The evening world. Newspaper, February 7, 1903, Page 8

fublivhed by the Preas Publishing Company, No. 83 to ") Park Row, New York Entered at the Poat-OMce at New York as Second-Class Mali Matter. PRO VOWUME 48.0... cccccee NO, 18,148. ye © “AGCIDENTS AND DANGER SIGNALS, fi | Mestitying before the Coroner's jury with regard to | Hie precautions taken to avert the Westfeld wreck min Despatcher Meaney said: “If we can’t stop trains th red aienale we're out of business,” ‘And that tonst also be the public's point of view, d without the slightest disposition to excuse the d from any responsibility it may have had for the called it, with a cracked steam chest from which was escaping in blinding clouds, this responsibi!- of the railroad is brought very closely home. * ° * ‘If it is not beyond the jury's province an inquiry the number of accidents that have happened on the Dentral during the past ten years would prove valuable. numerous were they as compared with those on ap trackage on other roads and how serious and © did the fault lie? ‘The statistics are probably urable at the State capital. They would be of very timely interest in connection “ith the published report of railway accidents in Great “Britain showing that while not a passenger was killed in 1901 249 were killed in the United States. Our ines are nine times as long. But on the other hand the ‘British carry twice as many passengers. ‘This showing for safety by the British roads is a wonderful thing. It indicates that American railway | Managers have much to learn in the matter of caring ) for passengers. It cannot be alleged that our trains are 7 then theirs, for they are not. We have the ad- of superior rolling stock and their signal system is not now better than ours. What is the cause of the | greater fatality here? Does it lie in the American dis- "OF n to “take chances?” Taking chances has done 4 for American progress—when the risk resulted | But Wisker was taking chances when he ran past the ‘ved light in the Park avenue tunnel, and Davis when The feft his throttle to repair the broken injector. If Davis was not at his post when he passed the danger the question of the exact amount of steam escap- from the cracked chest is one of relative {mportance it , The train despatoher’s proposition must be said “ptill to hold that if a road cannot contro] sts trains by ‘danger signals it is “out of business.” “AN OPPORTUNITY FOR MILLIONAIRES. Just at the moment when John D. Rockefeller was ying @ $500,000 stte for his Institute of Medical Re- ch, which is to cost as much more, @ doctor was say- ing at the New York Academy of Medicine: "If another Amertcan philanthropist like Rockefeller would gome along and instead of giving seven millions for education “would spend that sum in buying and raving the old-fashioned > death-traps of tenements all over the olty and erect in thetr d model tenementhouses mhare fresh alr and sunlight & get in he would do the world a greatcr good. And as 2 business venture, regardless of its philan- ropic aspect, would not such an investment pay? It is the general underst.nding that the Mills Hotels een financially successful. They have provided nly and comfortable quarters, wholly admirable from sanitary point of view, at an insignificant rental. In “Downing street in a made-over tenement-house ‘not fit human beings to live in” a correspondent found a dow and children in contracted surroundings for "i h they paid $8 a month. This was about as much as two clean rooms at a lis Hotel rented by the week woul have cost them. “At rentals equally high a plain, clean tenement of mod- ‘#Fn construction with provision for Mght and air and )) full sanitary facilities could readily be made to return © “@ fair interest on the investment. > A few rich landlords thus disposed could do a vast good in the way of practical charity by the erection of such tenements. It is not too much to eay that the gain in Bir, light and improved sanitary features would remove _ the occasion for saving many of the young lives with ty subsequent ill-health Mr. Rockefeller’s