The evening world. Newspaper, May 7, 1902, Page 10

|. the credit of the great naval victory, Dut a single hour “> of duty away from the action left an opening for a dis- if _ yommander and a herolc soul. "attempt to escape in the morning and bent the signal _ “the enemy are coming out” on the halliards, and that] » the United States would only import some Turkish cooks Published by the Press Publishing Company, No. 6 to @ Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Omce at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter, «NO, 14,869. THE IRONY OF FATE. Hed Admiral Sampson not been summoned by Gen.| gee eee Pees ‘Shafter to the conforence at Sibonpy on the fateful morn- "tug of Santiago there never would have been a shadow of 4 doubt or a question raised as to who was entitled to JOKES OF OUROWN OF COURSE NOT. pute which broke the heart and ended the life of a great In his “Sailor's Log” Admiral Evans claims that on ; OF dk | “You say, when you rejected ey. the evenilig before the Spanish fleet salled out his quar-| 3 oe a ee oe en in termaster, noticing in the still air the thin columns Of] ning he'd have preferred to have gone smoke which evidently arose from the funnels of the} % away In an automodile.” Spenish ehips, took it as a sign that the fleet would “If he'd been rich enough to have an automootle Tad never have sent him away.” lowa THE STAKEHOLD . the was the first ship to fly tho signal, Had he | + One maiden Sacked that race Horse: Yeported the smoke to his commander it is possible that | 4 another one backed this; Admiral Sampson would have been alive and well to-day | And the charming thing they bet was > Just a warm and large-sized ki and there would have been no controversy over the |} un. “inake this bet quite regular, begged, “for both your sakes, y let me, ull the race is run, be We Wied Poor—When the estate of the late Archbishop holder of tho stakes.” Corrigan comes to be appraised {t will be found that he = quitted this world as poor as when he entered it. In IN OLDEN TIMES. questions of money, as in every detail of his blameless |{) “you say they didn't use cimarettes life, he was true to his ideals, and the bishop of the] Sin this country when you were a young richest diocese in the country, !f not in the world, hardly knew what it was to have a dollar of his own nan, grandpa?’ “No. Folks used to use pistols and ‘opes and poison bottles instead in hose days.” PLENTY. there any money to be made on the stage?" “Bushels of it—stage money.” BORROWED JOKEs. MEN AND MILLINERY. ‘Theodosia—iow do you like my new hat? ‘heodore—II'm; I guess it's as crazy A BEEF TRUST BLESSING, The anti-beef-eating agitation has extended to the 6,000 employees of the General Electric Company, in Lynn, 1,700 of whom have signed a pledge to abstain from meat. It would be an interesting outcome of the Beet Trust's arbitrary raise of prices If tho attempted extortion should end our long national preference for | 7 meat ag an article of diet and turp us toward vegetarian- fam. The extent and variety of American cereal products fa such as no otber nation is favored with by nature, ‘These, with other non-flesh foods, aré made all the more palatable by the Improved art of cooking, which has | }lonking as ay of them, my dear—De- multiplied the appetizing dishes now readily procurablo|% ———__— at restaurants. And there are still culinary secrets to be 3 THNILI. OF ALARM, Yearned. Commander Hall says that the Turks know)? Armson—J. Plerpont Morgan says this some which it is our loss that we are ignorant of. “If Seountry Seigoed @nepsn) fon eee) De Manising—Heavens! Is he golng to Puy the entire country ?—Chicago Trib- ‘We could wage a very effective war on the Beef Trus he says. “The best things I ever had to eat were in Turkey and were concocted almost entirely without the ald of meat.” . The twentieth century may discover that the ex- tortionate beef barons have inadvertently done the national health a good turn. The improvement of the tone of the American stomach, whatever the cause, ould be a blessing which the Beet Trust may be offer- ing us in the disguise of abstinence from meat A CAUTIOUS CLAM, Is your wite one of those women who look at thelr husbands and say, ‘I made a man of him?" anked the impertinent Meekton, ‘'Hen- She merely ‘a she has done her b n Star, AL THING, “Tt looks very pretty,” ald the swell Miss Blugore, who was shopping, “but it ertainly isn't stylish.” ‘Ol you're "way off there,’ replied the salesgentieman, “It's all right. My lady riend wears one.” —Philadelphia Press. OSES SOROS HOEEEEHS | f SOMEBODIES. il FISH, STUYVESANT—has estadiished ‘fA 10,000-acre model farm near Jackson, Mise, which ho expects to settle with white farmers, HANNA, SBNATOR—has put a ping- pong set in the great re in his Washington house. play, but his secretary, Elmer Dover, is becoming an expert at the game. White Wings Will Not Parade.