The evening world. Newspaper, March 24, 1902, Page 6

Published by the Press Pudlisning Company, No, 3 to @ Park Row, New York tered at the Post-Office | at New York e Mail Mattor. | : NO, 1482! | ACQUITTAL OF FLORENCE BURNS. tn the light of her discharge from custody by Justice Mayer the extraordinary self-possession shown Flor ence s durt ourt-re 1 prison ordeal must be rege vutward ression not cence. (n popular belief the demeanor of the falsely accused while on trial is always such as to convince} observers of their guiltlessness exhibitions of “nerve” are much more frequent in the professional) criminal. Modesty files into hysterles of nervous ap-| prehension where more hardened natures endure the} tearing of their character into Latters unmoved = The calm | gelf-contro! displayed by Florence Burne broke all court- room records. , Miss Burns being purged of suspicion and set free by Justice Mayer, the next move of the State to clear up the Brooks mystery, more mysterious now than ever be fore, will be to hold the deferred Coroner's inquest. The Coroner will have only leavings and ravetlings of evi- @enee to deal with, but he may unexpectedly find an | eriminating clue. The theory of the young commis merchant's suicide is untenable; he ly dered. Was the deed done by “friend?” The catalogue of amorous conquests Bot as long as Leporello’s. but the list {s ample De that the name of the murderer fs on that list actually, was obvi a slighted and fiscard Whe Real Law-Mak er.—The fate (| canal legislation w fe quest! : | the Legislature of New sits at Alban the $ G@wand Central Station at Forty-second vtreet “WHAT'S IN A NAME" cl The flreboat which was erstwhile called Robert Wan Wyck has been reclristencd William L. Strong. and mow the Correction Department steamer Jobn F. Car- roll has undergone a change of name and ts un-Tam manyized as the Massasoit. | It ts a wise and commendable measure emove from ITY wud Tammany misrule, Where reform can be accom hed merely by a few strokes of the paintorush it would a dereliction of duty not to apply the remed But the important point is not se much to 1 of the Tammany names as of the lammany system and to get rid of it for good. |t would be painfui to think of these new names being painted out in turn and the old ones restored after a brief two years’ interval, To vent this ft will need more than the patotbrush, ft will need the broom and the scrubbing-brush vigorously wielded in every department. Where Spring Cleaning Im Needed. —With « nittee the Drivers, Sweepers and Hostiers Union of the Street-Cleaning Department prepared furnish him with evidence of the soatinuane: of the mma ail system in the [ t, It ought t ‘ r Commissioner W to secure at ment of the law and keep not omy th ut the Department clean PPOSING IMPROVEMENTS. The attitude of the Rapid-Transtt Commission toward the proposed Pennsylvania Katlroud tunnel seems to be that the connection between the Pennsyl- vania and the New York Centra! railroads will be an iavesion of the rights of the Commission, because it will Geprive the rapid-transit route of a certain number of | @ve-cent fares which {t might otherwise coll: Qaawengers between the two stations. It ts hard to beltevo that any such absurd contention | {will be seriously insisted on. It is certainly not in keep- fag with the dignity aad Importance of the Rapid-Tran- @& Commission to array itself in opposition to any de ,Welopment of the creat scheme of improvement of | @reater New York of which it is itself eo conspicuous and fusportant a factor. 