, By making one eye of @ circle and a dot Me, other eye mE scree and obrves, & wink may be reproduced. iA . |top of @ room, what article of “ “laa CONUNDRUMS, What plant stands for No. 4? IV, If 4 man Dumped his head against the tio ery would he be supplied with? Gelling whacks (sealing wax) Why ts a tleht boot like an oak trep? - Because it produce 7 Because it contains so many currants. What {® that which never ‘uses its teeth for eating? A comb. What ships hardly ever sail cut of eight? Hardships, Why ts & peach etone like a regiment ot sndinret Because it has a colonel isa wraiah nota Fie rey frase it ts @ Uoking . TO DEPICT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS BY SIMPLE STROKES. T-ODELL VENDETTA, The Cheerful Idiot and The Flatiron Whirlwind. Ra) 99999939949H00O990O9H OOOO f © a all uA tetas atc Some of the Best ° Jokes of the Day. NOT 80, American—You have noticed, I suppose, that the balance of trede, ao far as 'your country and ours 4s concerned, is atill in our favor, Nothing of the eort, sir, Englishman- ,| We exchange a wornout title for a beau- comb and the other dosen't need one, When ds @ rose ilke @ book? When the leaves are read (red). Why should we ask a sailor If there {9 8 man in the moon? Because he has ben to sea (see), What is 4hat which ‘shows others What It cannot eee itself? A mirror, When does @ litte girl eat music? When she has @ plano for tea (plano- forte). aif 728 oh: 72 yesh hate stare pga would you get it off the Wh: ae phe ve the wan? Be- oa Bs em | Where, ay tiful Amertosn heiress almost every day in the year.—Chicago Tribu: LONG-RANGE INSULT, Jagson—I wouldn't stand for thet if were ‘you. Why don't you call him Mer? ‘ Wagvon—That's just what IW do, where is your telephone?—De- trolt Free Press, ARGUMENT THAT WINS, ‘Ah," she alghed, “the great men are all dead. ut the beautiful women are mot,” he answered, Then #he looked soulfully up into his erve and told him she had gafd it just to iy If for a momonbockionge wesortetee HIS EXCUBE. “And you won't rent the rooms to us by y we be ® chiar’ THE MAN FROM THE WEST, Impressed by New Yorkers’ Love for Ctothes. | HD Governor from Saint Lewis wag surveying the emg, T nificence of the Waldorf-Astoria. “Hoard about it often," he sald, “but never hap — pened to see it before. Man out in,Saint Lewis stops here often, He owns a ranch down in Texas, Had a good man= ager, a good year and made money. Business brought Co to New York. Brought his manager along to give treat. Jim Olden, the manager, was amily ly stunned this thing. Hardly opened this mouth all day; just eat around and looked. At night his employer said to Jim: x “Put your ghoes outside the door and they'll black ae for you."" “Black them?” saye Jim. “You mean they'll gild them.” “Why, sir, I never knew what they meant by —_— youth’ until IT came to New York. Our women dress. they put on all the gold and spangles the bearded lattes the smooth-faced men wan think of; but our boys are sort careless and think a ooat that's got no seams cracked is right if {t ain't so new. But here the men almost shine to the women. “Man Yeels he must te always looking after his cl Every evening out comes the dress suit. Of course, always had a dress suit and brought it along. Trot i regular. And just last night I discovered it gras’ out of ‘Had it twenty years and thought it good for twenty more, “Winy, sir, out in Saint Lewis the times you'd wear q dremp suit are 80 few one might easily last Afty yeare if it i for the moths, Went toa party once. Wife said full and so I get into a swallowtall. See Judge Gmith going: same place and he's {n business clothes, Back home I go change. Just going up the steps (Dr. Jones/comes in full regalia, ‘Excuse me, r,’ I say, and baick I for another lightning change. Get ‘back and march in to find thet the doctor has skipped, every man is in clothes and I look like the inferlocutpr of @ minstrel with my dress sult on. My wants to rub it in on ‘tacky men,’ @ calls them, and she’ welcomes me with: smile and gays: ‘Why, Governor, how nice you took? then I feel as I did at my Grst party when Katy dragged me into the centre of the parlor and int to eighteen other children ho sat in a ring ia eared at! me, “Well, str, we're getting around to these sort of: and may be you won't find us so far behind when you out to take that drink with me in Work’e Buir year, hoping!” THE RAIN IS ALL RIGHT Don't growl if it does rain, Rains in the earty spring @re necessary, They make bad country roads, and thus help to ereats public opinion én fevor of large appropriations for highway, improvement. If prolonged ooM rains did not rot the seeds of planted vegetables farmers might not find enough to Plain about to keep them happy. If the rains did not keep the Waseball grounds too lor practice the nine would be deprived of ite dat yeni not winning the pennant, says Was ' Gta dios Fei isanttiow thi tongwr will swe eyieees the danger of being run down by bicycle scorchers, Besides, it ill leep right on raining, no matter how yoursrowi, Also, it ts ikely-at eny time to etop raining Defore are halt through grumbling, Bo what's the use. ON THE EVENING WORLD PEDESTAL, |