—Now Commissioner ‘Woodbury is reported as saying that he has not ordered & parade of the “White Wings," and thas not even intl- mated to any one that he would do po, It im well, Let us have peace. THE CHICAOO FLYER. ; Announcement is made that the passenger department of the New York Central expects to arrange an elghteen- fhour service between Chicago and New York. This will Tequire a schedule speed of fifty-five miles an hour, ‘and the traveller leaving New York at 8 in the afternoon ‘will find himself in Chicago at 9 the next morning. ‘The great value of the new schedule, however, is that it will enable the Chicagoan to leave Chicago—as a great many of them are doing—in the afternoon and arrive in New York the next morning in time to buy a lot on| smrPMERBON, JOSEPH —th» actor, Fifth avenue and an automobile, as a great many of| elves aa exouse for not introducing them are doing, and become a New Yorker in time for gin. iow, Mishpalasr 15t0 "a Ven a Winkle” the reason that no two peo pret past ml plo have the same idea of that dog | e ook to the increased speed 6 new er- ness be of the new train 6er-| saqioN, CARRIK—1s sald to have Wice to still further increase New York's rapid rate of growth. traded a souvenir hatchot the other day for a pint of whiskey, and then to have thrown the whinkey Into the Am Unfortuna jemce.—It is unfortunate. * mutter the Jeast, that just as we hag made up our minds that |PARSON, BHERIMF—of Portland, Me., had been unjustiy reported in| wh the officers of the Chioag Was a clergyman before elected the Gisturbance ut Venice we etould hear of (ie crew | to his prosent ofce, claims to have getting up a “rough house in Trieste What ts th cloned saloons and off HW to Metter with the Chicas Whomaoever can now show him an THE IMPROVEMENTS AT OVSTER BAY, | WiLL, AIsIOR— hay decreed that Great preparations are being made ut Sagamore Hill] }),;uuure elniue (0 hie arandfabher, far the return of the Presidential family fer the summer war the ineorkgth William the Wacation, ‘The grounds are being @rder,@ new roof has been put on the houre. the has been improved in various waye., and, lawtly we fold that “lightning rode ang being pl n Mhis te indeed taking time by the forelock w National Convention We do not hear of Henator He ming rode, and Varme eaye that be hur po f mproved and put in Dig be # house att) more Ui two you $4 5$6 555664 66645665644. Bryan we belit we rther wee for the ANS INJLSTICL it appears by the « Wurton, the Poiind . ‘i ‘ Ptmwtou pation thaw the lew wlive Helms darting thrvueth de wring Mane run Hur» eur” be were ’ omer brine Ree Wietekes tor mw or tke & ele eee CORKEC TID that an “ that & ‘ mh ee on « » we we » ane te r » eee f We die @ eer nee MMII femmes tani ‘ PA tem tm tans , te) Dh erermimein © Ce ee oe eee “a ty tee me that young lady 54O999$-4O-0H05-9440OOO 199-509 H9-00 Pe a ON THE RooF i THE HIRED GIRLS EVENING EXERCISE Ghe Funny Side of Life. THE FLAT HUNTERS--NO. VIII. SUNDAY MORWING RomP Of all the flats from which wise folks just now will keep aloof, ‘The worat is that top flat just underneath the loose tin roof; For tenants frisk up there in spring and cut up antics wondrous, While plaster falls and folks grow deaf beneath that racket thundrous. ON THE STEAMER. IN LUCK. oMicer ey tel Captain (to frat COULD YOU BLAME HIM? GENTLE HINT bumdie oe Carne s eamme PROOF POSITIVE. tame worl toad 999444004O9009H9 NoDpITY CORNER} | seed 0B st emmene dew ot ww APO and the mouse on the other. ‘rele may be made to revolve rapidly. mouse appears to be in the trap. THE M’INTYRE FLAT. When Vengeance Is Dealt Out They ° Are Present with a Large Pail. g Tes McIntyre flat was on the fifth floor, Above them y was the roof. It was above the other flats In the house, too, But not so notably, As warm and jocund May, with Its golden argosy of malaria, mosquitoes, bock and bills, got Into the game, the roof grew popular. It was popularest with the Spoges, who lived on the floor below, There were twelve children in this family, and they had guests by the wholesale, To the roof they would repair each evening. It was a tin roof. To the