The evening world. Newspaper, April 4, 1903, Page 6

CG w WORLD'S town without the consent or knowledge of the husband. It may be that on the part of Mrs. Schoonmaker the at- tachment was so blameless that she would have ridi- culed any suggestion of gulltiness, The course of events showed how easily such attentions may pass beyond control. by the Press Publishing Company, No, 83 to 6 Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OMmice at New York as Second-Class Mal) Matte DLUME 438......... .NO. 168,201. _ STREET CAR TRANSFERS. Ootsy-Wooksy Commence. itt GET Canon. WOMEN AND CIGARETTES, It is, of course, a woman's inalienable right to smoke, x but why she should wish to exercise this right passes panei We itecctisg’ notate Wine (acileel the comprehension of many masculine admirers of the Altherto been refused, the Interurban Company sex. The weed that burns the pocket, fouls the clothes , to continue the contest in the higher courts. and makes a chimney of the nose for man seems, even d it not be the part of wisdom to accept Justice in the mild gray-blue vapor of the cigarette, to soll ter’s ruling and make the best of it? ineffaceably the fair livs from which it issues, To do so would be to avoid protractod and expensive Old-fashioned prudery, perhaps. But surely if the WHgation which in the end fs almost certain to result |Ab!t of rmoking has Krown among women to the point infavorably, to the company. There would also, by where a chance for profit is seen in the establishment of _ if ungractous compliance with the Court's a smoking-room for them on Fifth avenue, It has made &@ progress that will be deplored by pereons not strait- ecres, be the moral guin of a point conceded to popu-|jaced in their opinions. ) demand. Princesses smoke, to be sure. But can a self-respect- ‘The general trend of judicial rulings in cases where|!ng American girl do with impunity everything that a public princess does? Is the transient and usually make-be- has been granted privileges by a corporation lleve gratification that cigarettes give a pretty emoker its own creation is to view such privileges as public| worth the loss of delicacy which their use necessitates? B9SOGO-969H9HH €69O999999O9S9-HHG.9F HPP GIHEGHIOIGG9G-86- 95 FESS SSSHGSSE w SOME OF THE SAME OLD “SIGNS OF SPRING.” ‘Tights to be conceded by the corporations wherever le- a OF Sz wis ove) ‘itimately demanded. It is thus that a deferred com- THE ObkD JOKES’ HOME tt ae FEVER” ages: Genice id “pensation, smal] at best, is given the public from the OR TIRBO:. FEELING. 47 N'RES et) holdere of public franchises procured originally as a mm ‘free gift or for a trifling return ridiculously out of pro- y V yldd Z} @ransfers are refused between the Third avenue rall- and the lines of the Metropolitan Traction Com- TEACHER — If “Portion to the value of the franchiee so cheaply acquired. ee) you had three ap- / pany. Yet in the case of the Third avenue road, char- ‘tered in the days of stage coaches, the rate of payment ples “and! | gave agreed upon for the valuable franchise and still continu- you two, what ing was less per year per car than a car now earns in a day. The Metropolitan lines, if the published state- ent for 1900 is correct, earned in that year more than { e monn would you have? STUDENT— in $8,000,000, of which the city received only $290,000 in Crampel YM yp ply SPRING= = HY ' Would it be an act of injustice to exact for the pub- Mc from corporations that have fattened on cheap fran- the small return of transfers? Even if the roads N TIME IN = POMPTON, n. OTH another of our renovated and made-over off jokes above. Space does not permit our printing a ‘before’ as well as an “after” treatment picture. But you can imagine this sturdy jest ae a decrepit guest when ft first ar- rived at the Old Jokes’ Homo. ; Badges, The handsome badges of the Society for the Pre-| vention of Cruelty to Humor can still be obtained by sending a Satine stamp to Prof. Josh M. A. Long. Following are the old jokes taken into custody yesterda: THE PARK ROW CRUSH. by Jerry Sullivan and other vigilant and efficient omosra of The usual sentimental considerations do not avail oo Lae Cc. Be and brought to the Old Jokes' Home by tho ‘against the proposed cutting off of a small slice of City| Yt” blue ambulance and Joe-Milier, the good old chestnut, | 4 Park to widen Park Row. ‘The park will not there-| aring sour duty ny enem Mave vou a badge? Are you! j be rendered less ornamental, while there will be a Ipmates Received Yesterday. ‘Fery great gain in usefulness for the fifteen-foot strip A Bunch from Bayonne, : it ie added to the etreet. Lprartlaa ae é S The vast tide of pedestrians and vehicles which| \irs, Green see hoarh $ < ‘ 5 S = = & I. I und 41 Ing cheaper. : = = rges through Park Row to the Bridge and the ele-| str. Green-—Not that I am sen? rg ( A d station in the afternoon rush hours is congested| Mrs. Green—Yes; see the sign on the druggist's window: ‘the danger point. Probably nowhere else in the world | “H*rhound drops five cents. 