The Seattle Star Newspaper, July 28, 1915, Page 4

A LITTLE BIT OF MOST ANYTHING } am not Member of the Sortpps Northwest League of Newspapers Published Daily by The Star Publishing Oo, Phome Main 9400 WILE’S “PORK BARREL” BAIT FAILS ONGRESSMAN WILL E. HUMPHREY, he who voted himself a present of $1,200 for an imagin- ary trip, took a real trip the other day. He went to Kitsap county. Mindful of his crying need for votes in his an- nounced candidacy for the U, S. senate against Miles Poindexter, Humphrey looked out onto Liberty bay— and he promised. He promised everything in and out of sight. promised enorinous appropriations for Liberty bay. There would be improvements galore, he promised; improvements beyond the fondest dreams or imagina- tions of the men residents of the Liberty bay districts— improvements that only a congressman with a highly cultivated imagination of getting something for noth- ing could conjure up. You'd imagine these liberal promises would tickle everybody in Kitsap county. “Mr. Humphrey said he would like to have a pic- ture of the person that would not take all he could get in this manner,” says the Kitsap County Herald in commenting on Humphrey’ 8 promises. “We believe he could have found several in this vicinity who would not take anything unless they felt they were entitled to it. When legislative ideas are no higher than merely to throw out baits for a pork barrel grab, there is not much to anchor our confidence on.” Can it be possible that Humphrey's old stand-by, the “pork barrel,” is going into disrepute? Certainly Editor Iverson of the little Poulsbo paper before referred to, is unwilling to fall for it. “To try to make people believe that the govern- ment will make bulkheads and dredge the whole bay and sluice it up, and thus make land improvements, is, Outbursts of Everett True — AND TODAY 1 TAKE LUNCHEON WITH THE JONESES He 1 | keeds, day peta heem so mucha he “Mrs. Simon—This lamb here. spoil! buy here if you} going to buy you (Curtain) ie ee OW, THUNDER Y' SEE TH trousEMAID | An Eye to Business |. Johnny's mother was having her tablecloths st } ! | | ed of d. So, here—caviar? Waltress—Because, sir, they're "SHORE MUM? SAYS THE] ino Puck, SEMAID, “AN THEY the AN HAVENT YET DRUNK WOT Far Better [Give ‘Em TH la burglar woke her up at night, She roused her spouse and sa “He'll_rob us of our silver, de: $0 get up and take his fead!” eee Goo BYE ul Womanlike | (Vaudeville pliaylet in one act, Scene—Swell reception. Time— A Married Man’s Troubles STAR—WEDNESDAY, JUL sort of slang phrase: ‘HOT AIR AND POLITICAL BUNKUM,’”’ he says. Editor Iverson makes it plain that he favors any legitimate improvement at Liberty bay and elsewhere, but he is distinctly opposed to the idea of dipping into the public treasury merely to grab an appropriation, “The move for justice and fair expenditure has to come from the people,” he says. “Political mounte- banks will never do it.” Humphrey’s trip to Kitsap county, it will thus be seen, can hardly be accounted as profitable—unless, of course, he should get congress to vote another $1,200 for his “traveling expenses.” PUT THE PLEDGE IN FRONT ANE ADDAMS says that the Germans, English and French all make their soldiers drunk be- fore they can screw them up to the point of bayonet charge. Germans get drunk on beer, Eng- lishmen on rum and the French on absinthe, she says. As Miss Addams fails to mention the Rus- sians, we presume they are normally drunk on vodka. Taking the truth of the statement for granted, there seems to be a fine field for the prohibition workers right on the battle front. It should not be hard to get a lot of signatures to the pledge under those circumstances. THE SEATTLE CHAP who advertised his intent to commit suicide and failed to do so, is in jail now, The charge must be false advertising AN AMERICAN store at Puertacitas has been looted by Villa troops. It’s really amazing how long the supply of American shops in