The evening world. Newspaper, March 31, 1902, Page 8

ve ‘HE WOKLU: MONDAY EVENING, MARCH 31, 1902, . Re1 ® IE WIENING SoRLpS ay t Poe ee ee CADRE AAAAAL RAGE E DEED EOE TE Caneuon Gord. § \< Ghe Funny Side of Life. XZ JOKES OF OUR OWN ANOTHER “AMERICAN INVASION.” THE MINTYRE FLAT. Triumph That Waited the Folks Who Dared To Beard the Janitor in His La: NEW janitor came to the Mcintyre flat’ The house had been presided over. heret by a janitress, a clever, Kindly, lovable soul But she had left) And lo! a man Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter, NO, 14,892 * + : VOLUME 42..... BORROWED JOKES. Tommy,” said the min 4 | Was janitor tn And suc A man om 4] He was a com itor He hud spent $000 and MORE RAINES LAW TROUBLE. Quick worK. KNOWLEDGE BLISTERS. P| thirty years coloring his nose and face and proving Prof, A sect g rit A Atwates's no that Alcohol ts Food. He had a temper, " ‘esterday when a section of . nh ¢ a t "i nie iey eeanlel babnened) yen r . Cerrone rath riping the family to dis: aw whose softest tone was like that o the police force attached to the Twentieth inet re vieene na mune a Sunday dinner, “that, no dese EBM GhI nie Ther iae wr aacond banished ns imposed on them nd acted on their Indi- volted against the unjust con in the excise law complication vidual judgment in enforcing the law ta thing may Now, take files, nk they maint Rapid Transit he entered the house it sour led like a piano bein upstairs When he apostrophized fate ment, th] ware on the fifth floor tinkled [ke a Sw m, it has example DIMETALL for any OF a Pa dren crouched silent and trembling In o ¢ misguided attempt to regulate the affairs of] ¢ Hanna doen . es, | wo after he had glanced at them misgul ¥ nomination | don't believe Greater New York according to the ideas of Canan ffered itt SELLS, hi aas ale earn Oh, he was a fearsome, awesome old Jan ' UNCaN Nie chicarcienee | ‘The morning he arrived there was a coun daigua has been more potent in producing dissension) A FELLOW Caunr. yreaching cago News Mal nigra AhGe Ste MUbEatyre ces weihe and discord among all classes of the people than in prac- ' i his = : in sy ae Gr counanixor yard and then dropping a stick of dynamite on tical results. Eminent clergymen, friends of temper WITH THESE Reston’ Aiiheiparaonicainy small trusting that the subway would be bla the cause of reform Intyre gave milder counsel ance and practical jeaders ) ADVERTISED. BLOOMING HAMERICAN INVASIONS! k lot to dig oy who was digging tn a Jon't you know that It Ina » the Sabbath, except in case of r And in the end her husband harkened unto her play isented to carry it out With the hermic front of the late-lamented Dante! y bearded the janitor In his own janttorium. Without a tremor* MeIntyre began to «peak thus Hail! I have come to you bearing gifts and also a propo- See, here is a brand-new $0 bill I made :t myself. ves Take openly declared their opposition to the law, and now it Napoleons has driven a full section of thirty-eight policemen @u One precinct into open mutiny against the method of enforcement ‘The mutiny was none the less dangerous taken the shape of a pretended enforcement of orders | Yes sir”) replied the youn Then why don't you stop asked having} * good ma ait thin in a came of nevesmity I tear it in half, see? I give you one of the h COME HIGH he young philosmher, 4 eil GET A BIT OF SLEEP )} 7 THESE TOIMES 7 a horse n't fish with att hicago News, P] tt It won't bite Now, df at the end of this year you've at was, however, {nevitable, as it was the reeult of « f | treated the Mcintyre family well Pl give you the other half. ditions which had become intolerable. It threatens the TO HOLD * | You can then paste the (wo halves together and have a per- discipline and efficiency of entire > Department! e pulp s lived he he asked ¢ | fectly ood $20 bill If, on the other hand, you treat us badly r Simniteation - a not more} suse he-couldn't of any: | OF Neglect us, Pll destroy my je bith" ‘lt daleg seee ae on re We a " nade CBS REED Lae f vat The janitor, with tears in 2 es. escorted Mcintyre to seiports po eer ente moyen enna. alee eicat : nas vk the indignant lady who@ | nis own