The evening world. Newspaper, May 2, 1900, Page 6

8 THE WORLD: WEDNESDAY EVENING, MAY % 1900, BES an . A JOE£ZY EXCURSION INTO LAUGHTER-LAND. ‘PROTECTION i HURT HER FEELINGS ty the Prem Publishing Company, 65 to @ PARK ROW, New Tork. 08 the Pret-Ofice at New Tort as Semmd-Clase Mal! Kalter THE IMMORAL PLAY. DAY, MAY 2, 1900, WEDNES: 40 + ereeeeee NO, 14,18 The Dow those Mise This algh graas will conceal me from Now for « noonday repose. LONG'S DAILY CARTOON TREE-PLAVTING TIME. whatoner weartn’ soe Ca | Y f MARIE DRESSLER teteinini ' } you see, when I looks at so many nowt wnterm ao dat I'm blemget to wear} ter pertect my close sibility, m'm; but if you'll wate efi! tb 1 endeavor to got them on ANOTHER ABSENT-MINDED. aeneeenwe nena nce en nnn en wwe eeeee fins! Woe! on KeD ' t + ‘hie mawazine,” t * silk hat ' Awe man with talking with reference to oor dese people dat from @ What he brary either draped were not reme r drape ' jo morale In Rost able n talk wise eee a geen nen wn ween seen wenn cece LEO'S LIFE SAVED iy) y healthy to be begging ” it Laine beggin’ fer me healt’.” sliert, and wht eneas ard indecer bet ymething in every fe the ereat antit Now that seems to 6 solution of the mmora), wheth whole matter, No work eno Immoral | AROUSING THE CooK, Stuth—1 compel our cook to keep an alarm clock in her room. Penn—Dora the gong arouse her? nee, ttle heamstalh ts up in good atyle : nd, that eannot te whousiy fname sige — pivinerrd Btubb—No, t arouses my wite and then ahi ALL CREEDS IN ( NI moral play would be reoelved with genersl or perm: up tre Ale rs and raps on the eook’s iia at = + favor, but that many plays, denounced by prudes 1 delieve in creeds, ant | will sign any creed will permit me to sien ail creeds; but une Fess you permit me to sig reed then Tre to sign any of them ; O spoke Dr. AU JF Rehre ) the Kew Ry are pure i menical Conference yesterday. It ina card ee —— _ Baltoren of the higher and better tite that | EASILY CLEANED CARAF One of the ' H ' i ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' enenied fi H ' ' ' ' ' ' ' H ' ' ' | ' ' ateat water bottle all men may stand \ It is the best thought of the Conference and the best sentence jer in attendance PROFIT IN FIVI N Philadeiph aa the Boys « Home. Hoys and men Play checkers and pool there and, if eo in clined, have a quiet smoke Bo far this relat . unusual 7” Mah ie can But also at this home men anu toye eat to: = patente three sections. The upper ant} portions are of glass, * middie section is of n@ing the other two While this form of ittered by any ower Mother MalteseIhtt they reward you with anothe notjack Tom Pitch—No, 1 was struck by a few thoughts Mother Maltese.flow was that? Tom Pit a Wettcno “loTm t Q000" “NT MEALS. tution known © Dog—Just my luck, They've gor he t oT can't get a " Lief reason for Itt exl#itnor teeemeceooroeeecccccecccccccce. wht wil appeal to the ekaocat a moll aa to the | ‘pittleistelttlefatateinteifatoptajatstatateintoteiafatefete | none gre nec "Eto WOUNDED HEARTS: with By HARRIET HUBBARD AYER + he: # and fenced nf poems at Jone not deal with the . r fe another ee leibeivieleirininimintetelnininlerinteteinininteini-rictets: cents each a dinner including a heaping plate of nbe os - A Wife's Woes Mi + My dear,” he'd gay, “keep back your in this bottle t deed stew, or some other meat. a vegetable. coffee keeps the toe sap ' woma ¢ ff er of ar RNGNSCTHENETIE HIE TANS: For inane te ortant cares, cn for three cents, stewe ether beve the bottt an oA eeremied ard kind hushind, but of mae ne: Wotew. een Srey oe “Pass o re oot akes: for th inte, stewed toma " rage in the tottle, 0! i" , of the week father understand tha’ Paes o'er the pasty toes; for the same price. pi —— : tab enloon acciiaes GAPE everything that fe(!