The evening world. Newspaper, September 5, 1902, Page 8

Published by the Press Publishing Company, No, 8 to & a Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Ofice +. at New York as Second-Class Mai! Matter. .NO. 14,990. THE FACTS ARE WANTED. _ After refusing for four months tu discuss the coal | ba @ttike, President Raer now condescands to present his} | ide of the case—although it is really none of the public's Ghe Funny Side of Life. e JOKES OF OUROWN THE “AUTO” ISN'T IN IT NOW. HISTORY TO HER Am. * said the girl, “I will de frank. You are not u Columbus. I have been © kinned before.” ® “Perhaps I am an Amerigo Vespucct,” He says that the miners demand an increase of wages “Which would destroy all the profit of coal mining. _ Inthis true? If it is nobody wants the increase to be _: aranted. No sensible person would ask or expect the} py sneratore to adopt a scale of wages which would mean ' 7 elon at a loss, The miners themselves would not \ But ts it true? Senator Hanna, who has had thirty | © j7ears’ exporionce In coal mining, says the increase asked 3 yatctates pre eae neenveu hi jfor is reasonable. The impression of the stock market ann fg thet the mining operation of the coal roads shows a _ ‘Profit amounting to more than 10 per cent. of the miners’ a SPELLING NEEDLE. ) “How do you spell needle, Bobby Still Presidont Bacr may be right. If he is he has @ "to the teacher. aly to prove it. And if he does so we are quite con- 12 “N-o-f-d-le, needle," was the reply. fidont that the miners will return to work. Oh MN ALC C aii Less Aas tay Lt name to the country,” sne cooed. And upon that hint he spoke. @ Zno ‘I In needle. 3 “Well, then, ‘taint a good needle." “Courteous Virginians.—A Virginia militia oMcer has been 3 HER onJHCTI ‘The maiden fair rejected him. ‘Though he appeared all right. She said she'd never wol a man Who couldn't read or write. + Gishonorably discharged for calling a brother oMcer a | Mobster.” What would these courteous Virginians think j of New York {i they should happen to attend a Devery meeting? Take heed, then, of hia ignorance, Ye men who little reck. ‘He couldn't read—a title clear, And couldn't write—a check. “PARTRIDGEISM.” ‘Within the past few days a new word has found Its may into the vocabulary of New Yorkers. ‘The word 1s “Partridgeism.” It {e not pleasant of sound or significance. It hae|% BORROWED JOKES. Smever been defined, but definition 1s not necessary. — hnverybody knows just what it means, just as everybody Knows just what Deveryism or Crokerism means. 3 Mayor Low should stop the use of tthe word by stop- Re ‘ping the occasion for its use. Its permanent adoption | Swould be a menace to the cause of reform. Take a piece of soft, white, elastic cloth, such qs an old table napkin, and draw a fig- ure in the centre of same with a very soft lead pencil. If you cannot draw a tracing can be made by taking a print and placing same under the cloth, hold both up against s window pane and trace the picture. Figure 1 in illustra- tion shows the picture on the cloth, the other | tacking came on a wooden board. The small black! Ulustrations show a few of the many caricatures circles shown in illustrations designate where that can be made from the ono drawing. The dis- tacks were placed to get the above results, tortions are made by stretching the cloth and ee WHAT “CHICAGO” MEANS.| A FLY’S MARVELLOUS VISION. The Miam! tribe of Indians, who once Inhabited Iiinols called a skunk Se-kaw- kaw, and Chicago was named after the word Se-kaw-kaw or Sikag or Chigng-- 11 meaning the same thing—which shows what the word Chicago means. All of this ts going to be set down In a dictionary of American names that the Geological Survey will print soon, and here ts the official language: Chicago: City and river in Iilinots. The origin of the word 1s from the In- dian, being a derivation by eliston and French annotation from the word Chi- Kang-ong. Col. Samuel A. Starrow used the name in a letter to Gen. Jacob Brown, in 1816, as follows: ‘The river Chicago (or tn the English, ‘Wild Onfon River’)."" Schoolcraft in 1820 aald: “Its banks * * * stated to produce abun- dantly * ¢ * the wild species of cepa or leek."? Bishop Baraga gives: “From Chigag, or Sikag, ‘skunk,’ a kind of wild John Turner defines skunk ;#* onton, she-ganga-winzhe, R IN POLITICS. ‘This "harmony's" a curious word, Its purpose {8 polite; Yet, every tlme you mention tt You start another fight. —Washington Star. \ \ NOT WASTED. She—You say you couldn't drink tho coffee at the hotel. I suppose you throw t away? Boarder—No, I used It in my fountaln ) pen.