The evening world. Newspaper, January 29, 1903, Page 10

aa WG CGHOT le 0 Preas Publishing Company, No. 68 to 6 , New York, Entered at tho Post-Ofice | “at New York as Second-Class Mai) Matter. UME 48 NEW TENEMENT LEGISLATION. Ata timo when legislation is pending at Albany NO. 16,186. mt-House Commission are of unusual interest. 900 tenement-houses in Greater New York. And in im, crowded and ill-ventilated as they are, furnishing s that were once homes only in name but are now improved, two-thirds of the city's entire popula- lives! Py “im these tenements there are more than the Tenement-House law as it now exists there the poor.’ All of the old buildings altered during the| Year in conformity with the law, some 1,500 in num-| improvements in provision for additional light and| ‘acceptable to tenants, it has been distinctly bettered. In the new according to Mr. De Forest, not a dark rodm found ayd as a result there has been an appre- diminution<of crime. light is expelling the microbe of immorality ‘with that of disease. | is therefore well in considering the proposed nts to the law to dwell on these improvements the law jealously against dny changes that) & feturn to the old looseness of legislation | Permitted the old abuses. Senator Wagmer's bill mblyman Dale’é sanction a return to the old! Scsalitrom the law's care, iy should be defeated and the powerful lobby that ing them should be put to rout. THE’ MATRIMONIAL CRISIS, marriage a healthy habit to be encouraged or an! esome practice to be discountenanced? It looks | this would s00n be one of the burning questions of 2 grert anc growing class exists which believes that oman who devised the first marriage (it was ocktail. For this class contends that the ma- ‘of those who use cocktails and cigarettes use} _temperately and only the few become slaves to sonfirmed mgsztage fiends, and even the matri- @old-gers of South Dakota does not secure them) seiapses into this peculiarly insidious vice. ‘anti-hymeneal class freely grants that marringe was her husband's chattel, bracketed with his), vhis ox and his ass as belongings not to be by bis neighbor. Then a marriage certificate itamount to a bill of sale or a title deed. Sub- when, with the advance of civilization woman became a species of legal contract for her Just services. But now that she is man’s equal {n | r civilized nation except the United States—and in Sse States his superior—marriage has ceased to be a mal necessity and has become an abnormal luxury., Miscourage this luxury practical steps have already | taken by the class whose opinions have been above. _ The United States Post-Ofice, for example, has made | Marriage an offense punishable by instant dismissal and ;#0 has our Board of Education, All over the country the | papers report celfbacy clubs to be springing up. It has indeed been looking very dark for the nuptial habit. L Bet now there has stepped forward a defender ofthis by) ‘venerable if antiquated custom. His name is Cohn, his ttle Assemblyman of the Eighth New York District, It ie at AMbany that he has dealt the foes of matrimony a DP staggersng blow. For there he has intreduced a bill ©) taxing all able-bodied bachelors and spinsters who are ")found to be persistent in their celibacy. The bachelors) ment ying, p to be taxed $50 per annum, the spinsters $25. | three “ “And these are but the skirmishes which precede the, *!ndly S great conflict. Its outcome seems indeed gloomy for man. For elther the next generation of him will ne "ibe born or the present generation will wish it nevar| had been. A CELEBRATED NEW YORKER, | fe. An Irish baby, brought from the old sod to New| - Work at the tender age of two, | A Fourth Ward schoolboy till twelve. Married at sixteen. . Following his trade of morocco leather worker in New ) York and Newark till twenty, | =) Then in politics and a few years later court officer ) Mader Recorder Hackett. \Baloon-keeper and Alderman in 1886, '87, '88. y Police Justice by Mayor Grant's appointment and Le a strong indorsement by Recorder Smyth