1 Wet Se Fast Now—The begin the construction of its great under net Go apparent as it was. Reaitents of @ased vy the railroad are told “not to worry ‘Waeating their premises; there ts no cause tere.” The Central moves sowly about ef publte interest As the Pennsy!van f hie argument Friday before the Ma» @ long period to an individual fs a wor weed company.” } from | | ] about | mat Improvements | | FRIOHTENED WITNESSES. | ‘The suddes loss of memory by persons @emerthisg about what happened in the West ath street station on the night of Feb. 16 and ¥ Forty have since Gergotten it 1s something to interest a specialist in men- fe) diseasce. | What is the reason? Is it to be found in the ence | @f Pauline Townsend, who heard blows struck in the cell gbove her? The day after The World printed her story Getectives called at her house “and questioned her two hours; they thoroughly frightened her.” Many a man knows to his cost how perilous a thing ‘s {it ds to incur the il-will of the police; The World printed @ list of them the other day. George Appo, the Lexow Witness of eight years ago, was roughly treated as re- cently, he says, as yesterday by @ series of petty persecutions testimony. It Is dangerous to “squea: CARNEGIE REFUSES A CROWS, Achilles 1, King of Araucania, in Patago: @exious to retire from the cares of state Mr. Carnegie his crown—for a fitting financial consider- vation. The offer was made to the Laird while he @t Skibo Castle, a king’s messenger with the peount appearing with full ipotentiary power pose of the Jewelled bauble with all its right» nances. It is said that Mr. Carnegie. thrice “approached,” being has offered to and like Caesar, and that thrice he refused the aly denied himself untold possibilities of friend of man, what better territory for his ¢ efforts than untutored PatagoniaY What ‘libraries! What a chance for lectures and on ethics! He might have lived to see Greatest of his line! etectives—the latest of | that began after his Lexow | was | title of} ee ae THE WORLD: MONDAY EVENING, ee a oy Pore acy jeeseueenresses ne says he's suffering. » ne keeps bragging f | I'm haif suspicious that a'S@ f enjoying WILLIAM JOHNSTON. Washington Star? 3! VIEWED FROM ANOVE. t Gh e Fa nN? ny ws rf “le of Life. e | OF THE VACILLATING EGG. : 4 4 By my mothe ise traniped on, 4 : + I'm cornered, I'm stamped on, JOKES OF OUR OWN! )BLEM SOLVED. SS . JOKES OF OU ' . ol I'm bolled and I'm beaten, : e I'm scrambled and eaten- ; . aa ° U know what it ts to be whipped ) 4 SPRING IN SEW JE ee Re An! WHY OVD we as » |e aid has t gs As liver ais ) 4 iz “With care” I am handled, | a pias i events bs ‘shut up when the eurtain rts i I'm frequently candled, b year in Lanes . * “If he'd only invent @ box party that! Without me a pudding is sad, : re do that he'd deserve a medal” — i) 6 In batter I'm stirred up, : STERN RELATIVES. y Phiadeiphia F £|¢ Sometimes I am shirred up— ¢ j a ri time ( pels eis (And when I am bad—well, I'm BAD!) ; Phusband to cive me s al\4 } 3 7G Not 1a time pe heetils Bie Let ¢ With ribbons I'm tied up : 1 eee Col. Huegrase—Kentucky, aah, is thes | At Bastar; and dyed tp: 2 $ spring er FOL Maar . I figure in many a Joke > ‘ - 3 And yet, Colonel, your true oe é é I'm tn cold storage cached s i RISB AND AUG z Aacn! Bacn! wine ee 3 3 If I am not hatched— DoocThe subway i@ bound to boom rs PACK To THE had ss ale (1 know what {t ts to be broke) j , bi Rares le poate er obLEM wooos” HER DBAR FRIEND. $ 2 , should tt Warnes Samer Suaunag } “THY saked me to their reception,” $i Tm a a bas (eatseciatl ould t : 4 'm the bad actor's stipend a arae ita real} aota te aid the girl with the two-story pompa- 2 | > odie /etoe; Mainlet all bnek dour, “but ® wasn't because they like * Thin PIgaor une: ; * It was beca: t nh at My ap: ? a — LaMrt. SONS W oaTeueet you ro imMataiceel 1 case I go down the quicker, ‘tfomely?) a trate eo ul the other girl, impulsively —Chicago Tri- And sometimes I get in a punch ; heat Is becoming to hei veel 2/¢ In viands enticing, MORE To THE POINT. ot a eenteat ens z| 3 ; OGTR ates Take care of the pe ) Sccren = seroadicteasitead 1 | ‘And at twelve for a quarter the dollars w i ‘i ewomknoiOanla You know (or you ougater) wv: ‘ le I'm not what racked up to be : é ; ; aire today fron the Crowned Heads § youl RRS. sid the oragcodtang, © | y B ADWAY. Mis fe. tit that man is descende@ from a mon. $) e af notes far . kes? . us ; Yes impanzee, ag . . « Heads of Amerien ‘ i { de seh vary great, Bat § He Discourses on Bridge Stormers. VENTILATED WoEs. H N fue get it down to hia credit that hed S17 “L've passed through O14 Govlrox’s « broken over a Sa OA ae AA Every now and ¢ ( Rrookiyn,’ sala Billy {ithe misfeets of cat wild son of ais” : ete eae See a eee | Broadway, “on my * ‘Suffering from eh ‘ ke a monkey of him: 2 way to the races, and . a >| 5) | may be wrong, but STOCK & FAILED. SS —— i ——— = 5 why anybody but the : hese was once @ boy who waa{ THE Pon rogNORIUM COUSIN To (arouse! 