The evening world. Newspaper, August 6, 1902, Page 8

Published by the Press Publishing Company, No. 63 to 6 Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Ciass Mail Matter. VOLUME 48. -NO, 14,060. A LORD CHAMBERLAIN NEXT. ‘The minute and positive instructions issued by Prest- dent Roosevelt for the conduct of his receptions during is progress through the sovereign State of Rhode Island are novel, but they will probably be followed by instructions to the other States favored by the Presiden- tial presence and will furnish a precedent for Roosevelt's Successors, As the poet says, “New occasions bring new dutier,” and thus does the Presidential office accommodate itself to the new conditions of the Republic. But what {s really needed is not a piecemeal settlement of questions of Presidential etiquette but a new department of the Government vested with authority to frame a code! which ehall fully cover the whole important question | and which shall be binding on all citizens of the United | States. i Such an office is filled in England by the Lord Cham berlain and in France by a social despot known as the Clerk of the Protocol. The importance of their func- tions Is attested by the fact that their authority ts ab- solute and no one would think of questioning any of their decrees. ‘We ought to have such an office in this country, It might be hard to fill it at first, hut we might go to Rhode Island and get some one of the Newport set who| would be competent to tell us how to behave when the President ie eround. He would probably prefer to be called the Lord Chamberlain. He should have a uni- form, and he ought to wear knee breeches. Clubs and Wives.—One of the allegations of a wife seeking divorce ia that her husband ‘‘spends too much time at his club."” sympathetic Jury will doubtless agree with her that her | 4 husband was a brute. TWO INHUMAN CORPORATIONS. New York’s sense of humanity was shocked last week | hy the story of the killing of Mary Kelly by a trolley car while crossing Third avenue at Tenth street, whén the the car and hurried off to make up the time lost in the manslaughter, . 7 One would think that such callous inhumanity could | hardly be matched outside of savage Africa, but yester- | day an investigation of the death of Thomas Price, who a was found on Sunday morning lying dead near the cor- ner of Kent avenue and South Ninth street, Willams- | burg, shows that atreet-car management is not lese brutal | in the Borough of Brooklyn than in Manhattan, | In this cage a witness testified that Price was knocked | down and run over. The motorman and conductor, sisted by two other men, pulled the body out from under the car and left it lying in the gutter. Then the car went on its way. As car hands are not less human than other people, the only construction to be placed on such incidents is that the employees of the corporations are acting under strict instructions from the management which they dare not disobey. From the corporation point of view the killing of a pedestrian is a triffing mat- ter compared with 2 failure to make schedule time. The} law ought to be able to reach not only the train hands who obey such brutal instructions but also the managers who issue them. Ocean Liner Poker Game—A game of poker on an ocean lner with §11,000 in cash and chips on the table sizes up pretty well with high plays at Canfleld’s. [How a Tender- i loin police captain would have liked to get his clutches Ey on the Kaiser Wilhelm's players! A CUSTOMS LAW HUMILIATION. One of the paesengers on the Kaiser Wilhe@n der Grosse, arriving yesterday, was a young girl nained % Weiss. She was bound for St Louis to meet her Intended 4 ‘husbanil. Tho customs officials suspected an attempt by; some one to smuggle in diamonds, and Miss Weise?s | looks betraying guilt to their practiced oyes, they de- tailed two women inspectors to “make a thorough search of her person.” By the time it was finished the protest- {ng girl had been subjected to a humiltation that will bring tears of shame to her eyes for years to come, { The traveller's conscience is not as sensitive as It ought to be about smuggling and the customs laws are | strict. But the spectacle of Uncle Sam engaged in a proceeding of this sort {s not edifying. i Much the Same.