in 1890, |) Pammany leader of the Second District. . @ “has been.” Now dead of pneumonia at his home, it notorious of New York politicians of the present p Phe reader who has lived in New York for per- bal score of years will have no difficulty in filling in Pofinterest, And if he has ever happened to stand| Plain old red brick house in Madison street with the plain door-plate “Divver,” he has no Balzac’s imagination to construct a very in- the main features of which could not} aie h developed him, ‘th indorsed Divver as honest and ca- "men with opinions of eq welght Ls ratoerers | Messrs, Bi ing. 4 » Gu truth lay somewhere between | 3 th ‘Rot likely that a fond parent would 18 career, Yet the general features of it, the chow. | , the brawl that THE WORLD: THURSDAY EVENING, JANUARY 29, 1903. 1 BV a NN Se ich ts designed to revive many of the suppressed evils| 4 nt architecture some statistics prepared by the] « ding to Commissioner De Forest there are now|® @ark rooms! Quarters that mock the name of| ¢ /been a gradual betterment of the housing facilities | « and all the new ones erected, numbering 500, show) 4 Jarger hallways, modernized sanitary arrangements g other changes that tend to make their quarters ¢ ‘while the tenant's comfort is increased his moral| : $0600O5044444004 WISE” wi LOU—Lena is going to elope with Wise Willie to-night. FOXY FREDDY—I'm sure you prefer me, don’t you, LENA—Sure! LOU (to herself)—I'll let Wise Willie into this a habits, But almost all who indulge in matrimony | Mr. main, faction, in skeleton outline is the career of one of the i dovia stamped at Dis career as Mabphescy: 1@} 4 ¥ eT aki pare to shed it now! sion which surges in the lover's heart, though embodied in phrases habitually jused by a business man, Is sure to touch your soul, | pathetic ending, when she is no longer ything tochim, and he—to use the ,did her race a greater injury than the mgn {Perfect but comprehensive vernacular {sto her as created the first cigarette or he who evolved the|seader, read on! J me to cultivate IS eXciisatle fin those dark ages of barbarism when) ‘ther. is ede the favour of your esteemed Yours faithfully, DeareMixs Smythe | Knowledge with ited from a chattel into a servant, the marriage | of your letter of even date, Dearest conversation beg made, | suing six ive the other best consideration, cate your views to me in due course, ‘Trusting before Chickabiddy, , Ownest closed please find acknow] ‘Trusting same will give every satis- 1 am, our only lovey-do: JOHNNY. xen es ly note Kisses, My Sweetest Kvelina of your letter of 9th ingt,, which L regret was not answered before owing to pressure of business. In reply there do love y ng dno one else In all the ‘rusting to sce you this evening as usual and tn good health, Miss Smythe with the lotter warded add taining all Deft d by “Big Tom" Foley in 1901 and since that) } R'is hot included ward the letter in ques on taining my intend to defend the jamie shal! do as you request, ible without Tammany or without the old| al! a we our ellent Letters,” comes “dead as a door nail, J |. 1899, Dear Miss Smythe: With reference to my visit last evening at the house of John Jorkins, when I tha Having , I bey to a re us, ont LOVE pete RS}: d ‘condition by exempting three-story and four | A BUSINESS MAN. have before us a volume of n “Business Man's Love few extracts from which we give below, says London Punch in tts last Reader, 1f you have a tear, pre- The burning pas- al friend, | 4 the pleasure of meeting you. been much charmed by conversation and general attract! I beg to inqulre whether you will allow © acquatntainceship yo : 1899. Referting evening when you consented to become my wife. » arrangement suggest wedding should take place within che en- No doubt you will details your and will communl- happiness darling JOHN, whieh 4, 1899 1 am duly in re-| beg to state that J . antl ON. y. per carrier, a pNarione letters whieh time to as your intention umber write 1 Aug. ta Hy fore mm by Fe yhen I will send you a ah gli Yours faithfully, 