The evening world. Newspaper, April 3, 1903, Page 16

chauffeur to prison, The laxity of the law which en- ables him to go unpunished ts to be regretted. Negroes an Orators.—Last year's Harvard class day orator was n negro, and now a ‘earo has won a coveted oratori- @ by the Press Publishing Company, No. 88 to © cal prize at Yale, The distinction in each case Is all the Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Omce pore to be marvelled at bocause of the very small per- at New York as Second- Mail Matter. contage of colored representation In these colleges. With =| the negro race as with the Indian there 1s a natural aptl- ° weak i tude for oratory, the possibilities of which under culd- epics e tera NO: TB/2O0 vation ave Indicated In these triumphs True Love's Uneven Course.—The “Belle of Rivington Street’ takes polson out of pique at her sweetheart, “ PREDATORY COMPETITION.” Lyte Boe Asons the many recipes for success with which) joven the wedding day was almost at hand, and the p emment tinanclers frequently favor the public one prac-| — helle of Greenwich Vilinge” Is busy nursing the boyish i Tule seems to be <sit unincluded. It may be loose- suitor who got the worst of it In a duel over her charms. “ly stated thus: “Find out what the other fellow wants Love, which makes the world go ‘round, spins it with ‘ghd must have and get it first.” rapid revolutions in some cases. - There was an instructive example of the application ae of this maxim in the sale to Mr. Morgan by Mr. Gates! THE ObD JOKES’ HOME the Louisville and Nashville securities which Mr. 1 pan had to have to keep the road from the clutches the “‘dangérous man,” whose dominance would be BRAMBLE — 1 wouldn't go into \ Mi Ww the saloon busl- AN ; T n « AN-H-HE THIS 18 CER-TAIN-LY OE-LIGHT=FUuL I!” “Diplomacy”’ Is the Watchword of ; the Happy Home. , trous to stockholders and to Mr. Morgan's profits. Whe transaction netted the seller $7,000,000. _ here was another example of it in the success of 5 dhe land syndicate which secured options on the prop- i _ erty especially desired by the Pennsylvania for its new | terminal in Seventh and Eighth avenues. By disposing © at these options to the railroad at an inflated valuation thé syndicate made a handsome advance on its invest- By Helen Oldfield. HERE ,sre three things," saith an ancient provers, ‘which can only be managed by coaxing: a kid glove, a fire, and a man." The woman, married or single, Why, the > y 1) Reo ee her rights has a hard and bitter struggle, often é » to fail at last, while she who t thém gracefully, wi Wwhicilemworlaiie smile and a sweet ‘thank you, air,” is allowed to walk ae freely, If not invited to come again. Any married woman, gifted with even a small degree of diplomacy, may have her own way quite as much, {f not more, than is good for her, if only she be careful always to defer to her nominal lord and master and never to allow any one, himeelf least of all, to suspect that he has been able to persuade him that her way |s his own. The secret of hg power lies in a nutshell; it is the power behind the pa which never openly asserts Itself, says Helen Oldfield in the Chicago Tribune. All men hate to be ruled; indeed, no man will be tf he knows it. The henpecked husband of the humorist is almost non-existent. The woman who Is truly mistress of her house- hold never fails to set her husband upon a pedestal and to Insist that all the household shall honor him as lord and master thereof. against it. $ THORNE — Oh, 3 no; only one Na- tion. $ | Whether, as a third current example, Mr. James R. ‘Reene tried to force on Mr. Harriman the purchase of large block of Southern Pacific stock at a high figure “at a time when Mr. Harriman badly needed it, involves question of veracity still at issue between these dis- tinguished financial magnates. Whatever the truth of the charge, it seems clear that Mr. Keene's holdings ‘were acquired in the belief that they were necessary to _ the Harriman interest. My Methoat $ By my method I rejuvenate old jokes. No matter how old | 2 and feeble thoy are, the skill and sclence of old Doctor Lem- onosky does them good. i Here are some inmates of the Old Jokes’ home. They have been made over. Do yoy recognize them? M@ BORROWS 4 COWACYS worse AND "> _ Are there references to these processes as piracy?! + anges! If you desire to become a member of the So- costume awo races ah Standing up for one's rights against one’s husband te ‘Why call them by such a bare bodkin of « term when a clety for the Prevention of Cruelty to Humor aend a Ge s wearisome work; It la more somfortable to relinquish thealy vophem C 1 ? When Mr. two-cent stamp to Prof. Josh M. A. Long ‘for one of our R 8 ey may ad, except In rare instances, by asking phiraso will serve as welll fandionis bedpad ik given you eo reabanV cid bless aia Leavy, for them as a favor to be granted for love's sake. er, to crush and ruin rival of] companies, gave to undereell them in all their markets until they beg for mercy, the proceeding was not called as it might have been, but “predatory compe- ‘Why not use this phrase for all transactions Gates-Land-Syndicate-Keene kind? the time the mind has translated the word “pred- into the idea of piracy conveyed by it half the} visitor (to sexton digging grave in ch ard)—Who's of the term is dissipated, and the feeling grows} dead? jon—O1d ‘Thornback. Sexton (without looking up)—No complaint; everybody eatisfed.