—Prof. Reisner, of Harvard, reports that : he has discovered the very ancient cemetery of Coptos tm Egypt, but says nothing as to whether the epitaphs are ag truthful a@ those in modern cemeteries THE MEANEST YET. ‘As the slighted wife Is twenty and pretty a! « car hands merely lifted the dead body out of the way of | ‘ |@ “No, indeed 6 Be oad Ce Ohe Fa JOKES OF OUR OWN CANINE AND FELINE. The dog days hit Manhattan now; And Swithin alds this clime, Ry making It “rain cats and dogs” ‘Three-quarters of the time. SAME SENSATION. Hector, having been drasged thrice round the walls of Troy tied to Achilles's narlot, feebly opened his eyes. In—ie thls Harlem?” he wonldly asked In another instant he realized that he was not hal om the back of a rush- hour car, and the bitter disappointment esmote him to the heart > A HARD LUCK STORY, “Do you belleve in luck?” “If ‘seeing Is believing,’ I've no in tt faith NOBLE EMPLOYER. “Lam a benefactor to my employer this year.” “How so?" “I noticed in past seasons how sick ‘and tired and blue and worn out they were when they returned from vacation; so this year I spared them afl that by’ giving no vacations THAT LET HIM OUT. “TAnvested in those stocks at your ad vice and lost everything. You said there was a fortune in them.” “So there Is It's there yet. guarantes you'd extract it." I dtan't & ¢ 3 BORROWED JOKES. OUTDONE. “Throw away that vile clgar.” “Not much, mister; go an’ find yer own mtt!"'—Ohio State Journa ba P43 $ SUMMER PREFERENCE, » “Do you think there is anything se- Qrious to be apprehended from seven- © teon-year locists?" answered the milliner- Qmade girl; “they stay quietly in. their. trees. They are not nearly so bad as caterpillars.""—Washington Star. © QUITE REMARKABLE. »to make more remarke than any other woman I know.—Philadelphia Press. 99-9999 09O0.49O4O90G.O9O.90O84 4 SOMEBODIES. BYERS, MAJOR 8. H. M.—author of “Marching Through Georgii Wrote the song in one hour. CUAMBPRLAIN, JOSEPH—will carry to his grave the bad scar on the fore- head which he received cab accident. come unscathed through war and then receive a from a hansom smash-up. GARNAULT, PROF.—has started a crusade to prove Prof. Koch's doctrine of Inoculation false, and says he will keep up his experiments to that end until every scientist ts led to his way of thinking. CHARLES, PRINCES6—of Denmark, has learned to speak ant write flu- ently In Russian, the most diMcult of | ¢ ® ways he “| Mrs. Flush—And why do you take ff your hat to me? Little Willle—Cause ma eatd if T In hts late} It must seem hard to| go the Boer battle scar might give me a nickel. ae NO SALE REPORTED. o European languages to master. TWEED, JOHN—has finished and now exhibits In London the statue of Cecil Kim- Rhodes whioh berley. YANAGISAWA, MISs- 4 feet 10 Inches tall, B. is to stand in Japanese girl, has recelved the and M. D, from degrees of LL. California colle HER LITTLE FELLOW YET. Customer—Haye you anything that is good for falling halr Facetious Clerk--How would a ; The story told by The World this morning of the organized extortion practised by the attendants at the} public baths ought to open the eyes of the Commissioner of Public Bulldings and of the Reform Administration | of Mayor Low ani shonid lead to prompt action, { i Osteusibly the baths ure free. They were Intended to| 4 be no and are supposed to be so, Asa matter of fact the| poor little children who are unable to put up a nickel are seldom able to get a bath at all, and when they do are subjected to rough treatment It is a part of “the system.” It came down from a j former administration, but it ought not to Inst after being once exposed. The employees who have made a good thing out of this contemptible extortion should not be continued on the pay-roll of @ reform government, | A WORD FOR SLANO, Ip a lecture at the University of Chicago yesterday | Prot, G. Stauley Hall, of Clark University, said: “Boys and girls need slang. It’s good for them. Let them use it, It keeps them from becoming tongue-bound.” Prof. | Hal) is 4 greet kindergarten authority and we must| Masten respectfully to him while