The Seattle Star Newspaper, July 20, 1915, Page 4

Member of the Seripps Northwest League of Newspapers Published Datly by The Star Publishing Oo. Phone Main 9400 EYES THAT SEE BUT ONE THING HE man in the picture above has a pair of eyes that see but one thing. That one thing is the dollar mark. Nothing else tm all this world counts fof much to him, He lives by and for dollars. He imagines that he can make his wife and HY LAT gd {| IGA tean i children happy by piling up dollars and dollars and dollars; he thinks that he can gain friends easily if he has plenty of gold. He thinks that all the best in the world is his for the asxing—and paying. That is why he keeps his eyes glued to 1ttbeene) ies Outbursts of Everett True | made by the old master whoever) n. ¥., mundy—if you was to bust into any other store and ask for|they mean by that I dont know ‘YOU BOUGHT AN AUTO. B » eel ’ Some goods what — 500 years old } what was the identikal fiddle what| | How sYOUGETTI ete fame - ont y lam you over | nero played on when rome burned| ON} je been and speed you out to the down Bago at boss wd that way| o what are you giving me, replys OHIO METHOD IN ellers buy les mr payne, don't you know that was | What they want is one so old that a myth DENTISTRY ® good wind would scatter the) sertinly, says the deeler rubbin, pieces all over long fiand & they'd|his hands together fast enuff to| Missing teeth are replaced by | kick a new fiddle highern a kite | wear the skin offen them, sortinly,| TB Ohio Method by artificial teeth | that was the kind of a deeler|it is a myth and mister myth's| (at are natural | who was trying to sell a fiddle to| name was on it, but It got worn oft] ‘eth. Examinations ; , vanted | Pe pre ae wanted fo. buy Pe 5s Jobny | mates are furnished 1 | Bridget’s Education Two Missing WE 8TAND BACK OF OUR WoRK (Vaudeville playlet in one act.| Civil Engineer (to Mexican farm-| FOR 12 YEARS’ GUARANTEE ON CRUTCHES! Time—today. Place—any home. Characters—Bridget O'Toole, new! hhousemald; mistress; Mrs, Tim- mons, her friend.) Mistress—Now, Bridget, I have showed you how to use the tele- phone. Bridget—Yis, mum. Mistress—If any one phones me/| business and get home again the er)-—-Now, Pedro, when this railway is put thru here, it will save you much time. How many days do | you spend taking your stuff to mar- ket pow? Pedro--Three, sir. Engineer—Ah, exactly, Three days. Now, with the railroad, you can get to market, transact your| ® tion exercises)--There’s that Wit-| fle boy about to speak for his class. | it! Jobnny Wiffle (on platform)—j|son if he wasn’t borrowing some- |$15 Set of Teeth, yg: sad dienes woes $8 $10 Set of Teeth, $10 Solid Gold or STAR—TUESDAY, JULY 20, 1915. the ticker as it ticks off dollars and cents from morning until night. Ot course, we all know that this man is mis- taken; that mere money will not make his wife and children happy; that it will not buy for him good and true friends; that the best things on earth —love, health, genuine happiness, and the honest esteem of his fellow man—cannot be bought with gold alone. We all know further that while this deluded human being is using his eyes day in and day out watching the fluctuations of his stocks and bonds, he is missing the greatest sights in life. The man in the picture is to be pitied. The galley slave chained to his oar was no more a slave than is this man chained to this ticker by a golden chain of greed for dollars. IT CERTAINLY IS New Austria must fight the Italians alone be- cause of vast German interests in Italy which would be jeopardized in event Germany declared war, which means that Germany will send troops to the Russian frontier to release the Austrians so they can go fight Italy. The etiquette of