new medi- tute is designed to deal. ‘Marshall and other reversionary tenement-house bills. | SKYSCRAPERS AND AIR CURRENTS. "If the tall Flatiron Building is to be held responsible ‘for an alleged malign influence on the air currents not ‘only will the courts be called on to settle new points of ww but architects will be confronted by very serious ‘Problems in aerostatics. For example, if the smashing of plate-glass windows fn adjoining structures can be charged against the of- “fending building, and if {t can be shown to be the inspir- * Sng cause of the death of boys carried off their feet by the gale in its proximity, every time the wind blows to “New York it may become lable for damages. In the : windiest city of the western hemisphere this contingency ‘must be regarded as ost alarming. Modern skyscraper architecture has been obliged to take cognizance of many new conditions of aerial con- struction, but it has so far paid no heed to afr currents ‘or aerostatics generally. The sole concern has been to Build strong enough to withstand a blast. " But where a tall building shuts off a summer breeze # claim of damages lie as for a similar exclusion of Or where it protects another building against the 4 an oe * BEEF AND—"’ IN LONDON, London is represented as in terror at the proposed {n- ‘troduction of American ‘“quick-lunch” counters. It js feared that ‘beet and—" and “coffee and sinkers” will “ruin the British digestion and undermine the national ith. Perhaps this new Yankee notion will prove to be a rather than a curse, Is it not a well-established that national progress increases proportionately national dyspepsia? Five of sland’s greatest i were dyspeptics—Carlyle, Huxle Darwin! Robert British midday meal of soup, joint, vegetables !os (emorr to give way to the cruller and the glass of ‘9 Ke must pot be regarded as wholly for thi ter, if the engine was “the bum engine” the driver, | ‘And incidentally {t would offset the evil work of the| can it claim compensation for the service) |THE OLD | JOKES’ HOME, rave the indulgence of our riends in their enthusiasm, e wolng ont tn the highwaya and byways and catching every Jok |they meet with, plnioning it and sending jit to the Old Jokes’ Home Somo Jokes #ent us have been young, strong and sturdy with many days of | uestulness before them. Some have [been of doubtful character, who would have contaminated the good old jokes we are providing for The friends of the Old Jokes’ Homa are warned to go slowly. Be sure th joke Is old and deserving before y send 1 In, We must also beg that our friends do NOt overexert themselves. Be brief in your commitment papers. Never send us more than one old Joke at a time. Some well-meaning friends send in as high hundred cases a day. Our faoilities EH ample under ordinary clrcum- ances, are strained ‘to the utmost owing to certain friends of the Home exerting themselves too muoh In this regard. We cali your attention to the follow- ing Instance of seven good old jokes being committed in @ batch. These were such deserving old fellows + we could not refuse them admittance. But hereatter, please do not send or bring tore than one old fellow {n at a time We Are Seven, Prot, Jomh M. A. Long Here are a few very old jokes: 1.—What kind of a hen faye the long- est? Answer—A dead hen. 2.—Why fe tick of candy like @ race- horse? Answer—The more you lick it the faster ft goer. 3.—Why does a donkey eat a thistle? Answer—Because he's an ass. 4.—Wihen ts a door not a door? wwer—When it's ajar (a jar), 5.—Why do olf maids always I!ke to look at the moon? \Answer—Recause there's a man in it. 6.—Wimt's the best match in the world? Answer—A love match. 7.1What {s that which runs across the floor, yet has no legs? Answer—Water. Hoping to de the winner of your 65, 1 Temaln yours respectfully. DAVID GLASGOW BROWN, ‘No. 68 Beach atreat, New York City. A Podigrerd Joke. Peet. Josh M.A. Long Please look up the pedigree of thie ap- piicant: There were three young Irishmen standing on a. corner of @ street when an old Irishman came along. ‘The young fellows started to ehout “Rats, rats!” He turned around to see what was @o- ing on, but seeing nothing continued on his way, when the young men gtarted calling again: ‘Rats, rate! ‘The old Trishmen turned around and said to them: “Catch them, you terriers; catoh them!’ GDORGH LAZAR, Patterson, N. Y. Wants Mother-in-Law Put Away. Prot, Josh M. A, Le Poor “mother-in-law” turn Tt seems to me since Adam's day; If age and use @ home can earn, For goodness sake put her away. c, A, KRAMDR, Baychestar, N. ¥. Another on Adam, Prof, Jouh M. «A. who. aAn- hes stood the As you have no oatacomb in whioh to inter this old fellow, he ought to ocoupy one of the e dowed teds in the Old Jokes’ Home. He is surely older than “Adam and xpress company" joke, for he must been petrified centuries before Evo died of “apple-plexy.” “Who in the first man mentioned tn the Bibi “Chay, 1 FANNIB FATRVIBW, Staten Island. A Sad Affair, Prof. Josh M. A. Long: A joke appeared at the New York Prees Club Minstrel Show last Friday evening which deserves to have a room to itself In your proposed home for de- crepit jokes. “Why was the death of Joan of Arc preferable to taat of Charles I, of Eng- Jana?” The answer being; “Joan of Arc be- cause a hot steak is better than a cold chop." ‘This has about |t the odor of sanctity and combines great age with orthodoxy, I respectfully invoke for It your especial consideration GBORGE HARRISON M'ADAM, a Five of the Best | Jokes of the Day. | THE USUAL SEQUEL, | The girl who has dreamt for ten long years of a Bir Galahad Montmorency who should beat her away to his moated caste on a black charger gener |any winds up by marrying @ fellon named Jones.—Pilisbalg Dispatoh HIS FINISH, ! stubh Wha war the cause of poor | Tanker's downfall? |r | Penn--He took ihe atright route. Siubb-'The astvalahe ° Pean—Yeu, the whiskey-miraight route, Chicago News | COULON’T FILL THE ORDER, Have you a full line of f akea Sa who; of a haberdasher yesterdas | / We nave everything In that 1 ning and De Quincey. American pie, one of the, ‘All right; hand mea long felc want constituent parts of the “quick lunch,” gave us the! !ladelphia Inquirer onian philosophy and the electric Iight. No doubt AS USUAL, id be shown to be the fuspiration of much that js) “Ms Ao sou bh * fey ee pently American in our progress in other ines, | )0\"* "tenet Baked the chaunr) ue which the Chamber of Commerce is to evevt Oh, | suppose youl) have your usual! late Abram Hewitt bad its origin in dyspepsia oi” replied Ie wile, Dewey had waited for breakfast would he have won ye BRAT , #0 handily? If Morgan had made his Juncheon f Yonkers Statesman Went in the day's work rather than an incident ONE-SIDED he be the financial magnate he is? Rockefeller's; Jcekins There's Perkins—you kno ad milk, Jay Gould's baked apples and sand-| Perkins’~enlered into an agreem uoed resulis in inverse ratio to the amount of will nix wif on after thelr nar lage eating them. twenly years ago that wheneve . monmed the other was alince. And the scheme worked? Ar Admirabiy. P has kepi | silence for wwonly yours, site | ein at uch parallels the wouth: (cence, a light that proves fatal to many} You are not worth an answer” TNHSIn BOON. plone op rence | Pomme. aie: anewgh to know. better Graham did not tell the Professor | Jor her beauty and her wealth, RE was during the last week of Mif8) about this, but paid bis bill and went In her ten sons of society she) Penrhyn'e stay that the professor pro-| pack to the olty that evening, had nee No Mate, whom che octit | vosed In form. Ite had Myited her ito} It 4» not belleved that George Tre- love. She had deen wooed ardentis, but! Si, 2MAl. Stuy parlor In which NO) vanton would have asked ‘her to marry had remained ‘ce. one ever gat and there he went dows! him jf his mis 'y had not forced him he men at the Summer|UPO" Ws thin knees, She did not ask |to speak He told ner that he was not aa her [him to rise or offer to assist He] good enough,for her; that It wae not rasmus Mote. professor of politica | went gallantly through a tong statement] meant for such ax he to win and wear Jeconomy in a Htale university: & alight, (2: aemection and he ran out of/so bright a jewel; that he would not nervous mau, with evegiasses and «| "Orde % and sald; have spoken at all bul that he wantsd veceialaotane ri 1 shall never marry, Professor. U] her to know that he loved her very aear- and had a |odmire your gifts and thing: you are a]1y and would always love her, no maiter {Rood man, bul van go no further.