@0a Vly want to fore One month recemiy wh WHAT ONE W AN THINKS < 1 : 2 eaehihie . ‘snd should? Ie pag chs great ule strenath accounts were bal, WHAT ONE WOMAN THINK, wrong. a kerio +e" dul wite 08 Wi aan ins anced it was discovered tha stitution bad ShAsra haotiath (h aeele an tind Ghee: « Advise as ste A berblanal yeh. vnapve tpi $87.34 In clear profits ihe die’ af kia Fan wo , beara er ae aiiagirnagely NL fie a "T never fret Asan item, !t 's (nteresting to learn 1 4 A man cannot stoo eanness without ¥ mNG WARS 6 ? ene Se en ta bes ohne cy 4 Rut brush them all away , f arn from the ty + huebend ¢ husvand Would amy pla LUCY GARIO. Remembering past plensures through sopaagived that on a soup plate full of oat- tell a witaw 41 Wife tet sand grave a step to be take — The trifies of to-day.” lor three cents, there is a profit of one * inadvisedly. Once your husband cared more for ar f ‘oor Man's Pr ‘ halfa cent. > ime ot ne t dave you not perhaps alsr Bi Graing 4 | Rut yesterday he filled the alr "Pheee fects are printed withont comment. ‘They 1 fn adera ever think how the poor ge! thel ms Se oem Mes heal MNTEa seeutbant: sommaint of the een a rim man gives away a large sun of |” fuel? The poor man who works hard when he starts . " a P 5 ee Yoon ot ‘ he general » are always pe whe wonder what * +g go home will ask two other workmen to help him Was on his little tow 5. B KIGHR. lack ia New York of exceedingly « ap and ex ve he had ty doting tt 4 in ft to his eheulders a large, heavy plank. They tell, @eedingly clean eating places for the exceeding 9a Virtue, but It doesn't follow that you It ls & good piece of wood. Tle meets COOOSOCOOOCOBDODSOSOON0ONNNCNNN, pats * ata f yourself ant let people cal when they see mould make « doo VAN WYCK SHOULD MARRY. | Were Emer Comes Fron fret, TEA FOR CHINESE COURT. “11K tee used tn the Immediate household of the Emperor of China is treated with the utmost y with his burden At man, when able to speak, sa eky to # m gind to have How tow and REE RI ee THE DAY'S LOVE STORY. ‘ ' . | MYRTLE'S DISMISSAL. (¢] DON'T think you'l] suaceed tn making * gud \ | shopsit! of her,” sald ol, Miss man, the i forewoma sald Mr Rockwe! It ain't in her,” sald Mies decorating the show-win never saw such @ patchw “Dear me’ aaid Air Rock ' ‘ ' ‘ ‘ “BE SEATED, MIS8 HAZARD,” SAID MR. ROCK- WELL, COURTEOUSLY “But that ain't the worst of it," added Mise Chap- man. “No” eaid Mr. Rockwell. “Bhe's too pretty,” sald Miss Chapman. “Tt agests her, I've caught her twice within the week leoking into the glare panels between the counters, and fixing those aggravating Itithe curtis of hers, ae I'd eut sheet, if 4 had my way. a Ané out she @ woman well can be. But as the days went by Myrtle became heredif again, and thence issued the various faults and beak- sidings for which Miss Chapman entertained se little the heat of the moment, one day, when the veteran forewoman turned upon her. "My place,” Myrtle anewered hotly, “te ¢o sel rib- bons and lace to the customers and de my duty to Mr, Rockwell—not to study your whime end eapetens.” “Very well,’ orled incensed Mise Chapman, “very well, Mise Hazard; fust as you please Only, perhepe, you'd better look out for a new position, for it's my duty to warm you that you wil not Rave tig one jong.” ai . . ee ee *e . “Be esated, Miso " Mr, Rockwell anid, evur- teousty, And Myrtle eank into the nearest chair. “De you know why T have eent for yout” . “Yea, air,” Myrtle anewered, faintly, “Miles Chap- man has been to tell you, end she has been complair- (holly Fish This April weather {s ao ehangeable}ing of ma, and you are gotng to dismiss me, Oh, etr, tone Is never safe without an umbeelia. ‘ vat am I to Got I, whe know eo little how to earn my bread?’ Pilts Rockwell smiled » ittte “Myrtle,” enld he, gently, “your father ant ! were old college mates.” “Yes, sir, T know,” said Myrtia. “How olf are you, MyrtieT’ sald he “T am eighteen, air.” “And 1am eight-and-thtrty. Do-yow consider me too venerable to be married?” “To you, Itttle Myrtle? Meceuse"—taking her hant gently in hie-"T have never, until mow, seen th+ woman whom I ¢estred to make my wife I heve simost tmeonectously, learned to love you, nor do hh to unlearn the lessom Answer me, Uttle Myrtle will you be my wife? When she came out of the tuner room, with fushe* cheeks anf softly shining eyes, Miss Chapman was lying In