revising our old opinion that slany indicates poverty of language. At any rate, it gives ideas expression, and is not that what language | & for? | The professor's remarks will be appreciated in many | quarters, Can you not hear Chimmle Fadden chewing the rag to this effect y, dat college guy's ull right in| dat song and dance he giv’ about slang. Youse may tink he's stringin ye and dere'll bo a kick comin’ from loidies but he's dead on. Hully gee, but ho's Ay up to de )imit; he's a guy what knows.” And can you not hear a Pike County citizen saying: (1 don't go much on them college chaps and I ain't " mever had no respect for them, but I allow Hall's mid- ‘alin’ good, When a galoot comes down the pike with 3 like that he hits me jest right, Some of them grannics'!) say you're too sassy, but me toa T-wyty. I'm a keerless man, but I git ft and pure's you're born you're right,” Put it thar, pard-| What funny creatures mothers are! 1 sometimes laugh to see— For all my bigness and my age— How mine looks after me, She wants to warm me when I'm cold, To dry mo when I'm wet: I do believe she thinks me just A little fellow yet! waste basket do? UNFORTUNATE. I'm not a schoolboy al With satchel at my back; It won't be many years before I don the haveraack, I'm going to Join thi My father was a ‘vet,’ — And surely then 1 will not ‘A little fellow yet! y more, Gushington—Ah, you ite See orate owe Wife taisleaoe GOOD BUSINESS. Henpeck—Think s0? 4 Gushington—Indeed, I do. Don't you? 3 Henpeck—Well, she certainly ts able 3 rs volunteers— be Ah, well, the mother's good as gold, And kind as kind ean be; ‘There's no one elas in all the world That's half as kind to me. So let her think it If she will, Constance=Papa, Willie has sim- When J, top, am a ply ruined my new bathing suit! It may be I will wish I were Papa—What did he do? Her little fellow yet! Constance~He spilled a lot of wa- ft! —W. A. Mattland in Christian Work, - a TIMELY LETTERS FROf THE PEOPLE, Seores the “Viotim,” face the attack of a robber with his revolver (who {x only after your money) No self-respecting gentleman, however | than that of the policeman with a clu handsome, would for a momont think of| and braas buttons. ‘Though the former airing such an accomplishment | \the “Portchester Victim" who doos #0 is simply iasdpid is apparent, His men- y tal calibre ia as visible to the naked of the riot (through his recent infantile plaint) as) . 4 \though his conceited “phig" was pub- lq... Fa Maoh lini Word. ished. What kind of ladies must the he Alter of The Myemas World | To the editor of The Evening Worl booty because of lack of bread, the lat- nd makes the attack | Tam an innocent Ld ive ind od havo been to have made tho alleged re-|eqeg mara, Neonle dally make the fol | marks his beauty? Go back to the | Cenk Waring error In conversation: woods, Portchenter, you're tiresome. rans LP nee idle ent pin Oop, [lace every tl Nice’ has an en- tity different meaning from that Robber Versus Polleeman, whieh people use it in, The sentence! To the BAlior of The Bveaing World Regarding the riot at Rabbi Joseph's ‘This ie @ nice doll” is Incorrect, The sentence "He haa a nice ear for musle, funeral L would say that it le better tolls cormwot, By looking into dictionaries! @ nny J ide THE BLOCK SYSTEM ON 1 at}oftanitImes attacks bis vietim for his | 24° % of — Bey GR WHI You've BEEN Have you heard about the system—the Block System on the “L"? The block that blocks for blocks and blocks; whose finish none can tell. And folks due home at 6 P. M., thanks to that little block, Will land there for cold dinners about thirty-five o'clock. HE WAS IT. Mrs, Allcash—I was directed to you as a diamond expert. Mr. Wayupp Toppe—Just ma'am. I'm a baseball magnate. LOVE IS BLIND. 