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Drawing the Line—It must have been exceedingly diMcult for the police yeaterday to draw the line in the political @ebate between Devery and Goodwin, but why not draw \ ft on both of them? : CONTEMPT OF COURT, Tt is one of the ripe fruits 6f centuries of the common _ daw that no one knows what the law is until the court AsWoll, ait tow ald youl leisy tant decides it. and so no one may know whether contempt |{ night? Did you follow my advice and ‘of court has heen committed by Fire Commissioner Stur- | % begin counting? | gis until the court has passed on his appeal. DRE h err e n rundredend Among the many arguments put forward by the eml-/@ 4 Ana then you fell asleep? nent Corporation Counsel in defense of the Fire Com- 2 B—No, then it was time to get up— “missioner for having disobeyed a mandamus of the court | 3 Albany Argus. 4s that the mandamus was served on Thomas Sturgis the | ® i MIOIALLE GU ‘Yndividual while the disobedience was performed by|® seedy ice ee " SPhomns Sturgis the official. D uevolsegat would aakelaygeoa cipie This may not he contempt of court, but {t is con-|% mat? He was never very studious,” ‘tempt of common senso. “No, But he makes a very creditable Appearance in knickerbockers.”"—Wash- ington Star. cour ‘TING PLAN FAILED. Fatal Accuracy.—The city sportsman’s alm 1s never so ac- : curate as when he !s shooting at another eportaman by {| mistake for a deer. At such times he would be eligible for @ contest with a Boer sharpshooter. : i SOMEBOpDIES. } THE NEW ALDERMAN. MARTIN, BRADLDY, JR.—at present Sentiment prevailed over common sense in the elec- su H eee has so!d his three automo- piles. He says the numerous recent jtton yesterday of young John J. Bridges to the Board of | faratittes, added to his own phenom> Aldermen. ridges is the son of the late James J.| onal bad luck, have cooled his enthu- Bridges and is elected to fill out his father's unexpired | *!48m for the horseless vehicle. 4 ‘term. He is thirty-five years old and a clerk in the|?ATTI!. has ordered a «umber The haughty chauffeur who's been bumping things Now finds his record bent By the chesty trolley motorman Who's bumped a President. ‘When the word first appeared the country was inhabited’ by a tribe of Miamis, In whose dialect the word for skunk was ‘Se-Kaw-Kaw." It is said that the wild cat, or skunk, was named from the plant. INTERPRETED, ' of pictures taken of her childhood ¥ |Surrozate's office. ; : See eee ‘ RUlasraan Stewart PRE fect! ' a home In Wakefield, the Bronx, Y. AN INFANT MARKET, Much enin View of the E ac a { rman art says that the election of the youth | ROCKEFELLER, JOHN D.—has signs ‘The orphanage at Temesvan, in Hun. eae (seem a hness 1 A - Fly. Hs “a moral crime” because his sudden plunge into poll-| on his Pocantico estate ordering auto- Mles will ruin him. Once an Alderman always an Alder- FRAT PME PER PS 3 j eaiserd oT | autos, © had any top hair, the map, is the Stewart theory, and to be always an Alder-| pight of an auto would make it stand man is not the most desirable of ambitions, not evem| on end, ‘when there's a rich railroad to be held up. SMITH, REV, WAL! the First Presbyt gary, holds an “infant market" once a month, at which all the children at the orphanage aro on view, and at which persons desirous of adopting one or more of them can Inspect them and take their choice, The first of these markets assed off very successfully, says Poar- son's Weekly. Thirty children were on view—boys and girls between the ages of one and ten years. Nineteen of them It ts often sald that the fly has two eyes, each containing a thousand eyés; this statement {s only partially true, since the compound eye of insects Is really one, though {t hae many facets, each of which 1s capable of recetving a perfeot | i, image and transmitting it to the animal's perception. The | remarkable thing about these compound insect eyes 1s thie: | While in the human being only a small portion of the ght rays can enter the eye at one time and only a few of | these are in focus so as to make a perfect image, the fly can see nearly all around the horlzon at any given time, and | DR E.—pastor of jan Church, May's invent aye , Will go to Korea as a &W Canadian Lord.—An investment of "$0.00 has given a! misstonary about Oct 1. New Yorker a vast seignortal estate in Canada, where he REAR ADMIRDAL will be lord of the manor am exercise authority over Q \ 8 O.