The Seattle Star Newspaper, December 17, 1920, Page 3

Today “Heliotrope” will be offered for the last times. “TOMORROW” ‘we are prepared to present another Paramount pic- ture. This one is entitled “TO PLEASE ONE WOMAN” and, really, it is one that will not only please ONE woman, but will please ALL women, and men as well. The story is a delightful one, pleasingly told. The prologue, as well, is wor- thy of your inspection. Clever comedies will be shown to balance the bill. The Strand Show Is a Grand Show 1G DANCE SAT.DEC. 18 | RENTON HILL CLUBHOUSE, [STH AND EAST MADISON i NEWEST MAPLE FLOOR IN SEATTLE GENTLEMEN 5S5e, INCLUDING WAR TAX LADIES ADMITTED FREE—TAX 6c _ BLUEBIRD DANCING CLUB ‘The Hand That Riles ithe World Copyright, 1990, by Doubleday, Page 4 Co; pudlished by special arrange ment with the Wheeler Byndicate, Inc, “Many of our great men,” said I (apropos of many things, “have de- clared that they owe thelr success to the aid and encouragement of some brilliant woman.” “I know,” mid Jeff Peters, “I've! read in history and mythology about | Joan of Are and Mme. Yale and Mrs. die and Ive and other noted les of the past, But, in my opinion, the woman of today is of little use in polities or buatnems, What's she best in, anyway?-—en make the best cooks, milliners, nurmes, housekeepeny stenographers, clerks, hairdressers and launderers, About the only job left that a woman can beat a man in ts female imper senator in vaudeville” | “I would have thought,” said 1, “that oceasionafly, anyhow, you |would have found the wit and in. tuition of woman valuable to you in your lines of —er—bustnens.” | “Now, wouldn't you,” anid Jeff, |with an emphatic nod lyou have imagined that? But a |woman & an absolutely unreliable [partner in any straight swindle, | She's lable to turn honest on you |when you are depending upon her | the most. I tried ‘em once.” | “Bul Humble, an old friend of |mine in the Territories, concetved the Mtusion that he wanted to be Jappotnted United States marshal At }that time me and Andy was doing & square, legitimate business of sell. ling walking canes, If you un lecrewed the head of one and turn it up to your mouth a half pint of good rye whisky would go trickling down your throat to reward you for your act of Intelligence. The deputies was annoying me and Andy some, and when Bill spoke to me about his | offictous aspirations, I saw how the appointment as marshal might help along the firm of Peters & Tucker. ‘Jeff,’ mays Bill to me, ‘you are a man of learning and education, be- aides having knowledge and informa- tion concerning not onty rudiments but facts and attainments.” “1 do, says I, ‘and I have never regretted it. Tam not one,” mays 1 ‘who would cheapen education by making it fren Tell me,’ mys 1, ‘which is of the most value to man kind, ‘literature or horse racing? “Why—er—, playing the po—t mean, of course, the poets and the great writers have got the call, of course,” says Bill. “‘Pxactly, says L ‘Then why do the master minds of finance and philanthropy,’ mys I, ‘charge us $3 to get info a race track and let us into a Mbrary free? Is that distill ing into the masses,’ says 1, ‘a cor reet estimate of the relative value of the two means of selfcolture and disorder? “*You are arguing outside of my faculties of sense and rhetoric,’ mys Bul, ‘What I wanted yoo to do in to go to Washington and dig out this (tment for me 1 haven't no {dean of cultivation and Intrigue. I'm a plain citizen and I need the job. I've killed seven men,’ says Bill; ‘I've got nine children; I've been a good Republican ever since the first of Buy your gifts for men in a men’s store and you will be sure to tee satisfy and please. All our furnishings have been reduced; all Men’s Gifts are in appropriate holiday boxes. Buy here and save money on dependable merchandise. Fine Line of Silk Shirts, upwards from $9.85 Leather Collar Boxes reduced to ....$3.00 Fashionable Knitted Mufflers ......$2.85 Initial Handkerchiefs (three in box) .$1.65 Silk Plated Lisle Silk Hose ..........65¢ Suspenders . .$1.25 Garters .....$1.00 Gifts for the Boy > Belts, neckties, suspenders, shirts, blouses Neckties and sweaters all at reduced sale prices. Larg- est line of boys’ wear in the city to select from. Men’s $50 Overcoats, on sale at............. ‘Alli. Men’s $75 Overcoats, on sale at............ | Men’s $50 Suits, on sale at. . .............. Young Men’s $40 Suits, on sale at.......... Boys’ $20 All-wool Suits, on sale at......... All Prices Have Been Materially Reduced. Save Money—Buy Now SHAFER BROS. " Seattle's Largest Second and University agar Se a First and University Clothiers -- --$1.00 Arm Bands . .$1.00 Men’s Smoking Jackets and Bath Robes Specially Priced $10.00 .$18.75 - $48.75 .$33.75 -$27.65 .