80, She—Ma and I are so anxtous to see this game, Mr, Loveleigh, Is It Loveleigh—Not exactly. It's played like this. DRAMATIC NOTE. his teeth.” oe fhe villain ground dOdOE0084 aa FZ ; OWN ISKERS SINCE people treating you to-day? Uncle Remus—Dey ain't treatin’ me at all, T ain't had a drink dis mawn- @ in’. s SHE’S ABOVE IT. Mr. Quizzer—-Miss Snapper ays that you have called yourself twenty: two for five years. Mina Prettymald—Well, sir, T am not one of those women who say one thing one day and another the NTRY SCENES. Hh the distinction i» made manifest, An-Tohasing, by ald of popular subscription other slaring fault in an American's} some lonely lee far from the rude and daily speceh Is the great number of] heartless ga girls, where unt Ie aea po makes wee Ot NOOY| turbot ang unmolested tho two sweat are amply disgusting. Such expressions Ri 1e two. Ubberneck.” “Ping-ponk, oreatives could rtand Narcissus ike and Are monstrous PERLATA |teast their eyix upon thelr noble facen? A Good Suggestion, | (Permit me to suggest Ward's Island, Yo the Editor of The Evening World | 1 wit give 4 much as two cents for a May | have the privilege of a tew| Paolo of either of these beautteat remarks raing the letters of * NAL A tim, Poricheater and “Another Victin” [Beh Ave, and 2a St, (¢ al Park) who claim to be so handtome that trI¥) 9 the Hlltor of The Krening World ay them dy outspoken admiration of Where tm the Afetropatitan Museum of thelr beauty? Would it not be charita>| are jooated? we even philanthropio—to bring these two “unfortunately and ‘Apolloesque” gentle- en (siel) “mutual admiration society’ end pur-|of Wounded Knee Creek. Dec, 2%, 1880.) To the Editor of The Evening World W.d.D, | ical curiosities, By | cooling IoDpITY CORNER. NITROGEN, Crystallized = ni- trogen is one of the greatest chem. ARE YOU GOOD AT PALMISTRY? nitrogen gas down to 367 de- grees below the freezing point, and then allowing It to expand, solid snow-like crystals are formed. HEAT IN LAVA, ‘The retention of heat in lava is al- most —_Ineredibie. Lava is so bad a conductor that It 1s possible to walk on the surface of a lava flow when it has cooled and yet see red heat in the fissures below. WEE PLANET. Vesta Is the only one of the smaller planets which can Soothsayers and wise f e Ered ao eal a and wise fogies of the great land of m: faked eve. Trg {2nd our furues may he J in the palm of the hand. There are many strange Me onty | les t© be seen and our lives may, perhaps, fashion these Ines, put— Bnd ake A hand js here shown with white network of ines. The fortune-teller has will fall into much wealth, leaving only the face of just explained tha Wrih a soft pencil mark ove fhe Goddess of Fortune. man who has dared unneccessary white lines, t WITH MONEY. + 1A SAINT COVERED SLANG CANDY the latest slang manifesiation, how- | , is slang candy,’ remarked a stu- nt of signs of the times you seen it? It ts on sale at many canis | stands. Do you remember th h- | foned, flat, scalloped, dinmond « 1 tt shaped candy lozenge mented with} sentimental words such as ‘Sweetlicart,’ | Thee,’ | ‘My Own True Love,’ ‘Faithful t ‘Ever Thine,’ and so on? We used to} pass these complimentary lozeng around at little gatherings when | wis young, and much hanmle: but deeply fervent lovemaking was carried on by means of such simple tokens. “The pink and white candy lozenge 0! the present day, however, is a degen-| erate. It 1s much smaller in size, al | though sill scalloped, and the phrases stamped on Its surface are below the dignity of genteel members of the loz-| enge family. The words you read now on the candy lozenge are as follows: “That's What,’ ‘My Best Girl,’ ‘Rubber- | neck,’ ‘Move On,’ ‘Sure,’ ‘Bat Them | Out,’ ‘My Size,’ ‘Do You Bike? Whiz," ‘My Baby Lou.’ ‘Guess Not,’ | ‘Just So, ‘Come Again,’ ‘That Face and | soon.” CO —— DUMAS’S CAPITAL. Alexander Dumas, the elder, whose hundredth birthday anniversary was recently celebrated in the little town of Villers Cotterets, used to boast that he came to Paris with but one 20-franc | plece, which he kept in a litue wooden money-box, During his whole life he had the habit of intrusting his spare pocket money to this little bank. As he lay on his death-bed surrounded by his friends he suddenly raised himself and pointing to his money-box he ask ‘How much Is there In it?” "Two franc pieces,” answered a friend after examining the box. For a moment the post was silent. Then he sank back upon his pillows murmuring: “Then I have doubled my capital.” HE STRUCK A SQUALL. eee It All Started with a Red Bandanna Handkerchief. “No, Miss Barrett will not sail with us this