—retired, 1s the oldest Hv. a 7 fo | mumerous tenants who will pay him tithes. It Is cheaper or of the American navy, He ae senate eRe tena ee all the rays that fall upon the eye, or nearly all of them, | than a Madison @ house and much more Interesting. | was appointed from Massachusetts tn I eatrly well-to-do people, and one foster-] *7@ constantly tn focus. ‘This means that the fly can eee as | Beh. a — 4 penrbibetavel the @atabllelys Customer — Chicken croquettes, 8 mother went straight to a lawyer's office| W¢!! on top of him and to the rear as he can in front. ’ - ' ment of the Naval Academy citer, y d made her newly-adopted child heir-;1t also explains why his flyship is so hard to catch, r apBEVERY'S Lost, TONOLE. siApate ‘lter—Fow! bail! only nop ct repaie shone, ced noo a fess to her fortune of $10,0% | i Aa hbief,” “blackmailer,” “bum Lively ti Seg pres tuire » ME eRA lovely tangiiage in tho Niath.” Devery's loquacity i DEAR FATHER Ane bey were; lignan anes, HOME-MADE HUMMING TOPs ry rely Tang n the Ninth.’ Devery’s loquacity JOG ALONG. Atemaunn ted own Oolecninimnen Viney Chautfour—They were repatr TO BECOME A DRUGGIST jis Tanning away with his discretion. His ecart-tall con- 1 that Scribbles loves his wife? Hivikad Mardo; shops to repair your @ ci te P ; ‘ F Z Mr. Newlots—Because sh ads thirst, hic! 3 Gn f Ffeasions are a valuable addition to the public's knowl-' ff Never mind the weary way avacyihiNa Iie GHrltaay anaehe oats 8 ti mie Saad of me it camo from. Even if he wins out the Sra rene alone diay @everything she cooks A Registered Pharmacist Tells of il eirenardedvae worth 5 ark Is ng to the day— | A Mictory may be regarded as worth the price of his reve- Teenie the Apprentice’s Rough Road. NERVOUS, @ations of corruvtion under the old regime in the Police Department. | There bave been individuals before Devery who be- | ame intoxicatec with the exuberance of thelr own ver- | Dosity and suffored tho consequences. The ex-best Whiet'a fondness for invective has led him to make very Never mind how tlmas may go— World's the very best we know, An’ the good God made tt 6o— Jog along! ‘To the Editor of the Evening World: If any young man decides on a druggist’s career because he thinks it !s easy and profitable ‘he will probably be mis- taken when he finds out how much hard work it means. ‘The popular idea that the business can be easily "picked up” In @ year or two's work in a drug store is an er- roneous one, 1. What our hopes and what our fears? Joa al f)) Serlous charges. He has apparently not realized that fl wnat our ciarean and our cares? ‘The druggist to-day {s required to undergo a course of ©) the victims of his wordy venom, writhing under It, are Jog along! preparation for his work as rigid as that of any professional : man. In the first place, on entering a store he ts required : What the thorny crown love wears— What the falling of love's tears? There 4s sunshine for the years— Jog along! »- likely to talk back. In these amoebean strains of alter- \ mate charges and countercharges the public is getting at Now for that snake in the grass, Sheehan,” said Devery last night and proceeded once more to bruise, him under his heel. “Beotched snakes sometimes retaliate, If this one | Goes so we may pass on from general charges to the to do the less agreeable work of the store, such as washing His spare moments, which are very few during the first) modern baking powder box:and a piece year, are devoted to the atudy of the rudiments of the] of soft pine wood. Make the hole. im business, usually under the direction of the senlor clerk of| the bottam of the box square to fit the! the store. During the second year he advances a little and | shoulder on the spindle, and fasten the becomes familar with the: appearance and major properties |iatter in and the lid of the box on of the more common, harmless drugs, and 1s allowed to} with glue. The square hole cut th tho ur Time and tite, and earth so wide— Jog along! Joy Is born where Joy has died— te Jog along! ‘handle these under the supervision of a registered pharma-| side of the box will make the @oui @limy details and particulars of the blackmailing system ls, that Jove may tl! ablde— She- And what aid papa say, Reg- >| cist, while the top is spinning. a “that prevailed “sigher up” under the best Mayor, |] So contentment seeks our side— g sle? Musical Passer-By—More move-(@| And 0 it goes on for three or four years, an {mmense ‘a : ws [E civing still, though crucitea— Mr. Stork (to rattlesnake)—1 think He—Ah, he was quite nice. He } ment, more go! Can't you accelerate @®| amount of hard work and constant attention to business sce ‘ 2 2. || Jog along! @ that you will lose that case sald he'd try to support me in the 3 your time? | cuties, until at last ue 1s prepared to enter college. fe THE PURSUIT OF THE TAX-DODGER.! Atlanta Constitution. g Rattiasnake—Ho ‘8 that? style to which I've been accus- Porformer—Why #hoot I do aat?