The evening world. Newspaper, May 9, 1901, Page 10

“aris WOKLU: ‘EHURSDAY EVENING, MAY 9, I YOK: HEY RULE MANY HEARTS. a By KATE CAREW. AORY’S TIMELY CARTOON. AS THE PRESIDENT’S TRAIN GOES BY! OFPLOODOO-9-29 as ® VOL, 4... Published by the Press Publishing Company, 83 to 63 PARK ROW, New York. Entered at the Post-OfMflce at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. A REMINDER THAT WE ARE STILL SEMI-BARBARIANS. The most cheering news of the hour is the account of the hing 2,370 amazing now gun—the gun that will throw a shell we: frmermereeereeeeeeg pounds twenty-one miles, Now let us hope $A Loup vorcr, Fon : s se! 1 PEACE. with an explosive which when it is touched off | | F ' that some means will be found to fill the shell} will lov Yoana ee ee to atoms everything within a radius of a quarter of a mile. The new gun is a powerful ally of peace and aid to the growth in the human race. Tt cannot be »f common-sense arried about for offensive war, but is altogether a weapon of defense Its presence at the entrance to a harbor means the destruction of any hostile na y that may approach. , In private life among civilized peoples if you go to a man’ house and he shows that you are no: welcome you don’t kill him, Jinjure his wife and children and burn his property. You simply go away and cut him off your list of acquaintances. If he break: into your house and raises a disturbance, you either have him ar. rested or shoot him. That is the way the members of the family of nations ought to treat one another. But, being still in a state of semi-barbarism and heing about equally well equipped for offense and defense, they act with the unreasoning pas sion of children and savages. And we have the amusing paradox of human beings regard- : MURDER. . « : Fal eats ing as always “glorious” when performed rae wholesale that whieh they regard as at the PEHLOEDFS-3004-5-5-99.9-0-999 €580000-0F990000900500:3.0.0-02- best deplorable and at the worst atrocious when done retail. EREDAR BOP DDL RARER ETS SS RAPS LLL RED BDODD AD DRO OO i 2 f Of course, there is no hope of abolishing war, except by mak- $ ing offensive warfare impossible. But it would do no harm for : $ historians to stop writing falsehoods about the good effeets of offen- 4 é sive wars and begin showing the truth—-that every offensive war E 2 has retarded the progress of civilization, which ean thrive only dur- g ing the peaceful exchange of goods and ideas among the members 3 of the human family. § e : : ASSAULT AS A FORM OF “FUN.” E 3 SOOT RVERORRCROOC ERIE A Connecticut man frightened two girls, throwing one of them : Secon ae CERES RECO eer e into hysterics, “just for fun.” The Judge instrueted the jury that de-} his ‘purpose was unlawful and so were his acts,” and the ji j SOME SECRE iS OF BEAUTY De HARRIE TAHUBEATORATER! cided that he must pay $1,000 for his “fun.” A sensible Judge and jury to discourage “practical joking” in s hurd, or to the con- ible w ream, when it is ready Face Brosh Cauaca Irritation. | Dear Mra Ayer he color will disappear in one [the mass bece te reach a member of the this effective way—the only po p T havo again and again tried the fae Merrbonate | for use. Wash the hands carefully, long-eared genus “practical joker.” i brush; but!my. skin Is’so very: thin a: © borate of|rinse and dry them thoroughly ap-! 3" . seine z 5 F J r tendor that every al hewlron 1 ounce: | ply the crear, A PRACTICAL We need a general crusade against the in disaster, I have ror and used tt in connection wit 4 soap and the skin food, but D out Increased and my #! with Uny wrinkles. As soon as! Ts using tt my skin becom Do you think ta with a very senst: im for Ugly Memis! ase repeat the recipe for black n. BLP, : only real eure 1 know of f vekheads ta the use of the cam-| the persons or the nerves of those within reach of their hands or of shale scrubbing trash with i , a a eG 4a pare hygienic] their noise-¢making apparatus. The day should be hastened when whole species of baek-slappers, tieklors, pinch- Chauncey Olcott is still warbling straight into the hearts of Fourteenth street, and many a department-store bosom flutters