The evening world. Newspaper, February 6, 1903, Page 12

Published by the Press Rublishing Company, ” Park Row, New York Entered at the Post-OMce at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. 0 NEE cal ae IS VOLUME 48.........00s00ceeeee/- NO. 15,144. —— er? GOING BEHIND DOBLIN. ' The Natiopal House of Representatives apres it to its ‘@haracter for legislative integrity to reject both the | « Majority and the minority reports of the Naval Affairs | Committee in the Holland bribery charges and to ap | point a special committee to reopen the case for a full 3s @nd adequate investigation. ‘The majority report was of Itself sufficiently unsatis- factory to call for a further and more comprehensive Mnquiry becayse of its finding that while @ bribe had | been offered, all the persons on whom doubt rested were purged of suspicion except Dablin. The wholly absurd ? gonclusion of the minority report that while Doblin was guilty no actual offer of a bribe had been made render+d .@ fuller probing of the scandal obligatory. It is not enoygh to have an official certification by “the majority of the committee that Doblin committed jury. That fact was self-evident to all readers of newspaper headlines. What the public desires to know in addition is: In whose interest was the perjury committed? and Where did Doblin expect to get the $5,000 corruption fund which was the cause of the perjury? It was obvi- ously not his own money. ng The main inquiry should be directed alpng this line in en effort to effect disclosures likely to have a most ‘important bearing on the suspected use of money to in- ¢ fluence legislation at Washington. It should also seek to gain more definite information— fs About Quigg’s conversation with Lessler in the Con- gressman's office regarding the alleged tender of a bribe. About McCullagh’s cgmmunications with Lessler; and About Doblin's movements just preceding his own “Bistoric over-night change of, mind and recantgtian. ‘Who “saw” him in that brigf but important interval? ‘Who convinced him of the error of his views about bribery? There is a productive fleld of inguiry here only the surface of which was scratched by the Committée on Naval Affairs. WOMEN AT MURDER TRIALS, There is the customary “throng of we)l-dressed wo- men” at the Young trial. It is a throng necessarily somewhat. different in compggition from that which crowded the Molineux court-rapm, but it is the same in character and kind. It is drawn by gimilar. degrading motives of morbid curiosity and held there fascinated by a similar guilty interest in crime. There are seasoned rounders in the throng. There is the girl who made her debut at the Chastine Cox trigl a . Quarter of a century ago and perhaps in her girligh en- thusiasm was one of those who sent flowers to that villainous negro housebreaker and murderer. 4 mature ‘woman now with a record for court-room attendance. She may be regarded as an authority on murderers, D!d she not see all the gruesome exhibits in the Gulifen- guppe case? Did she miss a day of the Carlisle Harris +, trial? What a poison expert she must be after the ‘weeks spent in hearing the testimony of that case and /ef the Molineux and Buchanan ‘trigls! And what a knowledge of court-room procedure is hers and what “an acquaintance with judge and counsel from Cowing “down to Goff and from the pompous Howe on, It is knowledge acquired at the cost of modesty. There are pessimists who hold that the sense of shame is growing less acute in woman, Aye we to believe that it is. wholly blunted in those members of the sex who make these unfeminine exh{bitions of interest in mur- derers? Young is perhaps no worse than other murderers be- fore his time who have excited the perverted sympathy of the sex. But there are peculiarly repulsive features ‘to his crime which should lead self-respecting Women to keep aloof from the court-room where he is on trial. Their presence there is much to be deplored. It is an affront to thelr womanhood, iam ters aaa! ESN) GETTING RICH QUICK, The newest “get-rich-quick” partnership to excite the suspicion of the authorities and lead to arrests was en- titled -THE INFALLIBLE ASSURED SUCOESS WHEAT SYNDICATE. An alluring title! A pretty little Jenny Lind fly of a Phrase to wile the wary investor to part with his cash! The syndicate promised rich returns, the estimate of Drofits ‘making it possible for a $50 investment to earn : _ $200 within thirty days'’—a.modest