2} “1 wish to marry your daughter, elf.’ 5 4 en should want to z erly reared, but who fet! among) RAPIDTCODLE UM You'll » asa} bout that.» . ve there is & ques- : ho went from ae = young man; I'm only her father '—De- | on TM stad a frisk i fore Pa troit Pree Press >| However, I have : , And 13° -— 4} ex seen with my own r 7 WHAT THEY WANTED. ? d lamps a few thousand « . f od t faa people Mghting to get ; 1 ser.” explainod the delegation @| pace ;, & Childre 4 yolee)—He stands be- { { tinguiehed clergyman ave had®| “The feverish hank- z ay. att $ many ministers who gave satisfaction 4 | & home that $ } 5 in the pu.pit, but somehow the chureh + anides tn the heart of f Rasy way trori ie S debt has not deen reduced. - every Brookiynite “us H k the mtdie of next (ioe “An!” replied the distinguished i- to All a gas > woek tas? OO ¢. 'T quite understand. Yo. wonders 2 Lonly wish yous My rent fa oking for a business manager 5 overs oE koe o due row al another name." —Chicago meee loa eove ne > - ? 93 0 eee é = 86 tae POseosooeee, nt | skips for the Bridge - - mab mevniTe . ———__——_ — like A quarter horse ‘ ‘. r np | © a} hoa ry on. ) OMEBODIES } H T Wao BUiY WERE IS YOUR Chace! cone y [sano 4 MR. BROADWAY. You'd think hs house ; som |2 Long Island Harry. the Flathush Rapidtoodletzer, making a trip across the East River in his Pontoonortum FOOTLIGHTS. be a ees BF pepe hear ca te hc . 13 : ite _8, ' re department. Now, now a fact there's a CRLLIBR PRANCOIS a it for the benefit of H Lindenthal.—Sammy Suburb and his Rapidtoodleum back to the woods: : E. H. Sothern ts giving an extra matt-| mighty big bunch of mighty fine people in that fair borough past eri Pl nee in Philadelphia just to afford his| across the Bridge. But you don't see them in the Bridge aire” Contry e OF 13 ILL-MATED. BALM FOR WOUNDS. =} charming wife, Virginia Harned, an op-|crush. When a Sridge atormer hits the live end of the hohe has held alnce 1871 {7 cho . * | portunity of seeing iis performance In| bridge and finds that he {s not the only one he gets real ‘LOWRY, ROBERT C—the new Presi- | 4 / Z] cle 1 Were King,” and inctdentally of | angry. He lowers lus coco, squares als shoulders, pushes dent of the Western Union Telegraph | % 4 | satisfying herself as to how Eddie tx] his elbows out and goes at the mob like a whizz wagon at a Company. began life as a messenger | * ° out her In the cast. Of] baby carriage. I once ta pleasant hour in a Chicago boy w he ts managing to| building where large m siked up and down a gangway rae Post A PEA, [4 pull well. but few of us willfand sinote steers on the forehead with a sledge hammer. iinek bear ‘tographed for the first has ever had, or ts Hkely| The dull, sickening thuds and the low, reproachful moans Hime in twenty years ¢ delightful leading lady | © ghed steers stuck to me for many moons, but has been t than truly wif the fair and] that slaughter-house was a @ tournam compared HILMAN, DR D.C he founding of mover mF © wit to add to his coll ah [Iter which js largest In the world HUGHES, GEN, RP sumed {oft California, entered vate in 1b6i LEO XITL—has received $4, quests, of which #06" car the past year. NORRIS, PROF. J School a copy of th PO HUNTI retu umes De ona has 16 Bibl ROOSPVELT PRESIDENT ontempiate Texas writing a ———— "| WomAN’s WorLp. | Mrs. Hetty Green One this fs te tt that ‘ and ever a greater and sings iniat ress’ s m alk ails a viant 18 ang represen irmer ARCHER M h he army as a pri has Seen ate in ay lune three unt has jas 2,6) vo af Speer 9 be the 4 has just 000 in be me in during } given Unto je printed ¢ * © ts sa history ; “Wille, never ory over . Makts fer stealln’ ple. It makes yer