The evening world. Newspaper, March 5, 1903, Page 12

bigy-verd By. the Prees Publishing Compiny, No, 6t to 6! : Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OfMice at New York as Second-Class Mali Matter. VOLUME 48B......0...0000000006) NO. AN HOUR OF TILLMAN. 18,171. than Senator Tillman. We may feel profoundly thank- ful that he does not represent the imperial State of New Work at the national capital. + Yet in view of his energetic activity Tuesday night fim behalf of his Carolina consttuents, whereby, by the @hreat of holding up all other legislation, he secured the passage of a much-desired relief measure, we may ‘well wish that at the time he could have been New York’s representative, It was not an occasion for Web- @terian traditions. It was a free-for-all scramble for “pork,” and the offending Senator's merit {s that he ‘won. Oh, for an hour of even Tillman! For the time being this man, who has outraged every Principle of Senatorial dignity, was a man of action, fitly representing a Commonwealth and insisting on a There 1a no more objectionable man in Congress ‘ Fesognition of its rights. His misdeeds were momen- tarily condoned and his derelictions. forgotten in appre- @iation of his practical work. New York, which is long on decency in its delega- fYon but short on capacity, envies South Carolina. Bor the reason that now, after years of intelligent public effort to obtain a new Post-Office, the city finds fits hopes deferred and its expectations again ppstponed @t the ending of the session because of the incapacity ‘nd inaction of {ts representatives. It has long been a patent fact that the New York office {s rendered ineffi- cient because of its antiquated and inadequate baild- ing. The remedy was provided and was acknowledgedly @ satisfactory one—#atisfactory even to Congressmen Jealous of appropriations for districts other than their “@wn, but recognizing the !mportance to the entire ne- tion of an improved mail service in the metropolis. But the city in its confident expectations of relief Feckoried without its representatives. It counted on @ eepacity in its Lesslers and Sulzers and Goldfogies they did not possess, In its disappointment it yemembers the inability of previous Congressional dole- gations to secure legislation for the city, but finds no fn that for present shortcomings. Its disgust @ delegation that is neither ornamental nor use- ta deep-seated. AN OPPORTUNITY TO BEGIN. | While we are waiting on the Legislature and the abtorney-General for action in the matter of the Gas @buses an opportunity is afforded for initlatory by the local authorities, | It ts to be found in the specific complaint of an @ivening World correspondent signing himself “Pub- “Melty” of a low grade of gas furnished at his home in - West One Hundred and Sixth street recently, He has Glready written to Commissioner Monroe calling his attention to the violation of a city ordinance by the @ompany in providing an inferior {Muminant. It being ‘the duty of the Commissioner to see that the quality of the gas is maintained at a certain standard, here is @bviously an occasion for official inquiry. The scopes ‘ef the Commissioner's powers is limited, but they should ‘De comprehensve enough to cover this case. This investigation would serve as @ suggestive pre- Uminary to a wider and more thorough inquiry from Abany. Despatches to The Evening World reveal a @eneral interest at the State capital in the exposures of Gas Trust extortion. They Indicate a healthy re sentment of the monopolistic methods exposed, as -in Benator Dowling’s and Assemblyman Miller’s bills re- garding the submittal to a vote in New York City of the question of municipal ownership of gas and electric Nght utilities. Out of the abundant prospective legislation having fits source in The Evening World's anti-Gas Trust agi- tation much eventual good may come. Pending its @oming we may utilize the opportunity afforded for making a beginning locally. Am Investor's Opportunity.