The Seattle Star Newspaper, August 13, 1915, Page 4

oseeeves Peer rer rere Patri. ee eae recruit comfortably situated in a/ hole in the ground during a lull in| battle. sergeant. diately!” Mefiantly replied Pat, “but all the th Bid same Oi'm the one who found this hole first!” She bought a fifty-dollar hat; | The Noted Anarchist, Leetares at ‘LW. ui Member of the Serippe Northwest League of Newapapers Published Daily by The #taegublishing Co. ¢ Mam 9400 TWO QUESTIONS because he “sets ‘em up” when his turn ‘round, and often he chirps, “What'll you have, boys?” a little ahead of his turn. is called a good spender—he doesn’t seem to care how rapidly the bartgnder rakes in his money. Maybe his wife or his mother is at home waiting and watching for this boy, but he doesn’t think about them, so intent is he on establishing a “good spender’s” record in the saloon keeper's eyes and THE REPLY A well-known actor, while traveling In South America on pleasure, was surprised to re- ceive the following cablegram, collect, from his jokeloving friends in New York: “I'm quite well and in good spirits. Kindest regards. Your friend ——.” The actor, to retaliate, se- cured a hundred pound rock, had it carefully wrapped and expressed it to New York with this note: “Upon receiving the note that you were alive and well, the accompanying foad | “ity. rolled off my ming!” te Paed a WITH THE “HAMS” KNEW HI/8 RIGHTS Tragedian (to manager)—We A British sergeant discovered a ey Hamlet tonight, do we not, sir? Manager—Yes. Tragedian—Will you loan me ® quarter for a shave, then, sir? Manager—Uh, well, then, we'll make it Macheth—you wear a beard in that, don’t you? He was a million dollar fish, And she used the hat for bait! —Judge. “ee AN OFF YEAR cold, hatching season. eee Miss Go) Chicago and “A. King’s “Get out of that!" commanded the “Get out of that imme- “You may be me superior officer,” AT THE FOUNTAIN one Clerk—It ought to be; TRUE FISH YARN whipped it! —Judge. 8 The price had little weight. AN ELOPEMENT? The dog “Queenie.” collar. |low bulldog has disapp: I, 208 Kecond Ave. 8. AUGUST 15. Sunda, and Property.” Billy Sunday.” attachment. SPINNING’S QUITTING SALE IS ON IN FULL BLAST All Kinds of Satéety Kasor Bindes Sharpened, the doz. 1415 FOURTH AVENUE Look at the first picture—that of a young man just taking a highball from the saloon’s bar, Stand- ing around him (not in the picture; but they are there just the same) are the other “good spenders,” They say this young man is a “good spender” } ‘ comes That's why he (From the Aberdeen, 8. D., News) SUMMIT, Aug, 3.—Sportemen in this part of South Dakota are scarce thle year, due, it is believed, to the damp weather during the a Luster is employed by the Ilinbis Electric company at entire stock’ 4s advertised for sale in that Patron-~Your cream is very good I just The aid of the police was sought lim finding two lost dogs. C. Pritz in| MMA GOLDMAN for a female dog with a 1 L at |white spot on the tip of her tall. the name id, he dog wore a collar with a beer chip ip the eyes of the other So it happens that getting a “good spender’ an unconquerable habit. Now, we come to Chere, you see, is ‘ “ STAR—FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, 1915. PAGE 4, foolish youths. while this young man is s” record he is also getting the next picture: the remains of what once was, without a doubt, a bright, healthy, sober young man who “gained” a “go od spender’s” reputation: Everybody, even including this poor, broken down old man, knows that he was NOT a GOOD spender. He now know s that when he was a so- called “good spender” he was teally a FOOLISH spender, Now he understands that good spending means spending money for thin to one’s self or to othe him, harmed his family, he “bought for,” gs that will do good either rs. His spending harmed and harmed the very men HE COULDN’T DO WORSE NCLE SAM might ne ot make good as a railroad operator but one sure thing is that he couldn't do much worse than s« vidual experts who have the game. yme of the eminent indi- been trying their hands at On top of the collapse of the Frisco comes the receivership of the Rock Island—because it can't meet a due bill of $38,348. sold a while back at $8 now at less than $1. As a hypothetical cc conceive of United Stat any such figure, isn’t it? Rock { per share. Island stock It is quoted wrporation, it is difficult to es Postal stock selling at BUT HOW is the sex heroes in the act of squirtin, Waar'’s these yas at the enemy alptor to carve one of g chlorine | PAMSY LEAVES FoR ALABAMA ON | WER VACATION TODAY, AND > Tl we? COMIN LIWNERE HELPING HER der ReanY STILLIT DID THE LADY GOOD PARTY of tourists passing thru the Os dian reservation in Oklahoma, last week, a group of squaws and papooses at a way st ition Squalid and dirty, robed in faded blankets and cast-off clothing, they presented a pathetic ap- pearance. One lady remarked: “The poor things; they look half starved. I thought the government took care of these unhappy creatures.” : Wherewith she tossed them a handful of small coin, for which the kids scrambled, while the squaws looked on and grinned. That lady went upon her way with the com- fortable feeling that she had, at least, fed a hungry mouth or two. We hope she doesn’t see this; we hate to burst a rainbow-hued bubble. But those selfsame Indians enjoy an annual income of $2,500 for every man, woman and child in the tribe, from leases on their oil lands. Lo! the poor savages, indeed! HE’S A VILLAIN, ANYHOW A SUBSCRIBER writes the Bingtown Bugle: “We are derned peaceable folks and we ain't lookin’ fer no scrap, but every man