The Seattle Star Newspaper, July 17, 1915, Page 4

Member of the Sortpps Northwest League of Newspapers Pablished Daily by The Star Publishing Oo, Phone Main 0400 ARE YOU EASILY SCARED? BLAME YOUR GLANDS ND now we are informed by Dr. DeWitt G. Wilcox of Boston that heroism or cowardice is merely a matter.of glands. He explained the matter in his address at the convention of the American Institute of Homeopathy. He cited cer- tain observations made in the present war and ad- vanced the theory that men show valor and super- human endurance in proportion to the secretions of those little understood but highly important organs. So you need no longer be ashamed if the sight of a mouse alarms you into beating an undignified retreat to the safety of the table and emitting shrieks of a highly penetrating nature. Merely blame your glands. Your character is largely controlled by these glands, which determine whether you are brave or cowardly; kind, cruel, energetic, lazy, good na- tured or irritable. A FAIRY STORY NCE upon a time a man bought a second-hand automobile. The vehicle was young when Noah built the ark. Its body looked like it had been wished on. The wheels did the corkscrew curve every time they turned over. The exhaust sounded like a fog ts of Everett True| A Married Man’s Tro | Outburs A LITTLE BIT OF MOST ANYTHING || ce env eeeeeee “Adam {s thought by some critics to Dave remarked, not without much anger: ga swith any gold-headed Cains, now myself!” retorted Eve, affect- “tifled to death. « * » A young German officer stopped ‘pt a wayside inn in France. was tired, ‘the man in charge offered him some Spice turkey. 4nto it, and after some moments of! WHAT IS THE SENSE OF WUR BUYING PERFUME fr SIMPLY IS WAPTED INTO wager Bae! \ IT TRAILS OFF TO MEET THE SMOK® FROM NOUR EXPENSIVE CIGARS Perhaps [steady eating, he asked: While the soldier may shud | der at the thought of the shells | which fall around him, the act- or has a great fear. What he | fears most are the yolks! ee The First When their first son was born, “Yes, absolutely sure,” | the landlo: “There's persisted the officer. awer. turned to his orderly. turkeys now.”—Everybody's, “Red hair! oe r you?” “Well, I am not presenting you if I Wouldn't that He Saw Them Judge—So you say words passed between the husband and wife in this case. Did you hear what they were? Witness—No; but IT saw them, AO HOM He threw a dictionary at her! Doubtful ssa gle tiad Why Not? He! If “trans” means Upon asking for food, As In tra parent, The officer pitched It seems to me, boss, Should stand for cross parent! Women Look Well When they escape the sallow skin, the pimples, black- heads, facial blemishes due to indigestion or bilious- ness, t times, all women need help to rid the system Of poisons, and the safest, surest, most convenient and most economical help they find in EECHSM'S This famous family remedy has an excellent tonic effect upon the entire system. It quickly relieves the ailments caused by defective or irregular action of the organs of digestion, headache, backache, low spirits, extreme nervousness. Purifying the blood, Beecham’s Pills improve and Clear The Complexion Directions of Special Value to Women with Every Boz. Sold everywhere. In Boxes, 10c., 28, i indifference, albeit secretly mor- “Are you certain this is turkey?" replied no doubt about it, eh?”| “None whatever,” came the an- A moment later the officer “Fritz,” he declared, “saddle our STAR—SATURDAY, JULY 17, 1915. EDITORIAL PAGE horn with a cold. “It's cheap at agent. $450,” declared the smiling “Til take it,” responded Our Hero, When he puffed down the street in the relic no one laughed at him, The engine ran very nicely and never balked once, He didn’t stall on the crossings and get in bad with the traffic cops. Everything went lovely. After a summer’s enjoyment with his machine he went to a sales agency to trade in his machine on a new car, “How much will you give me on this machine in a trade?” “Five hundred dollars, asked Our Hero, was the reply. “Pil take it,” exclaimed Our Hero. And he lived happily ever after. WHOLE HOG OR NONE ONE of their lines running directly from the ferry to the exposition, the United Railroads Co, of San Francisco has got an injunction against the Municipal lines because the latter’s lines do so run, It’s the regular street railway warfare. If you don’t accommodate the public, don’t let anybody else, not even the city, do so! And the franchise hogs can find courts to clap on the injunction, (TELL You THis*summer. FUR BUSINESS HAS GoT TO STOP! I'M TIRED OF SEEING THE WOMEN OF THIS’ HOUSE HOLD FALL FOR ALL These’ PREAW STYLES IT are Vou UP STAIRS, Pama oLiviag WAIT UNTIL You | SRE The New \WRUKLE WeLeN | 1S WEARIN®’ | ‘To pay! AN IMDIAM TURBAN ad Gertie {WELL HERE {DOWN TEN ‘ BROKE | Let’s Can All the “Cranks’’! —, A U.5,GOVERNMENT 1S MAKING WAR ON CRANK rel PAGE 4. NEARING THE MARK Hk vania nance,” reads like a roll of trustees of the University of Pennsyl- “Who's who in high fi- Professor Scott Nearing had about as much chance with