Mexico holds out | OLIVIA, THAT PRLLOW PRIEND OF NOURG WAS BERN HANGING AROUND WERE FOR THE LAST THREE EVENINGS UNTIL 12 OCLOCK — WOW Nop Tei. Him [Tor i's t's Time To a \ Go womet | ff RAIN OR NO RAI \ WANT HIM “To Go, AND Go NOW! Y 28, 1915. PAGE 4 EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE SEATTLE STAR according to our humble opinion, best expressed in aCONGRESSMEN COMING Tt IS practically certain the rivers and harbors committee of the house of representatives. will visit Seattle soon, now that the council has joined, by appropriating $150 toward the expenses, in the effort to bring them here. Seattle, the chief port in the Northwest, is a city which the rivers and harbors committee of congress ought to know at first hand. Puget Sound, as a whole, is an arm of the sea with which this powerful committee should be- come familiar. It is as important to this committee as it is to Seattle and Puget Sound that, in legislating for this part of the country, the congressmen should do so intelligently, with an eye to the real needs of the harbor and its tributary territory, rather than to the “pork barrel” idea which, unfortunately, has been too often the case in the past. Seattlé wants no “pork barrel” grabs. It wants what it really needs as great public improvements that are essentially’ public, and not merely private, in nature. The visit of the rivers and harbors commit- tee will be important. It will teach the distinguished guests that this far Northwest is not the “wild and woolly” picture some of them probably have in mind; that it is a hustling, thriving, growing, enterprising part of the same United States to which the East belongs. There is need in the East for a better under- standing of the Northwest and the Pacific coast, and for that reason the Commercial Club and the city council and the port commission and the busi- ness men who have contributed deserve credit for aut of city, one year, 81.50; 6 96; Abe per month up to @ carrier, olty, 266 = month, jeattia, Wash., postoffice aa bringing the rivers and harbor Seattle. ommittee to AN EDUCATIONAL FEATURE THREATENED with shortage of fuel supply for the navy, the British government pra tically forces Welsh mine owners to share their high war profits with their miners. It is a palliative, not a cure, but it has a ten. dency toward government ownership. War is edu. cational, in several respects. GOT TO CATCH ‘EM FIRST N OFFICIAL declaration published in Germany says all Germans working in arms factories in the United States will be deemed guilty of treason, and subject to 10 years’ imprisonment. Our German-Americans should worry, as long a way to Berlin as it is to Tipperary. It is A CONSCIENCE-SMITTEN man ha to Uncle Sam's sent $10,000 he still gets an We know of lots of perfectly righteous him for half the conscience fund and say occasional folks who would sum smite. landed a solar OAKLAND, HAS now Yet they xus blow along. The little autobus seems to be able to take a lot of punishment and still bob up when the gong taps GEN. SALAZAR, broke jail at Albuquerque last fall, has been nabbed again by federal officers. Feed- revolutionists promises to become as serious Uncle Sam as providing rations for the Rus- Germany on the jitneys run merrily who ing the Mex a problem te sian prisoners is to By Allman You WAD BETTER. tN, CALL MIS ATTENTION re THE “TIME, OLIVIA = Ny H\\ el! Wai # - GONE Brenig | \ fo iis —s YOO CAN'T BEAT Le 1D MR. OveB - \BE DOTA FARM BUT | Dow THIs IS ALL GOOD YASS, YAAS, (LL BUY THE) FARM FROM You | AINT GOT MUCH USE FER IT BUT IT'S PRETTY SWELL) STUFF To OwN A FARM THESE DERMS IT IS | UNDERSTOOD’ THAT ALL CONTRACTS (PREVIOUSLY OW 1 6UESS HELL KEEP DRY WITH Your, RAINCORT AND YOUR Ow MR. DUBB UDDER] (3 “GOLLY, THATS OFFA HER OVER! DAN COPS ACAR IN HIS Society Girl (dreamily)—Oh, the|ten to that yet! CHIEF LANG TO PUT LID ON dancing in places w sold, the chief is a bit finicky about {the only kind that won't show