| whether she became another's wile or Noy the eubject matter is qu hope nol an, # isan #, believe me. Please consider the? 1 am onty a nisin man," sal! poor fellow enough, somewhat mdject cloned. George ‘and thy Ver expected that nauhfisl, who never had thought ¢ ‘There was no getting around that.| yo ould e for me. ba nas gaining the pri and effaced by ‘The Professor in anu burst of fam, love you wilh my whole heart at worshioped from afte mAdenve told ttt Phe 2 gloomily lawyer chuckled and sald: "You oug She was tender and compassionate Maude Mayne De Lay, poet and writer |! have come to me first, old man; 1} with him. She gave him ver nad aad }for ie maga In long hale, Van-|eould have told you bettor told him that she ¢ ek titra analy Jdyke ont bialled owt, with al He wag next, Jt happened down dy} and any woman ousat to be ,roud to be | ve olur. Who spoiled much. ¢ the edge of the ta where a great {his wife. “You wil dnd some one netier | pa nditing Vorsoe and made ‘Con. | hemlock had falley and made a vou-! sulted to you and whe will care for hance,” “glance. | ¥ Brat, f through gitdly | yo foo addad, oT know Jrnough, then, not walting for an a I shall pray that you x inanimously dubbed quiescence of which he had no doubt, | we tears in her gray eyes, ii mortally offensive to three | slipped an arm about her waist. Sly Clauce Mayne De Lay debated long older rivals, This was a jwrenched herself free, leaped to her] ytih himself, He had Mite douvi of the mult Youth of twenty-three, feet and turned on bim a@ face of hot} result ,but wanted todo the thing prope rom college, with the football! indignation, Not trusting herself tolorty and in, keeping with his character haly of the past season out close, a tan |epeak, she walked toward the house.|is a poet and rising man of letters, PEPHDD OOD ILTDODZG SS IDHH OSHS 99909090. 3 3 DABBASRORSDIDTDOAE aoe ree aoe * * 3 “¥ > i 4 “Let me see,” mused the young « , Jack—Her father positively re- } wife as she picked up the cook: » fuses to give me her hand in mar- book, have mixed the batter riage. i for the angel cake—now what do od : Tom—That's tough, What are | do next?” Giles—That fellow Borem re- Byou going to do about It? Jac Snothi Bair. ooted eee a AT THE CLUB PRBRONIZE THE GAMBLING HOUSES LAST RESORT. k—Oh, | suppose there Is ng left mow but to ask the who overhear he PEROELED DOG I ES 9OHO4-4.8 69O$9G.68 GOING Home WITH WIS TIDS “Telephone for the doctor,” an- swered ot BOOY DS et LOO I4 O94 & SAY, 77S BETTER THAN A PERLICE OR vusT Now!s b MAKES SO MUCH MONEY, HE SPENDS IT RECKLESSLY SEEN Berw. AT UPPER ca THIS TO ray LIGHT eon ST 232 ST. Old New York is forced to waken to the faot it was mistaken— Messenger boys it thought so slow are really very fast; And in merry dissipations and luxurious libations The happy fleeting hours of his snailic Iffe are passed. POSITIVELY BRUTAL. COMPARISON, minds me of a mosquito. Miles—How's that? | His isn't very dangerous, ul the heartless husband, happened ei > 27 Bw! BAF Womans KioDIN! TAKES THE LADIES % TS THE THEATRES © AA DIRLEBAAGEDDEEROLOHDEOERD DEDESEROEEDOESSOOS 946.8 THE LUXURIOUS LIFE OF THE MESSENGER BOY. Miss Morot Says They Are a Wicked Lot. OY HREN? HERR YS RECKLESS WASTE, Jim—What's de matter, Mickey? 