—The get-rich-quick concerns come and go, to-day exposed and to-morrow rising up @gain In full working order, They change thels names But the great game goes on with gudgeons crowding each other for admission into the tolls, Here ta a firm in Wall Gtreet with a “discretionary pool," in witch, it Is alleged, an Investor's $100 has expanded into $3,000 within three months. This is a lure out-Millering anything that Miller offered. Three thousand per cent. in three months ! Are the “suckers” ready with thelr cash for this golden ‘epportunity ? MISDIRECTED ENERGY. Incensed by a verdict of acquittal in an excise case, ® prosecution of slight importance at best, District- Attorney Jerome spent a vigorous quarter of an hour lecturing the jury on their remissness in failing to con- wict. The evidence, he pointed out, was all against the defendant, and they had neglected their duty. It was mot, that he loved the Raines law of itself, but tew is law, and a conviction should have been bronght about. ‘Which may be. But why is not less of the District- \Attorney’s valuable time spent in petty prosecutions of this nature and more in cases where @ conviction fs of real consequence to the city? Is it not true that the Tombs is worse congested mow with untried murderers and thieves and bunco men than at the beginning of Mr, Jerome's term of office? Is 4 not a fact that except for the Patrick oconvic- tion and the Hooper Young confession, now regarded Dy criminal lawyers es a shrewd avoidance of the death penalty, the District-Attorney has fought no important ‘criminal trial to @ successtul issue? ‘What has he accomplished in the tax fund swindling ) ‘@asee? What has he done for the prosecution of the p"take” insurance swindlers? What of the half-forgot- ‘ten tunnel disaster and Park avenue explosion? ' New York has a black criminal record for the past "two years, its worst blotch the unexampled number of solved murder mysteries of the Partridge régime. It ia ‘hot Improved by the delay in proceeding against the Viany criminals now in prison awaiting trial. All the that Mr. Jeronie can exhibit for their conviction 7 public applause and commendation, But the : are not wrong in regarding fits of jury-box rage canes a8 hardly worth the words wasted, "| ee i Bow-The “no-seat-no-fare” ides a» proposed Bide Citizens’ Tranak Reform Committee of ‘ We involves @ refusal to de- & station or @ demand for its for an altercation and a seem. equally good, It PSSST 29ES055 1. “Let's fill thie apple with pins 06606534508. us yesterday.” 4 HE OLD JOKES’ HOME. By Roy L. McCardell, OFFOCTIAL BADGM SOCIDTY PREVENTION OT ORUELTY TO HUMOR. ‘Those desirous of obtaining one must send name and address and inolose a two-cent stamp. Carnegie Offers Library. (By Wireless ‘Twlegrepby.) Prot. Joon M4. A. Long: Seventy carloads of 6. P. C. H. badges sent you to-day, the Homestead Mills working day and night to turn them out and laying aside all other contracts. May I present a Ubrary to the Old Jokes’ Home? ANDREW CARNEGIE. ve hoped that the euctety Joyful News! The Badges Have Comet . ‘The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Humor badges have arrived and will be ready for distr¥mutton by nightfall. DIRECTIONS FOR USING BADGES, Wear the badge fastened to the sus- pender near armhole of vest, or wear on tapel of vert hidden by coat, Never wear the badge in plain sight, as old jokes and their taskmasters will be warned and will keep in hiding, When you eee or hear an old joke creep up cawtlously until you can grab tt. Then fiash badge and say, “You to the Old Jokes’ Home!" At a theatrical performance, where You cannot get within reach of old joke or the comedian who {» working it, summon @ posse and at a signal Ist the officer of the 8. P. C. H. and his dep- utiex rise and shout tn unison: Crack! Crack! Make a FUNNY crack! Back to the Old Jokes’ Home, Back! Back! Back! ‘Then, aa n policeman hurls a night- stick at an escaping prisoner, the officar of the 8. P. C. H. and his porse must throw their badges at the offenders. New badges will be eupplied to you. Do not hesitate. ‘These froin Newark. Prof. Josh M. A. Long The following footsore and weary conundrums do respectfully apply for ddmission to the Old Jokes’ Home. Arrest This Facaped Sig! Lan@iord—Gir, 1 totend to raise your rent, ‘Tenant—I'm auch wbiiged to yeu, for 1 can't rele 4 mayonit. Kindly eee thet escape is made fmpos- sible, but keep them well guarded: (.) ‘How {ts business?’ he asiced the rag-ploker, “Oh, pioking up.” (2) “How do you feait he tnqatrea old man without any lege, an't kick," wae the reply. “Why 14 e mane nose Mice the Brooklyn Bridget “Because many « schooner passes under it," MAX B, Aw Antique Bunch. Prof, Josh M. A. Long Why was Adam the fastest runner tn the world? Because he was the first in the human race, Why is 9 young lady tke a promiesory note? Because she should be settled when she arrives at maturtty. What's the difference between trot and eggs? Truth crushed to earth will rive again; eggs will not. Why te the map of Turkey tn Burope Uke ® frying-pan? Because it has Greece at the botiom What's the difference between Noab's Ark and Joan of Arc? One was mado a needies and give tt to teacher fer lickin’ and 2. “Teacher dear, we're sorry we were bad and we've brought you @ nico apple 44 A peace offering.” 