The Seattle Star Newspaper, April 26, 1921, Page 6

Seattle Star MHAN, out of city, Soe par month: 3 // $1.84; @ momeha $2.76) year, 5 08, Im the State of Washington : ‘Of the state, 800 per month, |) for @ montha of $9.08 per By carrion, city, 18 per week. Bewepaper Enterprise Association Fo and Umted Pree fervica by The tar Pubtiah- Phone Maia 604 e The Untimely Decay ONLY YESTERDAY, tho it seems much farther | back than that, a very considerable number of | our good citizenry was devoting leisure hours and much mental ingenuity to the fashioning of the more or less perfect alibi for home consumption. " And today scarcely an alibi is needed in all the land. Our facility of invention seems likely to suffer dur- | ing the long drought, for these days everybody goes| home, whether wanted or not. | Remember how the good man of the house would get side-tracked between the office and the car, and | would, in one of those now forgotten emporiums | termed buffets, pass an idle hour in care-free aban- | | don? And then his eye would chance upon the i which said 6:30; then he would abstract himself from the jovial repartee and meditate a moment; then he} would wend him to the nearest telephone booth, where, in the most dulcet tones that safely married ee ever gave voice to, he would sing his latest alibi. Ah, those dear dead years! How did that song and dance go now?—Tum-te-tum, te-tum—ah, a memory | revives! It went about this way: | | “Hel-LO, sweetness! Sounds mighty good to hear! THE SEATTLE STAR of the Alibi Ind ustry sure. But you needn’t wait up for me, something | | ay come up to detain me. Good-bye, dear; good- ye. Of course, that’s a poor specimen, but it will serve as illustration. To attain the truly artistic reaches of the alibi, it had to be done on the spur of the moment, when one was fresh from the perils of watching schooners dash over the bar. | Then next morning friend husband is glum and bed- ded down in the morning paper; hair pulling a bit, head a bit throbby, tongue a bit furry; too many cigars | at that conference. And right in the midst of his read- ing the good wife asks, in the still, small voice women reserve for such occasions: “And how did the confer- ence go, dear?” Hubby, caught under the chin of his recollection, grunts: “Conference! What conference?” “Why, the one that kept you downtown until all hours this morning, of course.” “Oh, yes; hum—er—to be sure; conference, exact- ly. Oh, it rather dragged a bit, and then a fellow’s car broke down and I had to take him home, ’way out in Arlington, and I had a puncture and spent yoy 35 chasing up another inner tube.” Poor fish! And he, of course, forgot all about having introduced that ex- know that by tar the larger number of the-common gh vectra namthe forged ob eres that is they are not caused by any serious displacement, tumor, or other marked change? O you know that these common ailments produce symptoms that are very much like those caused bv the more serious surgical conditions? O you know that many women and OUR DAI ** your dear voice after a hard day downtown—where |tra tube into the alibi and in due time had that forgot- = Once upon a time there was a|/am 1? Oh, I’m still downtown; just dropped into a |ten bull to feed and water with the more or less nutri- Se eee te mapoay | |Pay booth to say hello. Any little thing you want me tious fodder of his extemporaneous imagination. it would certainly make that | / to bring home—what’s that? Oh, when am I coming! What are these families doing tonight? Is she fr Doom ic the pubite ea | home to dinner? Well, you see, dear, it is this way: happy, now that he is always home before 6? No need | the city council called a meeting, | | There’s a dod-gasted special conference tonight be-| to ask about him—he doesn’t count. Do they ever get ibd this man came to listen and | | tween the heads of the department, and some of ’em tired of seeing each other hanging about the house and | pape. And vi sdentiemen, | | Wanted to get thru in time for the opera, so we called it | wish earnestly that just for a night the alibi days Phave a pictce of unimproved rr y in the Westlake district 1 think the market should In the okt district just the because more people would hurt than benefited by the re ~ At the next meeting of the Westlake Ave. Improvement club qwas elected president. —————_—_—8 ore . J. of Ballard sends this: arm around her, looked into my face, said: “The hospital for you, my ‘Four arm ts out of