profit of 400 per cent. y) ® month, 4,800 per cent. a year. Perhaps they would have made it an even 5,000 for an investor with enough Money to make it worth while. The gudgeons come and the gudgeons go, but the _ “get-rich-quick” game goes on forever. The pity is that it ensnares the widow and the woman of small savings, the seamstress or shopgirl who has pinched and scraped to Acquire a little capital and loses it overnight in the qguickeands of the fake investment company. Miller’s list showed how these small fortunes were engulfed in his spe@lations, “the sinall competence left by a dying husband gone from the widow's grasp at the first invitation of the unscrupu- Jous “financier,” and her life doomed to penury or de- “pendence, ‘are themselves caught in the wreck? i ALCOHOL AND THE GRIP, Much has been said of recent years about the food of alcohol. the Department of Health, is interesting, p it ia the human system! in B who takes a cockta!l as he starts for, home. ie r reign importance to that most foolish individua oS who ps down a hot aleoholic drink at such a time. piel eocktail opens the pores, the hot drink keo, i iw vo Ki that of tke There were many cases of And on that same list were the names of bank cash- fers; what chance is there for an inexperienced woman THE WORLD: FRIDAY, EVENING. F FEBRUARY 6, 1903. iin Suslck shana At rib = A SE Ee EN IN ee | $066-0006.00000044 oo 3S99S-9-0% | PIOPODOPSOIDIOOGOOHIS EGS Mrs. Newlywed—George, I'm going to bake our own bread. I found this @ recipe in my old scrap-book. o 994940005O04000000608068.8 THE OLD JOKES’ HOME. of the founders of the OM Jokes’ Home has reacted upon the mall- clous detractors, who deem our purpo 1s to collect all the good, old gags to- gether and then put them out of thelr misery. The letters of encouragement] « and commendation outnumber the at- tacks a hundred to one. Our Intentions Are Humane! They are as follows: 1. To prepare a home for good old Jokes, to which they may retire from the toll and {urmoll of workaday life. 2, To trat them with that respect that should. always be accorded oli age. | 3. To refuge shelter all old jokes, pro. viding good character is.proved, with- out regard to creed, color or previous condition of servitudp, It being under- stood that th color clause does not in- clude off-color Jokes. 4. We will pay a prize of five dollars for the most deserving case sent to our home of jokes evfeebled by ,o:d age and constant service, Applicants Admitted To-Day. Prof. Josh M. A. Long: Please give a home for this joke: “T have three brothers, two of them Is living and one {s mar THING 87 Yimrod street, Brooklyn. Prof. Josh M. A. Long: The other day lee cruel attack upon the purpose mine, Here ft 1s: “Why Is New York like an electric ‘ell? “Because it has a battery.” He advised me to send it to your old jokes’ home. EDWARD J. DURTNALL. Prof. Josh M. A. Long: In your Home for Old Jokes please reserve a place for Yours truly, LONDON PUNCH, Prof. Josh M. A, Long: Here is an old Joke that some people think sHould retire from public Ii “Gay, Pat, did you hear that O'Ryan was dead? Pat—I aid not, Mike—He was an old man, he died at 103, * Pat—Dhat's nothing, I know a man who died at 193 Fourth avenue. J, D. AVERICH, Prof, Joos Of, A. Long: ‘Please admit this inebriated old Joke to the alcoholic ward: “I saw you coming out of a saloon to- day.” “Well, time; besides, follow has to come out some- the fellow wanted to sweep up.” Yours l0derly, HEINTE. Prof. Josh M, A, Gong: While call- ing on a young lady frien’ the ¢amily used to call me the light of the house; the father came home one night and put the light out, and the mother sald, as I was leaving, “When you come qcros sthe river again to sce us, drop If you always want to have a clgar- etto eat a cigar, and you will always have a cigar eat ‘A young lady wishes to state for the benfit of the public that found a gold watch, Her name was Helen (unt, (he loser can have the watch by going to ‘Helen Hunt, “Is your mother Hving stil?" “First time I ever knaw she drank 6 hard.” On atrip acros sthe Atlantic, mother- er but coal, It's the first instance that I knew that you had to take your own Mgond In by M. P, NHORNTON, Bend In by P STON, Stapleton, 6, ‘I. A Bad Dream Prof, Josh M. A. Long ‘After reading about “A Home for Old Jokes” in The Evening World" lust night, “I dreamed a dream in the MORE OF T ee 1 Introduced this joke to @ friend of} @ ® ERPS IISTEIOOSES © b$00009-008-4+ oO@ Five of the Best Jokes of the Day. through the telephone, intlaw was taken seriously {i and| ‘Col. Digmunn," sai dthe owner of the died. Gave her a watery grave. Could] yolos, “you know you proposed mar- not find any other dallance for a sink! ag6 eo me last evening?” you Mstening?" phone exchange. une, Mrs. Newlywed—George loves home- made bread so much. Mrs. Newlywed — Doesn't . {t ‘ook nice? Mr. Newlywed—Just like mother used to make. blew off. Mrs. Newlywed—Mercy! ‘Wonder what caused it. MARRIED MEN TELL WHY THEY DONNED THE YOKE.. Replies Obtained from Victims by a Postal-Card Canvass. te Ore ————* SOS OOMOMEIEE 5: 56DG6OSODEEIEODIELESEDIOIELSESSOMOO NMG NDDE DDD 49066. 90O0ESE084200980$8000955966000OO0HH00000588 6660240000008 HE JOYS AND SORROWS OF MR. AND MRS. NEWLYWED. The door Mr: Newlywed — Bread raised so much it forced the door off. It’s as light as a feather. Ought to be good. Mr. Newlywed—I just cut @ slice off, my dear; it’s hollow. Outsof=Door Proposals, And Why They’re All Right. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. 'N Syracuse yesterday a policeman arrested Peter Kelson, ¢ | reputable merchant of that town, for proposing to hi sweetheart on the etreet. The enterprising conservator of pyblic morals was wetoh fully patrolling his beat when he overheard Kelson say to tht pretty woman who accompanied him: “Well, what's the mas ter with you and me getting married right off?’ He straight Way arrested the young man and the girl and carried thed before his police captain on a charge of ‘maintaining an ob struction on the public thoroughfare by making love.” “He must have been drunk to do such a thing,” declared the patrolman to his chief. “When I ask a lady to marry a I always go to her house.” ‘The Captain hesitated over the knotty problem, but told the young couple to go their way,, thus saving from @ fame as unenvious as that attained several month ago by the septuagenarian Judge Schalk, of Newark, whi fined a man and a girl $10 apiece for love-making in publia, It is only when our cherished institutions are th: that we fully realize their value. Among these, who that. walked at dusk through any of our city parks, whether Cem tral, Bryant, Crotona, Claremont, Mount Morris, Mornings®ii or Bronx, will not number the al fresco proposal among when not only every bench, but every available rock is by lovers whose sighs float as lightly on their surcharged @@ mosphere as the lotus petals on thelr sparkling fountains? The street-corner proposal, though less frequent than thel occurring where the birds sing love on every tree, has many advantages not possessed by the romantic form of cou: The girl who recaives the offer of her lover's hand and as she Is waiting to board a Sixth avenue car, with the broad midday sun showing up every freckle and accent every irregularity of feature, and with perhaps an addi smear of soft coal dust on her tip-tilted nose, may be quit sure that she owes her sentimental triumph entirely to del own charms of mind and person. ‘There is no glamor of tht ballroom, no lure of half-lights and languorous music to mak« her fear that colors seen by candle light will not look ¢hi game by day. The consolation of the commonplace surroundings exy Shared, of course, by the proposal over telegraph or tele phone, though these permit the imagination to play around 9000003 use Sarah told me that five other young men had proposed to her.’ o4 % Becavee | had more money than | knew what todo with, Now | have more to do than | have money with."=0, D, lave exhausted al! the figures In the arith: metic to figure out an a b Became “one with the privilege of paying board for two, 99O0G0 OOO 90 909$-09G00SH909 a | HOME FUN FO The Trick Of the Spirit Slate. RING ON—TO STAY. It was a resolute voloe that spoke "Yes, Miss Quickstep," “Well, I accept. * * © Central, are "Yes," replied the girl at the tele- “That's all, Ring off.""—Chioago Trib- SAID TOO MUCH. Fea. {There are lots and lots of reasons why men at times and seasons Why they shassay to the altar, and then wish they'd tried the halter, Or just get married ‘cause they find they've nothing else to do. R WINTER EVENINGS. | COGN d\ Fie TY, the unseen charmer, end eo perhaps add an unreal value & her. } “When I ask a lady to marry me," sald the uniformed oem sor of Syracuse, “'] always go to her house.’