The evening world. Newspaper, August 8, 1901, Page 6

By ELLIOTT FLOWER. Story Pub. Ca} (Copyright, 1901. by HARTWELL, ¢ marriage G EORGE HENRY every time he called upon Miss balked at his proposal “Helen Martindale. Hartwell labored under the diadvan- tage of being a diMdent man. Ie wan far from being 9 coward, but he simpiy Yeould not nay “I love you" to the most charming girl of his acquaintance. After a few futile attempts he almost ‘made up his mind to propose by mall, Dut there was one acriour objection to that plan. He well knew that there are Certain little perquisites that go with the acceptance of a proposal of marringe that, once mimed, cannot be successfully collected afterward. ‘There i nothing Aime taking the whispered “Yea” direct ‘from the lips that are rendy@o aurren: ‘der it. Then one day while he was pass- ‘ing a phonograph shop an Inspiration ame to him. Why not propose by pho- jograph? ‘Five minutes later he was the owner fat two phonographs. One of the phono prapha he despatched at once to Mi “Martindale, together with a note saying | ‘ that he would call the following even- jing with some prepared cylinders ur “reproducing diaphragms,” as the clerk | ‘ ‘had called them, which he wished her fo try. ¢ * Any message that the phonograph de- livered would have to be polished and ,gmooth or it would seem absolutely 'ei@iculous. Posstbly, he told himself, tt |) \qrould be well to put it In verse, So he ‘prepared a rhymed proposal, and when | « Feompleted it was of this fervid nature: SrMy fondger, talrent Aream of Ite ‘A Gream of bites divine— * Is that I'll win you for « wi Ob, aay you will be mi ‘He practised this until he could my |‘ with a really soulful inflection, and |/ “then he loaded it tnto the machine. Ha was satisfied, to use hin exproemva phrase, that “It was a winner.” All that he would have to do would be to give her a heart-hungry look and g Teady to take her to hia arms. Bi somehow the plan didn’t quite work as]. fie had expected. She looked pretty and | ‘ expectant when ho arrived, andRas he | put the pretty cylinder down on tho table beside some others, he told hen impressively that it represented some- thing that she ought to know, some- thing that he wag anxious that ashe |‘ ehould know, but that he had found it impossible to tell ‘Then, when everything was in readiness, he got an close to her as he dared and started tho machine. “Bir! she cried almost immediately, “How dare you!" He was so startled that he nearly fell | ‘ his chair, Bails this your confession?” she d manded. “"Y—yes," he replied faintly. you Ike itr’ “Lake it!" lutely’s! “Don't | | she cried. “‘Are you abso- ametess, sir!" Jess!" he repeated. 'Shame- Way—why, what do you mean? th the energy of] ‘a the blamed thing He hastily grabbed pleces, and he heard this finish to what waa evidently a rollicking song: Oh, fall tm love with the girls, my doy, the little ear- ‘As oft as ever you may, Bet If, you would be light- Be sure you run away, He eank back in his chair weakly ‘“{—I—must have misiatd my proposai,”" “be said. <MYour proporal?" she returned quickly, “Phat settled It; the deed was Mone ‘without premeditation and In a totaliy wrexpected way—as {t usually in when @ man propoecs. / , But I'l kill that phonograph man!” ‘he exclaimed as soon as he had time, “Don't!” she replied. “If you must do anything of that sort, go after Broth, Fred! I recall now tnat the phonogra was miraing while he was attending a ‘smoker’ iast evening.” OR HOME = *° DRESSMAKERS. The Evening World’s Daily , Fashion Hint. To cut this Norfolk sult for a boy of eight years of age 43-4 yards of ma- terial 77 inches wide or 2 ards Hor © inches wide will be required AMISLAID PROPOSAL} THE KE Af GLADHAND BEACH. By T. E. POWERS. p88 6 obo ADD4 08-5 SEPHES-H-O8 Gladhand Beach {s the Garden Spot of the Shore. Thitherward In the cool of the evening repair Willie Loozer and the Girl who Swim They find the tide is out, but the mosquitoes are in. They wade into the sad, sad sea, and every mosquito In the county Invites his best girl to the beefsteak dinner and saengerfest. The tide Is 80 low that Willle and the Girl at last fancy, from the cockney accent of the mosquitoes’ buzz, that they must be nearing dear old Eng- land's shores. ~~. . a! As they turn back toward Gladhand Beach the tide politely turns also. (Even a tide will turn if you tread on it, Just as the waves moan when you stamp on their undertow.) The Girl who Swims gets tired and Willie has the pleasure of saving her life by « swimming ashore with her. She nobly increases the mortality in « Morquitoville by turning his unprotected head Into a slaughter- house. EP Ries £ Seriya ae Sicte ‘The last boat to New York begins to whistle from the end of the pler, and the wearled bunch of visitors leave Gladhand Beach at the rate of a mile a