The evening world. Newspaper, March 2, 1903, Page 10

-Piiblienea by the Press Publishing Company, No. 83 to © Park Row, New York. Entered at #10 Post-omce at New York as Second-Class Mail Maiter. ORPOLUME 48..........0606.0...NO. 18,168. NEEDED GAS LEGISLATION. Tt is evident that any effective legislation to restrain) Gas Trust in its encroachments on the rights of con- Thust be directed to the abrogation of the exist- _ A first step must be the repeal of the provision in the} which ties the hands of the officials charged with tly as he may think best’"—provided that it is not One frequently enough to accomplish any good. ‘He ts empowered to fine the company—but only after| poof of three successive violations of the law, and then to the modest amount of $100. He is given authority to fit up a gas-inspecting labora- provided that he can persuade the Board of Esti- te allow him an appropriation for the purpose, h he cannot. lain justice to the public demands the removal of absurd restrictions and the substitution therefor provision granting the Commissioner authority to ed against the offending companies whenever the — otreu nees warrant it and to do so without fear or r favor and with a direct view to the consumers’ interests. ‘Thus, the Commissioner should be empowered to test es whenever complaints sufficient in number are with him, and he should be authorized to make tests as often and as unexpectedly as desired. He id be vested with powers akin to those of the Bank ner, which would enable him to pry into the inner of gas manufacture and to make a minute of its mechanical methods. This 1s demanded if there is truth in the charge that companies have Leen accustomed to force air into »mains. The “thinning” process, as it is called, is al- to be in use among all dishonest companies; if so, & practice to which a speedy end should be put. Provision should also be made for giving the con- gamer exact information about the state of ‘his meter. enever the meter Is inspected’ memorandum of the Teading of the dial should be furnished him with which \May compare the figures of previous readings. > )A regular procedure should be established for the set- t of bills in dispute and the customer given some se against the company's threat to turn off his gas ‘to declare his deposit forfeited if payment is re- tomers should legally be made that of the customers of business concerns—a condition the gas consumer r been far from realizing. THE DANGER UNCHANGED. } Much wns said after the Newark trolley disaster about one’s criminal negligence in failing to provide a il” switch at the Clifton avenue crossing. Such a ution, it was pointed out, would have prevented the lent by the interposition of a substitute accident of seriousness—that is, the car skidding down hill on "the icy rails could have ‘been thrown from the track and Dpset and its passengers badly jolted, but at least the tin 1g horror would have been averted. This is a gt tion of the “derail,” the mute but vigilant guardian ® ‘of dangerous crossings. 35" ‘Well, in the ten days that ‘have since elapsed it has bias [i hidtppenea three tines that a trolley car not under control \vhas forced its way by the gates on to the Lackawanna "> tracks at this or at some other similar grade crossing. In ©) one of these dangerous situations the motorman, think- © 4ng quickly in an emergency, made a hairbreadth escape from collision with a train by putting on full power and , dashing out of danger. ‘Where was the “derail?” Does it take more than a “week to install one? It seems that now that the horse is Pi stolen they have not even taken the trouble to lock the “Pern door. Instead there is a foolish ordinance by the } ‘k Board of Works requiring Lackawanna trains to ‘etop at all trolley crossings. » It is not necessary to overlook what responsibility ofthis road had in the disaster to regard this proposed holding up of its fast trains and the resulting incon- yyenience to thousands of commuters as lawmaking as Wbjectionable as it is silly. CERTIFICATES FOR NURSES, <p A very meritorious legislative bill introduced by Sen- ia Elsberg and Assemblyman Armstrong provides for . the State registration of nurses and the issuance to them, at the end of a satisfactory course of instruction in a en school, of regents’ certificates serving as di- "Dimas. It is a dill which, in Dr, Janeway's words, bh i enable the physician to distinguish between com- it members of the profession and simple, kindly not fitted to assume responsibility.” At present a nurse who has spent a fow weeks in a hospital and provided herself with a uniform is! ly on a par with one of genuine hospital exper!