MoIntyres, Just below, the sound of thelr merrl- ment up there was as stage thunder, the subway, and Pan- demontum, N. J., all let loose together. Yet the McIntyres for a time strove to suffer and bo strong. At last the maid announced that the Spoggs were to hold a roof party that evening and were to tle five Chinese Janterns to the clothes posts and have a man with a violin. Present were to be the twelve Spogglets, Mr. and Mrs. Spogs, Miss Spogg, the four young men, each of whom hoped to recoive the goods; the pastor, his wife, Spogs’s business partner and six outsiders. They were to dance. It was to be an evening dress, Muffy affair. This was the crowning horror. Mrs. MeIntyre suggested golng out for the evening; but her husband, after studying the sky, vetoed the plan. By 8 the Spogg guests began to arrive on the roof, By 9 they were all there, By 9.16 McIntyre left hia flat, but re- turned a few moments later strangely happy. By 9.50 the heaviest, wildest thunderstorm of the year burst over tho clty, eweeping down torrents of blinding rain until the streets were as rivers “Heaven help the poor this night! murmured McIntyre, y, Heaven help those abandoned Spoggs:”” echoed hia wife. She suddenly remembered how thelr racket had died out on the roof, under the roar of thunder. “Why, they're safe indoors long ago." “T doubt ft," said McIntyre, sceptically. ‘You see, when the storm was coming I slipped upstairs unobtrusively and quietly shut and locked the door leading to the roof. As the next roof Is thirty feet away I fear the Spoggs and their guests and thelr fluffy evening clothes and thetr five Chinese anterns and thelr fiddler, are a bit moist by now. And the cruel, cruel thunder has drowned their cries for help, So It's their turn to suffer and de strong. These roof parties aren't 11 they're cracked up to be, anyhow.” And faintly, through thunder and rain, could be heard from above sounds aa of bitter woe fringed with language A. P. TERHUNE, i THE POISON OF THE LILY. anist has discovered that the pretty flower nas the lily of the valle ns a polson of t si deadly kind, Not only the flower iteelf but also th stem as well contains an appreciable quantity of pruss infesting a concoction of It he va in) a guinea pig, he noticed the ‘hat hag seensinioe eh Me Miia eet ty mnie PUT THE MOUSE IN THE TRAP. Cut a clreular plece of pasteboard the size shown above and paste the inverted trap on one side Near the outer edge of the circle, as shown, fasten two strings opp each other, 80 that they may be held between the forefinger and thumb in such a manner that the When it is In motion the transition is so quick that the | 4 be quite dry ' with all the symptoms of po hyato + Joyanic actd, says the Pittsburg Dispateh: analysis Slot the ttle t has disclosed, however, the prerence of | 1} unis potno: snatituent, to which—strange to say—selen j_| ate attribute parctsely the penetrating pertu 6 ily [of the va The attention of the German botanist pas , 1) draver by the fwot that one of his gardeners has felt + | bimaelf eeteod with dizines miting after having in: | ; raised a bun ten of the walley to his suth. the lps of which were cracked TABLE INVENTED BY EDWARD VIL ' . woe . * e . ” < . ~— the Mew - eer er oe { ( , WHAT PAPA NEVER SAW: The Comic Opera. My papa says he'd like to know What his old folks would say If they could seo the ballets that Are on the stage to-day. He could not go when he was (He says so, now, at least) To a play ke ‘Florodora"’ Or “Beauty and the Beast.” There was an awful row, ho says, And the whole villdge shook, ‘When men camo on to advertise A play they called "Black Crook." And some folks went right out and tore The posters from the fence; “That this play's very bad “These bills give evidence. There was chagrin all over town When time came for the show— Young men were all locked up at home And told they couldn't g9. My grandpa sald no son of his Could get out on the nights ‘They ea play in Durling's Hall With gauze and calclum lights It isn’t so with papa now— tig goes to every one, And in his credit I can say He often takes his son. ‘This shows me that on narrow lines My papa never grew, And though he sighs for good old dave iHe keeps up with the new. THD KID. (ee CLEVER EGG TRICK. they #atd With First drop int anter w piece of Nehted paper, and as the fame dies out ut one end of the eg@ into the neck the decan after the manner of a wrod ® minutes the alr w H an y rior proamure the atmon will force the exe hroweh down ne decanter Without breaking