The Seattle Star Newspaper, March 13, 1919, Page 6

nth She Seaitle per Legislature—Good Night! “If the bills that were passed had been killed, and that were killed had been passed, the state would be tt as well off.” Thus writes the Olympia correspondent. A vote thruout the state, we believe, inion, @ legislative session comes to an end—without re- ts on the part of the general public. It was not a on that devoted much time to public interests. Tt missed the spirit of the times. With a great world war just ended, it failed to recog- “Mize the necessity for constructiveness, It killed time and measure: It did practically nothing for the soldiers or the civilians. It played politics all the time. Few bills passed that were untainted with tte greed and political pull. This is a mighty strong indictment. But The Star is fully capable of sustaining the charge. Even the legislators who, early in the session, were would justify special lib fanization leaders, are now disgusted. Of course it’s old case of locking the barn after the horse has fled. it is encouraging, nevertheless, that 50 members of house have discovered what complete asses they had of themselves. ‘Tf they continue to see the light, and really come back pledge themselves to do, it will be, indeed, a great and ful day. Gentle Spring While the government has not thought enough of the t to take data, so there are no exact figures avail- still we surmise that about this time of the year the The great American home feeds itself on buckwheat , and rich sirups, and pork sausage, and hot breads, rich puddings and pies and cakes thru the inactive ter months, and then, just before housecleaning time, Nature has a small sweeping out and shoves a lot of sh out thru the skin. Perhaps they are folks who still regard the annual boil tation as an infliction from the Lord rather than from pork barrel. __ And these good people would never believe that when Wing comes, and greens, boiled and otherwise, edge into men that the rash and blisters and such vanish, Hig toned folks, who really regard salads as. some- to eat, and who can take olive oil without a drench- bit, escape these spring plagues, but the average 1 home, especially those in the rural regions where Square meals a day still mean meat and lots of it, Piles-and heaps of sweet stuffs with tca well boiled, coffee reboiled for a week with the same grounds for bstratum, prefers the old-time menu, with a. dash of p h as a spring tonic. ur pictures of home would not be complete without one dad taking his meals thru the spring with a for his mooring ground, and a full set of plasters for his carbuncles. on a@ zero morning, especially if you have valeted S before dawn, « stack of buckwheat cakes, with coffee that will float a nine-pound splitting wedge, pro- mething worth consideration. The news that there are more than seventy secret ties between Japan and China makes it a safe bet t China hasn't anything left except her patience. Our guess is that the president postponed calling " that extra session of congress because he knew it wouldn't work while he was in France, anyway. Wilson's greatness will rest on the fact that he had sense enough to translate the thought of a nation into accomplishment. We still have senators who think that the interests 2° political party are paramount to the interests of : country. The near-great usually try to obstruct if denied _ the privilege of leading the procession. Whatever France may get, it will be a fraction of what she earned. Same thing for Germany. Bolshevism for Russia, if Russia wishes, but Amer- _canism for America! Senator Narrowgauge says he will not be a party _ toa peace treaty that is not made by his party. The heaviest income tax is an automobile that has begun to develop symptoms. Gnats and Camels (TEXT: A WHALE IS A BIGGER FISH THAN A SPRAT,) BY EDMUND VANCE COOKE “Gee,” says I to Casey, “Gee! What's that on your knob { see? Where'd you get the lid? Might 1 inquire where was the fire, Or did you loot some kid?” Yet all the while I guyed his tile, His suit was all the la-la style. Now, why didn’t I tell him that? Why'd | only josh his hat? “Hi,” says I to Woodrow, “Hi! This republic's got its eye On all your gay carousin’. Who's these kings and such-like things With which you been a sousin’?” Such was my yap while this smodth chap Had peaced together all the map! Now, why didn't [ come to bat And make 4 hit by praisin’ that? “Bay,” says 1 to Youfolks, Why are we all built that What's the hokus-pokus? Why is it we most always see With eyes clean out of focus? And old or young, we all get stung In judging barrels by the bung A camel's bigger than a gnat; Why don’t more people notice that? After all, a president is finally measured by the size of the ts. 5) (Copyright, 1919, N. B.A) enough to swallow the political taffy peddled by | the next session as free and independent men, as they | American boil and carbuncle crop is ripening for the t. \ hum, and a heap of iome-made sausage, with hot rolls | THE SEATTLE STAR—THURSDAY, MARCH 13, 1919. ‘A Business Agreement Before and After “Consulting e Lawyer. DITORIALS — FEATURES -BY WEBSTER. ) Siemon me — | { Dov TED Lire U cioae Pur ke Av own. } THE ConTRAcT Hone , iit SAY EMA PRETTY THREWO Busine 56 Mar! THiS CONTRACT oA Wor One ( vm STIPULATES ) war tm To GET 60% CN oF Me 7/ on Boy!! < / \ Th RUN OVER AnD LET my S€€ IT AND mane Suee iy 6 Riorer LAWYER Jyou see 'T | To Be Pemre: \ save p ae rr 4 | Sr r | (Conyna™ I KNOW Tris Commteacr $ A iam tT BUT I our ip ver im om oe | HAR! HAR! } } tars 16 RICH { to! Ho! Ho! ) Wuy THe y Dore ) (| PROmise you ATHing | of im Try ComTRacr! } 7 t j YOU VO ALL THE PROM sinc! Haw! Haw! HAw! — — _ ‘ i y -<m or o* OL Webwer) Starshells 1 | NOW THE I WON'T WORKS WILL HAVE | ANOTHER EXCUSE A newsitem today states that John Leck, shipyard | man, died Wednesday, the very first day he went to |work after the strike BEAUTY CREAMS “Beauty ts only skin deep.” Nothing to it Since face creams «lid on the market, that chortle has been backed into the whadows. You ! can wear the face off a dime, and still it's ten pennies’ worth Same thing with the human dial smear beauty lard on the phis every night for a decade, and wear off five layers of peeling, and atill you've got the same old plate, and « doxen new wrinkles. The de- |sign of the map was originally meant to be read the | way It's printed, and you can't massage an emerald [into a diamond with beauty lotions. Nay, sister! Exquimo damsel prove our theory. Ain't never heard of an Esquimo debutante cracking a mirror with doll baby looks and they've been plastering their frown pastures with walrus cold cream ever since the first walrus was launched, Anyhow, the real beauty salve is butter on pancakes see FOOD FOR HUN THOUGHT Every German family should be furnished with an appetizing let of food cargoes sent to the bottom by U-boats.—Wall Street Journal cee Chorus girls’ wages in the United States are just double the c. g*’ wages in England. But no doubt the English chorus girl is able to keep just as many autos as the American ¢. « .- . A BIT OF A WIND A bunch of cattle belonging to Alfred Lompe got caught out in the field when the blizzard came along last week, and he had a two days’ job getting them back into the corral, The wind had whipped off the tails of two of them.—Wood River, Neb., Interests. A WORD FROM JOSH WISE Th’ man th't dodges gen'rally bumps int’ ’ somethin’ else. see WHAT HAPPENS TO DOGS? “What happens to animals after death?” is a pro found question. Wé know what becomes of cats They become violin strings and genuine sable furs. | Arkansaw | But what happens to dogw is the wurst Thomas Cat, Hot Springs, Ark Nevertheless, James A. Marg is 4 lieutenant-colonel in the United States army eee Mra. Hannah Tax is a policewoman in New York Judging from her prefix she has no interest in the | Single Tax j see Henry Ford announces he is going to build a cheaper car, Meaning, probably, he is going to build one that | sella cheaper eee THE ADVANCE OF ART See Mary Pickford and Oscar at the Princess. See Mary turn a summer sault from the forceful butt of a ram, while she is stooped over picketing a cow.—| Sioux Falls, 8. D., Leader ) ONE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD AS | OUT OF STYLE | Walter Rock delivered an auto hearse here Sunday | to his father, W. M. Rock, our local undertaker, With this up-to-date addition to Mr. Rock's undertaking equipment, the people to be deceased hereabouts may | have all the style obtainable in a first class city, on their concluding ride té their last earthly resting place.—Lyndon, Kas., Herald. we ———— a | THIS CHAP DE VALERA, GO ABOUT | GIVING INTERVIEWS TO REPORTERS | WHILE THE COPS ARE LOOKING FOR HIM, | | MUST BE MAKING LOGAN BILLINGSLEY | | SICK WITH ENVY. | | | —_————_—_—- ———— it Letters to CLODHOPPER WRITES Editor The Star: I deny both the propositions ad vanced by a certain writer in The Star, that country boys are physically superior to city boys and the latter mentally superior to country boys. Take the standard of intelligence from the country boy's side, and the city boy becomes far less intelli gent. Test both standards, and you may arrive at a Just conclusion. A country boy's intelligence should not be measured alone by his knowledge of the arts and sciences, mathematics, geography, history, lter- ature, ete,, but should include his knowledge of soils, crops, stocks and all things appertaining to farm life. [In these, the city boy would naturally be inferior to | the country boy, as the latter might not rank with the city boy in the first test | ‘The tests, as applied to army recruits, would not have placed Edison even with the average, in his boyhood days, yet the germs of almost superhuman | accomplishment were already in him. Yours: for just conclusions in all such comparisons, A CLODHOPPER. SENATE SCORED Hditor The Star: And now the senate threntens to block the league of nations, thereby nullifying the only outcome of the war that would be of permanent value to the world, giving the le to Uncle Sam's profes: sions of disinterestedness and a wish to rid the world of tyranny and war. Fine representatives of the people of the United the Editor | if States, these senators are! Can't we, of Washington, | recall the fraitor Poindexter? I wish the papers | would print Wilson's New York address on the league | of nations again, or, at least, portions of it. Some people who have missed it, should have the oppor: | tunity to read it, and it should be re-read by all A VOTER, LEAGUE IDEA APPROVED Editor The Star: In a recent issue of ‘The Star, “An Average Man" presents my identical views in regard to the league of nations idea. I have not talked with one person who has opposed | it, and nearly every one is greatly pleased with the | plan, ‘There are always sc think of their own selfish in fellows over at Olympia, who bill, These should he island, 1 would also bacco, in the same issue. who kick, who only sts, like some of those posed the * knock at to-| SAMPSON, IRONY FOR REPUBLICANS Editor The Star: Since reading President Wilson's New York speech, I have been wondering if the re. publican national committee found