* Evidently this Chesterfield of bluecoats is of the opinios formulated by Lord Beaconsfield, that a precedent embalgpl a principle. In certain exalted circles frequented only by tht jady novelist and her charmed circle of readers (and surely our Syracuse authority must be numbered among these) man must only propose in the house, It would be the waved breach of etiquette for him to utter @ single sentimental syh lable before he had haled his charmer to the conservatory. Some of us, of course, do not own @ conservatory, Qui Parks, to be gure, provide even these aristocratic acct of the tender passion; but that lover would indeed be a purtal( who vould leave a comfortable and secluded bench to propest in a bower so prescribed. . It would be a grave problem tf Edwin could not propose tl Angelina save in the crowded quarters of the family flat, witd @ possible little brother peering at him from behind ever} sofa and a little eister concealed in some equally unsuspected recess taking precoclous note, ‘ All honor to the police captain whose flat overrules tia threatened new code of public morals and makes it possibly as heretofore for man to propose wherever he listeth, witheul fear of arrest for obstructing @ public thoroughfare, "Because! asked her If she'd have m ald she would, Shv's got me."-Blivins, IF CAUGHT IN A FIRE “What persons should do {f cut’ off from eacape s to shu: the door of the room in which they are and make for thi nearest window,” says Chief Swingley, of the St. Louis Win "Department. “The best way {s to crawl, There s always a space nex the floor where ‘the alr is good, Smoke always rises, | don't care if a building 4s filled with dense smoke, a window oa hg reached by crawling and keeping the ‘head close to thy loor. “"Pérsons should get on the outside of the window. Th room may be filled with fire, but it will take some time before,the fire reaches them. Persons should wait until they clothes catch on fire before jumping, It 14 almost sure deat) to jump, “Burning bulldings do not fall immediately, They are gem erally burning at least half an hour before they begin t fall. Even $f the building does begin to fall, the portio: where one !s may not fall, “Of course, when persons are placed In great danger, min ~ utes weem like hours, The engines get to fires in the major \ty of cases within a fow minutes after the alann has bees given, “Another thing that I am reminded of ts the fact of how few persons know the location of fire-alarm boxes neared BRAIN TWISTERS. A man started on a journey with a tox, @ goose and @ peck of corn. Com- ing to a river, he was puzsled. how he was to get acto he could take but one of his possessions at a time, and he could not leave the fox and goose together, for the fox would eat the goose, He could not leave the goose and corn-together, for the goose would eat the corn. How did he arrange it 80 he got them all across safely? ‘A/man had eight gallons of wine Ina keg. He wanted to divide it so as to get one-half, He had only a three-gallon to their residences, Investor where men presumably competent to advise) A brief contribution to our fund of sformation on this subject made by Registrar Guilfoy, | Dr, Guilfey says that the grip bacillus thrives ap al- 91 and becomes more virulent and deadly when fed ‘This iaformation is of especial application to the! Tt ts} for the entrance of pneumonia or the in- glorious Mf the imbiber tg wearing a fur coat the inyi-| Aged and #0 cordial that the disease rarely refuges to| b% period of alternate spring and winter last few weeks the only sate golng to bed. It is ‘neldet of my slumber,” and dreamed] Spartacus—Do you believe Yabstley’s I was passing what seemed to be an] story to the effect that he was offered old, old. church bullding. ne door | & $9,000 bribe for his vote? : opened and there came rushing out] Smartacus—I should have believed it edly, what seemed to be an old: | unhesitatingly but for the fact that he the top’ atep and rolled down with | Went right on @nd utterly destroyed the laughter to the sidewalk. Then a/ public faith in his veracity by saying | policeman ran up, arrested tum and Rare aoe that he refused the money | American, was golng to take lilm to the station |Nouse I sald, “What are you going to do that for?” He sald: “For trying |t0 make a dive out of a chureh,” DIDN'T CONCERN HIM, Lawyer—The jury bas brought in @ sealed verdict in your case. Prisoner—Well, tell the Court that they | nedn't open it on my account.