1900, or Pai {Of VOur letter ‘and will leave further communications to be made through my solicitor as Yours, & Pt of your ‘day's date, With ‘ copy of letter dated We note that you state tho aueation has bop duly e a the} 4 m- ess, Ipt contents of pleasure, hope to call this evening at 7 when I trust to find you at home, Kindest to the of FReoOY THis }BUY A HOME SITE ON SWAMP-CREST BY- THE. CEMETARY AND YOULL NEVER WANT ANOTHER BY ADAMSITE 6 LLIN rnc oem one tse NY LOU—Yes, they the ladder in about five minutes, come first. WISE WILLIE—Leave it’ to me. a rope tied to the ladder and wound around yonder post. Not bad, eh? I'VE GOT HALF AN Uf HOUR To CATCH o THAT TRAIN THIS MORNING SOL TAKE \T EASY. yall een (RUN ALONG, 4 THERE! it's PALone! DISGRACEFUL! SLLPHOHHOHSHHOOIG GHG DADOBDAODDDDO ILLIE FOILS F FOXY 'FREDDIE'S inside. They'll descend Freddy will See, I have 0640004 34-D9940844 ©4-0OOOO50OOOOO 6 O04¥ FOXY FREDDY—For the land's sake! WISE WILLIE—This is on me. -MR. HOTFOOT COMMUTER KEEPS ON BEING LATE. Artist Kahles Shows How It Happened This Time. THAT FIGHT Wuz FUR TEN DOLLARS A SIDE! woT 00 YEZ MEAN BE BREAKIN IT UPS HOS-9$-9H9O-HHO9G0H9900OO$OG-OF900OO ELOPEMENT WITH ONE OF THE ae BIG- HATS. _ | Wow-oww, Wife) LEG GO! i be as a Ss — _— a ONE HOUR LATE, AND HR's BEEN FIGHTING! )) Nek LaviiM OFF FOR UL| WEEK, OOo 2000 oe oe ¢ Four of the Best Jokes of the Day. THE INCUMBENT. Mrs. Browne—You are President of your Sunshine Society, aren't you? Mrs, Malaprop—Yes, I'm the present incumbrance.-Philadelphia Press, AN EASY BURDEN. Wigk—Yes; little Siimenus carried off the honors at college Wage--'l! bet the honors didn't weigh much, Pbilade pila Record ANOTHER REMINDER Lives of Senators may teach us, Killing time with none to bail ‘What the Judgmont Day can't reach us While the tongue holds out to talk “Washington Posi. PERSISTENT MEMORY, Norton d you were very quick to give Up your seat in the sireet carm@o that lady io black, Spinks ‘ince ohildhood’s days T never sid tlh easy when 1 naw a A READING LAMP, rectly safe may ass about three Aing riha full of water and sticking an Inch ‘wire nail into a plecs andle fabout ope inch and a half long, placing the candie nail end first into the water and lighting . Phe. candle will About oue-elghth of pe peor] are! waa he white “pep mint’ candy, and sometimes “so beneficial that the most careful of mammas may give tt to thelr little ones. A crate and yer good way to make It Is to fuls of granulated sugar | ful ef water, Ag soon as the, gaelted ry eo the BOON ant OR WINTER EVENINGS. | HOME FUN FOR WINTER EVENINGS DESCRIPTIVE AUTHORS, The tallest author—Longtellow. » dustiest author—Rhodes (roads), » hungrlest author—Wolfe (w » keenest author—Smart, » most soldierly author—Garrison e most elusive author—Dodge. most verdant author—Green, most preserved author—Hale, most rural author—Hay. e most murderous author—Caine, most stable aulhor—Barnes, » most faded author—Wither most witty author—Whitter, eS EASILY: MADE CANDY. Children always delight in pink and Ic is harmless jasolye i Up nutes, Then r en fe of HOMEMADE POCKETBOOK, Some of your mothers need a pocket- book, s9.f thought I would show you how to make one. Buy six inches by five inches of leatheretie, Cut as outlined in the drawing, bend leatherette and then glue together, re RING ON A STRING, othe eucnte, ie contre, each OOOO eS 16.60% LOU-—There! Now you've lost them both. No elopement to-night! LOU AND LENA—Poor Willie! Poor Freddie! SBSHOHOSOOOOOO A HOME FOR OLD JOKES, Superannuated and Overworked Jests to Have a Quiet Retreat. Aannuated jokes {s well under way. Jokes that have worked hard for years will be pensioned off and te- ‘lg last the project to establish a home for supers tired The Evening World would like to hear from its readers in this regard. If they know of any worthy old jokes who - are deserving of a quiet retreat in their old age and @ furcease from their labors, let them be recommended fer, retirement in the proposed Old Jokes’ Home. Send in the names, description and past