jack in Bingtown is ready to enlist, bein’ as our own coun- try is invaded. Si Watkins’ paper sez the cities in the East are suffering terrible from an attack of General Humidity. Who is the cuss, anyhow? German, or one of them onery Russians?” A GIRL wi! be bored to death by the love.scenes in a novel and go into raptures over the same line of stuff in a love letter PANSY HAVE A Good Time NOW AND — SAY Tom, You MIGRT Look AT HER. wait of ebty, 0 00; ihe per Wy carrier, olty HE’LL STUDY IT LL indications are AS Wilson hag heen stirred to action toward adequate national defense; but the extremists, who are | to think the administration has been stampeded, and is run. ning headlong into the billi¢ loll oposition, are doomed to disappointment Being persuaded of the n t well as the popular demand, for the presi. dent sets right out to get a strictly business-like way. The best advice, both inside and outside the naval department, is being sought; a sane and ensible program is being arranged. The president, finding out the country’s needs, will satisfy them to the best of his ability, but he is not going to go to the jumping-off place in doing so. What the country really needs and what hungry naval contractors say it needs, are far dif. ferent things. Wilson attempting to exactly gauge that difference, before he gets real busy. JOE BAILEY has wired Houston friends that he is going to Texas for a protracted stay and Hon. Charles A. Culberson has locked the United senatorship, in a burg while Osc nch Colquitt stand the outside us folks, those Texans! OUR PROHIBITION why an illicit saloon i is made possible by an office-holdi district res lled called a ents understand ; it is because it g hog who agrees not ind pi to see JOHN WANAMAKER might put over his plan if Belgium would agree to raise twice as much as Andy will give and rename it “Belgium, founded by Rockefeller.” Carnegie John D. ON DIS DAY —— NO FRIDAY DE ITs NO USE TRYIN’ To DO ANYTHING To- DAY! ig By Herbert Quick In matters of warfare, there is 0 time to wait for time to tell Brains must tell before time has a chance even to make a guess, Thirty-two thousand inventions for use in War are said to have been offered to the British govern ment since the war began; to there is no reason to doubt that as many have been exhibited to the | governments of the other great na. tions involved fn {t. A device for completely tmmun. to the dangers of A LITTLE BIT OF MOST ANYTHING | areca ee siven rigid tects | in England. Arthur Lynch, in ® speech in the house of commons yesterday jsaid that an explosive bomb of [greater power than anything ever known is being investigated by the French war office, The greatest task devolving on the war offices, in many respects, is the task of sifting the wheat from the chaff tn Inventions and discoveries. It requires just the sort of brains which warriors do not usually possess. —® It must be very pleasing to Secretary Daniels that his civilian WOODROW WILSON’S PROBLEM 1S TO MAKE POSSIBLE SANE FINANCING OF WAR LABORS ment has been copied by the Brit- ish government. Nothing yet done by him has won such general ap-| proval, | War is more of a contest of brains than of brawn or courage. If such a board had been able be- forehand to tell that the sub! marine Was a success, that the ma-, chine gun would win over the rifle, | or that high explosive shells fired from 17-inch guns would pulverize fortifications, how many hundreds of thousands of men would such prevision have been worth? It is a sad thing to think of, thia thing of mobilizing the best brains!” of the world in the services of war; but there is no way out, Peace may be the only practical thing, but the world {s in an un- practical frame of mind. What is right 1s no thought of. What is expedient and profitable for purse, body and soul is laughed at. | | We are sure to play the war game with the rest of them—not tn actual fighting, let us hope, but longer THE BRAVEST MAN He is the bravest man | know. Why? He's trying out his new saddle horse on Friday the 13th! oe 6 NOT NOW John, do your clerks watch the clock? No—not since | hired that pretty stenographer! | HEARD AT THE KIRMESS “Why does that yeung girl close her eyes when she sings?” “She has such a tender heart she doesn't want to see us suffer.” in preparations for war—or against!on a good one. | War, as certain people seem to find) than anyone else. We have spent more money on a/in the way of poor navy than Germany has spent! tific bra’ jboard on invention and develop — Serie ye : Pleasure in saying tt. 7 | The necessity for a greater army! The Wilson administra‘ and a great navy is one which I,for|a greater problem than an one, deplore; but a bad navy which of-the-times army and navy. .| costs more than the sum paid for It We have made a bluff at prepared-|good navies by other governments, honest and sane financl: We have played it rather worse|nese—a bluff in which we have used/and a little army which fs more things as well. |#mall financial sense, and not much expensive than the great armies of We have spent more on a ridic: jously small army than Japan bh: Theretore, let us play it better) spent on a great and efficient on than anyone else, If we can. tolerable. Of the two problems, the inventive and scten-|other nations—these things are in-|the more important, though the mer is more spectacular. : by the yur FISHERS BLEND FLOUR AAWARDED GOLD MEDAL ¢ FISHERS BLEND FLOUR manuf actur- ed by the Fisher Flouring Mills Co. has been awarded a of Awards of the Panama Pacific International Exposition. gold medal ste must solve the problem ef ng of theme