that bunch, ¢ after daring to express his liberal views, as the proverbial snowball in the lower regions. Yet the wise capitalists failed to take into con- sideration the Voice of the Public, making as much racket 4 ing a 20 per cent grade. Wherefore, the logical “reason why” doubtful success. eminent the trusteeing for the U. to which same i as a one-lung auto climb- gentlemen who do of P. are seeking for a still the clamor—with HE’S AT IT AGAIN USTIN ADAMS, the produce plays on “ Pigs.” play-writer, threatens to War Babies” and “Blind Scramble ’em, they're related, Austin, and give our social inferno one nose! tlings off your talent. hot punch right on the You've given the world enough of the whit- GERMANY IS clear out of patience with the Rus sians After being whipped good and plenty, and ad mitting it, the ezar’s men refuse to stay whipped long enough to do ccontrary any good ubles ome folks are just naturally 1 JUST A FANCY WANDKERCHIEF THAT You Tie AROUND NouR HAIR “TO HOLD 1T DOWN S0°S You KIN WEAR A SMALL HAT — WHAT IN SAM HILL \S tT, oLivia 2 D You KNAW’ be ABOOT GAWF au THE COWBOY’S REVENGE—TOM OXHEART TRAPS WINSOME TILLIE OF THE TWILIGHT LUNCH OXHEART PESTERS TILUE IN THE *@ TWILIGHT LUNCH! aug The Junio OXHEART ' Ayleeae @EALIZES HE HAS A SERIOUS Office Boy columbus stuck his hoof into american mud and started the beginning of the end for all buffa- los and redskins this grate discovering feller says that his discovery will revolutionize (the hole riting bizziness and stop 98 per cent of all cussing done by sivilized peopel he has made fountain pens work and you dont have to cuss or shake tho ink all over the carpet and then use a lead pencil he says with his new discovery you can make a fountain pen work as well as a ford all you got to do—this is the dis. n. y., today-—-the mayor of n. y.|guvnors to help with the flrewurks. covery so keep your ears peeled is going to call off work for everry plans and specifications are be- all you got to do the grate discoverer body some day purty soon and have|ing made to carve a hand made says is to keep a bottel of ink handy a grate selebrashion & maybe they! medal out of gold & preshus stones and dip the fountatn pen in that will invite the president and a few to give to the gratest discoverer|everry 24% seconds depending more| } lor less on how big a gob of ink| you get on it at each dip aint that grate cee johny He Stopped There First Laborer—What are ye! staading with yer pick up in the air| | like thot fer? | Second Laborer-—-Shure an’ the whistle blew whin I was tn this po sition, an’ divil a bit will do after working hours! ove Appropriate | Teacher—Now, pupils, what is| the national flower of England? | Pupi!l—The rose Teacher—And France? Pupil—The lily, Teacher-—And Spain? Pupil-—Bull rushes! By mall, ont of ity, one your, $4.00) 6 months, $1.90; af0 per month ap to @ +, ety, Ihe ® month, le, Wash,, postoffies ae GUN-TOTING NCLE SAM is going to get himself a good re. volver and stick it in his belt until such time as his neighbors get together with him and set upa world-court and a world-sheriff to keep order in the community. But after we've armed our uncle we shall not let him go around to his neighbor, point that gun at him and say: “! hear you're lookin’ for Huh?” That's the kind going to let him practice. me. How about it? self-defense not of we are BRYAN addressed a tre at the San Francisco expo. reported the speech in two ~Or? WILLIAM JENNINGS mendous concourse of people The Associated Press Verily, fame is fleeting JANE ADDAMS has returned from her inspection sles. She had a pleasant trip, con sition inches of space. of the warring peoy idering the conditions KING OF BAVARIA ha speech declaring that Belgium will be made part of Gerr y. It is ig order for the king of Belgium to declare that Bavarig will be made part of Belgium made a LONG BEACH, Cal, unveiled a Lincoln memorial monument on which the spelling’s so bad that every- body is buying a chisel for correction purposes. ASSASSIN HOLT’S brother-in-law says that Holt “educated fool.” It shows that a little learning e a terrible thing By Allman OLIVIA, HERB IS A NICE NEW, CRISP, TEN-sPoT — ITHINK THAT THING HELEM WAS ON, LOOKS LIKE THE DKKENS AND IM GOING TO TELL HER SO— ARE You WITH ME OR AGAINST. THEM ANT CHEAP ¥ NOHOW SAY, DID You “You MAY REMAIN AFTER. SCHOOL, Respectful She— Mr, Brown has ten chil and he won't allow any of them take music lessons. He—Sure! He's for the neighbors, ya’ know. 88 A Rare Medicine Dr. Ends—There is nothing ous the matter with Freddy, Blakely 1 think a little soap water will do him as pooch anything. Mr®. Blakely—Yes, doctor. shall I give it to him before oF his meals? wal eee His Opinion t “Now, caddy, what would yous® of my form?” “Well, as long as yer askia I should say kinda skinny. 1 met a Shady- I've had tough luck! girl who lived out in hurst “Shadyhurst? Why, that's | where the millionaires live. I think you're lucky!" “Not at all. I bought a 50-ride ticket an’ then got turned down flat by her!” eeraeeoceewo Sseee tt: =a