door, brushing imaginary flecks of dust from his vent the orderly « harmless toleration of the open]. roe { xrown-up daughter in’, | coat collar saloon on Sunday | . LiMn, { ered, “as if 1 could And then set in an era of prosperity the like of which has {3 - \ , i Anvwoere wo very, very D | ne'er been seen At least, it was prosperity for the Me- Mee tian ¢ i Pee [soe Ot RMDIce i oter abe Akay ibs Song axartribine Intyres For the other tenants it was torture Tf there waa baad rien Seiten : ada e ua i only a certain amount of heat in the furnace, it was all Ld seth pak is . na inet Wa /aldlagrace) to) Arzotis . >. | turned tnto the MeIntyre flat, while the other tenants used tions of Gr > i w h aga Nor so STUPID q Loge 4 : se URES Rg UC } 1 discharged my former 2. | thelr radiatorn to freeze ice-cream on. The McIntyre awn- eetatce ont on ate PFO RARER RUC ARRID UE RUSS He EI AES a auae | discovered that he ® | (NaS were hung a month earlier than any other person's. The caeare rer sulorithe ay au thenecaey a king | @* man was beaten into insenaibility for daring to ask Me- pe CIDA, Fy wines: Rnd SONNE Ol iriyre tn, pay Ria! bUl.. “TeaGaemen| must carcy Up all gooue PARTRIDGE ON TRIAL. | ‘ $ Perea need have tear on | BY Nand and wipe ther feet on the mat, when going to the hay ! » the murder | 2 te i good tor nersie cinema ec ooLtianE Non have no fear OnE | Meintyrea The dumbwaiter could be used by no other tens PasHOUmULLOEy LORY, itave ao : ; js 1 } gia aarti se \tecHeitere « | AMf. because the MeIntyres might need it in an hour or so. of McAuliffe it n late for Commissioner Part : ie soon whether ama discove me : ba The janitor even offered to sing the McIntyre children ta es ; t n > sing tyre eh ridge to take efficient action to solve the “mystery,” | 6 Fa t : $ | sleep, and would have done it had not the Board of Health 8 0! eputati ‘ £ of ( -{iz SURE METHOD. « | Stopped him. As tt was he invited the children to upset the Beater ts one reputadlon) ma tat OC HIS ceDart| Mit F eee onder mista the beat? | ash cans all over the sidewalk. He said It would be a nice, Fama an aplhe Of tio: prot ns nactivity of the paltes.) (1 told vou you might kire my hand cut what a woman thinks 4,| cunning little game for them. McIntyre's credit went up all interest in the case has not died out and the situation | + but you kissed my lips, too How dare i me over the neighborhood. Seeing the Janitor thus cringe to ains c as the week after the murder. | + ey Marry her —Philadetpnia | him the neighvora began to fancy he must be Rockefeller or eee the sam! wa week ; j i oe c DS Ain: a itandztecmauthieslelenceats mi i war Pil’ © | Prince Henry disguised asa flat-dweller. His employer heard. All that is nee to bring the whole dark story | % gaou enough for: +s =m: Pilarlitiandlralsed nisi pay. Wt Heht of justice is that the Commissioner of} f QUALIFIED. + | At the end of the year McIntyre appeared again before the Police shall show that his courage and determination | : NO WORE EXCIT Jester 1 believe yner will make a janie Hat as kuarded by four armed policemen, and. g aS he yme day us he ° @re on a par with his authority. If he possesses those) « Ate you glad rene o auffeur some da . a Ae eek landionl Gen avetioeal GuTecieeslaz Genie: ° ve no eemolutions to a has fi 7 qualities which belong to his position he has only to}. Tot Jester-Yes, he almost ran over achild T'] and that vou leave to-morrow. You have half of a $20 bill take his stand, to declare himself, to make use of the) 7 = | last week —Ohio State Journal * | of mine Now, that torn half is of no use to you, while, to . t his 4 it t » of the] © pret | * | me, who have the other hat means $2 So I'll give you resour BEE Sapna ne RO LO OYE PO ONL ORE NOCLBG ILS coviuni witeltald imershelwas, RoInglt6 { SEVERE OPERATION. Z| cents for your half of the bill’ foulest blots that theireccril ots Newsvork | S give you a lovely pair of lovely drawing ¢ i want remove | And before the janitor could recover from the shock the It rests with him ey af the minds of the | stem yortieres for an Easter iH felis { niotraine? cereal ee reas Spl ERE maaiees ed , a ae ea mijnnt italiteene ‘ ; © She did And 1 gave her a pea | yned Doctor (after a brief ink, dear.’ Melntyre remag' to hin wife a few kel Peer ESS = OU ta wl Bes 3 am pipe and two boxes | | jon—Nothing but a guillotine will | moments later Ml go away for a day of two. This place uy ange inactivity in the crucial teat} ¢ y do that, madam.—Chicago Tribune. #| n't good for my health just at present. [ve 4 up $20 of his ability to cope with the very worst elements of | * that will pay our expenses” A. P. TERHUNB. that CHUN Aaa Tt f . Foren eo od ea * ulin a rat em which he was pledged to reform cust : i Aacith tind 1 a one’s Tame Mee mit yes 1e Spaniard ow { + an Metoonay tamed the mice in OMEBODIES. FOOTLIGHTS. m 90 they would come from the and | ‘ Personal and Other Points That Were « ke fr . trinh from M UDE-the actress gets $209) whe Nichole sisters, who are appearing a 1 Phim’ ds it any w ry mifather had aon meeting with their usual success, RO STOCKYARDS, of Cotcayo, the millionaire pork- | horses ipimthancaurkdern (ae SI Ae aus. hakt binckitace artieta packer, levler of the bong tong and aditor of the “" ; ns duelag es Raaeiaieg Sixisioe vd are well known In|] XJ Creme de la Creme, the most influential society end FIFTH AVENUE ON EASTER. Sisters Omar Gee ! vie In far awae South Afrien| AIF paper In Tlincis, was noticeable in a full-dress sult Persons inclined to wonder who earns the $10,000 to - ‘ In the ver-| and a straw hat, the first of the season 2 VER DR JULI nay h 5 o 5 $1.000.000 a year nevessary to keep up the endless miles ae then chosen te alar ey own Johan- We were glad to observe among the promenaders Mr. of brown-ston 5 t ; neab Of the stage the ally fron New York are oO Wond ment Lateratu ara rehure bs ALLS ¥ are J0'¥-) nercy Percival, Prealdent of the Ping-Pong Club, of Passaic. } BLACK, © A othe Detroit: milltonaire good-nat sod-hearted young «om . . . where all the money the Rood |) Gey meee an szamplest to would give vouf . Th# procession was blockaded for ten minutes by Mr. G. i ie i Hi Soe {citizenship Muntar be OW. Aback and his family. of Waycross, Ga., who stopped clothes. tae 4 ad other| serving. vs juror ina pet to watch @ passing aucsmolile. It was the firat one they had 4 ever seen and the other participants In the parade were dee trappings of femir md In mee errs ARTHUR the tows H oe gregate gorger 1 good looks) Quake Bast Afrien > f y ‘ i fortunate | Ukhted with the Ingenuous Interest which they displayed. } > there ts nc r moblage 1) the wor MBIBEEA mah | io tomes ta flee to = ath = sishaked ge MOEN real on ; vo ae tore te nee ty) The caretaker of the Vanderbitt mansion, at Fifty-sey- eee wien kt ek £8 Ae who Ind DR i ot \iiee Ontells home ie ap{ Ont street and Fifth avenue, who wis standing on the flower of demoer leve whieh 4 at . np corner, was the recipient of many glances of awe and ad- heh te 4 ¢ for! SC Miss Odell has ah not to be re 0 * Elysees or french 1 rin hen view inj Mration from the passing pilgrims, who not unnaturally ies igh apne ene : id i mistook him for Mr. Vanderbilt, worl of ¢ monarentes. | GILES PROF WA oof Cam fit She) might . . . t ailed the vantshif na g net a trac indulgence . at China mea amie! u oe Perhaps the most peturesque character in the procession liquor, not fee of bolsterousness or unrulines ted terat " pesaifits golfing and rid-| WAS OUF esteemed and venerable townsman, Mr S.A. D. 00d fthe crowd z poly alt) anid aul cieachine cat kind of an| Qldboy. who for fifteen years has enjoyed the unique dis- s Shes = SEE RAITEY | erat leasia an om : Feciseeatal tinetion of being the only New Yorker to take part in the nod » KO to soft Joor exlatence, {ar from. footltghesy t! s BC Ls anagers and hand-painted | Fifth avenue Easter parades, Mr. Oldboy was an enthue Prince Henry mis t mi 1 pigat FERNY the famous siastic supporter of Henry Clay for President, and he took ry Lucky girl! No wonder she is ioture of health and happiness Misa (edell Gas Just returned from one of these home visits and will shortly go we have to » a solemn oath to march in these parades until that a Ungulshed atatesman should be chosen as the nation's Chief Executive It ts at once a pathetle and an inspiring