second. Those who prefer dignity to speed have the pleasure of returning by trolley. u (5 The moon takes one glance at the loving couples aboard the boat Sloppy Days, then sidesteps behind a cloud. The couples don't mind, though. It’s an unwritten law there that no one shall rub- ber. No one wants to. They are all better employed. Those who elect to ride home by trolley are happy till the car stops in the centre of a swamp. Then the advent of the gentle swamp denizens, who come to give them c surprise party, sends the revellers against the ropes with barely strength enough to last out the round, The conductor tries to exterminate the mosquitoes by spraying the passengers with kerosene, iSO ARETE 2 ‘ Se 3/9 a bess Published by the Presa Publishing Company, 63 to & PARK ROW, New York. Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter. “ALL _-— : ALL OUT! CAR AHEAD! STEP LIVELY! ams ¢ AND, THE PATIENT PUBLIC OBEYS. ae | Ms, Vreeland, the humor-loving president of the Metropolitan |Street Railway Company, did not neglect the opportunities offered | by the last few days of rain. and as soon us they were well under way | Geeeecccccccess \$ cnet ¢ shifted the signs: to “Fighty-sixth Street.” : nicerony $ He lured bridge-bound people into cars 3 JOKER, : marked “Brooklyn Bridge,” and then shifted occcccccccce dy the signs to “Grand Street Only.” He witched cars without uny regard to signs. Tt was rare sport. The rain would be pouring down. The car would stop. “All out!” the genial agent for Mr. Vreeland’s prac tical jokes would shout. “Car ahead, please!” And then through the rain and mud would trudge a dreary, draggled, muttering string of worthy citizens and citizenesses to squeeze in upon the angry, muttering tenants of “car ahead.” It was great fun. “Step lively!” the conductors and motor- men would shout, and there would be a rush and scramble as of a shanks. Mr. Vreeland and his fellow-directors ought really to have driven out in their carriages to enjoy the fun. Tt is most gratifying to see how the Mayor and other city offi- upon the stupid, patient cattle of the New York public. If we had a Mayor and city officials who did not love Mr. Vreeland and his corporation such jokes would be impossible. The passengers could complain to the policeman on the sidewalk and he would instantly compel cars to move on to their proper destination. It is not sensible to blame Vreeland—or even Mayor Van|‘ Wyck and the others—for this state of affairs. Your servants have |: a right to do whatever you will let them do. And if the people of New York have not the spirit to insist upon being treated like human 3 beings, why’should their public servants give them better treatment than they demand Doccccccccocey THE NEW YORK PUBLIC Gets WHAT IT DESERVEs, or deserve The New York public is very well typified in that string of human cattle grumbling through tho rain, but submitting. AN AWFUL CHALLENGE TO FATE, A tremendous responsibility rests upon Mr. Shaffer, in whose involving the idleness of at least 500,000 men, half a million wage- earners, a million and a half of human beings faRanairtater i who look to the wages of the day to supply HAS HE them with daily bread, a,strike which imperils ‘ : baecpamtlihaid 3 peace and general prosperity. $ sLuspert ; Mr. Shaffer and the Steel Corporation’s Qeccceccecoces officials have been go reticent that the general public has only a vague idea of the cause of this great war. The public can only stand by and wonder at the spectacle and dread the consequences, Such power as Mr. Shaffer has and has exercised could be afely intrusted only with the greatest caution, and only to a very great man. And that man wouldjexercise it only after exhausting every means of peaceful settlement. It must make every one of Shaffer’s followers tremble as he}« thinks of the situation, thinks of the uncertainty of the outcome of any such awful challenge of destiny, thinks of his wife and his children and his home, and then looks at the man who, if by chance he should not develop the great quali will inevitably drag down the cause in disaster. MR. THIRY AND SCHOOL SAVINGS BANKS. John H. Thiry, of Long Island City, was born of good French stock in a land that can teach us much of thrift. He saw clearly, that one need of American children was timely instruction in handling money... The savings banks are good, but they won't accept so small a sum as the schoolboy’s financial’ unit—one yJcent. To meet the need Mr. Thiry devised the school savings bank and by sheer persistence secured for it a trial, first in Long Island City, afterward in other places. Now there are 732 schools in ninety-nine cities which have savings banks. Their total deposits are $335,528.16. \ Relatively it is not a large sum, but it represents a much greater total, for each little depositor is encouraged to