fergit y constderin f Cohas of property rerouted 4 i 3 tittle to Mme Pattl Musement to there coud while o imitating weird. thin ¥ silent. The 4 the late ed to be the fascinating an |, Magnetic Virginia. to the Bridge crush. “After slugging Ris wa (tar ough the crowd to the track his Alice Fischer, as happy and bit car n the and walts, As soon as the fir “of 8 rushing | he sees his car he makes ar nerally about six hrough one of the stores} of him res the platform at the same time There ts @ when I saw re rea-| short, sharp battle royal round the loop and they pile on. If the B is in kicking some old man tn the stomach on his way to 4 seat he swells up ike @ plano in a steam-heated fat “One eveti.ng a short time ago a pimply Bridge rusher found @ woman itn his way She had a baby in her arms. The bridge rusher handed her a nice, chivalrous swat on the son for all this someness Was discovered Misa Fischer said good eagues and hard work ater salied for Merrie her husband, Wilitam 5 in London with the oin who | company Mu Fischer | jaw and she went down for the count I¢ that happened ed with Sir Henry Irving's com-| up here on Broadway the male bystanders would leap upon pan Who wouldn't be blithe and) the man and do things to the sidewalk with him. What di@ way? | the Bridge stormers do? They walked on the woman, and lie @ cop hadn't rescuiet her she would have been part of the Camille D’Arviiie ts going back to the| Pavement In about two minutes nd intends to appear next season Herr Lindenthal throws a lot of hot alr about plans te in & Rew opera. Already the quiet joys|elleve the Bridge crush. It can't be relieved until all the of domesticity seem to have palled upon | rushers Kil! each other off. The man who bites puppies’ the singer, and nothing will do her now | tales off fe @ gentleman compared to some of tie crowd Who but a sniff of glue from the paint frame. | hurtle and jostle and slug thelr way to the graverard bor- There is something about the musty @t-|0Ush every night.” mosphere of eorgitestattapbdel ded oe the pervon Wh sw |THE ONLY ORIGINAL JOKES Since the Days of Old Rameses, the person who has once become accus- tomed to it. Blue skies and eunligh! oem to razsie dazsie in vain, and in the cage ot Camille DArville we cannot pe Nery “sincerely” sorty that such fact. JANE GOR: '@ @re, perhaps, the only original jokes written sinee ae ge hm ys of Rameses ll. They are original, because they are the exact epposites of every other Joke you've read. Carping critics may claim they have no point. But you can't expect point and originality in the same joke. Any joke can have @ point. But the purely original joke !s something worth missing the train for, After which modest Introduction, here come the jokes: Smith—Lend me %, won't you? Jones—Certainly, old man. Here it is. (Please observe thes Jones made no reference to the % he lent Smith last wees and doesn't kiss the money good-by.) ‘MADRIGAL. Bummer stole away eo very woftly I ne'er 20 much as heeded when she passed. All drowsy August our long daye together Had grown so sweet I knew they could not Inst Mrs. Brown—Did you mail that letter I gave you asking RRC CA a initleneaea! But when ghe lingered with me Hl mother to spend the winter with us? MOURN Mitel tantperaturel Ceti Bain And Hoag Lit dips Brown—Certainiy, I did. I'll be only too @iad to see te Reach, Fla wicked Improvement in| i: = found us glad- Bi) gear old lady again. (This joke needs no key. Even a Mem he ARSpAS tn which caused her tol ¢ I lost my fears and toceed my [| MOP Cul Me tt) i Miss Palma. an pee Se eantl : Van Askit—Sir, I have the honer to ask you for peur ¢ is visting an aunt in Milwau-|@ °W. Partritce has decided that daughter's hand kee With her a the President, she| 2 he ts head of + Ota Gotrox—I only ask my daughter's happiness. If she x 6 Cuba from New York Maren! ‘It seems a in bi t be a bird ‘Tel yer what. dese steam autymoniles {es great fer hitchin’ onto In 4 loves you, you may have her. and w e time for the in-| ¥ to be Chief ! wr 1A wea All de comforts of ¥ steam-heated