8. “And we hope it'll give you as much pleasure to eat it as it gave us to be punished.” 4 “She's gettin’ ready to eat half of it at one bite. Look out for trouble! 5, “It's ‘moat .too easy to get even with a teacher. In about haif a second things ‘ll happen." WHAT THE CUT-RATE CIGAR WAR MAY LEAD TO. 6. "Oh, teacher dear, your Oreath has all turned to pins! Your lungs must look like a pinoushion.”” MUTUAL CONFIDENCES. Lovers Should Have No Secrets from Each Other. By Helen Oldfieid. WEALTHY German woman, whose landed estate mala A her @ person of some consequence, espoused a French Count of the vielle noblesse whose fortune consisted ¢ solely in this handsome person and his engaging mannen Whatever may have been the case with the Count, the match on the bride's part was purely for love. But, alaa, for the international alliance, the bridegroom failed to ime form the bride of the fact that his hyacinthian locks vrs his only by right of purchase; and the bride, unfortunately, hadastrong aversion for baldheaded men. ‘Therefore, when, shortly after the marriage, the newly wedded husband ep peared before his fond wife looking like the clown of a oir cus, with a head as dare as a peeled onion, the Coun! betng possessed of more nerves than nerve, shrieked and fainted. Entreaties were in vain; the trate and injured wife at once instituted proceedings for divorce upon the ground of fraud, and the Judge, a German, held that the plea waa valid, Helen Oldfield in the Chicago Tribune. A case like this “should give us a pause” and set engaged couples to thinking. What and how-much must and ought one to confess before entering’ upon the holy estate of matzte mony? Shall Angelina make Edwin privy to the fact that fully @ third of the golden locks which he so admires grew upon the head of “a lady from over the Rhine” and were pald for at thelr weight in gold? Shall Edwin lay bare his own secret devices for good looks and comfort, telling Ame gelina, for instance, how much his manly figure owes to the padding of @ clever tailor? One never knows what may happen, and the noblest naw tures, who will freely forgive love for anything else fom love's sake, are frequently the last to pardon decelt, ‘They are easy to deceive, since— , “They trust, and forever, They give, and gtve all.” AB-S0-LUTE-LY FREE! apg) GENTLEMAN WHO ize MORE ONE ¥ 4A FLOR O& STIVRERINOS, io ROS GF REAL MONRm hf (j N 4 } \\ Wikk BE D ’ DEATH of met do, when the accounts have been falaified, woe unto the offender! For, indeed, he, or more espectall yehe, may geal forgivences with tears, and seek it in vain. There are all sorts and conditions of men and women, ani one sort of love differeth trom another in tind and in For one type we have Hood's famous ballad of faithless)’ Nelly Gray, who, when her sailor sweetheart returned from the wars: “Said she I loved a sailor once, For he was bold and brave, But I will never wed a man ‘With both legs in the grave.” ROW AWAY THA, OY4D PoP, ae SHMOKE WANS 7 , While for the other extreme stands the English ein whe ee ER EETY Yi, afManced lover lost a leg and an arm in a naval engagerpen®) > Uy TO Y, in which he distinguished himself for bravery. When he Tecovered, not being able to write and wishing to her and ‘himself the pain of an interview, he brother to release her from her promise to marry a of aman. ‘Tell John,” she sald in reply, “that so he has body enough left to hold his noble soul I Proud to marry him.” It fe this love of the soul, the affection of one true heart for another, which endures through storm and sunshine, through strain and etress, and which never failsl; the mam and woman who find ft, and finding hold thereto, have a @lght foretaste of heaven upon earth. DANCING FOR EXERCISE. One of the Best Forms of Physical Culture By Dr. Anderson, of Yale. BELIEVE that there is no form of physical exercise that will give quicker results In grace of movement and come trol of muscles than dancing, Dancers are always graceful, etaige dancers particularly, though they may not, perhapm. be muscular, In what we are trying to do at Yale I believe Mes @ future for physical education. We are starting im slowly, with simple movements, taking up the jig and leaps H raf it i BE FE THE ME SSENGN SMOKES Hig Some of the Jokes of the Day. SHORT AND TO THE POINT. Barber—How will you have & out, sir? Pepprey—Both short. Berber—Both? Hatr and beard? Pepprey—No; hair and conversation. Philadelphia Press. WORTH CONSIDERING, Rambo—You're always talking ebout my drinking too much apd about whis- key being bad for ma, and all that, Perhaps you don't know that the @ol- entists have found out there’ ocho} in every buman body, Baldwin—Then why can’t you be #atls. fled with what you've got? What de yOu want to keep pouring it dn ¢orh~ Chicago Tribune, A NEW HEALTH FooD, ‘The Cow—dlave you heard of this new food they are making out of chopped corn stalke? ‘The Horse—No; but they needn't try {ton me. I won't touch it The Cow—Oh, it ien't for us It's for human beings.