war is h—, too, isn't it? WILSON PLANS to put a kick in the German note If there's any kicking to be done we nominate Charley Brickley, erstwhile of Harvard A DIPLOMAT is a person who can eat corn off the cob while wearing a plug hat and a frock coat WE ARE informed that a band from the Ford plant in Detroit is en route for San Francisco thru Seattle A tin band is quite a novelty 1A Married Man’s Troubles SAY ELEN, You oucnT| || NOTICED IT, y ‘To TIP OLivia OFP TO Sra ToneR, WATCH HER GRAMMAR. AOwT te SS NOW GERT, LETS GO DOWN TOWN AN’ GET SOME MuSi FOR THE NEW PIANO | Sue's DREW SAYING, “1 WAVE SAW”? AND PAGE 4. T. R. HAS A NEW AVERSION HE colonel has a new pet aversion. Speeding south from Seattle, the doughty Roosevelt hesitated a half hour at Portland, and sent a message to the convention rooms of the Sons of the American Revolution. “I hope,” said the colonel, “there are mollycoddles @mong you. There would be Sons of the American Revolution if the sentiments of men in those early days had been ‘peace at any price,’ or if, in 1776, women had gone around singing, ‘I Didn’t Raise My Boy to Be a Soldier.’ ” We pick up the current issue of the Metro- politan magazine. We find a Rooseveltian article denouncing pacifists and the peace-at-any-price propaganda. “As a part of her program,” he writes, “Ger- many has counted on the effect of terrorism upon all men of soft nature.” He says the bloody happenings in Europe “have cowed the type of man who cheers such a song as “I Didn’t Raise My Boy to Be a Soldier.’ ” One deducts that Teddy isn’t overly fond of this song. Did you ever hear it? thing like this: “| didnt raise my boy to be a soldier, 1 brought him up to be my pride and joy. Who dares to place a musket on his shoulder To shoot some other mother’s darling boy? ite their future troubles, ay the sword and gun away. be no war today, if mothers all would say, ‘| didn't raise my boy to be a soldier.” no no The chorus goes some- OLIVIA, COME. HERE A MiNUTEL “MAN, HWE YOU KISSED) OLIVIA, DONT FERL OFFENDED,BUT | OU SHOULD WATCH YOUR GRAMMAR. PAT DACEY, the cavalry department of Dugdale’s baseball forces, is a true sold He slee his unj- form, it is said IF THE tide of war ebbs and file er Warsaw it did a well-k but rarely mentioned fortress in Galicia, we recommend the name be changed to Seesaw HIS EARLIER notes having been flats, President Ison will deal in nothing but sharps hereafter SOME MEN are not safe even in jail IT IS SAID that visitors from Kar no dif ficulty in breaking thre the cafes last week Maybe the doorkee t them THERE IS a letter in Washington, D. C., for Wilk iam Hohenzollern ROOSEVELT MAY tell what he's going to do in the 1916 campaign but really he doesn’t know any more about it than we do IF WE ever get arrested for anything we hope that marshal from Juneau, Alaska, is put in charge of us, AFTER DEEP study, Attorney Tanner has come to the conclusion that oysters clams are not wild # animals. Inhabitants of Olympia and vicinity can now sleep nights TEXT BOOKS are to be changed in the kids will not like them old one the schools, than the § but any better CHAMP CLARK scores “peace at any price.” Per. haps Clark wants to wait for a bargain day THE SEATTLE GIANTS are in the midst of a re markable winning slump. HEADLINE IN STAR: “Russians Batter Wedge Formation.” This was barred in the rule early 1909. 4 Iman By Al NO. IT WASNY ME. IT MUST A’ BEEN THE OTHER GUY. NIP THE DIP ARRIVES AT HIS FAVORITE SUMME RESOR Just Like Them Mr. Waffles (at school gradua-|men—iend me your ears!” Mrs. Waffles—There! ——oee 1 thing! | eee MISTA BONES, | HEAR’ Guaranteed ... Porcelain Crown ., $10 Gold or Porcelain Bridge Work ... ee | =f the bell ringe—lift off the re|*#me day! ‘ | Siiver, Understand? Pedro—Ah, senor, but what witt| Solid ah Fillings ..