walt, near the door, ‘“Good-by, Mies Chapman,” she eai4. “T'm @oing to [eave the shop to-night.” (QUICK TALKS ON THE “L.” | The Cross-Eyed Man | Discusses the Tunnel. T seems, after all, that the report of Mayor ‘ i cain Gab * much fuel yg oi dig tien ; care Tt ts rafsed in a garden surrounded by « 1 to think by i ! v he oe t Van Wyek's appi vnc m a tales: | te teland of Nades. near Greses ) Somebody must speak fi wy dees eee a tidy 1g o te lucky Satan RATER, hat neither man nor beast can gat anywnere| |, 6," remarked (he Men with the Whishere While the subject ts « delicate one, it a ‘ would be sks el ; = At the time of the harvest those ool- | a2 be and the Cross-Ryed Man boarded the it ts | P “s MN y Urn win tart ittative Juet k fooltah pride, as apa we loaves must abet from eating fish, | “Li et Fiftieth street and seated themesives Revertheles a matter in which somany’ AY SMART WALKING WN fellow has hed to, and make up w 4 Quarrel to Ne Patched Up. at thelr breath may not spot! the aroma of the tea, | on opposite sides of the eisia “I attended the Be- people are interested we the Wavor. that raatas — oy must bathe three times a day, and, in addition, | mentoal Conference last night. ‘They seemed glad to The Evening World cannot forbea e White patlt a lady friend of mine whom |" wear gloves while picking the tem for the Chinese | ge» ma. It took me nearly an hour to @et there, file taao nas beak. May They Kiest 1 very much | ay night we had a eligh' court | though.” rete the a ils ae 1 . pnaider and : «hae Desens whe misunderstandt fear will prove fatal to ¢ 5 me | Not as nearly an hour ee if ft had talten you twles fe geome sensible woman into life partner ak call ‘ ‘it (Gants, He te very angry, WH! renders advise me if 5 31 as nearly,” amendet the Crom-Kyed Man, steruly. whip with him. eclarae S eres ane t = ithe on {what Tcan do to regain her affection? Without her I | AN AUTOMOBILE ILLUSION, | Perhece not. But !t seemed eo. Anyhow, it was Birery man {0 better off with a wite No man t of It 0 proper for Nim te hive me quad plate could not Ive. CONSTANT. | # nearer to being nearly an how than &f & was only py man nd best 3c j « wo have the -tranett tunnel.” erate who remains forever a w. The bach +! wet gsaet before you permit: the, Tet iiss on ae ow If “Yes. That is, tf we use the tunnel, Of course i¢ efor is naturally a veltish He knows little, -} | * oitis : ene lines describe the lament of the pickporket's { | we don't > o> tumnel, why the mere fact ef ite t responsib de Sd es i being there t make us get to pimces quicker.” anything wbout the responsibilities of domestic t} - ——— — 7 A idee nad | “Neturally not. If we éidn’t use the tuonet it weu He is umually querulous. fidgety, nervous, ‘t +| Butterflies, hak he betna fo ¥eles Gad & Gall | de we ne good at all.” fault-fioding, trascibie and wufitted for the anso- + | XT] There are 0M ifferent kine of bu eo. AR | “Bot tf we used it we'd get to places quicker. @lation of others than men situated Ike himself. +) - —_—_—____~- — oe ere ee Et ree ves Be 8 ae en weed it ae a hat brush or a gas meter.” THE CHAMPION TOP—IT SPINS AN HOUR. lea Ge teers s tana Toomer eee Petter off in every way ‘The man who is married to a good woman {s He \s more charitable tn Views and in his dealingy with others. His i | fe broadened. He gets a chanes to study t | | Dature at its best. He knows+s the + 1 bilities of life. He learns to know how to 2 | & good home, |} to appreciate al T love, than whic ibiee and precious are Jess valuable He bears ols share of Sie burdens of society. And there are a hundred ott Diessings that come to him that n (@rer enjoy. } Van Wek would be a happier and better | Man if he were married. He would ther Bow to treat with courtes) and dign!y the teachers and the othe © women of Ne ‘Who are compelled now aud then t gm to on business. Swing this pletere around ewiftly before your eyes and you will see the automobile go <a eerie THE MOST EXPENSIVE WINE, HP most expensive wine manufactured fs not | | Shampegne, a most yeopie imagine, it ie . | Rhine