—Phila- ja Ingufrer. The Bellevue Idea Again! | Prof, Joeh Ms A. Long May | call your attention to @ joke | that Is apparently older than some of the mummies up in the Motropolitun 1) Museum af Ari, namely: WISER, “Why does a chimney smoke?” Jerry—Is the world getting better? “Berause it can't chew,” Joock—It is getting wiser; | have an If there vacant bed in your enterprt: The Home for Incurable Jokes,” kindly as- ole why -doee-a-chimne vs i is a awful time trying to borraw money.— | Detroit Pree Pres: “THE EDITOR REGRETS, ETC.” ‘Ah! if 1 could only share the mendous sorrows of magazine edito: ‘Sorrows? Why, do they have any ° care to it. ‘Thik poor old antedeluvian joke requires the attendance of the huraes (two of the male Variety laiely discharged from Bellevue preferred). |The two could smother this poor old jake to death some night with the ald of @ couple of ri lows and withou tre- danger of an ladiotment being foes a ry W, EDDIE SHEBHAN, low did he diwide it to get ty-elght yards long passed man in 10 seconds who was walking the rate of four miles an hour; then the train runs on for 20 minutes and es a second man in 9 seconds, How far sneha will the train be when the firat_man catches up with the second ? gallons one will be found the same total in white letters. The trick {s easy and is done as fol- lows: Take a sheet of white paper, fold it longthwise (Fig, 2, and write several numbers on it, adding them, but "nol Jotting down the total, Simply ™m ber the total, and mark it, reversed (Fig, 3), with chalk on a sheet of news- Paper, Use this sheet of newspaper to wrap around the slate, As yau Ue the newspaper on press the part of it whereon the reversed chalk numbe: are written on the surface of the slate. The impression will be thus printed in correct form (Fig, 4) on the slate. Now pass around the sheet of white | paper, exposing only the blank side (hid- ing the side on which you wrote the Ngures), and let them write \arous nume bers on it, But when you give it ¢o one person to add up, show him only the side of the paper op which are the figures you made and whose total you ————_—_——_—_ GAME OF TRADES. In the game of trades each one chooses a trade which he or she exer- cises in the following manner: The shoemaker mends shoes, The washerwoman washes cloth ‘The spmner turns her wheel, &c. Wrap a slate in a sheet of newspaper, tle It and lay it on a table, Pass a sheet of white paper to people in the n, Ask them to write on this paper several rows of nuurbers, Let some one add the figures and write down the ‘otal on another pheet of paper and put ‘it in his pocket. Burn the first plese of paper, dropping the the newspaper which covers the slate. Go through apy incantation that may Amuse the company; then ask the man|already know. He will thus add up @ who kept the record of the total of the! total corresponding exactly with that on peek Ripsny ee announce 4 total.|the slate, Be sure none of hen he ne ve fr ‘oe re news: teat be nding wy yeee | 5 J n “ @ queen and begins the Ing at his or her ow m trade. the yer whi i, ei an ‘iat the king is in co p Avergaiion keg and & seven- One of the players acts as @ king or me by work- In the n time all the others must make the king suddenly changes his trade and takes up that of one/of the company all the rest must remain inactive except e should familiarize and how to give an alarm, Bvery om himself with the looation of the box and how to turn in an alarm.’ Tel TURKEY’S RAMAZAN. Ramazan has now begun and everything ts elack. Ne bush ness can be done with ugh the day as quickly a9 powsible, says the Londes » ‘They may not eat, drink or amoke from urks, whose one idea is to to sunset. ‘The consequence is that pight ts turned Into and day, dnto night. Pwo hours ‘sunrise guns are and drums are beaten through the streets to wake people up so that they may ha) then try and sleep as long as possible, About 12 o' later they appear in their offices, very grumpy, holds a string of beads to while qaway the time, on till about 8, when they seem anxious to get home... they arrive they wash and sit down round the tables; or which the seryants are laying out crowds of llttle plates & good feed before sunriee, sits with appetising morsels of all sorts of foods, With heli eyes fixed on this they walt, anxiously consulting, thell watches, till the guns proclaim that 12 o'clock, set, has come. thelr mouths And) v ‘Bopre the sound. of the gun has r¢ After dinner a) eorte of