—TH-Bits. put them in the busy blue ambulance. TRAIN Wait) — aos RS Deference to ther husband is the drop of of! which keeps Ne the wheels of the domestic machine running smoothly; if she Is clever enough to turn those wheels in the way im whicn she would have them go, while to all intents and 4 purposes she is acting under his direction, so much the bet- ter, perhaps, for all concerned, There is much {n mental suggestion. J Take tt for granted that a man will do a certain thing because it is the proper course, and in nine times out of tent he does {t. The tactful person drops suggestions and leaves them to take root and bear fruit, just es the husbandman * sows his seed upon fertile ground. “A word fitly spoken, how good it ts!"* ‘There is a time to keep silence and a time to speak,” and even though “a soft answer turneth away wrath,” there are seasons when no answer is better, when the only fitting! coin of conversation !s the gold of silence. To argue with an angry man Is worse than folly, “Where no word is, there the fire goeth out,” and he must be contentious, indeed, who can quarrel with none to answer him again, When « man is hunary and tired, perhaps worrled, ang 80 Inclined to be cross, {s not a favorable time for any re- quest, however reasonable. The wise woman who {s versed: In the ways of man will bide her time, will see that he has , a well-oooked dinner, and good coffee, and when he has been further soothed by his cigar into good humor with ‘himself, and all the world, will broach the subject upon which she Pret, Jooh M.A. Bengt desires this approval. Smiles are more effective than tears Bice ase top! foxes ite lthe Suey ius later ince: SHES >» to open a man's heart; gentle persuasion avails more thai of steel, but that thelr bullders| An ecenr come out om the agelandlenidineiwasion Gutery, y j : /) Teproaches. Tt fe the sunshine and dew which tring fort eurvival of the lightning and the| and almost starved, and the curtain came down with a roll. | ¢ 4g > D the follage on the trees, the soft south breeze which unlocks by these ancient boats sufficiently) I saw a tin half-doller on the sidewalk and would not pick | { yy ; b Eve hee upon ve tee are: comstruotore builded better than they;| "ym 0° © Ovusemen wet toile to ete tor ae ne bad THE UMBRELLA NUISANCE. He Blossoms Forth This Month in Virnleut Form. VERYBODY has seen him, ‘for he is a familiar figure on all the principal streets and ‘¢ multitudinous tn numder —the man who holds his folded umbrella by .he handle so that ¢t is inclined backward at an angle of 45 degrees, and swings it as he walks. This position of the weapon brings the ferule exactly on @ Ine with the shins of the person behind the wielder, and ff there be no intimate and painful contact between them it may be attributed to the nimble dodging of the owner of the shins rather than to the fault of the owner of the umbrella, Ifa man will carry an umbrella when i is not raining why does he not use it as a walking stick, or hold tt by his ¢ide im ‘an upright position? What eight bas he to turn so useful an instrument into @ weapon, every stab of which threatens to inflict a painful wound? ; ‘ [ And yet !f you remonstrate with him, there are ten chances to one that he will be seriously offended at your presumption, says the Detroit Free Press, Tt Is said they do things quite differently abroad, particue larly in the large cities of the continent. If a man so far forgets hiinself—and others—as to carry hie umbrella In that way over there, you have a perfect conven+” tonal right to call him to order, and he politely responds by thanking you for cailing his attention to his breach of good’ form. Caught in England. \, Si0e-TaAae, Among the old jokes that escaped from the Home one stormy night last February is the following. It has been Jooated in England, where {t 4s working in tho English comio papers, We have wired our London Branch to take {t into custody and hold for extradition papers: » 8TATEN ISLAND'S FERRY-BOATS. Mayor Low’s plan for the improvement of the Staten Bland ferry service contemplates the building of six pew boats and the sale of