coal |the boasts a bar at which various wet larticles are ,| Press club and Bert Butterworth, chief of the ranged to give any amount of bail, | but the dance will go On, they sald. “We can't our show declare, ade. The musicians’ associa tion will fftrnish a band of 100 tn honor of Sousa, and there'll be do. {ings all along the line of parade on ere Hquor 1s proposed dance, since the club The show at night will be a stag]. affair at the Press club, Fifth ave, and University, Sousa and his} ey band will appear at the Metropolt-|™ 4% tan, matinee and evening, for three days, beginning Thursday after. noon Tilikums, have ar give up any part of plans now,” they both in defiant chorus. Ane he passed today. Death by MINO! (TS ACLASSY THING- To OWN A FARM! I'LL GO DOWN “TOMORROW AN' Loo, ‘DYNAMITE DAN—(OR, THE FIEND IN HUMAN FORM!)—A MOVIE. IN THREE PARTS. . THE HA! THE ef DICKS ARE ARE HOT ON (SYDNEY, YOU'RE A PEACH, THAT CLAUSE COMPELLING HIM To FULFILL ALL CONTRACTS ENTITLES ME TO INVITE ALL MY FRIENDS THE FARM AS OFTEN AS! MY Biametess | bought it from you yesterday. 1| Furr! His give me bad meat <> (A vaudeville playlet in one act." y | 5 F Piace—eny butcher shop. Time nad meat van no! 7%] gall TRAIL! a4 yr "| Mrs. Sime Tony, the butcher. Mrs. Simon, | uae n_ Bitson —Neverttis less, this | crest 3 ‘ with basket on arm.) (Aha " book, "Peggy Blossom,” isn’t it too| delightful, chanting! Even NOT ONE OF THE FAMILY ppy smilie on Tony's face. ‘ Mrs. Simon—‘Tony, I think this | Monee kic’ F taew, tase ae grand Author—Ah, and how did you) First Barber—I notice your|(From the Meagher, Montana, meat is spoile 7 leame from’ a lectlo lamb. De| _ Author—Really, you are too kind,|Iike the beginning friend, Jones, soubbed you when| acters agp iad ie madame! Society Girl—Why, I haven't got- pin aie Registered Poland AP Me Second Barber—Yes, but then|China sow. No relation. Call or @ which tells of bile, plenic jay. My neighbor, jending, the ending. It was clever, (Curtain) I've “cut” him often in my time! | address BE. G. Summers, Copper, | Jones, came home last night, jomach packed in ice. He hollered, elt ie Mont. and he rent the air with words that were not nice. The tenant No Chance 4.6 silent as the stars, had waited years for Jones. Six feet of clay, at Scotch Thrift An old Scotch ingside Kid (in ring)—No use, | he lands me with a right ev-| farmer was con saying “Na, Teks A Hew ONW, Hany’ | she tastieuted a fine of a penny for | ery time, “I ain't got no chance! | yqually hounded by a persevering : ; rainer—Go on, he's shorter than|insurance agent to take out some SAYS TH LEDDY OF TH | During tea a few days later John 7 you are! pages OUSE, 1 THOT | TOLE Ya! [DY wae observed rubbing his rather Kid—Sure, but ain't he a trom-| gandy, however, managed to stall PUT MORE WATER IM Doe as ee sad Vaath @ [bone player? him off’ for weeks ide b # cup ar a saucer : es “ me na, my hoose is na likely to catch TRA GOLDFISH ed hi n ag i you! “Danecin’ is dancin’. ripped his brain 25 minutes ago and Certain of It afire.” Bow? ‘Oeil soft tha tablacts sur. That's the ultimatum delivered! gosh-ding it, It's some show. The Ethel, to grocer: “Mamma One day his house caught fire! Yert hb, no, I won't!" replied the | Wednesday by Police Chief Lang) characters will epeak for them.| wants a loaf of br and Sandy ran into the street % youngster. “I'm just trying to rub |to the Press club and the Tilikums,| selves, and will be namelese—un-| must be today's, because yes- | vainly calling for the insurance \two apots into one.” J |who are planning a dance to wind, less you know them.” _terday’e was ween’ agent, After a while he shouted | oe up a big celebration in honor of} Sousa and his band of 65 will “Tha'’s just it. Ya canna The Only Thing | America’s great bandmaster, Sousa,|Feach the city Thursday morning POISONED find a body when ye want him!” Customer (in raliwsy lunch. | #t the club rooms Thursday even-|At 11:15, hosts of Tilikums