flat” e Cao ¢ ‘ augurat which takes place Aprtt }. DOME Oe ee eee ‘ seee FRED ODODE OE: PO. oot Tibeveizee Will you marry me? om (And the tittle brother didn't epeak up from under the LETTE R01 N VARIOUS TOPICS, |: ces didn't ask allly questions or aay it wag so sudésr, ana he @idn't make any ort of fool of himself, The above is the Vor Shorter Hours, } ts a church-¢ = mar, but | the early 70's was a lending minstrel of wking one of the Staten Island forry-) where these men are I do not get in-| ster Jest of my mew Jestuary.) To the Pa § World [we are sor grad weaned those days, BF omb wasonly 2 boats and putting It in a museum | men 7 aa 1 do when I pass the young ras 3 for gallant Aght| away from cur religion and our God, as boy those days. * generat all-| St. George, 8. L? TI think ft can be beat! men you find on the street corners at ali| Clerk—Str, I should greatly appreciate a raise of salagy. vars for firemen. In no| we shun ) 4 proper around performer, one who could sing | that Irish boat on. antiqui tartan. thus | | times of the day. As a rule army and Merchant—You have worked faithfully and you shall have place els I venture to say, | mi not oF any: | ag well us dance, there never was one ve the glory of Staten Et snd | navy men are brave et EF ge ‘an i, (Thia Joke's improbabliity ts its only flaw) do much that men are} thing that Hi te A whe could compare with the ‘only’ and a brave — compelied for twenty. | Chriatian rman— namely. Unie tbe atl preerson, Poor Billy! May God be Pratees Army al — io ree oo) Young Wife—How do you like this ple? I made tt myst one hours four. The op-| home with our families a e st merciful to him, for he never wronged a|To the Editor of The Brewing World: Re “Wen” Pores Young Husband—It {s delicious. As good as any mg pomition ar claim that seventy-| tend to our churen ae we would | rea bei was all his ante a good, You ask an anewer for Miss C. J. A. | To the Editor of The Evening Worl: mother ever made. five per oant. of the men do not want | ke to. E SHIRT. | fellow in name as well as | soncerning army or navy men and their} A man fell down a well in the centre — the change If that wera so, than these Chicago Testimeny. WwW. a SSiomas | fitness for husbands. I married a man of which hung a rope that just touched! Sport—diow di@ you happen to be knocked out? seventy-five per cent, would rather sleep | Tt? the Editor of Tae Evening World Staten Island Ouries. | who bas served Ave years ta the United |the surface of the water. The diameter| Pugtlist—My opponent was the better man. bei in @ stable (what else can you compare} 1 am @ resident of tbe “windy but To ine Kditor of The Evening World | States Marine Corps and I have ye: to of the well was four feet. Wishing T——. @n engine house (ot) than at home, | 690d old town, Chicago. | must take) 1 do not Uke to see another country | ft" a couple who get along more happily to find how far he bad to olimb he first] Wife—Dear, can you let me have 9 for an Easter Ras? Does that sound reasonable? No, no; | neue with wtatement bert E. get ahead of ue. Now I see that they | than we do. I do aot find him extrava- calculated the fength of the rope by| Husband—Certainly, dear. eet $0 be enough? it ls not #9, but ninety-nine per cont, of | Hughes, who says that Bobby Newcomb | have dug up a boat in Ireland sup-| gant or dissipated in the least, and I | drawl: d in Patagonian history as Andrew| the men, if put to vote, would sign in favor of shorter fireman, when he comes ta the ti taut to the si . fault to, de of the wall, was the author of the song, tA Big Bun: loosed tor be 2,000 years ol4, an@ are| know severe! men who were in the). ve wate, 1 have 1.0 more jokes Just as, gunk but the Gamgutng ‘The average |fawer.” if { am not mistaken, the|going to put it in @ museum in| United States servies and know they are | measure the of the whould be enough te held the public awhile. ‘ the ousiness, | author was Charlie Pettengill, who in|Dublin, Now what is the matier with/ loving husbands, I know that if J go 4 P. TERHUMS, we ¢