those that for forty years or “More have carried commuters to and trom the city. It is to be expected that many residents of the Islend mill grieve at that part of the programme which calle tie the retirement of the old boats. It 16 ever thus with Inmates Received Yesterday: From New Roche! Prof. Josh M. A Long: Please put this joke in your Ol Jokes’ Home: Teacher—Johnny, spell needle, Johnny—N-e-1-4-l-, ‘Teacher—Wrong; needle has no *t"' in ft. Johnny~—Well, *tain"t ¢ good needle, then. MARGARET RYAN, New Rochelle. From Long Island. the old Staten Islander eco| EEE Welcome to the Old Jokes’) Home, 77 Prot. Josh M. A. Long: ‘Why ts a beehive like a bad potato? of delight, and they bore safe) Because « bechive is a bee holder and a beholder ts a spec- firet stages of their bridal tator and a specked tater ts @ bad potato. are now What did the cat say when Noah's Ark stranded after the fm loud acclaim when the young| °itarat heme? oo we. 8 An Old Dead One. Prof, Jouh M. A. Long: Customer—How’s your business? Undertaker—My business is (ead. OFFICER BINGS, 8. P. C. H. aa Here we have a demonstration of the joys of relaxation, at 3 And the sweet repose that’s found upon the bucking bronco’s back; ‘While the correspondents tenuous describe the progress strenuous, SA And a soothing silence lingers in the merry rifle-crack. | jmp who had been millionaires in the morning. Is not the Staten Islander likely to recall these mem~- these proud products of the shipyard? = HOW TO BUILD A “SANTOS-DUMONT AIRSHIP.” ‘ 4 Size ts very deceiving when an object FORTUNE'S WHIMS. 1s at a distance, It often takes @ recond or even a third look to prove that the " & Vassar girl joins the Salvation Army, a school- kite Santos Dumont No, 10 {s not a “sure f@n’am inheriting half a million indicates her preference Meee Spauen ae, maven can be seen in ¢ diagram > remain « teacher, a Connecticut double millionaire ae eee ane works es @ day laborer. How does it happen, Maecenas, long stick, running horizontally through _ that no one remains content with the fortune that the the centre of the kite, and three shorter * gods give him? sticks, which cross the long one at right f angles. The curved edge of the kite is 2 Are other instances desired? There is the New York made by fastening elther thin, light wire @oclety girl of wealth and position seeking to become or strips of rattan over the framework. _ & Dlaywright, there is the young millionaire working in the slums, end in other times there was Charles James Worx taking more interest in his pigs than in Parlla- The framework can be covered with elther paper or paper muslin, I would @ivnt.end Theodoric preferring his garden to his Rcman fmperial palace. MRS. DOOLEY THIS TIME. Chiries H. Smith, of Massschusctte, who inherited $2,000,000 thirty’ years ago, and has wince worked as a farm band and hoarded hie money,! has recently become engaged to be married ¢o Mrs. Timothy Dooley, andl has surprised those who know him by buying @ plano, a rubbervtin® buggy and various other articles.—News Despatch. ; We all know Mr. Dooley, ’ ‘Whose philosophy so truly Holds Pretense up to laughter and to scorn. Dut now comes Mrs. Dooley, ‘ Whose fascinations duly aS not advise paper muslin unless the kite is at least four feet across, says the Bos- ton Globe, ‘The framework of the car, on which ts “Fortune's whim seems particularly unsatisfactory in printed Santos Dumont No. 10, ts made , Turn a miger into spendthrift lover-torn, bis ap Paliee rion Goncactiont ‘day. laborer ( of three sticks—ahe long stick D and the ‘Thet attractions strongly potent H ‘ape ay » What two short sticks B and ¥. Strings are! jiquely into @ small gquare block, as|D, to propeller from May in widows’ weeds be so pent sine @f amount of joy his inheritance of $2,000,000 would run between the ends of the sticks E| show off. The 6 é ‘That to res! hopeless, we all know; e _ hh@ve given any one of thousands of \mpecunious young ' fen whose hraitat by night 1s the Tenderloin region! wy What an “angel” its possessor could have become to |) @emic-opera queens! What possfhilities In it of equine - inners! What limitless vistas of four-In-hands and / @ountry places and clothes! The blacksmith’s helper so favored by fortune should to Ws opportunities. and F, and the framework 1s covered) I¢ the kite is very sma'l, ordinary paper| .. 