place.” And he ‘adds that the verse is “home right here in Ballard.” the only home-made thing tn ; Dut let It go at that eee ‘There were no divorce cases at the all day Saturday, Mebbe e. HE ROLLS HIS OWN the Exkimo’s igloo caves tn on his dome knocks al! the bark from his shove! shovel, but we choose SALE—A registered, milking horn bull $125.00. J. K. Coul- ° average person had much witness a divorce proceeding @ wedding ceremony. eee CURIOSITY People’s business I am not inclined to meddie, in, I'm proud to say, has never been a fault of mine— ‘operator’s doing while I'm wait Ang on the line! one ‘Ome reason why poets sing so of summer ts because park are so chilly in the winter. eee (The white paper shortage doesn't to worry the editor of a Hart- City (ind) paper, who tells of| body being “burned by a hot ” Peasimist's idea of @ good time =. to glance over his pile of rent eee | _A Washington paragrapher pre. is that if sugar keeps on declin- im price, taking candy frém a F will not be considered as grand 3 ALL WRONG “We are lost!’ the captain shouted, As he staggered down the stair; | “I thought it was a beverage, | But ‘twas tonic for the hair?’ eee Viscount Bryce, tn his new book, “expresses a poor opinion of Ameri. "ean judges, When was he in Olym- wa? : eee A New York alderman has jumped nto fame by saying publicly he had Rever heard of Einstein. Our guess that the man was just a bit more than his fellow members. eee ow many members of the Wash- legislature do you suppose heard of Einstein? eee | @oME Morr or THA ‘eILLow" | gecured the lead by ne: | the next two innings. The ma | brokenhearted over the disc! | Springvalley (11) i eee “The appointment of George Har. | yey.” postcards BE. W. D., “is a good thing in more ways than one. We | Mot only get rid of Harvey but also | ef Harvey's Weekly.” |at 7:30, and, you see, that won't give me time to get home for dinner and back again. “No; this is business. Oh, I'll be home early. Of! | course, I can’t just run away and leave the fellows aft- ler the conference, you know, but I’ll be home by 10,! (SETH TANNER) he used blue and red ink.) —I have fost a minnit to afip you —funt returned from an extended an’ while having had a wonderful time an‘ everything, was dis- treased much with the impremion “bout Seattle that prevails thruout—everywhere! ~—we are in to the neck In Quickends ef Bankruptcy ~, finished, just like that family Knocker) after a ease of scariet fever? Many healtWauthorities have aban- doned termind] fumigation after scar- let fever. It is advisable, however, to give the house a good cleaning and airing. Since some boards of health | still inaist on fumigation, you should | consult your local health officer and | follow his instructiona, Constipation 1 am very much troubled with eonett- pation, 1 have taken pilis, ete, but it) does no good. Please tell me what I should take to overcome this trouble. If you will send me your name and address, I will send you an article re cently prepared on this subject en. titled “Chronic Constipation,” which may be of service to you. Address central poimt ete, eto, ete. ¢ be getting very far —that's all —if this is worth anything—yeat —if not-—notl A Letter From lilerly Schoenteld (Exactly as je knocked it out on his little old type- writer, without the aid of a stenographer, except that would return? Or have they started to get acquainted all over again, and rediscovered the delights of mutual pleas- ure seeking? Anyway, the alibi art is gone—probably forever. Ing mega TODAY'S QUESTION ‘Wl you wear low shor this sum- | mer? j ANSWERS & hurried word 1. F. MORGAN, 1530 Seventh ave, | trip I'm likely not to wear any if things | keop thus. K J. WARNER, T11 Pine st—I never do. 1 don’t like ‘em. | B. N, FARR, 115 Bellevue ave, N.| When a real long #tretch of sun shine comes—imaybe sa, SAM M. FELDER, 1019 EB. Pike st. jit I catch you doing it, Tl do | something else. P. J, McCARTHY, 1210% Second ave—Ask my wife —organize (figuratively) an “Optimists Club" or League or eome thing Ike that—every Seattlite must join, no fees, no nothing— nothing but a pledges, ete—the slogan to be “ORGANIZED OPTIMISM AND CO.OPERATION® —"ANl for Seattle and Seattle for All* bloorn!n’ “member” to wear a button with an linked “0 O07 #0; 00, distributed from your place or some downtown office— ~ ~—any blooming thing to help am’ recreate the alleged Seattle Spirit, —do you “get wot I am trytng to get at? —Jerkity but put the Star punch into It and