7 Yer look downhearted. candy spend it tuk ore and she made m Mickey—Yer talk about yer lo cal trusts! Tutetut! cents id | me goil in | at once. 2994 0999O64946-00930 1 had three DISCUSSION ON BOWEN’S DIPLOMACY. | t T looks like our friend Bowen had overplayed i himself on the ‘shirt-sleeve’ diplomacy thing,” remarked The Cigar-Store Man. “You have another look,” replied The Man Higher Up. “From what I can see of Bowen, he has the alsle seats in the second row in the orchestra, The old-time diplomacy idea has gone into the class with Confederate money when it comes to a case of doing stunts with the U. 5. A. We are the original exponents of the plan to go into the settlement of disputes with our overalls on, and we work just as hard on the fixing up of diplomatic questions as we do in the accumula- tion of monoy. “The average diplomatist from the other side fs @ trained liar. When it comes to lying we don’t hang to the rear seats unless it be necessary, but we have cul- tivated a kind of clairvoyant attribute in connection with it. We can take a clerk out of a furniture store in Schenectady and make a diplomatic agent out of him if he has got enough forehead to make a foreground for his hair, The reason why is that in this country it is a case of every man for himself and the rear guard to the bad “If you hata dispute with your wholesaler about the amount due for the alleged tobacco rolls you sell to cus- tomers it would be foolish for him to come to you and talk about something not connected with the case at all. And it would be foolish for you to try to put up 4 con spiel to him. You are hoth wise to the fact that there is a difference in your accounts, and when it comes to @ case of settlement you bring out your bovxs and he brings out his books. You call each other names for a few minutes, and suddenly it gets grafted onto one »| American intellect that his contention is wronz. There is a settlement. in about a minute, and you buth go out »|and have a drink. >| “Compared with the American, the English and Ger- man statesmen are fatheads. The average citizen of the United States is a many-sided man. He gets to the front because of his ability to overcome obstacles. The aver- age successful citizen of a foreign country is born to his position, and what he don’t know about things he has not heen taught would stack up with a load of hay. “Sir Michael Herbert may know a lot about Amer- icans he has met in England, but this is the first time he ever stacked up against an American who hes got a point |to gain. What Bowen don't know about the claims against Venezuela you couldn't distinguish with a micro- scope. The Venezuelan Republic put everything in bis hands, and when he came to Washington he went around to the White House and the Department of State and put Roosevelt and John Hay wise to the real situation. “The first deal after the cut Sir Michael tried to ring in a holdout on Bowen. I don't know whether Bowen aver played poker or not, but he knows the value of @ hand, and the way he called the bluff and raised it made Sir Michael extremely petulant. The gist of the matter is that if Bowen would stand for what Sir Michael and Baron Speck von Sternburg want it would put the cen- trol of Venezuela in the hands of England and Germany ‘for pretty close to ten years. Italy is declared in, but Italy in this game is like a man in a gambling-house playing his last I. 0. U. Germany and England have got Italy in so that the attack upon Venezuela will look like the onslaught of a crowd. “With Germany and England in charge down in Venezuela they couldn't do a thing in five years, They could take the Government and switch it around until the first thing we would know the Venezuelans would be willing to help both of them put a/case of bone twist in the Monroe Doctrine that Dr. Lorenz couldn't take out.” “Do you think Sir Michael will win out?” asked The Cigar-Store Man. “He has the centre of the stage now,” replied The Man Higher Up, “but the chorus hasn't come on yet In this production the chorus is the American people. Ap7 when this chorus sings it doesn’t sing small.” HddA_ SESH B&Y®DFHD 200, Py 2PDLD9D > (Copyrigh “N, MON and hotel 1903. by ‘Dally Story Publishing Co.) the other women in the wood- far in that laugh Jon bis clear cheeks, @ merry, healiny He ran after eves which he did maselve | eyex had in t aud adoration in his dive | facedly sot try to hide, These) Am I not to have an answer?” m the light of juvenes-| She glanced at