80 dense @ mass of moving humanity to be found. Tt was bad enough ten years ago, and every office bulld- P ‘ing that has since gone up below Frankfort street has ~ Mhade it worse. The limits af safety were long ago Passed. Merely to move with the crowd involves dis- — comfort. To cross the street at any point from the Post-| ‘So I hear you have a niece and are an uncle, Freddy." ce to the Bridge is on undertaking the perils of] “No baby's a girl and I'm an aunt.” are not exaggerate In the statement that it Aras be a very real risk of life and limb. Lapeer Four wise wil) pan throumhs tf Jookjam, Gon't net fn, Mk atrip from the perk making posstile a new alde- r. P.—Then she's all right; you don't know her. Poe the western side of the Row or the extension OFFICER FRANKLAND, Bayonne, N. J. i existing one would provide an appreciable relief, a “though it would fall far short of putting an end to the Pret: Jeab M.A: Lens) thereby to be put to large additional expense this oreed concession to the public could not be regarded) unfair. Actually, as the practical workings of the transfer system show, it would result in increased business. , THE REGULAR SPRING RUMOR on THE SQUIRES RETURN HAS ARRIVED. “Don't let your dog bite ma” “He won't bite, ma'am.” “But he's showing his teeth.’’ “It you had as good teeth as he has you'd be showing them too.'’ THE GITyY HALL PARK BENCHES ARE ALL SCCUPIED, Please put these in the hibernating ward: Why ts a policeman like a rainbow? Because he always appears after the storm is over, MISSISSIPPI BOAT RACES. Why is the Fourth of July like oysters? True realism in the Mississippi boat race proposed| Because you can't enjoy them without crackers, Why did the chicken cross the street? Sir Thomas Lipton and approved by Mark Twain a8! Pecause there was a susptolous-looking nigser on the other : a the idol reagan Fair will demand, | stde. CLARENCE GOOSBERRY, 8. P. C. H. a “nigger sq on the ety valve.” = ‘Then there should be bar'ls of resin and Innit casty | Mavled In trom Hackensack, the glowing furnaces, while smoke of inky black- Here are @ few conundrums: #8 pours out of the tall smokestacks, And up in the/ If a man cannot learn by experience, why is he like a “Cabin planters, with bags of gold, the strings of which} laurel? Because he !s an evergreen. y cut with bowle knives, play for high stakes, plan-| , WhY !s a boothlack I!ke @ clever schoolmaster? Because | g he polishes the understandings, if the game grows warm, and out on the guards! why is a welfish friend lke the letter “p"? Because, innies pick the banjo and there is music on the ala In a six-day race the excitement has time to OPEN TROLLEYS FRE RUNNING though he is the first in pity, he is the last in help. Why js an umbrella high church? Because it always keops lent. What is always behind time? The back of a watch. MISS ANNID KEMPTON, Hackensack, N. J. » Buch a race would be a most characteristic exhibit ~ f American life of befo' the war times, That life 1s 90 ly gone that grown men known of it only bY| poe sean Pigngeing Ont of a Jersey Saloon, a af baling the mreate, aaron site Ne Solel HAVE ||| < went\into’e maloon abO called Cor lageriand porter; “Ihe Wek Mae old Cage. Leathers in the pilot. walter brought me a lager. 1 asked him, “What ts the ma nd perhaps Mark Twain with him getting his Mean Nee Dara T+ ia aula Da pecter. was eeabion whiff rning cotton up the epeaking tubo, the a ‘ vTe LBY, "s inevitable hazing of the new pilot, the realism) —__ No, 31 Brunswick ptreet, Jersey City. | @¢¢eoeosoeosso50~ it vividly recall the old days. losion aren srzlonsn c+ Ore ot the end of tae reel Some of the Best “BEEN IN QE HOUSE ALt ORS ey ras = WENT Ry by P- Geelzr pVS AGAIN wiTH WE MOST WEL pene FHT YER wuz DBAD! oe SIGN OF SPRING, Now the shad and organ-grinder give their annual reminder That winter's past; and “signs of spring” once more come flocking out. For the Bock is gayly bocking and the spring coat we're un-hocking, And the sandwich man feels sap stir in the boards he lugs about. OOo A DOVBLE LOVE CHA.SE.