-| and of real competence. The two years’ training ; Which the bill in question makes obligatory before quall- ‘Aeation for a certificate will end this injustice to the} @ deserving nurses and raise membership in their profession to a single high standard, | ‘Pan many diseases at present treated, {n typhoid par-| 4 y, careful nursing is of almost as vital importance patient's welfare as medical attendance, The ad- e obvious, THE OLD MAID, Van Yorst and Mr, Rovert J. Buraette are at rarding the importance to the world of old maids, 4 ‘8 contention that we could not do without much to commend it to acceptance, bi the mothers of twelve children do their duty ty and deserve the letters they may get from ‘The spinster, in a more limited sphere, re- on her sex. Hers is frequently a ripened ias been impossible to her sister because of bilities, and a maturity of charm with- we that is most attractive, Milliner and r her young, She has tow wr Ing laws permitting the abuses complained of and to the ° @hactment of statutes to prevent their repetition, \~ ner is directed to “inspect the illuminating gas as} \ $ 1-An! There comes Maudie, THE OLD JOKES’ Arrest This Fecaped Inmate on Sight. Why does @ hen lay an ome? Because eho can't lay a ¢orner-stone, ‘who have been inmates of the Home since Its Inception take advantage of op- portunities to escape, We notity all members of the Soclety for the Prevention of Cruetty to Humor to apprehend the old Jokes whose pic- tures are given below and bring them back to ‘the Old Jokes’ Home, Wober & Fi Release an O14 Ser. vitor. ‘Prof, Jods M. A. Long: Feeling that in your dnetitution better care could be taken of @ faithful old Joke that formerly worked for ug in vaudeville, but of recent years we have penetoned and kept secluded, we here- by send it to the Old Jokes’ Home, per qmbutance. Very truly, WEBER. & FIBUDS. THE WEBERFIELDS’ PHNSIONER. “I hear your father ¢s dead. What was the complaint?” “There was no comptaint. Every body was satiated.” Asks for Incineration. Prot, Jou M6. A. Long: Please take these jokes into the ome and instruct the nurse to ive them careful treatment, as they wre on tire verge of collapse. If they should not more: A man named Little was walking down out of a house, He followed them. What time of the day does this repre: sent? Anewer—A Little after two, Two people meet on the street. One says; ‘You are my son, but I'm not your father." Who was it? Answer—His mother, A man comes from Germany. Wihat ts he? . Answer—A German. If he comes from France what ts he? Anuwer—A. Frendhman. If he comes from Ireland what is he? Anawer—A policeman two days after he lands, GORGE M. GRANT, No, 6% Temth avenue. A Danch from Dayonne. Prof. Josh M. A. Long: ‘Why is @ chicken on @ fence like « penny! Because its head ts on one side and {ts tail on the other. What is the difference between a well Gressed lady and a butcher? The lady dresses to kill and the butcher kills to dress There was a fight up in the baker shop to-day, What was it about? Two atale buns got fresh B, DWYER. Meanwhile Good Werk Goes On, ‘Thanks are due the following frienis of the Home for sending tn good old Jokes that have been long at large with- out vistble means of support, Several of a more uniform efficiency in nurses thus be-|of them being 100 old 40 work “con- tinuously’ any more: George W. Day; Kl Parker, of 667 East One Hundred and Fitty-first street; Edna Reid Dutt No, 25 West 'Ninet Jehth street: A. LL, M., No, 19 Logan wtreet, Brooklyn. D. Clark, no address; Prank A, Smith, Firthciiff, N. ¥.; J. Theodore Munphy, No. 114 Mast One Hundred and Seventh |tHundred and Blevtnth etree; George Valletie, No. a1 Clark atreet; Bam Kerr, N 40 West Twenty-elghth street, and many others. For the Lethal Ohi Prof, Jom M.A. Lang of the antediiuvian Irishman who mis- took the anchor for a pick, the antl- |somehurst commuter. ‘Theee three un- a She es the bal- | fortunates might appropriately be con- \ jgned to the lethal chamber of the i la gee at once. ». J. DALY, s aes ue Pepe Apitery, Yor, Hamilton, STAD] F ¢ ny a assault Oe 1 step HERE is one flaw én our aystem of | « kindly restraint. It és that jokes| survive kindly have them cremated so! they will be done away with forever) % the street. ‘He saw two ladles coming! % billed pine heathen street; B,J, Pellkan, No, 5 Weet One | Sorghum, "One of the most helpful in- | cident» of my career was @ contract to put in # town clock while 1 Was a mem-= ber of the Board of Aldermen.” —Wash- 1 respectfully apply for the adminsion | wood-mawing tramp and the sentie Lone. THE WORLD: MONDAY EVENING, MARCH 2, 1903. ©6909-0600 9664524989915959OO6 1 O944054854004-504.9960408 64901400400006 6 : ARDENT ALGY PLANS A SURPRISE---BUT THE SURPRISE IS ALL HIS. TET =- EVENING OOD 2O2OO044 90004 q SSSA DHIG-0O0GO0496800O00.080:-6-08 ltere she comes! I would know her step in a thousand, DOC SELTZER VISITS THE AQUARIUM. 