aight Hea he teeta ett Thum. | to witness the fidelity of this aged man to hia early vows, , Liver eneapement ar the Teck Theatre’ | ani the fortitude with which he pursues his lonesome way PERRO SENOS. i Nanette among a thoughtless throng of utter strangers MOST IMPORTANT. | Mrs. Ada Spooner moves into the Bijon _ FRED NIB Theatre Brooklyn, May 5. Mrs. Bpooner See ‘has also lensed the Amphion Theatre, MODERN FABLES \and has thus provided for her two clever . | daughters, each of whom wlll head a xapany in Brooklyn nest season. ‘The The Bald Barber's Explanation. The proce ten years occa mas to what it wi ten years late the gutter v atreet? Perhaps by th: out his pet proje avenue aod #0 furnis Ww crowded into them in voners have made hosts of friends | Once there was a Loquactous Barber whose head was es ~ pects ae att ne Faas red ener | who will doubtiess follow them to their | arid as and az Devold of Hair as the wishbone of an Beg T5eav ail che carabite i a Pa act more spacious quarters. Plant. His hat could not cover his Baldness, which was Seta ain , oe vast and profound. Rn Bande? Who ke pa Minnte Dupree has decided to indulge| Once while the Loquacious Barber had a Helpless Victim | }in the luxury of lthographs, three| in the chair and was peeling the Rind off his countenance | sheets ind A press agent and business | With » frown he began his Usual Talk about the great bene. Pl of her own next season. The| fits to be derived from the use of a Certain Hair Restore. al | on PURIFYING CONEY ISLAND, The news that Commissioner ‘ purify Coney Island will carry may the professionals, grafters and fakirs Row about ready to provide the sea-se: with its customary mid-summer divers) have a tame, decorous Sunday-sch ing to amuse but to wander by th more dulcet tones from the concert u exbibitions of the art Terpsicho: tunities of sudden wealth in games of chance. no trivouty but of the most decorous kind, no beer? It will be |. mild emasculated Coney and hun s of the Dee has deen flitting about tn “You will soon be bald,” said the Loquacious Rarber, “ii pree’s turban for some time. | !eas you Take Time by the nape of the neck and Use Dope has a play from the pen of| while the roots of the hair remain Evelyn Greenleaf Sutherland en- “My medicine will grow a fur collar on a mackintosh, | luted The Rome of Plymouth Town,” | make spinach sprout from an electric ight globe, put fringe walch she believes will give her the op-|on @ ted roof, grow moss on a merry jest and attach chin portunity of her Ife, Miss Dupree will| Whiskers to a anake's back, be « love of a Puritan maiden, tf this “Furthermore, it is @ sure cure for Chills, removes War’ |in the character she has to play, The|and Wens, pays the Doctor and keeps the door bell in o title of the new plece seems to At her| while serving asa Remedial Agent when One of your fa\ |to start w JANE GORDON takes Carbolle Acid. bs —— Want a bottle?” Whoa!" yelled the Helpless Victim. “T have al! the hat ANACHRONISM. on my head that I want There and More. Too. Why do a Ina painting in a country chureh in| raik to me? Your own head Is a desert. It is so smooth Germany, Intended for the Bacrifice of| that even a Wig would not Flourish There. What Isaac, {+ represented Abraham with a 7 ? ? bierird food do you use? How can you talk Hair Restorer when blunderbusa in his hand, ready to shoot} \ Ja? . x rd istaiend your own Poil is shiny? No? Yea? As: me. Ke proposes to Thbieht At gen the felde of June FARTANt moss where £ n? No more oppor-| a ands of) Steward—W'!!| you have some of that ‘47 port for dinner, sir? . i prote disappointed pleasure seekers wil! protest Passenger—Any old port will do me during thie storm, steward The Police Commissioner grows more assiduous ev DBE EOE DOD BEETLES DID OD POOR BE MS ro OLE CO4O04> My Friend, id the Loq Es : <= : Bi z alt Sp wi seh : = iit ids wii hous y Friend,” said the juactous Barber, “I could grow ad in his consideration for the moral well-being of tw Hair on even that Bhiny Knob ag tne upper end of my netm community. In the arrest of pushcart men, ft-throw: | LE | | E Ss F ori T See ee Ee rn ierribie Examnciam MEGS add fekire generally