—By F. H. Stweet. day on the Missiesip’,” says Mr. Hay’s hero, and it came in fire or a bursting boiler, Jokes of the Day. The Story of a Mountain Maid a nd a Society Woman. .) J to git work, You all needn' bother bout) seconds, then @ank down doubifully i SUBURBAN POSSIBILITIES. ONE THING SURE. the [no extra stoppin’ on my ‘oount."’ upon the chasr, and goon after turned to \ President Baldwin promises thirty miles of Long] “Do you belleve Gernany is in earnest ais. Curved away from the station, | ‘"Well,"" doubtfully, ‘this money wai|the window. A rugged, pine~wooded thd within three-quarters of an hour as a result of| about respecting the Monroe’ doctrine?” Mie the car window the |take you as ¢ar as Ridgeboro, thirty|slope was sweeping by and on st were i River el’and the uptown station, This ia|. “l don't know. If sho im’t she's go- | tew peer of Hog Back, with the|mfles. That is considerable of a place,| smell clearings and cabins, and tiue East tunn ing to be."—Chicago Record-Gerald. : ‘ed cabins in their little clear-| But suppose we go into the next car,/@moke losing iteelf in the clo more interesting than “fifteen minutes to Har- nee among the pines. High up toward| You have evidently made a mistake,|!t wae not her slope and oabins and ‘That wea from Herk's chimney and he| “My brother ts enjoying his cigar ana|{t Was wild and good to look upon.| 1 oan't," shortly. ‘Was cooking his dinner, Then the girl's! will not be back for an hour or 60,” shoulders straightened suddenly and| spoke up the women, suddenly. ‘Lat her gaze left the window. the girl have the chair, conductor, 1|t# bosom of her dress and draw out him, juet living for yourself?" uo The woman in the next chair had|am glad to have her occupy it.” @ small tintype such as were made by are some who will ever prefer the city lamp- RESOURCES, drawn her skirt @ little closer when| The conductor looked from her to the @ the country tree, but those who observe that the| Archie—Well, it's raining, and you| ‘2° “Sure alipped past and dropped into | girl undecidedly, then slipped the coins woman at firet saw without observing; dle Pang Bre en more 8 amats piece gan't take Miss Delle Kitt out Ariving. | aw the ewoet, wistful ence ip ts ir) 4 to her neighbor. aut eo " e in the dept: gir) turned to her *. Wt -recourse for the man of modest salary is the coun- nom wil 7s eae Hae ecarncent you} 9f the big sunbonnet, her fngere ree| “How's he mean extra?’ she inquired, caus oe iat spcaetion, but not, Lotere — think I’m eo hard up that I hayen't @| /@%ed and the folds of the skin fel!| "I never ast no price, an’ I give him |4)° oem ot! ee Peas. ey ti ‘Mr. Baldwin can redeem his promise he will de-|rainy-day girlt—Chicago Tribune. back into tuelr former graceful curves, | ™Y mon aha (team a ne Coly ‘When | Oy ‘Well of his fellow-men, At that moment the conductor entered, | ‘Perhaps he thought you might not | {i2.7on aw Kel fostantly checked, —_ He came stright to the girl, for she| Want to give any more than was neces- je swung her oheis back again, A WIFE'S FRIEND. “Don't you miss the early morning noise and bustle of the city?’’ ‘Well, when I miss the 7.08 train 1 do.""—Pidiadelphia Press. f of ground to it anf the feeling of independence ite possession insures. To realize this ambition forgetting the existence of ferries will be a boon, re NEVER GOES AMI88. A woman never hits what she aims at unless she throws a kiss.—Gomerville Journal. find cher- ” wharply, was the only passenger who had taken|#4fy.” the woman suggested. ‘'Passen-|"..\) ” the trafn from the mountain statics | ®eré have to pay extra for using the ‘dy dear,” she sali, and there was type of man who makes love to another man’s 1 you quarreled?" compromises her good name we have an excel- — out @ handful of small coins. ‘Then th. ‘O—oh!" The girl half rose, ‘Don't s ONLY THE TRUTH. woman noticed that she aes tn meer’ | ve reckon he took hit out o my 9) THe Air! started, her eye opening bimeelf. ON, i how'd ye know?" 4 in hard dri: | that the long lashes were wet wi No, I don't think he did, But it} 29! ® map about town, physically prepossessing pedir yea ia tears thet were being ee ree ae doesn't mater, The chair le mine.” ‘Oh, women have # way of dovin- FS ‘i began,| ‘The sumbonnet was pushed back the surface the inferiority of character|her I spent it in cherries.” Where tot" asked the conductor, | 22m Want Bobo 0 tne suddenly. the eee were shining “Get out! Where can ‘Then without waiting for a reply, as hia| Yeh thew out and . ‘him to become an embessler rather than gi H rT tatio breath which ended ” y “Sit down, my dear,” she smiled|® long, esl wi pie Harm's 700 made & mistake, my ; “you are my guest, you|!n & eb, "He's the