help —the present “amateurish” efforts to do this don’t seem to me to ~—we have stagnated, can we kick ourwelves tnto action? —hurriediy, HERBERT A. SCHOENFELD. young girls suffer need» lessly from such ailments? More eal oom their health by allowing their ailments to continue and de into something serious. wages ts oats ead in the disaj ae tea iu ! "| q i, Ng “Information Editor, U. &. Public Health Service, Washington, D, C.” ce Cockroaches I am troubled with cockroaches im my house, What poison should I use to get rid of them? If this writer will send his name and address, I will be glad to send him a statement dealing with the subject. | Observations I A month ago, King county superior court was 1,000 cases behind, With! 15 Judges on the bench last week, the number has dwindled to 700. Looks like the calendar may be in good shape by vacation time. And dy the time | vacations are over, things will be normal again, if you know what we mean. | Aeattle woman whe called up police to tell ‘em she’s @ Mgamist, has the| The Same Good Underwear and Hosiery—Every Time ‘The Fiji islands have almost no na tive animals, Daddy, bring home some of Boldt's | | French pastry.—Advertisement, (Ontario) Whig. don Day. Herald. Hungary evidently realiees that she water —Norfol Virginian-Pilot. j jane | make @ pair of glasses, complete (of | any kind) For 15% Off Regular Prices Phone Elliot profiteera—Cincinnatt Enquirer. night and day-—Pasadena Post, tottering Cincinnati Enquirer. doubt/ul.—Washington Post. Press-Guardian, it were, into jail, cago Datly News OPTICAL CO. (incorporated) 1514 WESTLAKE AVE. Between Pike and Pine Sts, anapolia Btar, her, What ts more puzzling is the male bigamiat. A French writer says the French are still eating war-bread; and their| attitude indicates that there is something im dict, after all.—Kingston | [4 When we can mp longer blame things en Nquor er war's reaction, we may begin to suspect that human nature iteclf is @ Uitte faulty.—New Lon- Our opinion of “experts” hasn't deen changed by the fact that Germany | ) wishes to submit the matter of indemnity payments to them —Washington In @ period of deflation, put up or shut up means put up more collateral | or shut up shop.—Albany Times-Union that vit her-—Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, Great Britein appears to be @ body ef land wholly surrewnded by hot The teare over lost profits are taking the place ef the old-fashioned Another solution ef the housing problem ts te keep the movies running Begins to look as tf perpetual motion has been solved by bolshevism’s Importation of cheap foreign fabrice makes the survival of the fit very What ts wanted from the Germans Leary buflding devater.eperators almost mob thief. Giving him a lift, as Either the oftme wave ts subsiding or people are getting used to tt.—Cht- But maybe that was the only way to suppress Harvey's Weekly.—Indi- local authorities pussied. 8till, a woman may need two husbands te support | A y \y A the best he can. 6 g can’t be cured by en hetr of the dog e “Allen A.” bears the Label of ts less say and more pay.—Paterson Great Britain's miner troubles are major—Norfolle Virginian-Pilot, VEN the man who is most careful in buying is apt to take his Dealer's | j word for Underwear and Hosiery. Probably the Dealer feels he is doing He will do better, merit and enjoy a more loyal custom—as soon as he cleans his shelves of all the raffle of odds and ends and mix- ture of brands, and concentrates on the standardized line of Each garment of the cele- brated “Allen A” Summer Wear, COOPER’'S-BENNINGTON Spring Needle Underwear and BLACK CAT HOSIERY now the mark of the Maker’s iden- tification and responsibility. “Allen,” the name of the Makers; their personal pledge of responsibility to you; and “A”—the standard mark of first and Today, as for more than thirty years, this service means uniform and depend- able value—merchandise direct from the ae Mills to the Merchant. Te offers the full range of weights and sizes. Once find your kind of “Allen A,” and you can go back any time and get exactly the same kind. You know before you put it on what to expect in quality, wear and comfort. The pledge of the Maker be- hind the word of the Merchant —a service he owes both to himself and to you, The Allen A Company Kenosha, Wisconsin ‘The’ Maker's Mark of Identification om BLACK CAT Hosiery COOPER'S- BENNINGTON Underwear “Allen A”— Pacific Coast Service Station, 526 Mission Street, San Francisce