year.” “What?” Five astonished members of the Ben Moore's crew stopped eating a rough-and-ready supper to express their astonishment, says the Chicago News Palmer leaned back on the bunk and slowly sipped his coffee before replying. ‘It 18 all on account of those red bandanna handkerchiefs which we wear Instead of yachting caps. They certainly are striking and they make us look ike a lot of pirates, but I think we would better go back to the regulation yachting cap.” “Indeed we won't,’ retorted Chappell “Well,” continued Palmer, ‘I don't know exactly you fellows have done when a pretty gitT has asked you for one of those red tandannas—something to remember the yacht, by. Miss Barrett was like the rest of the girls. It was after fa moonlight sal] and every one was getting ready to go) ashore and she found one of those handkerchiefs and begged e festival day of St. Mary parishioners of a Chicago chureh named in hgr honor literally covered the statue of the saint with money and jewel The, Itallans and Poles composing the congregation struggled with each other to reach the statue and pin their bills and Jewels on It. ER SPIDER, what me to give It to her, Like all the rest of the girls, she | promised to make It into a cushion for the boat. Say, boys,| The water spidet runs about on the Ruring the past two seasons I have given away about five|leaves of aquatic plants and catches dozen of those handkerchiefs, and 1 don't see any cushtons| (the insects that live among them; but of that particular design aboard the boat.” | the nest tn whteh this spider ives ts @ The boys exchanged glances. silk bay Milled with alr, and It Is ane “Ab, [see that other dozens have 2een given also, Well, |cho eath the water. [ts opening I let Mies Barrett tease about half an hour. I told her st] Poms directly downward, ao that no with a view to establishing) Kindly give me the date of the Battiel Th 1 jet aittnat the rules, but I would give her the handler. | #1" can escape when the spider enters thief if she wouldn't tell any of the girls, She went home|! . : happy, thinking she was the only girl In the clty who ta| After nest has been made large happy, binielng ee wae our yacht, You know ales Dnrren,| enough the spider proceeds to Mill it ued sloar out on the north side, But recently >) With ale In the most remarkable way. Mad Lear OU Ow eatigwn andthe sicia #1 call her [She carries it In, Just as human peapte She returned the calls and then she discovered that © 1 | GRRE Rat one) or WRN OF AE SEE in Woodlawn hiad a pillow In the cozy comer with a i) tage ghe pute tho «ni of her body’ Oly WGenceciriktce of the water for an instant, then Jerks ne crew K |it quickly under a bubble arate about 4 equally time! When she had made the tenth | {4 uy Sen sha BU ie An clit, call there was a decided drop in the temperature, and I ran|sconde ta the next, ito which she then into the worat storm I over tried to weather, I had 900 | aitowa the hubhie to escape, carrying too much gail, I couldn't beat out, There was only aa ated’ until’ theoment) di ome thing for me to do, fellows! dropped anchor, [can't 4: with wutiful, shining nivery aa with you very much this summor, Migs Barreft saye| hubnion of alr, ‘The spider haw chosen the boat ts too far from her home ao to escape destruc- ae ter fowl, leaves of " 3 most aquatic plents le flat upon ATHLETIC HANDSHAKE. [Water ah Ny tow uc wake Beware of tho athlete's handshake, sayw the Boston Herald, | He spider could hide from enemles, A Philadelphia lady had the bones of her lily-white hand ~ Aer crushed by @ man co whom whe had just been Introdured. COAL-I1AR SWEETS. But what #aya the book of etiquette? “When a man is pre-| Sa ino and her altar prode a lady they must not shake bande, but m 14s are belie auch used In place of Now wa lmow why the books of etiquette are needful for sweeiertns Jams, syrups, pas suera ry and other food subs ine, one of these gyb= diited with 70 times te wer of cane sugam Hterature. "Ouch!" xclaimed the gir! with the fewelled ’ fingers, “just see what you've done aqueesing my hand! # en n the athlete le wo sorry, especially If he also brouks a/stituten, 1@ ¢ bone or twa. Jewostening-po of Mount Carmel ‘the ~