make use of the regular savings banks as soon as he has eaved pennies enough to take out a book, and the habit is apt to continue. y This is Mr. Thiry’s work—that part of his career that has public interest, at least—and it is something to be proud of. If he had “scattered” his energies, taking up a dozen fads at a time or adopting a new brood each year, could he have done so much? A LESSON OF ¢ THRIFT FOR N To Remove Wa and Corns, ‘tome Know what t* good to arts and corns so that they | will not grow again. Cc. A.M, RY rubbing the warts with castor oll three or four times a day for a month the finger-nails, gredients, rh 1 Caltare the Remedy. Dear Mra, Ayer: Is there a remedy for a high ches I wear a girdle, but it does not help. n (3,804, aizes.4, 6, 8, 10 and nt for 10 cents. to! Jevery night for two weeks, hot water for twenty minutes, the roots I give you formula for corns: Lotion for Corns —Salleylic acid, 1 gram; tincture of cannabis indica, % gram; alcohol, 1 gram; ether, 2% grams; elastic collodion, 5 grams. Apply with a small cam MI88 R. DO not culture would be the remedy, hair brush | you refer to high shoulders. At the en¢ ‘To Make Red@ Hair Dark, of this time, after soaking the feet in Pop ES AI Os a recipe tar . ‘ \ is of the corn can be easily extracted with} red hair very dark. Almost all of the corn) bleach or dye {t, but would Ike some Temedies contain practically these in- know exactly what you mean by a “high chest.” Physical hi should say, If I am right in assuming _as revealed BY LARRI I do not Ike to| four ounces of Jamaica rum. Apply with A clean, soft toothbrush. To Remove Tan. Dear Mrs. Ayer: I am greatly tanned, which makes me look very dark¢ Could you please give me a simple remedy by which my skin would become white again? —_E. B. RY this bleach. It ts excellent for tan. t Bichloride of mercyry in coarse ,| powder, 10 grains; distilled water, 1 pint, Asitate together until kind of a wash, G. F. HERE !e no such thing as m= ple wash for making red hair black. You can use the tea wash 'f you choose, but I do not guarantee ithe results. At least it is simple and | harmless. All of the hatr dyes that will turn air dark contain string acids. Som: of these are entirely proper to use cording to directions, ne 5 Tea Stain for the Hair—One ounce| solution is obtained) The: of best: black tea. steeped for twenty | ounce of glycerine. App!: .| minutes ina pint, of boiling water. ng }Let it stand until eoid, otrain and add| Set strong. enough) te) | He lured Harlem-bound people into cars marked “Harlem,” |‘, drove of cattle or a flock of sheep with the dogs snapping at their |< cials appreciate Vrecland and give his fun-loving spirit a free vent | hands so many thousands of Americans have placed themselves|3 é]and their families. ‘ He has spoken the words that he says, mean a general atrike 4 8 necessary to ieadership, |: , ATE CAREW ABROAD. The Lion in Roschery’s Path. GSS-E84G49004-0404-56 No, this {s not Oom Paul. It is Sir Wil!!am Harcourt, M. P., as he appears daily in the ‘Ouse on the front Opposition bench .‘? taking a nap with one eye open. The nation’s eyes are turned on Sir William just now because he is the chief obstacle to the re- construction of the demoralized Liberal party. You see, he thought he had the first claim tothe mantle of stone, and when it de- “ascended on the ghoulders of Lord Rosebery, whom he disliked, he proceeded to make things warm for everybody, and has been doing it industriously ever since. Hence Lord Rosebery's retirement, after a brief and inglorious reign, and hence the probable failure of the efforts now being made to tempt the once-bitten-twice-shy Rosebery back Into politics. SOS. >for emarting >} watching him. Husband (heavily laden with parcels) to Wife—And you asked me to come with you to help you choose a pair of gloves!—The King. & ". WAS IT DESIRABLE ? ree ee Revenn, : Sy “You look as if you found this place very healthy, Mr. Seasalt.” “Eh, I do; and If you stay down ‘ere awhile you'll look just as good as I."—The King. 09-80-0999-30-00-306-00- TF 8-5-49609O3-9 9979-90-04 ca F6-8:2602096-005-0-0009-9293805,9-090926000000, ® ET HUBBARD AYER. me a remedy. MAUDE. the face in average cases. It may be “ Ben the feet in hot water before Increased or reduced in strength by add- ing to or taking from the amount of dichloride of mercury. Do not forget that this last ‘Ingredient {8 a powerful poison and should be kept out of the reach of children and ignorant persons, Do not> take the remedy concerning which you write me. f wolng to bed If you can, Repeat the foot bath In the morning; it will be an advantage, Use salicylic soap in the bath, dry the feet thoroughly and apply this lotion: Lotion ‘for Moist Feet.