$14.85 Whole Block Long ee “wouldn't | tun SEATTLY sTAR May; I can't read or write, and I| polities” mays 1, nee no reason why I ain't illegible for | C {An O.HENRY Story a Day HUMOR PATHOS ROMANCE Algernon rles Swinburne is to be floor ‘than the office, And I think your part rer at one of Chuck Connor's ner, Mr, Tucker,’ goes on Hill, ‘is}annual bafin 1 know,’ says I to of wufficiant ingratiation|Andy, ‘that sometimes a woman 4 wynterm of mental de-| seems to step out into the kalsomine to axeist you in securing | light as the charge d'affaires of her || the appointment. 1 will give you| man's political job, But how does | preliminary,’ says Bill, ‘$1,000 for/it come out? Say, they have a neat }drinka, bribes and ecarfare in Wash-| little berth somewhere as foreign | ington, If you land the job I will| consul of record to Afghanistan or | | pay you $1,000 more, cash down, and|lockkeeper on the Delaware and |f) |xuarantes you impunity tn bootleg | Raritan Canal, Qne day this man | ging whisky for 12 montha, Are you| finds hin wife putting on‘ her over |{} patriotic to the West ough to help| shoes and three monthw sypply of | me put this thing thru the White|bird feed into the canary’s cage. | washed Wigwain of the Great Father of the most eastern flag station of the Pennsylvania railroad? mys Bill. “Well, T talked to Andy about it, and he liked the idea immense, Andy was a mah of an invalved nature He was never content to plod along, as I waa, selling to the peasantry some litte tool Ike a combination steak beater, shoe horn, marcel waver, monkey wrench, nail file potato masher and Multum in Parvo tuning fork. Andy had the artintie temper, which Is not to be judged a8 @ preacher's or a moral man’s in by purely commercial deflections. So We accepted Hill's offer, and strikes out for Washington. “Says I to Andy, when we get jo cated at a hotel on South Dakota ave, G. 8. 8. W. ‘Now Andy, for the first time in our Ives we've got to do @ real dishonest act. Lobby: tng is something we've never been | oursetves for Bull Humble’s sake. In & straight and legitimate buntnens,’ sayn 1, ‘we could afford to introduce }a little foul play and ehicanery, but | in a disorderty and heinous piece of | malpractice tke this it seems to me |that the straightforward and above- board way is the best. I propose,’ mays I, ‘that we hamd over $500 of | this money to the chairman of the |pational campaign committes, get a receipt on the President's desk and ltell him about Bill. ‘The President is & man who would appreciate « }eantidate who went about getting | office that way tnatead of pulling wires, | “Andy agreed with me, but after we talked the scheme over with the | hotel clerk we gtve that plan up. He | told us that there was only one way ito get an appointment In Waatring- ton, and that waa thru a lady lobby- int. He gave us the addreas of one he recommended, a Mra. Avery, who he said was high up in soctable and diplomatic rings and circles, “The next morning at 10 o*cleck me and Andy called at her hotel, and was shown up to her receptian room “This Mra Avery was « solace and & balm to the eyesi¢ht She had hay the color of the back of a twenty dol lar gold certificate, blue eyes and a ayxtem of beauty that would make the girl on the cover of a July maga nine look like a cook on a Mononga hela coal barge. “She had on a lownecked Grew covered with silver spangies, and diamond rings and ear lobes. Her arms was bare; and she was using & desk telephone with one hand, and drinking tea with the other. “Well, boys,’ mys she after a tit, ‘wiiat tn itt? “I told ber tn as few words as pow sible what we wasted for Bil, and the price we could’ pay. “Those western appotrtments,” mye ahe, “ure cary. Le'me ses, now! mys she, ‘who could put that thru for us, No use fooling with Terrt tortal delegates. I guemn,’ says she, “that Senator Sniper would be about the man. He's from somewhere In the West. on my private menu card’ She takes some papers out. of a pigeon hole with the letter “S" bver it. “"Yea,’ says she, ‘he’s marked with a star; that means “ready to serve.” Now, let's sea. blondes, Tolstol, poker and stewed terrapin; sentimental at third bottle of wine.” Yes," she goes on, ‘I am sure I can have your friend, Mr. Hummer, appeinted Minister to Brazil.’ “Humble” says TL *And United States Marshal was the berth.” “Oh, yen,’ says Mra. Avery. 7 have so many deals of this sort I sometimes get them confused. Give me all the memoranda you have of the case, Mr. Peters, and come back in four days. I think it can be ar ranged by then.’ “So me and Andy goes back to our down and chews the left end of his mustache. “‘A woman of high intellect and perfect beauty is a rare thing, Jeff,’ says he. “‘As rare,’ says I, ‘ae an omelet made from the emmy of the fabulous bird known as the epidermis,’ saya L “‘A woman like that,’ muys Andy, ‘ought to lead a man to the highest positions of opulence and fame.’ “| misdoubt,* says I, ‘if any wom an ever helped a man to secure a job any more than to have bis meals ready promptly and spread a report | that the other candidate's wife had once been a shoplifter. They are no more adapted for business a SEATTLE returns, hotel and waite. Andy walks up and) used to; but we've got to scandalize( ninth amistant secretary of com-| Let's me how be stands | « “Age S65; first time I ever kney one of ‘em to married twice; Presbyterian, Ifkes| manipulate a piece of business on ) ze A Gift That Lasts and Grows”: Parents desiring to give their sons and daughters gifts of substantial worth and growing value, will do well to consider LOCAL BONDS. Not only do they yield attractive but they create toward saving and eventual financial inde- pendence, Talk this over with us, NATIONAL CITY BANK OF SEATTLE Second at Marion | Court of St. Bridget or Head Porter jcamp of the blue room and an un | | identified colored man are jand feet. They carry her-out to 8. | we hear of her she tx writing postal | |cards to the Chinese minister asking “Sioux Valls of hopeful light in his eye. thur,” says she, “Washington, We're wanted here,” mays shea “You ought to be Toady Extraordinary to the he asks with a kind | “No, Ar-| of the Inland of Porto Rico, I'm go ing to see about it.” “Phen this lady,’ 1 mys to Andy, ‘moves against the authorities at | Washington with her baggage and munitions, consisting of five dozen indiseriminating letters written to; her by & member of the cabinet} when she was 15; a letter of intro- duction from King Laopold to the Smithsonian Institution, and a pink | silk costume with canary colored | apate “Well, and then what? axys Andy. I goes on: ‘She has the bet: | tore printed in the evening papers, she lectures at an informal tea given in the palm room of the Fh. & O. depot, and then calls on the president. The} merce and labor, the first aldede- waiting there to grasp her by the hands- W. B, street and leave her on a cellar door, That ends it. The next time him to get Arthur @ job in a tea store. “Then” mxys Andy, ‘you don’t think Mra. Avery will land the mar shalxhip for min? “"I do not,’ mys I ‘T do not wish | to be a septic, but 1 doubt if she can | fot an ambammador -|and @ genuine document, but it ap-| Brooklyn, accoyling to Capt. Bugene pointed him postmaster of Dade City,|~. MerreN, acting prohibition en- Little Rock and sent Bill's appoint- ment to him by struck northeast toward Lake Su-|tilleries also help. pertor. ‘hat! ° Prohibition Chief are the best prohibition sleuths tn Satisfactory Terms Always THE GROTE-RANKIN CO MOTTO F. KEGEL President) Carefully Selected Toys neil Dolls at Prices That Mean a Saving to You |S sige toy in the Children’s Section has been selected with great care and discrimination and always with the view of combining utility, quality and attractiveness in a most pleasing way. As a result, this store presents ex- ceptional assortments and the special offerings for Saturday are interesting, —Beautiful Dolls —Doll Buggies —Coaster Wagons —Kiddie Cars —Velocipedes Racing Cars —Drums of All Sizes —Express Wagons —Automobiles —*“Structo” Toys —Doll Trunks lalla al On All of These Items the Prices mail ‘Then we| Landlords who object to home dis “I newer exw EBM Humble after - Lands Women’s Aid | NEW YORK, Dea 17—Women | “Andy joshed me all the way about how little I knew about women. “"All right” says Lo ‘I'll admit that she surprined me. But it's the T got out Bill's appointment and looked it ower, and then I handed it to Andy to read. Andy read it, but didn’t add any remarks to my ailence. “The paper was for Fill, afl right, 3 : ¢ IMPROVEMENT the suggestion CARLOADS OF ARMY SURPLUS PROPERTY AND COMMERCIAL MERCHANDISE ARRIVING DAILY ¥ PRUNES Bacon Coming . Ihave secured two cars of the ARMY BACON in 12-Ib. tins, and they are now en route to Seattle for distribution through this store, at the price of $2.75 Per Can WHY PAY MORE WHEN THIS WILL BE HERE IN A FEW DAYS? ’ Will notify you through the columns of this paper when it arrives. I also wish to warn the readers of this paper that many lines of Surplus Property are rapidly becoming exhausted and you had better secure your Army Blankets, Shirts, Meats, etc., before the supply is SPECIAL Prunes, 25-Ib. box.......$2.00 |) Springtex Worsted Union Fancy Walnuts, per Ib...... 10c Suits ..... $2.45 Corned Beef, 2-lb. cans....30c Army Worsted Sox .......40c Chocolate Candy, 1-Ib. box 70c | O. D. Army All-Wool Canvas Gloves, per pair... .10c Blanket ..,..+. ------$4.95 gone. Send your name and address to me and I will mail you the latest price list of goods on sale, Ex-Lieut. Lewis C. Garver in Charge. Surplus Army Supply Store 1013-1015 FIRST AVE. NEAR MADISON. ER SEE eee eee ms — Have Been Reduced | 4 :