out “what was in! Wilson's head” sufficiently to enable it to formulate | a policy. Surely, they have had one settled policy—opposition. G. F. GRAY, | J Y | | On the Issue of || Americanism There Can Be No Compromise An Open Letter to Hing George By DR. FRANK CRANE (Copyright, 1919, by Frank Crane) My dear George: You are King of Eng- land, regularly constituted. As far as I know you enjoy the esteem of your fellow countrymen and there is no disposition to remove you from your position. As kings go you seem to be a success. You do not have much to do with the gov- ernment of the country, which is being admirably managed by a duly chosen rep- resentative of the people. You confine yourself principally to performing the social duties that pertain to the king business. England, as Gladstone said, is a carefully arranged system of caste. You represent the top layer and you do it very well. 1 noticed in your last address from the throne, which was doubtless prepared for you by the proper secretaries and submit- used ted to you for your signature, you the customary phraseology of speeches and spoke of “my people, armies” and so on. I know how difficult it is for an Eng- lishman to break with tradition. If he and his forefathers have been doing a thing for a thousand years or so it seems like a sacrilege for him to change. And this has its advantages. It tends to keep the institutions of the country from wab- bling, and then it is quite picturesque. But do you not think that the time has come to change your pronouns and refer to “our country” and “our armies” instead of “my”? They are not yours, you know. You are theirs. And if they got tired of you and your family they would set you aside, altho it would pain them to do so, for they have become attached to you just as one be- comes attached to an antinque sideboard or an old four-poster bed that has come down to him from his great-grandmothers. Still, they would do it, and possibly you and your children might be bruised in '# Meat: Russia and the Allies Russia crumbled away and failed the Ll Allies largely through lack of food, accord- ii ing to an American eyewitness. With plentiful reserves and resources virtually untouched, her people starved at iE home and at the front because there -’ | was no adequate organization to place food where it was needed. ! the process. The business of prying kings | loose from their jobs has frequently been attended with more or less violence. Not that I think there is any danger of upsetting the throne of England, for the English people, from dukes to costermon- | gers, are all proud of it. However, you never can tell. These are perilous times and the climate of the 20th - © century has been most unhealthy for — royalty. I would suggest, therefore, that | it behooves all kings who wish to retain ee {| Ano You syeneo) There is just one matter that I would | | \ THIS fae. like to call to your attention. It is a small mamma! | ] thing, but it seems to me you would do { / well to attend to it. their names on the pay roll, to walk softly before the Lord, and to speak to the people in terms not likely to give offense. England boasts of being a democracy and she is one, altho there is a deal of outgrown lumber which she still retains in the attic. Monarchies, if they wish to continue as | ornaments, must realize that they are mere- ; ly ornaments. As such the people be pleased to retain them. But it is well to j avoid any suspicion that they have real | power, otherwise the population may grow ~~ restive. Speaking, therefore, as a friend and well | wisher, I would suggest that the next ad- | were a little too free with their pronouns | danger that you will follow in their unfor- | dress from the throne be couched in a little " more democratic language, so that the peo ple may be constartly reminded that al- tho you are the king, yet you do not mean anything by it, and that as the chief ser- vant of the British people you strive to please. Your relatives, William and Nicholas, in the first person and singular number, and while there does not seem to be an tunate footsteps, yet it would be a good thing to avoid as far as possible any of their little ways. Again assuring you of my most dis- tinguished consideration and wishing you and all the Gentlemen of the Bed Chamber | and the Grand Masters of Ceremony well, | I beg to remain, Yours truly, Animals on the hoof were shipped thou- sands of miles to the various fronts, wasting transportation facilities required for other purposes. They arrived shrunken and ema- ciated, to be killed and dressed amidst filth and confusion behind the lines. Half of those brought from Siberia, it is said, perished on the way; many more were unfit for food. On the other hand, the American packers turned live stock into’ meat in large sanitary plants located in the producing sections, and shipped the product under refrigeration so that it reached the trenches in France in perfect condition, without waste. Says Our Authority: “Had such facilities for cold storage transportation been available to the Russian supply committee as were placed at the disposal of the quartermaster of the United States by Swift & Company, there might have been a different story concerning Russia's ‘part in the final drama of the war.” A large-scale packing industry would be an asset to Russia, in war or in peace, as it has proved to be to the United States. The cost of this large scale industry in the form of profits is only a fraction of a cent per pound of meat. Swift & Company, U. S. A, Seattle Local Branch, 201-11 Jackson St. J. L. Yocum, Manager