$1_ Up od Pee become of the other two days? | Other Fillings ..........50@| Exit mistress;’ pause of a min- AS ad ute; phone rings; Bridget jumps Willing Office ngalad ye i 6 Sundays, for receiver. : Facetious One (to undertaker) — " Bridget—Hello! In your business, I guess you never Cut-Rate EET Mrs. Timmons (over wire)—~Who is this? Bridget—Indade, O1 don't know —divil a bit kin I see ye! (Curtain.) see @ person that you don’t wish him dead? Undertaker—No; there aro a great many people I'd be willing to bury alive! OHIO Discovered! Dentists | my son, rae Said wise old Mr. Fox. I’ve got It, dad, It's chicken pox, For here's a feather in my bed, 207 UNIVERSITY 8T, COPINNER SECOND AVE, “Friends, Romans—tfellow country- I knew He wouldn't be his mother's ‘re ill; your face Is red, Considerate some shawtcomin's,” she deciared.| Patron—Yes, Martin, my wife|“Fur instance: Mah son Jawge er) looks after me soa: In fact, | jes’ lak a grasshoppab.” | there are times when she even) “4 g00d ” | | takes off my shoes for me. tséeaee aeorr 5 ag Martin—I see, sir, I suppose! aq, is that 1s when you come home tired! , 1 agora Saly two things at night in de whole worl’ worries him: He Patron—No, no. It {s when she| Worries dat he hab to wake to eat, thinks Tam about to slide out early| 82 den he worries dat he hab to {n the evening. | stop eatin’ to go to sleep, Ah sut ° Ps eae 4 doan undabstan’ dat boy.” No Chance ut how do you conclude that Professor—The geologist thinks bog ie oat erp fg — nothing of a thousand years, ae bets eae ek do seanatl 8t G $ saoiint sil senate. loaned a miscndahstansable creature dat Ah yeqereer' in think of, dat's why,” | swered.—-Loulsville Times, she an- Ready “Percy, I tell you I wouldn't mar- ry the best man living!” “Well, at any rate, you have the pleasure of knowing that he offered himself!" The Victim! Most soaps and prepared sham When Mrs. Jones talked on “The poos contain too much alkall, Curse of Whisky,” | which 1s very Injurfous, as !t dries The audience thought she was pret-| the scalp and makes the hair brit ty frisky. tle, But no one heard anybody object, The best thing to use is Just plain Tho the Indy was certainly “full of| mulsified cocoanut oil, for this ts her subject.” pure and entirely greateless. It's re | very cheap, and beats soaps or He Had None ; anything elsd all to pieces, You John quarreled with winsome Grace| Can get this at any drug store, and last night, ja few ounces will last the whole While owning freely she's a family for months. “bird,” | Simply moisten the hair with wa as’ Mieaeien ‘Rik cpainan ter and rub it in,,about a teaspoon (on a” to her all) cui ts all that ts required. It make right, ‘an abundance of rich, creamy lath ti me wil * ay eunrerte home thout a er, Cleanses thoroughly, and rinses | PY out easily. The hair dries quickly | and evenly, and {s soft, fresh look Puzzled Parent | é ing, bright, fluffy, wavy and easy Polly, the washerwoman, Wasi to handle. Besides, it loosens und deep in a discussion of her fam-/taxes out every particle of dust, ily’s shortcomings. its “Mah fambly ‘suttinly do hab dirt and dandruff.—Advertisement, When You Wash Your Hair Don’t Use Soap Irresistible advertisement of fine air tht Summer Hote! Proprietor—Gad! | brought 'em? et We never had so many men guests, His Partner—No; my advertioe — before. D’you suppose it was my. ment of fine heiresses. A LIGHT LOAF Is 'DAGOBERT KICKED To THE HEALTHIEST “ NAGER" MA\ — DUR CORA:~ You SAY You lARDUP || HAVE A DREADFUL ACHE {N YoUR HEAD. WHY NOT TRY GETTING I(T FILLED! HERMAN: THE TERM __, "SMART AS A STEEL TRAP IS APPLIED To PEOPLE <j WHO, LIKE THE TRAP KNoW JUST WHEN Yo SHUT UP! ——~ Pe re =