the morning after at the haunting strains of “Sweet Inniscarra;" nor can the lordlest floorwalker commen@ much admiration when Chauncey !s in town, And Chnuncey aeserves it all, for he is an artist, and he knows his public. IT owe an apology to his dog; but, then, , noise-makers—all who show their high Reemed te spirits or good intentions by rudely assailing smooth yy brush? ) St. Bernards never were n strong point of mine 3 BELIEVE: thors feciecraiteol( Pee entar tena an state face-seruty all such will he regarded hy their fellow-beings with the horrar with | 13244- on é srooseesess pa Bu CUI ali Miss TL water, rab the! whieh a company of well-bred men and women would regard a man Selanne areal Sick } Ainety-nine eas ; \ pgenctoanine cscs OULOt lute I} FAY OF mig Cay this ointment forlorn on tt etl you ket a goa nenNgces e AW GE ee at ri CHILL SARCASM. HER BEST FRIENDS. ites of great venenlt. In "| latier, acruty the for a mo-| Who began to make the walls ring with shrieks of “horse-langhter lmtareasianiet zal estas en liaeeeeCuin eeened nat. an fa oes ' Me Hone motaboxuseds anil |i | Hazen Ointment--White or two. rinse thoroughly with clear —_------——— SN ee ed ont her coming-out y % In Oh ze ‘ White wax ' t apply a good rty hs mi vt O much I love you T would Nh arty has completoly tu c y ae peel EINES aie NONSENSE ABOUT WORK. fe commletaty ine che aleve Appears to rea ‘i I spring tt back again all right. Of tha: sad shore wheret ¢ : should be ued : atitbes Bie oes SEane isle —— tiene) CHeroatenlia? t oy T should ot use the br to ¢ nada tender for a day A young woman rescued from an attempt at suicide in the F mi Could tray Pluto's halls nor 7 : INRA ThGeoon e young cotesoc ROCOCOONLS RHHLCOCCLIS EMU: t as the effect you dese; jwiteh ha thas 4 you r pias sR vere : - ear the bark, To Give the Mair a Heddiah Tint, | — == _—_____| River deser ihes her life thus: 8 Thrice fierce of Cerberus oust . Dear Mea, A) wards the gates; You publist $10 EACH FOR JOKES. | t | So great my love, I could olympus + i From my earliest recollections I have worked. 1 was born poor. I iw [ scale | as the months, the years passed. Ambitton fled Fe perircalyeeeas gat meee ; | My hands grew hard, my heart bruised, my mind ’ re stand ai calloused. At last the river seemed the only place Mite se nor tremble, nor 1 do, rorortholitahott “1 Teton ine. Every day next week The Evening World will print a joke py crohenoy Uetboltajourqune) Seon 4 . At first thought the average sensible lu- written by one of its readers. ina . Bs oe the (tint Is urmewrable, ahamiio the f ¢ APE Nn Ce ehap cons i : i F 5 x renee i ; ‘Thus love, through déed, might | he wares In hes man being will he disposed to condemn this young woman, Work 4) For each joke used the writer will recetye $10 In gold. ove trout sets ; It must be a bright, newsy Joke—about something going on in New York—and {it must be written in this space: For speech doth f: dumb and still; Would that to you this truth my & tongue might tell; + I love you, love you dear, and —W.F. Morrison, 3 my Ins are, THE KICKERS’ CLUB, Kick Agnis Why shouldn't she work ¢ Why should she think that life ought to treat her as the ravens treated Elijah in the wilderness? utful of wad ¥ 9 kestion, But look a little deeper and yon see an extreme case of a very SD: 1 Human ‘1 common disease—a disense that springs from bad education. Instead of being taught that all kinds of honest work are} srrrrcs eeistevesecscscrneasucessccsesisasecessrateorsees . equally honorable and that honorable living consi-ts in doing well the | 3 OR HOME = DRESSMAKERS, The Evening World's Daily There should work one finds, this girl was tanght to think that only certain kinds DEADHEAL. Smokeless fa of work were honorable, and that she ought to be assigned to one of those kinds or supported in idleness, 1 SIaihetinaa Tho vast number of opportunities and the comparatively small/Q |. Fashion Hint, smoking on | number of workers have encouraged a good deal of this kind of non- To cut this surplice watst tn medinm Sree rien a We ; ; 4 , zo 3 1-2 yards of mat ateep faired sense in this country in the past. But that does not change the AE ESGSISOEE ACER BE SACS SEDUCHOGZAU ODHIDUO SOL OUSA NO CunOLe ICeEGCCACoS. eek ; arene us sect) leas a smoking *t that it is nonsense, of us wil! fact that it is nonsen Nevertheless, its vietims deserve pity. They should have been} Name of author........