him icily and replied an ber and asked shame-! ide proposed in verse and left the pink paper in its envelope under her napkin t. He never got an answer he understood why before he was a At hreektas day older. Pr w boyish. bad to worss pulse.” He's a nt he nad aeen stronger than she Astonishing!" Women are mere creatures of the im- e. g00d boy vphe ix older than he, but they will bé b happy Jt Wan so with her may try to explain it Aft ten seasons Co loved the Cub jstrongly than a jhave done it. ried hin nd regs peerless among men. moon-lighted, lle wandered by moonlight that night— wandered and wondered what form her Acceptance would take. his face pale and the clammy dew of agony on his brow, he bunied up ssor and ‘Trevanion and told then ‘This was it in brief: Rounding a turn in the path he saw a bit of eward centre of thie sward stood Miss Pen- vhyn and the Cub, who loomed big and ‘The Cub was talking earne: the lndy's face was half averted, her whole deliclous figure seemed droop and melt toward him in apite of | 1 In The Cub went from He drew her toward him; neat Instant she was in his arms, ap- parently content, her black hair show- anne) blazer. paid ‘Trevant Men and women or let it alone, ance Penrhyn more nd om sixteen col An hour lat ter, the And Eke My Lady's‘High Ball’ of Morristown, N. J., at a meeting of that organisa- young women of that town, and ended her arraignment with that she had lJearned upon good authority that the use ef national capital several young women were carried from waxed equally eloquent over the increasing consumption ema at these feminine lookers upon the wine cup when it te warnings, To prove this one need only cite the fact since the ‘Acoording to figures furnished to Bomford's Wine end Spirits but | 300,000 cages, and in 1902, 116,000 cases, According to the mame v9 MY LADS’ S “HOT SCOTCH By Nixola Greeley-Smith. MM’ MARY BROWNING, President of the W. C. T. Uy tion held on ‘Thursday last, denounced what sho de clared was the scandalous drinking of strong drinks by the a burst of tears, Mra. Garah Potter came to the reeuce af the over-wrought executive in @ speech in which she eald alcoholic liquors was alarmingly on the increase in exclustve cireles of Washington society and that at @ recent ball at the the room In a state of hopeless intoxication. Quite recently clergymen of Philadelphia and 6t, Louis by society women of the insidious mixed drink. And prom inent New York pastors have occasionally thundered enathe red or yellow or any old color. The public may have heard, but {t bie not heeded these 1900 the consumption of Scotch whiskey im the United States has increased by over 34,000 cases, Circular the Increas® jn the Importation of Scotch whiskey ly: | fr the United States during 190 wan 82,000 cases; in 1901, to] authority women are largely responstble for this alarming ‘To thelr growing allegiance to the soothing “het are. herself, He took her hand, She tried) sooich’ and the exhilarating “high ball’ 1t Js directly at weakly to withdraw St, but he was! tributed ‘There is no doubt that eome American women drink mere than thelr mothers’and far more than thelr grandmothers, But a fact which seems to have been ignored {s that the girl in middle Ife Is not materially affected by these Ngurem ‘The thirst which follows a vallantly contested game of en," gald the Poet] goif ig maid to have led many women into thie dangerous habit, The serving of champagne through the fashionable id the Professor. | inner after the English fashion instead of as a dessert wine may be accounted anotlier factor, But the heavy drinking {s confined to the leleure class on. | The typewriters, Lhe stenographers, the telephone girls, the girls in shops end, factories, e!) those constituting the mata van of the brave little army of employed women, are water drinkers or drink wine very occasionally. And |t would seem that while the alanming consumption of lkjuor is restricted to society seekers for stimulus to pursue lives of unnatural excitement, the Presidents @f the W. c. T. U. may restrain their tears, * uid