2—When she passes I'll rush out and @ around the corner of the fence, and— — embrace her. ©OGS 90099006 08000E 50990608 4 Hello! Maudie, dear! ODIPDDHDODVODS GAS THATS.THE FUNNIEST FISH 1 EVER SAW. Some of the Best Jokes of the Day. USELESS TRANSFER. Conductor (to desected-looking man a he finds a strap)—I can't take this trans- fer. Defected-Looking Man—-Why not? Conductor—Because its too old, Its punched for 10.9, and here it ts 3 o'clock. Dojected-Looking Man—I know. l've been waiting for the car—Chicago ee ord-Herald, NOT HIS FAULT, Captious Person—How can you recon: clle such @ Ung with your conscience? You contribute to the missionary cause, and yet you sell idols to the heathen! Philadelphia Manufacturer—They are dolls. I can't help It, can I, if Ake Idols of them ?--Phil adelphia Prosi HIS OWN EXPERIENCE, Remember,” said tae man who takes a solemn view of Ife, "that ume ts money,” ‘Thats right.’ answered Senator ington Star ECCENTRICITIES, Gunner—I see they bedecked a goat with ribbons and roses at Newport, Guyer—Who did? , Gunner—Tho cream of #oclety’, Guyer—H'm! then 1 suppose the goat was the “butler of eociety,”—Chicago Nowa, Auk some one to give you three %-cent Lay two of them down, aay & Now for the trick, which ts really not a trick, but merell a test of one’s wdliity says the Pally nd to set the third] he thinks It ought) Inside distance quarter down whore same as the outelde distance ehough to do, but your v i when you show how far from correct thelr meas- PUZZLE IN NUMBERS, ‘The dog that's stafiding in this gate Weigos twenty pounds and half his own " iiow-much bat is to figrure out Will cause you trouble, T have me doubt, Pir? can the world mever/come te an CONUNDRUMS, Wiat Is the difference between Joan of Aro and Noah's ark? One was made of gopher wood, the other was Mald of | Orteans, What is the difference between a ohicken with one wing and one with two? A difference of (a) o-pinion, | What is the greatest thing to take \oefore winging? Breath, Why {8 Cupid a poor marksman? He 1s always making Mrs. (misses Why do most girls like ribbons? They think the beaux becoming. What gic) eighi have killed Dewey at Manila? Dinah might (dynamite). Why 1s @ lacksmith’s apron like an unpopular girl? It keeps the sparke off, Why ian't the moon rich? Beciuse 1t spends its quarters getting full, Why are girls good post-office clerks? Because Uiey understand managing te malls. What animals are admitted to the opera? Walte kids, When is @ girt like a mirror? When she is & good-looking (4) lass. What ds a button? A small event that is always coming off. When is @ schoolmaster like a man with one eye? When he has a vacancy for a pupil In wintt key should a declaration of fove bw inade? Be mine ah! (B minor.) y 18 @ sheet of postage stamps Hi dintant relatives? Because thoy are only aligbuy eonnected: ‘ dt round, 4 lighted candle cfntre of a table and two players are on each side of the table. and then blindfolded, turned round uhree times and told to blow out the candle—¥y they can, THE POTATO RACE PROBLEM, Jacky and Jason ran @ potato Each one had owenty-five pota- tows to pick up, says the Philadelphia potatoes were { intervals of five feet in three How many potato How many feet from po- to potato ‘No, I¢ every potato in each row had to be carried cicar back to the head o that row and laid down with the first potato, how many feet a to run pefore he got through? | PUN 36 feet in ype minute, hove ee FF fee PH9ODEDHEDEGHIDSEDEDISOH9HHHHDOESHHGHHIHOSD ©O0O40O6H000H08 TR ne 2 MSY HTD99Y9 BBO PH OFPOM OO9OSSOOD ARE HUSBANDS A DETRIMENT 2? Do They Debar Women from Careers? By Harriet Hubbard Ayer. IN 3 girl who is earning a good salary and ts, ae YOU 4 A frankly says, ambitious to get on, and unwilling to give up her business career, asks if 1 think a husbart in her case will be a handicap. “Do you think," she eays nalvely, “that I stand as good a chance to do my best work and get to the top of my profession, married as single.” To tell you the truth, my dear girl, 1 don’t think a mere husband would stand in your way long. For it Is evided that you care more for getting on in your business than for boing the wife of any man. Such being the case, I should be truly sorry for the mam ‘to play second fiddle with a vengeance— and frem the very beginning, too. Anytiing that diverts you or distracts your attention from your work will Impede your progress. But what do you want with a husband if you care more for your business future than for a home and @ man's love and protection? % ‘There are many happy married men and women who are both money-earners, but they haye as