wine from the private vineyard of Prince ard long Will spin It @ whole hour, Tt te started by onde, ond calle Car about 15) @ quart. ‘The . and, while the string 9/| vineyant is on the side of @ bill overlooking the Rhine, which ts not accessible except to human feet. t \ ' i ‘ t ’ 2 ae i. seapeet Jacobus hell th* | gq ragult all the work has to be done by hand. The sous be the better pert of Secreta t sy age lls ening In motion | cranes have to be carried down the hill on the shoul. -* ' ‘ exact While a wonder in tte way, Mr. Anthony’e top is too | 20” Of man. Gnd ~ & tues. tas cat ee to Comatose must | 1. ers silent, too certain and much too fine a bit of mechan. | hp 4 a her must look on Quigg as the T te “alka” erik rey nn ail bo the vineyard only @t certain hours of the day, and a the frowes grip + SS ee Srsreaw om 7. th thie way the grape receiven.a favor that dis- iy x ~ pee Hinguishes the wine from that of any other Riiine Sa gine tore at ok ee I HOUSEHOLD HINTS bran ei \ ! ‘ f Dieestial teen i KEBB bodices should never be hung In a ward Insides of a Watch a - 4 a a erechauty aus, nd er : RST WOMAN EDITOR robe, but be leld carefully awny In drawers OF] oy cage wath to compneed of ith diferent B to the Hartford Courant tha : 4 whowld not he washed with soda, as| "tee™ mee Owned aod edited and managed by a urce of irritation and chafing to the 4eli- howe name comer down ty swoders | Ostrich Plumes Dearer. Watson e had exctusive| * should always he ironed on STHICH feathers will be scarcer this year than After two years Mrs Watson| This | From * _— . Of Martfor’, and atier that |cioth, design. piped around with] one spotted pup and six pounds of tobacdo, vary in price from $1. to © per pound weight, Mim 10 aAvine and assist in}vlack glace silk as trimming. The revers are] From the Mhotgun Chub, of which the young couple | Mix Diack jead for staves with (urpantine instead of | and ae the beat wing plumes average about 116 to the Bat she Wolds the record} adorned with biack gince silk, and black and gold] were members—Cne Koglish mastift and a pair of ail water, The stove will took Detter and be aise easier] pound, 120 nignest price works out at about # cents b the couatry, buttons are vstd tn threes piso, ‘ee pour _ 0 tanta, usual owing to the war, In Londos the feathers he design. It should gown, made Ira box one banjo, é ‘and say, ‘Here's a tunnel. 1 guess I'll polish ap my | Dat with It’ would het" “No. Only a very ally man tndeed would do et.” “If any man does I!) bet 19 he'll be croseeved of | have whiskers,” remarked an trate old gentiemas in | & highly offensive ard unecessary manner. | “Yes” went on the Cross-Eyed Man, unhesd@ingty, | “the tunrat will get us to Harlem tm Aftesn minutes” “If we happen to be travelling that wry {t will,” aeeented the Man with the Whiskers, “But f f we are headed for the Battery.” or for Rrockiyn. or for Pompton, M. 3, or for the Dreamy East’ “But s men headed for one of those places would hardly take the ‘unmel to get there, Hea" iat the next trolley for the Dreamy ast,” | snapped the Irate Old Gentleman, "If he thoucht be | could avoid ratniege tdlote that ‘ad “Rte, oft the CrossByed Man, turning on | him with a certain stately dignity, “permit me to eup. wither of us ts @uch a bratniegs Mist se twice as brainiessly tdtotte ’ admitted the Man with the Waiskers, ‘wo may perhaps appear at times more reluotantiy Milotion!ly braintess than if we were only half es brainieesiy 1t—" “Rector street!” shrieked the guuré, hie last atom of reason feperting with the wors “There's one good thing about the tunnel,” observes the Irate Olf Gentleman, as the Cross-Byed Mae and the Man with the Whiskers left the tratn, “whem we travel in it we'll be pared these quick talks on the ‘L.” But the guar? to whom he spoke 414 not reply, In Imagination he was already picking ont the pice of ground behind Bloomingdale Asylum where he hoped to play croquet next eummer, = + ALBERT PAYSON TERHUNE. The Fish in the Sea. Every square mile of sea is estimaced to contain Gomme 127,00), 00 fish iil uh