—Perchloride of Iron; 6 ounces; glycerine, 2 ounces; esnence of bergamot, 20 drops. Get a camel's-hair brush and apply this lotion to, the feet at night and morning. At. tek the etion has dried: dust the feet leanme Fee: Dear ois. Ayer: ae During, hot” weather my teet seem swollen and have a burning fd Steh- *] without | watch. To the Faltor of The »Tatate | gives one the best fun in every way of question Is an equal division of we. ) | unttke one. _ (SCIENCE FOR YOUNG FOLKS Some Points of interest. F= mathematical propositions are susceptible of demonstration in @ way #0 simple that the professor, With his paper on his blackboard full of. dlearmuns and ngures, merely stares wz amazement. Take, for example, that well-known theorem of geometry—the surface of a sphere {x equal to four times the surface of a great circle. Many young readers, says the Philae delphin Record, are studying, or have studied, geometry, no doubt, and will remember the orthodox mathematical way of demonstrating that proposition. *. let us show them the unprofes- onal way of doing tt. A xreat circle, as everybody knows, ia the section made in a sphere by @ plane passing through Ite centre; the radlus of the great circle, therefore, is equal to the radius of the sphere. Now, take a round wooden ball, ‘oquet ball, and saw it In two ntre, thus making two hemispheres. Put one of them on a table, flat part down, and in the top of the rounded part drive a tack. Attach a cord to the tack and wind It around the surface of the hemisphere, as,a dord ts wound around a spinning top, so that {t will exactly cover the surface; then cut the cord where you stopped winding. Now, drive a tack in the centre of the t part of the other hemispheré and, wing tled a cord to the tack, wind the rd around, pressing t down on the flat surface until the latter {s entirely cove ered. Then cut the cord and you will find that it 1s exactly one-half as long as the con! that you wound around the outer surface of the other hemisphere, Thus you will have proved that the surface of a hemisphere {s equal to twite th- surface of a great circle, and that, therefore, the surface of a whole here is equal to four times ure face of a great circle, ——<——_ LETTERS THE PEOPLE. EVERYBODY'S COLUMN The y Motorm: To the Filttor of The Evening World: Next time you,ride on a cable ca watch the motorman. He {s worth watching. I always used to imagine his sole duty was to stand there, stopping the car. But I took to He continuously plays on the on the brake as a planist pla! 1 piano, turning, twisting, regulating, a@- justing speed, &c, His hand on the brake is never idle. Yet he does 1 ail once glancing at the drake. man and amusing to A. HENRY VARNUG&L me for a Club. ping World: ‘A few boys organized a social etd, and not knowing what name to give to the club we have the pleasure of ask- Ing readers to give us a few names, 20 He Is a busy Desires that we can pick out a satisfactory name for tt. MAX Ly Dest ce for Least Money. To the Biltor of The Evening World: I've travelled all over and I beg to that your town of New York any place for the least money. While >one has to pay high for the fey amuse- >Tments In other towns here there are a hundred forms of amusement right at hand, all in reach of a poor man. I tke your town. BOUND BROOK VISITOR. Another Socialiatic Plea. To the Ealtor of The Evening World: ‘A strike In merely a patch on an old sult of clothes. What we want Is a new sult. How can a poor man suc- cessfully etrike against a rich man? It in impossible. The only solution of the ., Socialism. JOHN CONWAY, Tact Wanted. To the Piltor of The Evening World: ‘Can any one tell me what I must do to become tactful? 1 seem to lack tact when In ladies’ company and am al- ways making “bad breaks." Anything ’| readers can do to help me out of this fault will be greatly appreciated. MC. a o Againet Nicknames, Prot To the Editor of The Evening World: 1 am a perfect gentleman and come plain now that I have been treated 1am mont particular about my costume, especiaily my negiigee shirts, which are varl-colored and tastee ful. Yet a lady I call on laughs at the care I take of my coatu: shirts) and has nicknamed me and ;|ognirts.” She says it so prettily I can't object. But her great brute of an over- grown brother has taken to calling me “ghirtsey,” and every one laughs, I am a small man or I would thrash him within an inch of his worthless life What can I do, reade me? I won't be called “Shirtsey” any more! VICTIM. Sen Os A HENGE THESE TEARS. Qerent girl! O summer girll- No moré of you we sing. Like whirl, butterfiles that Hehtly Your charms have taken wing. No more we see the raiment fine, Of soft ethereal. stuff, A fleeting vision, halt diving, Of lace and flowers and Mus - In atraight-cut garb at golf you play, And when you are in town Your skirts are o la rainy day, Your face and hands grow brown. And so we sigh and say moist unfyrt, must set a summer ‘