| Arriving at the college he enters upon a long and dim- THEN AND NOW, Pe Whither sho)! the tax-dodzer flee to escape the pur. Qos Because : Ba oe cidtanes Nobody Is Urowin' apyt'Ing, ] oult course, lasting frm two to fous yen Sete bal eves re © CQBPODS OQOSOOQOPODE’ NOOOOQOOOQSE| thorough course in pharmacy, analytical and descriptive suit, of the fierco and unrelenting assessor? One of the| - eee a ae ne ee. ere chemistry, physics, botany, pharmacognosy (a terrible name long yeonspicuously wealthy New Yorkers who last year os- | for a terrible subject), therapeutics, microscopy and crys- aro (in @ a persona! property assessment of a million dol- ot I IM El Y I E I I E RS FROM | taNOmEAOhy, Wee { 5 owt Surely this would seem to be a auffictent ordeal, but even|f ties you know) when 8 by pleading residence in New Jersey is now under eatixation by the County Board of Assessors, who Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, jhard-working laborers — working. I) and I would Ike to know how to ge a4 | asked what was the matter when he gets his diploma his troubles are not over, for then the State Board requires him to appear before a committee of expert druggists, to pass an examination and demon- grandma went walking t rid | only be kind enough to say ‘ome here, asked legal advice as to how far they are empow- To ‘he Editor of Th why city| of the short one. as he has very mean . y | ae ae | as ho ha Uttle boy; I'l give you a Job," perhaps by law to aid him in eyading his just and equitable Rel a read paper and } employees were working on Labor Day.| ways, The other night he bought five) he would have work perhaps) strate his qualifications, If he succeeds in making a show- pd Lie * eld , ywee!ng that you give ormation, I |The answer w No work, no vay.") cents’ worth of bananas and offered me DISCOURAGED ing he is given a certificate allowing him to practise phar- er skirts: would like you to answer the following | How Is this posstble? [one and because I refused he got mad. an 7ED SISTER. | acy within the State. Where Axe Hopinners!\Cisasen, From this it will be seen that from four to elght years As sad news for the fugitive millionaires, noz|auestions. I would Ike to earn en | Cc. A. Brooklyn, | Please advise mv. TESSLE, e ‘Raltor of The Eveniag World: ‘To the Ealtor of The Bveaing World; A NOISELESS FIREARI1. ee} M here any cure tor a young man of/ Kindly give the fumily name of Em- taxation may be sworn om jn Beet New Foie I saw the Amer-| considered tho prettiest girl In my dis-| twenty-five wio 1s out. of work eight ‘peror William of Germany, also of Rd-| An apparatus which, when attached to any kind of firearm, an flag raised, but not twenty-five | trict. I am going with two young men,| months and is too bashful to ask a|ward VIL of England. C.D. BLAND, | does away with all noise, flash ov smoke on its » bMeet away I saw about six or seven|One of them ia tall and the other short,| boss for a Job? (if the bosecs would| Hoboken, N. J. byen invented by @ French officer, A Morriy County, N. J., but elsewhere—in Newport |Zneering, 1 have to work from 6 A. AUialiantera vention Frock Coat aud Sik Hat. Rorthe, Bdliar et Tae Brenig World are required for preparation to practise pharmacy, and/|) say if aie a ’ ” BI Bs |M. to 7 P.M, and would like to know | 5 ° Would tt be necessary for one wish- ston in which the courses of sti and in Tarrytown and Lakewood and on it thero ts any. schooi or inetitution |" equim of The Rvesies World: || mo the Balter of The Evening Worl: Ing to learn arshitecturat drawing and| more gimeult, or the rewards smaller. SaeAiAe Rs | Woe eae » wherey tonen evenings where 1 could te ‘old jike to know whos as | you advise me through your | who has no experience | 3 b 3 a anit wherever our millionatres moat do con- ;oren evenings where 1 could learn the | are to be depended on the more in the| paper the proper attire for bridegroom | Union 10 tale she serie woutte e eee | ‘The lazy young man had better. stecr clear of pharmacy.|] skirts a {same. 3, P. Brooklyn. [matrimonial ease, the man's or the |and best man and ushers at a morning |aclentiNe department. or, if net, what despa dias oer Hii a delat Pelco ticara cototoned d any Now York tax-dodger take the. %® Molar for City Employees. | woman's, T. B, and 3. W. | wedding? ©. R. | class to start? eka y No, 44 Gates avenue, Brooklyn, N. ¥. 80 tight- yale | To the Ralter of The Evening World Tall Men Vernus Short aa Nas } ‘ off his residence w! i S; > | ‘num Sheet, Necessity Shonld Cure Him, Hohensollern and Wettin. ly they tite nee, when the oxperlence! 1 will tet you know what I saw on'| ro tne Raitsr of The Evening World To. et other and the testimony of the assesg-) Monday, Labor Day. My trip was out! Iam a young gitl, seventeen, and I am