best man on the . ‘best workin’. the girl Lsteesly; ‘tthe man outside eald bg ly al A maeeely vosias Ll for me to get in quick. Here's yo'| « As the stopped beside her obair she held | chairs in this car,” 4n odd little catch tn her voice, “have le in Percival Covert, who i mi i fn ae (i 5 killed Mrs. Schoon. ‘tg your wits accused you of spend-| bonnet were large and tiful, nna] conte? wide, ‘Y-yes,” she hesitated, ‘but well dressed, most attractive externally. Yes," replied Rounder, “but I told | back. But the girl wes standing now. "I ing such things, perhaps. Is he nice?’ clothes. eye ewopt down the coumedy clad fig-|‘uched her on the arm. ‘Oiinet Sorts nicer’ The aut duew ' 2 pleasantly “1 reckon hit's ail right,” know. If I ahould go up to your| Whole mount'n, the strongest an’ “Ot oo'ne; but'*— cially if she i# a ittle in the wrong. Love means so much more to her, and e Pree Syne cite a aewlug cue TWO MISSES. the ridge, and above aii the other cabins, | And, anyway, the chair you are in has|#moke, and presently her gaze came|—and {t te so easy for one's life to be becaus: seems 7 % |, [8 tiny wreath of blue smoke curled over 2 A ¥ this car| back mistily into the car, The woman] ruined, You must go back and make It ‘wage earners of moderate incomes to exchange a Fe Aving in the country now, ent’ the trees and lost tteelf in the (ihr Depap lege) eRe, Sas ae at Was gazing out at dhe slope, also, for| wp with Herk, press fiat for a detached house in the suburbs with a| “Yes: : ‘Then in the reflection on the window] ‘would you Ike to go through alt slags she saw the girl's hand go to| your life without seeing or hearing from “But I wouldn't,” with sudden alarm cheap, wandering photographers. The . “Herk's plumb eure to the seat; but an the girl turned and she| into Ma pocket and walked away, The | ‘Be? Feallsing what she was doing she} ane half rose as the train began to Ne ee cians tain uuddenty turned her chair so @8 to] sarken speed, her face flushing. -"Hit's HOW CHOPIN COMPOSED HIS “FUNERAL MARCH.” As Told by Ziem, in Whose Studio the Scene Occurred. ATE one summer's afternoon Chopin and I eat talking in my studio. I spoke of music and he of painting. Strange, ts it not? Artiste are very fond of exchanging views in this way. In one corner of the roum stood a plano and in enother the complete skeleton of a man, with e large white cloth thrown, ghostlike, about it. I noticed that now and again Chopin's gaze would wander, and, from my knowledge of the man, I Imew that bis thoughts were far away from me and his surroundings. More than that, I knew that he was composing. Presently he rose from his seat without a word, walked over to the skeleton and remove the cloth, He then carried it to the piano, and, seating himself, took the hideous object ‘upon his knees. A strange picture of Mfe and death! Then drawing the white cloth round himself and the skeleton, he leid the lat- ter's fingers over his own and begun to play. ‘There was no hesitation in the slow, measured flow of sound which he and the skeleton conjured up. As the music swelled in a louder girain I closed my eyes, for there was something weird in that picture of man and skeleton seated at the piano, with the shadows of evening deepening around them and the ever-swelling and ever-soft- ening muste filling the air with mystery. ‘And I knew I was listening to a composition which would live forever. The music ceased, and when I looked up the plano chalr was empty, and on the floor lay Chopin’s unconscious and beside h'm, smashed all to pieces, was the skeleton prised so much. The great composer had swooned, but his march wr found. PUNCH’S ODE TO JINGO. A Wail for the Big Elephant that Died on Shipboard, ROM babyhood, for one-and-twenty years Beloved by all who knew him, in the Zoo He lived (and might have died) a blameless fe On nuts and buns. But ah! 'Twas not to be. Not for his blamelessness could he escape ‘The common doom of all the “‘biggest” things— ‘The almighty dollar stretched its tentacles Across the herring-pond and roped him in, They broke his mighty heart; he would not eat. For sixty hours on end he trumpeted (Oh, Sousa, what a golden chance was here!), And wurdered sleep, till on the afternoon Of March the twelfth he died. Ob, fatal date— Just three days short of jthat pale Ides of March ‘Wher Caesar perished—A. D. IV. Id. Mart. ‘They wrapped him (doubtless) in the Stars and Striper They hoisted up a derrick and tney hove His body overboard; and all that day Six tons of Jingo floated on the deep. Butchered to make a Yankee holiday. ON THE EVENING WORLD PEDESTAL. ¥ | }