—Chivago Tribune, HOPING FOR THE BEST, “Professor,” inquired tho thoughtful member of the class, “don't you suppose there will come a time when all the coal and all the coal oll stored away in the earth will have become exhausted?" "Certainty," gaid the instructor, ‘What will we do then?’ “We shail be playing harps, I hope." Chicago Tribune. DROPPED. Giadys—BSo you're keeping Lent? What have you given up? Myrtle~Two of my beaux, L realy didn't have any reaular evenings left 1 a I Bae) ‘will not aim to give a man epecial jes as a waltzer, but they will help the student to learn ow to make a good appearance on a stage, should he be @ public speak: and to carry himself well generalig, saye Dr. Anderson, director of Yale Upiversity eymnssiug, in the Chicago Tribune (HOME FUN FOR WINTER EVENINGS. HOW TO MAKE A BOY’S LOCKER, THE GAME OF “JOURNEYS.” ‘This 18 « capttal game tor two to pli when trevelling by train, gor all that is required is @ plece of plain paper and a Pencil for each player. Draw « big equare on the paper end Gil the inside graceful in dancing, Conpervatism of energy is one of the first requisites to ease of carringe. Juat why we are starting this novel m@hod of teaching. physical ease at Yale te perhaps not at once answered by most people. There is the aesthetic reason, It teaches ease 4nd grace, control of muscles, easy movements, and ape Droaches that conservatism of physical energy that is really: the basis of grace. Physlologically it develops the heart and lungs, juet as we eet a man to leaping and Mght rum ning to develop those organs in our regular classes, Ana- ty it develops the machinery of the body, gives spring the instep, gives pilability to the knee, ankle and of the lege. Then it has a utilitarian regutt,, man ease of carriage in society, and allows him public with the géod carriage that te so eioply being tinged into the opening: ‘The door ts amade of strips of board, with two cleats scrogs the back, to which strips are nafied. {The locker, when completed, {s qupported against the wall by @ pair of etout brackets, to be had at the hardware store, where A place to put everything must pre-|Knobs for the drawers and a amoh for cade the putting of evensthiie in ite the closet door cam also be obtained for & few cents. ince, How can a boy be expected to ee be onde nl © piace, \ Wie th eee 8, ne come bince.| TRAVELER'S ALPHABET GAME. let) od ake tae ta and tis fish-| The players mit in & row and the first ing lines, Fo say nothing of bat a hun-| Deine by saying: “% am going on a ‘dred other things dear to his heart, can| Journey to Athens’ (or any place be- be safely stored? One of the good things| Sinning with A), ‘The one sitting next about this locker ta the fact that the|.44ks, “What will you do there?” ‘The says the| Verbs, adjectives and nouna used in the reply must alt begin with A, as “amuse, ‘The locker here #hown calle for sev-| Alling, authors with anecdotes eral ages of boxes, It will be well to| If the player answers correctly it is get the buxes together before meking| the next player's turn; he says, perhaps, the framework of boards that is to hold] am gotng to Bradford." “What to do them, then plans can be made acoord,|theret’ "To bring back bread and Ing to the ales that are at hand, It will] butter,” A sbind pays: "I am gding ‘be noted that al) the boxes must be of] to Constantingple." “Winet to do there?” the rame else from front to “To carry eoptented ” im the out four ot who pa | ane without tot srt pierss bow pa er to travel in the sane a Fneye Bre quite easy, y¥ be crossed e task raped fowl: CIRCULAR PUZZLE, man of “color,” te now obsolete, except as an house sign. That is “blackamoor, ‘and pages—were common in London tn thé househeMe the most fashionable people. Early in the eighteenth ost), tury the bust of @ blackamoor was largely employed by, tobacconists as @ eign, and tt stil! survives here and there, | ‘The blackamoor then divided the honor of unelng tobacce shop with the red Indian attired tn boy himself can make ft, Worthington Star, (SCY ANY, AYANANVD VAY AV AWAY, \SZSZT sa ie var ite