2" amen But to this one sure the palm is with paper lke the framework of e@n| pinwheels can be used for propeliers,| a LO On Due, since her maternal charm is vl ¥ ordinary kite, Aine propellers aze fastened aleach 2nd ¢ agram, and the Separating poor old Smithy from his dough. + th id of ¥ of ite brother kites. it € shows one of the propellers. ‘The| of stick D. Round off the J Hi blades of the propellers are made trom | (Pe)! ic D, as shown by the figure Gi /If there is wind enough t tly @ kite there thin wood, The Diades are fitted ob-! amall Wig through ihe eh of the wick | era mploning, eee (® Kee? the repel! ©~THROWING THE BRIDAL SHOE, © ES Ti es eae ae 5 ‘The custom of throwing the slipper at bridal couples ort Letters, Queries, Answers. Some of the Be st faite, iia cn teeter Keer Tis tenod iste bee back than that, says the Pittsburg Dispatch. Here are Marriage License. of, They are in salt water meadow J f D examples. Tn many different countries the staple wedding To the Editor of The Evening World: lands and tide creeks, as Long Island, okes Q the aye Tei pe meee pt erent Pap b AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. Iy a marriage license required in New| The beautiful epring ponds do not treed cording to @ law in Hamburg, enacted in 1201, ane eh York, Pennsylvania or Jersey? J. W. | mosquitoes. ‘They come from the salt groom was bound to present the bride with . <A Mst is printed of deaths caused by public automo- narriage Moense is required in Penn-| mud flat CHAS. BRADFORD. | ,, FOR CHOICE, most played the part of our engagement ri ° ee . Piles in New York by which it appears that within less It is only required for non- ‘The American Horse. HOW will you have your emes| were, evidence of betrothal. : x four years in tla city nineteen persons have been 4 i To the BMltor of The Evening Warld: cooked?" asked the waiter, ‘Make any! Among the axons of Tratreyrrania It is etil! the custom " @ifference in the cost?” inquired the Were there horses in this country at unl the bridegroom, carly in the morning of the wedding dey, ve 8, BE syiapobile Gabe and deli ry wagon| ne To the Kalter of The fve the time Columbus firet landed here? | sok Tors with ete ‘etice them, ig | send thie intended a pair of shoes; and an ancient trmsrd fhis showing does not possess the sensational in- Please inform the writer as If not, at what time were they brought |he, greatly ielived.—Kaneas City Jour-| enjoins upon the girl that she must treasure these shoes of the fatal Zborowsk! accldent or of that by the Fairs lost their lives. But it is of far greater proper way for women to sign thelr names in personal letters, Should they always write the word Miss" or ‘Mrs."" here? A. iH. if whe wants to be kindly treated by her husband, for he wile: Mt is euppowed thet the first horses in A NEW STATE, hot begin to beat her till they are worn out, In Greece, wheat oh this country were brought there by]! “Say, what is the capital of Omnibus, | the maiden has conoluded the leave-taking with her » because it points to an increasing sare before their own names, and should} Cortes in his conquest of Mexico, The| anyway?” in her father's house, the “best man" puts on her feet In the operation of these vehicles which is not i f married Women use own initials Or! wid porses Of the West are said to “Capital of what?" boots, the gift of the bridegroom. Then the dealt with by the law. C7 their husbands when writing thelr! have been descendants of those, “Ot this Omnibus State ¢hey're tryin’ | starts for the church, but before entering it the i a8 nae there &} an automobile there \« th tneer Ne Pn es A Time Query. fe pass © Dill about.”—Philadelphia | mother asks the maiden three times: “Bride, hast uke time,” and 4: to Cz this mac the danger ; \‘ietters, “In euch letters married | To the Kéiter of Tee M@vening World: NOT REDUCED TO THAT. shoes?" > It it 1 Pp. M. in New York, what In many places the shoes are given to the relatives: hould sin thelr own initials, bustends’, time is It in @an Francisco and in Lon- lies. In streets where children are pluy- Sympathetic Listener—In those not to the bri Among eome!of the Amerioan ‘Th are frequently careless to the verge of dreary, enolate martes, Dash, i sup | tribes the braves, on visiting their Intended before Intormation About” Mosquitoes, dont? LB. Vv. pose you grew even of you ‘To the Editor of The Evening World: At San Franciaco it would be 10 A. Reiurned ic Explorer — Heavens, | Pace shoes on her feet (moccasins), Among the East fay that the Tas 5 What rot~all this talk ebout mos-|mr, wt London it would be 6.05.9 P, M. RB ae 'e lenty of pemmiena the young couple are attended to thelr bedroom by vo es is pay hendipebly att Oh, children, standing here you see quitoes breeding in frewh ponds! Natural Commander-in-Ohiet, enee! ‘Teil comenny Font he beleele me Your worthy Gover—nor, history denies these statements. Go dO] a, the Balior of The Rreping World: A BAD START. go to has Commander-in-Chief rg be taken of it by tho . Perhaps the only living man ore, vetnmmnnnaiie Aaere five Sees | | wae te tae he maid, “i Tht i ugly heat an, “aacidont 4 Who'd dare invoke the public ban ie eee ot Meloar. Seta she nahin m8 pe eee 2