and 2 6 jocm)—Walireba, Why a! de oon ime Press club members will be at the HIMSELF AT 40! Why Not? have oniy one kind of sandwiches| Since the recent ation over dt to escort ‘em in a downtown ¢| Patient—When I was a boy an old physician sald if I didn't stop smoking cigarets I'd turn out to be feeble minded Doetor—Why didn’t _you stop? slow Polson ts eiiling sampled and some-|S0°°nd ave. and other streets]! When your kidneys begin to lag) times pald for | downtown, ending at the Press|in throwing off na al poisons that ‘'p i ; y in your body, the. firet sitive elle President John Evans of the|°lu? me in itis twingee, oF (] “your back and hips. ; you|from the suffering caused by dis-| the morning|ordered conditions of the organs should feel your best. lof digestion and from indigestion and always secured by certain and gentle n Pog 4 biliousnesa—« the safe, | action of D + Haarlem remedy was first prod nt laboratortes in H. After dinner. Characters—| it's going to be SOME show.” ip ne | Suthor, society girl.) *—Popular| "An unknown author, or rather| BARBERS TO VISIT HOME the’ Kianepe and binadec GRR given . | Society Girl (to author)—So glad |one who doesn’t yet feel it safe to) A dozen members of the barber@ {relief at once or your money will be S to meet you, I've heard you| allow his identity to be known, has/ union will give free tonsorial atten: | ef" 1, GOLD bag yore Haarlem e |spoken of #0 often and have read| written a play for the occasion,|tion to the children in Ryther's {frome temien, Ait Wmported direct all your books as they came out which {fs thus advertised: |Home, Stewart and Denny way, Fri-jany drug 50e and | S Popular Author—You are so kind “Euripides did NOT write this|day afternoon, following a practice | $00 Acé itut : Society Girl—And your latest show 2,500 years ago, Somebody! inaugurated recently, tend ES. Bharentene py Sold everywhere, In boxes, 10c., 256. ~ AD CONTESTS elimination— | The toadstool! Is a sniper. With a quick and deadly aim, he draws his bead on young and old, on well and iil and lame, sits beneath the sycamore lor his prey; with sal If all the toadstool victims noon today, will cover up his bones. ntion, when the — should on resurrection morn assemble In con blows his horn, | think the earth, with oce. dried, would be to small to serve this myriad host of men a convention hall. ‘whe has the courage to make war on this foe, fat and grim? If any man could win the fight, the world would honor him. To Mister A. Carnegie, to Gorgas, | appeal! Won't some one great, e’er it’s too late, give ear unto my spiel? MINERS IN FIRST | | DIVORCED, HE DIES TACOMA, July 28.—Because his wife obtained a divorce, L. H. 75, a civil war throat with a razor and ended his life. He had been an inmate e 80) Orting since All the horrors of ‘a mine accident | (he, Sldiers’ home at Orting and all the thrills of rescue work | ~~ that go with It will be enacted at | ° Cle Elum on Satyrday, when more Wilke than 1,500 miners from the mine| districts of Washington will com-| |pete in rescue and first-aid con tests, In the second annual contest | jof this nature, The first meet was held on the| University of Washington campus | tor Infants aos lovalids HORLICK’S last year, and the Cle Elum team THE ORIGINAL carried off first honots, with the LK Roriyn Poel cor team second | MALTED MI The contest is under the direc Age tion of a committee composed of 1, TH@ Food-Drink for all J. Corey, of the United States mine | Rich milk, malted grain, in rescue station at James Bagley, state mine in spector; Martin J. Flyzik, district | president of the United Mine Work. | ers, and D. C, Botting, commission- er of the Washington Coal Oper ators’ association, For infants, invalids and growing childres Pure nutrition, upbuilding te whale body Invigorates nursing mothers asd the | More prep than tea or coffee. Unless you “dl you may cagellnay 4 @ eubetitutee the university; | veteran, cut his” {seRasey