performances) of all the old and deserving jokes you know of. ‘The Retreat for Aged and Decrepit Jokes will be under the charge of the eminent philanthropist, Prof. Josh M. A, Long: ‘ It touches the heart to see jokes, feeble and worn with age, having to work night after night and day after-day in minstrel shows and vaudeville houses. DOCKSTADER AGREES. ‘The following letter explains itself: Wee Prof. Josh M. A. Long: Dear Sir: I heartily agree with your suggestion that ¢o0@ old jokes that have worked for years for our entertainment should be retired and their old age made comfortable. Personally, I must plead guilty to having been a taskmaster tg many jokes whose honorable old age should spare them further exertion. Were there a conscience fund| connected with your philanthropic plan I would contribute and largely. I propose that a benefit performance for Ola! |” and Deserving Jokes be given at the Chestnut Street Theatre, Philadelphia, Let us have all the old jokes on the stage for a farewell performance, Mea Culpa, ; LEW DOCKSTADER. A CANDIDATE, Prof, Josh M. A, Long. . Dear Sir: Iam an honest old joke, worn out with hard): work. My name is No Depravity Ma'am; No Depravity!" 1 am the old Joke who got on the first street car ever run) in America, In the shape of a negro, I rise to give my place! to @ lady, She says: “Do not let me deprive you of youm| seat.” And I reply, ‘No depravity, ma’am, no depravity!" I have outilved my usefuiness, anyway. No man, black or white, relinquishes a seat these days. Or #f he did, ne woman thinks of saying, “Do not let me deprive you." I have to work in the comic papers under a picture week after week, and then, at night, take up my weary labors in minstrel and continuous performances. Truly yours, NO DOPRAVITY. jj DEPEW INTERESTED. Fayorite old jokes of Senator Depew's will be given comfortable home. The Senator may call on visitors’ days at the Old Jobes*! Home and take his old favorites out for an alring after dinner. Let the good work go on, And send in the names of good old jokes deserving of rest and retirement. Prize of Five Dollars will be given for the most deserviy™ case of old and hard-worked joke brought to our attention, INVENTIVE INEZ. One Brief Hour in Her Brainy Life.. NVENTIVE INEZ was her name, I Her motto was: ‘Noth-invent-ure-nothin, ‘This {s the eketch of one brief hour in It has all the tenderly beautiful heart interest of a Laure, Jean Libbey romance combined with most of the shrewd, acumen of a Sherlock Holmes story. Inez was preparing for her dally walk down Fifth avenue (South) Finding no perfume at hand she utilized the first window- sash she could lay her hands on, algebraically differentiating: {t from the others by referring to it as Sash A. But removing the sash had @ sad effect on the window itself. It tottered, In another moment {ts enormous plate-slass length wouMd have shivered Into a thousand fragments on the floor. But here Inez’s inventive genius sprang to the front. Gnatching up a bottle of witch-hazel she heroically dashe@ it all over the falling window. And the pane stopped Instantly, he delay had exhausted the time she had planned hee. lunch. So, hastily tearing several pages out of her French books keeping ledger she swallowed three entrees. Bearce had she done so when her father’s voice sounded in the hail below. (it had once been a poorly furnished passageway, But Inez, entering {t one night in the guise of @ burglar, had made a rich haul.) ‘ “Inez!"' called her father, “come down at once, T want te ake to you." “Alas, father!" she replied, “I am en deshabiite and cannot.” . “Never mind,” quoth he, “slip on something and come down.” So Inez slipped on the top stair and came down, APT ACROBATIC SOLDIERS. by Italian boldiers, forms part of thelr drill, when they are in uniform; but if is really only one of @ series of symnastio exercises which Italian many years been accustomed to practise drill is over, ‘The feat consists in piercing an object with the point of a sword while the swordaman is in @ most abnormal etn