his oforts to purity, anol A e Moral: If your subject doesn't ft the Talk, Twist the Talk “Pmetropolis exceed in good results those of any By HOU ail of bis) Speake from Experience. These z cessors. As for murderers—well, in the words of | To tae Editor of the Hvening Wort seat y give her a) brains would win them ten t tatly toil}wum in an honest business hideous derby and high hat. Won't )J want to make a kick against the length = " i some reformer give men picturesque and|of time curtains are down. = It's a District-Attorney, “the Commissioner is a gooa| Miss © J A. asks if arm 4 navy! ahead y that alllthe great risk they run. Th becoming hats, too? Let people rites a I believe if managers would LANGUAGE OF KING GEORGE, + give him time.” men make good husbands My advice workers fless of sex', | file thieves make almost sta, this over © R.M'CORMACK. | hire a few more stage hands the The King of Greece, when conversing with members of a |to you Is to have nothing » with a yet whe is done and | wages, So let people stop thro’ For Elght-Hour Rest. waits" between the acts could be short- | his famtly, always speake English. He seldom speaks man in the navy. They are very fickle they ar ‘i nt, thag. te: | ly Not a hat | minded. 1 married one and have re- member they atamour of gold about euch an Master Sulcide—Poor “Annie Rooney! To the Piltor of The Evening World ened to two minutes each, This would | French, and only uses Greek when compelled to do ao, His ’ Fs AU ind behave | unprofitable trade To a young man ee , |not only relleve the tedium, tut would | Hetientc majesty draws his own checks, and a perso: to wear this pene rand anaes killed herselt.| gretted the dey ever since HOSE BRUGh. TWh Gaz Tpit tacet. [whore moral principles will not keep ae te seeks pikes locatialasd get us home earlier, ‘Let it'be tried. once had an opportunity of seeing one was ropes Hie 3 : Mae i mis sti ite csc TITIES) Poltter 1 Fvening. ' (Sire) ROBE AD RAXGS: laisse st, let me say that the PAY ofl. being overworked and. overstayed RBA. | that the King signs himedf “Georgios Cohristianou”” or ‘To the BAitor of The Brening Wortd The Profits of Crime, & crook le nowhere equal to that of an 2, reserve, Why should not Satan Suggests Merry Compromise. “George, son of Christian.” The royal banking account (s in T have noted an odd fact that Ive | to tne RAltor of The Evening World equally clever, industrious, honest man. To the Bator of The Evening Worl the hands of the Greek National Bank, but the bul! Imvasion--Mormon elders, preaching in New geen mentioned before, Men| People read of the wealth acquirea| Hen be adopted that they de allowed to ik of his maid to be making convert; Weil, ry As an attorney-at-law and having! money is in English funds. “ » can It be th : aid that they are “in tho enemy's countrys: crowd @ car in the dayttm, ty i the dest polley in more MINO) some intereste at stake, I suggest to pass at least elght hours dally at home 1ST. | With thelr families, as do all other citl- senses than one, © Women | by thieves, This is a great blunder. age $3,000 a year. Yet the few who get| beautiful styles In women’s hats, but|To the Editor of The Evening World. awe 52 Women enter the car. | this much out of it are men whose, wie, Beer. mee DAYS caby, Up etecen! Sn I went to the theatre last evening . f in some trifling purchase.’ ry JOHN J, Amanee batik veges f 2 eee enter, The men ait atill. They are on! Thieves, robbers, hold-up mon, safe. The Usly Hat. zens ; both Guden and Dike that inetead of|, silitematre's Losses.—Ruseell Suge “‘doesn' their way to or from work, and are too | breakers, &c., do not get rich. The| To the Dfitor of The Bvening World: Prof, SABATINO L. NOSCHERE. | doing business Independently they form| mind half as muoh losing a hundred Coy ‘tn a ‘egttt- Salt Trust failed to earn its dividends |busy of tired to notice that women |head of such professions cannot aver-| Each spring sees newer and more Shorter “Waits.” 0 lienlted re Aym| mate venture” as to “have somchody get the best of hive probably melted away by the water |stand. The same men go to she the Boroughs of i. Ive the Uttle things @f Mte 4 ry