a goal the establish- ment of a home, where finally the wife ts to rest and her husband is to have the double pleasure of hiz own domestio happiness and his wife's release from the routine and drudg- ery of work. When a man and women work for a united aim—whon, after a long day of honest toil, they meet as lovers ‘to enjoy the confidence and happiness of each other's companigns! the husvand is no handicap. His love and sympathy are the reward and compensation to the wife for the many petty tyrannies and annoyances of the daily wage-earner's Ife. But you are quite self-suMcing—you do not in the least need a man to protect you or comfort you. You have not even time to speak of love as a factor in your proposed mare riage. You are entirely absorbed in your personal outlook, It seems to me you should give the other side of the question a little thought. What about the man you are discussing as husband ent handicap. A husband hag a right to some Kittle considera- tion, and his happiness or misery are of importance to him df to’ no one else. What sort of a wife can a girl make who cold~bloodedly, Alegusses her future husband as a possible nuisance while she 1s supposed to be at the most romantic period of het acquaintance with him? ‘The woman who thinks her husband may prove @ detr+ ment to her would better stay single. Husbands are easier to escape altogether than to suppres once acquired ‘ Of course, there are husbands and husbands. Some of them like to work for their wives, and are never so happy as when they turn over their week's salary to the small hands that are often such surprisingly active money spenders. There are others who dearly love to see thelr wives work. ‘They are, in fact, so unselfish that they are more am- pitious to see thelr wives succeed in life than they are to work themselves. Such a husband would best sult you if you feel that you ought to have a husband at all, Seriously, I do not think married women with home duttes and home tles can be as successful in business a8 women whe, are thoroughly independent. ‘A business woman cannot be a good or thorough house keeper. It fs frequently sald of well-known writers or professtonal women that they are the most exosllent housekeepers. But I know, and so must many other women who have been both housekeeper and bread-earner, that a conscientious business woman must concentrate her working day on hee work, whatever it may be. If you take elght or nine hours out of a housekeeper’s day: each day of her life how can you expect her to compete witi’ the woman who has nothing to divert her thoughts ¢rom ‘her home and her family, and who has all her time for her @elfw imposed tasks of loving thought and provision for her hues” band and children? A business woman is in a hurry in the mornings before she leaves home. Sho is tired and nerve-frazzied usually when ber day’e work is done, How can she keep the domestic maohinery running smoothly if she 1s never at the engine? T have sa!d a good many tlmes before marriage ts enty Justifiatie when love sanctifies it. You are not in love,, Tf you were you would never have mentioned husbands and handicaps In the same sentence, Your own future Is what you love beat, ‘Therefore, you will be happler and one man will he saved much misery if you remain single. tug RRA AAA AAA AAA A An a, } A MISSISSIPPI PACKET. f T wish I could make {t plain how wonderful @ belt aveamboat, She has a romance clinging to her onan soken and the blood of the thoroughbred in her veins, Into ber eo the engines of dead-and-gone riv: Weet-oned bells, padntin: ) Lits of bric-a-trwe—of fas mous steamers of the past. Cabins, worthy because of beauty or stanchness, descend from generation to generas tion, Her mame oftentimes stands for wife, dnughter, olde time sweetheart, Mfe-long friend, writes Willis Gibeon tm January Scribner's, / Nobly #he does her work, a rule the packet st travela at least 25,000 miles in a year. nding, she pends: float smmothly into a deep-water slip as does the ocean Mner; she has to grind through sand, stumble over rocks, buffet agalnat banks and wharves, In time of storm she does sot have miles of apace in which to manoeuvre; she be cooped up at the wind's mercy, with nine-tenths of her bulk above water, In a channel sometimes not wide enough to turn About in, Her powers of resistance are remarkable, When I Ukened to A ghost that St Loula packet which I first boarded at st, Paul, there was more than mere fancy in the words, ‘Thus far tn hor lifetime she had been once wreoked In @ cycione, once sunk by a drawbridge, once sunk upow a ‘that t nocident losing almost her entire Leteee had vilovety"woundbt fe, bt it had nt ul ‘ Oe ee ARC et ENS sr oy ae, spall iy ob cea | x ’ ‘ » es © ts