+ better taught. PAUL D. Kick Againat Hronx Vandats. After writing your Joke, name and address in the above space, send ent, to “310 Joke Ei 'SOMG OF THE FON OF THE DAY. tor, Evening World, ft, with this P.O. box x was quite interestin You Start rh ave him deliver Jt before your | will be printed in Tho Evening World of Monda Tueaday, May 14, and so on. ntire announce Sew York City, tin now and be as funny as you can, The first $10 Joke 3; second $10 joke lecture last SOOCOICOICS: similar wreck get away from city Ife it jars me to run @uch sights, Su ‘ople who 6 Gefaco Nature's lovely handiwork are tho lowest of ormantermy. PATHFINDER. Hick Aguinat trareron. (DAILY LOVE STORY. @ °9AYS AUTHOR ject @ AN ALIEN. May i ‘ t Weary Wa xive yer at ad If your Jokes aro good ‘The Evening World will keep on buying and of a most ridiculous Ngure of |¢ printing them right along. ns that?” & nted $100 for it." Hungry Hawkes—No, but dat w ble. ree 2 De bartend: ket Broadway cable ine ought to run o 6) cars in this weather, Ni we parted on gone. I didn't care so much for tho | eeitee tt Ut uD he sn “Ye wa'n't| farm nor the mountains—I missedvyou, |) r narror way o' livin'| We've allers been together, mos'ly—| 1 ‘se'f for somethin‘ | more'n mos’ cousins, I reckon, So I've) 1 Dobbses comin’ out, an’ chey said y “the fact'ry ke ye wasn don't i sighboriy, W ty alt imperative — rattat rounded "Yo J outen| through the house, and she went to the | the yk to be oitteh | do uns has been) The ember that da her | Bag (Doras JPM lUZ A Dare Mesratas ¢ ain’ sol’ nor—nor rented the farm, vot 3 she breathed, ong Ume o* 07 E in, wondering who it could be. | matintied wit tainty was of brief duration, | an’ wanted to fe) Gon't they now? It !s a shame to rid ¢ cooped up in a closed car in thene go: ) geous spring daye, Here tos’ two months now, an’ ye aln'| for, ar the door swung back her cousin's | nobler in the or!’ outside—an'—|come here to climb up with ye. [ve eye % MAY ANNE Porter. vicely to ne : ‘ Tam glad to see y was an’ y ed 1 wasn't ambttious, nor} Seen to the fact’ry an’ there ain't no. kr she half sobbed, Ni Kick Against Perfumery, . T don't Keer for none of tem." the mi with her zed "Oh, Jake, ready to el'mb ong of ye, An’ Job for me Jes’ now ‘cep’ tondin’ % fa biter’ ot! The Evening’ Warld: Spake auaeal ape mas tae RET retorted dtr ba {tne enging ‘room yw) cents Then with a warm flush on + didn't feel UC} kin git’ ES re so cheap. y tor @# cen| f h piteraed a matinee ithe other after- | streets, j . at He a h xhe re-entered the room; and * mountain. then. 1) had 0 comes for Ket ni ane That wis 4 B.A man was sitting next to mo ti approached, she the mountatn he fe d, laughing — boytxh! f ce f "owas doint wi p lows Le planned ys comin’ A or f vards 22 Lysirs eee : 20 = , cheaper. n't be tpint ant} wide will be required ' 3 fen it vole I felt like telling hin to | 80 i ; Khe noticed a tall, broad-| through the low doorway. borhood. So I let ye come off alone,| an’ that's all.’ AER ldin’ folks all troun’ us, 7 n (wo ae sizes 32 t2 \ = {8 breath with carbo ears to git ahead oF we uns, gure comini r pee e Tose sWiftly and stood before him, 3 iMate . fet aopou thin of that ne CI Nervy,” he sald, with obvious dlaap: i tHER fae though | Bhoteetuans Maeitecatartsbs But I was mistook, Nervy,” his voice] ner eyes whining, Ie could ree the rained her face to ls, trang.| Will be sent for 10 cents. : ‘ i Z. wooo, | proval in bis voice; spokevtontolthe RK fy e mottled himself comfortably upon | becoming more earnest and tender. “I| eagerneas, tho longing in them. even In| figured at the thought, and he,’ almost | Send money to “Cashler, The Wests, | moment later @ tho box and drew her down beside him | knowed ;hit jes’ a8 soon as ye was) the dim light. . ‘teverently, bent down and kissed J / Pulitzer Bullding ex Kotts Clg 1, . 5 a STAD R Tey ee RRO ner NE